leaf-bones - Tumblr blog

[leaf-bones]

damn, this is basically just the concept of the next record done better than what I wrote.

this is killing me

[leaf-bones]

a song about (not) working to death in the name of a capitalist idea of self-worth

I don’t want to be productive

I understand the feeling and I feel it too That there is something close right ahead of you An end to all the aching Work through it, Push through it, Trudge up the hill An infinite incline, There is no other side

I don’t want to keep moving To make it look like I’ve been working I just need move slowly and cautiously at my own pace

I can’t sacrifice my own body and free time To help someone else make more money I’m not convinced you’re benevolent Call us leeches, when we’re giving our blood for this 
Giving up blood for this

Part of growing up Is learning to judge my worth by my own standards Not someone else’s I don’t want to be productive I like making music Because nobody listens

I don’t want to keep moving To make it look like I’ve been working I just need move slowly and cautiously at my own pace

I’m longing and longing to simply do nothing And get back in touch with why I’m alive In songs like thunder And I won’t let anyone tell me I’m wasting my life

I think we’re worth more than what we produce And our extractable monetary value

Working yourself to death is an abusive relationship And it’s not what I ever wish to be caught up in ever again

I don’t want to keep moving To make it look like I’ve been working I just need move slowly and cautiously at my own pace

I’m longing and longing to simply do nothing And get back in touch with why I’m alive In songs like thunder And I won’t let anyone tell me I’m wasting my life

I don’t have any bootstraps I don’t know what that is I fucking despise this I don’t think it’s what life is To just keep on going Til your bones are showing I won’t have it Don’t call me worthless

I don’t want to keep moving To look like I’m working I long to do nothing To just keep me going Get back in touch with why I’m alive Don’t tell me I’m wasting my life

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CAN’T STAY THIS WAY

Today I’m putting out two new songs. I’ll be donating and matching any proceeds to Until Freedom, an organization focused on fighting systemic and racial injustice. https://threadleaf.bandcamp.com/album/cant-stay-this-way

I don’t expect to make any significant amount as I’m not a popular artist, but I wanted to contribute in a way I could today—When Bandcamp is donating proceeds on their end to NAACP Legal Defense Fund.

These songs are up for pay-what-you-want, so you can choose the amount, or download them for FREE and then donate directly to Until Freedom here: https://www.untilfreedom.com/donate

Black Lives Matter.

[leaf-bones]

Tall Grass

I used to take walks And be full of energy I used to feel safe That my body wouldn’t betray me

And now it’s like I’ve aged Decades since winter

Bend for me And I’ll bend over backwards for you My grip is one big release A single thing too much to hold onto

I’m scared of losing my strength to strum And my jaw will swell too much to scream

I want to swing my arms and clench my fists while I’m still capable I wanna do all I that can to fight this bodily betrayal

I wanna step outside - and fall Into tall grass, in the morning and feel no pain.

Not enough oxygen to my brain I can’t focus on anything I need help

I need help

I need help.

[leaf-bones]

Cyclical Things

Too much to think about Wracking my brain And wrecking my brain Obsessing Wondering if every option means failing

It all starts and end the same Self-sabotaging It’s a cyclical thing

I don’t want my last drop of blood to dry out Nothing to pump to my brain Nothing to keep me going

No eyes to see this coming No foresight to test the trail I’m running

It all starts and end the same Self-sabotaging It’s a cyclical thing

Every road keeps cracking Every cut reopening It’s a cyclical thing

I’m losing it Can’t help it

But it’ll take a lot to kill me

Wracking my brain And wrecking my brain Obsessing

It’s a cyclical thing

[leaf-bones]

New Rooms

I can't keep my head up high enough The dirt's to my nose and you can't hear me And I can't hear you over heavy heart beating Wishing more than anything to get through If there's even an other side

It's just one thing after the next thing I'm mending as quickly as I can I need to find some kind of distraction So I don't keep clenching all my joints into oblivion

Staple a note that reads "What's wrong with me?" to my forehead It's all I'm ever asking. Just point to where the problem is I'll believe you in an instant. I've got no confidence that I'm functioning.

It's just one thing after the next thing I'm mending as quickly as I can I need to find some kind of distraction So I don't keep clenching all my joints into oblivion

I'm sick. But not the way I think I am.

Take the spaces between my fingers Show me new places I can be New rooms to see To ease my slow transition To new things in a new life that's coming And I'll step inside with legs that function. On to the next thing.

[leaf-bones]

Bitter End

In a diner, too loud to hear I found my footing Talking my way through problems in what was clearly an act of fantasy In the best way, I think I lost me

I was taking flight, chaotic Like a demon, all the horns Without the wings In a realm of fantasy I was doing the exact same thing

Speak up, I can’t hear you Over the sounds of monsters screaming

We started somewhere else But found our footing there

Down Fulton On the west end Make new friends Spent weekends Adventuring To the bitter end

There was something I think I knew I was missing But I found it When we move on to a quiet apartment I’ll still cherish where it began To the bitter end.

[leaf-bones]

Sorry Silence

The cracking of my jaw The pain behind my eyelids A tube down my esophagus For what was only in my head

Check on my insides The pain within my abdomen Give me useless medicine For what was only in my head

Every single illness will last forever The ringing in my ears won’t cease The eternal cold, the chronic sleep It’s always coming for me

I know my fate was overblown But the noises are still real I’ll take the steps I need to breathe And make the shrieking leave

All these costly visits Thinking everything is urgent Convince me I’m not shriveling What’s wrong is I can’t tell it to myself

Every single illness will last forever The ringing in my ears won’t cease I’ve lived too long to be so inept at Seeing what clearly won’t kill me

I’m sorry silence Took you for granted I’m sorry silence I’ll do anything I’m sorry silence Took you for granted I’m sorry silence Don’t leave, don’t leave I’m sorry, silence.

...

I hear noise I hear noise (fade) I hear it I hear it (fade) (fade away) (slowly fade) (the noise fades)

...

[leaf-bones]

Wasteful Wanderer

Springing up for the spring I hurt my back I’d forgotten about the sun I lacked Existence seems to have a new sheen So I won’t hide my voice from everything

I have new energy To take steps to be someone I won’t regret being

I can’t exist in a vacuum I’ve grown afraid of my impact That I might make a noise loud enough For someone else’s ears to ring

I saw something turn its head at me 360 degrees

I’ve been trying to be a person whose existence I can justify But I’m coming up short

Leaving better than I found me Turn my head around to see Make sure there’s no dirt tracked behind me

I want to share in this existence Without taking more than I’ve given

I saw something turn its head at me And I’d like to turn my head the same way Without breaking my neck

[leaf-bones]

END HOMES

End Homes is an account of the memories and travels through 5 different graveyards, followed by the closing track "Unmarked."

1. Greenwood 2. Blain 3. Rest Lawn 4. Woodlawn 5. Oakhill 6. Unmarked

https://threadleaf.bandcamp.com/album/end-homes

It will be available on Spotify, Apple Music, and more soon!

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End Homes / Lyrics

Greenwood - A tree fell from a storm in the cemetery right over the graves with names too worn to read, and I wondered how much more obscured one could be after being underground, And I’m no less obscure & that’s ok.

When the tree fell I’m sure it made a sound cracking over memorial stones, led to by mossy cemetery steps All of it sinking further down forgotten and shifting in the muddy ground, And I’m no less obscure & that’s ok.

////////

Blain - I was drawn in by the welcoming arch and walked the path paved the same shape traversed as an onlooker

What is nearer to humanity than already dead? Our natural state—the purest selflessness

I felt like an intruder to the birds making homes on stones

Anxious from the simplest interaction Assuming I didn’t belong, Approached by a stranger Afraid I was being kicked out for not being dead enough Sent back past the arch to the world of the living where I’ll temporarily belong

This isn’t my long-term parking space I’m headed home The minority 2-way ticket holder.

////////

Rest Lawn - Your name brings thoughts of comfort at the end Like a place to come and stay and work off sleep depravation Like I desperately need to. So how could someone be so disappointed in you?

Giving graveyards bad reviews, Were things not dead enough for you? Was this street side cemetery not your quiet sanctuary? Or were you buried alive, and you’re still stuck inside? If you don’t like it you don’t have to come back—until you do.

One star - graveyard Wouldn’t be caught dead in this place The decor’s only dirt and decay

Subpar - graveyard Buried only 5 feet deep Too close to the busy street The residents can’t sleep

But that wasn’t my experience I learned from you in my youth I passed by and had the memory come back to me It was part of my history Of where I grew And never far, A perfect 10, -5 stars.

////////

Woodlawn - In the midst of these neighboring cemeteries There was a small chapel that we crowded in Light through stained glass shone From the winter sun

And 3 years later I came back And I wonder if I ever will again? And for who? Within the pews, few But enough to hold us

Again up the hill to the graves, Seeing the grass this time in late spring My toes have warmed Across ground I might too join someday

When I’m gone too I’m afraid there won’t be room in the ground around you When the yard is good & filled & my blood is spilled into decay There won’t be any more space We won’t be neighboring graves.

But you could send me into space When there’s no me I wouldn’t care if you blew me to smithereens You can sink me in the sea When there’s no me You can burn me, bury me, leave me there to rot

If a stone must say my legacy “I once was scared, but now don’t care,” A lack thereof will follow me So feed me to trees Make anywhere my cemetery

There won’t be any more space We won’t be neighboring graves.

////////

Oakhill - The cemetery rules were knocked to the ground And I do suppose we can’t take civilization with us when we go Yet we build all this for them, These spires and stones crowded around For the living for the dead

I passed by so many places I knew Looking for a resting place for no one I’ve known But I know the names of these streets And I passed by graveyard after graveyard looking They’re all bunched up and want to be close And I felt a bit lost amongst the staring stones Then I arrived.

Shapes and shades in abundance With a pyramid of tomb & angelic sculptures I wonder if that’s just what they wanted to be buried near or under And I wonder what it is I want or if I care, well I don’t know.

I stood under a tree of bright & vibrant yellow leaves Readying their fall to meet their new ground home Where they decompose I do suppose there’s no better place than here, Although I know the yellow would be welcome anywhere— Become dirt and meet their caskets

-

The fall sun seeps & I can breathe & I alone.

I wonder where, and if I’ll care—where will be my end home.

Passing through what could be my end hometown I see them—villages of homes in the ground & stone—their end homes.

I thought I’d join too soon Wake up late and go before noon Young & weak I thought I’d suffer Doing tests and waiting for results & dying.

I thought I’d wake up that morning with the news & need to make my rounds Telling everyone they’d have to watch their friend slowly die.

I thought I was marked. I thought my body betrayed me. Hyper-rational—but my brain betrayed me.

You must understand if you can I truly believed I was going to die and it’s still so hard to believe I’m not shriveling —am I not shriveling away?

I’ll see you all soon but not too soon.

The owl watched over me like the god I’ll never have A creature of the night but still begging for light I thought I was cursed but came out fine—

& my blood & my insides will work with me for some time.

the fall sun seeps into me

and I feel release

golden leaves

save me

& the owl watches

& I breathe.

alive

with everything.

////////

Unmarked - I always wondered who gets a rock and who gets a tomb And where there others will go when we don’t have any more room And who gets evicted?

I have this fixation And in waves I’ll obsess too much of death I’ll feel terrified and panicked and feel this weakness all throughout my chest And through my bones

But I walk by these stones And feel a kindredness, That while so many have feared We all have to go Meet the spots we merge with the earth To our end homes.

Where we are when we finally go means nothing And the plot of earth is nothing to the dead From monument to forgotten plot of dirt It means nothing to those past their end

So prop up a stick and someday forget me It’s all the same Someday we’re all unmarked graves

I’m scared but there’s one thing I’ll share That everyone becomes no-one And I’ll be no-one too And there won’t be anyone left around to truly remember you But I got the most that I can get, as much as anyone I’ve been alive And I’ll be grateful until I no longer can be

to the grave

It doesn’t make me special to have a designated space for my body to lay Or a place to etch my name Someday we’re all unmarked graves When we’re all just dust drifting through space

and that’s ok

Between other stones Or decaying alone The view looks the same From our end homes

I don’t want to go But I’ll find what meaning I can find Until I join the aligned stone structures

////////

[leaf-bones]

Septennial

Calling out was never good enough, between walls No nearby ears, no sun to build me up And come fall, I’ll be immersed in the warmer shades Evidence I’m not wilting away, that I’d be unwise not to take Even with leaves of stress I just can’t shake

Only waiting for the flow to come back Now months as months have passed Bringing life and death To moments of only finding hope in a streetlight Now seven years have passed The ebb left The flow came back again

My tentativeness was for the short-term The associated color was only a shade of what occurred I now know there’s no plateau No permanent revival, stone becomes paper Here becomes there, and safe becomes danger

Further depths can be fallen to, Just to climb back out again And it never ends And it’s a reality with which to reach some kind of acceptance

And maybe it’s okay to never get “there”

When colder winds break through Warmer colors seem to come back It’s a cycle I can’t ever resist And somehow forget with each collapse

I guess this is some kind of ending And while there’s still time before the curtain’s closed I’m checking some boxes for a life that I’ve re-promised to myself Re-evaluated everything and left behind my imagined life And wound up liking what I’d find when the thoughts bloomed out

Even from this far I can see it Sickness fades, residual exhaustion But with comfort In the humid august air What I’m looking for comes closer

August is here again Its wind against my face The place I now live Feels closer to the place I built in my head Call it some kind of acceptance

I’ve seen that nothing stays the same There’s always change In the seasons and the colors they bring Crushing under my feet Scattered through dead leaves Are pieces that were once a part of me but never again And I bid good riddance

I don’t feel so rotted down I don’t feel like wilting now And I feel the sun As I bloom

[leaf-bones]

The “Months” Project

“Months” - Reflecting on the project in memories and album covers

In September of 2011 I came up with a concept for an album.

I always tended to organize my life by months, and living in an area of the world with 4 distinct seasons, the shifts in weather month to month throughout the year made each month feel even more distinct. I almost felt each month had its own unique color, synonymous with its name.

I was 17 when this project began. The basic concept was this: Write one song each month for one year. Each song will be based on the ‘feel’ that particular month brings. The lyrics would detail my thoughts and feelings I went through that month. It was late in September when the idea came to me, the first month of my senior year. I also felt it would be a great way to document my final year of grade-school.

Since September was almost over, my first song in the “Months” project was a simple song made with only MIDI instruments (piano, strings, and my personal favorite--reed organ). I intended to eventually add vocals and guitars, but in the end left it how it was by the end of September. That was the thing--I had to complete the song by the end of the month. By the 1st of the following month, no more writing lyrics, no more composing.

So my real start on the “Months” project always felt like October, and that’s why that song has always held a special place in my heart. For this album, I would name each song simply the name of the month. So the October song was called “October,” and it was track 2. Then I’d write “November” and so on. And the band name, I would decide: Rainclouds.

October began with MIDI reed organ, and did just what I intended with this concept, it sounded like what I felt October sounded like. Mostly breezy and cool and a bit uplifting sounding, but shifts to moments of spookiness like my favorite holiday. This would mean December sounds cold, atmospheric, sometimes dark. I tried to recreate the feeling of being outside in the winter, when sound seems to float far away, and everything is quiet. I wrote not just of my thoughts that December, but of past Decembers, and all December meant to me.

I had written a song called “August” way before starting the months project, and had the idea to slap that song as the final track, since it was a nice coincidence to have a song named a month already. I thought it’d be nice and nostalgic to have a re-recorded old song at the end, but I ended up just seeing how much I’d grown as a songwriter since then. And that was another thing I always loved about doing the Months project: I’d see my own progress, growing as a writer, compositionally and lyrically. And I’d also see my growth as a person, and what I went through. Like a strange, strange journal.

So “July” ended up feeling like the big finale for that year. I even put an album medley at the end of the song.

I finished up the album, calling it “Changing Color” based on the lyric in October. The album cover would be a strange boxy mess of colors lined up next to each other. From left to right, the colors represented the months of the year, starting with September. The colors we what I, for whatever reason, associated with that month. I always wondered if I got the colors stuck in my brain from a calendar I had as a child, where each month had a different color scheme. I always found October to be kind of dark blue, and January to be a light light blue like ice. I wasn’t too happy with the album cover though, so I changed it after releasing the album to one that still featured the colors, but over a picture of Lake Michigan. Changing the album covers last minute, or even after release, would become something of habit with me… (“Changing Cover,” if you will).

Changing Color, 2012 (left-early cover, right-final cover)

But I didn’t want it to end. So I started the project up again with a Months #2 that September.

This time I’d name the songs like I would any other song I write, but the concept remained the same. By the end of the year I had an album I’d name “Empty Hearts & Sinking Ships” after a lyric in “Petrichor.”

This album had a cover change, just before release, and good thing too, because the original was awful. And thus would begin my constant use of trees and/or leaves in my album covers.

Empty Hearts & Sinking Ships, 2013 (left-early (bad) cover, right-final cover)

This album also would feature the longest song to ever appear in a Months album (and also the longest title I guess), “Until the Dark Dissolves: The Finale Begins When the Curtain is Closed” clocking in at 11:18.

Again, it’s amazing to see the journal that this project can be, with songs like “Petrichor” based around the first major death in my life, and “Absent from the Ocean’s Tomb” marking me gleefully detaching myself from religion at 19.

Then there was a third Months album, I knew before I even began it, for whatever reason, that it would be called “Silent Spectrum” and I ended up working that into some songs (including the closer of the same name).

This one technically had 2 changes of cover, first from probably the worst cover I’ve ever made, then to what I quickly changed it to, and the cover til long after release. Later on I changed it again when the “band” name changed from Rainclouds.

Silent Spectrum, 2014 (left-early (real bad) cover, center-rainclouds cover, right-final cover)

This Months albums at this point slowly crept away from being strictly about being modeled after the feel of a month, although they still strongly represented my thoughts and feeling during the month in which I wrote it.

“Strange Places” would be the fourth Months album, and the only with less than 12 tracks (because I ended up cutting the first 2, not being satisfied with them).

The first album cover was simple, done right in the first month, and although I planned on changing it, I did like the brighter tone it conveyed, which inspired the final cover concept. This cover was a picture of a field behind a library (the same field referenced in “The Field Behind the Library” of the 2017 EP). After a tornado that caused slightly-above-minor damage to my neighborhood, I fled to the library the next morning to experience the view, an eerie brightness and calm after a dark storm.

Strange Places, 2016 (left-early cover, right-final cover)

The logo on the right is a remnant of the artist name being Rainclouds, the logo setup itself meant to look like a rain cloud with rain falling. I’ve tended to keep the eight-forward-slash logo since it just looks cool.

The title track of Strange Places marks a point in the Months discography where I felt I was exploring a new sound, one I’d mostly stick to for the rest of the Months albums til now.

A funny trivia about track 9, “July Fourth” is that the title is simply referring to the fact that it’s the fourth “July” song in the Months project, not the holiday. I kept the title to be… ironic or something.

Also on this album is the song “Someday I’ll Finally Get ’There’” which I’ve often looked back on as my favorite song I’ve ever written.

Then comes the self-titled album, the fifth Months record. I never thought I’d do a self-titled album, but there it is. The main reason was that I wanted to consistently present a new sound on the album. When I started writing it I was releasing under the name “Rainclouds” and with the release of this album (almost one full year after finishing writing it), I decided to do a fresh start, renaming to Threadleaf, a name I’m much more proud of and better fitting the heavy leaf and tree themes in my music. This would mean the album would actually be called just that: Threadleaf.

The album cover was simple, and I knew I’d use it right near the beginning of writing. Nothing too extravagant, not with much meaning, but some that, with a little editing and light effects, gave a feel I really loved. It’s a picture of my shoe and a fancy designed carpet, some kind of brass bar obstructing part of the view. But with the bright orange light effects and the dark purplish border, the colors were really accentuated. Just another example of me caring about feel more than meaning.

Threadleaf, 2017

I wanted to continue this sound on the sixth months album, (and the newest one released as of now!) Winter Flowers. Right away with the track Hyacinth, I almost feel that song could be found on “Threadleaf.” I was happy to have a consistent sound.

But, I started to get too used to it. I’d written song after song in the format since “Strange Places” and I started to feel writer’s block, worried that the songs were sounding too same-y, too formulaic, but afraid to change it up too much and create a disjointed, uneven record.

Reasons like this are why I am temporarily ending the “Months” project, and that announcement is why I’m writing all of this…

Winter Flowers had 3 different covers before its release, first was a cover when the album had a different title. I always wanted to have a less serious sounding album name, so as something overly long and ironic I originally used the title “Unsuccessfully Growing Flowers in the Winter” which poked at the basic lyrical concept of what came to be simply, “Winter Flowers.” Realizing that not all things that are planned to come to fruition and bloom in life transpire. Dreams, relationships, places. The future I built for myself in my head simply wasn’t going to ever happen, and I learned during the writing of the album that it’s necessary to build up a new future goal to strive for than to just wallow and consider yourself dead.

The album cover then switched to a similar one with the altered title, then finally, just a month or so before release, the final cover, and one of my favorites: a pink and dark teal color schemed cover featuring a hyacinth flower. All three covers feature the window of my room in the house I grew up in—one of the last photos before I left it for good.

Winter Flowers, 2018 (left-early cover, center-title change cover, right-final cover)

Another example of Months being a journal, this album contains my most cynical of songs like Honeywort, which says “I won’t ever find what I’m looking for,” as well as more hopeful and understanding, with my favorite stanza I’ve written being this, from Involuntary Chrysalis:

“What remains of what I used to have are shards of glass that scattered, and I spent too long dwelling on the minor scapes that I’ve gathered, now that time has done some healing and what broke dispelled a song, you’ll find me contently humming and sifting through the wreckage of it all.”

And with that song ended Winter Flowers.

So I began the seventh Months project, not knowing I would make it a sort of a finale season of “Months.” Maybe there will soon be a comeback when I feel inspired. Maybe I’ll continue writing one song per month, but as a different project or concept. All I know is with these 12 songs and a seventh year, it feels like a finale for whatever reason. I don’t want an eighth album if it’s going to be more of the same. I need a fresh idea.

That being said, this seventh Months album is the one I might be most proud of, truly.

It may follow the same sound and style of the previous few, but I felt I gave it enough energy, diversion, and intent behind it for it to stand above. The songs tend towards being shorter, to the point, displaying a single idea for that particular month. I for whatever reason decided for each track title to be only one word. Maybe that has something to do with further conceptualizing the album. The challenge has been to make my meanings concise, songs more to the point, and short song titles forced me to boil down that meaning even further. Like the song title “Apricity” which says a lot about the song’s meaning in one word. Apricity, I learned while researched for the song, is a word which here means “the warmth of the sun in the winter.” Which on its own is a nice metaphor for what I felt then, in January.

The album cover is also as simple as I could make it, featuring no words, no “Threadleaf,” no album title. Simply a painting of a sliced orange. Eight purple slashes. All over a picture of a tree, of course.

I painted the orange years ago, always wanting to use it for an album cover, but never knowing just how or why. Initially I had the cover as just the painting on the canvas with an orange border. But I wanted more, I wanted… tree.

The meaning might be forced, but it makes sense to me. When I started the album I felt like, although I was young, I was way past the time in one’s life where they typically meet people, make friends, learn new things, have new experiences. Pulling a bit from Winter Flowers and described on track 2, Germinate, I felt like I was something young, growing up and escaping from the ground in the spring, but autumn came, and I never blossomed. The other flowers grew without me.

Though, I remind you, by “Apricity” my attitude shifted a bit.

Which is why, I think, behind the lonely and singular orange slice, is a bright and sunny image of the light between tree branches.

So, here it is, I’m announcing that the seventh and “final” Months album is called:

Way Past Blossoming

Anyone

Germinate

Wallmouth

Sustain

Apricity

Vibrancy

Grotto

Dayspring

Banishment

Reblossomed

Forthcoming

Septennial

Way Past Blossoming, TBA (final cover)

At the near septennial of when I started Months, with Changing Color in September of 2011, to now, writing a song called Septennial in August of 2018, I’m excited for the future and feel like I might get a chance to re-blossom, if you will. I’m about to start college again, aiming for a bachelors degree and a specific career in mind.

I don’t know exactly when I’ll finish Way Past Blossoming, hopefully sooner rather than later. I don’t know what will become of “Months” or what my music will become once September comes. I want to try new things. I have a couple in mind, such as reviving the politically driven “It doesn’t have to stay this way” concept as an EP, and making a short album based on graveyards I’ve visited called “End Homes.”

But I want the time and attention to decide what’s next. And once “Way Past Blossoming” is done, Months will be for the time being, and I’ll explore.

So, with the basic structure of the final song complete, I see the full scope of “Months” and I wanted to reflect.

And by the way, listen to all this junk at threadleaf.bandcamp.com!

I’m excited to have this 7-album concept run complete.

I don’t know when I’ll return, or what I’ll do, but maybe someday

I’ll finally get

“there.”

////////

[leaf-bones]

Forthcoming

Imagining little bits of sunlight falling through my old window I don’t think I ever processed leaving Or anything

I’m too attached to place And now it’s breaching my brain I couldn’t see this coming right in front of my face I’m too attached to place And while everyone leaves I can never get away From the urge to stay

I might be fine where I am now And alright with change But when it hit me all at once it scared me And now the bits of sunlight found me in my new place And again, I choose to stay

Right around the corner The chance I’ve been waiting to take I can never get away from the urge to stay

Everything burned down But not to ashes It burned to a shimmer And now the bits of sunlight found me in my new place And I choose to stay

[leaf-bones]

Reblossomed

Placed firmly in soil I’m confident will cooperate The landscape is measured Things all set in their right place

I’ve found relief in accepting where I am and where I’m going Sleep in the dirt Until I’m back to light again

I think I buried this in spring this time So the stems won’t decline As they show their green to the sky And not killed by cold again Reblossoming

I wasn’t grown properly When I’m in dirt again I hope it warms me I hope I’m met with light when I breach to the air again And I’m filled with sweetness

I was a bitter blossom Rotting citrus A fruit left lonely Detached from the branches

The network of greens ceasing to feed me No throat to scream or sing I was grown improperly I was way past blossoming

The summer surrounds After planting in spring The Sweet Sounds of June Reblossoming

[leaf-bones]

I am autumn on the first day of spring,

from what was planted in winter

and I won’t be bothered by the coming summer

🥀

[leaf-bones]

It's summer but it's WINTER FLOWERS. 🥀 It's the next Threadleaf album and it's out July, Friday the 13th. Each song representing a month, written from September 2016-August 2017. Here's a new single from the album, the "November" song, entitled "The Place I Once Lived" The rest will be out on iTunes/Apple Music and Spotify on July 13 here: https://threadleaf.bandcamp.com/album/winter-flowers ////////