leetaeiil

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if a 40oz of malt liquor was eraserhead baby

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screaaaammm somebody just called me a bootlicker for being annoyed that my coworker is so bad at her job thats its making everyone elses jobs way fucking harder i can never ever ever ever turn anon off

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GUESS WHO JUST FINISHED #JERKING MY #COCK

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I just know squidward squirting and farting making babies up there in his hard wooden hut what with the stone henge

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Recent favorites

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i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

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"I still can't get my kids back; with all the money and fame I still don't get to see my children" might be the funniest lyrics of all time lmao

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Everyone's like "The new Pope isnt welcoming to gay people and has covered up child abuse" like. Fork found in kitchen?

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super cali swagalistic epic hella loch ness

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FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL IT FOR YOU ONLY YOU CAN LET IT IN NO ONE ELSE NO ONE ELSE CAN SPEAK THE WORDS ON YOUR LIPS

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idk if i told the full story on here but i signed up for a research study where they were testing a new opioid, and it was supposed to be up to 5 injections increasing the dose to see what people could tolerate

i got the first dose and almost immediately fainted. they had to call in a whole medical team and it was a huge fucking deal

i was kicked out of the study and got a phone call later where they were supposed to tell me what the drug was, so i could avoid it in the future. they told me it was saline water. a placebo. i fainted from the placebo effect.

anyway, it's been a few months and i just got an email from the same department asking me to be a research participant in a new study: testing the effects of open-label placebo.

open label placebo is when the subjects and the researchers all know it's a placebo. they're testing the power of my mind. my power to imagine anything.

i like to think that they chose me for this specifically based on their past experience with me. "get the guy who fainted like a little bitch boy from saline water." anyway i just submitted all my info and i'm looking forward to getting started.

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i sleep diagonally so i wake up to a dutch angle view of my ceiling symbolising my descent into madness

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mmm oh I can't think about that or I'll die