one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become
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Sunflowers, c. 1982. Andrew Wyeth.
Watercolor and pencil on paper
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not to be overflowing with love, but I mentioned offhand to my friends once that flashing lights give me a really bad headache and now when we go into places they’ll just sit down and say ‘I’ll face this direction because there’s a light over there that you won’t like’ and actually you are seen, you are loved, and friends really do make it all worth it
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when you’ve gotten back all the grades you were expecting and there’s no more short-term validation in your immediate future
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'All theoretical constructs are inherently unobservable, and all measures are imperfect' (David Lake)
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New year, new notebook
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Patiently waiting for exactly the right moment to knock all the pieces onto the floor. Source.
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From The Winter’s Tale by William Shakespeare.
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the experience of tragedy in plays specifically because ‘maybe it will end differently this time’ feels possible. This isn’t pre-recorded. This isn’t set down in time and film. This is live, this is now, these people are real and maybe this time when they open the letter it won’t say ‘kill the messenger’. Maybe this time they get to live
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having a crush makes you so insane like that man is just Some Guy I need to go gnaw on a piece of wood
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Pushkin, St. Petersburg, 1989. Photos by Inge Morath.
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a little peace on a Saturday morning
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John Singer Sargent - Café Scene, Seville (1879)
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campus interiors in shades of brown
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idk what to tell you man, both me and my attic painting look great. Yeah no I’m just really unproblematic dude
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Emily Dickinson, from a letter to F.S. Cooper written c. February 1876
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