littlefankingdom - Tumblr blog

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: Knightfall

Bruce's suffering from burnout and cannot overcome it with meditation. Also, his panic being associated with blood and failure, because they are things he fears (blood = bleeding to death, someone dying bleeding to death because of Bruce's failure)

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: Knightfall

Tim, you lil weirdo.

He is having the time of his life showing off.

[littlefankingdom]

Justice League meets the Batfam, but they already knew about them because of Batman ranting about his kids.

In the comics, Batman has implemented that Nightwing should be in charge of the Justice League if something happened to him BEFORE he had adopted Dick (so, when his only legal son was Jason). When Dick is called to help, he learns that people think he's Batman's son because of how Batman speaks about him, and how he is proud of nothing in his life but the man Nightwing has become.

So, let's imagine the batfam thinking they are so secretive and mysterious, and "B, it's time for you to trust your friends and colleagues more", and going to the JL to officially present the Batfam, only for them to cut them and be "You're Batman's kids, everyone knows that. He doesn't shut up about you."

Bruce doesn’t realize he does it, btw. He didn’t clearly stated that they are his kids, that he is their dad, he just starts to talk about them and how proud he is, and how competent they are, and how much he cares about them, when the discussion seems appropriate to do so. But for the rest of the JL, Batman talks about three things: the mission, his kids, and his interests if you are close and it's useful rn (him starting to rant about dinosaurs to Hal when they face dinosaurs is cute). They probably tell new recruits "Batman may seem scary, but he is really just a protective dad. Soon enough, you will hear about his kids".

[littlefankingdom]

[setting up Bruce's social media]

Bruce: I've already set my account and not to toot my own bugle, but I think I did an admirable job.

Stephanie: Oh, okay, what's your handle? I'll be your first follower.

Bruce: It's @4261746d616e. It spells Batman in hexadecimal code. It's clever, right?

Duke: B, are you sure you wouldn't like some help with this?

Bruce: Oh, no need. Now, for my first tweet. I think I should give an update on the water main break that's actually informative.

Bruce, typing: "Gotham City H2O-main SITREP: at 20:40 EDT current PSI 456, max cap 20400 LPM."

*Batcomputer dings*

Bruce: Oh, look at that, an alert. I'm probably trending already.

Bruce: What? My account has been deactivated?

Stephanie: Twitter thinks you're a bot.

Bruce: Why? I'm a human. I'm a human male.

[littlefankingdom]

“Bruce Wayne’s superpower is money” Bruce Wayne’s superpower is the ability to actively have a full-fledged panic attack and still look Superman himself dead in the eye without any of his vitals changing. Heart rate is a solid 60 BPM. You can’t even see him breathing. Put some respect on my man’s name.

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: Knightfall

Bruce presents Jean-Paul to Tim, so he takes him on patrol and Bruce can rest. But Bruce passes out on the stairs, and is found later by Alfred.

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: Knightfall

I often read in fanfic that Alfred is the one against costumes upstairs, but it's actually Bruce!

Also, Tim going "If you are being a bitch, I'm not coming" killed me. "Batman needs a Robin, but if he's annoying, he can do it alone."

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: Knightfall

Bruce, I'm begging, go to a shrink.

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: Knightfall

Aftermath of the Black Mask's case, Bruce is exhausted. The beginning of the end.

[littlefankingdom]

Omg he's literally her father.

[littlefankingdom]

Me: Please, let a woman and man interact without having them kiss/have a romantic relationship.

Canon: Sike, they're kissing.

Me: No! Let men and women have platonic relationships, please!

Fandom: Hey, we fixed it!

Me: Really?

Fandom: Yeah! Instead of characters having a romantic/sexual relationship only with all the characters of the opposite sex they interact with, we also make them have a romantic/sexual relationship with anyone of the same sex they interract with!

Me: ... That's the same issue. That's still some amanormative bs, you just took the "hetero" part out.

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: Knightfall

Alfred: I perceive his motive more as compassion than revenge.

A new one for the "stuffs to throw at DC writers" collection.

Also, Bruce being emo af. "The Sions Family crypt. Nowhere else to go and I feel dead anyway."

[littlefankingdom]

I'm sorry, this is making me crazy.

Batman talks so much about Nightwing, how great he is and how much he trusts him that people just assume he is his father. Like, Batman, the man that is very secretive and doesn't like to speak much to others, just cannot stop himself from talking about how much he is proud of his boy to random people. The whole hero community is like "Yeah, Nightwing, Batman's son" while they cannot communicate about their feelings for each other.

WHAT. FATHER? NO. WHAT? HE’S NOT. WE’RE NOT. HE’S NOT MY.

why, did he say he was my dad? 🥺

— the Dick Grayson guide to having a totally normal conversation about your totally normal relationship with your estranged, secret-identity-shielded, and presumed-dead dad legal guardian who refused throughout your entire relationship to learn how to adequately express his feelings towards you via words or actions and thus drove you away because you were never sure of what you really were to him bc also haha btw despite being his first, you’re the only kid he took in that he never got around to actually legally adopting and despite the fact that it’s been years since you left, he’s made no real effort to reach out to repair your relationship, but OH BY THE WAY apparently he set up a dead man’s switch in the event that the entire JLA all vanished into thin air overnight that has left you in complete control of an ENTIRELY NEW Justice League who have all been informed via postmortem Batskype that they have been Batselected and that you (Dick Grayson, ex-circus kid and Normal Human Man) are to be entrusted with complete authority over this group of unknown superheroes, that your orders are to be followed without hesitation, that you are hyper-competent, and that there’s no one else in the world Batman trusts more to lead a team of complete strangers to success as the new JLA. ALL THIS FROM THE MAN WHO LIVES LITERALLY ACROSS A RIVER FROM YOU AND CAN HACK INTO ANY PHONE LINE TO TALK OR BREAK INTO ANY SECRET HIDEOUT TO LEAVE LIKE. A NOTE. A FUCKING NOTE BRUCE WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR. I LIVE IN A WALKUP APARTMENT FOR GOD’S SAKE. MY ADDRESS IS IN THE PHONEBOOK, BRUCE. — JLA 73

[littlefankingdom]

(Inspired by this video)

Bruce: I love when people say "aw you look like your ward". Obviously, I look like my ward, that's my son. There was no adoption process here, I birthed him. We have the same DNA, they took my bone marrow, or whatever. He's 100% me. I went into labor.

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: Knightfall

A new kind of religious trauma just dropped: getting hypnotized all your childhood by your father to serve as a vessel for the Angel of death, Azrael, for a catholic order.

Also, Jean-Paul joined the batfam because of Alfred. Alfred went "We cannot let that lad be hypnotized to kill people!", told him to fight it and help him save Bruce, and then dropped the kid (he is a student at Gotham U, he is young) on Bruce.

[littlefankingdom]

I feel like bc Bruce Wayne is a philanthropist one of his various charities would help fund gender affirming care given that it’s life saving and he has too much money to get rid of and there would probably be a lot of jokes online that are like “Bruce Wayne himself gave me top surgery” or “just got my ffs done at the Wayne manor”

[littlefankingdom]

Flash/Barry Allen: I'm the fastest man alive. (Except that anyone with superspeed, his family, his friends, his enemies, are faster than him...)

Superman/Clark Kent: I'm the last Kryptonian. (Except for some family's members, some clones, a dog(?), some enemies, some folks from alternative universe staying around...)

Batman/Bruce Wayne: I work alone. (Except that he has the biggest family of the franchise, and the majority of them helps him, he works with multiple superheroes teams, and he cannot stop showing up in other people's stories.)