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liyahmackenzie · 9 months ago

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This is Not a Foam Cup

A "short book" verbose crappost about turning a foam cup into a modern art piece.

Foreword

Job interviewers around the globe ask the same ol’ question: “How can you sell me this pen?” This book is an answer to a variant of that question. The following chapters are part comedy, part art, and part showmanship, all stemming from what can be done with a simple foam cup. Why would you want to read what is effectively a verbose meme, a play on the famous “This is not a pipe” art piece? The same reason you’d take a second glance at that painting: it’s a novel take on something you’ve seen thousands of times, and you’ll likely finish this book with a deeper understanding of art and its effects on society. Someone who failed that “sell me a pen” test could have done wonders in the position they were seeking, and conversely someone who passed it could be totally inept at everything else. Regardless of where you lie on the spectrum, keep reading to improve your odds of winning a boss’ heart. This book isn’t meant to jeer at abstract artists or decry some seemingly simple works of art. It’s made to convey how the words that explain what the art is, is art itself. Even if there are no words attached to the art piece, silence is art. It’s all art. It’s just the label and the words that make the difference between a crumpled napkin and 20 grand. Someone wanted it. Someone will have it. Thus we begin the show.

An Art Exhibit From Scratch

Making a thing! Clean up your own mess after sipping that Joe from your foam cup! Peel at the cup so you make a neat spiral thing-a-ma-jig. Congratulations: you have just created a unique art piece worth thousands of dollars! You could be enjoying a nice Bordeaux on a yacht a month from now. That is, if you can sell it to the right person. You also have to possess the right interpersonal skills. I know you can do it. If some guy can trade a paper clip all the way to a house, then you can make a living by creating something from basically nothing. I could easily end the book here and say “thank you for your eyeballs”, but that would be antithetical to my message. Instead, I want to take you on a long trip through your mindscape, time and space, to show you the power of verbosity, art, irony, and showmanship. I will give examples of combining those concepts to completely wow your audience. Here we have it: a new art piece made from our idea. And an audience of eight billion people. Before you meet those people, though, you must venture deep into your mind to see how you can best express yourself. To sell the cup, you have to gain a personal grasp of it. You may even be hesitant to sell it by then.

Why Did You Save It?

Giving life to the inanimate. Ask yourself: why did you save this particular (not-a) cup from the garbage? Why not another cup? Be honest. If it was just for the money, go ahead and say it. Your words are what sell this cup. Just don’t stop there. Never give up. Admire the cup and think of its positive attributes. Love it like a farmer loves his crops. Remember that you are a field yourself, a field that was tilled and seeded. Someone who was cultivated into a functional human. A field isn’t cultivated by itself but rather comes from farmers who tend to it. Much like a field, it is up to you to give the cup a life of its own. Don’t let it go fallow as it slowly decays. Tell yourself: “it’s meant for something greater than that”. Someone saved you from natural dangers when you were a tyke. Now you saved a piece of foam from being dumped in the landfill. You’re paying it forward by seeing the art in the trash and sharing your findings with others. It took another human to design the book you’re reading. Someone had to come up with the concept of book binding. All art. It’s up to you to recognize the art in everything, and by that point, you can easily express your appreciation for a cup you’d otherwise have no feelings about. You must convey that there is something about it that gives it life and meaning beyond sitting there and being drunk out of.

Your Art is for Good

Being ethical in the eve of disaster. You could have been a god of destruction, but you chose to stay peaceful. The cup may be inanimate, but with a person who has read the right (or wrong) books, it can be used as a component for napalm. Your mind, your conscience: it’s beautiful no matter what you’re going through. It’s art. And your conscience, channeled through your physical being, is responsible for creating a masterpiece out of a simple cup. Your creative power was made manifest as you tore away at the edges of the cup. You breathed life into a thing by making it unusable for its intended purpose. But you made it shine in doing so. This statement is for the better or worse. Just as how art can be made in construction, it is also made in destruction. Take Pablo Picasso’s famous piece Guernica for example: it depicts the bombing of a Spanish city in the midst of a civil war. It reminds us that we are not just artists. We are living art, and even the cries of a dying populace make that known. “What are you selling in that cup of yours, that ripped up piece of foam?” You are selling a life that unraveled when you molded it into a new creation. It’s not a cup. It’s not just a personified cup. It’s a life gone tragically triumphant. Its new life has the scars, scratches, and stains of its former self. But it still has a kind spirit. That’s what this not-a-cup truly is. You gave it life in its mangling. Without you, it would not be truly alive. Your surgery gave it a refreshed look on existence.

Physical Touches

Giving your piece some character. You can tinker with the cup to give it extraordinary qualities, rather than it being a plain and extra ordinary object. There’s a great array of possibilities to set the piece from the others, including scratches and bends. Choose one that you think suits the qualities of the art’s personality. Clothe it with a sheet if you must, but if you really want to go Hard Mode, do not attach anything like googly eyes to the cup. Your cup may have a hard time slipping into a dress, but I can’t stop you. I’m just a girl who’s typing away in the late hours. Come on, I know you can accomplish anything. Figure out what feelings you wish to share with others, so it could be a conversation starter. Imagine a multimillionaire buying it just because it brings them joy. That’s what we’re all aiming for, right? At least to enjoy, and not for some spooky tax fraud or something like that. You may choose to have its physical nature be similar to yours, but you may also find it interesting to make it in a way that represents an emotion, friend, or even another object. What fun! This cup has literally infinite possibilities. So go ahead and keep on keeping on. I’ll be cheering you on all the way to the bank.

Selling the Craze to the Sane

Extraordinary or extra ordinary? This cup of yours now has a mind and life of its own. What would the rest of the world think of it? To sell this cup, you’d have to sell it to yourself first. Get into the idea that your creation is a person, or at least like a pet. Think about what an “average person/pet” would do. Many people have some sort of social media. Think about what that cup would say online. And as each social media platform has its own quirks, ask yourself how your cup would navigate the sites. It’s a comforting thought experiment. Would it be one to share inspirational quotes, or would it just make its own memes and spread them in an effort to go viral? It’s all up to your mindscape. Let it all out so the cup can soak it all in. It’s vital that you understand why you molded that cup’s personality in the way you did. You can learn something about yourself by examining the way you pondered about the social media exercise. You could use that knowledge to better understand your mind and tune it to a potential buyer’s wavelength. You aren’t required to give a 50-page report on the cup’s attributes to the potential buyer, but it’s handy to remember the nitty-gritty. If you memorize it enough and feel an actual connection to your creation, that feeling would come off as appealing to anyone interested (or not interested) in your piece. Don’t feel frustrated if you can’t memorize everything, or even if you can’t make something up. Keep a journal and inspiration will strike all of a sudden. Give that cup a dose of life-giving energy. It no longer holds coffee, but it can hold all your thoughts and cares. You may think that is going too far, and you would be completely reasonable in saying so. However, you’re in it to make a life out of nothing. You are Frankenstein, and this piece of foam is your Modern Prometheus. A sprinkle of care here, a dash of love, a hint of scratch marks. That’s the character of a cup. Friend your cup on Facebook and post pictures of it everywhere. Feel free to even edit it on top of the Eiffel Tower if you’re adventurous and technically savvy enough. Give it personality to the point it’s a part of your lifestyle. Sell your time in exchange for good memories with what is essentially a poor man’s stuffed animal. The hilarious part is that you can even create multiple personas for multiple foam cups… Okay, that’s going too far. You must sell this insanely mundane object to the (usually) completely sane customer, not create an entire ecosystem out of something that ironically destroys the environment. I apologize for going this far. But I’m not sorry enough to stop writing this book, haha. The point is: the art is in your mind, and you’re projecting it through your voice and charm. You need to win the customer over through a series of tactics. Whatever fallacy is your cup of tea: the bandwagon, testimonials, fear of missing out, and so on. Every bit helps in the battle towards selling that cup of yours. Don’t sell yourself short. Sell with pizzazz.

Buying or Biting

Either way, reel them in. There will always be a potential customer looking to purchase good art, and it’s your job to make the piece, fall in love with it, and sell it to a good home. That takes cunning, tact, and good social skills. Break out of your shell and open a friendly dialog with the client. That’s half the battle for most people. The other half is actually landing the deal. Confidence in your training is key. You know everything about your companion you are going to sell. You’re their best friend. You’ve done everything together. Feel it and feel loved. Feel successful. Use everything under your belt to figure out how to strategically reel them into actually buying your stuff. Don’t let any emotional attachment get you down; there are more foam cups in the sea. Wait… that’s actually horrible. Anyways, you’ll do fine. Be masterful in your approach. Be concise and show your creativity to them. Explaining the innate details of a piece not only captivates the audience, but it also encourages them to ask more questions. The more questions answered – the more likely they will actually buy it. You’d do so well.

Closing

Congratulations!

Congratulations on completing this short book on how to sell a mundane foam cup. If upcycling were this fun, we’d all be doing it all the time. I’d definitely buy a cup from you (not really). I hope you learned a little bit on how to make things more verbose and why it’s important to sometimes personify the art you make. This was a short exercise, but I know it made me appreciate art more. I hope it did that to you too.

#crappost #foam #styrofoam #recycling #upcycling #making art

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