logan-is-noggin

[logan-is-noggin]

YES YESSSS

capybara #148: deep in the hundred acre woods...

[logan-is-noggin]

Sandwich

[logan-is-noggin]

[logan-is-noggin]

So in 1988, Disney channel released the new adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

This series lasted for four seasons. Then in 2001, the book of Pooh, a puppetry based TV show.

If you pay attention, there are stories lines that are used in both shows. For example " piglets poohatry" shows piglet trying to share a poem he wrote but Tigger keeps changing it.

And in " biglet" piglet is upset about his short size and wishes he was bigger. His friends help to make him seem bigger

[logan-is-noggin]

Beneath these wings: chapter 7

Summary: Roman and Virgil have a long-awaited conversation.

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the pounding in virgils forehead seemed to be in sync with the pulsing of the heart monitor. That's what initially pulled him back into consciousness. the room was dim, the lights on his side of the room were off but the other half and the doorway into the hall were on and open. his neck cracked as he turned to look around. footsteps came closer and Virgil was ready to see Logan's worried face, but instead, he saw... Romans?

" what.. wheres" virgils voice was dry, so roman grabbed the plastic cup of water and held it out for him to take. after he set it down and deeply breathed for a minute, followed by a yawn " what are you doing here?" he asked. there wasnt any hate in his voice but genuine curiosity.

" Actually, logan called me. after you were taken back. He's really worried about you. so was I." he admitted.

virgil frowned and his fist slammed down on the bed in a huff. " im so stupid! and weak. I can't do anything right, im so fucking defective, i-"

roman grabbed at his arm and forced Virgil to meet his gaze. " hey! you're not defective. sure, you handled your trauma this way and it's going to take time for you to unlearn it all. but remember that just cause you slip up once in a while isn't the end of the world."

"but it could!" Virgil slapped his hand over his mouth, realizing that the words came out louder than they probably should, given the early hour.

" it could be the end. if I hadn't called logan? I would have bled out on the bathroom floor. " he wiped his eyes as tears fell. he shook his head as he tried to rid the thoughts of his husband finding his body on the bathroom floor.

" where- where is he? " Virgil asked after he calmed himself. " I lent him my car. I told him to go home, just to clean up and get some sleep, but I doubt he'd rest with you here. " Virgil nodded. agreeing that even when they weren't in a crisis logan would stay up late hours on a usual basis.

" Did he tell you about what happened? " he tried to avoid looking at roman, now feeling like he overreacted to such a minuscule thing

" he did, but you can tell me your side if you want." he shrugged

Virgil shook his head " I just feel so stupid. we only had ivy for three months."

" that makes no difference, you're clingy to start with, vee, and animals have a way of getting us to love them like that " he snapped his fingers.

I know you feel you didn't handle things well, but when someone is in the heat of the moment, we don't always take time to think things through."

virgil slumped in the bed but nodded.

romans phone buzzed and he answered it. " hey, yeah he's awake. " he saw Virgil sit up more in the bed. but Roman didn't hand the phone over as he expected. " okay, ill tell him, see you soon." he put the phone down and informed, "he's on his way back."

Virgil slumped a bit " he didn't want to talk to me?" he asked

" im sure he did, but he was driving. he's probably thinking of speeding to get back to you" roman offered.

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they were silent for a moment but then Virgil got the courage to ask " did you ever notice? when we were together? what i was doing?"

roman sighed as he sat down, water welling in his eyes but he blinked them away " no. I didn't, not until the first time you were brought here. and I hate myself for not noticing. I know why you did, cause you never felt good enough for me, but why didn't you ever tell me you were hurting?"

Virgil frowned " because back then, I didn't think you would care. honestly, I just thought you dating me was one of your 'charity stunts' as you called them. and that if I said anything about being the least bit unhappy, that you'd dump me then and there and i-" he held himself "I didn't want to be alone. at the time, id rather be miserable than have no one"

Roman opened his mouth to respond, but a nurse knocked at the door and they both turned. the nurse came in followed by logan. virgil smiled involuntarily. logan nodded to roman as he handed back his keys." thanks. for everything." roman turned back to Virgil, he wanted to tell him that 'no, he wasnt dating him for charity, that he truly loved him...' but it wasnt the time to say that, not anymore. " I guess ill talk to you guys later," he said as he turned and left.

logan and Virgil sat in silence while the nurse checked his blood pressure and drew some blood. " im sorry, that I wasnt here when you woke up."

"It's alright lo-" his voice started growing thick. " we shouldn't even be here again. im so stupid! I wasnt thinking!"

" Shhh, shh love, don't blame yourself. what you did, how you respond to being upset is ingrained through mental trauma, you cant expect it to be resolved quickly, I don't mean to be blunt, but you could be dealing with symptoms your whole life."

virgil nodded, " picani mentioned that. but I still hate that I did this to me, and you. all because of an animal I knew for, what? a few months at most?"

logan took virgils hands in his and kissed his forehead. " love, you gave Ivy a home and made her feel safe and loved. That's all any pet would want out of life. the fact that hers was cut tragically short is out of our control. but while we had her, you, and admittedly, I thrived. I've seldom seen you happier when we three were together. im sorry that my moving her things out of sight triggered you,"

the sun was just beginning to rise and Virgil yawned into his sleeve. " you need some rest, we both do." Virgil attempted to scoot over in his hospital bed to make room but Logan shook his head " I don't think the staff would like that very much." logan ended up moving the armchair closer to the bed so Virgil could at least hold his hand while he fell asleep.

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breakfast came and went and logan had called Patton and parker to explain the situation to them, though Virgil winced every time Patton mentioned coming home early. " you two need your time together, don't let my stupidity ruin your vacation. to which Patton started off. " im going to fight you if you keep talking down about yourself Mr sanders."

the doctor came in and logan and Virgil said their goodbyes. " - it is a precaution we take with cases like virgils. he's been to the er, admitted twice this month for self-inflicted wounds. its ultimately up to Virgil, but our recommendation is that he seek inpatient treatment at a psychiatric facility." the doctor handed Virgil a pamphlet " this is a place we work closely with that is the closest in our county, but there are other options I can call if you prefer." with that, the doctor left them to discuss.

" Really? im not insane, they really want to lock me up?" logan placed a hand on his husband's shoulder. " it's not like that, virge, treatment facilities are a lot more humane than what people say. It's just so you can get around-the-clock care and treatment, these doctors would be much more suited to help you find better ways of coping than dr picani or I could."

virgil flipped through the page, showing a picture of what looked like a courtyard, and a small library, attendants smiling, posed.

" but I would be away from you for so long. I don't know if I could handle it."

" you would get to call me a few times a week, and we could set it up I could make sure our friends are with me so you can speak with them as well. I believe you could really benefit."

virgil flipped back and forth through the booklet, sighed, and nodded " ill do it. for you."

Read chapter 8 ->

[logan-is-noggin]

Villians Advocate

Summary: during a movie night, Remus crashes the party

Another friday night had come, and the light sides had gathered in the living room for their weekly movie night. A few weeks ago, their DVD player had broken down and Patton's copy of sleeping beauty had gotten stuck and wouldn't play. In an attempt to save the night, Patton stood at the center and told the story, as people did before tv and radio. He even gave everyone a role in the story. Everyone enjoyed it so much that they continued to tell stories of their favorite fairytales and disney movies. It sort of became a new tradition. Logan and Roman had taken turns being the storyteller- they told cinderella and the swan princess. Virgil and even janus had shown interest of telling a tale of their own in the future.

Remus never really showed up for the movie nights, although Patton, with some persuading from Janus, had extended an invitation, promising he'd be welcome, Remus knew they were all more relieved when he didn't. he knew because he often slinked around the edges of his mind and listen to them have their fun. But this movie night would be different since the green creative got an idea.

Remus sauntered into the living room, his morning star holstered in his belt, one of the spikes nearly whacking Roman on the knee. " do you have to wear that everywhere?" Remus turned on a heel and gave his brother a toothy grin " who knows when someone will need a good morning smack! although it's almost nighttime. maybe I should get an evening star?"

Janus appeared from the kitchen " Remus! no weapons. you're not in the imagination" Patton appeared next to him with two bottles of sodas. " oh, hiya kiddo. Are you here for movie night? we're watching Tangled." Janus continued " you can stay and watch the movie with us but only if you behave." Remus rolled his eyes. " then its a good thing im not staying."  Virgil had sat on the couch arm next to Roman " then what do you want." Remus coughed a high pitched bark of a laugh. " ooh romaine, you better get a handle on your emo. " to which roman and Virgil flushed as red as Roman's sash. at the same time, they shouted " HES/IM NOT MY/HIS EMO!" Remus and Janus laughed and even Logan cracked a smile that  he hid behind his book. " well if you don't plan on staying for the duration of the movie, how can we help you?" Logan asked. " well, i had heard you lot had been putting your own twist on your bare-ly tales like an extra bloody blood orange. I figure id give it a shot in the butt!" he said crossing his arms. Roman jumped off the couch " Nonsense, our retellings always follow the story arc, the hero is triumphs and the villains are vanquished." he said while striking a princely pose. Remus rolled his eyes as he shoved Romans foot off of the couch, causing him to almost lose his balance. " that. that sound more boring than the routine of life. also, its completely unfair to the villains" by then, everyone else had drifted into the room.

" I mean- they're villains, They cursed the princesses, kept them locked in towers, some of them even kill the characters! There's no justifying their behavior."

Remus smiled wide and with a twitch of his mustache, " challenge accepted" He snapped his fingers. The whole room blacked out, there were also a few gasps plus a recognizable scream that Remus laughed at. " turn the lights back!" Roman demanded. with another snap, the lights did return, but low-lit along with a screen and projector set up as Remus stood before his captive audience. " alright, snores and bores- and Janni-" he wiggled his fingers in a wave to his fellow Darkside. " you're all about to learn a lesson. Time to play a game I like to call, Villians Advocate."

Remus clicked the remote behind his shoulder, all while keeping eye contact with the group and the screen lit up to show sleeping beauty in her bed, but instead of peacefully sleeping, her skin was grayed and her eyelids were almost see-through, showing thin veins in both red and blue. next to her on the split screen showed maleficent, posed regally with her pet raven diablo perched on her staff.

" the mistress of all evil. who can share with the class what maleficent is known for?" " she cursed aurora," Roman answered quickly, freeing his need to show his expertise in all things, Disney. " yep." Remus agreed " she cursed the princess when she was a baby. totally badass."

Patton scoffed. " how? she was a baby, she couldn't defend herself!" " of course not, let's assume the king and queen have known about Maleficent and her powers over all darkness. you would think they would treat her with more respect. less she gets bitter for not being invited to a baby's presentation. if they were to show up at Mal's castle with an invitation personally, she could have given little Rosie the sickest gift ever! something way more useful than beauty or singing."

Roman fell back against the couch acting offended as the others rolled their eyes at the display. Janus spoke up " I actually agree with you. being excluded from events is enough for anyone to turn evil." Logan made a note in his book he pulled out when Remus began, being fond of a good PowerPoint presentation. Remus clicked the remote again, and the image changed.

"Be Prepared!" Roman broke out into song, while Janus swung his crook just as Roman ducked. " don't interrupt" Janus hissed. that just earned him an eye roll.

" Exactly!" Remus announced. " Scars sins include fratricide as well as attempted nephew murder, oh and the almost extinction of a whole ecosystem." Roman sat on the edge of his chair as he asked " so how would you positively swing this one? bother O' mine?"

Remus cackled at the nickname " with a little animal science!" oh, know-gan…" Remus called in an off-tune sing-song voice. The logical side had been paying attention the whole time and simply placed his notepad on his lap.

" when it comes to the kings of the jungle-"

" Actually, lions live in the open plains of the Sahara. if taken literally, Bengal tigers would be considered " kings" of the jungle, although wild beasts have no sense of hierarchy."

Everyone, except for Patton groaned and Remus flitted his mustache " Can we stick to the topic, deep blue? I want to know what the color of a lion's mane has to say regarding their health." logan nodded and adjusted his glasses " typically, lions with the darker mane are considered more healthy and have a higher strength,"

" and we all know who has the darker mane in this feature…"

" that still doesn't excuse what he did to his family" Patton countered. "that's where your wrong pity- Patton. once again, it comes to the parents' fault!" he pulled out a book that he was obviously reading upside-down. " Ahadi and Uru had two cubs. They named them Mufasa, which loosely translates to King and Taka. meaning waste, or garbage. and in my humblest opinion.." " doubtful-" Janus sighs, but Remus ignored. " If his parents had trusted him with the responsibility, he could have been a great king. but we'll never know because they're all dead!" he said cackling.

" Can we just move on, we still have a movie to watch after this." Remus cracked his knuckles and grinned wide. " okey dokey, let's have a speed round"

so the sides started to fire off villain names and Remus gave his retorts.

" Captain hook?" asked Patton- " peter pan literally kills the lost boys if they grew up. I would hold a grudge against him too."

" Ursula?" Virgil said. " 1. she is the sibling of king Trident and daughter of Poseidon. That makes her a princess, 2, she was kicked out of Atlantica for who knows what. 3. when her niece comes to her for legs so she could run away, Ursula could have given her goat legs. but she didn't. she got legs that matched her body. " then why did she try and sabotage her after helping her? it was all a motive to steal the crown." Roman fired back.

" BECAUSE- she, like trident, knew what a horrible place the human world could be, she was trying to protect her family. it's not her fault ariel was too dumb to sign a contract she didn't even read." " fine! that actually- makes sense" Roman pouted. which made Remus happy. Logan added more notes to his book.

"at the beginning of the movie, mother Gothel says herself, she found the glowing flower first, just growing in the ground. It was free for anyone to use. she didn't try to dig it up, she only hid it a bit. I'll bet if someone else asked to use it, she would let them as long as it stayed available for her to use. but the king had to dig it up and destroy it to make tea. that is very selfish of him. isn't it Patton?" Remus smirked.

At this point, janus was beginning to get what Remus was trying to do and decided to join in.

" what about Dr. Facilier? surely voodoo and black magic couldn't have a positive outlook"

"that's where you're wrong, Jan-Jan the snake man!" Remus smiled to himself at the nickname. "the shadow man must have noticed how poorly Naveen was treating his servant Laurence. if you think about it, turning the prince into a frog helped everyone, at least for a while. it gave Laurence a chance to live in the limelight, while it gave Naveen a lesson that you can't depend on wealth to sail through life. it also led to his happy ever after" he gagged a bit on the words. " and he still got killed after all that."

" but he stepped on Ray the firefly!" Patton moaned. Remus was about to counter but Logan stepped in " fireflies only live for a month and a half."

Patton then jumped up from the couch "But what about the person who killed Bambi's mom?" Remus pursed his lips and shrugged " alright, let's work this out like a constipated mathematician." Remus laughed as everyone else groaned and even gagged.  "it was winter when momma bambino was" Remus made a throat-slitting motion.  Patton winced  " and know how food was scarce for all the little critters? Any humans living nearby could also be struggling to find food." Patton lowered his gaze as he thought." the big, bad, hunter could have had a family to feed. most people who hunt don't do it just for the immense fun of it" he said with a glint in his eye.

"It's easy to call anyone the villain when you're looking at the right, or in this case, the wrong perspective. except for Cruella, bat-shit crazy, and love for skinning puppies! what a woman," Remus said as roman snapped the living room back to normal. " was there a point to any of that?" Virgil asked, rubbing his eyes to the sudden explosion of brightness." Nah," he shrugged his shoulders. janus held a finger up" except maybe be more aware who you call a villain in the future. just because they look bad to you, might not be bad to someone else."

roman was the first to break the awkward silence. " well, I have to go make more popcorn since Someone ate it all" roman glared over at Virgil. " what? it was entertaining to watch your brother best you in a Disney debate."

logan nodded as the group dispersed "I agree. well done Remus. that was a well-thought-out lecture. it was almost logical."

[logan-is-noggin]

The meaning of family- chapter 6

Summary: Virgil stays with Patton's family as he adjusts to his new situation. but there are its ups and downs

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patton explained that he and Remy, his brother-in-law would have to share their single guest room while Remy was staying with them, the bed was also a king, so Virgil didn't seem to mind. remy was very easy to like, he was sassy, genuine and the type of omega that would beat someone up to defend you. they stayed up late talking that night, Virgil trusting him to reveal that he was trans.

" you pass really well actually. well if it wasnt for the cringy hack job you got there" he smirked wagging a finger at virgils hair. that made virgil consiously tug at the ends " i was under alot of stress, i didnt exactly have time to style it hiding behind a bush" he ereplied a bit harshly.

" easy babe, im just teasing. y'know if you want, i could take you to get it fixed. maybe get you some clothes too, cant live off of the few outfits you probably packed."

virgil's eyes widened " really?" then he quickly shook his head " you dont have to do that, i dont want to be a burden, its more than enough what patton and logan have done, letting me stay here and all." but remy waved it off. "nonsense. you say when and we'll go. i'll leave it up to you." he said as he turned over to sleep."

virgil laid in bed staring into the darkness thinking how it got to this, him laying in a strangers bed, having the nicest people hes met looking after him. but that made him think of his parents. but he didnt let his thoughts linger, they didnt deserve it, virgil figured.

two days after, patton took virgil to work with him, he had taken the day inbetween off so he could get to know virgil better. they drove around a bit so virgil could get to know the neighborhood, remy promised to show him the good places later, they all laughed.

patton had arranged an emergcy appointment for virgil, pulling strings so he could be his obgyn. virgil couldnt believe his luck.

he followed him down the hallway into a darker room. " have you ever had an ultrasound before virgil?" he asks as he typed something in the computer. virgil shook his head, " well thats not a problem. this kind of ultrasound is completely painless." he smiled and patted the reclined chair. " hop up on here and we'll take a look."

virgil climbed on the bed as patton adjusted it. he was asked to lift his shirt and lower his pants enough to expose his stomach. as he applied a clear gel and swirled the flat wand over the area, virgil stared at the screen fixed on the wall. soon a gray field appeared and a circle of black at its center, and in the circle a small gray lump.

patton clicked at the keyboard every so often and recorded the images. " i know its not much to look at right now, but there it is." he said. " from the information you gave me eariler, and the size here, id say your about 3 weeks along. and so far, everything looks normal."

he took the transducer away and handed virgil a white towel. he pointed out the bathroom ensuite so virgil could clean up while he finished entering the data

virgil shut the door and started cleaning the gel away. before, the appointment, he had considered asking patton if he could still opt out of this whole thing. he was no where ready to be a parent, and he definately didnt want to expose a child to the likes of his parents. but he felt something when he saw the tiny blob on the screen, moving slightly whenever he did. he felt a connection he didnt expect. he still had more thinking to do, but that could wait.

he came out a few moments later, grabbing the hoodie he had taken off when patton returned " remy should be by to pick you up since i have to stay and work. you remember how to get back out front? i can take you back" he offered. but virgil shook his head. " no thanks, i remember. thanks again patton."

" just doing my job kiddo. ill see you boys at home." as virgil turned out of the room, his chest warmed. he wasnt used to people actually addressing him by his prefered gender. he had to quickly blink away the tears threatning to form as he made his way back outside. a beep pulled him out of his head as he spotted remy waving him over from the car, he jogged over and climbed into the passenger seat.

"I know I said id leave it up to you, but im done looking at your bird's nest of a do," he smirked as he pulled out of the lot. as Remy drove, Virgil tried to remember the image of the fetus in his head. " so what does it look like? does it have your nose?" Remy joked. they laughed. " it didnt look like much." Virgil admitted. that'll change. do y'know if you're gonna keep it or not? patty always says the sooner the better."

" im - torn " Virgil admitted. remy just nodded, not wanting to push him further. they just listened to music as they drove. when they got into the mall, Virgil noticed it wasnt the same mall that was in his town. " I figured you wouldn't want to risk being recognized. luckily there was another strip. Francis is a better stylist anyway." they entered the mall and Remy beelined Virgil to a corner shop framed in wooden panels with the name above the threshold "Shear Bliss" Virgil tested the name. but Remy was already talking to the woman at the desk " my brother here is in dire need of a new look." Virgil overheard as he caught up. his heart fluttered a bit. once again, he wasnt adjusted to how easily people were respecting his pronouns.

" ill be back before you're done. I gotta get a few things, you want a coffee?" Virgil gave him his order, which Remy almost shuddered when he ordered a refresher and not a coffee. " im sure Patton would say someone in ' my condition' cant drink caffeine" he rolled his eyes as he left Virgil

he walked through the mall to target and immediatly went to starbucks. after getting two coffees for himself and a pink drink for virgil, he grabbed a cart and went to work.

virgil was being let out of the chair when remy came up the mall court with the red cart, the dwindling tray of drinks resting in the child seat. virgils eyes widened as he spotted several bags in the cart. remy held out the drink to virgil as he passed him to pay the stylist.

" please tell me you got yourself somethings too?"

" i did." he shook his half empty cup

"that is not what i meant." he groaned  they left the mall, virgil helped carry the three bags into remys trunk.

" you're gonna need to get used to people treating you like a human who deserves things as basic as clothes." "I have clothes-" he countered " maybe at your house, that you ran away from. and let me guess, you have a closet filled with dresses and skirts your mom bought her daughter that disappeared when Virgil was born, right?" Virgil simply slumped

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remy and virgil spent the afternoon going through remys haul. after questioning how remy knew his sizes without asking, because they were all near perfect and some were a bit bigger. virgil held a sports bra looking article up to the mirror. " its a binder. for people who cant get top surgery to flatten their chest."

virgil went into the bathroom to change into it. because even though remy was gay and said he didnt care, virgil wasnt that comfortable around these people yet.

" its really tight" he gasped when he came back in. " thats the point. gotta be tight to bind everything. i also got you a full tank version, some people like those better."

once he changed they went downstairs to see logan in the kitchen starting dinner. the news playing in the background. " would you like any help?" he asked, he felt like hed like to be as much help as he could before the more debilitating symptoms of his condition set in.

" the offer is much appreciated, you can work on cutting the potatoes and put them in that pan." he said pointing. virgil nodded and went to wash up.

they worked in silence, as to let logan continue to listen to the tv. but when remy called virgil from the living room, he rushed out to only halt when he saw the screen. his picture was on the screen, or rather that years school picture. virgil had pulled it back into a ponytail at the last second and showed a smirk at his deception. he had gotten yelled at when they came in. and virgil flat out refused to get them retaken.

" is that you?" remy asked, glancing at virgil at the last moment, but virgil couldnt answer, the only thing he heard was a pounding in his eardrums. he read the caption Sixteen year old Vanessa Marsh reported Missing by parents.

he hadnt realized he had been moved, because he was now sitting on the couch and logan was handing him a paper bag, his phone to his ear. voices sounded far away, remy was the first he heard " here vee- breathe into the bag. itll help you."

virgil tried, his shaking hands took the bag, blowing short frazzled breaths into the bag. logan mentioned, that patton was already on his way home. remy tried to coach virgil but he suddenly felt sick and rushed to the bathroom.

'theyre gonna find me' he thought over and over after he was done vomiting. there was a knock on the door, " virgil, kiddo, are you okay. its patton." virgil responded and opened the door after cleaning up. he sobbed into pattons shoulder as he comforted the boy. " im sorry. ive dragged you into my mess. now ive gone and gotten all of you into trouble too."

" you havent done anything wrong sweetie. Logan explained everything, if someone does come looking for you, we'll deal with that. we'll be fine, virgil. but right now we need to make sure youre alright. this amount of stress isnt good for the fetus, that is if you decide to keep it."

virgil sat down on the toilet and nodded " i do, at least until its born. i dont know if im ready to be a - a parent, but i dont want to abort it." he huffed a chuckle " probably the only thing i could agree with my parents on."  patton changed the subject " remy mentioned he got you a binder today. that was nice of him."

virgil agreed " more than nice, i feel bad that he spent money on me like that." patton cupped virgils face " oh kiddo," he mentioned as they walked back to the living room " it would probably be better you didnt wear the binders that much once you start showing. as the baby grows, it does tend to make it harder to breathe. and wearing a binder as well can be dangerous " " how long do i have before then?"

" usually between sixteen to twenty weeks, so another month or two for you." he smiled.  " thanks Patton," Patton nodded " cmon, dinner should be ready soon."

Part 7 ->

[logan-is-noggin]

Bring Me to Life

[Logan and 07734 version of Chris Daughtry's cover of the evanescence song.]

Summary: after WTIT, logan doesn't know what's becoming of him. but nowadays when he looks in the mirror, someone else seems to be looking back.

the orange side is taunting and reminding logan how empty he is in order to escape

Logan: How can you see into my eyes? like open doors. leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb.

07734: without a soul- my spirit sleeping somewhere cold, until you find it there and lead it. back. home.

Logan: Wake me up inside!  07734: ( echoed) wake me up inside!

Logan: call my name and save me from the dark 07734: bid my blood to run, 

Logan: before I come undone 07734: save me from the nothing I've become

Logan: Now that I know what im without, 07734: you can't just leave me

07734: breathe into me and make me real

07734: Bring me.. to life.

Logan: Wake me up inside! 07734: ( echoed) wake me up inside!

Both: call my name  Logan: and save me from the dark

07734: bid my blood to run, Logan: before I come undone

07734: save me from the nothing I've become

Logan: Frozen inside without your touch, without your love Logan: only you are the life among the dead Logan: All of this time, I can't believe I couldn't see Logan: kept in the dark but you were there in front of me

07734: I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems- got to open my eyes to everything

07734: without a thought, without a voice, without a soul 07734: don't let me die here, there must be something more 07734: Bring me to life

Logan: Wake me up inside! 07734: ( echoed) wake me up inside!

Both: call my name Logan: and save me from the dark 07734: bid my blood to run,  Logan: before I come undone 07734: save me from the nothing I've become

Logan: I've been living a lie  07734: ( echoed) there's nothing inside

Both: Bring me to life

[logan-is-noggin]

Cartoon therapy hc

So I came across Joans Elliot character from Cartoon therapy and I thought "oh yeah both Joan and talyn are in the series."

At first I thought, what if they met at picanis office and started dating...

But Elliots gay and kai has Lauren.

So even better, what if Elliot and Kai do get to know each other a bit during their brief meetings, and they end up hanging out outside of therapy and Elliot explains his situation about Mitchell. Elliot and Kai could have become really good friends and I just think that's sweet.

[logan-is-noggin]

*sigh* same

GOD IM IN LOVE WITH HIM

[logan-is-noggin]

More Sanders sides theories

so im doing a project with the side logos ( more on that later)

and i wonder, why are logan and Patton the only sides with organ logos?

but going deeper, the heart that Patton represents, emotions and all, is located in the brain.

then there's anxiety and anger/rage( orange) would be part of Patton as emotions,

then creativities, self-preservation ( deceit) would be part of logan as well.

they're not sanders' sides, they're logan's sides.

so when Thomas is having a debate with the sides, in actuality it's just logan, who in turn is having a discussion with the other sides ( who Thomas might not be able to see?)

[logan-is-noggin]

Roleslaying with Roman: thoughts and theories

im rewatching RSwR and I noticed some things I had to share.

in Episode 1:

when roman and youngblood are interrogating fast Timmy at the well, Timmy briefly mentions ( around the 39:00 mark in the video)

FT:" I've never stolen from that place, I've tried so many times. always get turned into a goat.

R: "you got turned into a goat?"

FT: "I wasnt talking about that..."

so that implies that burgundy red has access to some sort of magic to transform people ( possibly only into goats, idk.), and then they're forced to work for her.

so maybe Fast Timmy's gang used to be larger until one ( or two, depending on if Youngblood actually saw the second one) were caught trying to steal and transformed.

Side note: idk if it's just how Aj portrayed burgundy, but I sensed something slightly ominous about them. so maybe red is a secret villain?

[logan-is-noggin]

Beneath these wings 6: what happens now?

During the ride to the hospital, logan held onto virgils hand, squeezing intermittently, to let him know his husband was close, Virgil kept trying to apologize to logan through tears rolling down the sides of his eyes but logan would shake his head and quiet him, promising they'd talk more later when he wasnt currently bleeding out.

they unloaded Virgil and he was rushed through the ER, logan tried to keep up until an orderly held him back from going with the stretcher through the employee-only doors. logan watched until his bed turned a corner, then he let his breath out and his shoulders fell. logan caught sight of his pajamas, smeared with Virgil's now drying, blood. he wandered through the hospital halls until he found a restroom. he turned on the water and scrubbed the blood away off his hands, watching the rust-colored water down the drain and trying to clean his shirt, he feels his own tears dripping down his cheeks. his chest heaved as his own breaths came harder. he would have been grateful that he was alone in the room, but he really didn't care. he backed up until he was pressed against the wall and slid down, crying into his arms, folded across his knees. Logan wondered so many things as he sat there, willing himself to calm down, or at least stop crying. Virgil had been doing well, they had gone almost two months without an incident. logan noticed if Virgil had picked at scabs the scars left, but he didn't say anything.

he leaned his head back, the tiled walls feeling cool and refreshing for his heated skull and neck. logan didn't know what to do, which was something he hated to admit. while his original intent for studying psychology and medicine was unrelated, but, as his relationship flourished, he wanted to use his degree to be able to help and understand his mind better. it was hard to come to terms but logan relented that he needed help. he pulled his phone out and scrolled through his contacts, he paused by Patton's and parkers names, he didn't wish to disturb them due to the hour of the morning, and parker mentioned they were going to take a short trip to celebrate parkers graduation. although he would have to inform them eventually, and Patton would chew him out for not telling them sooner, he would let them have their time alone. 

he scrolled a bit more, then paused at a name he didn't realize he had on his phone but at this moment he was relieved that it was. he pressed dial, and put the device to his ear.

----------🧠🌩️---------

Rpovroman was asleep on his stomach, his blanket had fallen off the bed into a heap on the floor next to him, the heat was turned up so he didn't really notice. the phone on his nightstand started buzzing, gradually getting louder until roman jerked awake, propping himself up on his arm as he reached for the phone. he didn't recognize the number and was about to deny the call but in his sleepy state hit answer, he groaned as he put the phone to his ear "hello?" he said groggily.roman sat up a second later after hearing logans frantic voice going a mile a minute " logan, you have to slow down, I can't understand you." after another moment he replied, " ill be there as soon as I can."

Lpovonce roman made it to the emergency room and parked, he was about to head through the double doors when he found logan sitting on a bench nearby. his pajamas were stained with dried blood that made roman wince. he immediately took his coat off and draped it around logans shoulder, the gesture made logan flinch, but when he saw roman he jumped up, throwing his arms around Roman's neck and break down again. roman let logan cling to him then they both sat down, logan repositioned Romans coat on his shoulders. " do you want to talk about it?" logan shook his head, then nodded "I don't even know what to think, to say. he was doing well, his therapist agreed. he had been dropped to one appointment a week. we were like a normal family." he smiled sadly.roman leaned back, but then straightened when his back touched the cold bench " first, there's no such thing as normal. second, you guys just lost a pet, it's got to take a toll on virge, he always loved immensely when it came to animals." roman smirked.logan nodded "I shouldn't have touched anything!" logan growled. "I put all her stuff in the garage, I thought seeing it would make him sadder, didn't think it would push him back over the edge. I wish he would've woken me up to talk about it."" logan, no offense, but that's in the past, and wishing isn't going to change that you both messed up." logan shook his head as he handed back the jacket, " I can't mess up. he relies on me to be there for him, to have the answers..." he trailed off. " you're human, that's impossible that you'll never mess up. look, " he dug through his pockets and held out his keys " take my car, go home, get changed, maybe try to sleep if you can, I'll stick around for when he wakes up.""I don't know, I don't want to leave him." he whined but roman insisted " at least just change and come back then, you don't want him waking up to you covered in his blood." with that, logans shoulders fell as he sighed and took the keys. " thank you, for still being there for him."

roman nodded " I'm here for you too."

Read chapter 7 ->

[logan-is-noggin]

Meaning of Family- chapter 5

Summary: Virgil is found by some kind strangers

                          ﹏﹋﹏﹋﹏﹋🌩﹏﹋﹏﹋﹏﹋

"I dont need a babysitter patt!" Remy whined from the passenger seat of pattons car. the beta rolled his eyes at his brother-in-law's words. " it's not babysitting, it's you just staying with us while emile is away. besides you're not a baby and im certainly not going to sit on you" he chuckled"Remy groaned at the dad joke. They turned a corner and Patton flipped a switch to speed up the windshield wipers " boy it's really starting to rain." the headlights shone ahead lit up a bus stop and Patton thought he saw someone waiting. " rem, do you see that?" he mentioned and Remy turned his head " um, no I wasn't looking, do it again." they had passed the covered bench and Patton was sure someone was laying there. " im gonna turn around, just to see if they're okay." Remy again shrugged in passive agreement

( moments ago- Virgil pov)

Virgil couldn't relax, between feeling nauseous constantly, being cold and damp and his mind going on overdrive about what was happening back at home, though he consistently reminded himself that he didn't have to care about his parents feeling since they clearly didn't care about him. he lurched up and dove out into the rain to once again puke in the grass off the road, trying to do it away from his cover so he didn't have to deal with the smell. his throat burned. he had run out of liquid and wished he had some tums. a light appeared from around the corner when he returned to his bench and Virgil froze. until the car had passed him and drove on. but when the lights returned much slower he started to panic. 'how the hell did they find me?' he thought.

 ( no pov)

Patton turned around and pulled to the side of the road next to the bus stop. he grabbed the small umbrella he kept next to him and opened the door as he opened the umbrella. he hurried through the rain to the cover and stood at the edge under the cover. it was a kid, Patton could tell, he didn't think he was homeless, or at least hadn't been for long. " hey kiddo." he called in as calm a voice as he could. the kid, a boy he guessed but wasn't sure, had pressed himself as far away as Patton approached, obviously scared. " my name's Patton, what's your name. the kid hesitated as if unsure of how to respond. but then in a shaky voice replied " Va- Virgil. my names Virgil" " Nice to meet you," Patton said taking a step forward around the bench. " I saw you here and just wanted- needed to check if you were alright. this bus stop hasn't been used in a long time if you were waiting." Virgil shook his head, his arms wrapped around himself gripping tighter. "S'complicated." Patton looked from him to his bag on the bench. " would you like to come with me, Virgil? just to get out of the rain? it's supposed to storm through the night and you won't be able to get a good night to sleep on that bench" he smiled warmly.

if it were hours ago, Virgil would have been skeptical to go with a stranger, but this Patton seemed nice enough and Virgil was cold and tired and possibly pregnant so he nodded and stepped forward to grab his bag. Patton ushered him under the umbrella and they hurried to the car where Patton opened the back door for him and they got settled inside the vehicle. " Remy, this is Virgil. he's going to stay with us for the night at least. " he introduced. the lanky man in the front seat turned and nodded and waved " sup, man?'Virgil nodded back as they took off down the road. they got to know each other a bit. Virgil learned Patton was a beta and was a nurse at a nearby clinic. Remy was dating his brother. and Patton was married to logan. " he's very nice, but a bit quiet" Patton noted. Virgil was more than fine with quiet.

they turned another corner and then pulled into a stone ranch house, it looked quite small but still cozy. the group grabbed their items and rushed through the rain to the front door. the fast movement stirred Virgil's stomach even more. Patton opened the door and they hurried inside. logan, who had been sitting at the table looking over case files for work looked up as the door opened and rose to greet his husband. Virgil stood closer to Patton, clearly nervous about meeting the new stranger. " logan, this is Virgil, he's in a bit of a bind and I said he could spend the night to keep out of the storm." logan nodded and extended his hand " nice to meet you, Virgil." before Patton could explain further, Virgil interrupted and asked, " Sorry, but, where's your bathroom?" Patton pointed down the side hall and Virgil took off, trying not to completely run off. Remy had already lugged his bag up to the guest room. and Patton had put his things down and asked logan about his day" dear, don't you think you should have warned me that we'd be having a second houseguest?" "I know, im sorry, we found him at a bus stop nearby and I felt bad. he and Remy are fine sharing the guest room." Logan nodded again and smiled "I know you can't help helping people. it's one of the many reasons I love you" pattons head turned as he heard a sound coming from the bathroom. " ill be right back dear. Patton hurried down the hall where the sounds of Virgil wretching was more distinct, which made Patton worried. he rapped gently on the door with his knuckles. " Virgil? are you okay, kiddo?" the toilet flushed before Virgil opened the door a crack, a sign Patton could come inside. Virgil sat on the closed lid, a square of paper in his hand he was cleaning his face with." are you alright? are you sick?" virgils thoughts spun in his head " yes.. no... ugh. It's sort of complicated."Patton sat on the edge of the tub, waiting for Virgil to continue "I deal with complicated all day long, im sure I can keep up."(he's a literal nurse if anyone can help it's gonna be him.) 

his mind told him. so he took a deep breath and began to share his story. he told Patton about his parents and how they didn't accept him as a boy at home, about being raped at school, and his doubts about whether or not he could possibly be pregnant. " I didn't know what else to do besides run. " he gasped as more tears ran down his cheeks. Patton rubbed circles on his back. " well, the first thing we need to do is to get you a pregnancy test, you can come with me if you want or I can get one and bring it back, your pick." Patton said "I'll come with you" Virgil quickly agreed. one trip back to the car and they were on their way to the pharmacy downtown. Patton used the drive to ask more about Virgil's life before, where he lived, his parents, or his other interests. after purchasing the test, Patton took Virgil to the bathroom in the back of the store, " do you know how to use this?"Virgil nodded, took the box, and headed inside, Patton agreed he would be right outside. five minutes later, Virgil was holding the test, looking at the two blue lines and his thoughts were going a thousand miles an hour. " what happens now?" he asked Patton on the way home, Patton turned into the driveway but they stayed in the car " it depends on what you want to do Virgil."" what are my choices?"

" you can get an abortion to terminate the pregnancy, keep the baby or put it up for adoption once it's born." Virgil was a bit stunned at how frank Patton was being. and he was a little more than overwhelmed " do I have time to make up my mind?" Patton nodded " you have a few weeks but if you choose not to continue with the pregnancy, the sooner the better, now let's get inside. it's getting late."

Read part 6->

[logan-is-noggin]

What happens if Virgil becomes his worst nightmare?

[logan-is-noggin]

I painted some Virgil shoes this week. I might touch them up to make them more opaque but they turned out good for my first time customizing shoes💜💜🖤🖤

[logan-is-noggin]

Who id be- dark side songshot

Summary: the dark sides are having a get together for the first time since Virgil left,

roman and Patton were assisting Thomas with a rather fanciful project one afternoon, leaving the others to have a bit of free time. so janus and Remus sought Virgil out to he if he wanted some company, at first Virgil resisted an offer from janus, but relented after Remus threatened to burn his hoodie if he didn't stay. they spent some time asking about how Virgil was liking his new assignments and how he's getting along with the others " roman still bugs the crap outta me, if he could sing in his sleep, I bet he would." he smirked. the other two chuckled. topics turned and soon they were discussing what would happen if they could change what they did as part of Thomas. Remus said he'd want to be a logical side, " I know loads of stuff and would love to force them to listen while I infodump all over them!" he cackled.janus scoffed and stated " im perfectly fine with who I am, thank you very much!" he hissed. Virgil rolled his eyes." you sure there's nothing else you'd rather be?"

Janus: I guess id be a hero, with sword and armor clashing, looking semi-dashing- a shield within my grip,

Or else I'd be a Viking, and live a life that's daring.

Remus: smelling like a herring-( janus swings his staff at Remus)

Janus: upon a Viking ship

I'd sail away, id see the world, i'd reach the farthest reaches feel the wind, I'd taste the salt and see, and maybe storm some beaches, that's who I'd be, that's who id be

Remus: I could be a poet, and write a different story! one that tells of glory, that wipes away the lies

( janus hisses)

Remus: into the skies id throw it, the stars could do the telling, the moon would help with spelling, and I would dot the i's

Remus: id write a verse, recite a joke with wit and perfect timing, i'd share my heart, confess the things I yearn and do it all while rhyming

Remus: but we all learn

Janus: but we all learn

Janus: a dark side always hides, a dark sides fate is known, a dark side always stays in the dark and all alone.so yes, id be a hero, and if my wish were granted, life would be enchanted, or so the stories say, of course, I'd be a hero, and I would scale a tower, to save a hothouse flower, and carry him away, but standing guard there'd be a beast, I'd somehow overwhelm it

( Remus acts like a monster while janus slays it with his staff)

I'd get the guy, I'd take a breath, and I'd remove my helmet. we'd stand and stare, we speak of love, we feel the stars ascending we'd share a kiss, i'd finds my destiny, I'd have a heros ending. a big bright beautiful world... but not for me

logan had been upstairs reading one of his favorite books when he heard someone singing downstairs, at first he brushed it off as roman but after another moment he stood from his desk and opened his door more, hearing Janus's voice instead. something inside him related to what he was saying, as of late, Logan had felt more and more like an outcast himself in the group, with Thomas turning to Virgil and janus for help with situations he would have assisted with in the past. had his more recent outbursts of rage made Thomas no longer trust him? logan had once pondered if his host no longer had a need for him, did that make him somewhat of a dark side himself.

Logan: a dark side always hides, a dark sides fate is known ( &janus) a dark side always stays in the dark...

Virgil: you're all alone

all: - all alone...

simultaneously

(logan: and I know, he'll appear, cause there are rules and there are strictures, I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight

janus: so yes ill be a hero, and if my wish were granted, life would be enchanted or so the stories say, of course, id be a hero, and I would scale a tower, to save a hothouse flower, and carry him away

,Remus: all alone, you need a pal, my calendars open, you need me...)

All: a perfect happy ending, that's how it should be