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lonelybrokengirl99 · 2 years

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Was Ryan Ross in a satanic cult?

Deep within the Ryan fandom, there exists a persistent and strange rumor, spurred on by mysterious tattoos and enigmatic photographs.

But although this time in Ryan’s life remains somewhat obscure, Ryan was not involved with a cult (at least not in the traditional sense). Rather, this was most likely a spiritual endeavor drawing on alchemical symbolism and light witchcraft.

We know, it looks like a cult. But hear us out… (After all, we Mods actually have experience with witchy things and the occult. It’s okay that you’re shocked.)

In order to understand what is going on, it must first be established that the pictures of Ryan and his ‘cult’ draw on a special language of elemental symbolism. If you’re familiar with Wicca, classical alchemy, Avatar: The Last Airbender, or other such media, you may be aware of the “four elements”: Air, Water, Earth, and Fire. These are not thought of in a literal sense, necessarily, but rather as spiritual influencers of humanity, personality, and higher consciousness.

Even in the above picture, you can see lots of greenery, which represents the element of Earth. Many modern mystery religions focus on reconnecting with the Earth and, therefore, draw heavily on the color green and vegetal symbolism.

Now, let’s look at some of the other pictures…

Ryan has wrapped himself in ivy, another clear invocation of Earth, and is also holding a candle in a position of prominence. The candle represents Fire, and is a traditional symbol for inspiration, passion, and connecting with a higher power.

I promise that we’ll get to the Q? business later. But what I’d really like to draw your attention to here is the string of pearls. Pearls are found in the ocean, and are therefore an invocation of the element Water. Water, in a magical sense, helps us connect with emotions and deeper intuition.

The notebook in these pictures is likely to be a Book of Shadows, or a Grimoire, in which Ryan would have written his spiritual insights. It is clearly his handwriting, and anyone who has seen his Fever-era makeup looks can recognize his art style.

You can see a crescent moon in the upper left corner of the page, which again invokes Water, and Ryan has also drawn a hot air balloon, signifying Air (obviously), the element of communication, travel, and intelligence. And again, we see the candles and ivy, or rather Earth and Fire. All four elements are represented in this picture!

But what about the Q? business? Whatever it means was important enough for Ryan to permanently inscribe on his body, after all…..

Now, none of us have spoken to Ryan personally on the matter, but we see it as very likely that the Q refers to “quintessence”, or the famous and elusive fifth element (AKA the top of the pentagram star). Many people refer to it as Spirit or Aether instead. The word “quintessence” is literally derived from the Latin phrase for “fifth essence”, and the principles of Alchemy dictate that it is the substance that produces the other four elements. Furthermore, the elements can reach the Quintessence, or Q for short (this is an extremely common abbreviation), through purification.

Even more, many mystery religions today incorporate principles of Alchemy and apply them to the human being. Through self-purification, study, and personal balance, a practitioner of these rituals can achieve the highest level of spirituality and inner peace.

So what can we make of all of this?

At this point in his life (2007), Ryan was obviously trying to sort through his problems by connecting with his intuition, the spiritual world, and a higher consciousness. It appears that he also had the support and participation of some other like-minded individuals, and that they performed esoteric rituals together.

Similarly, the fact that Ryan tattooed Q and ? on the backs of his upper arms reflects his commitment and dedication to self-betterment, spiritual growth, and the seeking of knowledge.

It is unclear if Ryan still participates in these practices, but he should not be judged if he is. Another thing to keep in mind is that Ryan grew up in a very religious household, so it only stands to reason that he would be drawn to alternative expressions of spirituality and mysticism.

And although the methods of drawing on the elements and performing rituals may seem strange, nothing about this is satanic, evil, or harmful in any way. It’s focused on self-growth and developing a sense of inner peace, which we all can agree that Ryan deserves.

~Mod C

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lonelybrokengirl99 · 2 years

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lonelybrokengirl99 · 2 years

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The Heartbreaking End of Panic! at the Disco‘s 2006 Summer Tour (Masterpost)

In summer of 2006, Panic! at the Disco was on top of the world. Their debut album was an unexpected hit, despite initially being hated by music critics, and their avant-garde tour circuit across America established them as both an artistic and financial success. Even better, they had racked up an impressive four nominations for the MTV Video Music Awards.

The last performance of their tour was scheduled to be on the first day of the Lollapalooza festival in Chicago, IL, on Friday, August 4, 2006: the perfect, triumphant end to the perfect tour.

Unfortunately, fate had another plan.

Ryan Ross’s father, George Hammond Ross Jr., was an alcoholic who had been in and out of the hospital for some time. He and his son had a notoriously difficult and strained relationship, mostly due to problems associated with alcoholism, and Ryan had written two songs about it: “Camisado” and “Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks”.

An article from Kerrang in 2006 interviewed Ryan about his family troubles:

Ross, meanwhile, found growing up a more tricky prospect. As fragile as a porcelain doll - as if a strong gust of wind or the wrong words would crush him to dust - he writes the clever lyrics that frontman Brendon Urie sings. He was outgoing as a small child, but somewhere along the line he became cripplingly shy. Keen to give his son a good start in life, his father, an ex-marine, worked to send him to a private Catholic school - although Ross is an atheist - hoping to provide the education he never got. Ross found he had little in common with his wealthy classmates.

Meanwhile, his home life was falling apart. His parents split up when he was young; he hardly ever speaks to his mother and rarely sees his two half-brothers. Which meant he was left alone to deal with his father’s growing problem with alcohol - as beautifully portrayed in the song ‘Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks.’ Ross’ fights with his father were exacerbated by Ross’ decision to concentrate on the band rather than going to college.

“He was pretty much dead set on me going to college and I got a scholarship,” he says quietly. “He thought I was stupid for throwing that away. His problems with alcohol magnified and skewed things even further. I was not staying at home for weeks at a time. I was staying with my girlfriend, staying with the other guys in the band. There were times when I almost had to sleep at our rehearsal space, ‘cause I didn’t have anywhere to go. Obviously I loved him and I cared about him, but when you’re getting kind of abused by that person, at the same time it’s really hard to try to help them.”

At the end of July 2006, during a televised interview in Vancouver, Ryan received news that his father was in the hospital again and that it wasn’t looking good. Understandably, this made him check his phone repeatedly and have a barely-repressed anxiety attack, which resulted in the interviewer actually taking away his cell phone and teasing him about it on-air.

This is horrifyingly immortalized in the fandom (albeit out-of-context) because Brendon showed support for his grieving friend with a comforting hand squeeze. (Jon also flips off the interviewer behind his back.)

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George Ross Jr. passed away on July 28, 2006, with memorial services scheduled for August 3.

Ryan heard about his father’s passing while on the band’s tour bus, which he discussed a few months later in an interview with Rolling Stone magazine:

Last July, [Ryan’s] father died in his sleep at the age of sixty. Panic were en route from Vancouver to Seattle on their bus when Ross heard the news. “I could almost feel that it was going to happen, because of the way he would treat himself,” he says. “I got a phone call, and I knew right away what the police officer was going to tell me. I just knew.”

Ryan also talked about his father’s funeral in the same Rolling Stone interview:

“The day of his funeral, it was raining and… it was strange to be raining that time of year. After the service, I went back and put my hand on the casket and kind of said goodbye. Right then, it stopped raining. The clouds blew away, and the sun came out, and it got warm. I spoke at the funeral and said that I think the one thing my dad cared about since I was born was that he wanted to raise me. I think he felt like he was done with that and had nothing else to do, so he just let go and stopped living. It’s almost like it’s better this way because it’s what he wanted. I miss him, but I feel like everything’s all right now. It was sad, but I got back out on tour and only missed three shows.”

The next day was the Lollapalooza show, and Ryan was determined to play it despite the circumstances.

The results are, as you could imagine, horribly sad in context. Ryan and Brendon’s vocals are both strained for the duration of the show, and the entire band looks on the brink of tears for most of their time onstage. “Camisado” and “Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks” are particularly gut-wrenching.

The performance was also besieged with logistical errors, including microphone trouble, poor stage management, and a sound delay that gets progressively worse over the course of the show. The boys tried their hardest anyway, but the performance is not one of their best. Making matters even stranger, portions of the concert are lost forever.

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Noticeably, Ryan also chose to do his hair and makeup in a way that covers most of his face. He has admitted to using his elaborate makeup designs as a mask and confidence-booster, so it is unsurprising that he did one of his most intricate looks on such an emotionally difficult day.

You may recognize this look, in fact, from a popular gif taken from the tail end of their performance of “Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off.”

The next time you see this floating around the fandom, remember the context.

~Mods C, M, and B

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lonelybrokengirl99 · 2 years

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this video i'm in a crisis. the twirl. everyone cheering. ray cheering. idk what to say anymore

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lonelybrokengirl99 · 2 years

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the way gerard smiles when he looks over and sees frank is flipping him off

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lonelybrokengirl99 · 2 years

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[LOVE YOU GUYS] “We love you too… we love you too”

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lonelybrokengirl99 · 2 years

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gerard way letting us listen to the sparkling water in his mouth and laughing abt it

(not pictured: the almost full minute he stood there waiting for the rest of mcr to notice and stop doing sound check so we could hear it)

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lonelybrokengirl99 · 2 years

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It’s my birthday…

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lonelybrokengirl99 · 2 years

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that video of ray and gerard writing to the end is so fuckin adorable man (x)

“Make it more major” “i don’t wanna go to c” “why” “cuz” “just tell me why?” “Cuz” “cuz why? Ok. Can we do it somewhere else?” “Yes” “okay that’s all you had to say”