lostboi-in-neverland - Tumblr blog

[lostboi-in-neverland]

You don't have to make yourself so small;

Your laugh isn't too loud.

You aren't taking up too much space.

Your needs aren't a burden.

Give yourself the space to be the full person you are, you deserve it just as much as anyone else.

[lostboi-in-neverland]

While Apple Sauce seems to have people’s attention

[lostboi-in-neverland]

Perfectionism Attacks (and ways to correct these thoughts)

From Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker

1. Perfectionism. My perfectionism arose as an attempt to gain safety and support in my [unsupportive] family. Perfectionism is a self-persecutory myth. I do not have to be perfect to be safe or loved in the present. I am letting go of relationships that require perfection. I have a right to make mistakes. Mistakes do not make me a mistake. Every mistake or mishap is an opportunity to practice loving myself in the places I have never been loved.

2. All-or-None & Black-and-White Thinking. I reject extreme or over-generalized descriptions, judgments, or criticisms. One negative happenstance does not mean I am stuck in a never-ending pattern of defeat. Statements that describe me as “always’ or “never” this or that are typically grossly inaccurate.

3. Self-Hate, Self-Disgust, & Toxic Shame. I commit to myself. I am on my side. I am a good enough person. I refuse to trash myself. I turn shame back into blame and disgust, and externalize it to anyone who shames my normal feelings and foibles. As long as I am not hurting anyone, I refuse to be shamed for normal emotional responses like anger, sadness, fear, and depression. I especially refuse to attack myself for how hard it is to completely eliminate the self-hate habit.

4. Micromanagement, Worrying, Obsessing, Looping, & Over-Futurizing. I will not repetitively examine details over and over. I will not jump to negative conclusions. I will not endlessly second-guess myself. I cannot change the past. I forgive [myself for] all my  past mistakes. I cannot make the future perfectly safe. I will stop hunting for what could go wrong. I will not try to control the uncontrollable. I will not micromanage myself or others. I work in a way that is “good enough,” and I accept the existential fact that my efforts sometimes bring desired results and sometimes they do not. “God grant me the serenityt o accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

5. Unfair or Devaluing Comparisons to others or to your most perfect moments. I refuse to compare myself unfavorably to others. I will not compare my insides to their outsides. I will not judge myself for not being at peak performance all the time. In a society that pressures us into acting happy all the time, I will not get down on myself for feeling bad.

6. Guilt. Feeling guilty does not mean I am guilty. I refuse to make my decisions and choices from guilt. Sometimes I need to feel the guilt and do it anyway. In the inevitable instances when I inadvertently hurt someone, I will apologize, make amends, and let go of my guilt. I will not apologize over and over. I am no longer a victim. I will not accept unfair blame. Guilt is sometimes camouflaged fear: I may feel guilty and afraid, but I am not guilty or in danger.

7. “Shoulding.” I will substitute the words “want to” for “should” and only follow this imperative if it feels like I want to, unless I am under legal, ethical, or moral obligation.

8. Over-productivity, workaholism, and busyholism. I am a human being, not a human doing. I will not choose to be perpetually productive. I am more productive in the long run when I balance work with play and relaxation. I will not try to perform at 100% at all time. I subscribe to the normalcy of vacillating along a continuum of efficiency.

9. Harsh Judgments of Self and Others, Name-calling. I will not let the bullies and critics of my early life win by joining and agreeing with them. I refuse to attack myself or abuse others. I will not displace the criticism and blame that rightfully belongs to my dysfunctional caretakers onto myself or current people in my life. “I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.”–Jane Eyre

[lostboi-in-neverland]

Bambi, 1942

[lostboi-in-neverland]

/ᐠ｡‸｡ᐟ\

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/ᐠ｡‸｡ᐟ\

[lostboi-in-neverland]

OSF 11/23/19

Today I struggled to like my arms. So time to counter my negative self talk!

People say I give good hugs, that’s because of my thick-ass arms. My arms are not refined or particularly muscular, but they don’t have to be to be strong. They are soft, and full of love. It’s okay if my arms are chubby, they weren’t given to me to be thin.

With these arms I have held cats, and drawn pictures, and learned sign, and held my friends. I do not need to have thin or refined arms to do this.

These arms are fat, and that’s okay. Good, even. Amazing, because they are mine. And that’s enough.

[lostboi-in-neverland]

[lostboi-in-neverland]

[lostboi-in-neverland]

https://pin.it/2NtdBe8

[lostboi-in-neverland]

[lostboi-in-neverland]

soft gold stimboard

source source source - source source source - source source source

[lostboi-in-neverland]

sensory

[lostboi-in-neverland]

about me:

rufio

he/they pronouns

transmasc / genderqueer / genderfluid / tomboi / it’s complicated and I’m sick of being forced to identify with neocolonial notions of gender and sexuality

27

mixed poc / second gen immigrant

multiply disabled and chronically ill

autistic, schizophrenic, dissociative, and managing.

full transparency: i am in the bd/sm community, but I also age regress therapeutically due to being autistic and for dissociative / DID reasons. this blog will not contain s*xual content.

wolf and dog therian

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about this blog:

self soothing things, will contain stim content, content that inspires my regression, content that pertains to my special interests, and things that overall help my mental health!

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main blog: @lostboy-straydog (warning: 18+ only)

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special interests / hyperfixations:

- steven universe

- night in the woods

- animal behavior and animals in general (esp dogs!)

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comforts:

- cooking and baking

- baby / childhood items

- halloween / fall

- pop punk music

- animal crossing

- specific characters (peridot, lapis, pearl, amethyst, ruby, and garnet from su, mae, gregg, and bea from nitw, mikan from danganropa, futaba from p5, natsuki from ddlc, etc) (there’s a lot more from various anime and whatnot whoops)

[lostboi-in-neverland]

Ya know what’s magic? Being outside after a summer storm. The shimmer off the concrete, the way the trees look greener, the simple silence in the air, and how everything literally smells brand new and refreshed. It’s unlike anything else

[lostboi-in-neverland]

[lostboi-in-neverland]

sunsetoned on ig