lunastarhawk

[lunastarhawk]

“The person you think of when you stand in front of the ocean.”

— Colleen Michele

[lunastarhawk]

Accurate representation of what happens when I see a mutual in my notifications

[lunastarhawk]

The weight of the world is resting on your back

And everyone you know says it gets much easier

When the weight of the world falls slack

Kick up your feet and let's move forever

I'll set the sail if you lift the tether

All of the times that we've shared together

All of the sounds, in all kinds of weather

This is the way it should be forever

[lunastarhawk]

Hey remember that time I completed one of the two main plotlines of Tides of Memories? Arguably the only important one, the one that was the whole point of the fic to begin with.

That was pretty neat.

Tides of Memories part 28 - The Memories He Lost: chapters 11-13

Maybe I posted three chapters on the same day, how bout that.

Chapter 11 - The Bittersweet Heartsong:

In the midst of the horrors of the Red Plague, Julian and Altheia spent the night of the Heartsong festival together, and made an enduring promise.

Chapter 12 - The End of the Beginning:

The ritual comes to its devastating conclusion. Content warning for descriptions of sickness and Altheia's canonical death. My heart shattered into itty bitty pieces in the process of writing this. Two-and-a-half years I've known it was coming, and technically it's the second time I've written it. Still wasn't prepared.

Chapter 13 - Compass Point You Anywhere, Closer to Me

With the ritual complete, Julian and Altheia can rest. For now.

That turned out way longer than I expected, but I loved writing it. Well, apart from the bit that broke me. But I'm glad it's done.

I can get back to the main story now in part 29... It's not over yet!

Keep reading for a little extract from Bittersweet Heartsong...

“Wait!” Julian reached out and grabbed her wrist; she turned back. “You didn’t tell me why you’re here.”

Altheia looked down as Julian released her hand.

“You haven’t told me why you decided to throw yourself into one of my portals.”

Julian crossed his arms over his chest. “I know an attempt at deflection when I see one. I’ve asked twice now, you don’t get out of answering that easily.”

Altheia glared at him for a moment, then sighed. Her brow furrowed in sadness.

“I wanted to give you something.”

Julian’s eyebrows raised; he hadn’t been expecting that kind of response. “Oh? What kind of something?”

“A gift. For the Heartsong festival.”

Julian’s consternation at that was two-fold; first, that he’d forgotten it was Heartsong, and second, that Altheia hadn’t forgotten and, despite what he’d done, despite pushing her away, she wanted to give him a gift. He groaned softly.

“Heartsong’s today? I’m so sorry, I forgot, I…”

She raised an eyebrow and a sad smile.

“Don’t be sorry. You’ve got no reason to give me a gift. You finished with me, remember?”

“Oh. Yes… I did, didn’t I.”

“Yes, you did. But I’d already ordered this weeks ago, and it was only finished yesterday. I didn’t know whether or not to give it to you at all, but I didn’t want to waste it.” She gave an embarrassed laugh. “Actually, it’s not any good… I got the measurements wrong, I think.”

“What measurements?”

“Your, uh…” Altheia made a vague gesture towards Julian’s arms and chest, serving only to confuse him further. “All of them.”

“Huh.” Julian frowned and peered around Altheia, but couldn’t see any such gift. His curiosity got the better of him. “What is it? And that still doesn’t explain why you’re on the roof.”

“I was going to use the portal to bring it to the library,” she said, still looking almost everywhere else but at Julian’s eyes. “I thought I’d leave it on your chair by the desk. Rather than, you know… give it to you.”

“Huh,” Julian said again, feeling stupid but unable to gather his thoughts. “You wanted to give me a gift, but not give it to me?”

“Yes.” Altheia finally met his gaze with a frustrated huff. “It’s the Heartsong festival, Julian.”

“Oh? Oh!” The penny finally dropped. “Ah, I see. You ordered… something… as a Heartsong gift, and then rather than let it go to waste you still wanted to give it to me, but you were going to leave it for me to find? So it wouldn’t be a Heartsong gift.”

“Well you’re making it sound stupid,” Altheia grumbled. “But, yes. Basically.”

“Huh.” Julian set his hands on his hips, tapped one finger thoughtfully on his belt, and then a grin slowly lifted one corner of his mouth. “If you’d been half a minute earlier, we’d have passed each other in that portal.”

Altheia snorted a surprised laugh. “Like ships passing in a… twisting nether.”

Julian chuckled. “Yes, exactly.”

The rest is up now on AO3.

[lunastarhawk]

ADHD is do awesome because you have to tell yourself once every 17 seconds that the discomfort you feel during the creative process is, in fact, not a sign of failure, but your brain just having a temper tantrum due to a lack of instant gratification

[lunastarhawk]

Vincent skeb c0mm 🥀🖤

[lunastarhawk]

I've decided to take a break from writing Tides of Memories for a little bit. My feelings about it took a nosedive into the abyss on many fronts some time ago, and I've tried to push through for a while but I'm painfully aware that the quality of my writing has suffered as a result. It's not making me happy anymore.

So I'm gonna work on something else for a bit. I will finish Tides eventually, I love Julian and Altheia too much not to finish their story, even if it's from my retirement home, even if the Arcana fandom is dead and buried by then. I think I just need a minute to regroup and find my love for writing it again.

Pinning this just in case anyone wonders what's up if I go weeks or months without an update.

Entirely unrelated to the post but here, have a Derp as tax

[lunastarhawk]

sorry if i'm gonna be quiet for a while. my country recently introduced laws that make it so that in order to use social media to the fullest (not being able to view ns/fw content and in a few cases, not even having access to dms), i HAVE to give the sites my id/face scan.

it goes into effect july 25th. it'll probably effect here too, since this place allows mature content (tho not full on ns/fw)

i'm very distressed about it bc i might end up not even being able to talk to my internet friends. i don't really have any irl ones

if i have to disappear on most socials by then, you know why.

[lunastarhawk]

A DAI rogue's Hook and Tackle is the single sexiest move in any Dragon Age game. Possibly any game ever.

Pull a hook on an impossibly long chain from your pocket, fling it an insane distance to impale an enemy with pinpoint accuracy?

Yank on the chain to fly towards said enemy and flying kick them in the face?

Fucking back flip off of their face??

Finish with a Flank Attack and Twin Fangs just to show off and really take the piss?

Bonus: when the enemy is up on a ledge or something so it doubles as a shortcut to the high place. Like Spiderman with daggers and a leather coat.

That's the good shit 👌🏻

[lunastarhawk]

What's your canon Inquisitor's specialization?

(Champion, Reaver, Templar, Artificer, Assassin, Tempest, Knight-Enchanter, Necromancer, Rift Mage)

[lunastarhawk]

💍 🏷️ 💝 — for both Juleia and Favidor please 😌

Yaaaay more blorbo yapping! (now I've got my brain in gear for it)

💍Would they ever get married? 

Julian and Altheia - You know, I have ummed and ahhed about this for like… two years.  Lifelong commitment is not the issue.  It’s the fact that I’m not convinced that Altheia would want to lose her identity as an individual.  It’s been a hard fight to find her Self again.  And the ‘problem’ with marriage is identity as an individual being tied up with someone else, as a couple.  Like yes she loves Julian with all of her heart and is in no doubt they will be together and very much in love for the rest of their days, and their hearts and souls are entwined forever, but formal marriage is like giving up a piece of the Self she fought so hard to get back.  Am I making any sense?  It makes me feel a bit bad because I firmly hc that Julian would want to marry, and I don’t want it to sound like Altheia is a terrible person for not wanting to, I just… can’t wrangle myself to believing that she would be comfortable with formally marrying.

But!  That’s not to say they wouldn’t have a deeply personal and intimate hand-fasting ceremony at sea officiated over by Mazelinka and attended by a certain romantic minor Arcana, followed by a two-day long party and a very long and happy life together.  Julian might even double-barrel his surname  :) 

Favian and Dorian - Absolutely yes.  A very private and discreet little ceremony with just their closest friends.  Favian would take the name Pavus.

🏷️Do they give their partners cute nicknames? 

Juleia - Julian has tons of nicknames for Altheia - Captain, morning star, Venera, Alteya (that’s more just him slipping into pronouncing her name with the accent of his mother tongue), Doch’morya (daughter of the sea), sea and stars, pet names in other languages he may or may not tell her what they mean, errrr probably more I’ve forgotten.  Basically yes he loves giving her nicknames :) 

Altheia wishes she could come up with more nicknames and something more original but the best she’s got is ‘rising sun’.  It makes Julian giddy when she says it though.

Favidor - Dorian calls Favian his amatus of course, and also wild rose.  Favian calls Dorian ‘fire of my heart’, and wildfire. Also, ‘Not a Nice Man’ - as a playful joke (referring to what Dorian says in his proposition in their romance scene), usually when Dorian is actually being rather nice, and/or during sexy time.

💝How long until they feel secure and comfortable in a relationship? 

Juleia - For Julian it’s a long time, mainly because he needs to work on his self-worth first before he can accept that he’s deserving of the relationship.  And until he feels he deserves it, he can’t feel secure in it.  So it’s like he needs to feel secure and comfortable with himself.  For Altheia it doesn’t take too long, although in the case of her relationship with Julian she’s a lot more concerned with making him feel secure, and then that by default makes her feel secure.

Favidor - A long time for both of them I think, but it’s not like they even notice it happening.  There’s a lot of flirting, banter, kissing, sex, verbally dancing around the subject, all casual casual casual, an accidental Reveal of Feelings and then whoops they’re a couple now.  And that’s that.

Thank yoooou!

[lunastarhawk]

🎭 💡 💔 — for the OC emoji asks please!!

(The OC game in question is here)

Thank you and sorry it took me forever to wake my brain up to answer!

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

Altheia (The Arcana) - Nah, she’s quite happy to be herself around pretty much everyone.

Favian (DAI Inquisitor) - He’s the exact opposite.  You’d have a hard time finding him not wearing some kind of mask.  Though it is never more evident than the mask of The Inquisitor.

Sherene (DAO HoF) - She’s a silly street urchin at heart, but doesn’t show the playful side of herself to her family, and tries to suppress it around other Grey Wardens, especially once she’s Warden-Commander.  But honestly they mostly find her endearing.

Teale (DA2 Hawke) - She’s grumpy with everyone.  All the time.

Flint (DAV Rook) - He's like a puppy, he doesn't know any other way to be.

💡 LIGHTBULB - is your oc a planner? do they write down every small detail or just wing it?

Altheia - She’d like to be a planner, and does make attempts, but tends to get swept up in Julian’s impulsiveness 😊

Favian - He’s exceptionally good at planning journeys.  Like he’ll meticulously work out travel time, rest stops, all of that, including contingency plans and alternative routes.  Pretty good at planning schedules too, just not very good at sticking to them himself.

Sherene - Hahaha what’s a plan?

Teale - She values efficiency so is pretty good at planning for that.

Flint - He might make plans if he could sit still for long enough.

💔 BROKEN HEART - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?

Whyyyyyy would you ask this. 😭

Altheia - Fall into the depths of depression and sacrifice himself for her 🥲 (I don't think anything is more heartbreaking than Julian's route's reversed ending)

Favian - Betray his trust.  Doesn’t even have to be something big - he doesn’t trust anyone ever, so if he’s finally opened up enough to trust someone?  Yeah that’s gonna hurt a lot.

Sherene - Disappear.  She can handle a break-up, but disappearing without telling her why?  Nuh-uh.

Teale - What heart? (...is what she’d like you to think.  In reality - keeping secrets.)

Flint - Give his favourite dessert to someone else 🥲 (this in the context of Lucanis' love confession coming in the form of dessert)

Thank you!!

[lunastarhawk]

📺😘🤐 for Favian and Dorian ;-)

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to this! My brain needed a reboot.

(Question from this ask game)

📺 Do they share information about their relationships freely with friends and family? 

Dorian absolutely does not.  But I feel like this is a product of circumstance, with it being forbidden for two men to be in a relationship.  I like to think that after becoming Archon, he’d be loud and proud about who he is with.  

Favian I think wouldn’t want to tell people that he’s with someone, because he’d be so certain it’s not going to last and he doesn’t want to have to tell people that it’s ended.  He’d be quite flippant about it if asked.  But there’s also the factor that he doesn’t have many people to call friends or family that he would think even care enough about him to be interested in his relationships.  Towards the end of Inquisition, though, he has friends and feels secure with Dorian, and would be very open about everything.  Maybe they both would share a little bit too much.

😘 Does their demeanor change when in a relationship?  

Both of them yeah, absolutely.  They’re both very similar with the sarcasm and sass, and the kind of banter that might sound like they dislike each other to anyone who doesn’t know them.  Both also have a vulnerable side that only really opens up once they’re secure in the relationship, and I think that ability to show vulnerability and a softer side projects outside of the relationship too.

🤐 Would they ever confess their feelings first? 

Nope and nope!  Until they do.  Both of them.  At the same time.  By accident :)   I need to write that one day.

Though, I do think that Dorian being hesitant to confess his feelings is more due to his circumstance than his personality - I think he's enough of a romantic at heart that if he hadn't been taught that it's not okay to have feelings for another man, he'd be less likely to hold back.

Thank you!!

[lunastarhawk]

i love being a writer. it’s so chill and easy and stress-free, unless you count the constant mental ping-pong between “i’m a genius” and “this is the worst thing ever written by a human being”

[lunastarhawk]

Ring

c. 1795

Gold, ivory, glass

British

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

[lunastarhawk]

@anew-flame LITERALLY 😘

Not writing a fanfic nobody asked for but writing fanfic for youself and that one other person who is equally insane about the idea

[lunastarhawk]

i saw wallace slice up the moon and eat it as cheese on a cracker as a kid and i just haven’t known true satisfaction since