A trying to sneak out of B’s flat in the morning and B’s roommate catching them “A..what are you doing here?” “oh just um- you know” *raises eyebrow* “I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ACTUALLY HOW HAVE YOU BEEN??”
^ additionally the roommate just being like “…” and A wondering if it worked and the roommate being like “i’m actually so glad i wanted to talk to you too you know i need some advice actually-“ etc
“is that..is that a hickey” “no hahahahah of course not what happened actually is-“ *both the characters who are dating staring at each other awkwardly* “A CAT..BIT THEM ACTUALLY” “YEAH THAT uh a cat..bit me” “on the neck?” “yeah like just..pounced you know *while shooting the other character a “seriously? couldn’t think of anything better??” look*
them just making such fucking elaborate ridiculous lies to hide things and people actually buying it fav trope
A: “i can’t find my camera i have no idea where i kept it” B: “it’s in your second drawer near the wardrobe i think” A’s roommate: “how the fuck do you know that”
C showing up at A’s door (bc they got broken up with or got fired or something) while they’re hooking up with B and then having to hide B in their flat
“whatever you guys say..we were really good at hiding our relationship” “literally all of us knew” “no you didn’t” “we just wanted to see how long you two would manage to keep it up..i must say, that was an extremely entertaining decision”
B’s roommate: “B i think A is stealing our stuff” “what?” “listen. i found your item in their washroom yesterday look i got it back as proof” “tons of people use the same thing B” “it says “property of B” at the bottom”
A and B thinking they’ve made a completely plausible excuse to leave together without anyone suspecting anything, but then when they leave their friends being like “so they’re 100% hooking up” “oh definitely”
I hate, hate, HATE the term “affordable housing.” I hate that we’ve normalized it. I hate that we just accept that the majority of housing, a basic human right, is unaffordable to much of the population. Housing should be affordable as a baseline. If rich people want to add arcades and gold-plated hot tubs on top so be it, but everyone, everyone, regardless of income level, should have access to a clean, comfortable home with enough light and space to make life worth living.
Something loosens and then tightens in his chest cavity. Frank doesn’t respond, trying to breathe through the sudden shock of adrenaline and anxiety pumping through his veins. He can only think of one woman who knows him and fits that description. “Shit.”
“Hang on.” Curtis frowns, then his expression slackens in surprised realization. “Jesus Christ, Frank. Tell me that’s not Karen. The Karen.”
Tatiana Maslany was literally insane for playing like 12 different people with the same face and then interacting with multiple versions of herself for five whole seasons
Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as:
Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit
This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)