mammamaxx

[mammamaxx]

ಠ_ಠ

-Hi, Welcome to MenstruKing. Can I take your order?

-Yes, I’d like a heating pad with a side of midol and a large, diet pepto-bismol.

-Okay, I have your order as painful abdominal cramps, frequent restroom breaks, acne, oily skin and aggravated IBS.

-That sounds about right.

-Okay. Your total is five days of agony and feeling like shit, please pull to the first window. 

[mammamaxx]

theres a new one to watch every time

[mammamaxx]

ಠ_ಠ

-Hi, Welcome to MenstruKing. Can I take your order?

-Yes, I’d like a heating pad with a side of midol and a large, diet pepto-bismol.

-Okay, I have your order as painful abdominal cramps, frequent restroom breaks, acne, oily skin and aggravated IBS.

-That sounds about right.

-Okay. Your total is five days of agony and feeling like shit, please pull to the first window. 

[mammamaxx]

@ovaries

Please chill

[mammamaxx]

what she says: I'm fine

what she really means: I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS LEVEL OF PATRIOTISM HAS COME FROM, BUT MY HEART IS SINGING ABOUT AMERICA'S F R E E D O M

[mammamaxx]

Attention to non American Followers

I am an American and I will be posting patriotic things tomorrow if you don’t like it that’s unfortunate and YOU CAN TALK TO MY BALD EAGLE LINCOLN TO SET UP AN APPOINTMENT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO ME GOODBYE *eagle screech*

[mammamaxx]

AFKGAHSJXUCNDKS ZABSSK

[mammamaxx]

Periods are really not that bad. At worst, they’re an inconvenience. You’re a little uncomfortable, your stomach might hurt every now and then, you could feel a bit down or cranky, but that’s it. I’m sick to death of hearing people complain about the unbearable pain and agony they suffer through every month. If your period and the symptoms that come with it are truly so bad that you are literally unable to move or are throwing up, GO TO THE DOCTOR. Your period is not compulsory, you can go on the pill or other medications to control it or block it altogether. And quit campaigning that women should get the days of their period off school or work - women have been getting on with their lives, period or no period, literally since the beginning of man. Also, stop complaining about ruined clothes - BLOOD RINSES OUT IN COLD WATER.

[mammamaxx]

this doesnt even need a caption… every girl knows what this is…

[mammamaxx]

Things nobody ever tells you about vaginas, so you have to google it to find out it’s perfectly normal:

Vaginal chemistry being acidic enough to bleach your black underwear.

[mammamaxx]

Why girls stress over periods

The constant fear of bleeding through clothes

The constant cramps

Having to change pads/tampons every 2-4 hours

Having to deal with mood swings

Having to deal with boys going ‘Oh someones on their period’ 

When you stand up its like a waterfall from your vagina

Craving food to calm you down

The constant fear that you smell of blood even though you dont 

CRAMPS

Feeling over emotional

CRAMPS

CRAMPS

FUCKEN CRAMPS

[mammamaxx]

So I woke up this morning in a pool of my own blood.

Wait, let me back up.

Hi, my name is Cara and I’m a 21 year old woman. Every 28 days, give or take, I have a period. And it fucking sucks. Today, was one of those where I take from the 28 day cycle. I wasn’t due for another period for at least a week, but considering that my period is pretty much permanently irregular, I get to wake up a lot of mornings in a pool of my own blood. Hmm. Lovely.

I then proceed to dump my sheets, my underwear, and my pajamas in my laundry room in a tub filled with cold water, with the hopes that this time I haven’t ruined them permanently.

What next? Well, a shower of course! To wipe off the smell of rotting blood from my body! Squeaky clean and towel fresh I have about a two minute window before the volcano of blood begins to erupt again from my vagina.

What will it be today? A piece of chlorinated toilet paper cardboard with a string that I get to shove up my hole wherein the blood will sit and rot until the next time I can shove another piece of chlorinated cardboard up the same hole? Or, a plastic lined toilet paper diaper attached to my underwear that causes rug burn to my vaginal area when I walk? Well the later requires less coordination, and it is early, so I guess I’ll be sitting in a period diaper today. The best ever.

Of course, I could always just get birth control, and lessen this whole shit. But 1) I can’t afford it 2) I can’t ask my dad to pay for it because, guess what? Just like the men who run my government, my father correlates birth control with sexual promiscuity! Thus, sitting on my rotting blood, undergoing severe cramps that have on more than one occasion caused me to black out, it is! (Not that birth control is such a walk in the park either, our bodies have to learn to deal with the hormones and other chemicals and consequences that birth control entails.)

Then, I get to go to class, where I have to pretend that I am not a leaky faucet of blood and tissue. I get to sit in Calculus, and if heaven forbid, I need an additional pad, I have to be discrete about it, so as not to offend the men’s gentle sensibilities to the fact that I am the one dropping tissues and blood from my body through my vagina.  

I once asked a male to take me to the pharmacy so that I could pick up (GASP) pads, or as we like to call it “feminine products” (again, so as not to offend the gentlemen’s overly sensitive natures) and had him equate me talking about my period to him talking about his erections.

ARE

YOU

FUCKING

KIDDING

ME

No.

This is nothing like your fucking erection’s. I don’t derive any enjoyment from this. I can’t mentally control any ounce of this entire process. I can’t masturbate my problem away. My period does not end in orgasm.

It stays. For at least five days in my case. Draining blood out of my body. Causing me severe cramps, making me irritable -not because I’m uncomfortable (which mind you, would be reason enough) - but because my hormones are all over the place, bloating me up to two sizes larger than I normally am, I have to actively fight not to smell like a fish market, and on top of that, you want me to be hush-hush about this? Because it’s icky for you?

And this is not an attack on that one man, this is an attack on ALL MEN who on top of sitting on their throne of gender privilege want me to stay quiet and be content about the fact that five days out of every month I get to undergo this happiest of joys.

And then, these very same men have the audacity to get annoyed because we don’t want to listen to their bullshit complaining about traffic? Or whatever other meaningless story they happen to tell us while our bodies are actively fighting against us? Then we get to be the butt of their tired-ass jokes? Sorry, I am most certainly not sorry.

I repeat NO. I say women come out of the period closet and say, “You know what, this happens to me. Every. Fucking. Month. And it’s terrible. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY MORNING.” Because the truth is, if I live in a country where Viagra is covered by medical insurance, but birth control isn’t, I can no longer keep denying that I live in a country that is actively waging a war on women. And if I live in a country that is actively waging war on my sex, the least I am going to do is break patriarchal social propriety to inform anyone and everyone of the shit biological process I was BLESSED enough to be born into.

Hello, my name is Cara, I’m a 21 year old woman, and today I’m on my period. Let me fucking tell you about it.

[mammamaxx]

This magical new underwear could replace tampons and pads 

Menstruation is a natural part of life, but it has long been and continues to be stigmatized. Three women have come up with a way to change all that. Twin sisters Radha and Miki Agrawal and friend Antonia Dunbar innovated THINX underwear, which completely eliminates the need for tampons or pads and could also help in need in the developing world.

[mammamaxx]

Reblog a million times

Clear your mind here

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That’s it that’s the whole show.

[mammamaxx]

fashion encyclopedia: Ashi Studio fall 2015 couture

[mammamaxx]