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[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 27. The final curtain

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Completely back on my bullshit <3

Sorry in advance... Thank you for reading <33

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: Beauracracy, angst, mentions of PTSD, supportive + protective Pietro, Nadia has grown but she's still Nadia <3

Pietro had been keeping a watchful eye on me, scarcely letting me out of his sight. I wasn’t sure what he was more afraid of, me doing something reckless or having another episode. Whatever the case, he remained stuck to me like glue.

When Secretary Ross came in his unmarked SUV, I wasn’t surprised. It had only been a matter of time before the bureaucrats arrived. I sat patiently in the conference room, in anticipation of what was to come. The silence was almost madness-inducing. Thick in the air, even when I was joined by Steve and Tony. I stared straight ahead as the former sat across the table from me, looking directly at me.

“Kid…” Before he had the chance to continue Ross was entering and greeting us with all the usual formality and diplomacy of a government man. It was a conscious effort not to roll my eyes. I tapped my fingers against the table, purposely ignoring the looks that both Steve and Tony were sending me. Ross discussed whatever it was men like him busied themselves with and I waited for the other shoe to drop.

“You did well in Amsterdam, Agent Pimenova. That could have been quite the mess.”

I ignored his words. “Let’s cut to the chase. I am in trouble, yes?”

Tony sighed exasperatedly, presumably at my lack of tact. Ross placed both his hands on the table, clasping them together and exhaling deeply. “This is a rather complicated matter, as I’m sure you’re aware.” I raised an eyebrow at him. “You assaulted a government agent, well… to put it plainly you beat the crap out of a member of my staff.”  I nodded, moving my hands beneath the table, and tapping the pad of my index finger against the cool metal of my chair. “You are a very valued member of the Avengers organization, as well as a hero to this country… However, this latest outburst speaks to a lack of control which is frankly unacceptable.” He unclasped his briefcase, placing two booklets onto the glass table between us. “Of course, this is nothing personal and less than ideal, however, disciplinary action must be taken to ensure that there are no repeats of this incident.”

My finger stopped tapping.

Steve spoke up then. “Secretary Ross, with all due respect, I don’t believe that’s necessary. What happened was unfortunate, but this is the first incident and Nadia regrets her actions.”

“I understand this, Captain, yet your assurance will not be enough in this case.”

“This case? What case is the decision being based on?”

My fingers tightened around the metal of the chair as Ross went on. “Is it true that Miss Pimenova was recently removed from an assignment due to her… current condition?” I closed my eyes for a long moment.

“That was completely unrelated, what happened with your guy was a single indiscretion and she’s a first-time offender, there’s no need to make this bigger than it is.” Tony attempted to reason. I simply remained silent. There was nothing to say, not when I knew Ross’s mind was made up the moment I’d looked him in the eyes.

I barely heard the rest of the conversation, bits and pieces made it though. “Out of control… dangerous… where she was raised...  Anna Prentiss.”

I watched a new sheet of snowfall over the thick blanket that was already smothering the once-green patch just outside the window of the sitting room. A chill had set into the air in the room but still, I sat, goosebumps prickling at my arms as I watched the corners of the window glaze over with frost.

“There you are! We’ve been looking all over for you.” Natasha exclaimed, dropping into the armchair next to me, flanked by Pietro who wore an expectant look as he pulled up a chair to sit before me. I glanced between the two of them with slightly furrowed eyebrows.

“Why?”

They gave each other a look that seemed to be a combination of disbelief and confusion. “We want to know what Ross wanted, obviously.”

I looked passed Pietro, back out the window. “I attacked that other guy who works for him, I’m in the shit house.”

There was silence for a long moment. “Okay… so what does that mean?” Pietro asked. I met his eyes and part of me hoped he could read it in my expression, so I didn’t have to keep talking about it. Maybe he really could. His eyes narrowed slightly, jaw tightening. “What did he say?”

I grit my teeth for a moment, swallowing hard and steeling myself. “I’m going away for a while… Just until I can get my head straight.”

“What the fuck?!” I didn’t even flinch at Natasha’s outburst, unsurprised by her reaction.

“He believes that given my particular… skillset and history, it would be best that they take preventative measures to ensure nothing worse happens.”

“That is completely ridiculous!” Pietro stood abruptly. “They can’t do this… This is unacceptable, someone has to say something! This is just completely-”

Pietro’s words were cut short by my interjection. “I agreed.”

He turned his frantic gaze on me, mouth hanging open. Natasha’s shoulders dropped a little and she remained silent. There was no bewildered gaze on her features. No confusion.

Pietro shook his head. “Anyone would have reacted negatively to being startled like that when they were upset.”

“Not anyone did… I did, Pietro.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Me; the assassin who was raised in the Red Room; the Russian spy.” He opened his mouth to disagree, but I beat him to it. “It would have been worse, had Anna not appealed to them. I got off lightly.”

“So, what, that’s it?” I shrugged. “Nadia, this is bullshit.”

“Yes, it is but this is what’s happening.”

He shook his head, but it was Natasha who spoke next. “Where are they taking you?”

My stomach churned. “I’m not allowed to tell you.” I glanced at the silver-haired man before me. His eyes hadn’t strayed from me for even a second. I wasn’t sure he’d even been blinking. “Either of you.”

He shook his head again. “This is bullshit!” It seemed to be the only thing he could muster.

“Anna will be there and someone Ross has hired as well to make sure there is no bias.”

Nat placed a hand on my shoulder, letting it linger for a moment before she left the room. “How long?” Pietro was at the window now, hands braced on the ledge, back hunched.

“As long as it takes for me to be better.”

“So basically, until they say so?”

I drew in a sharp breath. “Please stop.”  His head dropped between his shoulders at the sound of my voice, I heard it too; the defeat; the exhaustion. “I did a bad thing and so maybe the consequences do not fit the crime, but they are the consequences. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone; all I know is that I’m here now and I don’t want to spend the time before I go being angry.”

He exhaled deeply before standing to his full height and turning to face me. “When are they making you leave?” His voice sounded different. Like he was forcing the words out.

“The day after Christmas.”

He nodded, eyebrows knitting together, fists clenched at his sides. “6 days, how generous.” My eyes were stinging slightly but I wasn’t entirely sure why. It was becoming a little hard to breathe evenly. When I saw the gleaming line that he was attempting to blink away I felt even worse. I didn’t want him to feel bad, about this or anything else.

“You’ll be gone just after me anyway, that’s a whole month where you’ll be too busy to notice I’m gone anyway.”

“I’ll notice.”

I rolled my eyes playfully. “You won’t even be here.”

“Neither will you.”

It was my turn to shake my head. “Jesus, I’m coming back, it’s not a death sentence.”

“Just let me be upset, Nadia.” He moved a little closer to me, a very brief moment of amusement passing over his expression.

The stinging in my eyes was becoming hard to ignore. I blinked again and again to make it go away, but my eyes seemed to have other ideas. “I don’t want you to be upset.”

“Why not?”

“Because I-” My throat felt like it was closing over, and I wasn’t entirely sure what I had been about to say to him. My eyebrows furrowed slightly, and I attempted to swallow the lump in my throat. “I just don’t.”

He smiled but it was tinged with dejection. He brushed a strand of hair from my eyes, tucking it behind my ear. “You know sometimes I think about what it would be like if we’d met under different circumstances.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “What? Like if you and your sister weren’t trying to wage war on the Avengers?”

He rolled his eyes a smile tugged at his lips. “No smartass, like if we weren’t who we are. If we were normal people, no enhancements, no Red Room, just you and me.” His thumb rubbed over my cheek as a small tear streamed down his cheek. “I don’t know, sometimes it’s just nice to think about what it would’ve been like if we got to have that.”

I hadn’t thought about that before. The thought might have crossed my mind, fleetingly of how much easier everything in my life would be if I wasn’t, well, me. However, I’d never let myself linger on the thought too long. Perhaps, I was worried I’d get lost in it.

…

Natasha braced her gloved hands against the punches I threw, I could feel her gaze on me. “I’m not running away,” I spoke between jabs.

“Of course not, and I would never suggest you do… it’s just you have other options, you know that.” The smile on her face was teasing but I could tell by the look in her eyes that there was a pocket of truth beneath the joke.

I rolled my eyes with no real malice. “These are the consequences of my actions; I’m going to face them.”

“They’re bullshit consequences, Nads, Pietro was right about that.”

Her and Pietro had certainly not been the only ones to voice this opinion, the days had been filled with people telling me how unfair it was and prodding me to fight back against the man. “He was. He was right, but I’m not, haven’t been for a while now.” I swiped the beads of sweat from my forehead. “You know I was good at my job when we were in the Red Room, I was good because even if I couldn’t trust other people, I could trust myself, trust my mind. If I can’t even trust that, where does that leave me?”

She shrugged half-heartedly. “You could always trust us.”

I didn’t respond right away, unsure what to say, the truth I knew seemed too difficult to vocalize. So, I deflected. “Do you think I’m making the wrong decision?”

“Only you can decide that.”

I scoffed. “Nice diplomatic answer. What’s the real one.”

“I don’t think there is a right answer. Just what’s right for you and I can’t tell you that.” She was serious then. “There is one thing I can tell you though.” I narrowed my eyes slightly, gesturing for her to continue. “You need to talk to Tony before you go.” She didn’t even entertain my protesting, continuing before the words could even leave my open mouth. “You don’t know how long you’ll be gone; you’re going to regret leaving things where they are.”

“You sound sure,” I spoke facetiously, throwing an especially hard hit against her padded hand.

She rolled her eyes at my antics. “I am sure because I know you and as much as you hate to admit it you care about him. That’s why it hurts so much that he went behind your back.”

I shook my head, giving her an indignant look but not disagreeing. We sat side by side when we’d finished our set, me hunched over as I unwrapped my hands and stretched my tense muscles. I wondered if I’d be allowed to train during this ‘disciplinary’ period. The thought frightened me a little, I’d always trained, always had the chance to spar, or exercise in some capacity. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if that was no longer an option. The thought of dormant muscles and idle hands had my spine straightening and my muscles tightening.  It was all I could think about as I neared the door to the training room, that menial concern began what could only be described as a spiral of others that held much more weight. How long would this go on? What exactly did my discipline entail? How would they measure if I was well enough to return? My heart rate picked up and the moment I became aware of it the worse it got.

“You weren’t that good at your job in the Red Room.” I glanced at her over my shoulder, grateful for the momentary distraction. I raised a solitary eyebrow.  Her lips curved upward. “I mean in the traditional sense of you got the job done, quick and clean, yeah you were good, the best actually… but there was a part of the job you could never do.”

“What’s that?”

She took a sip of her water. “Not care. Our sole objective was to complete the mission, take out the target, no guilt, no remorse. That part you never quite mastered.” There was silence between us for a long moment. Nat’s voice was the last thing I heard before I walked out the door. “Talk to Tony.”

I’d get Christmas, so at least there was that. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was about this Christmas that felt so different. I supposed it was the first time that I’d be spending Christmas with people like this, most other years I was on assignment, usually at my own request. Anna and I would always exchange gifts, but it was usually many months after the fact. It occurred to me as I watched Wanda thread sparkly tinsel through the branches, I’d never seen a tree being decorated like this. I had seen Christmas trees before but never witnessed the sparkly decorations being pulled from a box and hung. I glanced over my shoulder at Pietro to find him already looking. There was a furrow between his eyebrows that had persisted for days, I wished it would go away. His shoulders sagged slightly, and he didn’t need to speak to communicate what he was thinking.

I leaned my head back against his shoulder, momentary surprise appearing on his expression at the action. “I think it would be boring,” I said. Both his eyebrows rose in this sweet, unassuming way that almost made me sad because I’d miss that look. “If we weren’t who we are. Or if we’d met under different circumstances.”

“Boring?”

“Too easy, this has been fun.” I smiled up at him teasingly. “I could’ve done without Ultron and all that but…” He breathed a laugh, his fingers moving to rest on my side, pinky grazing the sliver of skin revealed by my sweater riding up. My muscles eased slightly, the tension in my shoulders melting out as the warmth of his chest seeped into me. “Nothing this good ever comes easily.”

His smile grew, eyes softening somehow. “That’s very sweet.”

“God, I can’t believe I just said something like that. When did I get so soft.”

I felt his lips graze my ear, his finger smoothing over my bare skin. “It’s just because you’re unbelievably hot on me.” I elbowed him in the chest, invoking a pained laugh from the man. When his laughter subsided, he let his hand encase my cheek, stroking it with his thumb. His eyes drew an invisible path over my face, I wondered if he was memorizing my features. Did he worry he’d forget what I looked like? I felt a smile tug at my lips, even though I wasn’t entirely sure why. There was something inexplicable in Pietro’s gaze. Something tender and difficult to read. “Inima mea îți aparține.” That’s what he said to me and then he kissed me, and I almost forgot that I didn’t speak Sokovian. The meaning of the words seemed to seep into my skin even if I didn’t understand them.

I asked him what it meant.

He just smiled again. “I’ll tell you when you get back.”

There it was again in his eyes, a glint of something I couldn’t quite decipher but something that made me exceedingly nervous.

The days seemed to be passing quickly now and that terrified me. The closer it got the more I felt I wasn’t ready. Two days before I was set to leave, I decided to address some of my unfinished business.

I gripped my book tightly between my fingers as I shoved the door to the sitting room open. Tony’s gaze shifted to me; surprise evident on his face. “Make no mistake, I am still mad at you, but to prove I can take the moral high ground I will be civil before I leave. So, we are going to sit in this room, and you are not going to speak lest I feel yet another reason to want to ring your neck, but we will be in each other’s company and that is all. Civility, no?” I dropped down into one of the armchairs with a flourish before cracking the book open and beginning to settle in.

The silence was heavy, tense with the words that Tony, evidently, wanted to speak. In the end, it lasted no more than 15 minutes.

“Pepper and I are on a break, she’s not my biggest fan at the moment, maybe the two of you could start a club or something... I guess I don’t really blame her. We’d been fighting a lot, as you know, because I’m no good at this whole conversation thing, but I figure since you’re pretending I don’t exist this isn’t actually a conversation so who better to practice with.” I didn’t look at him as he spoke, not so much as even acknowledging that I’d heard him. “You were right when you said that not talking about painful things does not make them hurt any less.” I flipped that page of the book, forcing my eyes to scan over the words on the page, attempting to engrain them in my mind, to ignore the words he was speaking. “I think I mentioned that there was someone in my life a long time ago… She’s gone. Well, there’s a little more to it than that. She meant a lot to me, more than I realized was humanly possible. I was such an asshole to her; I mean, you think I suck I can only imagine how she felt.” It took me a while to realize I’d been rereading the same sentence over and over. “I was a teenager and like most, I could be a complete prick when I wanted to. It was my fault… What happened to her.”

I sighed, finally closing the book, but still refused to look at him. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

“It is.” He sounded different then. Less… Tony. There was a sullenness to his tone that I was sure I’d never heard there before, or perhaps I had heard it; once, when he was in the hallway with Rhoadey on his birthday. “I was supposed to be looking after her.”

I looked at him then. He looked tired. “Your mother?”

He met my gaze, eyebrows furrowed like mine. “No. I mean, yeah my mom died as well but that’s now what I’m talking about.”

I remembered hearing about Tony’s parents’ death, it was in my nature to do my homework on the people I work with, or I suppose less my nature, more my training. I’d always assumed he was referring to his mother, that was who I thought he had meant the first time we’d spoken about this in the lab. I had no idea what he was talking about now. “So, who?”

He swallowed thickly, clasping his hands together in his lap. His out-of-character behavior was making me slightly uneasy. Silence sat heavy between us for a long while, when he finally broke it, I was almost startled. “I had a sister.” He paused again. “A little sister. She was… just… everything, to everyone. I was usually the one who looked after her when our parents went out, there was never much point leaving her with a nanny, she was far too smart for that. I think for a while I pretended to mind, but I didn’t, not really. Honestly, I loved being around her. It didn’t feel like babysitting my kid sister because the truth is she was my best friend.” The more he told me the more his voice thinned, it was as though he was physically struggling to get the words out. “At some point, I must have decided that it was a little pathetic to enjoy the company of a child when I was a teenager who could be… I don’t know, partying, I guess. So, I decided it was time to do something for myself. To show my parents and everyone else how grown up I was.” His eyes were gleaming, and it occurred to me that I’d never seen Tony Stark cry before. Though, I supposed he wasn’t now either, not really. He inhaled sharply, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before standing up and walking across the room to stand before the window. “I was supposed to be there. Our parents left me in charge like normal, I was supposed to be looking after her and I left. I walked out the front door and left.” He slid his glasses off, cleaning them gently with a tissue he’d plucked from the box on the side table. They were back on before he spoke again. “By the time I came back our home was surrounded by caution tape and there were police officers and S.H.I.E.L.D. agents-” He gestured around the room, “everywhere.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. So, I nodded and did my best. “I didn’t know that.”

“No. Not many people do.” He shrugged, not meeting my eyes. “Well, there you have it. The one thing I can’t talk about.”

“Tony…”

“I’m sorry… sorry if what I did seemed underhanded and sorry that you felt betrayed by me, but I’m not sorry for what I did.” His words had me raising an eyebrow. “You don’t know when to quit, you just can’t stop, even when it means putting yourself in harm’s way. We have that in common. That is why I don’t regret making the call I did, and I know Rogers feels the same.”

I looked ahead of us again, not responding to his words but not leaving the room either.

The snow was especially heavy on Christmas day, so heavy I wondered if perhaps it would trap us in the compound and I’d get to stay, if only for a few more days. It was a nice thought, but then the nightmares had been worse than ever, and my nerves were fraying from the constant images that taunted me. I knew it wouldn’t be a solution, not really. I didn’t want to know how much worse it would get if I stayed, not really. The cold nipped at my skin as I gazed over Pietro’s sleeping form, the room was still dark, pale light slipping in around the curtains allowing me to see his features. His chest rose and fell ever so slightly, the calmness to the movement assuring me he was still fast asleep. I felt a warm tear stream down my cheek, and I had to turn away from him so I felt as though I could breathe again. My chest was tight when I turned back, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and adjusting the bow that sat atop the gift I’d left on the pillow beside his. Underneath is sat an envelope, the only thing written on it a solitary ‘P’. There wasn’t really any feeling ready or surety that this was right, but I knew it was time. I approached the door on silent feet, stealing one last glance at his sleeping form before slipping out of the room. On the other side of the wall lay my black duffel, already packed and ready for me. The compound seemed different at this time of the morning, still mostly dark and almost completely silent. The only thing I could hear was the thump of my heart and the thoughts rattling around my head. I tightened my coat around myself as I reached the exit, stopping just before the threshold. A deep and, truthfully, slightly shaky breath left me as my shoulders drew together slightly.

“If you’re about to give me a lecture you might as well save your breath. I’m not going to change my mind, Natasha.”

A quiet breath, almost a laugh. “I know.” She paused momentarily. “He’ll be devastated.”

I shut my eyes tightly, feeling like I couldn’t breathe again. “He wasn’t going to give up… He thinks he’s slick, but I perfected the fake acceptance con, it wasn’t over.”

“Nadia.”

“He would have gotten himself into trouble as well and I won’t let him do that, not for me. He will be okay.” Silence again. Another tear fell down my cheek. “Just promise me that you won’t let him come after me. You have to promise me that you’ll keep him out of it.”

When she spoke again it barely sounded like her at all, her voice was quiet and heavy. “Okay… I’ll do that, if and only if you promise me that you’ll look after yourself.”

I gripped the door handle. Squeezing my eyes shut and breathing deeply for a second. If it was this hard now I knew I was making the right call in bowing out before the rest of the awful goodbyes. Not goodbyes; see you soon. That’s what Wanda had said. “I promise.” I glanced back over my shoulder, the first time I’d looked at her during our conversation. Her hair was a little messy, as though she’d just woken up and I could see a line of silver glimmering along her waterline. It was unbearable to see the expression on her face. I swallowed heavily, grip tightening further on the cold metal. “See you soon.” Her lips downturned and I forced myself to turn back to the door, forced myself to walk through it out into the bitter cold.

A black SUV awaited me, stark against the blanket of white that covered the ground. The car ride to the airstrip was silent save for the government agent’s initial greeting and the barely audible hum of the radio.

To keep myself anchored to reality, somewhat sane I thought of the letter I’d written to Pietro, I’d gone over it so many times that I was sure the contents were etched in my brain permanently, even if I tried I’d likely never rid myself fully of it.

‘Dear Pietro,

Hi. I don’t know why I’m saying hi I’ve already said Dear Pietro but I’ve written it now so what does it really matter, I guess.

If you’re reading this, I’m already gone. It’s shitty I know.

Sorry.

I knew that you would not have given up so easily, you would have put up a fight and tried to stop me from going again. You would have told me we could figure all of this out together and that we’d deal with it together. Goodbyes are fucking awful as it is, and I didn’t a fight to be the note we left on.

Now you’re probably saying that’s bullshit and maybe it is.

The truth is if I had to look you in the eyes, I’m not sure I would have left. My head is a jumbled mess right now and I’m barely functioning anymore, so I don’t think I’d have had the fight in me to go against you.

That might be weak and selfish, but it is the truth. I’m not good at communicating what I’m feeling and I’m fucking awful at goodbyes.

So, this is what I leave you.

I’m sorry.

Inima mea îți aparține

P.S. If that means something bad, sorry but you did that to yourself.’

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 26. Giselle

Previous chapter

Masterlist

I hope you all enjoy this update, very sorry they have been so few and far between! I'm hoping to be back on track now and the updates should be more consistent <3

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: Canon typical violence, mentions of PTSD, Nadia knows how to hold a grudge, supportive + protective Pietro

I sat at the breakfast table, turning over a single piece of strawberry with my fork. Pietro was going on assignment in a week, the assignment that we were supposed to be going on together, the assignment that I was taken off of. He didn’t know that yet. I’d tried to tell him more than once, but the timing just never seemed right. He was struggling with the article he’d read in the newspaper and everything it had brought to the surface. I could see it in his eyes, there seemed to be a thin intangible cloud over him now, a shadow over his eyes that hadn't been there before.

The cold metal between my fingers had become warm from the grip I’d maintained around it. Everything felt like it was falling apart and these stupid fucking visions refused to let up. Steve reassigned the mission a week ago and I’d barely slept since I was beginning to think I was incapable of it now. Maybe I’d never sleep again. Most of my time was spent avoiding the others, I’d go to the training room late, when everyone had turned in for the night and I’d eat meals separately. It wasn’t a matter of anger, well not entirely, I just needed to be alone. Pietro had been having more nightmares than usual as well, they were usually about Sokovia but sometimes they were about Strucker’s experimentation. It made my stomach twist and churn, the thought of him being in pain but at least it gave me something else to focus on. When we were talking, or even when I was just listening, I only thought of him and what he felt; it was a nice break.

The sound of the chair across from me scrapping against the floor caught my attention. Dark facial hair filled my line of sight. “So, what now?” I chose to ignore his words. “You’re just never going to speak to me again? Instead, you’ll spend your days skulking around the compound mad at the world?” Anger simmered in me, but I simply looked down at the strawberry that I’d been poking at with my fork. “I’ll be honest, I’m a little disappointed. I know you can do better than the silent treatment.”

“It isn’t the silent treatment; I just have nothing to say to you.”

“Or anyone else it seems.”

I stabbed the strawberry. “Don’t you have a home to go to?”

He shrugged. “Yes actually, I’m going there now, just saying goodbye and all that.”

“Goodbye,” I spoke, not an ounce of warmth in the tone as I stood from my seat and dumped my now empty plate in the sink.

“You’re being very childish right now; it’s not making me regret my decision.” I clenched my hands at my side but before I had the chance to say anything voices filled my head.

“You’re a child.” The word seemed to drip with venom.

I clenched my fist tighter, forcing my feet to move beneath me and carry me from the room. My head felt like it was spinning as the voices continued, muffled, jumbled incoherent but maddening, nonetheless. Flashes of light blinded me; the door was thrown open hands grabbing me. There were gunshots all around me and I could feel the way my heart thumped against my chest. I shook my head, it’s not real. I had to cover my ears because they were so loud. Another pair of hands grabbed me then, shaking me roughly. The covers were being ripped off of me and the light from the door was still blinding me as a large figure loomed over me. I grabbed the side of his neck pulling him down and slamming my knee into his stomach, before elbowing him in the side of the head and falling to the ground to punch him but before I could move my arm was grabbed by someone else within seconds I was pulled from the man. I thrashed in the hold, but they pinned me quickly. It was then that the shouting cleared in my ears, finally coherent. It was a familiar voice, actually more than one. When I opened my eyes, I saw red hair and frantic eyes above me. Nat pinned me down, calling me again and again. My chest was rising and falling rapidly; body still tense. I saw Pietro at her side uninjured, with an immensely concerned expression on his face. When I looked to the side, I saw an unfamiliar man holding out a United States government clearance badge, his other hand covering his nose that was nose pouring blood all over his white button-up. My body loosened, fists unclenching. Jesus Christ, what was wrong with me? When she felt me go limp, Natasha let me go, pulling me to my feet as she stood.  

“Are you okay?” She asked, just as Pietro stepped forward to take my hand.

“What the hell is going on here?!” Steve spoke, emerging from the kitchen flanked by Sam and Tony. I swallowed heavily.

The bleeding man pointed accusingly at me. “She attacked me.”

“You shouldn’t have grabbed her like that!” Pietro immediately snapped stepping in between the agent and me.

“She’s psychotic.” Steve grabbed Pietro before he could launch forward at the man and that was when Tony intervened.

“Let’s all just take a beat here-”

“It was my fault.” I intervened, all eyes on me now. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled, glancing at the man who was dabbing at his nose with a handkerchief. He didn’t seem particularly forgiving. I pulled away from Natasha and walked quickly down the corridor.

Pietro was in front of me when I turned the corner, eyes furrowed with concern. “What’s going on, Nadia?”

When I swallowed it, it felt like there were shards of glass in my throat. “Please, I just need to be alone, Pietro.” He furrowed his eyebrows opening his mouth to continue. “I’m okay, or I will be… just let me be alone for a while. That’s what I need. That’s what I want.”

A long moment passed between us, it was evident that he didn’t want to leave me, that turning away was a war for him. “Will you please come and talk to me later?”

I nodded, turning and stopping for a beat, one step in front of him. His fingers grazed mine and I had to walk away, or I wasn’t sure I would.

The door to the study hit the wall when I threw it open, stopping only a few feet into the room.

“I want them gone. I want you to get rid of them.”

Wanda looked at me with slightly wide eyes, a little startled by my abrupt appearance. “Get rid of what?”

“Everything.”

She closed the book then and placed it aside. “Okay.” Her eyebrows were furrowed. I dropped into the chair across from her. “Could you maybe be a little more specific?”

“I don’t understand what I’m seeing but I feel like I’m losing my mind, I want whatever it is gone, if I have to forget it then let’s do that. Whatever it takes just get rid of it.”

It was late when I went to talk to Pietro, part of me expected him to already be asleep, perhaps I’d hoped he would be. I could hear Wanda’s voice echoing through my mind as I walked down the hallway.

“This won’t be easy. I’ve never really done something like this before, so it is going to take a while. I don’t know how to select the root of the things you’re seeing without filing through the rest of your mind.”

Uncertainty was evident in her gaze when I looked at her. “Whatever it takes,” I repeated the phrase to her, the same one I’d been saying to myself over and over.

Pietro wasn’t asleep when I entered the room, though he didn’t look far from it. The circles around his eyes were darker than normal and his eyelids were drooping. He livened up ever so slightly when I entered the room. “You look tired,” I stated plainly, wringing my fingers together.

He shrugged. “I am.” I remained planted in my spot as if he might forget I was there at all if I were still enough. “We still need to talk about what happened; you know I won’t let it go until you tell me what’s going on with you.”

“He just… He got me at a bad time, Tony and I were arguing and then that agent startled me. I shouldn’t have reacted like that but I’m fine.”

“He startled you?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

There was silence for a long while, Pietro’s eyes never leaving me as he assessed each freckle and twitch. “He startled you?”

“That is what I said, Pietro.”  There was no real bite to my tone, despite my words.

“Yes, I know but I think you’re full of shit.” I raised an eyebrow at him, and he ran a hand over his face. “When has anyone ever been able to sneak up on you before? You said it yourself the only reason I’ve ever had the element of surprise with you was because of my enhancement. Now you want me to believe that some idiot in a suit managed to take you by surprise?”

I shrugged at him this time.

“That’s all you have to say, really? He caught you at a bad time, that much is obvious and if it was because he touched you, I’d understand reacting but… but what happened was not you, Nadia.”

“Well, maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

He shook his head. “Don’t start this again. Not tonight, please.” His words were gentle, exhaustion heavy beneath them.

“Fine. You’re right, I’m sorry but I don’t want to talk about this now. I know that is not what you want to hear but that’s the truth. I’m tired and today has been a complete shitshow so I’d really like to just go to sleep and it’s pretty clear that you need the sleep just as much as me.” I crossed my arms over my chest and exhaled deeply. “So, you can either let it go for now and just accept that it was a bad day or stay up and keep festering on it all night, either way I’m going to bed. My bed.”

His jaw tightened and he looked away from me, out toward his window where pale moonlight filtered around the side of his half-open curtains. I was half out the door by the time he spoke again, it was quiet, resigned though there was an undertone of displeasure, perhaps even irritation in it. “Goodnight, Nadia.”

…

My heart was thudding in my ears when Wanda sat down before me. She’d asked me if I was sure no less than 10 times since I’d stepped foot in the study. I told her I was, but there was a small, niggling voice at the back of my mind that seemed to call out to me. Waving its hand frantically to get my attention. She rubbed her hands together for a moment before stopping and looking up at me. “Nadia, are you sure?”

I swallowed heavily, silencing the voice before responding. “It’s fine. Just do it.” Whatever it takes. I gripped the sides of the chair slightly as I felt her enter my mind. It was a strange itch of discomfort behind my temples and then things were pulled forward.

For a while there was nothing. Nothing but her concentrated face before me, red tendrils emanating from her hands that hovered either sit of my forehead, the strange beams dancing across my flesh. “Tell me what you see, and I’ll try to move through quickly until I find the right area.” Her eyes were glowing red, and it was not lost on me just how ludicrous it seemed to invite her into my mind after I’d spent so long guarding it from anyone who might try to take a peek. After I’d been so disturbed by her looking in last time. At some point I closed my eyes, the darkness a strange comfort to me.

In support group, I’d heard people talk about associating a certain smell with a memory, like the aroma of freshly baked bread reminding them of being back at their grandmother’s home in the winter months. I never really understood that until now.

It was petrichor like rain and the faint smell of smoke. A splash of someone’s boots in the sludge and I was no longer sitting before Wanda in the study.

The only word to describe Moscow in the bowels of winter was frigid. A flash of blonde hair caught my eye between the trees. Yelena. I pressed my back to a flaking trunk, boots sliding slightly against the frozen ground. A single deep breath and closed eyes allowed me to focus on each distinct sound around me, the crunch of snow beneath her footfalls alerted me to her location. I waited patiently until I was sure she was close before launching outward. With my legs wrapped around hers we tumbled to the ground, we tumbled and sparred until she managed to get on top of me, pressing my face into the bitter snow.

I clenched my hands into fists, shutting my eyes tightly.

“This isn’t it. This is real, a memory.” In a second, I was out of the snow.

Cold, spindly fingers ran across my shoulder blades. A measuring tape was wrapped around my waist tightly. Matron Katerina scribbled numbers on her sheet, a consistent look of discontent present across her features.

I shook my head and Wanda pulled me out.

The smell of cigarettes and the prod of a wooden cane against my spine. “Stand up straighter,” Saskia said. The sharp burn of the cane against my calves had me shaking my head again.

“It’s the Red Room, this isn’t it.”

“Okay,” Wanda spoke. “Do you want to keep going?”

“Yes, it’s fine.”

Freshly baked bread seared my flesh as I hobbled toward a train headed anywhere other than Russia. I felt death creeping upon me as I lay, barely conscious, in the train car the rise of the sun and rocking of the vessel over the tracks were the only things anchoring me to reality.

When I shook my head, I was suddenly in the apartment in Berlin with Anna, a cold sweat spattered across my forehead which she soothed with a bowl of cool water.

I stretched my arms as much as the restraints allowed. Anna had insisted upon taking them off, but I’d refused, not trusting myself when the red was still living at the precipice of my mind. Abeni was resting in another room after a particularly trying night.

I shook my head yet again. It went on like this for what felt like hours. I relived meeting Nick Fury, the Red Room, Abeni’s treatments, and my S.H.I.E.L.D. assignments. It was all my memories laid out before me and nothing of the visions that had been slowly deteriorating my sanity for weeks now.

My back slammed into the hospital wall as Steve bunched my shirt in his hands. “Tell me what happened to Fury?”

“I don’t fucking know.” I seethed.

“Oh really, because it doesn’t seem like much ever takes you by surprise, Pimenova.”

I glared at him, not flinching as he accused me of being a double agent. “Let. Go.”

I shook my head and then it was a metal hand clenching around my throat, slamming me through a flimsy wooden table.

My eyes were narrowed, confusion seeping through me as I realized he was not here to drag me back to the Red Room. “Who the fuck are you working for Barnes?” He seemed to falter when I spoke. Some peculiar flash of recognition tainted with confusion passed over his face, his hand loosening just slightly on my neck but it was enough for me to slam my foot into the center of his chest and slip away.

When I was pulled out of the memory the next one had me pausing, Pietro’s face above mine as he restrained me in the snow, that cheeky smirk present even before we knew each other.

“You are very pretty. Although, you’re quite mean and you seem to have some anger management problems… that might actually make you more attractive. It’s hard to say.”

I shook my head slowly, fingers tightening around the arm of the chair. “It’s too recent.” The way I spoke you’d think I was realizing it in real time. Wanda pulled me from the memories letting me just sit with her in the room for a second. I took a deep breath, swallowing down my hesitations. “If we’re going to do this you have to go back… All the way.”

She looked unsure but nodded nonetheless, slowly bringing her hands back up. My eyes darted between them, the red enveloping me until I let my eyes shut again. There was darkness and quiet and then… nothing. I waited and waited but it never changed. I opened my eyes to see Wanda’s own closed, eyebrows knitted together, exertion clear on her face. “What’s happening?” She shook her head, eyelids creasing as she closed them even tighter.

“I’m trying to go back but… I can’t.”

I asked her what she meant.

“It’s like your mind won’t let me pass, like there’s an invisible fence blocking me out. Nothing else was hard to access, they were all right there, even the older memories there wasn’t resistance.” She opened her eyes, dropping her hands to her lap for a moment. “Let’s try this a different way. Just try to focus on opening your mind to let me in, we can go through the steps together, you unlock the doors and I’ll come through. Does that make sense?”

“Not even slightly.”

She sighed heavily. “Just close your eyes and relax, we’ll figure it out as we go.” I followed her instructions, letting my back rest against the seat and trying my very best to let the tension slip from my muscles. The darkness was engulfing me, and I sat wondering how the hell to open my mind to her. I let out another deep breath, letting the grip I’d maintained on the arm rest loosen. The one thing I could remember from my stint of seeing psychiatrists, ordered by Fury when I was a new recruit, was to imagine my body was melting into whatever surface I was sitting on. It was supposed to help me soothe the rage I was filled with… or something. Dr. Stanley had said to let my arms go limp and then focus on letting my legs drop once my body was effectively melted stop focusing altogether and let yourself be completely untethered and uncontrolled for a moment. I tried it, letting my shoulders drop. Still, there was nothing and a twinge of frustration ran down my neck but then something changed. I heard something so faint and I distinct that it was hard to tell if it was a sound from the compound or if Wanda was getting somewhere. I chose to keep it to myself until I’d deciphered what it was. Then another sound erupted, like music maybe, but it was only a second and then it was gone. I heard Wanda tsk and mutter something in Sokovian. “I still can’t get through, it’s like I’m rebounding off of a wall each time. I don’t know where it’s pushing me, but it almost feels like it’s redirecting me, like a magnet pulling me in another direction.”

I shut my eyes tighter. “Keep trying… Please.”

She did. For a long while there was still nothing; until there wasn’t.

The stage, a tight leotard and tutu skirt, shoes that made my toes ache, and music, loud, booming, classical filling my ears. Swan Lake; Dreykov in the front row watching. I twirled and twirled until my feet went out beneath me and when I hit the hard floor I was in a different dress, white and flowy with cap sleeves and tulle. I smoothed a hand over my hair, realizing it was pinned back, flowers at the top. My heart was thumping against my sternum, the only thing I could feel. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead as I looked out toward the audience but there was only darkness and when I blinked it was as though the whole scene glitched, a scratching sound, and suddenly the picture shifted before coming back into focus. I moved slowly to my knees, standing up to move closer to the lip of the stage. But it was as though an invisible wall had appeared, fencing me in and keeping me in a square at the center of the stage. A loud sound echoed through the otherwise silent room, it was only then that I realized there had previously been no sound, not just a quiet room but as if the entire scene were on mute. Suddenly sound exploded around me, classical again but a different tune. This was not Swan Lake; I was supposed to dance Swan Lake, that was Dreykov’s favorite; that was the ballet I had to perform. The music continued, so loud it drowned out my racing pulse and thoughts. I squinted to see who was in the audience, but I could not make it out. My next blink had everything shifting again, the static sound, the glitchy vision, and then I was no longer on the stage but watching someone else twirl around and around. She died in the ballet and that’s when I realized what I was watching.

Giselle.

I was standing in the space between the first row of seats and the stage, watching intently as the dancer moved across the stage. It was like I couldn’t speak; I’d open my mouth and no words would come out. She stopped right before me, right at the edge of the stage and I reached out to her as far as my arm could go but before I managed to touch her a black-gloved hand snatched my wrist and pressed it against cold metal. When I looked up Giselle was gone and only a grey static-filled TV screen remained. It sat on a trolley that was shoved out of the way and replaced by a man in black-framed glasses. The man who had been haunting me. He narrowed his eyes, inspecting every inch of my face before standing back to his full height and fiddling with my hair. I was completely still, afraid to move, though I wasn’t entirely sure why. When he bent down again I saw his eyes, dark grey, or maybe they were brown, it seemed to change each time I looked at him. He opened his mouth but what came out was garbled, inaudible. When I didn’t respond he stood, disappearing from my line of sight, which was very little beyond what was directly in front of me. I attempted to turn my head but there was resistance.

When he returned things got a little fuzzy.

“Tell me your name.” Then the static was back. I didn’t hear myself respond. Giselle returned to the screen music filling my ears. As hard as it was, I fought to cling to the image, fought to stay in it.

“Tell me your name.”

“Nadia Morozova.” I heard it this time. Clear as day. The voice was small and barely even sounded like me, but I knew it was.

“And where were you born?”

“Russia.”

“Where were you born?” His voice was like ice, and it made me shrink into my chair.

“St. Petersburg.” I clarified.

“Where are your parents?”

The static came back then. I gritted my teeth as a deafening ringing began in my ears. Gripping the sides of the seat as it continued. I wasn’t entirely sure if the sound was happening in my mind or in real life. Giselle was twirling across the screen before me again. I was hypnotized by the liquid movement of her dress, curving to her every maneuver.

“That’s it!” It was Wanda’s voice then. “I’m getting through hold on to what you’re seeing, Nadia.” Her words sounded rough like she was in pain. I gripped onto the image with everything I had, fighting to stay there.

“Tell me your name.”

“Nadia Morozova.”

“Where were you born.”

“St. Petersburg.”

Giselle was spinning so fast it seemed almost impossible. The music was getting louder and louder to the point it seemed like it was going to blow my eardrums out.

“You’ll keep watching until you get all the answers right.”

I gripped my head, the music was becoming unbearable, and I was getting dizzy.

“Where are your parents.”

The leotard was too tight, I wanted it to be Giselle again, why did I have to dance?

“Subject 114…”

“My name is Nadia Morozova; I was born in St. Petersburg on the 7th of November, and I am an orphan.”

The man in the glasses injected something into my neck before grabbing ahold of my chin and inspecting my face, perhaps looking at my eyes. It made my head get fizzy and heavy.

“What is your name?”

“My name is Nadia Morozova.” I couldn’t breathe. “I never knew my parents.”

The man was gone, and I was staring up at the familiar black ceiling, the Red Room. I struggled against the body that lay beneath me, the girl’s arms cutting my air supply. I knew I was stuck, but I refused to tap, searching for a way out instead. My vision was greying, becoming cloudy.

The more time went by, the less there I was. Soon they were different arms, tight around me in a different way. Arms that had no intention of causing me harm, arms that were warm with comfort, that warded off the bad. My head rested against someone’s chest movement disorienting me. Rocking, I realized eventually, we were rocking side to side.

“Stars shining bright above you.” It was back again only this time it was different, quieter, a soft hum against my ear. “Night breezes seem to whisper, ‘I love you’” A kiss was pressed to my temple. I had to squint as the sunlight dappled brightly through leaves, warming my skin, whiteness all I could see. There was a breeze that traveled through the strands of my hair, and I could smell… Jasmine and sandalwood. A strand of blonde hair dusted over my cheek tickling my flesh. Not my hair, I realized as I looked back. Things became jilted then, unsteady and barely there.

“I’ve got it, you’re right there, I think I can get rid of it,” Wanda spoke up.

“What’s wrong, darling?” Soft, adoring, a voice I’d heard before. The American woman who sings to me in dreams. I was small in her arms, but I still couldn’t see her face.

“I’ve nearly got it… I’m going to pull it out at the root.”

“He’s just… intensely passionate about what he does, he always has been. He loves his work.” The warmth from her chest radiated onto me. A smooth hand moved up and down my forearm. “But he doesn’t love it more than you. How could he? You mean everything to him, you and-”

“Stop!” I shouted. Barely even registered what I was saying. The moment faltered. I stood so abruptly I was surprised the seat stayed upright.

Wanda looked startled, her eyes turning back to their normal shade. “What happened? Are you okay?”

I ran a shaky hand through my hair, swallowing heavily. “I’m fine, I-” It was as though I was out of breath and still struggling to bring air into my lungs. “I just don’t want to do this anymore. Sorry for making you work so hard.” I braced myself on the back of the chair.

“Don’t be sorry. You seemed pretty sure that you wanted me to get rid of it all, what changed your mind?”

Another voice entering the room startled me. “What the hell is going on?!” Pietro. I hadn’t even heard him come in. His eyes were wide with what appeared to be a mixture of disbelief and utter concern. He saw the red tendrils creeping around Wanda’s hands. “What exactly were you getting rid of?”

Wanda stepped forward. “I was just trying to help.”

“Help?! Really?” His chest heaved; eyes wild as he glanced between the two of us. “How exactly is wiping your mind helping?”

She narrowed her eyes at him, but I saw her wringing her hands.

“Just stop, Pietro! I’m the one who made this decision. It’s my responsibility. So, if you’re going to yell at someone, yell at me.”

“Oh, I’ll get to you.” He spoke pointedly before turning back to Wanda. “Right now I’m still waiting to hear what the hell you were thinking.”

I rolled my eyes heavily, glancing at Wanda who gave me a knowing look before slipping out of the room. Pietro watched her leave, exasperation evident across his features. “You need to take it down like 80 percent.”

“No! Not until you tell me why you would do something like this.”

“Because I’m losing my fucking mind, Pietro! Do you not get that? I can’t sleep or train or just have a day where I’m not overcome with these strange… things.” My eyes were stinging as I watched him, my heart still thumping against my chest, exhaustion making a home in my bones.

“What are you talking about? The nightmares?”

“It’s more than just that now.” I shook my head, laughing humorlessly. “Steve reassigned the mission because he doesn’t trust me to get it done. Honestly, I don’t trust me either right now.”

A tear steamed down my cheek and before I had time to process it Pietro had engulfed my face with his hands, standing before me now with eyes so soft they looked like they were melting.

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” He shook his head. “I-I didn’t know any of this, I just thought… you have nightmares, we both do I never thought that things had gotten so bad. I had suspicions that you were keeping something from me after what happened the other day, but I didn’t... Why didn’t you tell me?”

Another tear followed the first and I let it, allowing my clenched fists to loosen. Slowly I moved them to slide over his arms, his hands still holding my face, stoking my cheek tenderly. “I didn’t tell you…” I closed my eyes for a long moment, swallowing heavily. “I didn’t tell you because I was scared.”

“Scared of what.” His voice was soft, quiet; just for me.

“Scared because I don’t know what’s happening to me. Because I might really be going crazy, and I know you think I’m not but you’ve always been too nice to me.”

He shook his head again, forehead pressing to mine. “You deserve everything I am to you and more, Nadia. You are not going crazy, and even if you were I meant what I said to you.” Another tear. “Steve does trust you, of course he does, we all do. Especially me. It’s okay that you’re scared but we will figure it out together, you can’t just go doing things like this.” He gestured around the room and then smoothed his hand over my temples and hair. “Please just… I need you to just talk to me about these things you can’t put yourself in danger like this, I-I…” He was stumbling over his words, struggling to get them out and his eyes were glassy now. “I need you to be okay, Nadia. I can’t lose you too. I can’t do it.”

We were so close that our air was shared. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, unsure what he meant but when I saw the look in his eyes, the immense fear and the sadness that had, evidently, been with him since he was young, I brought my hands up to his cheeks, mirroring the way he held me.

“You’re not going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere. I just need my mind back.”

He nodded against my forehead. I let my eyes fall closed still resting in his embrace. There was near silence around us for a long while, the only sound our breaths. My mind whirred as I went over and over the things I’d seen. I was utterly terrified, struggling to speak it aloud, lest I breathe life into the thought. But then Pietro’s grasp was gentle and solid all at once, warm and safe and I exhaled again.

“I don’t think they’re just visions anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I remember the Red Room. I dream about it, I can see it in my mind. I remember it because I lived it.” My hands dropped from his cheeks and his fell from mine, moving down my arms to hold my hands. “The other things I don’t remember as clearly but they’re still there with my other memories.” The second the words left my mouth my heart was racing again, and I felt panic set into my chest. I took a deep breath and instead of shutting my eyes, I looked at Pietro.

He was seemingly taking in my words, nodding gently. “So, we’ll figure that out too.” His thumb rubbed back and forth across my cheekbone and somehow it lessened the twisting, white-hot feeling that had been setting into my stomach. There was silence again for a moment before he spoke up. “Does this mean we can sleep in the same bed again?”

I laughed gently. Wrapping my arms around him in a tight embrace, needing to feel his presence here, now, more than ever.

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 25. Sweet or sour

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Hello, its been a while since you last heard from me, sorry about that life has been a little hectic.

Pietro is back! Things are spiralling out of control :D

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: Pietro being sweet, angst (par for the course), depictions of and allusions to PTSD

I picked at my nails nervously. My feet seemed to move of their own volition, and I realized then that I was pacing the floor. The sound of the roof opening stopped me in my tracks as the jet was lowered into the cavernous room. I watched through the glass for a moment, eyes peeled as the roof closed and the jet door began to open. Without a second thought, I was through the door and padding toward the huge vehicle. Pietro’s silver hair appeared as he began to descend the stairs, lips upturning when he met my gaze. He was before me in the blink of an eye, hand coming up slowly to cradle my cheek.

“Hello, Prinţesă.”

I raised a solitary eyebrow at him. “Really?”

“I am tired, and everything hurts, are you really going to play cold and make me beg?”

A little smile tugged at my lips but despite myself I took a little step closer to him, leaning my head into his hand. “Are you okay.”

“I am now.” He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead; the sensation warmed me inside and out. He pressed a second kiss against the flesh right before my ear. “And just for the record… I would have begged for you.” I rolled my eyes smiling at him as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear before pressing a soft kiss against my lips.

“What, no hug and kiss for me?” Sam taunted as he stepped off the jet.

The look Pietro sent him over his shoulder had the man raising his hands in defense and snorting a laugh. “What did you get up to whilst I was gone?”

My smile faltered at his words. The nightmares had only gotten worse, the strange visions during the days, I worried that they would interfere with my ability to partake in missions if they progressed any further. I forced a small smile, shrugging at him. “Nothing interesting.”

He smiled back at me, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes, he knew something was wrong. “Well, I missed you.” I wiggled my eyebrows at him, turning and beginning toward the next room. “Even if you won’t say it back because you’re too tough, I’ll still tell you how much I missed you. Because I did.” I shot him a look over my shoulder. “I missed that look especially, I missed your pretty face and how funny you find my jokes…” As much as I attempted to bite back a snort, a quiet part of it broke through. I could feel Pietro hot on my heels as he continued to reel off all the things, he missed about me. “I missed your eyerolls and how irritated you pretend to be with me, and when you say mean things to me in Russian.”

I turned back to him, smirking slightly. “I don’t say mean things about you.”

“Liar.” He poked my cheek. “Oh, and by the way I googled that thing you called me the other day, and I was right. It was mean.”

“I’m very sorry, I won’t say it again. Besides, I have plenty of other names to call you.”

He ran his thumb over my bottom lip. “I bet you do.” I opened my mouth to spit a retort at him, but his lips were on mine before I could get the words out. “In fact, I’d rather like to hear some of those names now.” He walked us backward in the direction of his bedroom causing me to laugh yet again.

“You have to debrief with Cap.”

The groan he let out was so childlike it could more accurately be described as a whine. “But I don’t want to.”

I shrugged at him. “I don’t make the rules, Prinţesă.” A smirk spread across his lips at my words, a little pinch meeting my side causing me to swat at his hand. I pushed the strands that had fallen into his face away, he needed a haircut, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like him like this. For a moment I just stood there with him, letting my eyes travel over his face as his arms wound around my shoulders, holding me to him. He had a little white scar just above his eyebrow that I’d noticed before but never thought I’d miss seeing. I had the urge to say his name just because it felt like it had been so long since I’d spoken it. The thought was bizarre to me. It’s just a name, and anyway he’d only been gone for a week. I wasn’t sure I’d ever really needed anyone before, and maybe I didn’t really need him, but I didn’t know what it was like to want someone around so badly until he wasn’t there and all I could do was think about how it had felt when he was. My thumb traced back and forth over one spot on his cheek, it was smooth, and I liked the way it felt. “I missed you too, Pietro.”

His lips upturned, and he pressed another kiss to my lips. “Can you repeat that for me, I need it on video.” I rolled my eyes yet again and shoved him away, biting back my laughter. “Wait, no, come back! I’m sorry!”

…

When I’d finally corralled Pietro into the conference room I parted from him to help Natasha prepare lunch.

“You made sure Loverboy got home safe and sound?”

I sent her a glare over my shoulder and continued chopping. “I was just making sure he wasn’t in multiple pieces.”

She laughed at my words. “You don’t have to lie; I think it’s sweet how much you care about him. I’ve never seen you like that with anyone before, you deserve to have that.”

I was very quiet then, watching my own hand intently as it moved. “You do too.” Before she could respond Sam and Cap entered the room, plopping down at the dining table. Practically before the thought had time to cross my mind I was engulfed by the smell of Pietro as his warm arms wrapped around me. Chest to my back, with his chin resting atop my shoulder.

“What are you making?”

“Soup, I think, I have no idea, I just came in here and the bossy redhead put me to work.”

Nat pointed the knife in her hand at me. “That’s rude, and don’t pretend you weren’t begging to help make food for your speedy over there.”

Pietro snorted, pressing a kiss to the skin of my neck. “You’re very sweet.” He murmured into my ear. “But to be honest I think I might like to eat something else.”

A sharp elbow to his rib had his laughter growing, Cap and Sam glancing over with furrowed eyebrows. “By the way you two, there’s another assignment I’m looking into. You make a good team; I think you’ll breeze through it.”

Pietro pretended to flick some hair over his shoulder. “I do tend to breeze.”

I rolled my eyes heavily at him.

“Please send them as a team, they’re both worried-sick puppies when the other is gone.” Sam groaned. The glare I sent him was glacial, but he merely smiled in response. As the other chuckled.

Pietro barely left my side the rest of the afternoon, sitting right next to me as we ate; not that I was complaining and the third time my knee grazed his he smoothed his hand over the flesh, resting my leg flush against his. Neither of us commented on the contact, but strangely enough it had ease filling me.

That night when darkness bathed my room, and the only sounds were the light cityscapes played by F.R.I.D.A.Y and Pietro soft breaths the fanned over my neck, we still remained close. His arms wrapped tightly around my torso, legs intertwined, his nose nuzzled into the back of my neck. That was how I fell asleep, warm, and held.

Stars shining bright above you.

Night breezes seem to whisper ‘I love you’

“I love you.” A voice hummed, sweeping the hair from my forehead.

The room was white, sterile and I couldn’t move. I glanced around, there was a metal tray filled with medical instruments and a black screen before me. Slowly the screen filled with ballerinas, one step two step, fouetté, pirouette. I shut my eyes tightly, they were burning from the white lights.

Birds singin’ in the sycamore tree…

I was rocking back and forth.

While I’m along and blue as can be…

When my eyes opened again the man was before me in the glasses, he turned my face with two fingers, the strange smoothness of the latex glove making my skin crawl. Something sharp pressed to my neck and then every was black again.

The sound of muffled voices reached my ears, then clattering like objects being thrown and furniture upturned. When the door opened it was so bright, I had to shield my eyes. When they opened again, I was being blinded by different lights. Stage lights. The leotard I wore was suffocating and the tights were scratchy. I danced anyway; Swan Lake was Dreykov’s favorite.

I spun and spun until suddenly arms wrapped around me, yanking me back. With every passing moment I was moving between places. First, I was on stage then the clattering was back and I was being yanked up roughly. I thrashed around in the arms, doing everything to free myself but then I was small again. The lights glinted on a glass statue just before me. I reached so hard it hurt my shoulders, nearly, nearly…

Stars shining bright above you…

“Nadia.”

Birds singin’… Dream a little dream of me…

“Nadia wake up.”

“Nadia!” I thrashed in the arms that held me down, swinging my arms around and kicking my feet out. “Hey, hey, Nadia stop, please.” The voice cut through the music, and then it was familiar hands that held me, gentle as one pushed the hair out of my face and the other held my clenched fists before it could make contact. I followed the path between my hand in his, eyes beginning to burn as I returned fully to consciousness, orienting myself to the familiar room, the familiar sounds, the familiar man before me.

I shook my head, opening my fist instantly. “I’m sorry.” I shook my head again, pulling my hand back to press it into my chest until it hurt. “I’m sorry.” I repeated.

When the hair was out of my face his hand caressed my cheek gently, wiping the cold sweat from my forehead. “Don’t apologize.” I turned my head, unable to meet his eyes. My heart was thrumming against my sternum, the shallow breaths I took not seeming to stick. “Look at me.” I didn’t his hand brought my face back to his. “Nadia, please, look at me.” When I did, I felt a hot tear fall over my waterline, streaming across my temple. “Whatever it was… it was just a dream, it can’t hurt you, Draga mea.” He swiped the tear with his thumb. His finger smoothed down over my cheek and the tip of my nose before dancing over my bottom lip. “It was just a dream.” I squeezed my eyes shut for a second before reopening them and nodding gently at him. He moved to lay beside me once more and I rolled over to face him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I swallowed heavily before shifting ever so slightly closer, further into his warmth. “I feel like I’m losing my mind, Pietro.” He placed his hand on the sheets between us, an offering. I slid my own beneath his, letting him intertwine out fingers. “I keep seeing these things when I’m asleep and when I’m not. I don’t recognize them or know how to make them stop and it’s driving me mad.”

“They’re not things that have happened to you before?”

“If they are…  if they are memories, they’re not mine.”

His hand stroked over my hair, moving down my back in fluid strokes that helped the breaths come a little easier. He didn’t stop once, not until I was fast asleep again, this time with less strange visions and haunting songs.

…

Natasha wrapped her hands slowly, glancing up at me intermittently. I stretched my shoulders and circled my neck around to prepare my muscles. “Maybe you’re remembering vicariously? As in your mind is turning something you’ve heard or seen from someone else into something you experienced.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “It doesn’t really matter what’s causing it I just want it to stop.” I mumbled, tightening the wraps over my knuckles.

“Right… so the thing with that is I’m pretty sure you’re going to have to actually identify the root before you can get rid of the dreams.”

“Thank you so much Dr. Natasha.”

She rolled her eyes without malice. “Anyway smartass, let’s go through the common themes you’re struggling to place.” I sighed exasperatedly moving into a defensive position. “Glasses guy in the white room.” I nodded, throwing a punch that she easily dodged. “The teenage boy…”

“That stupid fucking song.”

“Dream a little dream of me.” There was silence between us for a long moment as I slipped from the hold Nat had been attempting to put me in. “I know that this probably isn’t what you want to hear but are you really certain that these memories aren’t yours.”

The next punch I threw was just slightly harder and Natasha raised an eyebrow at me as she caught it. “They’re not.”

“Nadia… when we met, when you were cycled through the Red Room that first time, you were 5 years old, almost 6.”

“So?’

“So that’s almost 6 years of your life that you don’t remember, years that are unaccounted for.” My heart was beating so quickly in my chest that I was beginning to feel a little faint. “Maybe you should just consider that some of these things your seeing aren’t just ‘visions’ but it’s your brain telling you something.”

I tripped over my own feet as I went to throw another hit, head spinning. The ground was flashing in and out of my vision. “Nads?”

Stars shining bright above you.

I gripped my ears tightly. “No. No. Please not again.”

Birds singing in the sycamore trees.

“We can’t fill up before dinner.”

A yank to a blonde piggy tail

The needle in the latex gloved hand.

The ballerinas and the blinding stage lights.

Swan theme and dream a little dream of me fighting in my subconscious.

“Nadia, are you okay?” I knew the voice but not where it was coming from.

I clutched my head tighter, willing the music to go away. The stage lights blinding me, the leotard cracking my ribs. There were hands on me, poking and prodding me, grabbing at me. I folded myself into a ball.

“It’s not real.” I chanted to myself over and over again. When the music fizzled out and the familiar voices reached me, I let my eyes open. My hands were clasped tightly over my ears, cheek pressed to the mat. My knees were against my chest and Steve was knelt beside me, Tony at his side and Nat opposite them. I took a shaky breath, hands falling to push up off of the ground.

“Just take is slow, Nads.” Steve spoke gently, concern crinkling his eyes at the corners.

I ignored him, moving to my feet swiftly and taking a step back from all of them. “I’m fine.”

Tony moved toward me. “Cap’s right, just take a breather, kid.” My heart was racing so fast it was hurting, the air felt too dense to fill my lungs and I needed to get out of this room before the walls swallowed me whole. I made it a single step out the door before I heard Tony again, following quickly behind me. “Nadia, slow down.” I continued to ignore him, but this didn’t seem to deter him in the slightest. “Where are you even going? You can’t run away from whatever it is that’s going on in your head. What’s that saying, wherever you go, there you are.”

I stopped abruptly in my tracks turning to face him. “Just back off!”

“Why? So that you can keep pretending that you’re fine?” His eyebrows rose slightly, his expression still calm and collected as ever, it was intensely irritating. “You haven’t been fine for weeks, Nadia, probably more than that you’ve just gotten shittier at hiding it-”

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck you too, I’m trying to help you, dumbass. Clearly whatever you’re doing isn’t working.”

I laughed humorlessly. “I don’t want any help from you, Stark.”

“Really, we’re back to the whole last name thing?”

“You run away from the woman you love and hide out at the compound every time things get a little hard and you’re really telling me I need help?”

He didn’t even flinch. “I thought I already told you that the perpetually jaded thing doesn’t work on me, I invented that move.”

I rolled my eyes, turning away from him. My stomach was churning, mind whirring with the things I could say to him to make him walk away, the number of cruel and unremorseful words I could throw at him to make him give up, but then my throat seemed too tight to speak. My mind wouldn’t let the words pass from my brain to my tongue and we seemed to have reached an impasse. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes so tightly it took them a long while to readjust. “I’m fine, my head is just a little muddled right now, I just need to get some extra sleep, and everything will be fine.” My voice was even, a calmness that had been practiced.

Tony was silent for a long moment behind me, yet the air was thick with unspoken words. “That assignment cap was talking about… I think you should sit it out.”

Every muscle in my body tensed. “That isn’t your decision to make.” It was simple, no room for argument in my tone and I was leaving the hallway before Tony could find a response.

I didn’t even know where I was going, my feet seemed to have a mind of their own. The only clear objective being to get away from Tony and the look in his eyes. The moment I rounded the corner leading to the front entrance I collided with another person. Warm hands steadied me, sweet, brilliant blue eyes gazing down at me adoringly. “You missed me that much?”

His smile dissipated when he noticed the tension that must have been evident on my features. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head, it wasn’t until I ran a hand through my hair that I realized how shaky I was.

“I just… ah…” I swallowed heavily, looking at the ground. His hands encased my cheeks, one large palm on either side of my face, guiding me to look at him, my eyes were stinging, and I hated how weak it made me feel as I stood before him, barely able to meet his eyes. “I can’t think straight, and I had one of those stupid episodes in front of the others and now they all think I’m losing it and I’m starting to agree.”

The furrow between his eyebrows increased as he regarded me. “No one thinks that, because it’s not true.”

My heart rate picked up and the stinging in my eyes increased tenfold. “What if it is?” I barely managed to get out, shutting my eyes tightly again and tilting it back to stop any tears from escaping my waterline. My lungs burned as I held my breath tightly.

“It isn’t.” I kept my eyes shut still not breathing, if I could just tighten my grip, hold onto the reins slightly more firmly, everything would be fine. I just needed to get ahold of myself. “Nadia, please look at me.” He murmured, tapping two of his fingers gently against my cheek. When I kept my eyes closed, I felt him take my hand from my side and press it flat to the warmth of his chest above his heart. “Breathe. Please, you’re not going to lose it, I won’t let you. Even if your mind goes dark and traps you, I’ll still be here to bring you back. I promise. Just take a breath.” His heartbeat was steady beneath my palm and still I held my breath. “Nadia, let me in. Let me help you, give me some of the weight. I knew you when I kissed you the first time and I still chose to stick around, I’m still here and I’m begging you to let me in.” His forehead pressed to mine.

I felt a stream of liquid slip down my cheek, and I gripped his hand tightly, focusing on the constant, rhythmic thuds. There, in his embrace after almost too long I exhaled. I cracked an eye open and took a slow step forward into his space, letting him envelope me in his arms.

In the early hours of the morning, I laid with my head pressed to Pietro’s chest, eyes barely open surrounded by the darkness allowed by blackout blinds of his room. The steady thump of his heart kept me there, in that moment, for that I was immensely grateful to him. His breaths lengthened and his muscles began to tense as he stretched and woke. With his eyes still closed he hand moved over my back and then down again, slow, tender. I pressed my cheek further against him, giving into the comfort he offered. Eventually his hand moved to run through the strands of my hair. “How did you sleep.”

“Well, I actually slept. So that is a start.”

His arm wrapped around me, coating my body in his warmth. “There is nothing wrong with you, Nadia. Whatever is happening to you we will figure out. Us. Together.”

I glanced up at him, resting my chin on my arm. “I do not understand why you would want to take on my crazy on top of everything else…”

He only smiled down at me adoringly. “You still don’t get it. That is all I have wanted from the beginning.” I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. My hand moved to rest over his forearm that laid on the bed and I settled against him once more. “I very comfortable right now and I can tell you are too, but I’m afraid I will starve to death if I don’t eat something in the next 5 minutes.”

I snickered slightly. “Glutton.” I taunted.

“Is that right?” Before I could respond, he’d flipped us both over and pinned my hands above my head. I laughed at his antics. “Say you’re sorry.”

“For what?”

The corners of his lips were upturned as much as he attempted to appear stern with his furrowed eyebrows. “For being so mean to me.”

I smiled at him. “I don’t think I’m mean to you.” The words were a little breathy and I tilted my head toward him as I spoke, tempting, and not a moment of it was unintentional. Pietro’s eyes darted to my lips at when my tongue peaked out to wet them slightly. His grip loosened a little on my wrists as he drew closer. When his nose grazed mine, I couldn’t help the little smirk that formed across my lips. “You are so easy to distract.”

“Temptress.” He muttered, pecking my lips slightly. His lips had barely left mine when he descended again, kissing the smirk off of me. My hand moved to run through the strands of his hair, tugging slightly as his released one of my wrists, sliding down to press into my leg and hike it up over his hip.

I let him continue for a few more moment until he was completely lost to the feeling and then I pushed him back. “I wouldn’t want you to go hungry.” I murmured. His eyes narrowed, an incensed look across his features.

“You are a very cruel woman, and this conversation isn’t over, but I am actually very hungry, so I am putting a pin in it.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, biting back a grin. “Right, I look forward to continuing this… conversation when you return.”

He smiled cheekily at me and then he was off, a strand of hair falling into my face at the wind generated by his immense speed. I rolled my eyes, a little smile settling over my lips once more as I laid back down in his bed. My eyes fell closed as I laid, basking in the sudden quiet that filled the room, feeling slightly unnerved by it.

The buzzing of my phone startled me upright but a glance to the side table revealed nothing. I felt around the sheets for the lost phone as the buzzing continued. A string of Russian curses slipping past my lips as I searched, eventually leaning over to drag my hand across the floor. Finally, I found it, lying on the floor just underneath the bed. My position perched over the edge of the mattress allowed me to see the newspaper jammed in between the side table and bed frame. Why would he be reading the newspaper in bed, and more importantly why did it seem like he was trying to hide it? I grabbed the crinkled paper, slipping it out before unfolding it to see the headline. My stomach dropped as I read it.

“Who’s to blame for Sokovia.” The same headline that I’d read days ago, right before shredding the paper and discarding of it. Where the hell had Pietro gotten this from? I supposed it didn’t really matter now, he’d seen it, irrespective of how he’d sourced it.

I let my eyes drag over the words printed beneath the headline.

“Too much power.”

“Unpoliced… out of control”

“A city wiped off the map… the people demand accountability.”

“Maximoff twins wreaked havoc on their home and yet they are celebrated.”

I felt sick and I prayed to whatever god was listening that Pietro hadn’t read this complete nonsense. However, when I looked back up at the sound of footsteps and I saw the expression on his face, I knew he had. His eyes dropped to his feet, and he gripped the plate of fruit in his hands a little tighter. I moved to the side of the bed, throwing the newspaper in the bin on my way to stand before him. “Pietro.” I spoke gently. He sighed deeply, shaking his head the moment the word left my mouth. I said his name again.

“Don’t.”

“It’s all just shit. You know that don’t you?” When he didn’t respond, I took another step closer. “Nothing they wrote in there is true.”

He put the plate down on his drawers, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s true that we wiped Sokovia off the map.”

“Ultron destroyed Sokovia.”

“He did not do it without help.”

I closed my eyes for a long moment and wished I knew what to say, wished I were better at this. Wish I knew how to tell him the things I wanted to. My hand fell over his cheek, thumb brushing back and forth over the stubbled flesh. When my eyes opened, I found his now closed. A tear streaming down his pale cheek. I opened my mouth to speak again but was cut off by the familiar voice of F.R.I.D.A.Y.

“Good morning, Nadia, and Pietro. Mr. Rogers wishes to speak to Nadia in the conference room at her earliest convenience.”  

I sighed. “We are not done talking about this. I’ll be right back, I promise.”

He didn’t offer anything in the way of a response, causing my stomach to churn as I slipped from the room. My shoulders were drawn tight with tension as I wandered down the corridor. I couldn’t stop thinking about Pietro. Had he been holding onto what happened all this time. He’d mentioned feeling responsible when we first began training together but that was so long ago now, I’d never even suspected he might still be beating himself up over it. The longer I sat in the worse I felt, had I simply missed it? Was I too concerned with acting like this thing between us didn’t exist to see how affected he was. Once I started, I couldn’t stop and by the time my hand pressed against the door of the conference room I was unable to think of anything else.

Perhaps that was why it was so easy to miss the meaning behind Steve’s words when he began. Why, his long lead in and all the sugar-coating was lost on me as he assured me that he trusted me and told me how apt an agent I’d always proved myself to be. By the time his words processed in my mind it was all just a fog of niceties and padding. Then there was one final sentence, the one that I heard loud and clear.

“I’m reassigning the mission.”

It was like all the air was sucked out of the room. There was an irritating ringing that filled my ears, and I began to feel a little lightheaded. “What?” My voice bounced around the room, ducking in and out of crevices and resounding loudly in my ears.

“Agent Hill will go instead.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This wasn’t possible, there was no realm in which this was a possibility. “I know that you’re not going to be pleased with this decision, and you have every right not to be, but you should also know that this isn’t a personal attack. It is, however, personal. It’s personal because I am your friend and I’m doing this for your own good. You won’t make the call to sit an assignment out. Even when you know you’re not up to it, so I have to make the call for you.”

“So, you’re kicking me off the mission because you don’t trust my judgement?”

“Of course, I trust your judgement. We both know that’s not why this is happening. You won’t put your own safety above work and that’s a problem.”

“Thats what we signed up for.”

“Nadia, your mind is nowhere clear enough to be on assignment right now and I’m not the only one who thinks that. My decision is final and that’s all there is to it.”

I walked out of the room without another word. Each of my movements quiet and swift. My feet moved in a beeline down the corridor and then the stairs. My chest was rising and falling rapidly, no air seeming enough to fill my lungs. The ringing was still in my ears, accompanied by the sound of my heart thudding and blood rushing. The sound of the lab door sliding open had him glancing up at me. A knowing look filled his eyes as he sighed and put his hands up almost defensively. I yanked one of the lab stools back, launching it downward until it slammed against the door. “This is your fucking fault.” I pointed at him.

“Really, how do you figure that?”

“Because you’ve got it in your head that you know something about me, that you have some kind of mystical fucking connection with me that gives you the right to decide whether I’m fit enough to do my job.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m pretty sure anyone with half a functioning brain cell could see that you aren’t alright.”

“That’s bullshit, all of this is bullshit, you got me kicked off the fucking assignment because you think you’re some kind of brain analyst.”

“Psychologist, but that’s neither here nor there.” His indifference to the rage that threatened to suffocate me only made it worse. I felt itchy with the white-hot feeling beneath my skin, the fury that was running through my veins. I swiped the papers he’d been working on off the lab bench. Grabbing the electrical board next to it and throwing it as well. “Does that make you feel better?” He asked.

“Fuck you!”

He shook his head at me, shrugging slightly. “Get it all out.” I squeezed my hands into fists so tightly I almost expected to break the skin of my palms. He stood from his stool at the bench, rounding in to pick up the things I’d thrown and stow them away out of reach. “You can think I’m an asshole all you want, kid, this is about keeping you safe. I’m hoping at some point after you’ve turned the rage dial down by half you might be able to see that anything I did was out of concern for you.”

“We are not friends, Tony.” He met my eyes when I said that. An unreadable expression on his face. It was as though my brain and body were disconnected, as though something else had control of the words I spat. “We work together and beyond that you can stay the fuck out of my life.”

That was what I left him with, slamming the door of the lab so hard I felt the reverberations through my arm.

[memphisnovels]

"it's you. it's always been you." but said in a resigned tone. tired, giving into persistent ache, accepting it as a truth. almost comfortable in unrequited feelings, but unable to keep it to oneself any longer

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 24. Trouble

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Hi friends! Me again, I took a little break over the holidays so apologies for the lack of chapters. This isn't my favorite one I've written but I hope you enjoy <3

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: Pietro being cheeky, some angst (par for the course), depictions of and allusions to PTSD, Tony time <3

“Balance, poise, precision. These are the qualities of a good dancer just as they are for a widow.” The leotard was so tight it felt as though it was going to crush my ribcage, but I kept spinning, never lowering from pointe. “But in the perfect dancer this is not enough. In the perfect dancer there is innate skill, that which cannot be learned but which lives within in us when we are born.”

In but a second the hard wood beneath my feet was gone and I was tumbling to the ground. When I looked up the barre was gone, so was Saskia. Now there were men with suits all around, the cold marble floors dug into my knees and then I saw a familiar face. It was the boy who’d appeared to me so often over these last few months, but he wasn’t talking to me now, instead he was in a heated discussion with someone I couldn’t see. I watched carefully as the young boy’s face contorted with outrage. He ran a hand through his hair, spitting out words that appeared venomous though I couldn’t hear them. I moved slowly to my feet, looking around to see a building I didn’t recognize, it was sleek and filled with people in bespoke suits. When I turned around again that boy was before me, his lips moving, though I could not hear what he was saying. He stepped closer, repeating his words over and over, it was the same words I realized, almost as if addressing me, attempting to get my attention, though I didn’t recognize what he was saying. He reached out toward me and the second his hand landed on my shoulder a deafening ringing sounded in my ears. I covered them with my palms to block out the maddening sound, my eyes shutting tightly.

When they reopened, I was no longer in the strange building, nor with Saskia in the ballet studio. The walls were sterile white, and I was strapped down to a cold metal chair. The ringing lessened, slowly fading into nothingness, though the sensation remained in my ears. A new sound began then, swelling gently into the area – classical music, I realized. Something was placed over my eyes by gloved hands. “Tell me who you are.” I heard a voice speak, German accent abundant in each syllable. I could feel my mouth moving but all I could hear was the music as it grew louder. Suddenly the bespectacled man entered my line of sight, adjusting large black glasses before beginning to fiddle with something on my head. I blinked and suddenly all I could see was a stage with a solitary ballerina in the center.

I sat upright abruptly in bed when I awoke. Rubbing the heels of my palms into my eyes in an attempt to rid myself of the strange dreams. The cold air that enveloped me as soon as I stood had me clinging to the dark blue sweater I wore. It smelt like Pietro and as odd as it seemed to me, I found it comforting.

He’d been gone for 4 days now, only able to check in on the first day before he and Sam went off the grid, the only point of communication now was comms which were being monitored in shifts by the team. Most days, I barely left the comms room. It confused me still, the way I was so undeniably concerned for Pietro’s welfare, but at the same time it was nice to have something else to focus on other than the visions that were plaguing me. They’d been getting worse since the Christmas tree farm, and it was becoming rather irritating. Sometimes it was in my dreams, others it was at random moments during my day, occasionally prompted but often they would just happen. It made no sense to me what was bringing them on and how I could stop them.

Pietro being gone was easy to focus on. It was strange sitting at meals without him, quiet, uncomfortably so. “You know he’s going to be fine.” Natasha spoke the words she had already said a million times by now. I nodded, not meeting her eyes. Instead, I focused on the newspaper that was before me, busying myself with reading the articles so she’d stop pestering me. “It’s normal to worry about him, it shows you care.”

“I’m fine.”

“You are so annoying.”

The corners of my mouth quirked up and I offered her a short glance before looking back down at the paper and flipping it over. “I’d just rather he didn’t die.”

“How sweet of you.”

I snickered at her response, yet all amusement left my body as I read the headline of the newspaper. Printed in large black letters above a black and white image of the ruins of a city.

‘Who’s to blame for Sokovia?’

Without a second thought I tore it to shreds, ignoring Natasha’s bewildered stare as I swept the pieces into the garbage. “He will be fine; the mission will be a success and he won’t die.” I spoke in absolutes, hands fisted tightly at my sides as I left the room. I repeated it like a mantra to myself for the rest of the day, even as I lay in bed waiting for sleep to come; and when it did the woman returned. Bracelets jingling against each other, hand smoothing over my hair, soft humming filling my ears. It wouldn’t stop, like it was haunting me.

In the early hours of the next morning, I meandered down to the labs with a sneaking suspicion that Tony would be tinkering. Just as I’d suspected, he was standing by a half-built suit, moving wires around under the armor. I sipped the coffee in my hands, watching him work quietly.

“Jesus Christ!” He exclaimed when he turned, almost jumping out of his skin. “You know it’s bone-chilling how easily you sneak up on people.” I merely smiled to myself at his dramatic tone, looking over his latest project. It was midnight blue and silver, not as bulky as the iron man suit, more of a skin with a hard chest plate. “It’s only a beta, I’m working on the resistance to speed and velocity, but he’ll need to try it on for me to be sure.”

I ran my hand over the hard shoulder shell, circling the hanging suit. “He’ll be so happy.”

“Yeah well… Figured it was time for him to trade in the rookie suit.”

A small laugh fell from my lips. “This is definitely an upgrade.”

“Speaking of which, you could probably use one too.”

I shook my head. “My suit gets the job done; I don’t need all this fancy shmancy tech stuff.” He wiped his hands on a rag, meeting my eyes as I continued. “I have the skill that your padding makes up for.”

Tony rolled his eyes at my taunt. “Oh well then, I guess you wouldn’t be interested in the fancy shmancy new suit that I already built you.” He pressed a panel on the wall, and it slid out, revealing a glass case. My lips parted as I took a step closer.

The suit was jet black, there were bits and bobs attached that I assumed were all sorts of equipment Tony had thought up, but it wasn’t bulky. It looked like a second skin, just the way I liked it, however, there were hard shells across it, armor that didn’t stick out. It covered the abdomen, shoulders, and chest. A closer glance revealed lines that ran along the suit in some kind of pattern, almost like veins through the center. I traced over them. “What are they?”

“Here.” Tony did something to the sleeve of the suit and suddenly the veins lit up, crimson red. He revealed a button that would attach to my palm if the suit was on. “It works like the widow’s bite shockers, but it’s built in, so you’ll still have the wrist attachment to stun at long range but this way you can become the shock piece. When you hit the button, you can use it. It’s all apart of the suit, so now, you can control the red.”

My mouth dried up as I stared at him. I didn’t know what to say, all I could do was look between him and the perfect suit, startled by his attention to detail. “Tony…” I looked back at the suit.

“Plus, I added in extra blade-resistant shelling, figured you could do with getting stabbed a little less.” His tone was light now, nonchalant. He was trying to play it off, act like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Thank you… It’s perfect.” He didn’t meet my eyes, fiddling with a few spare parts that were scattered across the table. “Where did you learn to do all of this?” I hoped the question would dissolve the strangeness between us.

He shrugged, glancing at the suit he was building for Pietro. “My dad was a scientist, and his work was his life. I’m not sure if the interest was innate or just a thing I started because it gave us something in common.” I nodded in response, running my fingers over the fabric of my new suit. Silence sat between us for a long few moments, not inherently uncomfortable, however, I could feel that Tony had something he wanted to ask, words on the tip of his tongue.

“Go ahead.”

“Do you remember anything about your parents?”

I shook my head. “I’m not sure I ever knew them. Judging by the lack of memories, I’d say its likely.” As I spoke, I chose to ignore the inescapable images that plagued me. That and the nagging feeling at the back of my mind.

“Do you miss them?” I blinked at him. “That’s probably a stupid question, right?”

“You mean to say do I wish I knew them; you just don’t want to ask because it sounds rude.” Tony didn’t respond verbally to that, a sheepish look on his face. “It’s fine, you don’t have to beat around the bush. To me, this is normal, I don’t remember ever knowing any different.” I took a beat then. Looking down at my hands as I wrung out my fingers. “I think… there was a time when I wondered what it felt like. I suppose I wished just to know what it was like to have parents, fully.”

He nodded but did not immediately speak. “That makes sense.” A beat. “Thanks.”

I snorted. “For what?”

“I have no idea it just felt like the right thing to say.”

“You’re very strange when emotions come out.”

He grumbled and went back to his work. I watched him, actually a little fascinated by what he was doing. My chin landed in my palm as I settled in. He held a pointed metal wand in one hand and a wire in the other. His eyes flickered up to me for a moment. “Do you want to try?” I was shocked by his offer, glancing between him and the parts. Eventually, I nodded gently and rounded the bench. He handed the metal wand to me. “I’m just soldering that wire to the main board; you just hold the tip of the iron to the wire and receiver, and it will melt them together.” I followed his instructions carefully, watching the silver melt down and join. “Well, don’t do it that well, I still need to have a use around here.” I rolled my eyes, lifting the wand from the metal board. As I continued, Tony began explaining to me how connecting the wire helped the suit function.

A piece of hair fell into my eyes causing me to blink as I touched the tip of the iron to the main board again. For just a split second I was gone.

Smaller hands held the very same tool, but I was in a different room.

When I blinked again, I was back, Tony’s voice filling my ears. I swallowed heavily, gripping the iron tightly and touching it to the wire again.

Stars shining bright above you.

Night breezes

Night

The sycamore tree.

Dream a little… night breezes seem to whisper, “I love you.”

“Nadia, be careful!” The words were like a shock to my system and when I was present once more Tony was watching me with a wide-eyed gaze. I pulled my arm back to avoid my bare finger making contact with the soldering iron. “Do you know how hot that thing is, kid? You could have given yourself a third-degree burn.” My head was frazzled, and I felt dazed looking from the iron to the man before me. “What happened, you disappeared on me for a second.”

I shook my head, as if the movement would clear it. “Sorry. I’m just tired, I haven’t been sleeping well.” It was half-true I supposed. Tony didn’t look convinced, but I merely turned from him and swiftly approached the exit of the lab.

It seemed, even during my waking hours, I couldn’t escape it.

“It’s getting worse than before.” I muttered into the phone.

Anna hummed. “Perhaps it’s the stress?” She was the only one I’d ever really confided in about my strange dreams, and even then, I couldn’t bring myself to unload every detail of them. “You’ve been so worried about Pietro, maybe that’s bringing it out.”

“But what even is ‘it’?” I spoke, frustration evident in my tone. “I don’t even know what I’m seeing.”

“Well, maybe it’s time to talk to someone about it.”

I sighed. “I am talking to someone. You.”

“Nadia.” Her tone was firm, scolding almost. “You know what I mean, a professional.”

She’d barely gotten the words out before I was protesting. “You know how I feel about shrinks; I’m not going to talk to some stranger with a notebook about my feelings.”

Her laugh sounded down the line, though I could hear the tightness, she was frustrated. “I’m aware, dear. You’ve made your feelings on the matter very clear. I don’t necessarily mean a therapist but someone who understands the human brain.”

I knew she was right, as she often was. Yet, I made no immediate endeavors to seek out a professional, not quite ready to face that. Whether I was lacking confidence in anyone’s ability to understand the inner workings of my mind, unwilling to trust another person with them or simply not ready to face the truth behind my visions, I was unsure.

So, I simply chose to focus on something else.

“Any signs of life?” Agent Hill spoke as we watched the footage from Sam’s body cam.

“None. Yet.” He responded. Suddenly Pietro appeared, moving to eye-level with the camera and tapping it obnoxiously. “Dude, you don’t need to do that, it’s on.” Sam spoke exasperatedly, slapping the other man’s hands away. I bit back a laugh as Pietro smiled sheepishly at him.

“I knew that.” He waved at the camera before turning back to the path ahead of them. The two of them were in a dimly lit tunnel, that was supposed to lead them underneath the property where the target was being held, the target being some man of importance and a few dozen files. It was a S.H.I.E.L.D. mission, hence the vague details. “This is very boring so far; search and rescue makes it sound so cool.”

“What don’t you find wading through half flooded sewers fun?” I taunted over the comms. I watched Pietro freeze slightly from Sam’s body cam. He glanced back over his shoulder, lips upturned.

“Well, hello, Nadia.” Just the sound of his voice had goosebumps rising over my flesh. “And I can think of several things that are far more fun than this. Funnily enough a good amount of them involve you.”

I scoffed at him rolling my eyes and working very hard to ignore the flush that rose over my chest, spattering across my neck and making my body warm considerably.

“Jesus, we get it, you’re into her. Spare us.”

Pietro’s snickering could be heard clearly over the comm. “Just keep moving, idiots.”

“Wait hold on.” Sam spoke up again, putting his arm out to stop Pietro from continuing. My skin prickled. “Do you hear that?” I held my breath as they both fell deathly silent, listening. In the eerie quiet, I heard it; ticking.

Sound erupted through the comms, so loud I had to yank the small device from my ear. Yellow and red flickered across the screen before it fizzled and became black. When I put the comm back in my ear there was muffled yelling covered with crackling static.

“Sam, come in.” Maria spoke, clicking the connecting buttons and repeating herself again and again. “Pietro, Sam, can you hear us?” Eventually the static dissipated and so did the voices, the screens now showing a bright red alert.

‘Connection lost’

I shook my head, tapping the comm to reconnect but each time it was the same response, no connection. Shooting up from my seat, I began to pace the room. “What the fuck?”

“Searching for their heat signatures now.” Maria said, typing rapidly.

Moving down to the front of the room, I stared at the large screen before me that was now completely black. Maria was muttering behind me, but I didn’t spare her a glance, focused wholly on the screen.

When silence continued to fill the room, I turned back to Agent Hill. “Well?” 

It was evident that Maria was attempting to keep her expression neutral, though for me, her concern was plain. “Did you find a heat signature? Agent Hill?” She remained silent, narrowing her eyes and beginning to type quicker. “Maria.” When she met my gaze, I had my answer. “Fuck this.” I spoke, turning to approach the door.

I barely made it a few steps before Tony was in front of me with his hands out, stopping me. “Get out of my way.”

“Not a chance. Not when you’re about to go and do something stupid.” 

I glared at him. “What do you think I should just let them die in that tunnel?”

“I understand that you want to protect him, kid.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t fucking patronize me, Stark.”

The expression on his face remained steadfast, never faltering, despite my harsh words “I’m not. If the comms have gone offline it’s likely something is interfering with the other tech too, that’s why there’s no heat signatures. I’m telling you to take beat.”

I clenched my hands into fists at my sides. He was watching me carefully, awaiting my next move. Another glance at the blank screen that once had Pietro’s smile on it had me sidestepping Tony and making for the door once more. A hand wrapped around my wrist, not aggressive or threatening. Firm, but gentle. I whipped around and everything changed.

There was dark hair and brown eyes that softened as they gazed at me. A flash of lips moving with jumbled words.

But in your dreams whatever they be…

I yanked my arm from Tony’s grasp, blinking rapidly to clear my mind as the room began to spin. A loud static noise filled my ears, followed by a familiar voice.

“Hello? Can you hear me?” Pietro registered across the comms, a little distorted. My heart stuttered and I felt frozen to my spot.

“Pietro! Yes, we can hear you, do you hear us?” Maria responded.                           

The screen was still blank, but his voice continued to clear over the receiver. “Yes, but there’s a lot of static.”

“Was there an explosion before?”

Sam’s voice came through then. “Yeah, they blew up the end of the tunnel, but we’re both fine, Pietro got us out. We lost you guys for a bit there.”

Hill continued to debrief with Sam over the comms asking about their progress, but my heart was thumping in my chest still, and I was so aware of it that my body was beginning to panic, head spinning, hands clammy. It felt like the walls were closing in on me, suffocating me, crushing my bones. I shoved the door open, stepping out of the room quickly. The second I did red flashed across my eyes.

Sweet dreams ‘til sunbeams find you…

“The mission isn’t complete.”

I was small.

There was a gun in my hands.

I didn’t want to do it.

“Finish it, Nadia.”

I clutched my head, pushing along the wall and blinking rapidly to free myself from the memory.

“It’s your purpose.”

There was blood all over me. In a dark room with a mirror, General Obolensky held a gun to my head. He pulled the trigger, and I didn’t move, didn’t even blink. Dreykov smiled at me from the corner of the room.

“It’s not real.” I chanted, squeezing my eyes shut tightly.

I’m longing to linger ‘til dawn…

Fading… fading… linger on dear…

“You can’t tell dad he’ll be so mad at us for filling up before dinner.”  

A tug on one of my plaits.

The sun was warm, dappling the pavement through the trees that lined the street. There were steps in front of me.

The boy was there, jumbled, inaudible words and all. He tightened my backpack strap; he must be talking to me.

“…bug.”

Then it was the man in the glasses, poking and prodding me. “Tell me who you are.”

Finally, I reached the door I’d been searching for, pushing it open to feel fresh, cold air envelope me. Icy snowflakes nipped at my exposed flesh, but it was a welcome relief. I gasped into the open air, letting my head fall back as the images finally dissipated into nothingness on the air.

[memphisnovels]

I’m not a perfectionist, but finding a typo or a grammatical error in my own already-published fic is like stepping on a Lego honestly

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 23. Safe and sound

Previous chapter

Masterlist

18+ chapter

MDNI

I can't lie, they are everything to me This chapter is spicy (more than 1 chili pepper spicy)<3

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: spice, tension, flirty flirty behavior, Pietro being cheeky, some angst (par for the course), domestic bliss.

I kept a few paces before him the entire walk, neither of us breaking the silence that sat heavy between us. By the time we stepped into the reception office my hair was drenched and clinging to me, much like my clothes that the still falling snow had melted through, saturated me. My teeth were chattering, limbs shaking as I spoke to the woman behind the front desk. The news that there was still one room available was a relief adding to the range of feelings I was experiencing presently. The room was significantly warmer than outside, yet the shivering only worsened. There was a single queen-sized bed in the center, and a small tv and kitchenette in the corner beside a door that I assumed led to the bathroom. Pietro went straight to the heater, turning it up to the highest setting as I grabbed all of the blankets from the cupboards, laying them on the bed before beginning to peel off my coat. My teeth were chattering so loudly that it caught Pietro’s attention, and, in an instant, he was before me, attempting to help me undress. I moved away from him, removing the rest of my clothing until I was left in the only dry items, my bra and underwear. Pietro did the same, left in only our undergarments we grabbed blankets and huddled before the heater. I grasped the soft material to my flesh closing my eyes tightly and bringing my knees to my chest. The teeth-chattering didn’t let up, my body still shaking and stinging from the cold that seemed to be clinging to me. I could feel Pietro’s gaze on me. “Nadia-”

“No.” I cut him off.

His tone shifted, no amusement, lightness or room for argument. “Stop now. I’m not letting you get hypothermia just because you’re stubborn.” My eyes slowly traveled over to his form as he opened his blanket covered arms and beckoned me over. I rolled my eyes at him, swallowing heavily and willing the cold to go away. When it didn’t and my body began to physically shudder with it, I sighed exasperatedly and crawled over to the man who immediately wrapped my up in himself and the blanket when my back pressed to his chest. “God, you’re freezing, why do you have to be so fucking resistant to help.” I didn’t respond as he enveloped me completely, pressing with exceedingly warm flesh to mine, acting as my personal furnace.

Slowly but surely, my teeth stopped chattering and my shaking calmed as his heat seeped into me, warming me to my bones. At some point the tenseness in my body eased slightly as I allowed him to take away the biting coldness.

I gave him a short glance over my shoulder before turning back to the plain brick wall that was before us. There was a silence between us that was so thick it felt as though it was practically strangling me, yet I refused to break it first. A S.H.I.E.L.D. assigned therapist once told me I tended to favor avoidant capabilities in times of emotional conflict; Pietro moved to sit by the fire beside me and I managed to see her point as I stared ahead at the place spot where the paint had begun to peel.

“So now you’re pissed off at me?” I didn’t respond at first, ignoring the feeling of his intense gaze burning into the side of my head. He didn’t falter once, unyielding as he stared at me. “That’s fair, could you maybe talk to me though?”

The look I gave him must have given away at least a portion of how incensed I was as he closed his eyes for a long moment before giving me a sheepish smile. I clenched my hands into fists at my sides, taking a deep breath. “I’m not pissed off at you.”

He glanced down at my hands. “Right.”

“I’m trying to be a rational adult, so just give me a second to not be so mad.” He nodded, looking straight ahead again. The silence lasted approximately 3 seconds before he spoke again.

“I’m sorry I held us up, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

I closed my eyes tightly, taking a deep breath as I leaned back slightly further against his chest. “Don’t be sorry, I’m not mad about that at all, I’m sorry I snapped at you.” He pressed a kiss so gentle to my cheek I barely felt it. Though, the meaning was not lost on me. “I just want you to tell me what’s going on, I don’t like the weird tension between us right now.”

“It’s kind of complicated.”

I shrugged, looking back at him “So? You’ve been strange since the other night, whatever it is, just say it.”

He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water and I could see the battle in his eyes, the struggle to find the words. My mind reeled, running over everything that had happened since that night. Every word, every kiss, every touch.

Then I thought maybe I understood.

I moved out of his arms, sitting cross-legged before him, wrapping the other blanket around myself. “If you don’t want to touch me… in that way, you don’t have to… just say that.”

The only way to describe the look in his eyes then was pure distress. He dropped his head into his hands and groaned dramatically. “Jesus fucking Christ, Nadia, I want to touch you.” I narrowed my eyes at him opening my mouth to respond only to be cut off. “God, you have no idea how badly I want to touch you. It is all I’ve thought of for months, honestly, I’ve wanted this since the moment I met you.”

My heart rate picked up slightly at his words. “Well, then why have you been acting so weird and avoiding me?”

“Because I wanted it to be your decision.”

I asked him what he meant.

“I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I meant what I said that night, it couldn’t be some heat of the moment decision that you’d regret, I couldn’t take that, I didn’t want you to change your mind and the only way I felt like I could be sure that you were sure is if you initiated things.”

His words baffled me, truly astonished me. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This had to be some kind of joke, yet his gaze was earnest and pained and I felt like slapping him across his pretty face. “You are the most idiotic person I have ever met.” His expression turned indignant, but I continued before he could interrupt. “I quite literally took my clothes off in front of you this morning and that wasn’t a clear enough initiation?”

Both his eyebrows rose as I spoke. “T-that was not as clear as you think it was.”

My eyes narrowed at him. “I told you to take my underwear off, Pietro.”

He snickered slightly even as a flush travelled up his neck. “Okay touché, but, in my defense… you are a tease.”

“Me?!” My tone dripped with disbelief as I shoved his shoulder. “You’re the one always starting things he can’t finish.”

“Hey, I absolutely can finish it, I’m just a gentleman.”

I shrugged. “Oh right, so you’re only all talk when it comes to me then. I guess I’ll just have to take your word for the rest of it.” The second the words left my mouth there was an evident shift in Pietro’s expression which had a shiver rushing down my spine.

“I don’t like that tone.” Before I could even think of a retort his lips were on mine, kissing me hungrily. I felt the way the air changed between us, frustration melting into something entirely different. His hand smoothed up my thigh gripping it tightly. “So… just to be clear you’re asking me to prove it to you?” I nodded and he yanked my leg, causing me to fall into his lap swiftly. His lips kissed along my jaw, cold fingers fiddling with the hem of my shirt. “Say the words, Nadia.” I furrowed my eyebrows at him. “Tell me what you want.” My lips hovered over his as I looked down into his piercing gaze.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

His grip on my thigh tightened and his hand slipped up slightly, pushing my blanket up with it. “Yes, I would, and if you want me to give you something you’d like, you’ll start listening.” His hand rose a little further, eclipsed by the fabric of the blanket as it ventured beneath. Goosebumps rose across my skin as I felt his other hand wrap around the back of my neck pulling me down against his lips again.

“I want you, Pietro. If that wasn’t obvious.” I felt his lips curving into a smirk against mine.

“Oh, it was, but I’d appreciate a little less attitude.”

I bit back a laugh, swallowing my pride and giving, just slightly. His hair was slightly damp from the snow that had touched it when we’d been outside, it caused the drying pieces to fall messily around his eyes, sticking up when I ran my fingers through it. He looked handsome like this, not I didn’t find him frustratingly handsome normally. My fingertips smoothed over his cheek, and I pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I want you.” I smiled “All of the time.” I recounted the words he’d spoken to me after Amsterdam. Within seconds he’d moved to his feet and hoisted me up to wrap my legs around his waist.

“You have me.”

{MDNI}

That was the last thing he said before our surroundings blurred and my back hit the plush hotel bed. Pietro brought warmth with him when he crawled atop me, lips on mine the second he was above me. The imprint of his hands felt as though it burned me, but not in a way that made me pull back or flinch but in a way that had me craving more. I helped him push the blanket back off of his shoulders, leaving them bare. As soon as the fabric was cleared, I was guiding his lips back to mine and wrapping my arms around his neck. His hand travelled down my hip, hooking my thigh over his hip so he could lay further against me. I gasped into his mouth as his fingertips danced just below the band of my bra. With a single hand in the center of his chest I pushed him back, moving with him to sit upright and slip from beneath him. His Adam’s apple bobbed heavily as he watched me unclasp my bra, the straps fell slowly down my arms before I slid the fabric completely off of my body. His eyes trailed from my own to take in the sight of my now bare chest, that heaved slightly with the tension of the moment. I walked toward him, letting my knee sink into the soft duvet on either side of him, settling onto his lap again and kissing him eagerly. One of his hands stroked my cheek tenderly, the other laying limp at his side. I grinned against his lips, smoothing my hand over his shoulder and down his bicep to grasp his wrist and move the limb upward. His eyes tracked the movement, completely mesmerized as I flattened his palm over one of my breasts. The still slightly chilly air of the room, combined with his proximity had the sensitive flesh stiffening under his palm. I kissed him yet again, lips parting to allow his tongue to make contact with mine.

“You’re usually so talkative, what happened?”

“Well, it’s not exactly easy to make conversation when your half naked and looking at me like you are.”

I raised an eyebrow. “How am I looking at you?”

His gaze darkened slightly as his lips drew into a thin line, his patience evidently wearing thin. My back arched and a sound of sharp pleasure fell from my lips when he fingertips pinched one of my nipples. “I think you know.”

When his hands moved downwards my heart rate picked up yet again, thrumming against my sternum as his fingers teased over my inner thigh, sliding around to slip just beneath the waistband of my panties. I could feel just how eager he was beneath me, prompting me to slide a little further into his lap. The sensation of him hard and pressing against me had a hum emanating from me. His hands moved to grip my hips tightly, dragging me over him at a pace that was excruciating and completely addictive at the same time. My head fell back slightly, the sound he made going straight between my legs.

“Wait.” I spoke up, pulling back just slightly. He stopped immediately, looking up at me with pupils that just about eclipsed his irises. I bit my lip before pressing another kiss to his lips because apparently, I hadn’t tasted enough of them yet. Forcing myself to pull away again I sighed, rolling my shoulders back before meeting his eyes again. “There’s just… I’ve never…” I shrugged, a flush travelling up my chest. “You know.”  He raised an eyebrow at me, lips quirking up at the corners. “I’ve never had an orgasm alright! Honestly, I don’t think I can.” I looked down, my voice quietening at the end. Pietro’s fingers tugged my chin back up to look at him.

“It’s okay.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know what it is, there’s something wrong with me, I guess. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

His eyes softened, brows furrowing slightly. He tugged me toward him by the hips, flattening his hand to slide it over my thigh. In one swift maneuver he’d pulled me on top of him, settling me on his lap. His hands returned to my hips once more. “There is nothing wrong with you, Nadia. Being with you is all I want so how could I ever be disappointed when I get to do that?”

“Are you saying sweet things to me so you’ll get lucky?”

“I never dreamed I would get this lucky.” His lips were on mine then, firm and passionate and my nerves melted slightly. The way his lips felt against mine was entrancing and utterly addicting, I never wanted it to end. “I know that you think you can’t and maybe that’s true, but I still want to try, if you’re okay with it.”

His words had me breathless, or maybe it was less his words and more the way he looked at me as he spoke them. His lips were parted and glistening, eyes half lidded, dark lashes fluttered.

I kissed him again. “Okay.” I was on my back in seconds, giggling a little at his fervor. Pietro’s kisses dipped around my jaw, travelling down my neck but taking their sweet time on their journey, imprinting himself on each crevice of my flesh that was revealed to him. At first, I was nervous that being on my back would trigger a panic reaction, but as his mouth mapped a scorching path between my breasts, the red room was the furthest thing from my mind. I watched as he parted my legs, mind whirring and heart thrumming rhythmically against my sternum. I felt hot all over, flushed and powerless in a way that I craved. It was a feeling no one had ever sparked in me. My legs were trembling already and my chest heaved as he peeled the leggings from me at an excruciating pace before settling between my legs, head dipping to nip at my inner thigh. I gasped at the sting feeling his lips upturn as he kissed the place he’d bitten.

“Remember when you used to pretend you hated me?” I glanced down to see him peering up at me, shit-eating grin on his face. “Because I do.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “What a perfect time to talk about this.”

He snickered. Pressing another kiss to my thigh, fingers digging into the flesh a little. I bit my lip, working hard to not cant my hips up toward him. “I remember it very well. You were such a little shit, sauntering into training in those tight little outfits and being so mean to me. Do you have any idea how badly I wanted you? How hard it was to have you talk so much shit to me every day and not be able to do anything about it.”

“Are you going to keep on talking or are you going to finally do something about it?” The smirk that crossed his lips was positively devious, eyes darkening as he took my panties in his hand, a tearing sound following. The ruined fabric clutched in his hand before he threw it over his shoulder. “I liked those, you idiot.”

He only smiled at me, parting my legs again and falling between them. He pressed a kiss to my pelvis, rendering me completely speechless. He sent me one more gentle look before his mouth was on me and all thoughts simultaneously drained from my head. My legs snapped shut instinctively but he caught them, prying them open once more, not parting from me for even a moment. I threw my head back, mouth falling open as pleasure flooded through me. It had never felt like this before. Only one other person had done this to me, and I’d never been more uncomfortable but when it was Pietro everything was different. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even function. It was like being struck by lightning.

Sounds fell from my lips that I didn’t think I was capable of making as he licked and sucked hard on the bundle of nerves. He hummed against me, the noise pleasure-filled and completely content. I bit down on my bottom lip hard as my hips canted upward. He laid his arm over my pelvis, holding me still whilst reaching up to grab my hand and intertwine our fingers. I fisted the duvet in my free hand. “Fucking hell, Pietro.” I barely managed to get the words out. The sound that left him resembled a snort, but I didn’t have it in me to be annoyed when he was making me feel like this. He lifted his head from me, bringing our conjoined hands to his mouth and kissing my knuckles before letting go. With his free hand he kneaded the flesh of my thigh, pressing a gentle kiss against my clit that had me shuddering. His fingers smoothed down my leg and along the place where his mouth had been. My heart rate picked up again. I used my free hand to grip the sheets by my head, biting down hard on my bottom lip as Pietro doubled down in his efforts.

“Just relax.” He hummed against me. I hadn’t even realized how tense I was. “You can let go; I’ve got you… I’m never going to let anything happen to you, just let go.”

When it began, I was momentarily immobilized. Every nerve ending was blown to pieces and my eyes rolled back. I was faintly aware of Pietro grabbing my legs to keep them open, his lips remaining attached to me as the sensations ravaged my body. Tears formed in my eyes from the immenseness of the pleasure.

My chest rose and fall frantically as I attempted to catch my breath, Pietro beginning to kiss a path back up my body and when my eyes met his again, he was positively beaming.

He kissed me softly giving me a taste before pulling back to speak. “Glad we cleared that up.”

I laughed pushing my hair back out of my face. His fingertips caressed the flesh of my cheek as he laid against me. “Just give me a minute then we can go on.”

His smile grew as he brushed his nose over my cheek. “You’re tired, I am too. Let’s just go to sleep.”

“But what about you?”

“I already told you, all I want is to be with you.” He kissed me again. “Plus, I’m not planning on disappearing anytime soon.”

What had happened at the tree farm was still heavy on my mind as I laid beside Pietro, even with the very distracting events that had just taken place. These strange visions didn’t seem to be going away anytime soon, in fact they seemed to have gotten worse since Sokovia. They didn’t make any sense to me, the song that I kept hearing, the unrecognizable voices that spoke to me, the man in the glasses. It all seemed so disconnected and yet it was as though my body, my mind was trying so desperately to tell me something in a language I didn’t understand. I figured that this was one of those things Anna and Natasha would berate me for keeping to myself but sharing it with anyone seemed unthinkable until I’d somewhat figured out their cause.

In the morning, sunlight filtered into the room through the little crevice where the curtains didn’t quite cover the window, prompting me to turn away. I reached my arm out to feel the cold empty spot that had once been occupied. When my eyes opened, I found myself in the same hotel room as last night, only there was no Pietro. I sat up, rubbing my eyes before pushing myself up out of the warm bed. I collected my now dry clothes from the backs of the chairs and dressed before approaching the front door. A glance outside solved the missing Pietro issue as I watched him get out of the car that had been stuck in the snow now, coffee in hand. I narrowed my eyes at him as he approached, smiling at me when our eyes met.

“For you.” He spoke, offering the cup to me. My eyes travelled between it and the car.

“How?”

He gestured for me to take the coffee. A sip of the beverage warmed me from the inside out, or maybe that was just the way he was looking at me. “I have my ways.” He murmured.

…

“I bought you something.” Pietro held out something brown and plastic that was mostly covered by his hands.

Upon closer inspection I quickly realized what it was, the corner of my mouth tugging upward slightly. I looked from the chocolate custard to him, questioningly. “How did you know I like these.”

“I saw Anna bring them for you when you were hurt after Sokovia, and again after Amsterdam.” I smiled down at the sealed snack, my face flushing slightly. “I figured it could be dessert.”

“Dessert?”

He took a step closer to me, lifting my chin with his thumb and forefinger. “I’m cooking for us tonight.”

“Good luck keeping it just us.” I laughed. The corner of his lips upturned as he began collecting the ingredients from the fridge. I raised an eyebrow at him. “You did not tell them, did you?” He shrugged. “They are never going to let us live this down, you know that right?” As much as I tried to find it in me to scowl, a smile managed to break through. I wandered aimlessly behind him, attempting to find a way to help him, eventually picking up some of the vegetables he had out to begin washing them.

“Hey, none of that! I told you; I’m cooking for you.”

“But it will be quicker if I help.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m not going to change my mind, sit down and let me do this for you.”

“I don’t need you to do it for me.”  Before I could protest any further the tools were taken from me and my feet were off of the ground as Pietro slipped me onto the countertop, planting a firm kiss on my head.

“All you need to do is sit there and look pretty.” He spoke, causing me to roll my eyes at him. “You’re a natural already.” His words were as they often were, a little teasing and brimming with sweetness.

Soft music began filling the room then, courtesy of F.R.I.D.A.Y. I’d guess. Pietro hummed along to it, dancing his way back over to the stove and adding an array of items to a hot pan. I watched his every move, studying as I often did. His hair fell over his forehead as he looked down, a little messy as always but I thought he looked best like this, natural, unpolished. The muscles in his for arms tensed slightly as he chopped the beef. I had no idea what he was making but it wasn’t long before a mouth-watering smell filled the kitchen. He sent me numerous sidelong smiles, eventually bringing me a glass of white wine and pressing kiss to my lips.

“Did your mother teach you to make this too?” His blue eyes glinted with something unreadable as they fell on me then. “You told me she taught you to make goulash, did she teach you to make this too?”

He smiled, gaze lingering on me for a long moment before it returned to the pan before him. “She taught me to make a lot of things, but not this. I’ve actually never made this before.” The first hint of nervousness was evident in his voice then. I strained to try and see what was in the pan, onions and beef, I couldn’t make out the rest.

“What is it.” He moved to stand between my legs, prompting me to widen them to accommodate him. One of his hands sat on my hip, the other resting on the counter beside me.

“You’ll see.”

I attempted to bite back my smile, raising my eyebrows at him. “How very mysterious of you.” When we kissed then it was searing, branding me in every way. I ran my fingers through his soft hair, committing the way his lips felt to my memory. He was leaving tomorrow he and Sam were heading somewhere in South America for a search and rescue mission. I was blurry on the details, too focused on the prospect of Pietro being in harms way. Of course, I’d never voice those concerns to anyone, but they’d been rampant on my mind since the moment he told me he was going. It wasn’t as though he’d never been in danger on a mission before, the difference was I’d always been there to make sure he got back in one piece. I’d never worked with Same before, come to think of it, I barely ever really knew him outside of the fact that cap trusts him. Even though I reminded myself that I trusted Steve’s judgement wholeheartedly, my skin still crawled. “Do you trust Sam?”

“Really? You’re thinking about another man while I’m kissing you?” I ignored his taunt. Chewing the inside of my cheek as I thought about every interaction I’d had with the man. “You don’t need to worry about me.” He played with a strand of my hair, twirling it and eventually tucking it behind my ear. “I really, really like that you do, but everything is going to be fine.”

“So, you trust him?”

“I trust you.” Our eyes met again. “And I know that, normally, when you aren’t overthinking, you trust Sam.” His thumb brushed over my bottom lip, and he brought his other hand up to rub along my forearm that rested on his shoulder. “I’m a big boy, I can look after myself. Although, it is very hot when you get all protective.”

I rolled my eyes at him, snorting at his antics. His attention was soon drawn back to the meal he was preparing when the pot of water began boiling.

Before me Pietro placed a plate of pasta with a rich creamy sauce over it. I inspected my plate carefully, leaning in to take a whiff of the beefy smell. “What is it?” I asked, swirling my fork through the dish.

“Beef stroganoff.”

I paused momentarily, a smile tugging at my lips. “Where are the potatoes?” I teased, glancing back down at the plate.

Pietro smiled sheepishly at me. “Well, I wanted to make you something Russian, but I read that pasta is a romantic food.”

“You read that? Where?”

He opened and closed his mouth a few times before looking back down at his own place, a pink tinge taking over his cheeks as he muttered something almost incoherent. Almost. “I googled it.”

“You googled romantic foods?”

He nodded slowly, still looking down at his plate, his cheeks reddening even more. A warm feeling filled the pit of my stomach as I watched him. I slid my hand across the table placing it over the top of his and using my thumb to rub back and forth. Then, I picked up my fork once more and dug in, finishing every bit of the meal he’d made me, only stopping when the plate was clear, and Pietro was no longer embarrassed.

…

I found myself unable to sleep that night, even as I lay there full and content, my mind refused to shut off. One would think with the amount I’d tossed and turned my body would have worn itself out, yet still, as darkness blanketed the compound and F.R.I.D.A.Y. fed quiet city sounds into my room, I laid wide awake.

Moonlight filtered in through the windows that lined the corridor as I snuck quietly through the compound, bathing my flesh in smooth silver light. I hesitated as my hand hovered over the door, feeling slightly foolish. The thought occurred to me that knocking might wake someone else up, inevitably leading to teasing that I’d rather not contend with. I lowered my hand slightly, considering simply returning to my room and forcing myself to sleep, yet just as my hand was about to drop to my side the door swung open, and a mess of silver hair was revealed to me. Pietro rubbed at his eyes for a second as if attempting to decipher if he was dreaming, he looked warm in his long cotton pajama pants and dark blue t-shirt. He was warm, I realized as took a hold of my hand, tugging me over the threshold and into his arms. We laid together, neither of us uttering a single word, Pietro’s arms wrapped around me, enveloping me in him. And there, with only the sound of his steady breath beside my ear, I fell asleep.

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 22. Christmas tree farm

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Hi friends, here's this... :P Chapter 23 is spicy - thats all <3

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: Suggestive conversations, Pietro and Nadia being Pietro and Nadia, tension, flirty flirty behavior, some angst (par for the course).

A chill sat heavy in the air of my bedroom when I woke up, dancing across my skin and causing me to shiver slightly. I sat up to see a blanket of white outside my window. I got up quickly, pulling a sweater over my head and slipping into some shoes before wandering down the long corridor that led to the compound's back entry. I pushed the door open, taking a deep breath of the brisk air that immediately bit at my flesh. The first snowfalls of winter almost settled me strangely enough. Even if they served as a bittersweet reminder of Russia. We never saw snow in the Red Room, it was only when we got to go outside that we’d feel the sting of the glacial air. The burn of the fresh snow on our skin was a reminder that we were still alive.

“You’re going to catch a cold, Prinţesă.” His warm breath against my ear had a small smile tugging at my lips. His warmth seeped into my bones as he wrapped his arms around me. I let my body melt ever so slightly against his solid chest.

“It must have snowed all night; I wish I’d been awake to see it.”

Pietro tucked some stray hair back behind my ear, pressing a soft kiss to the side of my head. “I am leaving in 3 days, and you’d rather look at the same snow that you see every year than my devastatingly handsome face?”

I sent him a glance over my shoulder, lips curving upward. “Can’t I look at both?”

“So, you admit it? You think I’m very handsome.” He spun me in his arms, hands falling to sit at my waist.

“I don’t recall saying that. In fact, it doesn’t really sound like something I would say.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “You don’t have to be shy; you can just say you are floored by my beauty.”  

“Or perhaps it is your self-assurance that has me astonished.” I slipped from his grasp, heading back towards my room.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I heard a whir and suddenly Pietro stood before me with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m getting dressed, we have to go with the others to get a Christmas tree remember.”

Pietro closed the door behind him after entering my room and I tossed my jumper onto the bed. “I forgot that was today.” He sighed exasperatedly.

I snorted. “You were the one who wanted to get involved with the festivities.” I turned away from the silver-haired man, slipping my shirt over my head and promptly interrupting whatever he was about to say. His words cut off into a strange drawn consonant sound that barely resembled a word. “Are you short-circuiting?” I taunted, slipping a bra on.

“I…” His eyebrows were raised, and he looked a little light-headed when I turned around. “You just took your shirt off.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes well, I told you I was getting dressed, and you followed me in here I assumed you understood how the concept of getting dressed unfolded.”

“Very funny, Nadia. I think you know what I mean.”

“No not really, Pietro.”

“You are standing in front of me in your underwear right now!”

I looked down at my body, eyes then sliding up to meet his. “I have pants on. Besides you’ve seen me in my underwear before, Moscow, remember.”

“That was different, and you know it.”

“I didn’t mean to make you so uncomfortable, I’m sorry, it's just not really that big of a deal to me. You’re not exactly the first person to see me without clothes on.”

His eyes narrowed at me, and he tilted his head slightly to the side.

His expression made me giggle slightly. “I didn’t mean it like that… I just mean, where I grew up, there wasn’t exactly a lot of privacy, you get used to it.”

“I’m not uncomfortable.”

“Well, then why the freak out?” I watched him intently as his eyes shifted, venturing downwards for the first time since my shirt had come off. What I’d said was true, about him not being the first person to see me without clothes, yet the way his eyes looked as they traveled over each inch of exposed skin had goosebumps prickling across my flesh. My spine tingled as his pretty blue eyes became a little darker and suddenly, despite the bra and sleep shorts I felt completely exposed. Yet, I didn’t feel the need to cover up. Instead, I reached down to my waistband, slipping my thumbs beneath it. “You can always go if it’s bothering you.” His eyes flickered back up to mine, and a solitary eyebrow rose, jaw clenching. He looked irritated; it sent a flurry of amusement through me. I shrugged, tugging my shorts down and letting them fall to the floor, pooling around my ankles. My eyes fell on Pietro again who was almost eerily still, barely breathing. I bit back a grin as I approached him, stopping when there was barely an inch between us. His sharp intake of breath had me doubling down on my effort not to laugh. “You’re in my way,” I murmured.

His eyebrows furrowed. “What?” He managed to get out.

I nodded to the set of drawers that were behind him. “Unless you’d like to hand me some underwear.” The muscle in his jaw feathered as he watched me. “Well? What’s it going to be?”

“You’re playing a dangerous game, Nadia.”

My eyebrows rose and I leaned a little more toward him. “I don’t think it’s dangerous?” I wanted him to kiss me so desperately, I felt sure I’d burn to bits if he didn’t. It had been like this for days, the tension between us so thick it was choking me, yet he refused to act on it. He’d kissed me but it was always sweet, gentle, and short. It never eventuated into anything else. Ever since that night when he stayed in my room. “I mean it’s not like you’re actually going to do anything, Pietro.”

I felt his warm hand land on my hip, gripping it. My breath hitched at the contact, heart speeding up. His finger slipped beneath the waistband on my panties, fiddling with it for a moment before letting the elastic snap back against my skin. I narrowed my eyes at him, frustration intertwining with the desire that enveloped me. “Are you going to take them off, or should I?”

I swore my heart simply stopped beating for a second. My cheeks felt hot, and I had to suppress a shudder at his words. He was nonchalant about it, raising his eyebrows as though he was completely unsure of why a question of that nature would take me aback. “I- what?”

“That is how getting dressed generally unfolds is it not?”

I could no longer suppress the grin, as he so casually used my own words to taunt me. He was not winning this round, as much as he thought he was. “Since you’re so insistent on being helpful, maybe you should take them off.” Both of his hands were on my hips, pressing his fingertips into my flesh, grazing over the soft black fabric that covered me. My lips parted at the sensation.

“Nadia…”

“Pietro.” I brushed my lips over his, but he pulled away quickly, putting plenty of distance between us.

“I should let you get dressed; we don’t want to keep the other waiting.” With that he sped off, shutting the door firmly behind him.

I sighed heavily, snatching a skirt and tights from my closet. When I arrived in the foyer of the compound, Pietro was already there talking to his sister. Natasha was not far behind me, tailed by Steve and Sam. I could see Tony and Pepper through the open front door, speaking in hushed tones. “Alright everyone, we’ll have to take two cars to fit us all.” Steve began with his regular leading countenance. I snickered slightly.

“Aye aye, Captain.” He made a face at me as we walked out toward the two black SUVs. I opened the driver’s side door of one just as Tony did the same to the other car, Nat slipped into the passenger seat beside me immediately fiddling with the radio to find a station she liked. My eyes met Wanda’s as she glanced between the two cars. I offered her a smile which – by my standards – was warm. “Hop in.” I nodded toward the car I was entering, a bright smile emerging across her lips. A glance at Pietro had my mood soured slightly as I saw him quickly slip into the car with the other boys, not sparing me a glance. The action made my stomach twist up, why was he so damn confusing? I dropped into the driver’s seat exasperatedly. Natasha spared me a suspicious glance before rolling her window down and leaning slightly out.

“Hey Pepper, what do you say we make it a girl’s trip to the tree farm?” The woman agreed eagerly, slipping into the seat beside Wanda without hesitation. When we were all buckled up, I pulled our car up beside the boys, glancing over at Tony who revved the engine performatively.

He sent me a smart-ass look. “Now when we beat you girls there don’t take it personally.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen.” The boys were snickering, smugness exuding from their car causing me to grip the steering wheel tighter. I could see Natasha putting the address into the GPS from my peripheral prompting me to smile over at Tony.

He opened his mouth to respond but before the words were out of his mouth I floored it, taking off in front of him. The moment we hit the open road Natasha started the Christmas music. I shot her an unimpressed look before returning my gaze to the road. “Oh, don’t be such a grinch, it’s festive.”

“Whatever you say.” I sighed.

“You seem tense, Nadia. What’s on you’re mind?” Pepper asked with a kindness to her voice that had the corners of my lips quirking up.

Before I could respond Natasha was speaking one more. “Oh, don’t mind her she’s just sour because she misses her boyfriend.” She sing-songed the last word, nudging my shoulder teasingly. The glare I sent her would have been bone-chilling to anyone else, no doubt, yet she only laughed it off. I heard Wanda snickering from the back seat and sent her a look in the rear-view mirror.

“Don’t encourage her.”

“I think it’s sweet that you like him so much.” Pepper gushed.

I scoffed. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Oh, deny it all you want we all know you’re completely smitten.” Natasha’s words had me flushing though I attempted to play it off. “And we all know he’s been obsessed with you since the beginning so really it was just a matter of you giving up the whole broody indifferent act and now, we get to watch you two be sickeningly cute.”

I rolled my eyes. “New topic please!”

Pepper laughed at that. “You sound just like Tony.”

“How is he doing? he’s seemed a little… off lately,” Nat said.

“You’re guess is as good as mine. Talking about his feelings isn’t exactly his forte, most of the time he either changes the subject or literally flees. I’ve barely seen him these last few weeks.”

Nat glanced in my direction. “Sounds like someone I know.” I pinched her in retaliation causing her to gasp and smack my hand away indignantly.

“Maybe he just needs some time.”

“I hope so… It’s just hard, he carries so much weight around on his shoulders and I’m standing there practically begging him to let me carry some of it but he won’t let me.”

…

“Are you mad at me?”

Pietro furrowed his eyebrows at me. I’d cornered him practically the second we arrived at the tree farm, having barely beaten the boys since Tony’s ego was seemingly more important than obeying road rules. The others were off perusing trees or warming up by the coffee stand. The smell of pine and hot chocolate enveloped my senses as we stood nestled in between a stack of trees. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“I don’t know you tell me. You know I’m not good at the whole human emotion’s things, I didn’t mean to piss you off.”

“You haven’t pissed me off at all, you never piss me off, Nadia.”

I smiled at him. “You can tell me the truth I won’t be offended if you say I pissed you off, you piss me off all the time.”

Pietro narrowed his eyes at me, visibly fighting back a smile. “Really? I’ve never gotten that from you before.” A slight laugh bubbled in my throat. The smile won out, spreading across his lips. He caressed my cheek pressing a gentle kiss to my temple. “I’m not mad at you, Nadia. I promise.”

“So why are you acting so strange?”

“Am I acting strange?”

It was my turn to narrow my eyes at him. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” He wasn’t nearly as good at the nonchalant thing as he thought he was, and even if he was, I’d spent most of my life playing this game, he wasn’t likely to fool me. Though his attempt frustrated and frankly slightly upset me.

My shoulders sagged slightly. “Fine,” I muttered; his eyes softened at my tone. I moved to turn away from him, but his hands grasped my upper arms, holding me in place.

“Wait. Please. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

He closed his eyes for a long moment. “I’m not mad at you.”

I clenched my jaw. The feelings that swirled through me were not entirely clear. They were, however, abundantly unpleasant, that much was obvious. “Okay you’re not mad, so what’s going on?”

He opened his mouth to respond but then closed it again with a heavy sigh. Instead of answering me he furrowed his eyebrows once more and began rubbing up and down on my arms over my sleeves creating friction warmth. “You’re cold.” He noted. I glanced down at the movement of his hands and just like that I was gone.

A soothing heat covered my upper arms as my hands moved over them.

“I told you to wear your jacket.” There were more words, but they were jumbled, I didn’t recognize the voice but then I couldn’t hear it anyway.

While I’m alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me.

Birds singin’ in the sycamore tree.

A ringing sound filled my ears and the man in the glasses was back, placing something over my eyes.

The ballerinas were on the stage again.

Sweet dreams ‘til sunbeams find you.

Sweet dreams… in the sycamore tree.

Birds singin’… in your dreams whatever they be.

Your dreams… your dreams… whatever they be…

I shut my eyes tightly in an attempt to block out the sounds.

“Tell me who you are.”

“Nadia, are you alright?”

The hands stopped and when my eyes opened again Pietro was before me again, a concerned look drenching his features as he scanned me for signs of distress. I shook my head, swallowing heavily and taking a shaky breath. “I’m fine…” I murmured.

“What happened?”

“Oh, so now you want to talk. You know, for someone so big on communicating you certainly have a knack for dodging the things you don’t want to talk about.”

He scoffed. “Well, I learned from the best.”

“Иди на хуй.” Go fuck yourself. I responded with a huff, turning to walk away.

“I don’t know what that means but I’m guessing it's probably not nice.” He called after me, but I ignored him. He caught up with me in a few long strides, blocking my path and offering me a tender smile. “I know you’re mad at me, but you look really pretty right now, and I would very much like to kiss you.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring up at him. “Your audacity is unbelievable, truly.”

His smile turned from sweet to cheeky in an instant. “Is that a yes?” I turned away from him again, storming off, though I only made it about three feet before I turned back around and approached him, grabbing the lapels of his jacket and kissing him hard before shoving him off and walking away.

…

It was Nat who picked the tree in the end, refusing to hear any argument. When it was loaded into the car, we found ourselves wandering down the main street perusing the shops and taking in the rare day of peace.

I fell back a few paces from the group, taking in the snow-spattered streets of upstate New York. Pepper’s strawberry blonde hair filled my line of sight as she joined my side.

“Hey, Nadia.” I offered her a very small smile of acknowledgment. “I’ve actually been meaning to thank you for whatever you said to Tony.”

I furrowed my eyebrows at her. “I didn’t say anything to him.”

“Well, you must have said something because, while he’s still cryptic, he’ll at least tell me why he doesn’t want to talk right now.”

When she spoke it was as though my mind went blank, unsure what to say in response. There was genuine gratitude in her eyes, I looked to the ground. “I’m glad you two are talking more, but I really didn’t do anything.”

She was quiet for a moment, only the whisper of a smile remained on her lips. “Okay.” She murmured.

“Speedy come on man, I’m freezing my ass off over here!” I heard Sam complain, causing me to look ahead. Pietro was looking at something in a shop window and it was evident from the expression on his face that he wasn’t quite ready to leave.

“Yeah, I’m getting pretty cold too, and the snows starting to get heavier we should probably head off soon.” Nat spoke up. I looked Pietro and the others, wringing my fingers together. The red-headed woman’s eyes lit up as she looked over at me. “I mean there are two cars, the rest of us could go together and I’m sure Nads wouldn’t mind sticking around and then driving the two of you back later.” I rolled my eyes at her not-so-subtle scheming. The corners of Pietro’s lips curved upward as he looked over at me.

“Okay fine, piss off all of you then,” I spoke cooly, switching keys with Tony as I’d driven the bigger car.

He sent me a side-long glance, amusement plain on his face. “Drive safe.”

When the others had left, I wandered into the gift shop after Pietro. Scanning the aisles of trinkets for any sign of the familiar silver hair. I found him in the back corner, lingering in front of a display that was obscured by his shoulders which had begun to sag slightly. Wordlessly, I joined his side, immediately understanding the shift in his demeanor. Before us stood a small but beautiful array of what I assumed were traditional Sokovian Christmas decorations as well as some other small knick-knacks. In center was an old, faded image of a small boy and his family, below that was a hand-written sign that read ‘Even when lost, we keep them alive in our hearts.’  Pietro was completely silent beside me. I let my fingers brush against his, he grabbed my hand before I could move it away, intertwining our fingers and holding on tightly. Without uttering a single word, I let him hold on to me. I didn’t know what to say to him, what could even begin to cover it; so, I just stayed beside him, holding onto him just as tightly.

We remained for quite some time after this, still allowing the comfortable silence to sit over us as we walked through the icy streets. My nose was numb and my cheeks red by the time we returned to the car, blasting the heating to defrost. The radio played softly as I drove, a gentle hum in the background blanketing the lack of conversation between us. I felt like we should talk about whatever was bothering Pietro, but this felt like the wrong time, maybe there wouldn’t be a right time. Either way, I chose to simply remain in the silence that was beginning to become a little tense.

“Just say it.” He murmured, looking out the window at the landscape that was now covered in powdery snow.

“Say what?” I spoke, feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket. Without taking my eyes from the road I slipped it out, glancing over to see Natasha’s caller ID. I put my phone in the cupholder – whatever it was could likely wait until we got back and if it was important, she’d call again.

Pietro exhaled deeply, looking over at me with a smile so small it was almost imperceptible. “Whatever is on your mind.”

The snow was getting heavier and heavier the further we drove, and I was beginning to grip the wheel tighter, speed lowering to keep traction. “There is nothing on my mind, I am free of thoughts right now.” My phone began buzzing in the cupholder. “Can you check who that is?”

“Natasha.”

“Shit, answer it.” He did as I asked, her voice coming through the car speakers a moment later. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing major but we just got back to the compound, and they’re currently closing all the roads because of the weather. I doubt you guys will make it back without getting turned around and it’s not really safe to be driving right now anyway.”

I squinted, slowing down again as the visibility became even worse, cursing in Russian and checking my rearview mirror before pulling to the side of the road. “So, what are we supposed to do?”

“Your best bet is probably to grab a hotel there. Hang on Tony is tracking the car to see where the nearest accommodation is.” I laid my head back on the seat, frustration beginning to fray my nerves. Chatter sounded in the background of the call before Nat spoke again. “Okay the closest hotel to you guys is a 10-minute drive, sending you the location now.” My phone pinged and I thanked Natasha before hanging up and turning the car back on to begin driving to the hotel. The problem being when I accelerated, and the loud sound of skidding filled my ears whilst the car remained stationary. I hit the pedal again and the car did the same thing, not moving even slightly. The door slammed behind me as I walked to the back of the car to see we were in fact bogged down in the snow and sleet that had built up on the side of the road.

“That might be a problem.” Pietro mused, glancing at me from the other side of the car. Without responding, I squatted down and began digging at the sleet with my hands, kicking at the parts that were too tough to move. “What on earth are you doing?”

“Trying to get us out of here, are you going to keep standing around asking stupid questions or help?” My tone was snappy as I continued digging around the tire.

He huffed a laugh, not moving, only fueling the fire in me. “Forget the car, let’s just walk and we’ll call someone to tow it when the roads are clear.

“No, we don’t need someone to tow it. It’s fine. I can do it.” I moved to my feet once more, flattening my hands on the back of the car and using all of my strength to push it, only for the car to barely budge. I gritted my teeth, going back to digging. My hands were stinging from the bite of ice against my flesh, but I ignored it, steadfast in my mission.

“Jesus, Nadia, stop it you’re going to give yourself frostbite.” Pietro yanked me away from the tire. “It’s freezing out here, let's just get to the hotel and we’ll deal with the car in the morning.” I pulled away from him, turning on my heel and beginning in the direction of the hotel Nat had sent me, not speaking a word to Pietro. “Nadia come on, just tell me what’s on your mind.”

I halted abruptly, turning to him with an accusing finger pointed in his direction. “I don’t want to talk to you Pietro! This is your fault if you hadn’t held us up, we could be back at the compound by now not walking through this fucking freezing bullshit.” I kicked at a large pile of snow, not thinking through my actions and feeling my balance crumble as my foot slid across a sheet of ice. Warm arms wrapped around me before I hit the ground, Pietro’s blue eyes gazing down into mine as he held me up. He pulled me back to my feet gently. My face burned and my face was beginning to hurt from the cold. I shook the snow from my shoulders, turning dramatically and continuing toward the hotel without uttering a single word to him.

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 21. Daylight

Previous chapter

Masterlist

We were really working through some things in this chapter :)

A little spicy, nothing crazy though.

<33

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, Pietro and Nadia being Pietro and Nadia, some spice (literally it doesn't even constitute a chili pepper), flirty flirty behavior, some angst, and arguing.

I stretched my neck from side to side, rolling my shoulders to loosen my muscles as I waited for Pietro to arrive for training. My mind seemed set on reliving the memory of his hands on me over and over again in a never-ending loop that proved extremely distracting. I’d been attempting to push the thoughts out of my mind, to focus on other things, yet it was becoming clear to me that when it came to these pesky feelings, I was having there was no ignoring them – they refused to not be felt by me.

My lips upturned when I felt the air shift behind me, shortly after an arm swung out in an attempt to place me in a hold. It never failed to amuse me when people thought they could beat me with the element of surprise. I grabbed Pietro’s arm and ducked beneath in, using my body to flip him onto the ground on his back. He sighed dramatically, throwing his head back in exasperation. “That was uncalled for.”

I raised an eyebrow at him as he moved back to his feet, running a hand through his hair. “You’re really shit at sneaking up on people.”

He rolled his eyes. “Why must you bully me so relentlessly?”

“Are you really surprised?” My hands fell to my hips as I regarded him. “I’m not going to start going easy on you now.”

His lips curved into that cheeky grin that had become a familiar sight on him. “Oh, I wouldn’t want you to, Prinţesă.” I bit back a smile, rolling my eyes at his tone and the way his eyes traveled along my body.

“Okay, I want to see some of what you’ve learned. Think of it like a pop quiz. We’ll start with how you get out of holds.”

I was pleased with his progress though not particularly surprised; I’d been seeing his continual improvement for months now. It made me think back to that first month of us training together, he was always strong, but he lacked skill and strategy. Now, he got out of nearly all of my holds with some amount of ease, he still couldn’t beat me, but he was good. I smiled when he broke free of me before I managed to get him into the guillotine choke. When we were sparring, I saw the thought behind his movements, the skill that had become an indelible part of his fighting style. I threw a punch, and he caught my fist, twisting it and moving swiftly to evade me, a second after he stepped behind me, I felt a small sting against my ass, followed by a smart-ass little snicker. I froze in place, disbelief overtaking me as I glanced over my shoulder to see his shoulders shaking with laughter as he walked away. Without hesitation I followed, kicking him quickly in the back of the knee, not enough to hurt him but firm enough to have his knee buckle. I grabbed his shoulder about to put him in a chokehold out of retaliation. In my haste I left my guard open, allowing his to grab my wrist and swiftly sweep my feet from beneath me. I scowled at him as he pinned me to the mat beneath him. “Too slow.” He taunted, smirking growing. I gritted my teeth, attempting to summon my anger, yet meeting Pietro’s striking gaze seemed to extinguish it almost completely. The rage I knew well turned into ash and embers that dissipated in my hands. Irrespective of this I narrowed my eyes at him, feigning ire. His amused look transformed into a soft smile as he watched me. “Don’t be mad. It’s just because you’re such a good teacher.” His eyes fell to my lips. My heart was racing, and I was fighting hard to stop the smile from taking over my lips.

I bucked my hips up to throw him off-balance before moving my leg to overlap one of his and flip us. “Who’s too slow now?” I spoke moving from between his legs to pin him properly, hand beside his head holding me parallel to him.

He shook his head, snorting at me. “Sore loser.” His hand moved to sit on my hip causing my heart rate to pick up once more. His other hand tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, caressing my cheek slightly. I leaned down to brush my lips over his, gently before kissing properly. I could no longer fight the smile that tugged my lips upward, so I gave in; a little. His own smile grew, and his eyes traced over my face as if he were following an invisible pattern across my flesh. He was quiet for a long while then.

I kissed him again so that he’d stop looking at me like that. His hand squeezed my hip a little, the other smoothing over my hair to bring my lips against his more firmly. I felt his fingers pressing into the tights that covered my thigh before he flipped up over once again, rolling on top of me. This needed to end, anyone could walk into the training room, I knew that, yet the thought of stopping was still entirely unappealing. “Pietro,” I murmured against his lips, but the kissing never ceased. “We should go eat dinner.” He ignored me entirely, beginning to press a line of kisses down my throat. My lips parted, eyes fluttering slightly.  I grabbed ahold of his hair, prying him away from me. His mouth was parted, a little smirk forming.

“If you want me to stop, this isn’t the way to do it.” His hand snaked up my arm, slipping my hand from his hair and turning his head to press a gentle kiss to my pulse point. “But I am pretty hungry so…” His eyes raked over my form, causing a shiver to run down my spine. I pulled my legs back pushing his chest with my foot, causing him to fall backward. His cheeky laugh filled my ears as I moved to my feet once more.

The kitchen was empty when we entered, a rare occurrence at the compound, but not unpleasant. There was a hush that fell over the room as we sat and ate together. Out the window I could see a gray cast over the sky, wind causing the trees and bushes to sway rather violently. I twirled some pasta around my fork, glancing over at Pietro to find him already looking at me. With a raised eyebrow, I leaned back in my seat. “Is there something I can help you with?” He only grinned at me, continuing to clear his plate. A chill set into my flesh as I sat there, now regretting forgoing a jumper this morning. My body always seemed to forget how cold December was in New York. Not quite as cold as Russia, but these days my body was less adapted to the bone-chilling cold that was winter in Moscow. I rubbed a hand up and down my bare arms to combat the cool air. The sound of a fork clattering was followed by a blur of blue and silver and before I could even comprehend what had happened, Pietro was holding his jumper out to me. At first, I remained still, unsure how to react. He moved his hand slightly more toward me in a gesture of his offering. Slowly, hesitantly, I accepted the soft item, still warm from being on his body. “Aren’t you going to be cold?”

He shrugged. “Nah, I run pretty hot. You know – enhanced metabolism and all that.” I glanced down at the jumper in my hands, body stiff. “It’s not laced with poison or something, Nadia.” He teased. I rolled my eyes at him, finally slipping the jumper over my head and pulling it down. It pooled a little on me, but I didn’t mind, in fact, I rather liked it. The smell of him enveloped me, and it frightened me how at ease that made my body become.

“Thank you,” I murmured quietly, averting my eyes.

“You’re welcome. Besides, it looks better on you anyway.” A smile tugged at my lips. “Hey, since we are boyfriend and girlfriend now, do you think we should start using new pet names.” The smile faltered and I narrowed my eyes at him. “How do you feel about… babe?” The glint in his eyes told me everything I needed to know, that and the beginnings of that little shit-eating smirk forming on his lips.

“How do you feel about losing a limb?”

The smirk was no longer a mere whisper but now a prominent fixture of his expression. “You seem to be harboring a lot of rage.” He leaned a little closer to me, hand brushing my knee. “I could probably help with that.”

“Hello you two.” Cap greeted as he entered the room, staring down at a stack of envelopes. I watched Pietro with a narrowed gaze as he greeted Steve cheerily. “This came for you this morning, Nads.” He handed me an A4 envelope, before setting the rest of the mail down on the counter. “Can I talk to you in the conference room quickly, Pietro?”

When the two men were gone, I tore the seal off of the envelope, emptying its contents into my hands. A thick manila folder slid out. Along with a handwritten note.

I’ve never been good at letting go of a thread – Fury.

I flipped the folder open, its contents made me shoot up from my seat abruptly, slamming the file closed. Stowing it away under my arm, I swiftly made my way to my room, shutting the door and leaning against it. I closed my eyes for a long moment before flipping the file open once more, the first item in the folder was familiar, a S.H.I.E.L.D. dossier with my information on it, every agent has one. It described physical appearance, personal information, mission qualifications, and some other important intel. I’d seen it before; half the sections were covered with red ‘CLASSIFIED’ text. It was what followed my agent profile that had me slamming the folder closed once more. Another dossier, one I had never seen before. I didn’t even bother looking over the other documents that were in the file. I tossed it onto my bed and began to pace the length of my room. Why couldn’t Fury just let this go? I’d already told him I didn’t want him digging around in my past. I didn’t need to know; didn’t want to know. A knock on my door had me freezing in my spot. Natasha was away on assignment, so I knew it wasn’t her.

“Who is it?” I called.

“Ultron, I’ve come back for revenge,” Pietro called from the other side of the door.

I snatched the file from my bed, scanning my room for somewhere inconspicuous to hide it. “I was just joking it’s not actually Ultron, it’s just me… can I come in?” I jammed the folder into a space on my bookshelf. “What are you doing in there, Nadia?”

“You’re not funny,” I said when I yanked the door open to reveal him leaning on my doorframe with raised eyebrows.

“You love my jokes.” He pouted. “What took you so long to answer?”

“I was naked.” I taunted, moving aside to let him into the room.

He gasped, glancing over his shoulder at me in disbelief. “Well, you should have just said so, dragă, I could have helped you dress.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m sure you could have.”

“What can I say, I’m very helpful.”

“And just as irritating.”

He grinned at me. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“Guess!”

An exasperated sigh fell from me as I dropped onto my bed. “You’re joining forces with a robot man to destroy the Avengers?”

He glared at me, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re a very cruel woman.”

I smiled wryly, tilting my head slightly to the side. “Are you going to tell me or what?”

“Steve is sending me on assignment by myself.” My eyebrows shot up. “Well, technically Sam is coming too, but I’m the one leading, he’s just backup.” Pietro was practically vibrating with excitement, barely managing to contain his beaming smile. I processed his words, nerves ticking within me. He’d never been the lead on assignment before and I’d never not been with him. It was entirely bizarre to me to have these feelings towards someone, to be so indescribably concerned with the welfare of one person. Though, as Pietro stood before, struggling to fight back his glee, I decided to unpack my feelings later, but in the meantime, I refused to sour his moment.

A smile spread across my lips. “Wow, they grow up so fast.” I teased, standing up. He rolled his eyes and before I could blink my feet were off the ground and Pietro was engulfing me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck instinctively in order to not fall. He sped around the room, jumping and spinning. His speed had things flying around all over the place. The chaos of his intense excitement caused laughter to bubble within me. “Pietro!” My stomach hurt from laughing by the time he’d stopped. He dropped down on top of my bed with me beneath him. I laughed again as he let his full weight fall on me. “You’re crushing me.” I groaned out.

He lifted himself up on his arms that sat on either side of my head. “I cannot believe that Cap trusts me enough to do this!”

“Of course, he does, you’ve done nothing but prove yourself the entire time you’ve been here.”

His eyes softened, his smile turning gentle as he gazed down at me. “You know, I owe so much of this to you.”

My face contorted with confusion, and I asked him what he was talking about.

“You’re the one who trained me… you made me a real Avenger.”

His words pierced me so deeply that I felt as though I’d lost the ability to speak for a long moment. “I only taught you to fight, Pietro. You did the rest.” I smiled at him. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I don’t think that’s true but agree to disagree I suppose.” He pressed a soft kiss to my lips, moving to hold himself up on his elbows, face hovering just above mine. “Is this, okay?” He gestured toward our bodies. I nodded slowly. His lips met mine again and my hand slipped into his hair. I couldn’t get enough of the way his mouth felt against mine, of the way his lips tasted.

He brought my other arm up to wrap around him as well before dragging his hand down to my thigh and propping it over his hip. The feeling of his warm fingers dancing on the sliver of skin where my shirt and his jumper had ridden up had me shuddering. For almost the first time in my life I leaned into the sensation of a hand making contact with my bare skin. I felt feverish, my entire body burning up and the only thing that could save me was Pietro. I pulled him flush against me. He groaned softly into my mouth pushing the hair from my face and kissing down my jaw, the way he had in the training room, but this time I didn’t stop him. My fingers tugged on his hair, and I tilted my head back, giving him more room to move. His grip on me tightened slightly he halted, forehead pressing into my shoulder as his body lifted slightly so that it was no longer flush with mine. “What’s wrong?” I asked, breathlessly.

“Maybe we should stop...”

My face flushed and I let my hands fall from him. “Pietro… what’s wrong?” I saw his Adam’s apple bob, but he didn’t lift his head. “We don’t have to do this if that’s not what you want, we can just watch a movie or something…”

Finally, his blue eyes met mine. “Nadia.” He paused, scrubbing a hand down his face before shaking his head. “I do want this… Jesus, you have no idea how badly, I want this.” The pink flush across my face and chest was likely still prominent as he watched me. “But I promised you that we’d take this slow, and if we keep going, I don’t think that’s how this is going to go.” My hand fell over his cheek, the touch so light it was barely there. I moved it to his chest. It was far easier to think straight when there was a fabric barrier between us. That is what I had said, I wanted… needed to take things slow… but God if his words didn’t make me want his so much more.

I felt him beginning to retreat from me, attempting to put some distance between us. However, it wasn’t entirely clear whose benefit that was for. Whose self-control he was trying not to test any further.  I clutched his shirt in my hand, stopping him from going any further. When he was still and the air that I breathed wasn’t solely his I could no longer blame it on the proximity, and it became hard to deny what I was feeling; so, I stopped trying to. This time, I sought him out, sitting up so that we were face to face once more. “I don’t want slow, Pietro.” I slid my hand back up to sit at the side of his neck, just below his ear. “I just want you.”

He softened as I pulled him back down to kiss me, falling on top of me once again. Though, once again, it was short-lived. His lips were practically grazing mine as he spoke. “I want you too, Nadia. God, do I want you.” I tilted my head up a little more causing him to smile a little. “You have no idea how hard it is to stop, especially when you say things like that… but I want you to still want me, want this, in the morning. So, I still think we should wait, I don’t want it to be just the heat of the moment.”

I knew he was right. As infuriating as that fact was. I wanted him, so badly it felt like I couldn’t breathe. However, that was right now, but it wasn’t so long ago that just a touch had me tensing and pulling away. This couldn’t be a heat-of-the-moment decision, irrespective of whether I understood it or not, whatever this was between us was too important. I wouldn’t be reckless with it.

So, he rolled off of me and I let him. Taking a deep breath of the non-Pietro-tinted air. I closed my eyes and attempted to settle my highly strung nerve-endings. The bed shifted as Pietro moved to stand.

“You could stay.” I knew it was risky, particularly given what had happened between us earlier. Pietro froze in his spot, standing beside my bed watching me, with slightly raised eyebrows. There was silence between us for a long moment then. I shook my head. “You don’t have to…”

He shook his head, taking a step closer. “No, I do want to stay, I do. I just don’t want you to be offering unless that’s actually what you want.”

Was it what I wanted? My heart was racing and the prospect of sharing the bed frankly terrified me a little. It wasn’t as though we’d never shared a bed. We had in Moscow, but this felt entirely different. Maybe it’s because there, he was the one who was the more vulnerable, and here – now that I had nothing to hide behind, I was the vulnerable one. Even when we’d been so intimately close just now, no guards up, no defenses, that terrified me.

“I do… It’s just, a lot, but I do want you to stay.” To punctuate my words, I slid over a little more on my bed, flipping the covers back for him. He watched me carefully as he fiddled with the corner of the duvet. A small smile grew on his lips as he slowly got into the bed beside me. I settled back against the pillow, my heart still thumping against my chest as I lay on my side, facing him. He mirrored my position, moving a little closer, gazing tenderly at me. He reached over to turn the lamp off.

“Wait!” I shot up beside him, causing him to halt immediately. He sent me a questioning look, hand hovering in mid-air. My cheeks burned, embarrassment sizzling in me as I searched for words to explain my abrupt behavior. “I-There is something you should know first.” He dropped his hand to his side, nodding softly at me and gesturing for me to go on. “I can’t sleep in silence. I haven’t been able to ever since…” I swallowed heavily, running a hand through my hair. “I just can’t sleep without a reminder that I’m not there so F.R.I.D.A.Y. plays city sounds in my room at night. It is stupid I know, but that is the only way I can sleep so I get it if you don’t want to sleep in here now.”

The look he gave me then was hard to describe, one thing that stood out was the absolute lack of judgment in his eyes. He didn’t roll his eyes or sigh he just moved closer to me, hand ever so gently caressing my cheek. “It’s not stupid.” He spoke in absolutes. “And it does not have the slightest effect on me wanting to stay.” I let out a slightly shaky breath.

“Okay. I just thought I should tell you.” I leaned over him to turn off the light so that he wouldn’t see the shade my face had turned. Though it likely didn’t hide much as the second we laid down I felt his hand return to my cheek, moving the hair out of my face and smoothing over my skin. By the time the faint sounds of the city began filtering into the previously silent room I was far more occupied with the man who laid before me. I felt the warmth radiating from his chest and despite myself, I moved slightly closer to him. His free arm slid beneath my pillow, not actually touching me, just there, a solid, consistent reminder. His other hand remained on my cheek, playing with my hair, dusting across my warm skin.

“If you’re comfortable so am I.” His breath fanned over my face, his words a mere murmur. I barely recognized the stinging in my eyes until I felt the hot stream of liquid leave my eyes. There, lying in my bed with him touching my skin so intimately I was sure I’d never felt so at ease in my life. I had expected that prickling sensation of discomfort to set in, yet there was no trace of it as my heart slowed and my body melted into his hand.

His fingers grazed over my wet cheeks, halting for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was hushed. “Did I upset you?” I shook my head against his hand.

“I’m not upset.”

I felt him shift a little, more of his warmth radiating onto me. “But you’re crying.”

My chin grazed his shoulder when I moved, fingers shaky as they fell to his wrist. I smoothed my thumb over the soft flesh on the inner side of his arm, feeling the steady thump of his pulse. He wiped my tears away, soft in that way only Pietro knew how to be. “I’m not upset,” I repeated. “You just… I’m not good at saying these things… You just say and do things for me that no other person has ever done before. Things that I’ve never even realized I wanted someone to do, and you just know and… honestly, it scares the shit out of me, Pietro.” It was hushed, the tone in which I spoke to him. Just like it had been that day when we lay side by side in Central Park. Because some words were just for the two of us to share.

“I don’t want to scare you, Nadia.”

I smiled a little. “Well, you do. When I’m with you, I feel these things that I’ve never felt before, I don’t understand the feelings and I don’t know what to do with them all.”

He smoothed my hair back with his palm, just like he had earlier. “You could always give them to me. I’ll take them.”

I closed my eyes with those words lingering between us. His hand was still on my cheek, caressing, brushing through my hair. When sleep came, I welcomed it.

When I awoke during the night – as I did; there was no red, the panic came and went and the only thing that remained was the warmth of Pietro’s embrace.

…

Sunlight drew a warm line across my cheek as I awoke. My body was still heavy with sleep as I cracked my eyes open. The warm weight of Pietro’s arm lay over my shoulders, the man himself flat on his back, still fast asleep. My head was resting on his chest. The corners of my lips tugged upward as I watched him, a peaceful expression on his face. I laid my head over my arm, studying the arches of his eyebrows, the curve of his jaw, and the smooth pale skin of his cheeks. His nose crinkled slightly.

“Why are you staring at me, Prinţesă?” He cracked an eye open as he spoke, voice deep with sleep.

I looked away quickly. “I was not staring.” I scoffed.

 He snickered. “You’re not a very good liar, Nadia.”

“I’m an exemplary liar, actually, you’re just delusional.” His signature smirk appeared on his lips. I looked away quickly, hiding my smile. When I gazed out at my room I was shocked by the state of it. There were books and papers all over the place. I wracked my brain for what had possibly caused that mess before glancing back at Pietro accusingly. His expression turned sheepish.

“I was excited!” He defended.”

“You are like a bull in a China shop.” I tsked. He only shot me a toothy grin. He slipped from the warm embrace of the bed to begin collecting my belongings that had been strewn about. I rolled onto my back, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“Who is Nadia Morozova?”

I shot up at the mention of the name, Pietro stood across the room, striking with the sunlight pooling in my bedroom, in his hands was the file I’d thought I’d hidden yesterday. It must’ve fallen from the shelf when Pietro was running around.

With a heavy swallow and several long moments of hesitation, I finally spoke. “I am.” I got out of bed swiftly, grabbing the file out of his hands, and clutching it so tightly that the paper began to crinkle. “Pimenova is the name I took when I defected, originally it was Morozova.” The cold mask of indifference, I forced over myself chaffed as I stood in his unwavering gaze.

“Okay. So, what is that.” He pointed at the folder in my hands.

“My file,” I spoke as if it was obvious.

The corners of Pietro’s lips upturned. “Yes, but why is Nick Fury sending you your file.”

My grip tightened again on the manila folder.  I shrugged at the man before me. “What is this, an interrogation?”

“Actually, it’s this crazy thing called communicating, figured maybe we could try it.” He teased.

“Fury’s sending it to me because he can’t leave well enough alone.” Pietro raised an eyebrow at me, evidently not content with my answer. “I really don’t understand why you’re so invested.”

“Because you’re clearly upset.”

“Oh, for fucks sake, Pietro! Fury is hassling me because he thinks he’s found some bullshit lead on my biological family, but this isn’t the first time he’s saying that, and I had no interest in it then either.”

That momentarily silenced him. He furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t understand, why wouldn’t you want that?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Want what?”

“You have an opportunity to have a relationship with your family, to know them. Why wouldn’t you take it.”

“Because I don’t want it.”

“Why?”

I threw the file onto my bed, now empty hands clenching into fists at my side. “I just don’t.” 

“How can you say that?!” His tone was impassioned when he spoke, taking me by surprise. I didn’t understand what he was feeling right now. “If I had the choice, I would give anything to see my parents again, I don’t have that luxury. You do and you’re choosing wrong!”

“The luxury?” Before I could say anything else, Pietro cut me off.

“It isn’t even just about your parents, what if you have a sibling out there? You don’t even care? You’re just choosing to ignore it?”

My heart clenched and raced at the same time. I was incensed then. “Choosing?! That’s funny, really. I didn’t choose anything about this! You seriously have no idea what you’re talking about, you had a family Pietro! You still have Wanda. I never knew my parents or any siblings. I never had that. So don’t act like it’s even comparable. Even if I did have a family out there, they’d only be strangers to me and me to them, so what’s the difference anyway?” I blinked rapidly in an attempt to lessen the stinging in my eyes. Pietro’s eyes softened as he looked at me.

“Nadia-”

“I’d be doing them a disservice anyway. At least if they think I’m dead or missing or whatever, they can just remember me as the child they lost. The one they knew. I don’t want to ruin that memory for them.” He stared at me with parted lips, eyes gentle and a merciful look in them. I felt the tears break the barrier of my waterline and I was furious. Pietro was before me in an instant. My throat felt raw as I continued. “I don’t want them to know me…”

“Nadia… letting them know you is not a disservice. Knowing you is and always will be nothing less than a privilege.”

I shook my head, wiping frantically at my face to rid myself of the tears. “Just stop.”

“No, Nadia. Look at me.” He placed his hands on my shoulders, and I turned my face away from him. His hand brought me back, wiping the tears from each of my cheeks and forcing me to meet his eyes. “You need you to know that… I need you to know that!” The tears kept coming despite my hardest attempts to stop them. “Tell me you know that.” His voice was quieter then. When I didn’t respond, his hands eclipsed my cheeks, his eyes were wide and desperate as he looked at me. “You saved my life, again and again, you have saved so many people and never expected anything in return. Even when you didn’t trust me, or even particularly like me, you still trained me. You still helped me become an Avenger. You took me to New York, to your place because you knew I didn’t have one of my own. You gave my sister a clean slate. Why did you do all of that?”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “It was just the right thing to do.”

“But not everyone would have done it. You did. Because you’re a good person… more than that there aren’t words to describe how good you are inside, Nadia.” He didn’t let go of me once and even though I turned from him and pushed him, he knew that I didn’t actually want him to leave. He knew that I needed him, so he stayed and never even acknowledged it. “It kills me that you can’t see that.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “I need you to see that.”

I wrapped my arms around him. I hugged him and it terrified me still, but the only thing I felt was warm and golden. Everything wasn’t completely perfect, but it was okay.

It felt like daylight after years of clinging to the darkness of night.

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 20. Cherry

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Hi friends! Apologies for the wait on this chapter but I hope you enjoy nonetheless <33

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, Pietro and Nadia being Pietro and Nadia, some spice (only a little: like half a chili pepper), cursing, jealous Pietro.

The sound of running water filled my ears before I turned off the bathroom tap, drying my hands and face. When I put the towel down Pietro was leaning against the doorframe signature smirk across his lips.

“What?”

He shook his head, pushing off the wall to approach me. His hands braced on the counter, and he pulled us both forward so that I was pressed between him and the vanity. I could feel his breath on the side of my face as he leaned down toward me. He pressed a kiss to my cheekbone before turning my face by the chin to look at him. “This is all I can think about.” Before I could respond he was planting a scorching kiss against my lips, pressing me more firmly to the bench. The warmth that was always emanating from his body pressed into my back through the fabric of our clothes as he kissed down my neck, nipping at my shoulder. I leaned my head to the side giving him better access. Pietro’s hands squeezed my hips, one moving to the front to fiddle with the hemline of my t-shirt. My heart was racing as his hand slipped beneath the fabric, smoothing across my stomach and up my ribs to rest just below my bra. “Is this what you want?” He murmured against my ear as I threw my head back. “You want me to touch you?” I felt incapable of words then. Pietro turned me to face him swiftly before lifting me and slipping me onto the bench behind us, his body pressed to mine as he stood between my legs. “Tell me what you want, Prinţesă.” In a moment of confidence, I lifted my shirt over my head, tossing it across the room and grabbing his hand to place it over my heart that was thrumming in my chest. He moved impossibly closer, his hand sliding to cup my breast over my bra, his lips were on me again almost instantly, trailing wet kisses down my collarbone and sternum.

“I want- I want…” He spread my legs, falling to his knees between them and that was when I woke up, launching upright in bed and clenching the duvet to my chest. “What the fuck?” I muttered to myself running a hand through my hair. I could not believe I had just dreamed that I must have been going insane. Try as I might it seemed impossible to part with the images that had invaded my slumber, a cold shower didn’t even do the trick.

I resolved that perhaps a run was in order to clear my head. Dressed and prepared to head off, I yanked the door to my room open rushing swiftly into the hall only to walk directly into someone. The collision almost had me stumbling but two warm hands holding my upper arms righted me. Pietro smiled sweetly at me and apparently that was enough to set my heart racing. “Good morning, Nadia, wherever are you off to in such a rush?” I swallowed hard as I looked at him, his hair was damp as though he’d just gotten out of the shower, he wore a blue and white crewneck sweatshirt, and it was enough to make me lightheaded. I was irritated, to say the least at my body’s ridiculous reaction to him.

“I… was going to go for a run.” It was quiet and didn’t sound anything like me. He furrowed his eyebrows a little.

“Is everything alright?” I nodded quickly, side-stepping him with a clenched jaw. The soft look in his eyes was too much to bear right now. “Liar.” He snickered, following closely behind me. “What’s wrong?”

I shrugged, not looking back at him but apparently that wouldn’t fly with him. He took ahold of my wrist gently, spinning me to face him and taking a step closer. I sighed exasperatedly. “Nothing’s wrong, really, I’m just tired.” I managed a little smile to appease him, though it came easier than I’d expected. It faltered, however, when he moved ever closer. He reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, the corner of his lips upturned in the whisper of an earnest smile. He leaned down and kissed me softly, just once before pulling away. I leaned up, chasing his lips with my own and kissing him again.

“So, I’m assuming we’re still on the same page about the boyfriend, girlfriend thing?” My smile returned, brighter now as I nodded at him. “Good, glad we cleared that up.” His lips were on mine once again and I breathed a laugh against them. “You’re going for a run?”

I said yes.

He hummed. “Okay, I’ll come with you.” I tensed slightly, images of him pressed against me flickered through my mind. “… Or I don’t have to if you don’t want?”

God why was he so fucking considerate?!

“No, I do want you to!” I almost cringed at my words. Pietro raised an eyebrow at me. “I do want you to come with me.”

“You’re being very strange.” He hadn’t let up on me. From the door of my bedroom and the duration of our run he’d pestered me, encouraging me to tell him what was bothering me. “Please, draga mea.” My darling. I only ran faster. A streak whirled past me before stopping in my path. Pietro crossed his arms over his chest, watching me expectantly. I raised an eyebrow at him. “Tell me what’s going on.” He spoke firmly.

My hands fell over my hips, and I narrowed my eyes at the man before me. “I told you nothing is going on.”

That little smart-ass smirk made a home on his lips, and he took a step closer to me. “And I think you’re full of shit, so let’s try it again.”

“Or what?” I bit back. “What will you do?”

My sass had his smirk doubling in size, his eyes narrowing for a moment, before flickering down to my hands that remained settled on my hips. He crossed the space between us, stopping right in front of me. “What would you like me to do, Prinţesă?”

The moment he spoke that word my heart skipped, mind unable to stop thinking about his lips all over me. I dug my fingers into my sides, attempting to steel myself.

“You’re pissing me off.”

“Par for the course at this point, and you’re the one who wanted to be my girlfriend so...” He shrugged, eyes dipping to my lips momentarily. I couldn’t handle this proximity. There was the slightest sheen of sweat on his forehead and his hair had become tousled by the wind, falling a little messily around his eyes. “Tell me.” He urged yet again.

“Jesus Christ, Pietro! I just had a strange dream, alright?!”

He looked indescribably pleased with himself. “Okay.” He nodded. “Was it about me?” The tone he took was nothing if not teasing, an attempt to rile me up, lighten the tension but my brain seemed content to short-circuit the moment he’d spoken those words. My unwitting hesitation certainly did not go unnoticed by him and before I could defend myself, he was speaking again. “Oh my god, it absolutely was!” He was positively beaming at me then.

“No! No, it had nothing to do with you, idiot!”

“Was it dirty? What was I doing in the dream? Was I as handsome as I am in real life?” I groaned, pushing past him and picking up my pace again. “You’re going to have to run faster than that.” He appeared before me again, running backward so he could continue to taunt me. “Walk me through it, play-by-play, spare no detail. Was it the first time you’d dreamt of me? It must have been some dream for you to be acting so weird after.”

I shook my head, settling on ignoring him now. This only seemed to please him though, there was no winning here. He put his hands out to stop me once more. I rolled my eyes heavily, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m getting sick of this conversation very quickly.”

“Okay, okay, just one more question and I’ll drop it.”

“Fine! What?” I asked exasperatedly.

“What were we doing in your dream?”

His voice dropped as he spoke; I swallowed heavily feeling a little light-headed. This was not okay, I wasn’t about to let him have all the power so I shifted gears, letting my weight fall to one hip and closing the distance between us, moving to my tip toes so I could brush my lips over his. His breathing stuttered a little and I could feel his heart racing as my hand landed on his chest. “I could tell you. Or…” I placed one small peck on his lips, pulling back just a little to see his eyes closed, lips chasing mine. “I could show you.” His lips parted and his hands found my hips.

“Nadia.” He leaned forward to kiss me, but I pulled back out of reach, prompting his eyes to open. He furrowed his eyebrows at me. “What-”

“One more question and you’ll drop it, right? Isn’t that what you said?” A look of utter betrayal and indignation crossed his features then, but I was running off before he could utter anything else.

I was laughing the whole way back to the compound, ignoring the streak the shot passed me partway back. When I arrived, Pietro stood on the grass, waiting with his arms crossed. “That was not very nice.”

“Well, you were the one who wanted to be my boyfriend.” I taunted, feigning a pouty face at him as I walked by.

“Oh, I see, you think you’re very funny.”

I walked into the kitchen with Pietro hot on my tail. The smell of cinnamon and freshly baked goods overtook me the moment I stepped into the room. Vision stood behind the counter, a baking tray in his hands. “Good morning, Nadia and Pietro.” He placed the tray down to reveal cinnamon rolls as he poured frosting over. I furrowed my eyebrows watching the strange man intently. “Would you like to try one?” He offered, looking back up at me and placing one of the desserts on a plate which he inched toward me.

“These are insanely good, Vis,” Sam spoke from the table, throwing the last bite of his roll into his mouth. I hesitantly approached the counter, inspecting the food before picking it up. It smelled divine but the idea of eating something baked by the peculiar humanoid creature before me was a little off putting. Before I could take a bite Pietro leaned over me, demolishing half the roll in a single mouthful. I narrowed my eyes at him as he grinned back, licking the icing from his lips slowly.

“You are pushing it,” I warned the silver-haired man who merely snorted in response.

“Ah, young love.” Tony sighed entering the room and stealing a cinnamon roll from the tray.

I bit into mine soon after, shocked by the explosion of flavor on my tastebuds. “Jesus that’s good.” I stuffed the cinnamon roll into my mouth before Pietro could steal anymore. “Do you even eat; how do you know how to bake?”

“I have no need to consume nutrients in the way humans do, though, I can simulate the ‘eating’ action if it would make you more comfortable.” There was silence between us for a moment as I stared blankly at him, unmoving. “And I used the internet to learn the recipe for these.”

“Okay.”

I turned around stiffly, wandering over to the table where Natasha sat, Pietro heading off to pester his sister. Approximately the second I sat down Nat was laying out possible options for what I would wear to the gala.

“There’s a strip of boutiques about a 30-minute drive from here, we can head over later today to have a look.” I nodded, taking a sip of my juice. “Also, I invited Wanda,” Natasha spoke so quickly that her words almost jumbled into one. I choked on my drink, coughing violently, and taking another sip to ease the discomfort. The look I gave her would have had a lesser woman cowering, but she didn’t even flinch under my glower. “Oh, do not even act like that, Nadia. I know you too well to be fooled by this whole act, you don’t hate her and I’ve had enough of the division, the girls need to stick together.”

I rolled my eyes, letting my head fall back with an exasperated sigh. “Why must you force the high road on me so often.”

…

The dress I selected was crisp white satin, one shoulder, with a slit that rose up to the apex of my thigh. Natasha shoved a pair of matching elbow-length gloves into my hands and would not hear any protest on the matter. Wanda and I had exchanged barely a sentence with one another on the drive here, it was strange. I didn’t really know what to say to her, how does one begin the journey to the high road? She fiddled with a sage green slip still on a hanger as I took a seat on the plush round ottoman that sat by the fitting rooms. I had felt her glancing at me from time to time as we waited for Nat to finish trying on her pile of dresses.

“Full disclosure, I know about you and Pietro.” I looked over at her then. “He didn’t tell me; I just know him too well and I might have dug around in his head a little to confirm my suspicions. Anyway, the point is, I know that you don’t exactly like me, but I think you’re good for him and his happiness is the only thing that matters to me, so I just wanted to say I’m really happy you have each other.”

“Trust is not something that comes particularly easy to me, and we did not start on a very positive foot. I don’t dislike you, Wanda, but I also don’t trust you.”

She nodded a merciful look in her eyes. “I understand, and I don’t blame you.”

“But… I am willing to start anew. What is the expression? A clean slate?” Her eyes lit up at my words, the corners of her lips upturning. “I cannot promise that I will ever trust you,” I added. “But we can try to start over if that’s what you want.”

Her expression was soft, gratitude and relief shining in her eyes. “Hi, I’m Wanda.”

I almost laughed at the gesture. This was pretty ridiculous, and I could not help but think back to the day in the shipyard. The debilitatingly traumatic memories she’d forced me to relive, the feeling of the cold concrete against my palms as I begged to leave the mind prison, she’d locked me in. The thought made me hesitate, a voice in the back of my head screaming at me to turn my back and continue the cold shoulder routine. She’d proven she couldn’t be trusted, why should I give her another chance? However, despite that, despite my reservations and distrust I silenced the voice, swallowing heavily and meeting her eyes once more. “Nice to meet you, Wanda, I’m Nadia.”

“Oh my god, you guys have got to see this dress!” Natasha called from the fitting room.

Some of us elected to stay in the city for the gala, rather than travel from the compound on the night of the event. I had no strong opinion on either option as long as we got this night over quickly and as painlessly as possible. I’d attended these fundraisers before, the cause was good and completely not what I took issue with. The part that I loathed was being forced to schmooze with the New York elite as they pretended to care about the poor and disenfranchised. The whole thing felt disingenuous, and I’d rather steer clear of it altogether, but I would have no such luck. Unfortunately for me being a public figure came as a package deal with this whole Avenger thing. I’d managed to mostly avoid it until now.

I sighed exasperatedly as I sipped from the champagne that Natasha had poured for me whilst she did my hair. “Don’t be so dramatic, it’ll be nice to have a night out, and you love the city.” I met her eyes in the mirror before rolling mine heavily.

“Why are you so set on this?”

“Because I think it will be a nice change of pace for us all. A chance to let our hair down and have a moment of normalcy.”

“In other words, you’re doing this to avoid thinking about something else… someone else?”

She pulled my hair a little harder than necessary, causing me to scowl at her reflection. She didn’t even pretend to be innocent as she glanced up to meet my eyes for a split second. Her face pulled into an expression of distaste. “And I thought you didn’t understand people.”

The corners of my lips upturned, and I shrugged a little. “I don’t, I just know you.”

She shook her head, remaining quiet for a long while. I watched her as she continued pinning and fiddling with strands of my hair. “Fury said they got a ping off the quinjet. It gives a radius of where its last location was. It could be a lead.”

“But?”

“He left for a reason, Nads, I’m not sure going after him wouldn’t be purely selfish.” I nodded slowly, taking a beat to process her words. I didn’t really know what the solution was, what would make her happiest in the long term because part of me wanted to tell her to throw logic to the side and go after him but the other part of me agreed with what she was saying. Going to find him when he obviously wanted to be alone may not have been the best course of action, but in the same breath I didn’t want her to get stuck in time; unable to move forward because she was too caught up. “So maybe we just wait him out? Circle a date some time from now and if there’s still no word from him by then we go find him.” She placed a hand on my shoulder for a second, still looking down at my hair, but I knew she’d heard me. “I heard you and Wanda talking at the boutique.” She unraveled the strand of hair she’d been curling. “It was nice what you did, very unlike you, but nice.”

“You don’t think I’m nice?” A cheeky grin spread across my lips as I met her eye in the mirror.

She breathed a laugh. “Truthfully, I think that you’re a little sweetheart who likes people to think she’s heartless. That being said, clean slates aren’t really you’re thing.”

“No, they’re not.” I watched her as she began to pin strands of hair back into a curly updo. “Perhaps I’m going soft.” I teased.

“Or someone has proven to you that it is okay to be a little more open.”

I rolled my eyes at her. “Okay, enough of the mushy, deep, and meaningful shit I beg it’s beginning to make me sick.”

“Yeah, definitely not getting soft.” She hummed gesturing that she was done with my hair. I checked her handy work in the mirror nodding approvingly at the hairstyle. “Jesus, you look good, it’s really very difficult to get ready around you when you look like that.”

“Oh, shut up, look at yourself, woman.” She glanced in the mirror nodding as if she saw my point and smoothing her hands down her black dress. I giggled at her antics, adjusting the buckle of my shoe and doing one final check of my outfit before approaching the door.

When the elevator doors opened the first thing I saw was the back of his head, silver hair neatly styled atop. The second my heels clicked against the ground he spun around to face me, stiffening almost instantly. My heart rate spiked as his eyes traveled down to my feet before dragging ever so slowly back up my form, before finally meeting my gaze, eyebrows raised, and lips parted. He looked like something out of a dream; literally. He was in a midnight blue tuxedo that fit him like a glove. I’d never seen him so dressed up before I realized. I liked it… a lot. Words did not come easily to me as I watched him approach at a glacial pace.

“I don’t think I should kiss you right now.”

“Why?” The word was out before I could stop it, breathy and quiet.

His lips upturned at my tone, though that glint remained present in his eyes. “Because if I do, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”

I couldn’t bite back the smile that was forming across my lips. My fingertips slid down his forearm, intertwining with his as I moved to kiss the corner of his mouth. “I like you’re suit.”

The drive to the venue consisted of both of us stealing glances at each other and smiling at our laps like school children. As much as I found it absurdly childish behavior – I couldn’t seem to stop. “So, what exactly is a gala?” He finally spoke up.

I rolled my eyes at the reminder. “It’s like a charity, fundraiser thing.”

“Is that not a good thing?” I shrugged at his words. “Why do you hate the idea so much.”

“In theory, yes, it’s a good thing. In practice, it’s an antiquated ceremony for the wealthy to talk about how good of people they are.” One side of his mouth lifted with amusement. “And besides, I hate most things, so it’s not exactly a high bar.”

“Not me though.” He teased, rolling his head on the headrest to face me. I raised an eyebrow at him. “You don’t hate me… you like me too much.” My eyes rolled again, though a little smile broke out across my lips.

The chandelier hung in the center of the room painted the walls in a yellow glow. Pietro scanned the quickly filling room as we entered, though he seemed more interested in the art that hung from the walls rather than the company. I turned to him then. “If I’m going to get through this, I’m going to need hard liquor.”

He laughed at my words. “I’m going to use the toilet; I want to know if it’s as fancy as the rest of this place.”

I shook my head, breathing a laugh as I split from his side and approached the bar. “Scotch on the rocks please.”

The bartender nodded, beginning to pour ice into a crystal glass.

“I just worry about the detriment to the city, isn’t giving the money just encouraging laziness that leads to homelessness in the first place.” I scanned the men who stood just a few paces from me. Balding, middle-aged, Rolex on their wrists.

I sighed heavily, turning back to the bartender. “Actually, could you make it a double?”

A breathy laugh filled my ears, prompting me to glance toward the man who’d just stepped up to the bar, placing his drink down beside me. “My sentiments exactly.” He added, beginning to fold up the long cane that was in his hands. I didn’t recognize the dark-haired man peering in my direction from dark red lenses. Well, likely not actually looking, I realized putting together the context clues. I chose to hum dismissively in place of an actual response. He smiled toward the ground, evidently not put off by my cold countenance. “Not a fan of these events I take it?”

“Oh, no, I love nothing more than listening to self-important old men speak.”

The man laughed again. “I’m guessing you’re Nadia?” I narrowed my eyes at him, leaning back a little in my seat and crossing my arms. “I know Tony Stark.” He clarified. “He told me to look out for you. Well, not look, but you know what I mean.”

The corners of my lips tugged upward just slightly, a very minuscule laugh falling from me. “Oh, so he warned you about me?”

“Not exactly, he might have mentioned you were something of a cynic.”

I rolled my eyes, thanking the bartender when he placed my drink before me. “Some say cynic, I say realist.”

His smile brightened. “I’m Matt, by the way.”

“Good for you.”

Truthfully, I was expecting him to walk away at that, yet he only laughed again. I did not understand what it was about me that made others think I was interested in chit-chatting. Perhaps it was my sunny disposition, or perhaps I smiled too much. “Okay, so Tony wasn’t bluffing.” He sat down beside me. “So, realist, why are you here if you hate it so much?”

“Because I was told by a very scary redhead that I didn’t have a choice.” He snickered at my answer. “I don’t exactly hear you jumping to the defense of this particularly cruel breed of torture, so why are you here?”

“I guess you could call it networking. My law partner and I are here on behalf of our firm.”

I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest and turning in my seat to face him. “Why are you still talking to me?”

His eyebrows rose slightly, and a startled chuckle fell from his lips. “Maybe I’m a masochist… or maybe I just like the sound of your voice.”

“Yes, she has a very nice voice.” Pietro appeared beside me, eyeing Matt, with a tight smile across his lips.

Matt tilted his head in Pietro’s direction, lips upturned as he sipped his drink. “I don’t believe we’ve met, I’m Matthew Murdock.” He held his hand toward a very tense man at my side. Pietro reached across me, his cologne overtaking my senses along with the warmth radiating from him, our eyes met for just a moment as he took my drink and downed it before turning back to Matt and finally shaking his hand. I looked between the two, mildly amused by the bizarre interaction.

“Pietro Maximoff.”

I raised an eyebrow at the way his voice sounded but he ignored the look. “Nice to meet you, Pietro. Nadia and I were just discussing our shared dislike of these events.” Matt said, gesturing around the room.

“Is that right?” Pietro’s hand moved to grip the back of my chair. “Well, apologies for interrupting such a fascinating conversation but I need to borrow Nadia.” Before Matt could respond, Pietro was heading toward the staircase.

I excused myself, attempting to contain my amusement as I followed the silver-haired man. He continued walking ahead of me until he reached a room off the hall of the second floor, where he pushed the door open and waited for me to enter. The room appeared to be a small lounge of some kind, with book-lined walls and a sitting area consisting of a chaise lounge and armchairs. I walked into the room, turning to watch him enter and close the door behind himself.

When he looked at me again his eyebrows were raised, and his mouth was drawn into a tight frown.

“What?”

“Are you serious?”

I sat on the arm of one of the armchairs. Easily one of the worst parts of this whole human empathy thing was caring so much what other people were upset about. I couldn’t deny though that when it was Pietro, I couldn’t stop caring. “Why are you acting strange?”

“Oh, I’m sorry were we not just in the same room? I leave you alone for 5 minutes and you’ve already got yourself an admirer.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Obviously. He was clearly flirting with you!”

I rolled my eyes at his words. “So?” I shrugged.

“So?!”

“I wasn’t flirting with him so what does it matter.”

Pietro’s jaw clenched and he paced before me. “It matters.” He shook his head; I could practically see the steam emanating from his ears. It made the tingling that was present in my belly intensify. “And you know what? It’s because of this damn dress! You look fucking devastating, of course, he’d flirt with you.”

I breathed a laugh. “Something tells me the way I look didn’t have much to do with it.”

He sent a sharp glare my way, evidently not amused. “You think this is funny?” He raised an eyebrow, stopping before me.

“Yes. Very.”

The air between us was electric as he moved closer, the corners of his lips quirking upward. “I don’t think it is.”

“Who knows Pietro, maybe it’s my dazzling personality, or innate approachability, it’s one of life’s mysteries I suppose.” I knew I was pissing him off, but that only made me want to keep going. “Why are you so mad?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you’re my girlfriend so I don’t particularly like the idea of some guy thinking about you in that way.”

“And what way is that?”

His chest grazed mine as he took a step forward. “The way I think about you.”

“It doesn’t matter how he thinks of me, Pietro.” The muscle in his jaw feathered but I continued before he had the chance to protest. “It doesn’t matter because I don’t think of him in that way. I don’t think of him in any way.” He didn’t seem completely satisfied with this, so I decided to give a little more of myself, lay myself slightly barer before him. “How could I? when you already occupy so much space in my brain. It’s hard to even consider other men when I’m already completely obsessed with you.”

My thumb brushed over his cheekbone, bringing him down to press my lips against his, punctuating my words, branding us both with them. We were sharing the same air as we stood there, bodies not completely flush yet warmth travelled across my flesh. “You drive me insane, Nadia.” He clenched his hands at his sides, taking a step back from me.

I asked him what he meant.

“Don’t you understand that what you just said is exactly how I feel about you? Do you know what it does to me when you tell me that you feel the same way?” He shook his head. “It’s maddening.” I swallowed heavily, watching him run a hand through his hair before turning back to face me. “And don’t think that I’m completely over the flirting thing, I’m still annoyed.”

“Oh my god, Pietro.” My hands fell to my hips. “Grow up.” The moment I’d spoken I could practically feel the band of tension begin to snap, his eyes narrowed slightly, and he moved toward me once again.

He scoffed. “Say that again.” My heart was racing, lips curving upward a little. A quiet laugh fell from me.

I repeated myself and the air between us was pure electricity.

“You know what, Nadia? I might feel better if you told me about your dream.” It all happened very quickly, I moved to shove him in the chest, a vexed expression on my face. However, before my palms made contact, he’d snatched my wrists up and pressed them against the wall above my head. My back was flush with the cold surface, the air momentarily knocked out of me. His maneuver was not particularly forceful, but the underlying context had my chest rising and falling a little faster. I glanced up at our hands, watching his fingers intertwine with mine. His lips ghosted over mine and I found myself unwittingly arching toward him, bringing a soft smirk to his lips. “Is it still funny?”

“A little.” I breathed out, still taunting even when my body felt as though it was burning up. The laugh that left him was dry, frustration evident in his tone.

When he kissed me, it felt like life or death. Like my air supply was his as well and we both needed it to survive. I pushed my body toward his and soon he got the message, moving closer, using his chest to press me flush to the wall once more. I gasped slightly against his mouth as our bodies melded together. It was bizarre, the way I felt like I was melting into him so easily, but my muscles still stiffened, my body was defensive at the touches even when they weren’t ones that I disliked. My heart was racing, thumping so hard against my chest I could feel it in my ears. The first real tug of my arms against his grip had Pietro loosening his hold and setting my hands free. One went to the back of his head, threading through his soft, silver locks, the other gripped his shoulder. I could feel one of his hands at my ribs, sliding down to my hip. It was like everything shut off for a second when his fingers slid into the slit of my dress, grazing over my thigh. I tensed so completely that Pietro pulled back, for a second the air felt too thick to swallow. He whispered an apology to me, attempting to move his hand from my leg but I caught it before he could, placing my own over his and bringing it back to my thigh. I clenched my jaw, forcing my eyes to open and let the light in once more. He was the first thing I saw. I pressed my forehead further against his, gazing into his eyes and reminding myself that I wasn’t in danger, he wouldn’t hurt me. My heart returned to the pace it had been earlier, one of keen anticipation rather than discomfort. The tension in my muscles eased and he was waiting patiently for me to make a move, an indescribable softness in his blue eyes and then it was Pietro, and I was still a little afraid, but I was okay.

“I meant it the other day when I said that I wanted you to touch me.” I dragged his hand higher up my leg, the silky, white fabric of my dress sliding upwards, revealing more of my flesh to him.

“Fucking hell.” He breathed, head dipping toward the crook of my neck, not quite touching it though. He lifted my leg to sit over his hip and I wrapped my arm around the back of his neck. When he lifted his head, his nose grazed my cheek before he planted a small kiss against my lips again. He pulled away to gaze into my eyes, leaning against me. I looked right back, seeing myself reflected in his bright, beautiful eyes. It was there; right there, that I realized it. I was completely and utterly fucked.

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 19. Mine all mine

Previous chapter

Masterlist

This chapter is a little longer than the others but I promise time flies when you're having fun and I had a bucket load of fun writing this! I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for reading<3

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, Pietro and Nadia being Pietro and Nadia, defining the relationship (FINALLY)

I cringed as I watched Pietro cram a forkful of eggs and bacon into his mouth before taking a large bite of his toast. “What?” He spoke as he chewed. I grimaced and looked down at my own plate.

“You are truly vile.”

He grinned. “You like it. Besides, I’m a growing boy I need my nutrients.” He gulped down his juice before continuing to scoff his breakfast. He pointed at my plate with his fork. “Are you going to eat that?”

I pulled the plate toward myself, narrowing my eyes at him. “Yes.” Although, my stomach was filled to the brim and another mouthful would surely make me sick. The wounded expression on his face had me rolling my eyes at him, yet I slid the plate across the table nonetheless.  

“Hey, I have a question.” I sighed exasperatedly at his words, but he chose to ignore my antics. “Why do you like the city so much?”

I shrugged, considering his question. “I don’t know. I guess it’s just the first place where I felt really free.” It was nonchalant, the way I spoke to him then. It struck me as a little funny how easily that came from me now when not that long ago the thought of exchanging more than a few necessary words with him had me running for the hills.

He nodded, evidently pondering my words. “That makes sense, I guess I just don’t really have somewhere like that. Sokovia is where my parents died and there was always so much conflict there, then there was Strucker and his compound. When Wanda and I joined the Avengers, we came straight here and I suppose this place is that for me, but I never really saw a lot of the city.”

I swallowed heavily, looking down at my mostly empty plate. “It’s really not that good, it smells strange, and most people hate the light pollution.”

��You don’t have to feel bad for me.” He spoke up, putting an end to my rambling.

“I don’t.”

He smiled at me. “Okay.”

I could feel his eyes on me from my peripheral, but I refused to glance at him, the stubborn pride that lived within me begging me to continue the charade of indifference. Yet Pietro was a worthy opponent, never seeming willing to let me get away with it, completely unfazed by my tricks. Finally, my eyes met his, reluctantly. His smile only grew. “What?”

“Nothing.”

The awareness I had of my heart then annoyed me. “I don’t feel bad for you.”

“You said that.”

That damn smile, constantly lingering, a little cheeky, and always charming. “Good, then you know.” He hummed, leaning back in his seat after clearing both our plates. “I don’t know why you are looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“You know what.”

He shook his head, smile never even faltering. “I don’t think I do, Nadia.”

“Oh, for fucks sake! I don’t like that you don’t have a place, and I don’t like that those things happened to you. Alright, happy now?!”

“You don’t like that what things happened to me?”

“Jesus, do I have to spell it out for you?” He nodded eagerly. “I don’t like that bad things happened to you.”

There was silence between us for a long while then. I looked at my lap, my cheeks burned. My heartbeat filled was ears, thrumming against my sternum. I had to admit, telling him the truth got a little easier each time I did it but that didn’t make it completely painless. “For what it's worth… I don’t like that bad things happened to you either.”

My eyes met his again and just like that, his smile was back. Try as I might to fight it the corners of my mouth tugged upward in kind.

…

His flesh glistened under the low lights as he pulled his shirt over his head, using it to wipe the sweat from his forehead. I swallowed heavily, drinking a little faster from my bottle. Returning to the mat with him, I gestured for him to approach. The corners of his lips were upturned as he looked me up and down, taking a few steps further onto the mat.

“Go on then, Prinţesă, what’s your next move?”

I smiled at him. “Funny I was going to ask you the same question.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “How about you lead for once, Pietro.” His smile turned menacing, and he took another slow step toward me.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

He moved quickly, just the way I’d taught him, striking with precision. I dodged easily, almost laughing in his face at his predictability until he swerved at the last minute and moved the opposite way he had been, dodging my impending attack and grabbing around my waist and taking me to the ground on my back. He took my wrists in each of his hands restraining them above my head with a shit-eating grin wide across his face. I narrowed my eyes at him. “So, you are capable of strategizing?”

Pietro chuckled, low and utterly taunting. “You have an awful lot of attitude for someone who’s on their back.” I shot him a venomous glare.

“Oh, don’t worry it won’t be that way for long.”

My words only seemed to both entertain and entice him as his grin grew in size, revealing his teeth to me. The look faltered for a moment as he glanced down toward my hip. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” One of his hands drifted down my arm to sit beside my hip on the mat, fiddling with the side of my shirt.

I shook my head at him. “I’m fine. Dr. Cho used her weird magic medicine and it’s almost completely healed. She said she doesn’t even think it’s going to scar.” When he still seemed unconvinced, I brought my now freed hand down to lift the side of my shirt and reveal the now only slightly marred flesh. “See all better.” Still, he scanned the place where the wound had been. With some hesitation, I let my hand find his cheek, bringing his face back up so he'd meet my eyes again. “You didn’t hurt me, I promise.”

His nose grazed mine as he leaned forward slightly, his breath dancing across my cheek making my eyes flutter for a moment. My lips upturned just slightly as I leaned upward into him, grazing my lips over his for a split second before locking my legs around him and using my free hand to cross his chest and flip us so he was on his back. Before he could regain the upper hand, I moved my legs to restrain him and held his wrists above his head just like he’d done to me. His look of indignation had me biting back a laugh. “That was completely unfair!”

“How many times have I told you to focus?”

He raised both eyebrows at me, I knew him well enough to know the look he was giving me meant trouble. “Well, that’s a lot to ask of me right now, you know how I feel about you in this position, Prinţesă.” I rolled my eyes at him, leaning down and letting my eyes drop to his lips ever so slowly. He strained his neck to reach me, but I pulled back just a little when he got close. “Really?”

“You’re not getting what you want until you show me you can stay focused.”

“Oh, as if you weren’t just undressing me with your eyes!”

My gaze narrowed at his words, and I scoffed at him. “Are you actually delusional?”

He smirked. “We both know I’m not. You say I don’t know how to focus but when it comes to you, I seem to manage just fine.” He licked his lips, I scolded myself for letting my eyes track the movement. His lips twitched upward, and he bucked me off of him before enveloping me in a blur of blue. “Looks like I’m not the only one struggling to focus on the task at hand.”

“You’re a prick, you know that?”

“You tell me quite often, but I have a sneaky suspicion that you like it. That’s why I best you so often.”

The gasp I let out was equal parts disbelief and indignation. “Now I’m sure of it, you really have lost your mind. In what world do you ever beat me?”

He only smiled at me. “I got you to admit you were obsessed with me.” I opened my mouth to protest, with some choice words however he beat me to it. “In fact, I have a wager for you, call it a friendly competition.”

“Pray tell?”

“I’m not going to kiss you again until you admit that I distract you just as much as you distract me. You admit that I’m not delusional and these lips are all yours.”

A hearty laugh tumbled from me. “You’re challenging me to a test of self-control? You do realize who you’re talking to right?” He grinned down at me. “What do I get when I win?”

“My undying affections?” I raised a single eyebrow at him. “Fine, I’ll admit that you were right.”

“You’re never going to win this.” He shrugged, toothy grin never faltering. I sighed exasperatedly. “Deal.”

His lips were on mine then, it was passionate and had my body melting into a puddle of mush. The way he kissed was hard to describe at the best of times, it was fervent, borderline sacred, and hungry in equal measure. I was left breathless when he pulled back, hovering barely an inch from me. My eyes remained closed. “See I’m already winning, Nadia, look at you, letting me distract you so easily.” My eyes shot open, a glare immediately taking over my expression. My ire only amused him further. He bumped his nose with mine. “I hope you enjoyed that because there won’t be any more for a while, not until you give in, at least.” He held my wrists in one hand, his other moved over my hip. I winced hard, shutting my eyes tightly as I released a cry of agony. He let go of my hip instantly, freeing my hands and sitting up in one swift movement. “Are you okay? What happened?” I flipped up before he could even contemplate what was happening, forcing him onto the mat on his stomach and sitting on his back this time around.

I put a hand by his head, leaning down to look into his beautiful blue eyes, his face squished into the mat. “Remind me who is winning again?” I raised my eyebrow, a grin spreading across my lips.

“You deceitful minx!”

In all honesty, I’d expected Pietro to break before dinnertime, yet surprisingly he had remained steadfast in his endeavor. He’d sat across from me at dinner, sending me cheeky glances from across the table but showing no sign of giving in or even struggling.

This pattern continued for days, four to be specific, and I was becoming antsy. How the hell was he so calm and collected? It’s Pietro for god’s sake, there is no way he could pull this off; was there?

I was becoming less sure as the days passed and my anger was growing insurmountable as I felt the magnetism between us begin to itch.

On the fifth night, I sat beside Natasha at the table, humming around a bite of pizza that was especially cheesy and delicious. I watched Pietro’s jaw tense at the sound, prompting me to do it again. He met my gaze, his eyes narrowed but an unreadable expression sat across his face. Wanda was off somewhere with Vision and Sam was sleeping off his last mission. It was only Steve, Pietro, Natasha, and I at the table now. Cap spoke casually to Pietro about something whilst Nat described the dress, she was planning on wearing for the benefit we were invited to that would take place in a couple of weeks.

“I think the plunging neckline is important, color wise I’m thinking classic black is the only choice and…” I licked my lips slowly using a single finger to wipe over the area before bringing it to my mouth, all whilst looking directly at Pietro. “Are you even listening to me?” Natasha asked. Pietro stood from the table abruptly, going to place his plate on the sink and leaving the room. I smiled to myself.

“Yes of course. Black dress, plunging neckline.” I shoved the rest of my pizza slice in my mouth and smiled at her.

Natasha raised her eyebrows at me. “What are you planning on wearing, Pimenova?”

I shrugged. “Well for starters I wasn’t planning on going.”

“Okay, great so you will in fact be going. I’ll send you a couple of dress ideas tonight and you can always have a better look this weekend.”

Cap cleared his plate before wishing us both goodnights. We returned it and I asked Natasha what she was talking about.

“Oh, you know, this weekend on your date weekend with Pietro.”

My eyes narrowed at her accusatory tone. “First of all, how did you even know about that, second it is not a ‘date’ weekend.”

She smirked at me. “I saw your little list of spots on the table this morning. No need to be so defensive I think it's sweet what you’re doing for him, he will too.”

“I’m not doing anything for him… I just feel like… he doesn’t have a place, Natasha. We always had New York and maybe it won’t be the same for him, but he deserves something. An option at the very least.”

The smug expression on her face shifted then, smoothing into something that held much more weight. Something soft and immensely meaningful. Her lips were upturned as she spoke again. “I think he already has more than you realize.”

I wasn’t entirely sure what she meant by that, but I chose not to push, we finished our food in comfortable silence after that.

The soft sound of a Queen song filled my ears as I wandered into the lab with a plate of reheated pizza grasped between my hands. Tony was hunched over the bench with a screwdriver in hand. “You know for someone who said he was going to take some time off you certainly spend a lot of time tinkering around here,” I spoke up, sitting the pizza beside him. He glanced up, raising an eyebrow at me.

“This is me relaxing, kid.”

“How does Pepper feel about that?” He grumbled out an answer, not glancing up at me as he continued to do… whatever it was he was doing. I glanced at the door, considering leaving despite his glum mood, what could I say to him? Would he even want to open up if I asked him to, did I want him to? I’d always maintained a distance between us, never comfortable enough to let too many people get close but as I watched Tony, shoulders tense, ignoring the food, leaving didn’t feel much like an option. So, I sat, facing him on the opposite side of the bench. “Is everything okay?”

“Peachy.”

I swallowed, twiddling my thumbs. “We don’t have to talk but you should probably eat.”

He glanced up at me through his lashes. “What is going on right now? You never want to talk, but now all of a sudden you do.”

“You seem like you could use someone to talk to and I’m trying something new. The easiest way to get me to leave you alone is just to spill, you know I’m not one to give up easily.”

Tony huffed, shaking his head and finally looking up at me. “Pepper wants to talk about things that I don’t. It’s irritating and I just needed some time.” I breathed a laugh at that. “What?”

“It’s just… I know how you feel.”

The corners of his lips upturned so slightly it was almost imperceptible. “Yeah, I guess you probably do.”

“So instead of talking to Pepper about these mysterious things you don’t want to disclose you’re here, hiding out in the lab.”

“Well, when you say it like that it sounds a little pathetic.”

I smiled at him. “More than a little.”

“I don’t think you can exactly talk, Pimenova, you’re not someone I’d describe as being particularly communicative.”

A laugh tumbled from my lips, and I leaned back in my chair; I couldn’t argue there. “Why don’t you want to talk to about whatever it is with her?”

“It’s complicated.”

I glanced around. “Well luckily for you I have nothing but time.”

Tony did nothing to hide his disdain at my words, huffing and puffing like a petulant child. I found it all rather amusing. “I left the comfort of my home to come be around you idiots to avoid talking about it, what makes you think I’m antsy to spill my guts now?”

“Spare me, as if you don’t miss us terribly whenever you leave.” I teased. “And I’m not saying you have to tell me what it is just why it’s you’d rather flee than talk about whatever it is. It’s not as though I’m going to judge you, I wouldn’t exactly have a leg to stand on.”

“You really don’t have a leg to stand on as it is. You don’t answer questions but you’re happy to ask them?”

I closed my eyes for a moment glancing away to survey the room, empty save for the range of strange tech surrounding us. “You wanted to know what Wanda showed me in the shipyard. I didn’t want to talk about it because it was painful, I’m guessing it’s the same for whatever it is that you’re avoiding.” He didn’t look at me. “You’re right though, it isn’t fair for me to expect you to share when I won’t, so consider this my answer. Wanda showed me a medley of some of the worst moments of my life and made me think I was living them all over again. She showed me the Red Room, my first kill then my most painful, and a whole lot of other moments that I’d been trying really hard to forget.”

He met my gaze then. The look he gave me then was not one that was common for him, yet I’d seen it before. That day when we’d first moved to the compound and I’d told him why I didn’t mind light pollution was at the forefront of my mind. Empathy, I supposed.

“Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry; I’m telling you because I do understand that trust is a two-way street.”

He nodded. There was silence between us for a long while then. He’d put the tool in his hand down and he simply studied the piece of pizza that sat beside him, likely cold by now. “There was someone in my life… a long time ago. Someone who meant the world to me. She died, years ago now and the last thing I said to her… Well, it wasn’t exactly kind.” I remained quiet, listening intently to him. “There are not many days when it's not the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing before I go to sleep.” He took a rather large bite from the slice of pizza. I guessed he was referring to his mother, I remembered hearing something about his parents dying years ago after they’d had a fight. Irrespective of what his reasoning was, I knew what it was like to have something you’d done, something you regretted, haunt you. “You know, if you’d been gone much longer, I wouldn’t have made it through here. Pietro nearly sent me insane.”

He was evidently shifting the topic, but I let him. “What do you mean?”

“Kid was practically going out of his mind with worry from the second you left and then you went off comms and obviously we were all concerned but he pretty much had to be restrained from going to Morrocco after you, barely healed leg and all. Honestly, he was insufferable.” I looked at the ground, smiling a little at that information. “It was actually a little sweet also, I guess. Sickening, but almost cute.”

Before I left Tony to finish his tinkering, I glanced back at him from the doorway. “Take it from me, Stark, avoiding talking about something because it’s painful doesn’t actually make it hurt any less.”

…

The rain that had followed us for most of the trip from the compound cleared up as we entered the city.  Pietro hadn’t said a lot since I’d told him, he’d just stared at me in a way that made me exceptionally nervous. Even on the car ride, he’d spoken a few soft words here and there but otherwise he’d been mostly quiet. The second we stowed our luggage away in our adjoined rooms I’d smiled warmly at him and waved the list at him. “Well come on, we’d better get moving I’ve got a lot planned.” The smile he gave me made a tingling feeling dance across my spine.

Our first stop was the bakery near my old apartment, they had the best bagels in the city, the perfect cream cheese to bread ratio. We walked through the crowded streets and basked in the sunshine while we ate the warm delicacy. “I’ll admit it’s a lot better than I’d expected.”

“I told you.” He bumped his shoulder with mine as we walked. I led him toward the huge building having him stand across the street with his back to it. “Okay, now turn around and prepare to be just a little underwhelmed.” His eyes widened as he turned to face the MET in all its glory.

“Jesus, that’s big.”

I walked past him, beginning up the steps. “I know right and look how fucking dirty it is as if those rich girls were sitting on these steps to eat their lunch.” When I realized he wasn’t following, I turned back to see him watching me. “Don’t you want to go in?”

“No, I do, it’s just…” His lips turned upward, and his brows furrowed a little, it was as if his face was melting. The sun made his eyes glitter, making them even more mesmerizing than usual. He shook his head softly before meeting me on the stairs I’d stopped on, looking down at me for a moment. His chest almost grazed mine he was so close. “After you, dragă.” Darling.

“What does that mean?”

He leaned in close to me, his breath fanning over my lips, it had my eyes fluttering. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” With that he was off toward the entrance, leaving me dazed and utterly fed up with his stupid wager. We looked at art for a lot of the day, before taking back to the streets where we got a New York slice and spoke for hours.

“It’s strange because growing up, I didn’t really know who I was, or I guess there really wasn’t a me that existed outside of the Red Room. Being out meant having to become a person just like everyone else. I didn’t even know my favorite color before I got out, I was just a nonentity.”

“What’s your favorite color now?”

I shrugged, looking over at him. We’d stopped in Central Park a little while ago, laying back on the grass to watch as the sun set over the city and casted the streets in a pinkish orange hue. I smiled at how it looked at this time of day, everything the light had touched, transformed by the dwindling sun. “I think it’s this.” When I met his eyes again, they were set firmly on me.

“What is your favorite color, Pietro?”

A cheeky smile crossed his lips. “Blue.”

“Favorite food?”

“Plum dumplings.”

I had to bite my lip to stop the smile from taking over my expression. Rolling my eyes and hoping he couldn’t see the flush that has coated my cheeks. We continued like this, asking silly mostly inconsequential questions to each other, and there, on that patch of grass, there was a rare moment where I was completely at ease. I could feel his eyes on me then as I watched the birds hopping from branch to branch. A tilt of my head revealed him fully to me once more, still gazing at me intently, not even attempting to pretend that he wasn’t, unashamed at being caught. His lips were upturned, not a full smile, merely the suggestion of one. My smile brightened slightly as I stared back at him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He didn’t answer right away, just kept watching me, eyes tracing over the flesh of my cheeks and nose. “No one has ever done something like this for me before.”

I smiled softly at him. “What no one’s ever taken you to a smog-covered, rat-run city to eat a bready doughnut thing with cheese in it?”

He chuckled light-heartedly before becoming earnest once more. “Seriously, Nadia, this means a lot to me.” He kept his voice a little hushed, loud enough only for me to hear as if the words shared in the small space between us were sacred, something that was reserved solely for us.

“Natasha and I used to talk about New York when we were younger, I suppose it was our dream. This intangible place where everything would be okay.” His knuckles grazed my own. I felt a little silly when my heart picked up, I’ve literally killed people how could the slightest touch from him have my pulse fluttering? Holding my breath for a moment I extended my fingers slightly, bumping his. He had touched my hand before, but this felt different. We both turned back toward the sky as I let my hand upturn beside his. A warm weight filled my palm then and I exhaled the breath I’d been holding.

Nonna Maria’s was next on the list, the obvious dinner choice, really the only acceptable choice. There was a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach as we passed the threshold of the restaurant. I got take-out here my first night in New York, Natasha and I had spent many days gorging ourselves on the freshly baked bread and delicious pastas and somewhere in all of that I’d found myself becoming strangely attached to this little family-run business. An intangible nervousness took over my as we were seated, perhaps it was just that this place was the first thing that had felt like mine since I left Russia, and now I was sharing it with Pietro. “Nadia, my sweet Nadia!” Maria called as she approached our table. “Please, tell me you’ve come back to the city, my dearest.”

“Just visiting, unfortunately, but I brought you a new person to overfeed.” I teased. Maria tsked and waved her hand at me before turning to Pietro.

She gasped and placed a hand to her heart. “Such a handsome young man, you know I have been praying for this. Praying for my Nadia to find love!”

“Okay, settle down, this is my friend Pietro.” I introduced, intervening before she got any more carried away.

“Oh of course he is.” She gave me a knowing look. “You children with your strange language, I will never understand it. Let me get you some more bread, it fixes everything you know.”

I laughed as she left, sipping on my glass of wine. “Is that what we are, Nadia?” I raised an eyebrow at Pietro’s words. “Friends?” He added, a little smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “It’s just I’m getting the strangest sense of déjà vu.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

He sent me a boyish smile. “Well, friends don’t generally kiss.”

“When was the last time we kissed?” My tone was taunting, challenging him with every syllable. His eyes narrowed slightly, smirk only growing.

“If you want me to kiss you, Nadia, you need only say the magic words.”

The look I gave him was downright devious. “Why’s that? You’re not struggling, are you? Because I’m more than happy to call it a fair game, after you admit I was right of course.”

He unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, downing his drink, and leaning forward over the table toward me. His knee brushed against mine. “Oh, I’m doing just fine, Prinţesă.” My eyes darted down for just a moment. “All you have to do is tell me exactly how right I am, and I’ll kiss you anywhere you want.”

A flush travelled up my neck, a shiver not far behind. I was a connoisseur of self-control, adept at keeping myself in check, at not giving in. That was how I was trained, plus my healthy dose of innate stubbornness tended to help. Yet now, in the face of Pietro, I felt myself folding, control crumbling, leash waning. He was in control now and he knew it. That wouldn’t fly with me. I left a sultry smile cross my face as I leaned forward in my seat, flipping my hair over my shoulder and using my arms to accentuate my decolletage. My foot slid across the space between us, situating itself between his feet. I dragged the tip of it up the inside of his leg, watching his hands clench into fists as the muscle in his jaw feathered. When his eyes met mine, they were a much darker shade of blue, a dangerous glint in them. He attempted to grab my foot when it ventured to his thigh, but I yanked it back before he had the chance, standing and slipping my coat back on. My hand fell over his shoulder, and I leaned down so we were at eye level, moving closer until I was sure he would feel my breath on his ear. “Don’t hurt yourself for the sake of making a point, Pietro.”

“I know that you think you’re very clever-” I heard Pietro’s voice call as we stepped outside, frustration palpable in his tone. “But your little seduction routine isn’t going to work on me.”

“Oh? Are you sure?” I took a step toward him. “Because I have the strangest feeling it’s already working?” My eyes trailed down to his hand that was situated over my hip. He yanked it away as if I’d burned him, pointing at me accusingly.

His glare had plenty of heat but no real anger behind it. “I’m not going to give up so easily, you know this right?”

“I spent most of my life training to break people down, you know this right?” I began walking down the street, basking in the nippy autumn air.

“I don’t want to be just your friend. That’s what I told you before you went to Morrocco; I meant it.”

His words stopped me in my tracks and when I turned back to look at him the streetlights and starlight bathed him in this magical way that managed to wipe all the thoughts from my mind. “I know,” I murmured.

“So… maybe we should talk about it.”

“You want to talk about it now?”

He shrugged. “There’s no time like the present.”

I bit my lip, laughing a little to myself. “Do you want to be my boyfriend, Pietro?” I teased.

His response had me stiffening in my spot, heart skipping, eyes fluttering. “Yes, very much so.” There was no amusement or taunting lilts in his words, it was deadpan; absolute. I opened and closed my mouth like a fish out of water. “Do you want to be my girlfriend, Nadia?”

I’d never had a boyfriend before. There had been boys, they never lasted more than a night where I told myself maybe I’d feel better if I just forced myself to be normal. There had never been mornings that followed. My heart was racing, and I felt a little lightheaded. Pietro stayed put, quiet but steadfast. He didn’t rush me or flee, he laid himself bare before me and waited, patiently, for me to respond. Part of me wanted to roll my eyes, boyfriend, girlfriend, how tedious. Though, really, I knew that was just because if I was dismissive maybe it wouldn’t feel so exposed. “I’m not sure I’d be a very good girlfriend.”

His eyes softened at me. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

He took a few steps forward, leaving a big enough gap that he wasn’t crowding me, but I could still feel his body heat radiating onto me. “Well, saying yes is a good place to start.”

 “Ask me again.”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

I smiled at him. “That depends.”

His lips curved up into that familiar smirk. “What does it depend on?”

“Will you kiss me if I’m your girlfriend?”

“How about this, you answer my question first then I’ll answer yours.”

I considered him. I could keep prodding, be stubborn, and have it my way, but then Pietro was standing before me, and the stars were in his eyes as he left the ball roll delicately into my court. He’d challenged me from the start and yet he’d always given me time, slowed down when I told him to, clearly laid my options before me, and let me choose for myself. It terrified me how much I didn’t want to run away from him, from his softness, from his adoring patience. So, despite myself, I didn’t roll my eyes or feign indifference, I gave, ever so slightly.

I took a step toward him. “The answer is yes.”

The words had barely left my lips before he was kissing me breathless. His forehead rested against mine; his eyes still closed. After almost a week of his ridiculous wager, I’d been ready to crack myself, but I didn’t need to tell him that because somehow, he’d known me from the moment we laid eyes on each other.

“You win, Nadia.”

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 18. Reflecting light

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Thank you so much for reading <3

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: canon-typical violence, injuries, Pietro and Nadia being Pietro and Nadia, protective Nadia, protective Pietro

“No, I didn’t.” His words were an exhale, the smile never faltering.

I breathed a laugh. “I have to keep things interesting.”

“You’ve never struggled to interest me.” His lips were back on mine within seconds before I even had time to process his words. Pietro tugged me closer to him by the hips, my hand slipping into his thick silver hair. My skin tingled as his chest pressed to mine, I needed to breathe yet the thought of pulling away was entirely unreasonable to me then. The buzzing of my phone in my pocket had him pulling back, a small smirk on his face. “Are you going to get that?” I rolled my eyes yanking the device out to see a text from Nat.

‘If the two of you are done eating each other’s faces the director of MI6 is here.’

I sighed exasperatedly. “Bureaucracy calls.”

Pietro’s smirk only grew. I turned to walk toward the conference room with the man hot on my heels. His choice to remain a few paces behind me rather than beside me had me narrowing my eyes. “Sorry, the view was just too good to pass up.” I followed his eyeline before stopping abruptly in my tracks when I realized what he was staring at.

“You are pushing it, Maximoff.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “Oh, I think you like it when I push you.”

“You have the rest of your life to be an annoying prick, why not take today off?”

“Well, you could always punish me by kissing me some more, I think that might help.”

I turned sharply, entering the conference room to see Steve and Nat seated at the table across from the director of MI6. The graying man stood, turning to face Pietro and me.

“Agent Pimenova, good to see you again.” He held his hand out to Pietro. “I’m Director Abbott, you must be Pietro Maximoff. MI6 thanks you both for your assistance in the arrest of miss Janssen. There is just the matter of the leaked information, we are currently performing a formal investigation into this.”

“Are you?”

He raised an eyebrow at me. I’d worked with MI6 before, I’ve never liked them, I only ever agreed because of Anna. One thing I can say for certain about them is that they always have an agenda, one they’re not often forthcoming about. “Of course, is there an implication there?”

Cap spoke up then. “Not at all, it’s just that given that Tara Janssen accused MI6 of leaking the information the matter is complicated.”

“Well since a criminal said it, I suppose we just take her word?” Abbott retorted.

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow at him. “You plan to conduct an internal investigation into your organization when no one knows who exactly the mole is?”

“This is standard procedure. MI6 is highly confidential about our intel, bringing outside entities in is risky enough in the field, we don’t intend to contract outside the organization for such delicate matters.”

“Oh yes, because all delicate matters have been handled so well by MI6 up until now?”

“I don’t appreciate your attitude, Agent Pimenova, and we are not entirely convinced that it is one of our agents who is at fault.”

A humorless laugh fell from my lips before I could stop it. “So, who do you think is at fault?” Natasha questioned, giving me a look that urged me not to bite back.

“Well, it’s not a black and white matter, however, we intend to investigate all individuals who took part in this operation.” He glanced at Pietro briefly as he spoke.

“Are you joking?”

His gaze was firm as he turned it on me once more. “Does this really surprise you? Mr. Maximoff is a new hire who was intensely involved from the beginning, he had access to all intel and knew the ins and outs of the operation. Not only this, correct me if I’m wrong, but it was not so long ago that he and his sister were antagonists to the Avengers.”

I felt that familiar white hot rage simmering through my veins and I clenched my hands into fists at my sides to anchor myself attempting to subdue the anger. “Pietro is an Avenger and he had nothing to do with this so you can cross him off of your suspect list. Someone on your team nearly got us killed, if I were you, I’d spend less time throwing around bullshit accusations and more investigating the people you work with. It’s not exactly auspicious for an intelligence agency to have a link so weak its handing your confidential intel to criminal organizations on a silver platter.” My tone was glacial at best, Abbott opened his mouth to continue. “I can’t imagine what else you have to say on the matter, Director.”

Cap put his hands up. “Alright, I don’t think there’s anything further, Director Abbott.” The man glanced at Steve with a pleased expression that promptly dissipated after the former spoke again. “Obviously we would require the investigation to be a combined effort between our resources and the MI6 institution to ensure an unbiased approach. Agent Maria Hill has said she’d be more than happy to assist in the matter.”

I crossed my arms, raising an eyebrow at the short man who was barely managing to contain his glower. “Very well then, we will be in touch in the coming weeks.”

Steve turned to me before he left the room. “I’m glad you’re okay, kid but you have got to stop almost dying.”

I smiled sheepishly, saluting him as he exited the conference room, flanked by Natasha who offered me a knowing look with a devious smirk attached. I glanced back at Pietro who leaned against the round table, a boyish smile painted across his expression. “What now?” I spoke, feigning annoyance, his smile only grew.

“I like it when you defend me.”

The tension between us was palpable, the air in the room thick with it. I narrowed my eyes at Pietro. “I wasn’t really defending you; I just like pissing Abbott off.”

“Whatever you say, Prinţesă.” His sweet smile had evolved into that smirk I knew all too well.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “It’s funny, I seem to remember telling you not to call me that.” A smile tugged at my lips, but I fought hard to keep it down.

“Hm, I don’t remember that. Perhaps, it was back when you were pretending not to like it.”

I turned from him, walking toward the door before glancing back at him over my shoulder, a taunting lilt in my tone. “Who says I was pretending?” I didn’t manage to make it out the door before Pietro grabbed my wrist and spun me back to face him.  

“You have a lying problem.” He murmured; voice deeper than it was a moment ago. Before I could respond his lips were on mine. This kiss was different to the others, passionate in the same way but more fervent, hungrier. My back hit the now closed door firmly, arms winding around Pietro’s neck to bring him closer. The discomfort of being touched was the furthest thing from my mind as he kissed me. There was no room for thoughts that didn’t revolve around the way his lips felt. A warm feeling pooled low in my stomach, it was sweet like honey and caused a flush to travel up my neck, coating my ears pink and making my flesh burn. I tugged Pietro’s hair with one hand, the other gripping his shoulder and pulling him closer. His hands travelled from my cheeks, down my arms, landing on my hips and pushing me further against the door. One of his hands drifted to my thigh, tugging it to sit around his hip; a niggling anxious feeling wormed its way through me at the contact, my heart beginning to beat faster. I gripped his shoulder tighter, not realizing the way my body had tensed until Pietro pulled away to look at me. “Nadia?” I shook my head, taking a deep breath and attempting to move past the discomfort when Pietro’s hand slipped higher on my hip, his thumb putting pressure unwittingly on the recently sutured flesh. I gasped in pain and Pietro’s touch was gone in an instant, he pulled away as if he’d been burned. “I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think…”

“It’s okay.” I reassured breathily, swallowing the pain, my hand going to cover the now throbbing stab wound. His face paled, eyes falling to my hip. I followed his line of sight, a small crimson patch beginning to soak into my shirt. “Let’s just go to the medical wing and patch it up, it’ll be fine.” He didn’t speak a word to me as we walked, remaining a few paces away from me the entire time. I slipped onto the examination table and began lifting my shirt over my head, wincing slightly at the pain in my abdomen as I lifted my arms, in a millisecond Pietro was before me, helping me to pull the fabric from my body, careful not to touch me. I was left in just my bra before him, the stitches were fine, just irritated. I cleaned them quickly before grabbing the bandage and roll of gauze and beginning to cover them. “See, all better.” There was silence in the room, but I could feel Pietro’s eyes burning into me prompting me to glance up. He was gazing at my abdomen, at the bruises that were still prominent, the wound I’d just covered and the two scars that lived on opposite sides of the flesh. He took a step toward me then. “It’s okay, Pietro.”

“No, it’s not, I made you bleed, Nadia.”

“Well, you’re not exactly the first person.” I teased. His face remained sullen, no hint of amusement. “Okay enough with the face, it was an accident, you can put the hair shirt away.”

He shook his head, jaw clenching. “It’s not just that, you were uncomfortable when I was touching you, I went too far.”

“You didn’t go too far… I- it was just fast, I can’t go that fast, not with that stuff.” I was murmuring by the end of my sentence. He just kept staring at the bruised flesh. “I’m really okay, the bruises don’t hurt that much anymore, and Tara has terrible aim so she didn’t get anything important.”

He remained silent for a long while. I didn’t know what to say, didn’t even really know what was going through his mind, but then he opened his mouth, and his words weren’t at all what I’d been expecting. “That is from Ultron.” He pointed at one of the two scars before his finger moved to the other. “What is that one from?” I looked down at the marred flesh, closing my eyes for a moment. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

I let out a heavy exhale, looking back up at him. “It was a long time ago.”

Whether it was February or sometime in June I was no longer sure.

The air was glacial around me, and I was sure I was dying.

There was blood pooling in the fabric of my suit, sweat plastering hair to my forehead even with the harsh winter air that bit at me. Annika was beside me; she was holding my hand as the snow at my side turned red.

“Отдыхай сейчас, сестра.”

Rest now, sister.

Saint Petersburg, 4 hours earlier

I gripped the sides of the porcelain sink, watching the water run down the drain. There was gold trim on everything in this fucking hotel and I felt like I was losing my mind. Exhaustion had made a home in the cave of my bones; my body had come to feel like a prison. There was a thin papery feeling that clung to me, seeping into my skin, disembowelling me to make room for the full breadth of it. Nausea washed over me, and a blink had me seeing nothing but red. I’d barely slept, the strange visions were becoming more consistent and Dreykov had been pushing all of us extra hard lately. I supposed it was the result of Natasha and Oksana’s dissemination from the Red Room.

“Sweet Anya, is everything alright in there?” Ambassador Schulz called from the other side of the door. I splashed some water on my face, looking up at myself in the mirror.

“Of course, I’ll be right out, любимый.” (Darling)

I adjusted the short black wig on my head, tousling the fringe before smoothing my hands over the top of my strapless dress. When I opened the door, the Ambassador was stood at the bar cart, pouring two glasses of whiskey from an expensive looking decanter. He crossed the room and handed one of the crystal glasses to me. He was a balding middle-aged man who was almost foot shorted than me when I wore heels. He reeked of pungent cologne and cigars, and I hated him. The ambassador was a disgusting man who’d spent most of the evening attempting to slip his hand beneath the slit of my dress. I clinked my glass with his before letting the amber liquid him my upper lip but never pass it.

“You know, Anya, I’ve been to a lot of countries, but Russian women have always remained my favorite . Although, you may be the most gorgeous of them all.”

I smiled at him, placing the whiskey on the accent table behind me and popping my legs one by one to slip my heels off. “You flatter me.” His hand grazed over my collarbone, caressing me in a way that had my skin crawling. “Perhaps you should check the door is locked, we wouldn’t want anyone to interrupt us.” He double checked the golden handle of the door, ensuring that the lock was indeed in place as I closed the curtains. After he checked the door he walked over the record player in the corner, letting the needle dance across the vinyl, classical music filling the suite. I returned to the middle of the room and Schulz’s hands were on me once again. He pressed his lips to mine roughly, biting and licking at my mouth like a rabid dog. I suppressed my cringe and kissed him back, shutting my mind off from the reality of what was happening.

“Turn around, whore.” He demanded. I wasn’t frightened by his tone; men like him didn’t hold that power over me anymore. His knuckles grazed my bare back as he moved to unzip my dress. I slipped the push dagger from my garter before the fabric fell to my ankles. The blade cut into my hand as I concealed it as he grabbed my shoulders roughly and pushed me down onto the bed. I moved quickly, swinging my legs to kneel on the mattress, slipping the knife into the back of my black underwear before beckoning Schulz to join me I pulled the jacket part way down his shoulders. He sat with his back to me. I left his blazer halfway down his arms, moving to loosen his tie next. I swallowed bile as he palmed at his crotch, grabbing a hold of my wrist and roughly pulling my hand between his legs. In a swift manoeuvre I pulled my hand from his grasp and wrapped my legs around him, one hand covering his mouth and the other grabbing the push dagger and dragging it across his throat.

“ Сладких снов, чувак .”

Sweet dreams, prick.

He thrashed against me, but I laid back and held tightly onto him, waiting for his to bleed out. I wasn’t sure exactly how long it had taken him to bleed out, it had felt to me like an eternity in but a moment. I shoved his limp body from me, his blood dripping from me as I stood pulling my suit from under the bed which had been planted for me whilst Schulz and I were at the opera together.

The clip of my belt almost covered the sound behind me, but I was far too adept after all of my cycles through the Red Room, there was no sneaking up on me anymore. I threw my arm backward, before I’d even looked, slicing through the air in the direction of the person who’d been behind me, they caught my arm before I could reach them, one of their gloved hands wrapping around the back of my neck and slamming my head against the table, knocking my glass onto the ground, whiskey splashing onto the marble as it shattered. I caught sight of the person in my peripheral, black mask covering all but his eyes and lips. He slammed my head against the table a second time, the turn of my head letting me see the gun holstered at his hip. I jammed the push dagger into the side of his thigh, pulling it out and stabbing him multiple times in the area, forcing him to release me as he groaned in pain. I ducked under the punch he threw, slipping beneath his arm and attacking him from behind and tackling him onto the ground and ripping the mask from him before grabbing onto his blonde hair and slamming his head against the marble tiles, red smearing across the floor when I lifted his head up again. He threw me off of him and grabbed a hold of my throat, straddling my waist as he choked me.

There was blood coating his lips and his nose was crooked to a painful angle. I pressed my thumbs into his eyes but he moved his head back out of my reach, grip tightening. He didn’t budge no matter how much I hit and kicked him. Eventually, I managed to get the gun from his belt holster, slamming the base into his head. His grip loosened but it took another hit to get him off guard enough to buck him off of me. I swung my legs around quickly, bringing myself into a crouched defensive position, it was then that I clocked the octopus skull tattoo on his neck. I didn’t know what it meant but I’d seen it before, these agents had tried to steal marks from us before, they would kill widows and take the credit for our hits. I swiped his feet out from under him, restraining him and punching again and again, he managed to get a hold of my wig, but it slipped from my head, light strands falling in front of my eyes. I punched him again stopping only when I felt the sharp pain in my side, glancing down to see the agent jamming a large shard from the whiskey glass into my abdomen. Blood poured onto his hand, he grabbed my actual hair this time, rolling over and pressing the side of my head into the marble floor. I steeled myself against the burning pain in my side reaching out for his gun that I’d dropped before, shooting him in the leg without a second thought. He cried out, gripping the wound on this thigh. I kicked him in the chest, attempting to crawl away but he was quick to grab my ankle and drag me back to him. Whoever the hell this guy was he was extremely well trained and evidently wanted me dead. He swiped my push dagger from the floor, swinging at my chest with it but I blocked his attack and used my free arm to twist his wrist before slamming my blocking arm against his once more. The dagger was still clutched in his fist as it impaled the under side of hit jaw, blood pouring from his mouth as I forced his to twist the blade, crying out in agony and exhaustion as I pushed harder, letting his lifeless body fall beside me. My cheeks were wet as I stumbled to the window, double tapping my comm to turn it on as I sat on the sill.

“Задание выполнено.”

Mission complete.

A long black rope descended from the roof then, a silver hook gleaming at the bottom of it. I clipped it onto my belt, sliding from the window and scaling down the building into the snow-covered street.

“Clean up required in room 103.” I muttered into the comm, pulling twice on the rope to signal I was off. The world was blurring around me as I stumbled into the open space behind the hotel. Blood covered my hand as I went, falling to my knees on the rough gravel path that was quickly being swallowed by snow.

I slipped the shirt back over my head with Pietro’s help. “He was Hydra, that agent, I didn’t really know what that meant back then though.”

“No wonder you don’t like being touched.” He had been completely silent for the entirety of my story, there were times when I wasn’t even sure he was breathing. I sighed, nodding gently as I watched the shadows that danced in his eyes.

I reached out for his hand, glancing up at him as my fingers wrapped around his wrist, using the grip to pull him closer. “This is different.” My hand smoothed over his knuckles and I laced my fingers through his, bringing his hand to my cheek. “I want you to touch me, Pietro.”

He exhaled deeply, letting his eyes close as his head canted forward. “Don’t say things like that, Nadia.”

“Why not?”

“Because you don’t understand the effect it has on me.”

I leaned closer to him. “So, make me understand.” His fingertips dug ever so slightly into my shoulder, brows furrowing, eyes still closed. His free hand landed on my other shoulder, gliding down to hold mine, bringing it to sit over his heart. The quick thuds matched my own beat for beat. I felt his breath ghost over my cheek as he leaned his forehead against mine.

The look he gave me was tender, gentle. “We can go slow. Whatever you want.”

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 17. Let the light in

Previous chapter

Masterlist

I hope you enjoy <3

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: canon-typical violence, torture, injuries, Pietro and Nadia being Pietro and Nadia, arguing, confessions...

Bright white lights blinded me with every blink, causing me to shut my eyes tightly. A pounding ache set into the side of my head as I became conscious. My hand shot to my head a low groan coming from my very dry throat as I pressed against the spot the pain was coming from. A soft hand closed around my forearm, causing me to open my eyes fully. Anna stood at my bedside and Natasha sat on the end of the bed, both gazing at me with tender looks. I rubbed at my head, glancing around the room. It looked like we were in the med bay back at the compound. “What happened.” I managed to get out.

“Someone warned Tara you were coming.”

I hummed, coughing shortly after. Anna moved a cup of water with a straw toward my lips. I gulped down as much of the liquid as I could. “Yeah, she knew who I was, I don’t know about what else though. We were trying to get our intel from the hotel but then there was a car and…” I moved up right quickly.

“Pietro! Where is he? Is he alright?” I tried to pull at the chords attached to me, but Nat stopped me.

“He’s fine, Nads, worried about you but fine. He said something about a fruit doughnut or something.”

“Plum dumplings.” I muttered, settling back into the pillows behind me.

Anna and Natasha shared a look before turning back to me. “Right, well, you did a good job, we’ve got what we need.”

“The intel, it was in the hotel room, someone needs to go get it.”

“We already did, don’t worry, luckily only we knew where you two were staying, Maria Hill went and cleared the hotel as soon as we got the call that you were injured. We recovered everything.”

I sighed in relief at Natasha’s words. “One of the guys who tried to attack us in Amsterdam, he was Hydra.” Both the women beside me sighed.

Anna rubbed a hand over her face. “I should’ve known they’d be involved. They’re probably one of the potential buyers.” She sat beside me once more, reaching into her bag and pulling out a little brown plastic pot, chocolate pudding. My spirits lifted instantly. I grabbed the container from her and tore the lid off, digging in ravenously. “Hmm, I suspected even a nasty concussion wouldn’t stop you from devouring that.”

“You really are a saint!” I spoke around a mouth full of the chocolate delicacy.

Nat snorted, watching me intently. “Those things are so gross, but I love you and I’m really glad that you’re okay, so I won’t judge.”

“These are the nectar of the gods, and they just give them out for free in hospitals. Insanity.” Both Anna and Natasha laughed at me, but I ignored their teasing, cleaning the pot completely. When it was finished, I set it aside, sighing contentedly. “So, what do we do now?”

“You do nothing. We’ll handle this, all you need to focus on is resting.” Anna said.

I shook my head, sitting upright. “What? No, I’m fine!” Before either of them could argue I continued. “I know I always say that, but I really am this time, it was just a concussion. It hurts a little still, but I’ll be good to go by tomorrow. You can’t change my mine I’m seeing this mission through.”

“You’re actually admitting to being in pain?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, whatever. I’m really okay, let me finish this.”

They very reluctantly agreed, only after checking approximately a hundred times with the doctor to make sure I was actually okay. I agreed to spend the day resting and recuperating and that sealed the deal for me. Tara was heading to Morrocco to finalize her sale and hand over what Tony had referred to as the backdoor to the internet. Nat and I would fly out late tonight to stop the sale and hand ser over to the authorities. Each of the Avengers had been to see me after I was released from the medical wing, Cap and Sam had caught me on my way back to my room, Vision had walked through my wall to say he was happy that I was recovering, chilling really. Tony had brought me some food earlier as well, giving me some story about how he’d accidentally made too much when he was preparing his lunch, as if he normally cooks for himself anyway. I’d let him get away with his lies, scoffing the food down the second he left. After I’d eaten and had painkillers all but forced down my throat by Anna, I made my way to Pietro’s room. Wanda was leaving just as I arrived at the door.

“Oh sorry… I just…” I shook my head at my ridiculous stuttering. A kind smile spread across her lips.

“You look okay.” She shut her eyes tightly, her smile turning sheepish. “What I mean to say is that you look like you’re feeling better, I’m glad.”

I nodded at her. “I figured.” It wasn’t mean, wasn’t cold or angry like I had always been with her before this moment. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about her, but she hadn’t been exactly wicked and terrible in the months she’d been here. In fact, after our little tiff, she’d stayed away from me like I asked. She’d respected me, and I appreciated that, so in return I could be nice. Even if it felt strange.

“He really is a stubborn ass sometimes, I’m sure you know that by now.” She spoke up, gesturing toward the door behind her. “He’s so worries, hasn’t stopped asking about you… but he’s too pigheaded to be up front about it.”

“Is he okay?”

Her smile brightened. “He’s fine, a little banged up but still just as annoying.”

A laugh filled the air between us and with some shock I realized it was me. Despite myself, and despite our tenuous relationship I’d laughed at what she said. I swallowed the laughter quickly, glancing at her and offering a tight-lipped smile. “Do you mind if I…” I gestured toward the door. She moved instantly out of the way nodding fervently. “Just to check he’s still alive and update him on the mission, that’s all.” Wanda positively beamed at me.

“Of course.” With that she turned and wandered off down the hallway.

The door felt daunting as I stared it down, I wasn’t sure what to say, things were pretty complicated between us right now. Nonetheless I knocked, resting my head against the surface as I awaited a reply. “Come in.” He called soon after.

He sat more upright the second I entered, pushing himself to sit straighter before me. His leg was in a bandage and surrounded by some sort of non-enclosed cast, I was assuming it was just for the three days or so it would take his enhancement to heal him. “Hi.” I murmured, stopping by the end of his bed.

“Hi.”

“How are you doing?” I asked.

He scanned my body. “Fine. You?”

“Fine.” He nodded at my words, falling silent once more. I fiddled with my fingers, glancing around the room for something to look at that wasn’t him. It was then that I realized I’d never actually been in here before, it wasn’t what I expected. Dark grey and blue furniture as well as a few bits and pieces lying around, a soccer ball in the corner, some books strewn across his nightstand and a line of sneakers peeking out from the open door to his closet. “Agent Hill recovered our intel from the hotel, whoever sold us out didn’t have all the details apparently, so at least there’s that.”

He nodded. “Good. That’s good.”

“It is.”

He looked down at his lap. “So, what now? It’s over?”

“Well, she’s still planning to sell her files so I’m going after her to stop that from happening.”

“Okay so what we wait a few days for me to heal then we’ll go finish this?”

 I shook my head at him, confusion no doubt evident on my face. “No, you should just rest, let your body recover, Nat will come with me to Morrocco to stop Janssen.” The room turned glacial in an instant, or perhaps it was just the icy glare Pietro set me with.

“It’s just a few days, probably less, I heal fast.”

“Pietro you said it yourself, you don’t heal that fast. In a few days Hydra could have those files, I won’t let that happen.” I tucked a strand of hair behind my head, the headache beginning to set in again. “It’s not a big deal, you’re hurt right now, Nat and I can finish this off while you heal up.”

 “Why does it not surprise me that you’d cut me out of the mission the first chance you get?”

His words were like a punch to the gut. I took a step back almost as if I’d been physically wounded by them. “That’s not what I’m doing… I’m not cutting you out of the mission, you have a broken leg, there’s nothing you can do like this.” He scoffed at me, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows at him. My eyes were stinging, and I couldn’t stand it. “That’s really what you think of me? That I’m a heartless monster who doesn’t give a shit about you? That I’m more worried about cutting you out of a mission than stopping a national security threat? You think that I don’t care that you got seriously hurt? Fine. Think whatever you want, Pietro. I have to go.”  His face changed instantly at my words.

His voice stopped me as I turned to leave. “No wait, Nadia. I’m sorry, please wait!” I closed my eyes for a moment before turning back to face him with a raised eyebrow. All of the emotions that had been missing from his in that past week were written plain as day across his face. His eyebrows sagged slightly, guilt and hurt present on his features in equal measure. “I just don’t know what is going on – we kiss, and you don’t want to talk about it or acknowledge that anything happened but then you look at me the way you do and you bring me Sokovian desserts to make me feel better and listen to me even when you act like you don’t care and I just don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?”

“I don’t get what is happening here… between us.”

Running a hand through my hair didn’t soothe me as much as I’d hoped it would. “I agreed to be your friend, Pietro, what more do you want?!”

“I never asked for that!”

A scoff fell from my lips as I crossed my arms over my chest. “Oh, you didn’t ask me to be your friend. Didn’t beg me to be nice to you?”

“No-” He ran a hand through his hair, letting out an exasperated sigh. “That’s not what I meant, I wanted to be your friend but that isn’t all I wanted to be.”

“What are you talking about?”

He shook his head, looking at me the same way he had in the hotel hallway the other night. “I think you know, Nadia.” My heart was pounding against my sternum, so fast I was sure that I was going into cardiac arrest. “It wasn’t a heat of the moment decision for me; it wasn’t whatever you are telling yourself it was. I kissed you because I wanted to.” He swallowed heavily. The look in his eyes made my cheeks burn. “I want to… all of the time.” He continued while I remained silent. “I was cruel to you in Amsterdam and I’m so sorry, I just… it’s really hard to be around you when all I can think about is how badly I want you to tell me you feel the way I do.”

I shook my head at him, looking down at my feet. My eyes were stinging again, and I didn’t know why. I opened my mouth to respond but before I could a familiar voice called out to me.

“Nads, we need to prep before we leave, you ready?” Natasha appeared in Pietro’s doorway, completely oblivious to what he’d just revealed to me.

…

Sweat beaded on my forehead the second I stepped off the plane in Marrakech. The heat here was dry and a shock to my system, yet it was the furthest thing from my mind right now. It had all gone rather quickly, the period between Pietro telling me… what he’d told me and getting on the plane. I hadn’t even had time to formulate a proper response beyond a brief goodbye.

The sale of the Tara’s hard drive was taking place tonight at 6pm in a room at one of the most exclusive hotels in Morocco. We began getting ready as soon as we got to the hotel, hiding weapons on ourselves and testing the equipment. This was supposed to be a simple task, though after the last two missions I wasn’t holding my breath. Anything could happen, I had to be ready for that and I was… Mostly, though, I knew there was a part of me that was distracted, a part of me that was still in New York, standing in Pietro’s room with him.

I want to.

All of the time.

I’d tried to shake it off but the sensation that lived in my stomach seemed unwilling to dissipate. Frustratingly, this feeling didn’t seem content to be yet another item on my growing list of things I could simply ignore. It clawed at me, sung to me, pleaded with me, demanded to be felt by me.

It was that distraction that had allowed them to get the jump on me. The first face I saw was a familiar one, the man from Amsterdam with the Hydra tattoo. I blocked his first hit and the second but the third landed. My body doubled over unwittingly, the moment the impact rippled through my body I knew that there would be a nasty purple bruise where he’d hit. A glance at the brass band over his knuckles explained the extent of the pain. I persevered, throwing expert punches and maneuvering around his hits until I began to feel a little woozy and my vision became blurry. The strange thing about getting injected with things in the heat of a fight is that the adrenaline tends to cover the initial sting of the needle. My hand slapped against the side of my neck entirely too late, each movement so much slower now. Somewhere, someone was shouting my name, but I was out cold before I could process much else.

My body was jostled slightly, prompting me to open my eyes. It was dark and cold here. My vision was still slightly blurred, and the muscles I could feel were like jelly. I thought I might have been in the back of a car, the boot. Consciousness came and went and when I awoke again, I was in a hot, damp room. It took me several moments to realize I was standing, well not really, I was being held up by ropes around my wrists, but the feeling had only just begun to fully set back into my limbs. The rope chaffed my wrists, rubbing them raw.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” A familiar voice spoke, waking me up slightly more. Tara stood before me, momentarily appearing as a double. I closed my eyes tightly for a moment. When I reopened them, things were a little clearer, the room I was in was bare, stone walls, a single chair, Tara, and me.

“You know I actually, didn’t think you were that bad at first. I’m beginning to re-evaluate though.”

The woman before me laughed heartily, taking a step toward me. “Guessing friendship is off the table then huh?”

“What the fuck do you even want?”

“Well, it’s not really about what I want, dear Nadia.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Let me guess, it’s what Hydra wants, customer satisfaction is really that important to you?”

“You still don’t get it do you?”

The two men from the café entered the room. I was beginning to. A humorless laugh left me. “For fucks sake, you’re Hydra.”

A deranged smile spread across her lips. “Bravo, finally we are on the same page! I do hope you aren’t too cross with me about all this pretense, it was all a means to an end you see. I hold up my end of the bargain, deliver you on a silver platter, they protect me while I complete the sale. Plus, if Hydra has you it gets you off my case.”

I wasn’t so sure I understood now, wasn’t sure I really wanted to. What did Hydra want from me?

“Where is Natasha?” I asked, ignoring her previous words. Her smile brightened as she placed two small objects on the chair she had previously been seated in, our comms. I yanked on my binds, glowering at Tara. “This really isn’t the right decision, Janssen. I can assure you Hydra is not the winning team you think it is.”

She merely turned her back, addressing the two men now. “Sie gehört ganz dir.”

She’s all yours.

I yanked on the binds again, setting the tattooed man with a glare as he began to approach me. He had buzzed off hair that appeared to have been blonde and a long scar from his forehead down across his left eye. The brass knuckles were still situated over his fingers as he stared me down, a coldness in his gaze that almost rivalled my own.  The other man leaned against the wall by the door, locking it after Tara exited. It remained like this for a long while, buzzcut just standing there staring, doorman watching from a distance. “Jesus Christ, are we going to stand here all day or are you going to torture me?”

The metal met my ribs once, twice, three times. I coughed from the impact, the end cutting off into a laugh. “Who taught you to punch? A 6-year-old?” He hit me again and again, I laughed in his face. I learned quickly that the more I ridiculed him the worse the beating got, not that I’d expected different. Even with his particularly hard punches that winded me and bruised my ribs it was still not the worst I’d endured. The next time I got lippy the hit was to my face. Minutes passed, or maybe they were hours. Occasionally buzzcut would let up, taking a break for his own benefit I assumed.

Blood dripped from my lips as my head hung between my shoulders. “Most of the hits had been to my stomach and sides, though I was sure I had a bruise across my cheek and likely a split lip.

“Remind me what the point of this is.” I managed to get out. “Are you trying to get information or something? Because usually step one is asking a question.”

Finally, a response came from the doorman, first a laugh, then words. “We don’t want information from you, Nadia. Well, we do, but that’s not what this is about.” He grabbed ahold of my chin and yanked my head up to face him. He had dark hair and features but was so pale he appeared sickly. “We want to recruit you.” A thick German accent underpinned each of his words.

“Oh okay, so this is just a welcome ceremony or something?” I spat my blood at his feet. “Just showing me what I’m definitely not missing?”

He narrowed his eyes. “No, no, this is merely a test, we just wanted to make sure you were as we remembered.”

I raised a single eyebrow. “Oh, that makes perfect sense. So, the test was a few shitty punches from this idiot? Hydra really has gone soft.”

He smiled at me. “Of course not.” My arms were untied, and I was strapped to the chair in the corner. It was around the time the chair was tilted back and a towel was placed over my face that I clued on.

“Oh, for fucks s-” I was cut off by water being poured over me I clenched my fists and attempted to remain calm, steeling my every nerve against the sensation of drowning. It burned and my lungs felt like they were going to burst, it was just as shitty as I remember it being. I tightened my fists as it became more and more unbearable, and the water kept coming.

Finally, there was a reprieve as the towel was removed from my face. I coughed and gasped for air; every fiber of my body strung tightly as I struggled to get the air in. “Reconsidered the offer yet?”

“You made me an offer?”

The towel was replaced, and the water returned. The pattern would continue for well over an hour, a short reprieve upon which the man checked in with me. Eventually he gave it a rest indefinitely, dropping the towel but keeping me strapped to the chair. The water returned soon after though, ice water being dunked over my head. Just like old times. My body was tensed almost painfully, the cold seeping into each of my nerve endings and sending a deep shiver down my spine.

The man grabbed me by the back of the hair, forcing me to look at him. “Join us.”

My body was shivering violently and the slither of light from the window was now gone, prompting me to believe it was nighttime. “No thanks.”

He shook his head at me. “It ends whenever you want it to.”

And just like that I was gone, a blink and I was in a different room, bound to a different chair with something strange on my face.

“It ends whenever you want it to.”

The man in the glassed scribbled on a clipboard, glancing at me occasionally.

“Tell me who you are.”

I felt my lips moving but I couldn’t hear the words that left them. The ballerinas were back, dancing across the screen before me, it was different this time. The music, the outfits. The girl had a feather crown around her head.

When my eyes opened, I was back in the torture room but buzzcut and doorman were long gone. In their place was Tara, sitting across from me. I swallowed heavily, allowing my head to fall back. Every part of my body ached. “Honestly, can’t a girl get a little piece and quiet.”

“Joking until the bitter end, you really are impressive, Nadia.”

I rolled my eyes at her.

“Why are you even here? FOMO?”

She smirked at me. “Well, I just wanted to tell you the good news.” I didn’t dignify her with a response. “My buyer has finally arrived in Morrocco, how fun? I’ve just sent the boys to go begin the meeting.” This was such bullshit, last time I ever fucking help MI6. “Honestly, whatever intel was being fed to you and Natasha was really shitty.”

“Fuck you.” I muttered.

She sighed exasperatedly. “Well, that’s really all I had to say, anyway best be off.” She stood, waving at me tauntingly.

Before she was out of reached, I kicked out and caught her leg with mine, tripped her and using the momentum to kick back of the chair hard, the wood shattering as it hit the concrete ground. I yanked my arms upward, wooden side handing from my binds. Ignoring the immense agony I swung on Tara, easily landing hit after hit. “I told you it was a bad decision.” I said, dragging her to the ground and punching her again.

The sharp, burning pain in my abdomen had me hesitating, Tara and I both looked down, the black and red handle of the screwdriver peeking out from within my body. “Holy shit…” Her mouth fell open. “I’ve never stabbed anyone before. I don’t know why I did that I’m so sorry.” She yanked the object from me causing me to cry out.

“No! You fucking idiot!” I wrapped my leg around hers quickly, sending her tumbling to the ground and punching her. The adrenaline pumping through my veins stopped me from feeling the pain. I knew I needed to make this quick, there was not going to be fight left in me for long. She slipped her hand free, pressing hard into my wounded side to disable me. I yelled as white-hot agony seared through me, falling to beside her. With gritted teeth, I pushed through the pain, grabbing her arm as she tried to escape and twisting it around behind her back pulling her back down so that her back was pressed to my chest. She thrashed as I wrapped my arms around her neck. The pain in my side was so extreme I could feel tears streaming down my cheek, I put further pressure on her carotid artery tightening my legs around her as I felt her begin to fall unconscious. When she went to sleep, I double checked for a pulse, making sure she’d be okay. When I found it I shoved her from me, laying back and letting out a few painful breaths. Finally, I managed to push myself up, grabbing Tara’s arms and dragging her over to the pillar in the corner. The rope I’d been tied with was still laying on the ground for me to restrain her with. When I was sure she wasn’t escaping I threw the file down on her lap and stole the watch from her wrist.

Blood covered my hands, leaving stains on everything I touched. The fabric of my shirt clung to me as a patch of red appeared. Looking down at the time on Tara’s watch, I realized it was 3:45pm, I’d been bleeding freely for at least 3 minutes already. I let my hand fall to my abdomen, grazing over the wound, closing my eyes I thought hard to remember the internal anatomy in an attempt to decipher what she may have hit. I didn’t think the bleeding was rapid enough to have been an artery or my spleen unless it was just a nick. The button up shirt I wore would have to be a good enough bandage for the time being, I slipped it from my shoulders before wrapping it tightly around my stomach. Things became a little blurry about the time I shoved the heavy metal door open to reveal the afternoon sky, there was a mild breeze blowing over the sweat that glistened over my skin.

I stumbled against the side of the car that I’d been brought here in. A bloody handprint was pressed into the light grey of the door. I looked at the watch again, 3:51. There were no keys in the ignition so I began searching the car as quickly as I could, sun visor, glove compartment, center console; nothing. Something gleaming from the floor of the passenger seat caught my attention, a phone. I grabbed it typing in the familiar number, Natasha wouldn’t have her phone so that isn’t the number I dialed.

“Hello.”

“Tony.” I ground out, putting the phone on speaker and navigating into maps.

“Nadia? Are you okay? Where the hell are you? We lost you on the map.”

“I’m fine, sending you some coordinates, it’s where I left Janssen unconscious. I stopped the sale, but you need to get someone out there to grab her. Hydra aren’t the buyers, they’re the sellers, that militia group Anna mentioned, that’s who is actually buying, they’re waiting back at the hotel for Tara, it’s only a matter of time before they come looking for her.”

When the coordinates went through, I began working on hotwiring the car, I needed to get to a hospital sooner rather than later. “It’s all good, Nat’s handing the buyers, but you don’t sound fine, where are you?”

“Just get someone to the coordinates.”

“Yeah, got it MI6 is on their way. What happened to you?”

I finally got the car going and stepped on it, the roads were blurring together as I travelled down them. “She stabbed me with a fucking screwdriver, I’ll be fine I’m going to the hospital now, just make sure they get Tara. Thank you, Tony.”

“Nadia, don’t you dare hang up!” I ended the call before he could continue.

That ringing I knew all too well filled my ears. I gripped the steering wheel tighter, steeling myself and pushing through the weariness. Passing out simply was not an option, I just needed to get to the hospital and everything would be fine. I could feel the strength slipping from me by the minute, but I held on tighter. This wasn’t happening, not like this.

Not when I never got to answer him. Pietro. I wasn’t even really sure what I was going to say to him, but I deserved the chance to say it just like he deserved a response. I was not going to die in this fucking car because of some stupid Hydra bullshit. Typical, even when I’m bleeding out that Sokovian dickhead was still heavy on my mind. I groaned out loud, narrowing my eyes on the road in an attempt to focus my blurry eyes.

It took opening my eyes to even realize that they’d been closed, my shirt was damp I wasn’t sure if it was sweat or blood, maybe both. The car had stopped and there were flashing lights all around, an unfamiliar voice spoke to me. “Miss, can you hear me?” I wanted to nod but I wasn’t sure if I had the energy. The flashing lights came and went, white rooms, needles, bandages, red hair.

“I’m so fucking sick of you seriously.” I heard a soft voice say.

I smiled weakly at Natasha as my eyes focused, a different hospital, the same friend, sister. “Please tell me we did it.”

She laughed tearily. “Yeah. We did it, Nads.”

…

I gave her hand a tight squeeze as we got off the plane.

“I’m fine.” Her glare almost set me alight. I just smiled.

The New York breeze wrapped around me, welcoming me in. Tony was the first person I saw off the plane, he pulled me into a tight hug. “Please don’t remove me limbs from my body, I’m just kind of glad you’re not dead.” I rolled my eyes, patting his back gently, body stiff, nonetheless. He took the bag from my hands wandering off further into the compound.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” My head whipped around at the familiar voice, lips upturning at the look of pure frustration and disbelief written across his features. Suddenly, Nat was nowhere to be found. Pietro took a few steps toward me. “Do you genuinely have a death wish?!” My smile widened. “Honestly, I do not know what your prob-” I yanked him to me, hands finding the sides of his face as our lips joined. Nothing had ever confused me so much but at the same time made so much sense. I didn’t really get it, but at that moment I really didn’t care. It felt just like it had on the balcony, as if each one of my nerves had become a livewire and everything was okay, comfort and chaos all at once but I wasn’t running this time. I leaned my forehead against his when I pulled away, swallowing heavily.

“You didn’t see that coming?” I murmured, breathless.

His lips curved up into a soft smile, eyes still closed.

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 16. Emma

Previous chapter

Masterlist

It's always darkest before the dawn :)

I'm so excited to share the next two chapters, in my opinion, chapter 18 is the pot at the end of the proverbial rainbow and chapter 17 is a little treat <33

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: Car accidents, canon-typical violence, injuriesNadia totally isn't in denial, arguing, unresolved tension as per usual, Pietro and Nadia in general, just kiss already smh, soft Nadia.

“Here.” I jammed the chocolate-dipped delicacy into Pietro’s hands. He raised an eyebrow at me. “It’s a stroopwafel… you eat it. They’re delicious.” I spoke as if it were obvious.

The corner of his lips upturned as he stared at the item. “I figured. Why are you giving me this.”

“You looked hungry.” I walked ahead of him, adjusting the strawberry blonde wig on my head.

“Right. Of course, so this definitely isn’t you just being sweet on me.”

I offered him a look of disgust. “If anything, it’s me trying to buy your forgiveness.” He chuckled at that. It was the most normal we’d felt in days. It was Wednesday and finally Pietro seemed to not hate me anymore. We still hadn’t spoken about what he was so mad about earlier in the week, but I’d prefer it if things simply got back to normal. No need to talk it out.

“Unfortunately, that’s not something you can buy.” He tossed the waffle in the trash and continued on. I narrowed my eyes at him, but he simply bypassed me and entered the coffee shop. My blood boiled as I worked, where did he get off acting like that? Acting like… well, me, when he first became an Avenger. I chose to ignore this revelation, tonight we’d finally be able to do something, not just sit around and listen. Pietro and I were going to break into Tara Janssen’s office, and I’d access her systems to steal her files.

I’d been antsy all day, craving action. The coffee shop had been dull as usual, Janssen sat drinking her coffee and typing away at her laptop, only answering emails, nothing particularly interesting. She ordered the same thing every day, a black coffee and a meringue tart. She’d smile at me kindly and say thank you when I placed it beside her, never saying anything beyond that.

“Are these your favorite?” I asked, setting down the tart beside her. She startled slightly at my words, glancing at me as if she were a deer and I were the headlights. I smiled gently at her, gesturing toward the plate. “You order this every day.” I explained.

She smiled at me then. “I like sweet things.” She spoke, watching me.

I hummed. “But not sweet coffee?”

“Coffee is a means to an end; it has a purpose. Desserts are just an indulgence, they make me feel better.”

“That’s a philosophy I can get behind.”

Her smile widened. “What’s your name?”

“Emma,” I responded sweetly.

“Pleasure to meet you, Emma, I’m Tara.” She offered her hand, and I shook it gently, gritting my teeth and steeling myself for the contact. “Are you new here?”

“To Amsterdam or the shop? Well, technically the answer is both. I started at the shop this week, but I moved here like a month ago.”

She nodded. “Well, you know if you ever need someone to show you around, I’d be happy to. I know what it’s like to be new to a city, how lonely it can be.” She scribbled her phone number on the napkin by her plate and handed it to me.

I looked it over before folding it and stowing it in my pocket. “That’s so kind of you. I’d really, really like that. Thank you.” My eyes met Pietro’s briefly as I left Tara’s table. He raised a solitary eyebrow at me for just a moment. His jaw ticking slightly before his eyes dropped back to the newspaper in front of him. He looked so different, though I supposed we both did with the disguising bugs that we wore, courtesy of S.H.I.E.L.D.

…

“I’d really, really like that.” Pietro mocked, donning a whiny high-pitched tone.

My hands were settled on my hips as I turned to look at him. “I do not sound like that and what was I supposed to say, she’s the target, I have to play along with whatever game she plays.”

“Oh of course… we are trying to prove that she’s a potential terrorist though, not trying to date her.”

“What is your problem?!” I snapped in a hushed tone as we approached Tara’s office.

He opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Tony’s voice filling the comm.

“Alright, you two, as entertaining as this is we need to get this done before someone catches the two of you skulking around. Nads, let’s do this.” I sighed, entering the room. Pietro remained outside the door keeping watch. Slipping into the swivel chair behind the desk, I turned the computer on. “Just plug in the bug and follow the prompts then I’ll hack her from the compound,” Tony spoke, I did as he said, jamming the flash drive into the laptop and following each of his instructions. After a few long moments of humming and clicking sounds the screen lit up, revealing the company homepage and several folders. “Okay now take a look around and I’ll tell you what to download.” I hummed in agreement. Beginning to click aimlessly on files.

“What am I even looking for? A flashing file called world domination?”

“I mean that would be ideal actually, but I suspect it’ll probably be a little harder than that, unfortunately.” I rolled my eyes, continuing to open files. “It’ll probably be labeled as something innocuous, search for a file type that is different from the others.”

“Christmas 2015?” I muttered clicking on the extremely large file. The screen went black for a moment before a screen with green text opened. “Tony?”

Clicking filled the comms. “Yeah, on it.” I took to swirling in the swivel chair as he typed away. I’d woken up every night this week from the strange dreams, sometimes it was the man in the glasses, sometimes the ballet and often it was that boy on the street, saying that same thing over and over again. Occasionally, a new word would break through, another piece of the sentence revealed to me. “Holy shit.” Tony’s voice had me putting my feet down instantly and grabbing the desk to stop the chair. I blinked several times to reorient myself as I watched the blank screen begin to populate.

“Is it a map? What am I looking at?”

“It’s… everything.” The fact that Tony had been momentarily silenced by our findings had me nervous. “It’s a backdoor to the entire internet, everyone’s personal information, their dirty laundry, codes, government data… everything.”

A blue streak shot by me as Pietro entered the room, leaning on the back of my chair and looking at the screen. I could feel the heat radiating from his body onto mine, it was extremely distracting.

“Jesus Christ, is this going to be like that Ultron bastard all over again?” He muttered.

Tony hummed. “No, no this is a 25-year-old woman with no superpowers that we know of. At least we don’t have to contend with an almost indestructible weapon of intelligence this time around.”

“Well, at least there’s that,” I spoke, glancing over at Pietro. I swallowed heavily as I watched him, the muscles in his jaw feathering lightly. Feeling my gaze, his eyes shifted to meet mine. I could feel myself melting slightly, he was closer than he’d been to me in days. The way my heartbeat picked up concerned me greatly. What the hell was this feeling? Why is it happening to me? How do I make it stop? Can I make it stop?

The more time passed, the less sure I was.

“Okay, download all of this onto the drive and get out of there,” Tony said.

I dragged my gaze back to the screen hesitantly, doing as he’d said, I could feel Pietro still hovering over my shoulder. From my peripheral, it seemed like he was shooting me glances, though I didn’t want to look his way again, couldn’t risk getting side-tracked. I watched the download bar progress, the pace felt excruciating. Finally, I glanced over my shoulder at the cause of my torment. I muted my comm and turned the chair to face him, crossing my arms. “Can we talk about it now?”

Pietro raised an eyebrow at me, muting his comm as well. “Talk about what.”

“The thing you said you didn’t want to talk about the other night, the reason you’re so mad,” I responded tersely.

He scoffed. “What makes you think I want to talk about it now?” He made a show of looking at our surroundings. “This isn’t exactly the place for a deep and meaningful conversation.”

“I don’t care, we need to talk about it.”

“You cannot be serious; you never want to talk about anything and all of the sudden you’re expressing your feelings?”

I clenched my hands into fists at my sides, narrowing my eyes at him. “No, I’m asking you to express your feelings in a way that isn’t huffy and whiney rudeness, dickhead.” He rolled his eyes at me, sighing exasperatedly and mumbling something incoherent under his breath. I suspected it was Sokovian. With a heavy swallow, I shut my eyes tightly, taking a moment to collect myself. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

A little smile tugged at his lips. “Who are you and what have you done with Nadia?”

“Wow, you’re so funny.” I deadpanned. “I do not want to talk about this either, Pietro, obviously… but if the alternative is you hating me, then fine let’s talk about it, consider me a conversationalist.”

The look in his eyes told me he wanted to talk, to tell me what was going on. However, his jaw remained tight. I opened my mouth to speak again but before I was engulfed by a blue and silver blur. My back hit the wall silently, Pietro’s hand pressed firmly over my mouth, his chest flush to mine. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, and he turned my head toward the glass pane of the office, within moments a flashlight shone through, and a security guard appeared, wandering down the hall between the offices, searching for signs of life. I closed my eyes for a second, it’s lucky one of us was paying attention. I was infuriated by the situation. I’d been so caught up in him being mad at me that I completely let my guard down. This is exactly why I wanted some distance between us, this is what happens when you get too invested. When the elevator doors closed behind the guard and the coast was clear I intended to shove Pietro off of me and say something cruel, something to further the wedge between us. However, all it took was one glance into his beautiful blue eyes and I was right back on the balcony that night, seeing the hurt flash across his face as I fled this thing that was not just his fault but my own too. He let his hand drop from my mouth but didn’t move from his place against me, scanning our surroundings one more time before peeling his body from mine. Air filled my lungs once more, but it felt different now, disorienting, and jagged. I tore my gaze from the man before me when he looked at me, walking swiftly back to the laptop to see it had finished downloading. I ejected the drive and shoved it into my pocket, zipping the material and pulling the hood back over my head. Tony had hacked the security cameras to get us in unseen, but I still didn’t want to take the risk.

Pietro extended his arm for me, wordlessly. I stared at it for a long moment before closing my eyes and accepting it. One second wind whipped around me so quickly it made me dizzy and the next my feet were planted firmly on the ground at the door of our hotel room. He stepped toward the door but halted in his tracks, his fingers slipping from the handle before he turned to me, his gaze so intense that it had me frozen in place.

“I have never, not even for a moment, hated you, Nadia.” No words came to mind as I stood there completely still, watching him. He hesitated for a moment, looking toward the door before shooting me another glance. The look in his eyes made something deep in me falter. I didn’t think there was anything else he could say that would affect me the way his gaze had just now… but then he spoke again. “Sometimes I wish I did, maybe then this wouldn’t be so hard to talk about.”

His name fell from my lips, so quietly I wasn’t sure he’d even hear me. It was completely unintentional and yet it slipped out so easily, almost instinctually. He closed his eyes for a moment, not meeting my eyes again before he turned and entered the hotel room.

We didn’t speak again for the rest of the night. By the time I walked into the room, he was in the shower, after which he went straight to bed without so much as offering me a glance. I’d laid awake most of the night, replaying his words over and over in my head. Part of me wanted to take the worst from it, to hone in on the word hate. He wanted to hate me, that’s what he said. That part of my brain screamed that I was right to push him away, he was telling me how he felt, if he had the choice, I’d be his mortal enemy. That wasn’t the part that won out though because that isn’t what he’d said to me, and maybe sometimes I wish that he would just hate me too. I’d tried really hard to make him hate me, and even though he was evidently upset with me right now, he still didn’t hate me, and just like he said that makes all of this so much harder. It wasn’t so much the words he spoke that I clung to, but what lived between his lines.

The sun had been extra bright the next morning and I was feeling hopeful. I’d left before him to begin my shift at the coffee shop, stopping on the way at the specialty bakery I’d spotted two days before. When Pietro finally arrived and took his usual seat, the morning rush had just died down and Tara was yet to come in. I quickly set up a plate and saucer beside the barista, telling her what I wanted her to do. The instruction brought a cheeky smile to her lips as she brewed the rich coffee. He didn’t look up when I walked over to his table, continuing to scan his eyes over the newspaper that lay he held before him. I didn’t let his attitude deter me, placing the coffee down in front of him slightly harder than necessary. His eyes trailed slowly from the newspaper to the drink before him, his regular coffee order but with a little smiley face on top made out of cocoa powder. “Cute.” He muttered, returning to his newspaper. God, he was a smartass, I swallowed down my amusement at his antics, placing the little plate before him next. As hard as he tried to ignore it, his curiosity evidently got the better of him and his eyes darted to the plate, eyebrows furrowing instantly. He glanced over his shoulder at the glass display at the front of the shop before doing a double take of the dessert before him. “They don’t sell these here.” It was quiet but I heard him loud and clear.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” I rolled my eyes at myself, shaking my head and adding. “There’s a specialty bakery on the other side of town, they have desserts and pastries from a bunch of different places… Sokovia too.” My voice lowered at the end of my sentence as my eyes darted between him and the plate. Suddenly, I was nervous, palms sweating. Maybe this was stupid, this isn’t me. I don’t do things like this it’s too real… too vulnerable. I took a deep breath, shaking off the anxiety of it all and steadying myself. He remained silent for a stretch of time that had my heart pick up once more. “Plum dumplings…” I clarified as if maybe he simply wasn’t sure what they were from a glance.

“I know.” His voice gave nothing away about how he was feeling. I felt sick to my stomach as I stood there awaiting a proper response. Every fear that I had just banished came creeping back into my head then. Why wasn’t he saying anything? I glanced around the café to see the other patrons, sipping coffee and going about their days, blissfully unaware of this excruciating experience. I’d endure torture that was more pleasant than this. Then, finally, he spoke up. However, as soon as the words left his mouth, I wished we had just remained in that deafening silence. “I hate plum dumplings.” He didn’t even look at me as he said it.

I felt sick to my stomach in the moment, rage boiled through me, yet the nausea was the thing that hit me the hardest. “Fine,” I uttered, disgusted by how defeated my voice sounded. I rolled my eyes at him as I walked away, feeling utterly defeated. I had just wanted things to be okay between us again. Even when he didn’t seem mad, I hated how he was acting toward me. This distance was unbearable. I ran a hand through my hair, well, my wig, that was weird. My body coming into contact with another pulled me swiftly from my thoughts.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, honestly, I’m such a klutz. Are you okay?” I asked, my English accent strong as I gazed at Tara.

“No worries at all, I’m completely fine, I promise.” She spoke gently, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “It’s really my fault anyway, I was just in too much of a hurry.”

I smiled warmly at her. “Take a seat I’ll grab you your regular.”

“No need.” She lifted her hand to show the takeaway coffee cup. I hadn’t even noticed her come, that was bizarre. Sure, I haven’t exactly been myself this past week, but I wasn’t that out of it that I’d miss her coming in. I shook it off, maintaining my smile and offering her a kind farewell before turning to walk away. “Oh, and Nadia, I have to say I really prefer your normal face, disguise tech-free.”

My heart stopped beating for a second but when you’d undergone the training I had, it was easy to hide any sudden emotions. I glanced back at her with furrowed eyebrows and a slightly amused smile. “Are you talking to me? Damn, I thought I was a bit more memorable than that, my name’s Emma.”

She only smiled at me. “Fuck, you’re really good! You actually had me, you know that, well of course you know. Unfortunately for you, good old-fashioned intelligence agencies just aren’t what they used to be. Money can buy a lot of things, even people’s loyalty.” My mind was working a million miles a minute, there was a rat, someone was feeding her information.

My composure didn’t falter for a second. “Sorry, I think maybe you’ve got me confused with someone, I’m a waitress, what do you think this is some kind of strange spy movie?” I giggled as if she were being ridiculous.

“A word of advice, because for whatever reason, I find myself taken with you… Soon, MI6, CIA all those ridiculous government ops will be a thing of the past, so you really ought to switch to the winning team.” She took a step toward me, placing her hand beside her mouth the way one would before telling a secret. “I’m the winning team if that wasn’t clear.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, tilting my head slightly. “I think you’re confused, Tara. Is there someone I can call for you?”

“Shame.” She spoke, blowing me a kiss before turning and walking out of the café.  I turned back to where Pietro had been sitting the second, she was gone.

It was nothing more than a glint, the gray metal slipping from a suit jacket that had me reacting. I pushed a civilian out of the way, using my coffee tray to hit the man, slamming his wrist against the table before he could shoot. I restrained him, ignoring the gasps and panic of the other people in the café. The tattoo on his neck had me hesitating for a moment, the 6-armed octopus seemed branded into my mind, but not from the Avengers' previous fights with Hydra. I’d seen this tattoo before, I just couldn’t remember where. A blue and silver streak caught my attention, a man went flying to the ground a second later, he’d had a gun pointed at my head I realized. My short distraction had almost cost me my life. The man I was restraining swung at me with his free arm, but I dodged it easily, however, the sudden movement allowed him to get free of my grip. I disarmed him before he could use the gun, but he got a good hit or two in. He was good, I’d give him that. I grabbed a coffee cup from the table and smashed it over his head, using the base of the gun to hit him again and knock him unconscious. Customers were crouched down, hiding around the shop while some inched toward the door to leave. I looked toward Pietro who nodded toward the back exit of the building.

“Thank you,” I muttered to him as we moved toward a car that was parked out the back.

He only grunted in response.

I jumped into the driver’s side, slamming the gun into the steering wheel column until the plastic shifted and I could pry it off to reveal the wires beneath. I could feel Pietro’s gaze on me as I hotwired the car with ease. “Where the hell did you learn to do that?”

I raised an eyebrow at him as the car started. “The same place I learned how to do most of the things I can do.”  He nodded, putting his seatbelt on as I began to drive us away from the shop. “We’ve been made, that guy was Hydra, if they’re involved this is a lot worse than we realized. We need to destroy all our intel that’s at the hotel before we leave Amsterdam.” I spoke calmly as if this wasn’t as big of a deal as it was.

Pietro watched me intently. “Right… and if they’re already there?”

“Then I will go and destroy the intel and you’ll call Tony from the car.”

“You’re not serious.”

The look I gave him evidently told him otherwise. “Jesus Christ, Nadia, you’re not hospitalizing yourself for this. How many times do we have to have this argument?!”

“I’m not arguing. Hydra isn’t getting our intel, if they’re already at our hotel then we do things the hard way. I’m a big girl I’ll be fine.”

“You are fucking infuriating! You say that other people don’t make sense to you? You don’t make sense to me! You’re right, we’re not arguing. I’m telling you that this isn’t the plan, there must be another way that doesn’t involve you getting killed.”

I whipped my head in his direction, eyes narrowed. “Do you want them to get our intel?”

“I don’t give a shit about the intel! Just like I didn’t give a shit about the mission in Russia, not if it means that you get yourself killed just to get the job done.”

It all happened in slow motion. I saw the car plowing toward us reflected in Pietro’s wide eyes as I opened my mouth to respond. The sound of metal gnashing and crushing filled my ears and we were moving, or at least I think we were. It felt like it went on forever, I barely even felt my head slam into the window of the driver’s side door. I don’t even remember the airbag bursting out.

When my eyes first opened, I shut them quickly, blinded by the brightness. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed but I knew something felt very wrong. It took me several long moments to orient myself and realize that we were upside down. Hanging from our seats, only kept in place by our seatbelts. A small pool of blood sat below me, replenished by a steady drip originating from my head. I pressed a hand to the flesh to feel a wet patch along my hairline. When I looked over the first thing, I saw was an unconscious Pietro. I reached out, ignoring the ache in my arm and the blood streaking covering my hand. Gripping his shoulder as best I could, I shook it again and again.

“Pietro, wake up.” He didn’t move. “Pietro, open your eyes, I don’t know if I can drag you out.” Still nothing. I unclipped my seatbelt, groaning as I fell to the glass-covered floor, well roof I suppose. My head was spinning, a ringing sound in my ears. I shuffled beneath Pietro, reaching up to unclasp his seatbelt. It appeared jammed, I yanked at it again and again, but a sound caught my attention. I glanced outside the shattered window to see orange flames growing around the car. The sight of fire had me pulling the belt harder, the commotion seemingly enough to finally wake the man before me.

“Nadia?” He croaked. I did not respond, only kept banking at his belt. “You need to get out of the car.” I shook my head, still focusing on the unyielding metal clasp. “You have to go now before the car catches.” I made a sound of raw frustrated exhaustion in the back of my throat as I pulled even harder. “Go, Nadia. Now.”

“No!”

My eyes were stinging, I realized then. The physical pain that ran through my body had become secondary. “I can’t walk.” He told me. “My leg.” I looked down to see his leg bent at a painful angle, no doubt in my mind that it was broken.

“You’ll heal.”

“Not that fast.”

I shook my head again. “Then I’ll fucking drag you, just shut up because I’m not leaving you here! Don’t ask me to because I won’t.” I braced myself on his chair, yet again ignoring the excruciating agony that shot through my nerve endings from the exertion.

“I’m sorry.”

I glanced at him. “For what?” I asked, yanking hard again and again on the seatbelt, putting all of my weight on it and pulling.

“I don’t hate plum dumplings, I love them, I’ve loved them since I was a kid, I was just being an asshole.” Finally, the broken clasp released, and Pietro was freed, tumbling down on top of me.

I looked down at the window by my feet, kicking it until it shattered. When it was gone, I shuffled out from under Pietro and climbed out, reaching back in to pull Pietro with me. He moved as much as he could but both of us were on the verge of unconsciousness. I gripped him tightly, pulling the both of us as far from the burning car as I could. When we were away, I let my body go limp. Pietro was out cold beside me as I fell onto my back, black dots began invading my vision and everything became a little fuzzy as the world faded out.

I found myself back on that sunny New York street, standing in front of the boy with the silly shirt and the warm smile.

He reached out, tugging on one of my braids teasingly. “Do you want pizza? I really want pizza, the kind with the super stringy cheese. We can get some after school, but you can’t tell Dad he’ll be so mad at us for filling up before dinner.”

His smile was so familiar. Seeing it was like exhaling after years of holding my breath, I didn’t understand why. Warmth ran across my shoulders as he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me to walk beside him.

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 15. The greatest

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Hi :)

Whatever is Pietro so upset about?

 Things are coming to a head for Pietro and Nadia, big things coming in the very near future! <33

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: Nightmares, Nadia totally isn't in denial, arguing, so so much tension, Pietro and Nadia in general, just kiss already smh.

“So basically, they’re all like super rich kids who go to this school, and those two main girls were best friends, but Blair’s boyfriend is in love with Serena and Blair’s mom likes Serena better so there’s tension.” I watched Pietro with raised eyebrows as he spoke animatedly about the show, explaining in great detail the main plot to me. “Then there’s Dan who also likes Serena but he’s not in their group and he’s not rich like the others, but his sister is friends with Blair, kind of.” His eyes looked brighter today or maybe it was just the glow of the TV reflecting off of him. I’d been so entranced by the curve of his jaw and the sound of his voice that I’d been seated beside him for God knows how long now.

A small smile tugged at my lips. “Why did Serena leave?”

“Because she slept with Nate, Blair’s boyfriend.”

I shook my head. “Enthralling, really.”

He smirked at me. “It is.”

“This show sounds completely fucking ridiculous.”

“That’s what makes it so good!” Pietro responded, throwing a handful of nuts into his mouth. “I was sure I’d figured it out, but now I’m starting to think I was wrong.”

“Who the fuck cares who gossip girl is!” He was positively giggling at me now.

I rolled my eyes but was unable to stop the smile from overtaking my expression. It was strange to see him so excited about something so silly. The sound of heels clicking against the smooth floors caught my attention, when I glanced over my shoulder a large smile spread across my lips as I took in the familiar dark-haired woman before me. “Hello, stranger.” I was on my feet in but a moment, Pietro’s head whipping around to see what I was looking at.

“Anna!” I crossed the space between us quickly, allowing her to wrap me in her warm embrace. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.” The smile seemed permanently etched on my features.

“Well, I have a few days before my next assignment and wanted to see your face.” She let go of me and surveyed me, the way a mother would her child. Then her eyes slipped beyond my face to the silver-haired man on the couch and the TV in front of him. The corners of her lips tugged upward as she met my gaze once more. “Are you watching Gossip Girl? Haven’t you already seen it like a hundred times, Nads?”

My cheeks instantly grew warm, and I saw Pietro’s head swing toward me at an alarming speed. I scoffed, shaking my head as I attempted to play nonchalant. Pietro’s entire expression lit up and his mouth fell open as he pointed at me. “You little liar.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve never seen this before.”

“Yeah right! You just like hearing me talk.”

I rolled my eyes, turning back to Anna and setting her with a glare.

“Whatever is happening between the two of you… I like it.” Anna told me as we sat down at the island bench in the kitchen. The look I gave her had a beaming smile spreading across her lips. “As much as I would love to delve so much further into you and Pietro, unfortunately, this isn’t strictly a social call.” The shift in her voice had me sitting up straighter, I knew her well enough to notice the slightest change in her demeanor. Right now, it was evident to me that she was genuinely concerned about whatever she was going to tell me. “MI6 have been looking into a string of assassinations in Europe, we believe it’s linked to a militia group, but we don’t actually have any proof. I’m not supposed to disclose anything specific until you agree to act as the United States representative in the case.”

I raised an eyebrow at her. “How very mysterious. If I agree?”

“You’d be flying to Amsterdam in next week to begin recon on a key player.”

“A militia group in Amsterdam? What do they do, smoke joints and ride bikes away from their assassinations?”

Anna’s face twitched as she attempted to remain composed. “They’re not based there. We want you to look into the CEO of a tech company, Tara Janssen, we think she’s stumbled onto something big and is planning on selling it, likely to the militia group. If that’s her intention whatever she’s selling needs to be intercepted immediately.”

I wasn’t particularly concerned about the tech company nor the woman in charge who upon my Google search turned out to be a camera-shy young woman who certainly didn’t strike me as some kind of evil mastermind hacker. However, the general air around Anna and the way she spoke about the case had me questioning my initial beliefs. That is why I agreed to go to Amsterdam and help MI6 with their investigation, even when Anna informed me that they wanted to send me with backup… backup in the form of one Pietro Maximoff. I swallowed down the feelings that nagged at me and the large bright warning signs that flashed through my mind and agreed to this as well. Friends; that is what we had agreed on. Friends did not try to cut each other out of missions. Everything would be fine, we’d been getting along lately, sparring was fine, as was life in the compound. We could share a hotel room for a week without killing each other or repeating any extremely insane lapses of judgment. Yes, I was sure we would be fine. I continued to repeat this mantra in my head over the coming days, in training, at mealtimes, before bed.

Once I was asleep, I didn’t have to think about it because there was plenty to occupy my mind and dreams. At the forefront was the bespectacled man with the syringe. Each night when I closed my eyes, I was greeted by images of him, the music from the ballet was always ringing through my ears as he adjusted my binds and injected me with the undisclosed liquid. Some nights, however, it was different. Some nights I found myself in the sunshine walking along that unfamiliar city street, trying to catch up with the boy in the backpack. Even when I took to a run, I couldn’t catch up to him, I wasn’t sure why I so desperately wanted to. When I was awake it made no sense to me, but in my dreams, there was this peculiar feeling in my chest, a magnetism that propelled me toward the boy.

The wind twirled around my plaits, dancing across the expanse of my flesh and dusting over my cheeks as I returned to the street. I closed my eyes this time, listening to the sounds that surrounded me, trying to find something, anything to explain what I was seeing and why. At first, there was nothing, complete silence, but then, slowly I began to hear. At first it was the faint chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves. I listened harder and the sounds grew louder, footsteps bounced off of the pavement echoing in my ears, prompting me to open my eyes. A shoulder was the first thing I saw, he wore a dark blue sweatshirt, and the corner of a flannel shirt peeked out at me. I wanted to look at his face but my eyes remained trained along his shoulder. When my eyes finally shifted,  the white top he wore beneath his flannel was revealed. Two beakers with different colored liquids within them and a speech bubble extending from one.

‘Hey dude, I think you’re overacting!’ It read.

When my eyes finally reached his face, I realized that he was speaking. His eyes were trained on me, but I couldn’t hear him, his lips moved but no sound came out. I listened as hard as I could. It was as though I were watching something on the television, but the sound wasn’t connected. For a moment I could hear his voice, it was muffled, and I couldn’t understand any of the words, but I could hear him and for some bizarre reason, I felt relieved.

It was like this night after night. The boy would speak to me but none of his words resonated with me, yet each night I would stand before him and listen. Until one night, when things were different, his shirt was the same, stupid science joke, flannel, and sweatshirt over the top. But this time I heard him better, not completely but certain words made it through.

‘Pizza, the kind with the super stringy cheese.’ … ‘not supposed to fill up before dinner.’ …

Then there was something else, a single sentence that would stick to me like glue in my waking hours. Before I could dwell the man in glasses was back, but this time he had the syringe to the boy’s neck.

I lurched from my bed, sweat beading on my forehead. My heart was racing a million miles a minute, thumping against my chest. I pressed my palms to my head, running my fingers through my hair and taking a deep breath.

Cold seeped into my limbs as I walked toward the kitchen, stretching my arms over my head as I went. I sipped from my glass of ice water like a traveler who’d just spent days in the Sahara. The coldness soothed me slightly. A glow emanating from the sitting area caught my attention, the familiar theme song humming through the air. I leaned against the door frame watching Pietro sprawl out on the couch in front of the television. “You really like this show, huh?”

His head whipped around when I spoke, surprise etched across his features, though it quickly shifted into an easy smile. “Rumor has it I’m not the only one.” I rolled my eyes, unable to stop the smile from spreading across my lips.

“Whatever.” I dropped down onto the couch beside him.

He gasped fakely. “Giving into defeat so easily? What have you done with my Nadia?” I settled further into the seat, stretching my legs out to rest on the small table before us. My eyes fell on him then, he was already looking at me. “It’s late. Couldn’t sleep?”

I nodded gently, looking back to the screen. “You know I actually started watching this show because I struggled to sleep.” He raised his eyebrow at me. “It was a long time ago, they used to play reruns of episodes late at night, I just turned it on for white noise but then all of a sudden I’d watched half a season. It was just so easy.” Silence fell between us then. “It’s stupid I know.”

“It’s not.”

I turned my head toward him, leaning it on the back of the couch. He lay in the same position, face close to mine. “Why are you up?” I asked.

“Nightmare.”

“Same.”

“We’re going to Amsterdam in two days. I’ve never been, have you?”

I nodded. “A long time ago, I don’t really remember it.” His gaze burned into the side of my cheek. “It’ll be nice to get out of the compound for a while though.”

“Even if it’s with me?”

“We’re friends now, Pietro.” I looked over at him again, he wore an unreadable expression.

A hum came from him, followed by a nod. “Very special friends.” He was smirking now. That devious little look that made my skin burn.

“You’re very annoying.”

“Well, you’re the one who wanted to be my friend.”

It was astounding that the intensity of my glare didn’t cause him to burst into flames. “I hate you.”

“I don’t think you do.” He had this uncanny ability to make thinking straight impossible whenever he’d look right at me like he was now.

“What makes you so sure? I hated you once, remember?”

He hummed; we were so close that my air was his air. “No, you didn’t.” Before I could retort he was speaking again. “Not really.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, and my lips upturned very slightly. “You seem sure.”

“I know you, Nadia.” I opened my mouth but once again he beat me to the punch. “Deny it all you want but I do. Unfortunately for you, I see through you. You never hated me.”

“I threw a knife at you when we met, not exactly a gesture of friendship.”

He reached forward, dusting a stray curl from my eyes. “Hm, I think you knew I’d catch it; I think you were just playing coy.”

I rolled my eyes. “You are delusional, Pietro Maximoff.” His smile only grew. Once again silence fell between us, a comfortable, soothing silence, only filled by the low hum of a pop song playing on the television. We weren’t even watching it anymore.

…

We were leaving for Amsterdam first thing tomorrow. MI6 had sent over their files, and we were prepped to go. Tony and Maria Hill would be here at the compound on the other end of our comms awaiting intel.

I was currently teaching Pietro a selection of different chokeholds and debilitating holds. “Something about the name guillotine chokehold makes me think I don’t want you to demonstrate it on me.”

A cheeky smile took over my expression as I waved him over toward me. “You’ll be fine. Have I ever hurt you before?”

His eyes became the size of dinner plates then. “Yes!” He spoke disbelievingly.

“Stop being a baby, this won’t hurt.”

I moved toward him, gesturing for him to take up a defensive stance, when he was ready, I took hold of the back of his head. His hair was soft and a little damp from sweat but I didn’t mind. “Are you sure this is a fighting pose?” I chuckled, moving swiftly to bring his head under my arm while the other slid around it to lock him in. He made a sound of discomfort, before I dropped onto my backside, bringing him down on top of me and locking my ankles behind his back to trap him in my tight hold. He tapped immediately and I let him go, laughing at his expression of indignation. “It should not be so easy for you to do that.” He moved back to his feet quickly pulling me up with him. “Show me how.”

It was a simple maneuver, one that he picked up quite quickly. Or at least he partially got it. “You’re not going to choke me out like that,” I spoke nonchalantly, completely unfazed by his weak hold on my neck. “You’re not gripping in the right place and your guard is wide open.”

“My guard is not op-” Before he could finish, I’d slipped from his grip and put him on his back. “That was incredibly rude and plus if I choked you out, I wouldn’t have the pleasure of your incessant taunting.”

“Get off your ass,” I spoke walking back to the center of the mat. “You’re getting it, but you need to put pressure on the carotid artery to send someone unconscious.”

Pietro raised an eyebrow at me. “What am I a doctor? How the hell would I know where the carotid artery is?” His words and the frustration evident in them had my smile growing.

“It’s in your neck.”

“Great. Very helpful, sensei.”

My cheeks hurt from grinning. I took a few steps forward, looking down at his hand that hung idly at his side. It was a few long moments before I did anything. Pietro watched my every movement intently, not daring to glance away for even a second as I took ahold of his hand, situating it between both of mine to fold his fingers down so only two remained standing. Slowly I brought his hand toward myself, one hand sliding down to sit around his wrist whilst the other remained atop his as I pressed his fingers to the side of my neck, just below my ear. He did not speak a word as I dragged his finger along the flesh of my neck above the artery. I took a long, deep breath. His eyes glanced between mine and the hand that lingered on my skin, even after I let my hands drop back to my sides. “That’s the carotid artery.” My words came out as a mere murmur, quiet and soft; gentle. The way his fingertips felt as they slid across my collarbone dipping just a few centimeters lower before they dropped from my body.

The feeling of his fingers made my skin burn as if he’d branded me. I felt all day. Even on our flight to Amsterdam, a deep tingling warmth settled across my skin, the phantom of his touch. He’d been quiet, unusually so and it was beginning to put me on edge. The silence was sending me insane. It was completely unlike him to let me hear myself think. The truth was, I wanted him to talk, because when I was focused on him, I wasn’t thinking about the images that plagued my sleeping mind, the words that the young boy had spoken to me in my dreams. I assured myself that was the only reason I wanted him to speak.

The room was nice, spacious, and the beds were plush; even better, there were two of them. No more sharing, no more forced proximity to my companion who’d spoken a total of two words to me since we arrived.

“Is something wrong?”

He grunted out something that sounded akin to the word no.

“Convincing.” Still, he didn’t speak, instead, he opened his suitcase and began searching through it. Not even offering me a glance. “You know what, it’s good that you don’t want to talk about it. I’m glad because I don’t want to hear about it.” I turned away from him as I spoke the words, grabbing the file from my bag and walking to the next room to look over it. There really wasn’t much point, I already knew it like the back of my hand. We stayed this way for hours, in separate rooms, neither of us daring to speak a word to each other. I didn’t understand what was wrong with him, he’d been in a mood since we finished training yesterday.

As soon as his touch began to fade, I’d blink and feel it all over again. I clenched my hand into a fist, shaking my head. That was enough, the thoughts would stop because I would will them to. Just as I had with the memories of my dreams. The boy had been back each night, the same half-muted conversation, garbled words that were almost impossible to understand, and one phrase that sent a shiver down my spine. My phone buzzed on the table drawing my attention. An address and a time sent by Tony, followed by a message from Natasha that had me gritting my teeth.

‘Be safe… use protection.’

I slammed my phone face down onto the table. “We should eat something,” I said, re-entering the bedroom. Pietro didn’t even glance up at me. I softened my tone; slightly. “Room service?”

“I don’t know… sure, that sounds fine… I guess.”

I raised a single eyebrow at him, he still hadn’t looked at me. “Well, as long as you’re sure.”

The look on his face told me he did not appreciate my sarcasm, yet he didn’t say a word. He continued to stare down at his phone.

“Okay, enough! What is your problem?”

His head whipped up, finally meeting my gaze. “Are you serious?!” I narrowed my eyes at him. Pure exasperation was evident across his expression. “You, Nadia. You are my problem.”

I was enraged that his words struck me the way they did, made me feel something; something entirely unpleasant and wholly sickening. “What did I do?” My tone was cold, yet there was something small beneath the shield of indifference. Something trembling and hurt.

He was on his feet then, pacing the floor beside his bed. “You can’t seriously not know what I mean.”

“Most of what you say is nonsense, it cannot be surprising to you that sometimes I’m a little lost.” I could almost feel his anger from the other side of the room, it was palpable. Part of me was thrilled by it, part of me ached to keep prodding him, keep poking the proverbial bear. So, I did. “Well, are you going to say something? I’m on the edge of my seat here, really, you know how I love hearing your grievances.”

His glare almost had a laugh bubbling in my throat. Then, suddenly it dissolved into a mask of cool indifference. “What’s the plan for tomorrow?”

I was taken aback by his sudden shift, even his tone had changed. It was honestly a little impressive. “Not a chance, you started this, so finish it. Air your grievances, Pietro, tell me what’s got you so riled up.”

“We’re not talking about this now.” My eyebrows shot up at the tone he took with me. Bold.

“Oh, you’re telling me what we are and are not going to talk about? Is that what’s happening right now?”

He’d crossed the room in a few long strides. “What’s the plan for tomorrow?” His tone remained. “Are you going to tell me, Nadia? I know you have a plan, you’re nothing if not calculated.

I smiled at him, no doubt in my mind that the look was chilling. Amusement evident on my face. “You’re being a prick right now, it’s a little funny, but you should probably stop.”

“Is that what I should do?”

“If you know what’s good for you it is.”

His jaw clenched. “Tell me what the fucking plan is, Nadia.” His voice stayed even, not raised, same cold tone. There was fire in his eyes.

“Ask me one more time.”

He did.

My hands were fisted at my side. I had no clue what was going on right now. My body was so tightly strung I felt ready to explode, rage and something entirely different simmered in my belly, urging me to move toward him.

“I’ll pretend to be a new waitress at the coffee shop Tara Janssen frequents. You’ll pretend to be a customer. The plan tomorrow is the same as it will be every day for the next week, we will watch her and take notes.”

“So, what I sit around for a week and hope she accidentally tells us she’s a criminal mastermind?”

“You’ll sit down, shut up, and eat a fucking pastry until I tell you to stop. Is that clear enough?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair and turning away from me. “And you say I’m a prick.” Before I could even process what I was doing I was less than a pace from him and shoving him hard. He spun sharply on his heel to face me; disbelief evident on his face. “Very mature.” I went to push him again, but he caught my arm before I could, yanking me forward in the process. My chest was flush with his and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop my eye from dropping to his lips for just a moment. Before anything else happened, I yanked myself from his grip, turning away from him immediately.

“Stop now. That’s the plan, it’s going to be a long week, so just get some sleep. Lose the attitude too.” Before he could say anything else I’d stormed to the bathroom.

Our first day undercover had been much the same. A cold quiet breakfast where Pietro barely acknowledged me, a long boring day serving coffees and bugging the CEO’s phone. I’d been issued with a wig and glasses to complete my persona. Code name: Emma Salsberry, English university student studying abroad. It was an easy character; one I could play in my sleep. When we’d returned to the hotel, I’d set up our listening equipment on the dining table, lots of fancy tech things that would emit recordings caught from the target’s cellphone. Tony had explained it to me, but I hadn’t really been listening. Pietro dropped down onto the couch as I began to listen to the audio. MI6’s intel said she was supposed to be having a meeting at the coffee shop on Thursday. I spent hours there, listening intently to the CEO talk about menial things, it was endlessly dull.

“Why do we think that she’s guilty again?”

The first hint of normalcy from him. My head shot up at the sound of his voice, relief bathing over me at his perfectly regular tone. I shrugged. “Apparently, she stumbled upon something she shouldn’t have. I don’t know, MI6 are very cryptic.”

He nodded and then there was silence again. It was beginning to eat at me, the sound of the clock on the wall gnawing at my brain. Eventually, I could take no more and I stood to go take a shower.

“I’m sorry that I called you a prick.” These were the first words out of my mouth when I emerged from the steam filled bathroom, toweling at my hair as I went.

“It’s okay I was acting like one.”

Even in his acknowledgement his words were still cold, distant. They sounded nothing like him. “Please tell me why you’re so mad at me.”

He scoffed, running a hand through his hair, sending me a solitary glance over his shoulder. “I do not understand how you don’t know why I’m mad.”

I clenched my hands into fists, rage coursing through my veins. The anger management exercises were not helping so I stormed into the next room, however, it was only a mere moment before I lost control and stormed right back into the living area. “Because it comes easily to you!” I exclaimed, causing his head to whip in my direction. Shock written across his expression at my outburst. “All of this-” I waved my arms between the two of us. “It comes easily to you, so of course you do not understand. It does not come easily to me.”

“What are you talking about, Nadia?”

“I never learnt how to feel things! I learnt where the major arteries are, how long it takes someone to bleed out. There was nothing but the mission in the Red Room, that is all we were for, killing and completing the mission. For the majority of my life that is all I knew. Nothing else mattered, not emotions or these menial rules of politeness. I do not know how to feel things like normal people, and yes, I am aware that irrespective of this I do feel things.” I recalled Natasha’s words as I spoke. “But I do not understand my feelings, and understanding how other people feel is an entirely different problem. I don’t know when I’ve hurt someone, I can gather when they’re mad at me. It’s the why that I struggle with. I know that I’ve done something to hurt you, but please don’t ask me to guess how because that I can’t do.”

He looked at his feet for a moment before meeting my eyes, his were a fraction softer than before. “I know. I’m sorry that I was mean to you, but I don’t want to talk about this now.”

I nodded, fiddling with my fingers. “Fine we won’t talk… but you don’t get to keep treating me like shit, at least not while we’re on this mission.”

He agreed, a single firm nod of his head accompanied his verbal confirmation. I wasn’t entirely satisfied but at least we’d be able to get this done without killing each other… potentially.

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 14. Saw you in a dream

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Hi friends, apologies for the inconsistent uploads, things will get back on schedule after the next few weeks and it will be business as usual :))

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: big sisters Anna and Natasha, PTSD and trauma, Nadia totally isn't in denial, mentions of injuries.

I picked up my pace, pushing my body to move faster across the field. The sun bathed my flesh as I ran. Sweat beaded across my forehead but I ignored it, completing another lap around the compound. I’d decided to workout outside today, a decision which had nothing to do with the silver-haired Sokovian I’d spied venturing to the gym early this morning. I’d been training for the past few hours, cardio workout and then running laps. When my body was moving, I could avoid the things I didn’t want to deal with.

It wasn’t just the moment Pietro and I shared, Obolensky’s words had not left me. I’d laid awake in bed many nights since Moscow racking my brain, trying to understand. He wanted to live in our minds, to destroy us mentally, there was a real possibility that his questions about the ballet were nothing more than tactics to torture me. Yet, even with this in mind, the words would not leave me. There was this feeling deep within, something niggling and unyielding, something that called to me, begged me to look deeper.

“Are we gonna spend the whole day out here?” Natasha asked, shielding her eyes from the sun as she sat dropped down onto the grass.

I sighed exasperatedly, barely sparing her a glance. “It’s a beautiful day, the sun will be good for us.” I began a set of pushups.

“Oh right, so you’re definitely not just avoiding Pietro?”

“I am not avoiding him! I am… Jesus, can we not do this right now?”

She giggled, shaking her head at me. “Fine, we won’t but you owe me after this.”

I sat on the grass beside her, sipping from my water bottle. “What do you want?”

“Let’s go into the city, I need a break from Avengers business for a little while.” Laying out on the warm grass I stretched my limbs, laying my arm over my eyes to block the sun. “And by that, I mean I already booked us a hotel for Saturday night, a whole two-day away from the compound. That means we won’t have to get heat stroke just to avoid your boyfriend.”

The glare I sent her was vicious, it brought a grin to her face. I didn’t move from my position on the ground.

Natasha scoffed at me, moving to her feet and nodding toward the compound. “Are you coming or not?” She extended her hand out to me. The sound of a familiar Sokovian accent filled my ears. I accepted her hand swiftly, lurching to my feet.

“I want to talk to you about something,” I murmured as we reentered the compound. She glanced over at me, eyebrows slightly raised. “It’s about what we spoke about last week, what Obolensky said, the ballet thing.”

She nodded. “You think he was telling the truth?”

I shrugged. “He wanted to torture me but telling me the truth could be the best way to do that.” The look on Nat’s face was one I knew well, she did not need to say anything, there was an unspoken understanding between us. “It could be a lie to mix my head up, but if it’s not...”

“Okay.” She offered me a gentle smile then. “Let’s look into it. We’ll do it together.” She added, taking my hand slowly.

…

It was strange and almost beautiful the way the tree-dappled landscape transformed into skyscrapers, cars, and light pollution. I missed the city, it’s far too easy to breathe upstate, I longed for the smog. We had spoken to Tony before we left for the city. He said he had a plan, he said he’d work on it while Natasha and I were away, and we’d start operation: Swan Lake when we returned. I did not agree to that name.

The first item on the agenda was lunch, we’d stopped at a little, family-run restaurant that we’d frequented before relocating to the compound. The cheerful voice of Maria, one of the owners called our names as soon as we entered through the front doors. She was an elder woman whose face was lined with life experience, and I liked her quite a lot. Even when she insisted on hugging and kissing me each time, she greeted us. “I cannot believe you have finally come back! My, I think I’ll die and never see my favorite girls again.” She had a thick Italian accent that was immensely comforting to me. A basket of hot bread was placed in the center of our table the very moment we sat. “Oh my, Nadia, you are just devastating! You get more beautiful each time I see you.”

I shook my head at the woman who doted on me. “Oh, you are just trying to butter me up, so I order extra bread.” She laughed, kissing Natasha on the cheek before heading back toward the kitchen.

Everything seemed to move slower here, it was hard to explain, as though the moment you step through the doors into the candlelit restaurant you are transported into a sleepy town in Italy. The velvety music that played over the speakers easily covered the hustle and bustle of the city outside, the smell of basil and tomato lulling you into a serene kind of peacefulness that rids you of any negative thoughts.

We were halfway through lunch when Natasha finally asked me the question, I knew she’d been dying to. “So, I know that you know who is out of bounds for conversation but what about your love life in general?”

“What about it?”

“Well, how is it?”

I narrowed my eyes at her then. “How is yours, Natasha?”

“That’s mean.” I thawed slightly at the look in her eyes.

“Sorry.” A beat of silence passed between us. “How are you doing since… Banner went off the grid?”

She looked down at her plate, rubbing at the back of her neck. “Life goes on. Just getting through it I guess.”

I raised an eyebrow at her. “Is it easier for you to deal with it if you pretend it’s not happening?”

“As if you of all people are giving me crap about avoiding my problems.”

A smile tugged at the corners of my lips. “I see your point.”

“No way, Nadia Pimenova acknowledging defeat?” I rolled my eyes playfully at her words. There was silence for a moment as she fiddled with her cutlery. “It’s like he just… disappeared, dropped off the face of the earth. I know that he needs time to deal with his stuff, I completely get that, but it’s really hard to just stay put knowing that he’s out there somewhere all alone.”

She pushed a lettuce leaf around her plate, resting her head on her hand. I reached across the table, placing my hand adjacent to hers. “He’s going to be fine, Nat, he’ll come back.” She offered me a sheepish smile, unconvincing at best. “And if he doesn’t, we will go find him together.” Her expression shifted then, the look in her eyes was one that I understood, even if it wasn’t one, I could define.

She would stick by my side whilst I navigated the terrifying road that was my past and I would stick by hers whilst she navigated the equally terrifying prospect of the future. The truth was she’d never needed to thank me for keeping her secret when she defected from the Red Room, for me, there had been no other conceivable option but to lie for her. I would never have sold her out, even when she was gone, I would stick by her. She was the first person who’d ever made me feel like I was not alone in the world. I did not blame her for what she did because I understood it. Matron Katerina and all of the other officials would never have been able to get New York out of me, because it was the one thing they could not take, the one thing that was ours to keep.

I took in a deep breath when we were on the street once more. “What are you doing?” Natasha asked.

“This city smells like shit… I missed it so much.”

She laughed wholeheartedly at my sentiment, pulling me along to walk beside her. We ate bagels and drank copious amounts of coffee and walked for hours. I loved every second.

“I feel like I’m going to explode if I even breathe too much,” I whined into my phone.

Anna’s breathy laugh carried over the line. “Nonna Maria’s and bagels will do that to you.”

“When are you coming back to New York?”

“When are you going to come visit me?”

I sighed exasperatedly. “You know how I feel about London,” I responded teasingly. A bark sounded in the background. “Georgie…” I said wistfully causing Anna to laugh at me yet again.

“So, what else is happening in your life outside of the wonderful reunion with Obolensky?”

Nat offered me a cheeky look as she walked past my spot on the hotel couch. I narrowed my eyes at her. “Don’t you dare.” I spoke quietly to her.

I realized my mistake the moment Anna asked me what I was talking about.

“Nothing, Natasha is just being inappropriate.”

“What’s happened that you aren’t telling me?” Natasha’s loud laughter filled the room. I threw a cushion at her head, though she dodged it easily. “Nadia I swear if you don’t tell me now I’m going to come down there and force it out of you.”

I maintained that Natasha was losing her mind.

“You are a filthy little liar, Nads. Tell me!”

“Pietro kissed her,” Natasha said, hiding behind a cupboard, narrowly dodging another cushion to the head.

“идиот,” I shouted at her.

Idiot.

Anna gasped before laughter once again filled the line. “I cannot believe you weren’t going to tell me about that!”

“It was nothing! He is stupid and he should not have done it.”

“But you did kiss him back,” Nat added.

The glare I sent her was nothing short of lethal. “Oh, I so called this!” Anna piped up. “Didn’t I tell you that he was completely obsessed with you?”

“Jesus, it was a mistake, okay?! He should not have kissed me, and I had a momentary lapse in sanity and facilitated it. Why can we not just move on and pretend like it never happened?”

There was silence in the room for a moment. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding him? You’re hoping he’ll what? Forget that you two made out on the balcony?”

“There was no making out! It was one kiss and I’m avoiding him so that he’ll get the message that I am no longer facilitating anything of the sort.”

“That’s a very sound plan.” Sarcasm dripped from each syllable Anna spoke.

Nat whirled on me then, eyes wide with delight. “So, you admit you’re avoiding him!”

I shook my head, opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water. “This conversation is over! I have no interest in Pietro and he has no interest in me it was a heat of the moment decision that should have never happened and will never ever happen again!”

“Are you sure about that?”

I threw the final pillow from the couch at Nat.

“You’ve got a lot of anger in that little body! You know I can think of a really good outlet for that. He’s about 5’11 and brimming with boyish charm, something tells me he’d be more than happy for you to take it out on him.”

A chorus of laughter came from Natasha and Anna then.

“I am getting very sick of the sound of your voices. You are both delusional!” With that I abandoned my phone and the cackling redhead to collect myself in the bathroom. They were wrong, there was nothing between us, I was just overwhelmed it was the heat of the moment. I forced myself to stop thinking about the way his lips had felt, the way his breath had ghosted over my cheek, the look in his eyes. The sound of running water filled the room at I flicked the tap on, splashing the cold liquid onto my face.

Pietro had attempted to speak to me a minimum of 3 times a day since the night on the balcony. I’d done well in avoiding him so far. During training I’d tell him we could talk later and then I would simply find reasons not to be alone with him after. When I wasn’t avoiding him, I did my best to act completely unbothered by his presence, I was not as cold as I had been in the beginning, but I put forth an indifference toward him. I knew I couldn’t keep this up forever and though I told myself that I was just buying time to figure out what to say, I knew it wasn’t true. There was nothing much for me to say to him when I hadn’t the faintest idea what had prompted me to behave that way with him. It was baffling and the only explanation I’d managed to come up with was that I’d briefly been possessed by some demonic spirit who wanted to wreak havoc on my life. I suppose, truthfully, I was just hoping he’d forget about it before I actually had to face my moment of catastrophically poor judgement.

“Nads…”

“What,” I muttered into the darkness of the room.

A slight snort sounded. “Okay, grumpy.” There was silence for a long moment, the air shifted slightly, prompting me to bite back my next retort. “Do you ever feel like… I don’t know like a nonentity?”

“It is 1 a.m., Natasha.”

“I know, sorry. I’ve just been thinking a lot about the Red Room lately, I guess. It’s strange.” Her deep exhale was almost shaky. “When you first got out, I mean, did you feel like it was hard to rejoin normal life?”

Her question had me thinking back to that time, examining it for the first time in a long time. “There was no normal life for me… for a long time it didn’t really feel like there was even a me, not one that existed without the Red Room.”

“Right! I just feel like the second you’re out you're expected to assimilate, to be just like everyone else but I didn’t know how to do that. I’m not sure if I even do now, or if I’ve just become really good at faking it.”

“It’s been almost 10 years since I got out and there are times… so many times, when I look at other people and I’m not sure I’m ever going to be like that.” A heavy swallow allowed me to continue. “I don’t know who I was before it, it’s not easy to function like a normal human when the formative years you recall were spent learning ways to die most people couldn’t dream of.” 

Natasha was silenced momentarily by this. “I’m sorry if I’ve pushed you with the whole Pietro thing. I know it’s hard… believe me, I know.” I glanced toward her, unable to make out her face in the darkness. “What was done to us was monstrous. What was done to you… I only want you to be happy, I hate that you can’t let yourself be because of it.”

“I’m fine, Nat. Really.” I closed my eyes tightly for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I always am.”

“Because you’re a survivor.”

I rolled over, looking toward her bed. “I learned from the best.”

“It’s your choice, obviously, and you know I’ll have your back no matter what you decide, but I really don’t understand why you want to know whether what Obolensky said is true or not. I spend most of my time actively trying to forget the things that went on.”

It was complex. “What they did was monstrous… they took everything from us… maybe it will not be a pleasant memory, maybe there is nothing to remember, but I want to remember, I need to, Nat. This cannot be just another part of me that I do not get to hold on to.”

The room was lit only by the dim glow of streetlights I could hear the faint sound of traffic below us, petering out slightly at this time of night.

In that moment, everything felt just alright. Somehow, it was perfect.

…

My palms were sweating profusely as I sat in the chair, glancing at Natasha over my shoulder. “Still doing okay?” She asked. I nodded at her, closing my eyes for a moment as the headphones were places over my ears. The screen opened, a girl in covered in white tulle slipped onto the stage, moving stiffly to the classical music that echoed through my headphone. She was beautiful, graceful in a way that made it hard to look away, yet as I watched her, I felt nothing. No memories were sparked, there was nothing. It was the same time after time, for hours I sat and I watched, ballerina after ballerina danced across the stage and yet nothing changed for me. Hours passed me by while I sat there staring blankly at the screen as nothing occurred within my mind. Natasha stayed with me the whole time. At some point she placed a glass of water before me, yet I just continued to watch, never taking my eyes from the screen.

I was furious, how could I let him get to me like this, after all these years. Obolensky was just trying to torment me, and I’d let him. Rage simmered through my veins. I closed my eyes tightly, willing it to settle. Natasha had gone to find dinner some time ago now. I attempted to practice the techniques they used to tell us about in group, focus on one thing, breath into your belly. It didn’t work, I launched the now empty water glass at the wall, pacing back and forth. It was only when I felt the sharp slice of glass across my foot that I stopped. Glancing down, I saw blood smeared across the shards, crimson dripping coating my flesh. I took my seat once more, beginning to pick the smaller fragments from the ball of my foot. Bloody footprints followed me across the shiny floors as I wandered toward the med bay in search of a bandage. When I spotted a roll, I grabbed it and took it back to the room I’d been in, beginning to wrap my foot as one of the ballets came to an end.

I rested my head in my hands, closing my eyes again. That’s how I was positioned when the music began, it was beautiful, but it wasn’t the first time I’d heard it. I felt the sound travel across my shoulders, up my neck, and then back down again, along my spine inducing a shiver.

 ‘Corps de ballet of the State Academic Bolshoi Theatre presents Giselle.’

Those were the words I saw written across the screen when my eyes opened.

There were flashes of red and blue, white and tulle, over and over.

My back was pressed flush to cold metal. I could not move my head or my arms, my legs might have been numb, or maybe they were no longer there. I wasn’t sure. The music had filled my ears for so long that it seemed to have become a part of me, I could not remember where it ended and I began, had it played all my life; perhaps.

There was a ringing sound in my ears.

Giselle was on the stage then. The man she loved was engaged to another, he had lied to her and now she was dead. Then she wasn’t, she came back an apparition, cursed to dance with wanderers until the exhaustion took them to the grave. I thought the girl looked young and she was so sad.

When I blinked, I was back in the compound, my hands were in fists, fingernails digging into the flesh of my palms. My heart was thrumming against my sternum and every muscle in my body was strung tightly. I swallowed heavily, blinking and once again I was transported. Gasping breaths, and cries, that was what filled my ears then, but it was only for a second before it was gone. With a blink there was a man before me tightening binds over my body, placing something over my eyes, another blink and it was gone.

“Nadia?”

I yanked against my binds. The room was white, I think but really, I couldn’t remember. The straps were chaffing against my wrists from how much I’d pulled at them.

“Nadia.”

Again, and again my name was called but I couldn’t tell from where it originated. I gritted my teeth, squaring my shoulders and shutting my eyes, attempting to ground myself; to return to my body. The music was still playing, though it was almost as if I were listening to it underwater. A group of dancers entered the darkened stage, each wearing long white dresses. The man was back, he bent down and peered at me through large, black-framed glasses. I did not recognize him, nor did I recognize this place, this was not the Red Room. I’d never been here before, yet here I was now. The man was speaking, I could hear his voice, but I did not know what he was saying. It was all garbled and muddled. I couldn’t move any part of my body, strapped so tightly to the metal beneath me. I thought there might be tears in my eyes then.

My name was called again. I strained, attempting to find the voice, to come back. The bespectacled man leaned in again, reaching out toward me, a shining needle in his hand. I flinched away from it, but he took ahold of my face. The gentle touch confused me, but when I opened my eyes again, I understood. I was back in the compound, chest rising and falling rapidly, my arms were pressed to the chair, but I was not bound. My eyes danced across the man before me, dark hair and matching eyes.

“Just breathe.”

I was gone again then, but not to the table where I had been bound. I was on the street. There were buildings and some trees planted around the sidewalk. Brick apartment complexes and fire escape lined walls. New York? The breeze tousled my hair slightly, but it barely moved, when I looked down, I saw… plaits, hanging from either side of my head. The sun kissed my cheeks, peeking through the leaves of trees, seeking me out. A voice called down the street, but I did not understand what the person had said. When I looked up, I only saw his back. A young boy walked ahead of me, he wore a dark red backpack with a little key ring hanging from the zip, I couldn’t make it out. I began forward, attempting to catch up with the boy, I reached out toward him when I was less than a pace away, my hand almost making contact with his bag when a voice cut echoed through my mind.

“Nadia, are you still with me?” Tony asked, I could feel the warmth of his hands over my wrists, willing me to come back.

I did. My head was spinning, and I felt unwell. I blinked a few times, but I stayed put, my mind seemingly tethering itself back to my body. Looking around the room I found it the same as it had been before, glass still shattered on the floor. I met Tony’s eyes. Just past him stood Natasha in the doorway with an exceptionally concerned expression.

“He wasn’t lying.” When I spoke, my voice did not sound like me, shaky and wrecked.

For the first time in days, I was in a rush to go train. Natasha and Tony followed behind me with concerned expressions, saying that they wanted to debrief first, they wanted to know what I’d seen. I didn’t really know how to tell them when truthfully, I did not really understand what I’d seen. A jumble of moments that seem completely disjointed and entirely unfamiliar to me. I wanted out of the stuffy room, I needed to move my body, to hit something; to feel something other than the trembling, cold that burrowed into my bones when I thought about the man in the glasses.

After an icy shower, I was straight into the gym, gesturing for Pietro to follow. “We’re sparring,” I said before he had a chance to speak, my tone leaving no room for argument.

I dodged the jab he threw at me, slipping beneath his arm to move behind him, giving him a few slight pointers as we sparred but offering nothing beyond that. There were no taunting remarks from me or mildly flirtatious commentaries from him, it was making my skin crawl, this strange dynamic that we’d fallen into. Particularly now when all I wanted was to focus on something other than the jarring images I’d just endured.

I stretched my arms above my head, cracking my neck before we moved to the punching bag. With a gesture, I told him to begin. His jaw was tense as he began, his stance was perfect as were each of his punches. I wandered around the bag, my eyes trailing over his form. Then he changed his pattern, sending a kick to the bag… with his foot. He sent a glance my way then, eyebrows raised slightly. “Shin, remember how I showed you,” I muttered, attempting to keep my voice nonchalant.

“That’s it!” He exclaimed suddenly, throwing his hands in the air. “I can take no more of this.” I watched him with furrowed eyebrows, not entirely surprised by his outburst and, frankly, feeling slightly relieved at the forced shift in my focus. “How can I make it better? Just tell me what to do to fix things, Nadia.”

I asked him what he meant.

“I preferred it when you acted like you hated me because at least I understood what you were feeling.” He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the roots. “What did I do wrong here?”

A heavy, sickly feeling pooled in my stomach. The same one that had filled me on the balcony when the hurt had flashed across his expression. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” A little truth, I supposed I owed him that much. “You did nothing wrong, Pietro.”

“We cannot continue like this. I won’t.”  He said, crossing his arms over his chest, he took a step toward me.

“Let’s just forget it ever happened.”

His eyes met mine then, an unreadable expression on his face. “That’s what you want?”

I nodded, once, firm. “I will be your friend, and we will forget about all the other stuff.”

“Friends?”

I nodded again. He mirrored my action, wringing his hands together slightly. “Oh, and don’t ever kick with your fucking foot again.”

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 13. Magic carpet ride

Previous chapter

Masterlist

I've had an overwhelming amount of love on this story lately which is so lovely to see! Nadia means a lot to me so I'm eternally grateful that she has been received with such love <3

This chapter includes a large milestone in Pietro and Nadia's relationship.

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: Canon-typical violence, big sister Natasha, PTSD and trauma, Nadia totally isn't in denial, arguing with flirtatious overtones.

“You and Speedy did well in Moscow.” Tony’s voice filled my ears the moment I entered the kitchen, he was engrossed in something on his tablet, only glancing up momentarily.

I shrugged. “I always do well.” Pietro’s snort filled the room as he sat beside Steve at the island. I narrowed my eyes at him. He offered me a cheeky smirk and stretched his arms above his head, cracking his joints as he did so. The muscles in his biceps rippled as he moved, his shirt tightening across the expanse of his back. I gulped down the green juice that was in my hand, averting my gaze the second his head turned in my direction.

“Good morning, friends,” Nat spoke beelining for the fridge and offering me a little smirk as she went. I rolled my eyes at her. She’d been giving me those looks anytime Pietro, and I were in a room together since we arrived back at the compound a week ago. I was choosing to face what had occurred, or almost occurred, in Moscow the way I faced anything that made me uncomfortable… by completely avoiding and ignoring it. Unfortunately for me, Natasha wasn’t the only constant reminder that followed me around, there was this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that refused to go away, combined with a brain fog that stuck to my side like Pietro Maximoff.

“I’m thinking the theme should be 60s.” Tony suddenly said, still looking down at his tablet.

Nat gasped and clapped her hands together. “God, I love a themed party.”

“Is that when you were born?” I asked Tony teasingly.

“Excuse you?”

I shrugged, finishing my juice in a large gulp. “Well, it is your birthday party.”

“First of all, I was born in the 70s smart ass how old do you think I am? Second, I am touched that you actually remembered my birthday.”

“I was born in 1920!” Steve spoke glancing at the dark-haired man with raised eyebrows.

My laughter chorused with someone else’s and the moment I noticed it was Pietro’s I abruptly stopped, forcing the smile to drop from my face.

Natasha giggled to herself as Pietro shot me a disbelieving look. “Come on, Nads, I need your help finding an outfit for the party.” She wandered out of the room, gesturing me to follow. I fought to ignore the gaze that burnt into my back as I walked out behind her.

…

I dragged my hand over the array of brightly colored fabrics hanging off of the rack. Nat had dragged me along to a vintage store in the city in search of a ‘swinging sixties’ appropriate outfit.

“So… when are you going to address the elephant that seems to hang out in every room you share with a certain Sokovian.” A groan fell from my lips, and I attempted to walk ahead of her. “I’m not letting this go!” She called after me.

“There is no elephant, Natasha.”

She hummed. “Right, but you no longer loathe him with all the fire of a thousand suns?”

“You asked me to try! You and Steve practically scolded me for not being the president of his fan club. Remember the whole sparring partners, mission partners, never giving Nadia a break from Pietro Maximoff’s insufferable ass, thing.”

Her giggles filled my ears. “You are so ridiculous.”

I shot her a look of indignation, coming to an abrupt halt before her. “I am ridiculous?! Have you met that idiot?” I ran a hand through my hair. “He is insolent and stubborn-”

“Nadia, you are the most stubborn person I have met in my entire life.”

Her words incensed me further. “I am not stubborn, I…” Natasha’s smug look cut me off. I huffed and turned back toward the clothing rack.

“Argue it all you want but Steve and I were right to put you two together. Look at how far you’ve both come, as much as you claim to hate his guts, you work well together. You just completed a mission that was way more complex than projected and look at how much Pietro’s combat skills have improved after the months you’ve been training him.” I shook my head at her, not dignifying her with a response. For a long moment, neither of us spoke, but Nat continued to watch me. “They didn’t teach us how to love… I know that. They taught us to manipulate, to lie, to kill, but never how to feel anything really worth feeling.” I did not look at her; couldn’t. “And yet, despite everything you have loved, and you have shown love to people… maybe not in particularly conventional ways but fuck convention… you still have.”

I told her I didn’t know what she meant.

“Nadia.” Her eyes were glassy when I looked up, lines with a stream of liquid that glimmered under the lights. “Do you really think I don’t know what they would have done to you?” I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and looked away yet again. “I know that it cost you, to keep my secret.”

My body was trembling violently, my upper half folded over my legs. I pressed my fingertips into the flesh of my calves, to remind myself I was still alive. Was it my birthday yet? Natasha had snuck a gift into my room before she left, a postcard.

‘Wish you were here’ printed over an illustration of what I believed to be New York City. A single word was inscribed in her handwriting on the other side.

‘Свобода.’

Freedom.

I’d shredded it into tiny, minuscule pieces the moment I’d read it, destroying any trace of the note. It hadn’t mattered much. Natasha and I were extremely close, and familial. If she were to tell anyone where she was going, it would have been me.

The torture started on a Thursday, I no longer knew what day it was, only that the weekend had come and gone.

“It ends whenever you want it to, Nadia.”

The sharp, glacial spray of high-pressure ice water rained down over my bare back, causing me to cry out. I was still small, but I’d endured torture before, not like this though. I wondered how much longer my body would hold on, my flesh had become so numb that I barely even felt the hits anymore, the ice water was the only thing that elicited any response at this point. I watched as my blood pooled with the water, dripping from my mouth and nose and God knows where else, swirling down the drain. A rough hand grabbed my chin, yanking my head up, Matron Katerina. Her thin, spindly fingers dug into my pale flesh. I had become too weak to hold my head up on my own.

“I don’t know,” I swore to her. “I am not a traitor.  If I knew where she was, I’d kill her myself.”

We’d talked about New York a lot. It became almost a figment of our imagination, a magical place where anything was possible, a place where we’d be safe.

“Freedom,” I murmured.

The tears streamed down her cheeks, but she wiped at them quickly, taking a deep breath. “You were so little, Nadia, you were so small, and still you protected me… You are not this heartless entity that doesn’t feel things just as strongly as the rest of us. I just wish that when you did, you’d let yourself.”

I picked a mini skirt off of the rack, examining it in silence for a moment. “You saw him die?” I tilted my head in her direction. Her silence prompted me to clarify. “Dreykov, you saw him die when you destroyed the Red Room.” 

“He’s dead, Nads.”

“Are you sure?” She furrowed her eyebrows at me, and I placed the skirt back. “At the factory, Obolensky said something to me. He said that the drug samples were going to the ‘next batch of girls'.”

Natasha shook her head, taking a step toward me and placing a gentle, tentative hand on my shoulder. “It’s gone. For good. Obolensky always played mind games, it’s his forte. He’s just trying to live in your head, don’t let him.”

I nodded slowly. She was right, Obolensky's main objective in the Red Room was to teach the widows how to use psychological warfare to obtain information; manipulation was his specialty. It was not out of character for him to lie just to have us living on edge, he’d said he wanted to make me suffer, how better to achieve that than to put in my head that it was still happening? No. I was sure Natasha was right. I attempted to swallow down the uneasy feeling that sat within me.

“This is cute,” Nat said, fiddling with the hem of a dress,

“Have you ever watched the ballet?”

Natasha offered me another incredulous look. “They made us dance it, not watch it. I don’t remember ever seeing ballet performed by someone other than us.”

I nodded, fiddling with my fingers. “I know, that’s what I thought… It’s just something else Obolensky said. I probably just need to get a decent night’s sleep.” I shook my head, running my fingers through my hair once more and taking a deep, settling breath. My nerves were still shot from Moscow and the reunion with Obolensky. I grabbed a lime green mini dress from the rack, holding it up in front of Natasha. “I want this one.” She grinned, nodding approvingly at my choice.

…

“Faster.”

His heavy breathing filled my ears. “I’m trying.”

“Not hard enough.” I adjusted the wraps on my hands before returning to my defensive position in front of Pietro. “Again.” He threw two more jabs which I easily dodged, narrowing my eyes at him. I continued to taunt him as we sparred.

“Can you please be a little nicer to me?”

I rolled my eyes. “Your punches are much better, and your stance is perfect. Now work harder.”

Pietro’s scowl turned into a beaming smile. “Thank you, I’ve been practicing.” I chose not to respond. We still had not addressed that day in Moscow, I was content with leaving it that way. Though, I was hoping at some point the bizarre tension between us would dissolve. “Are you excited for Stark’s party?”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “What is this? Chit chat?”

“We’re friends, is that not what friends do?”

A choked laugh fell from my lips. “Since when are we friends?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten our bonding moment in Moscow?” It was as if he could read my mind and pick out the most irritating things to bring up. I narrowed my eyes at his reference to that day. Of course, I remembered. The warmth of his hands on my cheeks, his breath ghosting over my lips, the look in his eyes. I swallowed heavily and the corners of his lips upturned into a look so dangerous it had my heart racing. “I just mean you finally admitting you don’t actually hate me.”

“Not completely loathing you is not the same as being your friend.” I hoped it served as a shift in conversation tone, attempting to ignore the flush that crept up my neck.

His smile only grew, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “I think we’re friends.”

“I’m sure you do.”

The air was so thick between us it felt almost impossible to inhale. He raised his eyebrows teasingly and what he did next was infuriating in every way. His eyes moved ever so slowly down to my lips and his tongue peaked out, wetting his own, before his eyes met mine again. He squinted at me for a second, daring, taunting. “Are you bringing someone?”

My teeth were gritted as I willed my heart to slow. When would I have had time to even speak to someone else? I shrugged. “I haven’t decided, but when I do you will be the very first to know.”

The look in his eyes changed, a smirk sat casually on his lips, but his eyes seemed different to me then. “Maybe I should bring someone special.” This game was different, one we’d yet to play. I wasn’t sure if I liked it.

“Maybe you should.”

His teeth were revealed to me as his grin opened his mouth. When Obolensky smiled with his teeth it uneased me, yet it was different when it was Pietro. An entirely different feeling rose along my spine, curving over my flesh. “Did you and Natasha get your outfits?” I hummed. “Will you show me yours?” No matter how much I attempted to fight it, to set my face with a scowl, it was useless. My lips upturned and an amused smile spread across my face.

“Can we spar now or are you going to keep talking?” I crossed my arms over my chest and popped my hip out, continuing to fight my budding grin.

“We can do whatever you want, Prinţesă.”

I rolled my eyes for what felt like the hundredth time. “Focus, Pietro.”

“Oh, I’m focused.”

As much as I attempted to ignore his incessant teasing my body seemed to have other ideas. I hated that it was so easy for him to get a reaction out of me. Generally, it was frustration but there were times, most times, when the frustration almost seemed to act more as a mask to something much more complex. I chose to ignore it, clinging to my anger instead. Anger was simple, it came easily to me.

By the time I was pulling the white Gogo boots onto my legs, my body felt like a live wire. I was on edge, awaiting his looks, his words; their undertones. As I wandered into the party, I smoothed a hand over the satin ribbon that sat just before the bump in my hair. People were strewn all over the place, sipping their drinks and filling the area with sound. I accepted a glass of bubbling wine from a tray carried by a man in a black vest, tucking the wrapped package beneath my arm. The sound of Steppenwolf played through the speaker system, traveling along the corridors. On the last step my eyes clapped on him, it drove me crazy how easy it was for me to spot him. He was wearing a plaid three-piece suit, dark green. Our eyes met and a smile tugged at his lips. Warmth rose along the path his eyes took over my body, lips to feet. My heart thrummed against my sternum and much to my chagrin I felt the corners of my lips pulling upward.

“Stop it right now!”

A glance over my shoulder revealed Natasha and Maria Hill staring at me, the former with wide eyes. “What?” I followed their eyes over my body, giving them both a bemused look.

“The way you look should be illegal. Seriously, I’m questioning a lot of things right now.” Agent Hill spoke up.  

I rolled my eyes at the two women, doing a silly little spin for them before shrugging. The three of us laughed and fell into an easy rhythm, conversing about life since Sokovia. I’d always liked Maria, she was… real, I didn’t trust her with all of my secrets, but I wasn’t completely weary of her either. We’d worked together in the field a lot when I was an agent at S.H.I.E.L.D. We’d been a great team; I was glad that she’d stuck around.

“I’m sorry, are we just ignoring that Pietro has barely taken his eyes off of you in the last hour?” Natasha suddenly spoke, an exasperated expression evident on her features. Maria choked on her drink but quickly covered her laugh with a cough when I turned my harsh gaze to her. I glanced over my shoulder at the offending silver-haired man. He offered me a sly smile when our eyes met, excusing himself from Steve and Wanda to approach me. When I turned back around, I caught sight of Tony over Maria’s shoulder. I ignored the look Natasha gave me, shifting swiftly and walking past her.

Tony was talking to Rhoadey when I approached, the latter appearing thoroughly irritated with his good friend. “Happy birthday.” I spoke when Tony spotted me, I quickly shoved the package into his hands. My eyes darted around as he unwrapped it, attempting to seem nonchalant irrespective of the nerves that clawed at me. “It’s just something small, what does one even give a bazillionaire anyway?” I rambled.  He was silent as he flipped through the book, each page printed with an image. One, a picture I’d taken of a wall where someone had spray painted a thank you note, another of Tony messing around with his suits, the caption reading ‘always tinkering’. I’d had to collect images from Pepper, Rhoadey, and the rest of the team to make it. “I don’t know if it’s stupid. Maybe it is.” I watched intently as he reached the final page, an image of the team sitting in the old Avengers tower out of our suits, drinks in hand; calm. The caption beneath read ‘a strange, dysfunctional, irritating family. A family nonetheless.’ I wrung my hands together, looking anywhere but at him as he lifted his gaze.

“It’s not stupid, Nadia.” Finally, I met his eyes. “Not at all.” The look in his eyes said a lot more than any words he could have spoken. I preferred it this way, unspoken, mutually acknowledged.

“Happy birthday,” I repeated.

He smiled at me then and it caused something deep within me to shift.

Stars shining bright above you.

It was the boy at the dinner table across from me, the one who spilled the water all over the table, he was there again. Or a flash of him was anyway, just for a split second, and then he was Tony again. I clutched my head.

Dream a little dream of me.

“Why do you keep playing this song?”

He furrowed his eyebrows at me. “What do you mean?”

“Dream a little dream of me. What is this song from?”

Tony seemed utterly baffled by my question, but there was something else in his eyes, something small and pained; something personal. “I don’t know, it’s a good song. What is your deal? You freaked out in the tower when it played too. Why do you hate it so much?”

I shook my head, blinking rapidly, feeling slightly disoriented. Tony said my name, but I turned away from him quickly, mumbling an excuse as I began to leave his side. Pietro filled my line of sight prompting me to change paths once again. My head was spinning slightly. Everything was suddenly too much, too loud, too close, I needed to be out of this room. A breeze wrapped around me and before I knew it, I was deposited on a balcony in the fresh air. I whirled around to see Pietro watching me, concern evident across his features. The music was much quieter out here and the song had changed. I could breathe again.

The Sokovian man wandered past me, leaning his forearms over the railing, and inhaling deeply. His broad back flattened the fabric of his suit, it was hard to tear my eyes away. The moonlight gleamed around his body, illuminating him.

“I did not need your help…”

“No, you never do.”

I fiddled with the flared sleeves of my dress. “Thank you.”

“Why are you avoiding me?” He continued staring out at the inky black sky as he spoke.

“I’m not.” He let out a theatrical puff of air, glancing at me over his shoulder with furrowed eyebrows. My eyes closed for a moment, a sigh falling from me. “Why would you even care if I was avoiding you? I thought you were going to bring someone special?”  Pietro shot me an unimpressed look over his shoulder, though, I saw the way his lips upturned.

“Well, it’s not like you would have noticed either way.”

I ignored his words. “Couldn’t you find someone willing to deal with you for a night?”

“You seem to ‘deal’ with me just fine.”

“That’s different, we work together. I don’t have a choice.” Was my quick response. I paused for a moment before adding anything else. “I suppose what I meant to say is were you not able to find someone, other than me, to put up with you.”

“Well, therein lies the problem… I’m not sure I want to.” I opened my mouth to respond and then closed it again after a few seconds of floundering. I was sure my brain must have short-circuited. Words meet mouth, why could I not say anything? No witty retort or shielding taunt became apparent as I stared at him, lips parting slightly as he took a step toward me. “Are you okay?” He murmured gently; he was so soft with me. It was unfamiliar and frankly a little frightening. I wanted to say something, I wanted to speak tohim. My lips formed his name. It was almost as if it acted as a beckon to him as he took another step toward me the second it left me. He repeated his question.

I nodded twice, watching him carefully. “I’m fine.” 

“You usually say that when you’re not.” 

“I am. It’s just that-” I stopped myself short realizing I was about to tell him the truth. The words had come so easily I’d nearly let them flow right out. 

“Just that what?” 

I shook my head, pressing my fingers to the flesh of my forehead. “Nothing.” 

“Don’t do that.” 

I raised an eyebrow at him, fixing him with an icy glare. “Do what?”

“Nadia.” Another step forward, I was the one who moved I realized. The air between us was electric; dangerous. “Stop acting like you don’t feel anything.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I glared up at him, attempting to appear completely unaffected. “Is that how I’m acting? I was not aware you held so much insight into the inner workings of my brain.” His jaw clenched. There was something in his eyes then, something unrecognizable but somehow it thawed my attitude slightly. “I don’t know… It just… There are these strange things that come to me sometimes. It’s like I’m looking in on someone else’s life through a window. I don’t understand it and that frightens me.” The vulnerability rife in my statement made my stomach churn, sweat beading on the back of my neck despite the cool breeze dancing across my flesh.

He took another step toward me. “It’s okay to be frightened, Nadia.”

I shook my head. “Stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Saying my name like that.” My feet brought me another step forward without my permission. “Stop looking at me like that. Stop being so…understanding.”

The warmth radiated off of Pietro, settling into my skin. I wondered if he was always this warm, maybe it was something to do with his enhancements. Even in Moscow, he’d surrounded me with heat each time our bodies made contact. “Why?” He murmured. “Am I making it hard to keep pretending?”

“I don’t like the way it makes me feel.”

“How does it make you feel?”

“Pietro.” It was soft, reminiscent of that night in Moscow in the dim glow of moonlight when I’d woken him from his nightmare. I didn’t know how to answer him, not without revealing too much of myself. I told myself that I didn’t have an answer but even I knew that was a lie. I wondered if perhaps I was simply not built for these kinds of feelings and that’s why it made me feel so strange. The sound of his name filling the small space between us had him taking another step toward me; fully entering my space now. His hand rose slowly, hovering between us, awaiting my permission. I met his eyes, icy blue, beautiful. I nodded gently. He closed the distance, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear before caressing the spot just below my eye with his thumb.

His words drifted across my skin causing my eyelids to flutter closed. “I’m glad you did not show me your outfit the other day. It was worth the wait.” My head seemed to instinctually tilt toward the sound of his voice. “Do you like my suit?” Our eyes met and it became apparent that all it would take is one more tilt of my head and his lips would drag over mine. “Tell me.” He whispered when I remained silent.

I nodded gently, gazing up at him. “I do.” His lips curved up.

“What do you like about it?”

“You’re pushing it, Maximoff.” He breathed a laugh, eyes flicking downwards momentarily. I felt like I could barely breathe when he looked at me. “You look good, is that what you want me to say?”

It was his turn to nod.

“You drive me insane; you know that.”

“I drive you insane. What do you think you do you me?” His hand slipped from my cheek down to my jaw. “I wanted to kiss you in Moscow. You know that right?” His gaze was intense, unwavering and I felt like I was melting beneath his touch. “I’ve thought about it every night since. It’s like I’m losing my mind, every second that you stay away is pure torture.”

“I don’t want to torture you, Pietro.”

His lips tugged upward and when his nose grazed mine, I was sure I stopped breathing for a moment. Before I knew what I was doing, I felt my face tilt upwards slightly, leaning more into him. “So don’t.” Every rational thought slipped from my mind, and for a moment, the only thing that existed was him. His lips were soft like I thought they’d be, and extremely adept. Soft, and sweet. The kiss was gentle, and I knew from the moment his lips touched mine that I never wanted it to end.

He overtook every one of my senses. All I could smell, taste, and feel was him, and for some strange reason, his touch seemed to free me. We were so close that I could no longer tell where he ended, and I began. I supposed it didn’t matter, not when he was kissing me like I was the stars and the moon and the cosmos and nothing else had ever mattered. Even when our lips separated, I was still so engrossed in him that I could not open my eyes. We breathed into each other, foreheads resting together. For a long while it was just this moment until it wasn’t.

“I knew you were hot for me.” It was silly and not at all facetious, yet the sound of his voice pulled me from my reverie. It was as if a bucket of cold water was dumped over me and all of the sudden the moment was gone, and Pietro was too close. I lurched away from him, attempting to breathe evenly again. I couldn’t believe I’d been so weak, and let go so easily. It was pathetic and I hated myself. I don’t get to have this; this isn’t what I want. That’s what I told myself. “Are you okay?”

“This was a mistake…” My head was spinning.

Pietro’s face fell as he watched me and the look, he gave me then made everything so much worse. My eyes were stinging, and I resented the feeling that seared through my body. “What? No, Nadia, it was just a stupid joke, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

I shook my head, turning to the door that would lead me back inside, away from him. “It’s not what you said, it’s fine just forget it.” He grabbed my forearm to stop me from leaving, it was gentle, always gentle. “Don’t…” I couldn’t look at him as I said it.

“Don’t what? I don’t understand what happened, did I do something wrong?”

The stream of liquid that ran down my cheek enraged me. I shook my head firmly at him, slipping my arm from him and turning away fully. “Just let it go, Pietro. Let me go.”

“Nadia… look at me.”

I didn’t. Instead, I pushed through the balcony doors and re-entered the bustling party. Slipping through the crowd was easy, I’d been trained to move unseen, swift, and silent. The moment I pushed through the main door leading out of the party I let myself sink into the wall, leaning my head back and taking a deep breath. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and shook my head as if to clear my overwhelmed mind. My body trembled and I felt sick to my stomach. Not because of the touch that still lingered on my flesh, but because of the look Pietro had set me with before I left. It was burned into the back of my eyelids. My heart thumped against my sternum. Why didn’t I walk away from him the moment he moved toward me? Why did I tell him the truth? I could have lied, deflected with cold indifference, and have been free of this. I let him bait me, let him lure me into his kindness, into his unabashed truthfulness, and lost control of myself. The worst part is that I knew where it would end if I played along, and I did it anyway. It was as if I’d wanted to end up there. I shook my head again, running a hand through my hair and letting my eyes fall shut.

My peace did not last long, a voice echoed down the hall. “How are you doing?” I glanced toward the sound, it was Rhoadey, but I could not see him.

Another familiar voice piped up in response. “Oh, just superb! You know me, it’s always a party here.” Tony. They must have been around the corner.

It became abundantly clear to me that this was a conversation I was not meant to overhear as Rhoadey continued. “I know it’s harder on days like this… to feel like something’s missing. Like someone, who is supposed to be here, who should have been here isn’t.” I furrowed my eyebrows at the words.

“Let’s not do this whole thing, Rhoadey. Really, I’m fine.”

“I’d be worried if you were fine man. There’s no shame in feeling it.” A loud sigh echoed off the walls. “I’m not going to tell you how to grieve, Tony.”

“Oh, great thanks.” Was the man’s sarcastic reply.

I could almost picture Rhoadey’s exasperated expression. “However-” a jumble of profanities cut him off momentarily. “I am going to tell you not to act like you’re not feeling anything. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, but you cannot just pretend it never happened. You can’t deal with it by forgetting or compartmentalizing, you have to talk about her.”

“Don’t.” I’d never heard Tony sound like that, there was a sternness to his tone, a sharp, demanding edge that left no room for argument. “I did not ask to have some deep and meaningful with you about this, James. We are not talking about her, not ever, so stop riding my ass about healthy grieving or whatever the hell and drop it!” Rhoadey attempted to protest but Tony spoke up again, cutting him off.  “It’s all good, just have another drink, Rhoades.” He was back to his normal, nonchalant demeanor but there was an undertone in his voice that gave away that it was not all good.

Silence filled the hall once more, I decided to leave, not wanting to intrude any further on this evidently private conversation.