mimikeaton

[mimikeaton]

I'm such a good hypnosub, I can drop like that

*snaps my fingers*

*falls flat on my face*

[mimikeaton]

I love getting advertisements for AI products that exploit the viewers anxieties as a selling point in the middle of watching a video about a person who went mad and died because of them using AI

No, I don't think I'll be plucking the cursed, whispering amulet off of a corpse that starved to death huddled in the corner of a room full of food today, thank you.

[mimikeaton]

I have decided their names are (top to bottom) are Toast, Fondant, Porridge, Creme-brulee and Scone

A magical berry vine that is irresistible to bunnies

[mimikeaton]

I keep thinking about a lop bunny girl who ties her fluffy ears together on top of her head like a messy bun when she does housework and idk. It's weirdly gender.

[mimikeaton]

Shit man, this engineering company is fucked. I just saw a guy send an email titled "small client request" or some similar shit, and every one around him started crying, skipped lunch and cancelled their annual leave. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is just drawing technical documents and requesting red pen clarifications over teams. I think I just heard "new AI time management tool" two departments over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[mimikeaton]

Im taking the polycule on a day out. Currently wondering how badly I'll have to trigger the littles so that we can get the two adults/two children family discount.

Economy is rough rn

[mimikeaton]

Jerking off a trans fem who won't stop wildly bucking into your hand feels exactly like the fishing minigame in Stardew Valley and I can't be the only one to have noticed this.

[mimikeaton]

"what's your favourite colour?" Pheh. Amateurish. Useless. Basic.

What's your favourite texture? Your preferred viscosity of slime? Length of sunset? Do you like morning hangovers or do you prefer the catharsis of laying awake shivering nude on your bathroom floor all night retching bile into a toilet whilst holding your mistakes in both hands like a blade your about to run yourself through with because you will never apologise for living? Oreos or chocolate chip?

All great alternatives

[mimikeaton]

Ever since I woke up from my orchidectomy, I've been thinking really hard about whispering dissenting thoughts into the ears of others. I'm sure it's nothing, and such thoughts would've crossed their mind eventually.

I'm just helping them out.

...for the good of the realm.

[mimikeaton]

I LIVED!

Hey tumblr, I'm getting my balls cut off today. Wish me luck!

[mimikeaton]

Hey tumblr, I'm getting my balls cut off today. Wish me luck!

[mimikeaton]

Look, bub.

If you don't have the stones to go to town on a woman's armpit like you're eating the best damn pussy of your entire life, then you're on your own.

[mimikeaton]

You know what everyone? I'm starting to think the real torment nexus was the social media algorithms we made along the way <3

[mimikeaton]

Rip to all everyone who choose class C cuddles and were domesticated for their hubris. But I'm different. And stronger. Maybe, even stronger than class C cuddles...

Alright, time for my mandatory Wellness Check, sigh...let’s get this over with.

The door opens 

"You’re late, you know the deal. You can do the Class-A cuddles for another day of independence, or you can attempt the Class-C cuddles for three."

Here in Affini Civiliz-...Compact, no one chooses to Class-C for independence. It’s better to be safe and do the Class-A cuddles for one day, rather than risk your entire life for just a few days more. "I...feojnbgofommmmmmrrrmph. O-okay, I did it, Miss."

"Good flower~. Now tomorrow, you better not be late, or you’ll be getting both as punishment."

"Yes Miss, sorry, I won’t be late next time."

In here, us independents only get drugged up cuddles once a day. One five minute cuddle is just enough to get you to the next day. But that’s the life in the Affini Compact. If you want to survive, you have to cuddle. Every Independent Noob has the same goal, and that’s to make an escape from the Compact where all the Free Terran Pros live, except most Free Terran Pros are born out in the wild.

If you’re an Independent Noob, there’s only one way out, and that is through the Temple of Cuddles. The Temple of Cuddles is the only structure in the ship that gives sophonts a ship to leave. To make it up, you have to do an impossibly hard drugged cuddle session that no Independent Noob has ever completed, and that's assuming you even get the chance to complete the course. The inside of the temple is protected by a barrier, and the only way an Independent Noob gets past the barrier is if they’ve earned a ticket. I’ve never even tried getting a ticket before, but if I’m going to rank up to a Free Terran Pro one day, I’m going to have to.

In my neighborhood, pretty much everyone has fallen into hedonism and florted, except for the guy who lives right next to me. He’s been my neighbor for five years! 

neighbor attempts the Class-C for the three days and collapses into Miss's vines immediately, starts calling her Mommy and reveals she is a trans woman; vine boom 

NO! WHY DID SHE TRY GOING FOR THE THREE DAYS!?!?!? Well, I guess I have to change my statement; I now live in this neighborhood alone. In the Affini Compact, only Free Terran Pros are allowed to break rules and engage in capitalism. For Independent Noobs, it’s strictly prohibited, and unfortunately, I found that out the hard way. A while ago, I was searching around and I somehow stumbled upon a Terran Accord Credit. No one has seen a Credit in years, since currency don’t exist in the Affini Compact, so I had to try to take it.

“Stop right now!”

Oh no, I’m done for.

"You really thought you could take that without me noticing? What, were you going to try to trade that for goods and services?"

"No, Ma'am, I didn’t try to take it. I just thought it would be super rare and I wanted to collect it."

"Stop talking, give me ten minutes of Class-A and Class-W cuddles now."

"Ten minutes of cuddles!? Okay, sorry Mis-aroo. Ruff ruff yip bark!"

"You know what? You keep monologuing when you think we aren't listening~ let’s make it fifteen."

"A-aroo?...arf...."

"You know what? Now let’s make it twenty minutes in a row. And you have to do it while wearing this floretwear, petal."

Ah, a...a p-pretty, comfy dress?? Come on. 

does 'his' punishment. 

In the Affini Compact, it should be no surprise that all 'punishments' were just more forms of love and affection, and that was the last time I ever tried doing a capitalism.

"You’re lucky you got off easy. Don’t forget, you’re at the bottom, so follow the rules. Also, schedule a meeting with your Vet for some Class-G's, sweetie."

It’s safe to say that if you’re an Independent in the Affini Compact, it’s not exactly the-

sound of door thudding, splintering

What was that?

CRASH

"Petaaaaaal~ Remember me? Your Hab AI told me you were monologuing to empty space again, and I'm afraid the clip it sent me was so adorable that I just had to come and see. Here, come try this collar on for me..."

...Oh no.

[mimikeaton]

@puppygirlclit

"The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it."

poem by Mikko Harvey

[mimikeaton]

Watching a girl I'm dating slowly develop a British accent has been like watching an angel lose its wings.

[mimikeaton]

This is all true, except I don't make a noise when I orgasm this way. Instead a small chorus of woodland animals show up and perform an incredibly raunchy, innuendo filled musical number which I (by contractual obligation) blush and pout my way through the entire time.

princess hair is an erogenous zone. brushing it makes them have a delicate and very dignified princess orgasm