miserymeat44 - Tumblr blog

[miserymeat44]

I spent my birthday making this and playing SH2 :(

[miserymeat44]

[miserymeat44]

Scolopendra

[miserymeat44]

I don't know how to get out of this

[miserymeat44]

lol didnt have the gutz to post this on my normal blogz. hello (cover art for a song ive been thinking of) probably wont even publiish the zsong ever....

[miserymeat44]

[miserymeat44]

[miserymeat44]

nothin' quite like how a dog loves

let dead dogs lie - silas denver melvin // red dog - elizabeth frink // how to be a dog - andrew kane // domestication syndrome - dhole b // no origin found // for your own good - leah horlick // pleasure - beth cavener // it will come back - hozier // i am a dog. i have blood all over my teeth. - sciencedfiction // same poem as directly previous

[miserymeat44]

[miserymeat44]

can i kill everyone please thank you

[miserymeat44]

[miserymeat44]

OH FUCK YOU

[miserymeat44]

What if I’m unlovable at my core? What if there is something about me that makes people not want to stay?

[miserymeat44]

if i could kill you

pretty girl! pretty house, pretty dog. you got everything girl. a couple tears and heartbreaks, but dont we all?

what am i?

you're so high and mighty, mature and thoughtful, got money n beauty n support

what did i get?

i always was your dog on a leash [and we know i still love being tied up] there, on my knees at your feet. lovely girl, you fucked me up

i dont wear that leash anymore do i? but the collar i can never take off on my own. it still chokes me when i move too fast, breathe too much.

i want to choke. i want to bleed. for anyone who ever dares want me now.

i want you to bleed

but then i come to my senses: i shouldnt wish that

i shouldnt think of you but here we are

i dont want you dead

but i want you to be dead to me

but i keep checking on you when i'm weak

and girl, you broke my bones. i'm always weak.

[miserymeat44]

[miserymeat44]

BPD + Hypersexual culture is being absolutely terrified of admitting that you're a bad person because of what your trauma has done to you. Knowing how your friends will see you if they knew what went through your head. Forcing yourself to keep everything in while constantly hinting at it for any signs of validation (or the complete opposite). Being afraid everyone will leave you no matter what they say because, in reality, you're a gross, toxic person who will indeed make everyone uncomfortable just with your presence if you tell them anything.

.

[miserymeat44]

You aren’t dirty or wrong if your response to trauma is hypersexuality.

We often talk about sex repulsion in response to trauma where it might make you feel your response is wrong if that isn’t what it is. But you’re equally as valid whether you’re sex-repulsed or hypersexual.

It’s also valid to be both or switch between.