Part of being intentional is asserting yourself. Part of being confident within yourself is knowing that if someone doesn’t see your value.. you are still very much valuable.
One of the worst things you can do is neglect your wants and needs to make yourself more available for somebody else’s wants and needs.
The best that can come out of vocalising what you want is .. *drumroll*… you actually get what you want or open a line of communication for compromise.
The worst that can come out of asking for what you want is…you get a no 😔which if you shift your mindset is actually a blessing because it allows you to know where you stand and gives you a bigger picture, to which you can either choose to settle OR choose to move forward and better align yourself with what you actually want.
For years I felt like I wasn’t at my best unless I had on a 24 inch silky straight wig. Don’t get me wrong I love a good wig layyy.. , but it was really becoming a form of spiritual bondage.
I know a lot of black women can relate to growing up and entering the professional world, wearing natural or protective styles often turns into a show and tell circus, or a passive aggressive reminder of the “code of conduct”.
This idea of black hair not being presentable and polished enough is absolute foo foo. Beauty comes in all forms and that includes hair textures.
The more and more I detached from mainstream society and started focusing on myself the more I began to appreciate my natural beauty and sought to enhance it, rather than completely mask myself on a daily basis.
If you told me 2 years ago I would be posting pics and videos with a leave out and my hair pulled off my face revealing my forehead I wouldn’t have believed you. Sounds very extreme I know! But ..it just goes to show how deep messaging and lack of representation manifests sometimes.
In the off chance that you can relate, here is a reminder that your hair is beautiful in whichever way you want to rock it and some gorgeous natural styles inspo 💕
💕 You deserve to be cherished and loved the right way
💕 You deserve to be taken care of
💕 You deserve to feel secure and protected
💕 You deserve a man who helps lighten your load
I get so many messages from women who feel like a relationship filled with what they DESERVE, makes them some kind of burden. Can you imagine?
Baby girl...
Your energy is in INFECTIOUS
Your love is GENEROUS
Your body is SACRED
Your womb creates LIFE
Your heart is WARMING
You are actually PRICELESS!
Don't let a dusty man bargain you down.
The very LEAST a man can do is honour you (and pick up the tab).
It's very simple. When you mope through life like you are less than, guess what type of experiences you're going to attract? I think It's time you start doing the opposite, don't you?
Stop romanticising the games that dusties play and settling for boys who are under-qualified for the role of men. If he's not doing the fore-mentioned he's a leech of your precious time and energy.
Stop thinking you owe men ANYTHING, or that you need to prove your self sufficiency by way of expecting and accepting less.
The right man is not going to waste your time, play games, and show up unprepared. The right man is not going to make you feel like a burden. The right man will recognise your value and your value as a woman. The right man is going to step up as a man because your respect as a Queen is important to him.
A question I get asked alot is "How do I get comfortable recieving?"
Are you not deserving? 🧐
Ultimately it's all in the way you respond. Are you reinforcing or rejecting when it comes to recieving?
A High Quality Man understands that by taking care of his Queen he will be awarded so much more. So if you're worried you'll appear like you're unable to take care of yourself. Don't.
The only type of man who can't grasp this concept is an extremely dusty one.
Feminine energy is to receive.
Contrary to popular 50/50 beliefs YOU ARE THE TABLE.
So get comfortable and allow him to bring the offerings, like he wants to and like he should.
When he compliments you RECEIVE IT
because, damn right YOU LOOK GOOD 👩🏾⚖️
When he wants to take care of something for you RECEIVE IT because you are a soft feminine woman and you deserve your load to be lightened 👩🏾⚖️
When he gifts you RECEIVE IT, because a goddess deserves offerings 👩🏾⚖️
To share tips on how to be elegant as a black woman, so here’s my take on being elegant as a black woman.
𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤
Have and maintain your boundaries. Over extending yourself isn’t self satisfying, and rarely if ever, you’re able to actually be there for others. Saying no isn’t a bad thing and it is t rude. Don’t feel bad or guilty to where you add a bunch of excuses after respectfully declining.
Become more self aware. Know what your likes and dislikes are, what your boundaries are, what you’re passionate about, your style, all the things that make you who you are. Nobody should be able to know you better than you know yourself. Self awareness comes with a confidence and ease that makes moving through life easier, and love the person you are to the fullest.
Be kind. Being firm and self aware is a necessity, but it should always be coupled with kindness. Be a listening ear or a helping hand to those who need it, but remember your boundaries. Be warm towards all. Elegance ≠ being a snob, being catty, being mean, or being rude.
𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤
Identify your own personal style. Clothes should never look like they’re wearing you, you should always look like you’re wearing the clothes. Not only should you be concerned about your clothes, but accessorizing in a way that’s almost natural. Once you find your style, you’ll find that any outfit you put on will feel right on you, and you’ll be able to move with much ease.
Find your signature scent. I think nothing is more beautiful than a well dressed woman with a beautifully paired fragrance. Go to Sephora, Macy’s , or Saks and have an associate help you. Think about what scents you like, such as like edible scents, florals, fruity, woody, etc. Once you discover it, wear it all the time. This scent is what people will remember of you whenever they smell it. It’s powerful!
Keep in my mind your body language. The way you walk, talk, smile, and move are all indicative of an elegant woman. When you walk, keep your chest up, shoulders back, and chin slightly lifted. Smile genuinely. There’s nothing more beautiful than an authentic, warm smile. When you speak, speak clearly so you can be understood. Listen actively.
Social skills are a MUST and as a High Value Woman it's important to know how to adapt to your surroundings.
It can be awkward when you're occupying grander spaces, or engaging with high value people for the first time. But I promise, it's not and shouldn't be a daunting experience.
This PowerPoint presentation 😂 is to help you build better connections and to encourage you to make the most of your time and interactions.
As we integrate back in to society, let's continue to go for GOLD ✨
As a High Value Woman it is so important to be self sufficient and able to maintain your own standards!
It is great to to be looked after and provided for, by a man! Infact, you deserve to be! But a man is NOT and should NEVER be your financial plan 🚫
You should never allow someone to have so much power over you, because that's exactly what it is, irregardless of how good your situation may be!
If the panoramic has taught us anything, it's that life changes very quickly! So, It's important to provide security for yourself and not find yourself bound in situations, because you haven't prepared yourself to be able to move freely.
Anyway, log into your online account right now and set aside some money into your savings, if you haven't done so already!! It's time to stack up!
I am absolutely obsessed with @fentybeauty Gloss Bomb Cream gloss in Coffee Break. The PERFECT nude for my ladies with darker skin tones. You're welcome 😏
Not every person you meet in life will have the best intentions for you 👏🏾
Not every man will give you the love and respect you deserve 👏🏾
Not every friend will want to see you shining and slaying life 👏🏾
Not every family member will agree with your lifestyle choices and support you 👏🏾
As a high value woman you need to activate your mute button and routinely filter out the noise. Never seek to play low value people at their own game, you will always lose and they would've re-upped their low vibrational energy, at YOUR expense.
If you really want to show people how better off you are without them, how capable you are and how most likely you are to succeed......
STOP GIVING THEM SO MUCH POWER OF YOU 🥂
REFOCUS YOUR ENERGY ON TO YOURSELF 🥂
PUT YOURSELF FIRST 🥂
FORGET THESE PEOPLE EXIST AND LEVEL UP 🥂
Life has obstacles and people are going to do what people do. Don't waste an ounce of your energy dwelling. It's time to start excelling!