mmuschi

[mmuschi]

Taunts and Threats

Pairing: Rolan/named Tav Word Count: 3,176 AO3 Pt. 1: Drowning in Blood and Booze

Summary: While putting their plan in action to help their friend, Gale and Rolan accidently bring up a buried past.

TW: Suicidal ideations, depression, and spoilers

By the time Bethany woke up, Rolan was back in the room. He was sitting in a chair in the corner, his nose in a book. His yellow gaze flicked up as she started to stir. She had been concerningly still the entire time she was asleep, so the noise of her rolling over seemed to startle him. Bethany slowly opened her eyes to see him stare at her from the corner. She blinked several times before closing again as if to ignore his very presence. She stretched out her legs before rolling onto her belly and nuzzling her face into the pillow as if she was a feline. She was fighting drowsiness and the headache from her few too many drinks the night before. Rolan did not dare say a word as she woke up.. While Bethany inhaled a long breath, nuzzling her nose deeper into the pillow. A small smile tugged at her lips as she took in his scent, a smile only her and the pillow would have knowledge of. Everything in her urged her to snuggle into the pillow, to chase that sense of safety she did not realize he provided. She let her mind wander to his face as he concentrated on his books as the lingering scent of old ink invaded her senses. The warmth of it made her but the inside of her cheek to keep herself from grinning like an idiot. Bethany instead forced herself to sit up, though her entire body protested at the action. He simply watched as she stretched her arms above her head and let out a teary eyed yawn.

"Finally deciding to wake up?" Rolan finally spoke up as he watched her rub the sleep from her eyes. Bethany merely rolled her eyes at him, but elected not to respond. She stretched for a few more minutes before sliding herself off the bed. He watched her, his head tilting to the side slightly. She made no attempts to elaborate on what she was doing, and he was not inclined to ask. She looked around until she noticed the hilt of her rapier under the bed. She strapped it to her hip, letting out another yawn as she did so.

"Well, thank you for whatever last night was. I'm going to go find somewhere to get food or something. I'll see ya later, I guess." Bethany sounded indifferent towards him, but the way she was avoiding his gaze said otherwise. There was a faint tint of red dusting her cheek, and her jaw was tense. He slowly put the book down on the table next to him. 

"Just like that? This isn’t the annoying, selfless, hero I remember." Rolan replied, his tone taunting. She glared at him for just a moment before lifting her chin in spite of his taunting. Not bothering to grace him with a response, she just walked to the door of the room. He rolled his eyes at her attitude before pushing himself to his feat. He took a step over to block her path to the door.  “As much as I’d love you out of my hair, however, Gale requested I make sure you get food. He doesn’t trust you not to resume yesterday’s activities. So where are we going?” Rolan stated plainly, though there was a small smirk on his lips. He could detect her irritation. She gritted her teeth as she watched him speak. Despite wanting to deny him, they both knew Gale was right. 

“Elfsong tavern. I haven’t closed my room there yet. Hopefully that means you won't have to watch me sleep anymore like a creep.” Bethany crossed her arms as she replied. The response she got was a slightly amused eye roll. He stepped to the side and opened the door for her. 

“After you, your highness.” Rolan replied, giving her an over-emphasised bow. He seemed to be enjoying the way she stiffened with frustration. She shook her head and stormed out of his room. 

Bethany’s hands clenched into fists at her side as she pushed the image of his smirking face from her mind. She looked over her shoulder as she darted down the stairs only to stick her tongue out at him. She could almost hear him softly cursing in the background as she made her break for the exit. She got to the entrance of Sorcerous Sundries before he did, expertly weaving through the very few people who were shopping at this hour. As she left the building, the sunlight momentarily blinded her. She froze and immediately went to cover her eyes. Rolan managed to catch up with the help of the sun for the distraction. He grabbed her upper arm with a surprisingly strong grip she did not expect. Bethany shot him a glare over her shoulder, but did not resist him. 

“How long have I been asleep for? It only looks to be midday?” Bethany finally moved her hand from her eyes to glance at the sky. Her face was tense due to the brightness of the sun. She must have fallen asleep just after dawn, a few hours at most.

“A little over a day. It seems even someone as heroic as you needs to sleep sometimes.” Rolan replied, watching her out of the corner of his eye. The glare she cast at him only forced that smirk she hated back to his lips. Without another word she started onto the road.

Bethany took the path she knew he could follow, rolling her eyes as he did not release his grip. Despite not sharing any words, she got the hint that he was not going to let her go. She wound her way through the crowd towards the inn she had a room at, and where she thought she might find Gale. While she moved quicker than Rolan had anticipated, he still managed to keep his grip on her arm. The walk was only a few minutes before they arrived at Elfsong Tavern. She finally tried to shrug off his grip, but he only pulled her closer instead.

"For the love of the gods, would you stop trying to run off." Rolan leaned down as he hissed out the words, though he kept his grip tight and held her close. She glanced up at him with ever so slightly wide eyes before her gaze darted away.. 

"Only when you stop being an ass." Bethany hissed back, keeping her head turned away. Her cheeks had a light dusting of pink. Despite her poor mood, she still allowed him to guide her into the tavern. Now, she let her free hand rest on the rapier at her side. Her body stiffened with paranoia as she entered the noisy tavern. He glanced back at her, feeling her stiffen in his grip. His only response to her discomfort was to pull her closer. She winced as the noise hit her, almost entirely overstimulating her. While the streets were loud and chaotic, she knew the best ways to avoid and tune out most of it. Being in a loud building would only give her a headache. The two made their way to the back where the stairs were, but a familiar voice stopped them both.

"Bethany! Rolan! It is a pleasure to see you both here. I never actually thought Rolan here would leave his tower." A purple haired tiefling woman exclaimed as she approached them. She had a tray in one hand that looked just emptied. Bethany heard Rolan make a noise of annoyance next to her. A small smirk tugged at her lips as she turned her attention to Lakrissa.

"It took everything in me to drag him out of his seclusion. I was getting a little worried only talking to Lia and Cal might drive him insane!" Bethany lied with concerning ease. She plastered an all too fake smile on her face as she elbowed Rolan teasingly in the ribs. This earned her an annoyed look.

"Oh and you think being coerced into spending time with you is any better? I'd say I have mere minutes before I start losing brain cells." Rolan replied, rolling his eyes. He knew better than to point out her lies. Even if her jovial attitude was fake, it was better than her sulking. 

"Don't be so hard on her Rolan. I am sure your siblings would agree with her." Lakrissa let out a laugh at the two. While Rolan, Lia, and Cal were not siblings by blood, they certainly acted like it. 

"Yeah, Rolan, go easy on me." Bethany finally turned to him and looked up at him through her eyelashes, her lips formed in the smallest of smirks. He stared down at her for a moment, a scowl on his face. He jerked his head away and turned his attention to Lakrissa instead of Bethany. His grip on her arm only seemed to tighten.

"Doing so would only be doing you a disservice, Hero." Rolan hissed out. Bethany wasn't sure what a tiefling looked like when blushing, but he certainly looked like he could be. 

"Alright, let's leave the all powerful wizard alone. What can I do for you, Bethany." Lakrissa said through a few giggles. Bethany took a moment before replying, her attention was fixed intently on Rolan next to her. She had to tear her gaze away from Rolan before she got too distracted. There looked to be a look on her face that only Lakrissa noticed, though she smartly kept her mouth shut about it.

"We just came to find Gale." Bethany finally said after clearing her throat. The knowing look on Lakrissa's face after Bethany finally looked away from Rolan causing a faint blush to dust over her cheeks. 

"That's a shame. Gale left a few hours ago. I think he went into the upper city." Lakrissa responded. Bethany felt her body deflate with disappointment. Seeing him now would have cheered her up, even just a little bit.

"Any idea why he went there?" Bethany's voice betrayed her disappointment. Next to her, Rolan clenched his jaw.

"He unfortunately didn't say. He just let me know in case you came looking for him. He seemed very sure that you’d come by. I think I saw someone go up and talk to him, but they didn’t look like a magic caster or anything. More like a guard." Lakrissa responded, giving Rolan a confused look. Bethany had turned her gaze to the floor, not noticing the exchange of looks between the two. He gave Lakrissa a look,  silently begging for her to not say anything else. She had only been told a few details of their plan, but nothing more. “We haven’t seen you here in a day or so. Need anything to eat? I’m sure I could get you something special made?”

“It’s fine. I’m not really that hungry. Anything unique about the guard’s uniform?” Bethany didn’t look up yet. Her hand on her rapier tightened. Now both of them were giving her a confused look.

“Not particularly, why?” Lakrissa asked, a hint of suspicion sneaking into her voice.

“Nope, not at all. I’m just gonna go check on him.” Bethany’s voice was strained as she forced out her lie. She slipped out of Rolan’s grasp and hurried out, giving no reason for her hurry. 

Rolan and Lakrissa gave each other looks of confusion before he took up a brisk pace as he hurried after Bethany. He cut between a few people before he caught up to her. When he grabbed her, he gave her no time to fight back before dragging her out of the street and into a side path. He guided her up against the wall so her back was pressed against it.

"Do you think you are subtle? What was that about?" Rolan asked, his irritation coating his words. The accusation made her visibly bristle with frustration.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. Have you maybe considered that I don't like being separated from my friends?" Bethany hissed out at him, leaning up so she was closer to his face. While there was truth to her words, he also knew she was hiding something. He seemed taken aback by her ferocity in her tone. He had never seen her this mad, nor had he heard of it. Perhaps the last time was when she came storming into Sorcerous Sundries demanding for spells after Halsin had been taken by the Absolute Orin. That experience helped him learn how protective she was over her friends. 

“I suppose… There is nothing else I should know before I follow you into the Upper City, correct?" Rolan replied, carefully curating the words so he could catch if she was lying. The way she averted her gaze to the side to avoid his gaze told him exactly what he needed to know. He let out a soft sigh, even when she did not verbalize a response. “Alright, fine. If you don’t think its necessary for me to know, I get it.”

“It’s fucking complicated, alright? But, I can promise you it wont be an issue." Bethany murmured like a child being scolded. She let her gaze slowly shift back to him, her face twisting into a look of guilt. He held his gaze for a few moments before nodding.

"After everything I’ve seen you do, I trust you. There cant be anything you cant face now, Hero." While his belief in her should have made her feel better, she seemed to wince at his words. He wasn’t sure if it was the tone or that she didn’t believe in herself, but she left no time for questions.

“Let’s go find Gale. I don't trust this city enough for him to be alone. Or you for that matter.” Bethany ducked away from his grasp. She was already making her way back to the streets, not waiting for him to follow. He, of course, followed. 

"I’m touched. Lead the way, Hero." Rolan taunted as he followed her 

"Shut up." Was the only response Bethany could manage before leading him back to the main streets. She kept her head down, and her hand on her rapier at her side. Rolan fell into step with her rather quickly. They both walked in silence, minus the bustling streets around them. She walked the streets with not only purpose, but a recognition not even he had yet. She had mentioned before she was from Baldur’s Gate, but she only ever seemed uncomfortable and stressed out while in what should be her home. She had never mentioned family, at least not in front of him. She had not gone to see anyone. Nobody seemed to know her, which was odd if this was her birthplace. His mind drifted, almost losing track of where they were in the city. He wasn’t sure how long they had been walking before a voice snapped him out of his swirling mind.  

“Name and purpose.” The deep, bored voice stated. It was a guard they almost walked past on their way into the Upper City. Despite almost ignoring the man, he barely seemed agitated. He merely looked annoyed and bored.

"Bethany Byron. Considering how I just saved the city, do I need a purpose?" Bethany replied. Normally, she would be much more patient, but her worry for Gale seemed to overrule any patience she once had. She put her hand on her hip and looked up at the guard with a glare on her face.

"Ah, the runaway Grausamkeit kid. Run along.” The guard replied, curiosity now sparkling in his eye. It almost looked like her mere presence was enough to brighten his day. Though, the name he called her made her bristle with agitation. She looked as if she might lunge on the man. 

"Any other stupid questions? Or should I cut out your fucking tongue?" Bethany hissed out, her anger coming out of seemingly nowhere. She stared at him as the much larger man shrunk back away from him. He audibly swallowed as he motioned for her to go right on ahead. The longer Bethany glared at the man, the more he seemed to sweat and squirm. Just before Rolan was about to start pulling her away, she turned on her heel and marched past the checkpoint.

"What in the hells was that?" Rolan whispered as he caught up to her. That anger came from a place he had not seen before.

"Mind your own fucking business." Bethany looked over her shoulder at him as she hissed out the whisper. She gave him a glare that made him shut up and not question her any further. Deep, pushed down memories were fighting their way to the surface as she stalked her way deeper into the upper city. Her hand flexed repeatedly around her rapier. She knew the streets well enough to only have to be partially paying attention to find her way through.

“Yeah, sure… Hero…” There was a tone in Rolan’s voice that she recognized as fear. It only made her body stiffen. The anger in her body was so hot it was painful. It took all her self control to not let it boil to the surface. She let her subconscious map lead her to where she assumed Gale had gone. 

Rolan followed Bethany through the Upper City, he kept a watchful eye on her. While he was told she had bouts of anger, sometimes even bloodshed, this was not what he was expecting. He had even doubted the warning with what he had seen of her thus far. He followed her in silence, his discomfort all but said. Bethany could feel it, but she couldn’t be certain if it was just his discomfort, or fear. Giving Gale the benefit of the doubt that he was not seeking out his wretched goddess, Bethany led them to the largest library in Baldur’s Gate. She only stopped right outside the doors. She let her head tilt back, and she took a deep breath. She exhaled at the sky very slowly. When she finally turned to look at Rolan, who looked less uncomfortable by that point, she managed to give him an apologetic smile. 

“Listen, I’m sorry you had to see that. I’d rather use their fear of that name than try to convince them what I’m not.” Bethany made an attempt to apologize and explain, but without the full truth, the look she got was slightly distrustful. If she could, she would curl into herself and never come out. Her embarrassment was almost too heavy.

“No apologies are needed. Is this where you think Gale is?” Rolan brushed past the apology, skipping straight to the point of their travels. He looked up and down the large building before looking back to her.

“It’s the only place I can think of. If he went to a temple for Mystra, I will kill everyone there.” Bethany replied with a shrug. She did not wait for a response before she entered the building.

[mmuschi]

Me when the game makes me choose between Gale and Astarion 👿

[mmuschi]

♡♡♡♡♡

[mmuschi]

Drowning in Blood and Booze

Pairing: Rolan/named Tav 3.504 words

Summary: Gale and Rolan set out on a mission to help their dear friend deal with her survivor's guilt, but seem to accidentally drag up a past she wanted to keep buried.

There will be multiple parts. I have no end in sight yet. I posted it on AO3 too

TW: Suicidal ideations, depression, alcoholism, and major spoilers

The Elderbrain was dead. Baldur’s Gate was destroyed, yet now safe. Bethany’s friends had all gone their separate paths. Gale went back to Waterdeep. Karlach went to Avernus with Wyll. Laezel went to fight for her people. Who knows what Astarion decided to do. The only person she knew stayed in Baldur’s Gate was Shadowheart, though she was helping Isobel rebuild. 

Bethany was alone once again, not even the parasite in her brain to keep her company. Alcohol was the closest thing she had to company. Lucky for her, she had managed to snag a few too many bottles along her journey. 

The sunrise had never looked prettier. It had been a full day since the battle ended. Bethany sat on the docks, her legs dangling over the edge. She had on just a white blouse and black pants. She had taken off her boots and rolled up her pants so her toes dipped into the water. Her sleeves were rolled up unevenly. One arm was behind her, palm pressed into the dock as she leaned backwards into her arm. That sleeve was rolled up past her wrist. The other arm held her bottle of wine. That sleeve was rolled up past her elbow. Her black and red hair was pulled back just enough to keep it behind her half elven ears and out of her face. Her light blue eyes stayed fixed on the horizon. She could see the blood in the water still from where the Netherbrain fell in. She knew it was below the surface and dead, but she had been unable to look away for hours. There was a sinking feeling that maybe it would rise out of the water and all her sacrifices would have been for not.

So from the hours leading up until dawn, and until hours after dawn, Bethany Byron sat on the docks. The only thing she felt she could do was drink until she had no idea what time it was.

“My my. You have really just perfected the look of a hero, haven’t you?” A familiar voice sounded behind Bethany. It just barely snapped her out of her haze. She blinked a few times at the horizon only to realize it was well past dawn now. The noises of the city had started to hum in the background once again. The sarcasm in the tone was all too familiar. The last time she saw him was just before the battle with the Netherbrain. 

Rolan.

“Can’t a hero drink to victory in peace?” Bethany replied, though her tone sounded as if she was not fully there. The amount of empty bottles next to her looked terrifying, but she was still just barely drunk. She kept her eyes on the horizon as she heard the footsteps come closer. She heard him move the empty bottles and sit down next to her. Of all the people to find her, she dreaded that it was him.

“Gale was looking for you this morning. Shadowheart too.” Rolan started, his tone oddly tentative. He was trying to start a conversation he did not feel comfortable having a conversation one of her companions should be having. He glanced at her for just a moment, just long enough to notice the way her jaw clenched at the mention of her companions. He turned his head to stare in the same direction as she was. “They looked through the taverns. They also walked through the streets for a few hours. I suppose it is a little terrifying when you decide to up and vanish.”

“I'm the hero, remember? I can handle myself.” Bethany’s voice sounded exhausted. She looked and sounded like she had not slept in days, which was probably the case. She finally tore her eyes away from the horizon as brought the bottle of wine to her lips and tilted her head back. After a few sips from the bottle, she let hand drop back into her lap. A few drops spilled onto her pants. Her eyes fluttered closed, but she kept her head tilted back.

“Without this? Or your armor?” Rolan replied. Bethany didn't have to open her eyes to see the raised eyebrow she knew he was giving her. She had intentionally left it at camp. The only response she was bothered to give him was a shrug of her shoulders. He let out a sigh and dropped her rapier in her lap. This was a weapon she held dear to her heart. She had it since the beginning of their journey. The only identifiable trait was the elven inscription along the blade. The blade was forged with silver instead of any other metal. It was expensive, but somehow near to her heart.  She almost felt relieved at the silence again, but the tension between them was heavy in the air. 

Either seconds or minutes passed, Bethany couldn’t tell which, before she finally opened her eyes and let her head tip to the side to look at him. He couldn't tell if her sluggish movements were from exhaustion, or the copious amount of alcohol she’s had. He was staring at the horizon she had been intently watching for hours. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, but said nothing and looked back to the horizon. Bethany let her gaze wander lazily over him. If he felt her gaze, he did not react. 

“Why isn’t Gale heading back to Waterdeep?” Bethany muttered softly as if it just clicked in her that Rolan told her Gale talked to him. Her eyebrows scrunched up slightly as she tried to think about it. Coming to her senses, she slowly began to strap her rapier to her waist. Rolan turned his head just enough to meet her gaze, only to give her a shrug.

“Maybe, if you get off your ass and come with me, he will tell you.” Rolan replied as if it was that simple. They held each other’s gazes for several more moments.

“No.” Bethany tore her gaze away from him and looked back at the water. Her voice was sharp, insistent. If she left, the Netherbrain might rise from the waters once more. The sacrifices she made would have been for nothing. Lives lost for nothing. Just the thought of it had her heart pounding. Her breathing became short bursts. It was all she could think about. She heard Rolan inhale slowly, and then exhale just as slowly. She knew he was trying his patience. She could feel his gaze burning holes through her. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. This was nothing he would understand. The blood was her burden to carry alone. She was just grateful he was not one of the lives she lost.

“What in the hells will get you up then? I never thought of you as the type to wallow in self pity like this.” Rolan hissed out through his teeth. She could hear his tail aggressively thrash for a moment. Despite having nothing left in her to cease his annoyance, she didn't want him to leave. The thought of being forced to fight that… thing alone was enough to cause a shiver to run down her spine. She had to be ready when it rose again. 

“I really thought you’d enjoy seeing your Hero like this more.” Bethany looked over at him again. She looked him over before putting the bottle down next to her. She put her hand on the cobblestone between them and leaned in on it. He watched her carefully, debating on his response. She held his gaze, a small smirk forming on her face. 

“I have dreamed of doing many things to you, but watching you drink yourself to death was never one of them. This is rather pathetic.” Rolan replied in a blunt tone that made Bethany straighten up. That was clearly not the response she was hoping for or expecting. She had been insulted by him before, but this filled her with both anger and shock. 

“Excuse me?” Bethany was unable to keep the mix of anger and shock from her voice. The look on her face was one of offense. After everything she had done for him, for the city, this response from him hurt her. There was a familiar stabbing pain in her chest. It was something she had grown accustomed to feeling long before this journey began.

“You are excused. Now if you’ll excuse me, I don't have time to sit here and watch you drink yourself to death.” Rolan said in his snarky tone. He pushed himself back to his feet and brushed himself off. The dismissal of her emotions, her worry, had her mouth agape. That feeling of hurt turned to pounding throb. A chill passed through her chest.

“Right, because when you decided to try and drink yourself to death and I had to go save you from the shadows, that was okay. But,” Bethany pushed herself to her feet as she spoke. She seemed to have stood up too quickly, because she almost tipped sideways and fell into the water. Rolan, despite being upset with her, caught her arm before she fell in. There looked to be a hint of worry in his eyes, but it quickly faded. “I get a little bit upset because I have hundreds of people that I failed, and suddenly nobody gives a shit.” She took a step forward, jabbing her finger into his chest. Her body lurched forward and she stumbled into him. His hands went to her waist to keep her steady. She couldn't make out the look on his face as he stared down at her.

“I knew that would get you up. Let’s go.” Rolan had an edge of confidence to his voice. Bethany stared at him with wide eyes, unsure of what to make of what just happened. He made an attempt to turn her around to guide her away from the dock, but she took a step backwards. His hand trailed down her arm as she pulled from his grasp.

"Let's go? No, I am not pathetic! I did everything I could!" Bethany insisted, anger flashing in her eyes. Rolan winced, realizing his word choice did not have it's intended effect. 

"Everyone in this damned city knows that. You are the Hero of Baldur's Gate. Nobody wants to see you moping around the docks as if you want nothing more than to throw yourself in." Rolan replied, sounding more frustrated than he intended. Even he almost winced at his own tone. 

"So what if I decide to tie some rocks to my waist and throw myself in. I saved the city. It's over." Bethany snapped back. She took a step forward once again to jab at his chest. "I did my part. After the months I spend on that journey, I can finally make the choice to do whatever the hell I want." 

"And you are going to chose to kill yourself?" Rolan's tone was low, his anger overshadowing his worry until Bethany looked away. He let out a sigh, his hand going up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Being unable to respond, she just stood there, her arms dropping to her side. "So that was your plan." He said out loud, not needing a response. It was a statement, not a question.

"I don't fucking know. Regardless of what this stupid city thinks of me, I don't have all the answers. Maybe by now, I should. After all, I just saved not only Baldur's Gate, but also the world. I also killed a devil. And The Dead Three's chosen. And-" Bethany would have kept listing, but Rolan interrupted by clearing his throat. "Right. I should know what to do now, but I fucking dont. And I'm fucking scared ."

"Now we can actually get somewhere. I don't see how killing yourself was easier than that." Rolan huffed, his body subtly relaxing with relief. Bethany was quiet once again. He watched her with an indecipherable look on his face. He slowly reached his hand out and took her own. She did not fight or pull away. He tugged her closer to him, allowing her to simply lean against his chest. He wasn't sure of the words to use to help her, so he let her seek the comfort she needed. Her arms slid around his torso, pulling herself against his chest. He slowly wrapped his own arms around her to hold her close.

"I don't want anyone to have to save me." Bethany murmured into his chest. She nuzzled her face into his chest, avoiding pressing her face into the silver metal atop his shoulders. Her words made him chuckle, which in turn made her glare up at him.

"Now you know how I feel, Hero." Rolan replied, not even bothering to hide the amusement from his voice. Bethany rolled her eyes and looked away from him, though she did not pull away. She rested the side of her face against his chest, her hands gripping the back of his robes. Her face was red, every ounce of her and her pride despising looking so weak.

Bethany let her gaze strayed to the horizon once more. Fear gripped her heart as she stared at the bloodstained waters in the distance. Rolan could feel her hands grip the fabric of his robes tighter the longer she stayed quiet. 

“What if it’s not dead?” Bethany whispered softly, letting Rolan coax her into leaning against him. He looked in the same direction as her. His thumb hesitantly rubbed back and forth on her back. She could almost see it. The Netherbrain rising again. The people turning into Mind Flayers once more. The screaming echoed in her mind. It made her heart race; her breathing quicken. 

“It is. You did say you killed it after all, right, Hero? Well, not without my help of course.” Rolan said, which seemed to comfort her enough to pull away just enough for her to be able to walk next to him. His last comment seemed to cause a small smile to form on her face. She wrapped an arm draped across his shoulders as he led her away. He had one hand on her hip, holding her close to him, and the other holding her hand to keep her arm across his shoulders. While she was still able to walk almost just fine, she still accepted Rolan's help. She did not take her eyes off the water until it was completely out of sight. Her body seemed to relax as he led her up the hill and towards Sorcerous Sundries. 

"Where would I be without you." Bethany muttered sarcastically. Once she tore her gaze from the now distant docks, she turned her head towards him. He was looking ahead, though glanced at her from the corner of his eye. He had a slight look of pride about him from her words. The further he guided her from the docks, the more sluggish her movements became. With each step she took, her body reminded of her lack of sleep.

"Dead probably. Maybe suffering in some far off corner of the world?" Rolan replied before looking down at her. He kept holding her against him as he led her away, no matter how much he had to support her weight. The rest of the walk to his tower was quiet. Whether it was due to his unempathetic response or her exhaustion was unknown to him. Bethany seemed to have the near impossible task of keeping herself awake. 

When the two arrived, Rolan muttered a few words to magically unlock the front doors before pulling her inside. He only stopped to lock the door once inside again. He led her up the stairs to what she remembered as his old room. By the time the two got up the stairs, he was practically dragging her. She looked as if she was going to pass out right there. With much effort and many muttered curses, he got her into his old room and dropped her on the bed. Bethany managed to adjust herself, curling into a ball in the middle of the bed. 

Rolan watched her get comfortable on his bed. He very carefully reached around her waist and removed the rapier from her. He quietly put the weapon on the chest at the foot of the bed. He then pulled the blanket up and over Bethany's body. She had passed out almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. He watched her for a long while. She looked peaceful while she slept. She didn't look ready to fight anyone for looking at her, or her friends, wrong. She did not look like 'the Hero of Baldur's Gate'. She looked like any other half elf he would find in Faerûn. His hand lingered over her shoulder as he watched her, before he lightly brushed her red and black hair from her face. He eventually left her in the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. Now that she was safe, he was sure Gale would love to know she hasn't gotten herself in any real trouble. He made his way through the portal to the top of his tower where Gale was waiting. Before he said anything to Gale, he walked over to the chair of books Lorroakan had set up while he was still in charge. 

Gale was going through his collection of artifacts and spell books by the time Rolan arrived. He held the small artifacts in his hands, the smile on his face indicating he approved of them. While he did not need to consume the magic from any of them, he still appreciated them and enjoyed weighing in on their power. He did not look up from his exploration of what was only just recently Rolan’s until he heard him speak. 

"How in the hell did you deal with that for months ?" Rolan finally said in an exasperated tone. He ran his hands over his face, finally letting the drain from the conversation with Bethany show . He sunk down into his chair slowly. 

“A��lot of distractions. Bethany never had something she didn’t have to fix, until now that is. You have my gratitude for collecting her. I doubt in her state she wants to be reminded of the horrors we faced by seeing me… or anyone else for that matter. ” Gale peered at Rolan from his spot by a bookshelf. His fingers delicately traced a few of the spines. It looked like he couldn’t tell which to put more effort into looking at: books or artifacts.

“Distractions? Are you telling me I have to find something for her to do... just for her to  not actively seek her own demise?” Rolan sounded somehow more frustrated than he was at the docks. Babysitting the Hero if Baldur’s Gate was not on his to do list, nor did he want it to be. His frustration was only met by Gale's chuckle. “And… you'd be surprised. The first thing she did ask about was you and Shadowheart.”

“While the sentiment is appreciated, it is unneeded. If she willingly decides to let you take care of her, you best be up to the task. She is quite the stubborn creature, is she not?” There was a caring sort of amusement to Gale’s tone. The months of traveling with Bethany had given him more insight on her than the others. She chased feigned passion in the same way as Astarion, and she even participated in it with him. While she had a difficult time understanding it, she was more than happy to explore the Weave with Gale. She never once judged Shadowheart for her choice in deities, though he knew she did not approve. She repeatedly trained with Laezel for fear her abilities in combat would not be up to the task. Though, the most intriguing way she passed her time was through her conversations with Wyll. She seemed to have a great deal to talk about with him, especially in regards to the higher society in Baldur's Gate.

“Ah yes, and I am the one ‘blessed’ with the role of caretaker then?” Rolan responded, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. While he cared for Bethany, he never signed up for babysitting her. He had Lia and Cal and they were enough of a handful as it was.

“Trust me, I know how much of a hassle she can be. Think of it as.. She doesn't feel the need to ‘mother hen’ you if you will. Now, you did not hear this from me, but I might have a faint idea on a… mission for her if you will. It could potentially distract her from the past few months.” Gale mused aloud, an idea forming in his head as he spoke.

It was lucky for both of them that a certain someone noticed her, even when she thought nobody was looking.

[mmuschi]

Indebted to The Hero

Rolan X FMC

Summary: Bethany is stressed and tired of being a hero. Rolan is tired of needing a hero.

BG3 Spoilers for act1, act2, and act3

Magic was overly complicated and almost not worth learning.

Bethany was curled up on a plush chair, sunlight beaming down on her. There was a book of spells she was supposed to be studying in her hands. It was boring. It was confusing. It was irritating. The mentor she chose to help her was grumpy and always annoyed with her. Every lesson made her regret not choosing Gale to help her. 

The sunlight started to peak over the book causing Bethany to squint her light blue eyes. She was done studying for the day. She sunk further into her chair, her legs kicking over the arm of the chair. She dropped her book into her lap and leaned her head against the other arm. 

“Rolan, I’m fucking bored.” Bethany called out to the Tiefling pacing back and forth with his own book in hand. His face scrunched up in annoyance as he stopped his pacing abruptly. 

“If you are so bored, you don’t have to be here. Don’t you have adventures to be on, Hero? Or people to save?” Rolan replied, his yellow eyes narrowing at her. While he was completely right, Bethany still leaned her head back and let it hang over the arm of the chair. 

“Things seem peaceful right now. Besides, a day off of everyone relying on me sounds nice.” There was a hint of exhaustion in Bethany’s voice as the thought of everything she could be doing instead rushed through her mind. Her nose scrunched up slightly before she lifted her book over her head to continue reading.

“Ah, yes. It is torturous to be needed.” The reply was received with Bethany’s own glare. Rolan shook his head at her look before looking back to what he was reading. The silence that drifted over the two was peaceful, something Bethany hadn’t experienced in weeks, months even. The only noises were the flipping of pages or when she shifted in her chair. 

Bethany eventually finished her book and let her attention drift towards Rolan. He was reading what looked to be his inventory. After she helped him obtain Ramazith’s tower from his previous mentor, he had been working feverishly to calculate the inventory of the entire tower. It had been days and it seemed to have no end in sight. 

Not daring to break the silence, she laid the book down quietly on her chest and watched him. She watched the way his eyes scanned over the pages, always so careful not to miss a detail. His tail only seemed to swish as he turned to pace the other way. A small smile graced Bethany’s face as she watched him. This must be Lia and Cal see regularly, but she was used to the tired and grumpy version of him. The version that hated not being needed or useful to someone. Maybe that was why she chose Rolan to help her instead of Gale. It wasn’t that she wanted to become a wizard, but she wanted to show him he was just as important as her. He could be a hero in his own right.

As if Rolan felt her eyes on him, his gaze flicked upwards to meet her own. They held each other’s gazes for just a moment before he broke the silence.

“Did you need something, Hero? It’s unnerving for you to be this quiet.” Rolan blinked at her expectantly, clearly waiting for an answer that was taking her too long to give. She remained silent for a few more moments before turning her gaze away. 

“Have you found anything cool in Lorroakan’s shit? You have been going through everything for days now.” Bethany asked as she rolled herself onto her side. She put the book she had just finished in a pile before snagging another book from a different pile. 

“If you must know, magical artifacts and scrolls. None of which would be useful to you. Believe me, I have checked.” Rolan replied after a long exhale. He walked towards the chair she was lounging in. He reached towards a pile of books behind her, though he shoved her legs off the arm of the chair as he did so. She let out a grunt as she was forced back into a proper sitting position. She watched as he scanned through the book he picked up.

“Scared I’m gonna ruin your precious furniture?” Bethany teased lightly as she forced herself to sit up more and lean back in the chair. It took a few moments to get a response. Rolan flipped through a book before dropping it in her lap.

“That’s an inventory list I think you might find interesting. There should be a few things marked down that you or your little party might find useful. That should settle my debt to you.” Rolan was now looking down at her with a knowing look. He was slightly bent over the chair now.

“Debt?” Bethany repeated, tilting her head back to raise an eyebrow at him. While she knew what debt he was talking about, she did not think he was aware that she knew.

“Debt. You saved the entire grove from those cultist goblins. You saved Lia and Cal in those cursed lands. You rid me of my mentor. I owe you a great deal, and I would rather settle it through artifacts or spells rather than you suffering through lessons you will never use. It is a waste of both of our time.” Despite his calm tone, there was frustration he was forcing down. This was the exact situation Bethany was trying to avoid. She visibly cringed and shrunk down in the chair.

“Listen, Rolan, I really dont want-” Bethany started, though he quickly cut her off. She kept her head hung, refusing to look up at him.

“Listen, Hero,” Rolan started, reaching down and grabbing her chin so she was forced to at least face him. “I don’t need your pity. I don’t need to be your little charity project. I would like to live out my life with my friends. None of us need you to save us anymore, so you can fuck off.” 

All Bethany could do was stare at him. Her mouth was slightly parted from the shock of his sudden change in demeanor; she didn’t even notice his nails digging into her jaw. They stayed like that for several minutes too long before Bethany finally jerked her head away.

“Alright. Whatever. I really thought we were past this. I did what I had to do. I saved who I had to. None of this was my choice. You can have my role as the fucking hero. I don't pity you, I envy you.” Bethany’s words were hissed out through her teeth as she forced herself to her feet. Her words looked like they struck Rolan. She tossed the book she had in her lap onto the chair as she stepped away from it. “This life you have? I would give anything for it. Do you know how many people have died because I was their hero? I make mistake after mistake. Your mistakes now come in a spell written wrong. Mine cost BLOOD, Rolan.” 

There was then a silence heavy with tension. The two glared at each other as if their mere existence was a personal slight against one another. Rolan opened his mouth to speak, but Bethany interrupted before he could get out a word.

“Don’t. It really was a mistake asking you to help me, fuck. I should have known you fucking hate me.” Bethany shook her head, her shoulders slumping with disappointment. Rolan let out a frustrated groan as he grabbed her arm and jerked her forwards, closer towards him.

“Maybe if you would just stop being my hero, I would stop hating you like this.” Rolan muttered, his nails digging into her arm. For once she wasn’t wearing armor to protect her skin. Bethany stared up at him, her look a mix of confusion and irritation. 

“So you do hate me then?” Bethany insisted, wanting the clear answer. She did not jerk out of his grasp this time. She held his gaze. 

“No. I just… by the Gods do you ever shut up?” Rolan snapped out, rolling his eyes at her. He inhaled sharply just as she once again went to jerk from his grasp. Instead, Rolan leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. 

Bethany’s entire body stiffened and her eyes were wide. Just as he went to pull away, she grabbed at his shoulders and pulled herself closer. He moved one of his hands to the small of her back to press her body against his. Bethany let out a soft gasp allowing him to slide his tongue into her mouth. She let his tongue explore her mouth for what felt like a heavenly few minutes before he finally pulled away. His lips met her skin once again at her jaw, and then just behind her ear. 

“For once, Hero, I want you to be the one thanking me. What I would do to see you grovel.” Rolan muttered against her skin. The words sent a shiver up Bethany’s spine. 

“You’re smart enough Rolan. Learn how to make me.” Bethany muttered in a hushed tone. As the words fell from her mouth, her head tilted back to allow his lips to cascade lower against her skin.

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my other fics are on Ao3

[mmuschi]

[mmuschi]

Nightmares

Just some OC Clone x OC Jedi General. 

The clone Commander is Aiwha and he is of my husband’s making for our clone wars dnd campaign and the Jedi is a little Pantoran! It is 1390 words and not proof read or edited. 

Everything was so blurry, if this wasn’t something she’d seen before it wouldn’t have been identifiable. Amuna had watched the death of her mother hundreds of times, the way the place she had been raised blew up behind her as her mother rushed her to meet the man who was supposed to save them.

Every time it always started with her watching the silver armored Mandalorian go with her mother into the backroom. This man rarely spoke to her, just her mother. This confused her. Her mother only went back with men who paid, and this man never did. She could never stop herself from following them to the room to try to listen in. Every time she couldn't hear anything but hushed whispers, sounds she never heard from these back rooms. They were typically louder. The next bit was always blurred. Her mother was sneaking around the back refusing to let her anywhere near her. The first time experiencing this was confusing. She attempted to follow her mother as she carried a container with a liquid that now smells familiar. It didn’t at the time. Amuna’s mother snapped at her to hurry to the front and for once, she was ordered not to accept any drinks. As she hurried away, the scenery morphed. Her mother was dragging her away from the palace. Away from the Hutt. Away from the bounty hunters, except one. She never knew the name of. She couldn't help but look over her shoulder to watch the palace as a loud explosion went off. There were several more before all that remained was smoke rising from the rubble. 

They made their way to an odd shaped ship Amuna had never seen or read of. Unlike most times this has happened, this time it seemed familiar. She couldn’t pinpoint where exactly she had seen this ship before. The man had somehow beat them to the ship and was already boarding it. He stopped to look back at them momentarily. “I did as you asked. You promised me safety for my daughter and I. And I expect you to hold up to it.” Her mother said loudly from next to her. She slowed down, but did not stop as she practically dragged Amuna to this ship.

“Not passage. You will have to find your own way off the world.” The silver armored man replied coldly before turning to board his ship. Her mother made a sudden movement from beside her, but Amuna couldn't remember what she did. Is that what led to what happened next?

“You bastard you promised!” Her mother shrieked at the man. In one simple movement, he pulled out a blaster and shot her square in the chest. As her mother fell to the ground, Amuna let out a horrified scream. When her mother fell, it almost sounded like something fell next to her, but this was a detail always overlooked. She dropped to the ground next to her mother. Hot tears fell down her face as warm blood coated her hands. She stayed like this, sobbing, for what felt like an eternity before she heard footsteps approach her. The man hadn't left. 

“Get yourself off this world, kid.” The man said through the voice modulator as the sound of credits dropping landed right next to her. As he walked away, she heard him say something he’d never said before. “Amuna? Amuna?! Hey Amu-”

Amuna sat up with a start, but her head ran into something quite hard. She fell back onto her pillow and whined.

“Kriff, Amuna…” A familiar voice groaned from above her. It was a comforting familiar being almost exactly the same as the voice in her dream. As she opened her eyes, she noticed the outline of a man above her. He was sitting up and looking down at her. There was worry in this man’s eyes. Her cheeks were wet as they were in the dream, but her hands weren't. Her breathing was coming in and out rapidly as she tried to separate what happened in the dream and where she was. She slowly sat up this time as the man watched her regain her bearings. She aggressively wiped her hands on the thin sheets she was under. When the man realized she wasn't going to calm down anytime soon, he slowly reached out. He was moving slowly as if not to startle an animal.

“General, It's your commander. Aiwha. I'm right here.” The man spoke very softly to her as her head slowly dipped down into his hand. He spent a while working up to pulling her into his lap and just holding her, telling her to breathe with him. The only thing separating him from the man in the dream and from the man she sees now, is what he felt like. The force was always harder for her to understand given she was accepted into the order at a very late age, but he felt so much different. And it was comforting. After a while they sat in silence as she listened to his heart and breathing. 

“Was I loud again, Aiwha?” Amuna finally spoke after a long silence. She had finally calmed down and now the embarrassment was setting in. She was typically quite loud. She had a few of her clone troopers ask her if she was alright the next day. It was frustrating. Aiwha didn't reply, but that gave her the answer. There was another long silence of just enjoying each other’s presence and her calming her nerves by just being held by him. He was sitting with his back to the wall and his legs stretched out towards the side of the bed. Amua was sitting sideways in his lap with her side leaning into his chest. His nose was pressed against her temple. He had one hand in her mess of cult, fluffy, pink hair and on top of her head. The other was wrapped around her waist and holding her close.

“Did you see Pounce’s newest painting? The more he paints the more I think he needs a Loth Cat.” Aiwha muttered in her ear. This brought a small smile to her face. She did nod as she remembered the painting the trooper had showed her days before. It was of a loth cat playing with him in a little meadow. “Or about how Heshtal was on a comm with General Obi-Wan Kenobi, and he put Roadblock on the spot. You would have liked seeing how flustered he got, General.” He continued to talk, but as soon as he called her ‘General’, she stopped him. “Aiwha, I'm not just your General. I'm Amuna to you. You know this.” She muttered softly. She felt the smile she caused against her temple.

“Yes Ma’am.” Aiwha replied. His heart seemed to flutter every time she corrected him. He knew what they were doing was dangerous, but as Amuna always said… their relationship was off the records.

“And yes, Aiwha… I did see those. I do live on this ship you know…” Amuna seemed to hold back a weak chuckle. Her voice was still weak, but the amusement was still there. That was what Aiwha was going for.

“Amuna, you should lay back down. We should be getting to Coura Aiwha, I did see those. I do live on this ship you know…” Amuna replied with an amused, yet clearly drained tone. She shifted her head away from his mouth and nuzzled it under his chin. His chest vibrated in a soft chuckle. 

“Amuna, I think it is time for us to lay back down. We should be getting back to Coruscant soon. You need a little more sleep before talking to the council again.” Aiwha muttered sleepily. Reluctantly, she gave in and slid off his lap. They both slipped back under the thin covers. Aiwha wrapped an arm around her and rested his hand on top of her head to keep her fluffy hair out of his face. 

“I love you, Aiwha. Thank you for being my best friend.” Amuna muttered softly as she let herself relax into sleep. 

“I love you too, Amuna. Thank you for being my best friend too. I am truly grateful you ended up being my General.” And with that, the two drifted into a much more peaceful sleep.

[mmuschi]

Don’t get me started. Where do I begin with her. I’ve written this at like 5 different points in the day so it’s super choppy but here we go. Sorry this is late I didn’t finish since I got off work late. But I’m very proud of this baby.

She is a Pantoran Jedi General who treasures her clones. She was super into the individuality of all of her men and never calls them clones. Can and will sass anyone who dares insult them. Her Commander, Aiwha, has helped her a lot. She had no idea how to be a General but Aiwha has been helping her and teaching her the best he can. Amuna was once a slave so she tells her men quite frequently the life she will give them after the war to help with her guilt. She hates her position but won’t leave it so men like Krell don’t get their hands on her brothers. She did get Krell publicly kicked out of the Jedi Order altogether. She is slowly also falling in love with her Commander as he is for her. It’s very wholesome especially when he helps her with all her mental stuff. She has some stuff I won’t go into due to trauma.

She’s a really small baby with really floofy pink hair. Her facial markings resemble three little whiskers on her face. Her Jedi robes as basically Anakins colors but lighter. She’s a healer and focuses on healing her men. She has really pretty like lavender eyes too.I’m adding a picture my friend made below.

A lot of her abilities revolve around healing and buffing. She focuses on revitalizing her men and keeping them tough. I’m the campaign I play with her she has abilities that give them temp hp, buff their stats, she can revitalize and heal her troops to keep them all alive. She has a really hard time coping after severe losses. She will soon be developing some dark side abilities that may revolve around the opposite of what she does right now due to certain situations. All of this is to protect her brothers.

Hi so I’m in the mood to hear about some Star Wars OCs. Tell me about yours if you’d like!

Fair warning, I’m that person who will try to kidnap every single precious oc I love ok. Y’all be having the sweetest characters🥺

[mmuschi]

warhammer fantasy apparently doesnt get enough love 

[mmuschi]

Total War: Warhammer -> Karl Franz -> X

[mmuschi]

one of my husband's cats... I guess I can call him my cat now too... wanted in after I went into the bedroom to cuddle with Josh as he slept. He was taking up most of the bed but once I made my presence known he moved. I let snickers in and instead of realizing there is no room... he made room by my stomach. He curled up in my ball. what a cuddle bean

[mmuschi]

we don't have milk and my husband is at work. I'm not tired but my body is. Snickers hasn't joined me.

I think I might go make hit chocolate and easy mac with no milk and then find the cat and watch the clone wars.

[mmuschi]

Here it is! Fives! I will do the next ones soon. there is a lot I need to fix up on buttt it is better than I thought it's be. I hope Fives likes it!

after finishing the clone wars my inspiration is back and now I'm painting each clones' symbol with their best quote. So far I have Cody a ns Fives and I'm working on Tup, Rex, and Dogma and as many I have canvasses for. I wanted to share how all you bois have helped me gain back my creativity just by being amazing beans. I'd adopt every one and cherish you all like you deserve

Oh, that’s so cool! We’re proud to be an inspiration for you! Keep up the creativity!

.

.

P.s. Can we see your finished work?

[mmuschi]

I'm watching a show with my hub and the show said "my boyfriend is 12" and I told him that it was us

then he started to throw a fit like a 5 year old

THIS is the love of my life

[mmuschi]

haven't slept since two nights ago other than a very short nap today that was less than an hour

and now I'm tired but can't sleep because the kids are yelling in the living room and by kids I mean 16-18 year olds

how did my hub fall asleep I don't understand

[mmuschi]

aayla 👉👈

[mmuschi]

hey, adora （ΦωΦ）