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moon-lit-stars · 13 days
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There is a place east of home
That bears witness of generations
Where you store the happy memories in frames
And sad memories in locked chests
The corner café table with your initials
The scent of warmth and fresh bread
Watching the sun go down out the window
Seeing its lover the moon come out
Empty coffee cups hold illicit affairs
Polaroids filled with smiles
Hearts void of little joys
These little things are what we live for
These litte things are what we die for
Wooden door frames
Twinkling tubelights
Wall full of cutouts
And air full of rusty defiant naive youth
Sunlight hits the worn out desk
Bringing nostalgia pouring in with it
The beginning is as real as the end
Now sunlight shines on a marble counter
Making tiny rainbows all over (little joys)
Familiar footsteps echo
Tin boxes lined on dusty shelves
I am a creature of habit
Bound to circle back to my roots
This place east of home
Bears witness to all the hearts it owns
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moon-lit-stars · 14 days
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Falling in love in the rain sounds like a movie
Like in the movies when two people who are poles apart meet
Under the stormy sky under an umbrella and feel a thunder in themselves like the sky above
In reality falling in love feels more intense
like the thundering rain making window's and your nerves rattle
Falling in love when you least expect it sounds like a novel
Like in a novel when you feel drained of purpose
Then suddenly you run into someone who excites you and gives you purpose
Like you had been waiting for them to show up all your life
In reality falling in love sometimes feels expected and terrifying
like snow in a dry cold winter
Falling in love amidst the hassle of life sounds like a sitcom
Like in a sitcom where you lead a busy life trying to earn your name
Along comes a person full of support and warmth
In reality falling in love feels more complicated but somehow they
they feel like the first sip of coffee after a long long day
Falling in love with someone you've known forever sounds like a rom-com
Like in a rom-com where it is obvious you will end up together to everyone but you two
Like it was a realisation you both are meant to have sooner or later
In reality falling in love with the familiarity feels like every part of you is being cut up and laid bare
like you're asking the other to love you anyways but too afraid to accept the new form of love
Falling in love will never be an easy thing to do like in the movies
Even after saying i do or finding your home after being broken multiple times
Like in novels not many like a sad ending because why feel hopeless in the fantasy world too?
In reality falling in love can never feel the same way it did for the first time or the second or the seventh
It can never be put into words by any person
That's how people love
Wholly longingly achingly madly
Like red strings of faith tightening with every step closer.
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moon-lit-stars · 1 month
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Desperation
/ˌdɛspəˈreɪʃn/
[ noun ]
a state of despair, typically one which results in rash or extreme behaviour.
Desperation
The feeling i feel when i think of you
When i imagine your lips on mine
My hand around your waist
And my head clouds with thoughts of you
Desperation
The state of wanting but never getting what you want
When i look at you and catch your eyes looking back
And my mind stops processing the words coming out my own mouth
Desperation
The feeling of nerve wracking desire
When i feel my heart race at the lightest touch
And my head goes blank static like a tv screen
Desperation
The state in which i live knowing my mind and body aches for yours the way it never has before.
The state in which every part of me feels more yours than mine.
Desperation
The state where one rash decision, one wrong step would expose me completely.
The state where i repeat your name over and over waiting for you to hear me and say it back.
The state where every touch of yours feels like leaving.
Desperation hedonism desire
The feeling i drown in every single time you call out my name.
I think about you like it is the oxygen in my lungs
As if thoughts of you keep me alive
And my head is filled with nothing but
desperation
and you.
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moon-lit-stars · 2 months
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Your name feels unfamiliar in my mouth
I hesitate when i call out your name
It feels unfamiliar on the tip of my tongue
It feels unfamiliar when your lips meet mine
And i i i hesitate
Not knowing what to call you
Your name too unfamiliar and anything else a scam
My mind knows every inch of yours
Yet your name isn't one of them
Saying your names fills me up with nervous recklessly restless energy
I feel it ripple through every fibre of my being
Human lives are feeble
Hearts are fragile
And names a fraud
My voice feels unknown when it says your name
So tell me now, my darling love
What do i call you if not by your own name?
Do i call you mine or do i repeat your name
Till it feels as familiar as your fingers in my hair and my lips on your lips
Whisper your name against your lips again and again
Till it consumes me whole
Till i only know your name
Till i only know you
Till i only know the feeling
Till everything else i know becomes unfamiliar instead
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moon-lit-stars · 2 months
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Your name is a golden bell hung in my heart. I would break my body to pieces to call you once by your name.
Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn
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moon-lit-stars · 4 months
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'You make me feel like I'm in a fever dream
Darling you give me whiplash'
All I wanted was the easy kind of love
The kind of feelings people wrote about forevermore
But love is a mess and it leaves you in an even bigger mess
It leaves a sour taste in your throat
It leaves.
My every heartbeat calls your name
My every heartline forms your name
My every breath longs for yours
My every nerve yearns for your touch
Would you call this love or delirium?
At nights when I lay awake
I hate how much I miss you yet
Not the you that made us us never the you that made you and I 'us'
But the you that made us you and I
We were almost like Damon and Pythias.
How do I forget the things that are engraved on me?
In a small part of my brain waiting for something to spark it
It lays low not thinking about it ever
But when it comes out it stings like the first time I engraved it on my hide.
You try to say something but hold it back in
Holding it back till it eats you up inside
You know letting it out would be like poking a sleeping dragon
There are 99 outcomes to letting it out and 98 of them end in disasters
Disrupting the smug peace that settles.
So I let the words die in my throat
Unexplained and never heard
How do you let them out without knowing the intensity they hold?
The power to comprehend words was always foreign to me
So I kill the words and stay thoughtless instead.
I miss so many people at the same time that I think
I'm more the version of them I remember
Than myself.
Reasons and excuses sound the same when it's a matter of heart
You fall in love once but it kills you a thousands times.
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moon-lit-stars · 1 year
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I stroll around hunting for the moon
A poets lasting hope amidst a sea of nothingness
Staring at the moon once again
You will be my downfall I wonder
She always makes me play the game called love again
Iridescent lights come find the hunter in the night.
Dollar bills and empty promises
That's all you get in a city like this
Forgotten past selves and a pieced together present
My heart's by the sea tonight
I have so much love to give within me
But no way to accept it back.
Europe is for lovers
And you're my sweet nothing
You love like Taylor Swift songs
A love not made for this era
Where love is seen as a weakness
Something to make art out of.
Alterous attraction and midnight temptations
The harder I try to turn my days good
The easier it gets to let go
My heart's in the bar tonight
Waiting hoping longing for yours to walk in
Or take a shot for everytime it thinks of you.
One kiss. This city bears witness to yet another love story
Two kisses. My hands tracing your back not daring to let go
Three kisses. My bandaged heart falls apart bleeding your name
Four kisses. You taste forsaken
One shot. You're leaving your heart behind in a hauntingly familiar city
Two shot. You are the heart being left behind to be haunted in that city
Three shot. You cut out that part of your heart and forget it existed
Four shot. The heart comes back and you're in that bar waiting all over again
Like a wrecked love story
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moon-lit-stars · 1 year
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I’ve been smoking a lot
and starting to doubt
if I’m breathing you in
or smoking you out.
Keaton Henson
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moon-lit-stars · 1 year
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There is something about words. In expert hands, manipulated deftly, they take you prisoner. Wind themselves around your limbs like spider silk, and when you are so enthralled you cannot move, they pierce your skin, enter your blood, numb your thoughts. Inside you they work their magic.
Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth Tale
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moon-lit-stars · 1 year
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Waking up early to see your friends is therapeutic actually everyone should try it
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moon-lit-stars · 1 year
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YOU AND I HAVE BEGUN TO BLUR
A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara / The Great Gatsby (2013) / Video Games, Lana Del Rey / Portrait Of A Lady On Fire (2019) / Hannibal (2013-2015) / Sufjan Stevens, The Only Thing / Unknown
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moon-lit-stars · 1 year
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you guys will never guess what movie I just watched
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moon-lit-stars · 1 year
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Daniel Craig and Hugh Grant being a fictional couple is amazing in many ways, but one of my favorite ways is that in real life, Daniel Craig is sort of known for being hard to work with, and he absolutely hated playing James Bond, while Hugh Grant is notorious for hating acting and being dismissive towards celebrity culture in general.
So the idea of these two old grumpy white men both playing in this fun, colorful little, low stakes whodunit murder mystery and playing the roles of two happy old gay men and knowing they probably relished in it...
Well.
Just add it to reasons to love Glass Onion.
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moon-lit-stars · 1 year
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Forgive me, for all the things I did but mostly for the ones that I did not.
Donna Tartt, The Secret History
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moon-lit-stars · 1 year
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This October is turning out to be the worst October of all October's
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moon-lit-stars · 1 year
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You are broken. But it is broken things that are the sharpest. The deadliest. It is broken things that are the most unexpected, and the most underestimated
Sabaa Tahir, A ​Sky Beyond the Storm
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moon-lit-stars · 1 year
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If I could unlove
I would take all the love I gave
And give it to my younger self with loved hands
She still lives within my ribcage
Caged protected and starving
If I could unlove
I would forget the first mistake I named love
And give it to myself
Love shouldn't be given someones name it should be you
I never knew how to love that's why i named it me
Complicated silent and starving
If I could unlove
I would change the meaning of true love
And give it to friendship
Friends and lovers and in-betweens
How can you say that isn't true love if you haven't found it yet
Eternal unacknowledged and starving
If I could unlove
I would never love again
And give all of me to the moon and stars
Shoulder the overbearing weight of love and everything that comes along
If I could unlove I would only love love
Permanent glorious and satiated.
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