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moontyrs · 7 years

Text

Price of a Soul

Words: 4,374

Chapters: 2 of 13

Language: English

Fandoms: Angel the Series

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Some violence

Characters: Faith Lehane, Angel, Cordelia Chase, Spike, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Lindsey McDonald, Lilah Morgan

Synopsis: Season 1 of Angel, Faith arrives but with a friend. The team must deal with the fallout of past failures as enemies become allies

Angel had gone to the apartment below to make the call, which was taking quite awhile. At least that’s what Cordelia thought as she was pouring over books that had absolutely no information on a rogue slayer. She raised her head and winced, rubbing at a kink in her neck that was quickly developing. Frowning at the book as though it did it on purpose, she sighed heavily and closed it loudly. With a look around she saw that Wesley didn’t even notice. She leaned with her chin in her hand and tried again, a louder, longer sigh. Still nothing.

Just as she was about to clear her throat Angel stepped back into the office. His steps were slow and his head was down. She perked up and threw a pen at Wes to get his attention.

“Angel? Any news?” she asked carefully.

With no answer and not even a glance in their direction, Cordelia looked to Wes who tried again. Clearing his throat he stood up from the desk. “We, haven’t found much yet, did you have better luck then?”

Angel lifted his head and then sat down heavily in the large chair. “They know. In Sunnydale. Actually, it seems she woke up and went right for Buffy.”

Wesley and Cordelia exchanged a look and both moved from their positions to stand near Angel.

“She’s, all right isn’t she?” Cordelia asked. She knew that in the end, everything they were doing, helping Angel with this path, was to lead him back to her. Angel finally seemed to snap out of whatever he had been thinking and nodded, running a hand over his face.

“The Mayor, had a plan for her. Some device that allowed her to switch bodies with Buffy. When the Council came for Faith and actually grabbed Buffy, in her body, she was able to convince them of the truth. They destroyed the device but she did a lot of damage.”

Cordelia winced, who knew what kind of damage she could do while people thought she was Buffy, and honestly she didn’t want to try an imagine it. Wesley on the other hand was already sweating.

“What, I mean, what did she do? Is everyone, safe?”

Angel leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs and gave a rather sad sort of chuckle, that was worrisome. “Yeah, I mean, she, she got caught rescuing some people in a church. Before that she uh, slept with Buffy’s new boyfriend though.”

Then they understood. Cordelia sat on the edge of the arm of the chair and put a hand on Angel’s back.

“I’m sorry. I, didn’t know she’d started dating.” For the first time, Cordelia was a little lost for words, though she had plenty for Buffy.

Angel sat up again and allowed Cordy lean her head into his. “She’s, moved on. I had to talk her down from coming here to kill Faith. She told me, she told me that she moved on, and that it’s new and good and better. Because she can trust him.”

Cordelia’s eyes narrowed and she sat up, opening her mouth to let loose, but Wesley stopped her with a clear of this throat.

“I, am sorry Angel, but Buffy is young. She is living her life, which is what you both wanted. At this point, I think we should put our energies elsewhere. Like, finding Faith.” His voice was reassuring but with that slight tinge of authority meant to guide. Cordelia could have overridden it with her own diatribe but the phone rang. She glared at Wes almost demanding he answer so she could talk to Angel, but he simply stared her down and she stood up with a grumble. With a growl of frustration Cordelia reached for the phone.

"Angel Investigations we help the – " Her usual bright eyed and big smiling response fell into a look of confusion then a frown. Suddenly both men were interested. Angel stood and Wesley removed his glasses leaning forward. With a lick of her lips, Cordelia held the phone out for Angel. "It's, for you."

Angel looked at the two of them then reached for the phone. "Angel."

Wesley's questioning look was met with her shaking her head, still confused. Most of the conversation was simply Angel humming in assent or nodding. At least the part they heard. Finally he hung up and stared at the phone a moment. Then he went for his coat, the two trailing behind him.

"Well?" Cordelia asked anxiously.

Angel turned back to them as he looked through the weapons. "It was a tip. Wolfram and Hart hired Faith, and set her up in an apartment. I'm going to check it out." His voice had gone monotone. Dark and determined.

Immediately Cordelia went to reach for the small crossbow in the weapons. "Not alone you're not!"

Angel grabbed her arm and stopped her. His face softened a bit as he looked at her and at Wesley. "Yes I am. I'm taking the sewers, this is only a visual. No fighting, and I don't want you two getting hurt. Wes, keep an eye on her, I'll be back soon." He turned and left as Wesley stepped up by Cordelia, who was already crossing her arms over her chest unhappily.

"He is just making sure we are safe."

"Says you! Wes he shouldn't be out there by himself and you know it. Especially after that phone call."

He sighed and nodded. He knew she was right, that they should stick to working as a team, but he was hoping Angel was truly just checking out a tip and not dealing with the issue alone. In truth, he was worried about how dangerous Faith could be.

"Well, I guess we're back to research." He stated with a small smile. With an audible groan Cordelia lowered her arms and let her head fall back onto his chest.

"Fine. You go get all those dusty books and I'm ordering lunch."

*************

Faith had done quite a bit of legwork. She knew the area, she knew Angel’s usual haunts, she also knew where he went for information and who squealed to him more often than not. So getting the information to Angel was a piece of cake and he took it like a kid on a sugar binge. They knew timing was everything and so waited just long enough for Angel to be too far gone to run back for anything and for the other two to get comfortable. They would be in the office and they could easily slip into the building to look for the right moment to pounce.

Meanwhile, Wesley had books set aside for Cordelia, he had found some old records of rogue slayers, and was hoping to find some information on how to deal with them. Other than death that was. There had been a few of course, and the Council typically dealt with them quickly. They had to. Not having an active slayer was bad enough. Having one that did more harm than good set them back. The only reason they hadn't been more intent on Faith was that they still had Buffy. Of course, as Faith was activated after Buffy, killing Faith would just call another slayer. Which complicated matters. What he was finding wasn't good. There had been no attempts at rehabilitation in generations. The ones they had made had failed miserably. Hearing soft footfalls he didn't raise his head, he only raised a hand to gesture behind him.

"Ah there you are, Cordelia would you hand me the Compendium behind you? Thank you."

He heard the book slide from the shelf but as he raised his head, he was blinded by it. His head snapping to the side and smacked into the desk, bouncing off of it. Stars burst behind his eyes and he blinked confused. There was no time to adjust as fingers dug into his scalp, pulled at hair and yanked his head back. Faith grinned down at him. She had not seen Cordelia and so she and Spike had slipped in, going in separate directions as they stalked their prey. Wesley asking for a book had made her shrug, after all, live by the book, die by the book, right?

"Hey there Wes. Long time no see, how's that watcher thing working out for you?"

He opened his mouth to answer and she slammed his head down again. This wasn’t really a discussion. Not as far as she was concerned anyway. "It was rhetorical. You know what rhetorical means right? Like a watcher protecting his slayer? Rhetorical, means, not, doing, shit." Faith bit out.

While the end goal may have been breaking Angel, right now she was concentrating on his team. More importantly, Wesley and she had plenty of hard feelings of her own to work out.

Wesley groaned, he couldn't help it. He felt blood trickle over his left eye and his glasses had broken and laid on the desk in pieces. She leaned to his ear and he shivered. "Call in your friend. She's gonna want to see this." Faith smiled politely.

Wesley knew what she meant. Cordelia, she was grabbing food and wasn’t in the office just yet. So she was safe. As long as he could keep Faith occupied anyway. Shaking his head, hope flared that he could take care of this himself. Worse case, he was going to end up mighty bruised, but he just had to keep her busy until Angel came back. He realized Faith would have some unresolved hostility towards him, but it just truly hadn't occurred to him how much, or how dangerous it was. Unfortunately, there was no way to warn Cordelia, to keep her away and within moments he heard her voice.

"Hey Wes, I hope Chinese is okayyyyyyyy" Cordelia sang out as she rounded the corner to the office. Walking in she froze, eyes had gone wide and quickly she dropped the food and looked for the nearest thing that could possibly be used as a weapon.

Wes coughed and jerked his head from Faith’s hand, Faith immediately jerked his head back to stare at the ceiling, neck stretched back so hard he could barely breathe. "Cordelia, run! Now!" He managed to croak out and panicked when Faith loosened her grip and mimicked him.

"Cordelia, run." She whined at her. Letting go of Wes she stepped behind him, hands at his shoulders, digging in and leaned her face against his. “I dare ya.”

Wes winced, he wasn’t sure what was going on but he didn’t like it. He hoped that she really was letting Cordelia go. Perhaps as a message to Angel. He stared at her and mouthed the words please.

Cordelia was torn. Sure, she could run, no way she could take Faith, but that slayer bitch had Wesley! She could maybe at least distract her right? Grabbing a coffee mug she threw it at Faith’s face and ran for her, but Faith was faster. Stepping aside she knocked Cordelia to the ground with a punch to the gut and then shook her head.

“Wow, I knew you weren’t bright but I didn’t think you were downright stupid. One last chance, run.” She added in a hiss.

With a glance to Wes she pushed herself up to standing. He was swaying in his chair, bleeding from the head. Oh she’d run all right. Right to the weapons. She started backing up and Faith just smiled at her. Probably should have been her first warning. Still once close to the door she spun around to run for the weapons, only to run right into someone’s chest. Hands grabbed her upper arms and pinned her in place, she hoped it was Angel but she already knew it wasn’t. Pulling back, she couldn’t budge, the hands were so strong. Shaken slightly she glanced up, right into Spike’s face.

"Well well, always did have a thing for cheerleaders. Gonna scream for me pet?" He purred at her.

Shivers ran over the back of her neck and she swallowed hard, she wasn’t going to scream for him, but it wasn’t from pride. Spike had turned her around and wrapped an arm around her chest, pinning her arms. A strangled sound came out and her head was yanked to the side. His face was in her neck and she closed her eyes just waiting for fang.

Faith took a knee in front of Wesley and made a kind of ‘tsk tsk’ noise as she pushed the blood from his eyes and held his chin so he was looking at the scene behind her. "So here's the deal, Wes. As long as you don't scream, we'll leave her alone. You scream, you beg, then we'll leave you alone. And start on her. Got it?"

Wes tried to nod, his head was killing him. It felt three times larger than it should be. He looked over at Spike, he hadn't bitten her, not yet. He had to find a way to get them to leave her alone. "Just, leave her here and I'll cooperate It’s me you’re angry at Faith."

Spike licked along Cordelia’s neck, causing her to wince in disgust and try pulling away. He had her head pinned in place and he stared at Wesley and Faith. "What and give up fresh blood? I hear those visions make the blood, tasty."

Cordelia felt the sharp intake of breath before she realized it was hers. Eyes widened slightly and she looked at Wesley, truly afraid. They knew about her visions, they were prepared, she didn’t see how either of them were getting out of this. Her fears were realized when Faith shook her head and pulled Wesley’s chin down to look at her.

"Oh no, you both get to come for the ride. But, wouldn't be very fair for us not to invite your boss right?" With that she got up and pulled out a knife. Grabbing Wesley’s hand she pulled the blade along his palm and Cordelia squeaked. Faith just rolled her eyes and Spike licked his lips. Grabbing an empty mug from the desk she pulled Wesley’s hand over it and made it into a fist, letting the blood fill the bottom of the cup.

Dropping his hand she turned on Spike and Faith, pointing the blade towards Cordelia. Spike shook his head. “Sorry luv, not wastin’ a drop o’ this. Will knock her out for ya though.”

With that he bounced her head off the door frame and picked up her limp body. Faith looked at Wes and with no warning, backhanded him and he went limp.

*************

Angel had decided to sneak through the sewers to the apartment building. Hoping to catch Faith off guard, she was dangerous, most slayers were. The difference was he knew the last time that he’d seen her, she had been mentally unstable as well. Which was an even more dangerous situation. He wanted to believe there was hope for her, had tried before to help her. The thing was, Angel knew that you couldn’t help those that didn’t want your help. You couldn’t save everyone, as much as you might try.

He came up the back of the apartments and took to the fire escape, still in the shadows of the building. He knew it was on the fourth floor and he wasn’t taking any chances that she had the halls and stairs ready for him. As he got up to the right floor he found a window cracked open and went to check it out. It overlooked the hallway, and not an apartment, so carefully he pulled the sash open farther and slipped in. The first thing he noticed was that it was quiet. Too quiet, as if no one had lived in the building for a long while. It was the kind of silence that was stale, letting you now it hadn’t been disturbed. The layer of dust didn’t do much more to make him feel good about the situation.

Pinpricks ran up the back of his neck, it screamed trap and he knew he couldn’t turn back now. He needed answers, he needed to get to Faith before she went too far. 4G, that was the apartment he was told about and it was at the end of the hall. He slowly made his way down to the door and halfway down the hall noticed a note on the door. Every muscle in his body tensed up as he told himself it wasn’t for him. It wasn’t part of a trap. As he got up there his eyes scanned the message and he yanked the paper from the door. The handwriting was too familiar and made the whole situation even more dangerous.

Guess who joined the party? Just like old times, mate. Too bad you're neutered, we could have had a lot of fun. No worries though, your friends will keep the slayer and me company till you're ready to join in. P.S. Never did tell me, what's it like breaking a seer?

He crumpled up the note and ran, diving through the window at the end of the hall and jumping down the four flights to the ground. Hitting hard he rolled with the impact. He had to get back to the office. It had definitely been a trap, it just hadn’t been for him.

The sewers would be fastest, so he ran through, water splashing around his ankles as he took the now familiar route back to his apartment in the basement of the building. Rushing into his own living quarters he didn’t bother with the elevator but took the stairs two at a time to the office. He knew withing feet of the door that he was too late. The smell of blood struck him hard, like a slap to the face.

"Cor! Wes!" He called out, in hopes that one of them were there, that both were still alive. All that greeted him was a deafening silence. His call echoed off the walls as if mocking him. He had been so intent on the trap being for him, that Faith was there for him, that he had truly hoped that by keeping the other two away, they would be safe. Especially if he left them at the office. The office was safe, it was his home, it was their sanctuary, now it had been violated in the worst way.

The familiar smell of Cordy’s perfume and Wesley’s books was all but obliterated by the smell of fear and blood. As soon as he stepped into the office he was looking everywhere, trying to picture what had been done to them. There was broken glass, Wesley’s glasses lay mangled on his desk, books were scattered and blood dripped from the chair onto the floor. He saw the stain of it on his mug and without realizing it, he was reaching for it. The smell of human blood was so much stronger than the stuff he usually drank and when he noticed he was staring at it, his hand shook in anger. This was their blood, he knew it. Cordelia’s or Wesley’s, or worse both.

He threw the mug to the wall and watched it break into a million pieces, blood splattering across the wall. There wasn’t enough blood for them to be dead. So they were taken alive, or better yet had somehow escaped. That brief flare of hope was dashed when he saw the knife stuck into his desk, pinning another note. This one again in Spike’s handwriting, though Faith had left her own mark as well.

I am disappointed. You're making this too easy, Angelus. Don’t worry, they are alive. They will be alive for days, don't forget, I learned from the best.

At the bottom, scrawled in the blood of his friends was the message: TAG YOUR IT.

*************

Wesley woke with a groan and tried to shift, but a cool hand to his head stopped him. He was laying on the floor, that much he knew. Giving his head a moment to stop spinning, he opened his eyes and realized they were in a windowless room, there were chairs to the side but he was on the floor, head in Cordelia's lap as she stroked at his hair. He reached up to stop her hand and looked over her face, eyes drifting to her neck and relief flooding him that he saw no marks.

"Hey." He tried to sound normal but it came out more strangled than he’d like. Still he offered a small smile as well.

"Hey." Cordelia replied, her own face pinched in pain, and tightness around her eyes had him frowning as he moved to sit up. She tried to stop him but he held her hand and turned to sit and face her.

"Cordelia, what is it?" His voice held an equal amount of worry and fear. When she simply shook her head and glanced to the door he turned to look as well. Obviously they were locked in but that wasn’t her only worry. No this was more. Before he could press, she swallowed and looked at him. Reaching with her other hand to his forehead where blood had dried.

"How are you feeling? She, she hit you a lot. In the head."

A slight wince at the reminder and he groaned. She reached for him to steady him and he sighed, giving her hand a squeeze of reassurance. "I'll be fine. You look, hurt. Did they . . . "

She shook her head to reassure him and her eyes lit for a moment in anger. "Oh no, I heard them, they'll leave me alone as long as they get to beat on you. Which, I have to tell you was the stupidest thing you've ever agreed to."

A touch of fire threaded her voice and it gave him a small smile to know she was well enough to still yell at him. Her shoulders slumped a bit and she sighed, squeezing his hand back. "But thanks."

Wesley smiled back but heard the door open and jumped, moving to block her from it if he could. Spike came in and tossed a bottle of pain killers and a bottle of water at Cordelia’s feet. With a smirk he lit a cigarette, "That's one innocent not getting' saved huh? An' the watcher's awake. Time to play."

With that he turned and left, closing the door again, Wesley could hear the bolt slide into place locking them in. Cordelia had reached for the bottle like it was a life line and quickly doled out several pills. Wesley looked confused, she had said they hadn’t hurt her but she was nearly desperate for the pills. That’s when he realized, he turned to her quickly, shock and worry threading his voice.

"Cordelia?"

She finished swallowing the pills and handed him the water, making sure she only took what she needed. She knew what he was asking, but she would rather not talk about it and hoped to distract him. "Here, drink the rest. I don't like whatever they've got planned for you.”

Off of his look she sighed, “ I, I had a vision. While you were out cold. I told them I only have visions of innocents in trouble, for Angel to rescue and they left it alone. They seemed almost, excited about it."

Wes knew it was more serious than that, her eyes refused to meet his. Brushing her hair from her face he looked at her. This wasn’t the pain he was used to seeing after a vision hit, this wasn’t just worry, or even anger that they wouldn’t be able save the person. Whatever it was she wasn’t saying, it pulled like a thread of pure fear through his stomach. There was one possibility and it seemed the most obvious. "Cordelia? No, tell me. Was it, this? Us?"

She shook her head and swallowed. She couldn’t, it was just too much. "No, not, not exactly. I mean, sort of. I saw, Lindsey." She eek-ed out hoping it was enough.

"Makes sense that Wolfram and Hart have a hand in this." Wesley grumbled.

These days there was very little that they weren’t doing to try and cause problems for them. Of course, death, torture, seemed a bit much for their usual tactics. The fact that they were stepping it up was not a good sign. Still, he saw there was more and just waited. She started sniffling, shoulders shaking and he wrapped an arm around her. If she had to see, and worse feel, his torture and death before it happened he would kill Lindsey himself for putting her through it. That, was a kind of torture no one deserved.

"He killed me. I'm going to die Wes, and there's no one there. I die alone." She barely breathed it and he went still. His arms tightened around her. He wasn’t there? She hadn’t seen him, or Spike or Faith. Just Lindsey, and just her, and her death. This was no longer about vengeance of a slayer.

“You’re, you’re sure. I wasn’t, there or Spike or anyone? It was, Lindsey?”

Pulling away slightly she wiped at her face, ashamed of having broken down in the first place. With a nod she took a breath and steadied herself. “I’m sure. You were safe, I don’t know how I know but I do. You were safe and somehow, I wasn’t here, it was someplace else. A lab or something.”

She was so matter of fact about it now that she seemed almost resigned and he refused to give up. Grabbing her shoulders he dipped his head to see her face. Determination fixed his face.

"It won't happen. You know Angel won't let that happen. Neither will I."

She raised her head and her eyes held a sadness and resignation that chilled him to the bone. “I don’t think, you have a choice.”

He opened his mouth to reply but they didn't get a chance to discuss it anymore as the door opened and Spike walked in with a duffel bag and Faith followed, dragging a chair. She rubbed her hands together and smiled.

"Time's up."

#fanfic #angel the series #mature #fan fiction #faith lehane #cordelia chase #spike

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moontyrs · 7 years

Text

Thank You, Again

Words: 2.874

Chapters: 1 of 16

Language: English

Fandoms: Angel the Series

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Allusions to violence

Characters: Angel, Cordelia Chase, Spike, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Winifred Burkle, Charles Gunn, Lorne

Synopsis: Cordelia makes her goodbyes and is ready to leave. Well, as ready as she can be, but Angel throws a wrench into the plans and a shared memory of the fanged four may hold the key to saving them all.

It had been a long day, but a good day. Angel felt more himself than he had in a long time. Cordelia was back, they had defeated Lindsey and saved Doyle’s name. He felt like he’d actually done something. For too long he had gotten trapped in the business end of things here at Wolfram and Hart that he forgot what it was to actually be part of the fight. To finish the day with a talk, was good. It was, tinged with more regret than he liked, but in the end, Cordelia restored him to himself. He would get back on his path, he would find his shanshu and he would make a difference. Just as they had said they would in the beginning.

"I, uh... just wish I could be there to see it."

Cordelia’s words seemed to echo in his mind and he felt his chest contract. He had just gotten her back, she had been right, he needed saving, more, he needed her. She was his heart, she was their heart. Everything had gone wrong from the time he let her go. No, he realized it wasn't that he'd let her go, he'd sent her away. He had thought he was being selfless, sending her off with Groo so she could be happy. What it was, was cowardice. Rather than discuss their feelings, what had happened at that ballet so long ago, he would send her off. It had all gone wrong after that. Hadn’t they just discussed that? The missed chances? Now that he had hope again, now that he knew he could get back on track he was not going to lose her again. His head came up and he stared at her, willing her to look him in the eye.

"What do you mean? You're not..." He couldn’t even finish the thought.

This was breaking her heart. Cordelia would have done anything to stay. Well, almost anything. It probably would have been an option, but it was more important to her to save Angel. The choice given was simple, at least for her. She couldn't let him continue down this path. It hurt to watch her friends slowly falling to paperwork and becoming consumed, absorbed, by the Senior Partners. So in the end, she'd give up everything for him, for a chance to save him.. Part of her realized she had already made that choice, long ago. Her eyes lifted to his and she tried for a sad smile.

"I can't stay. This isn't me anymore. You can say good-bye to the gang for me, explain everything once you understand." She prayed he did understand.

She couldn't mean it. She wasn't leaving them, him. Now now. He could feel his demon rising, the animal like urge to keep her. She was the only one that accepted him as he was. She loved him, he knew it, all of him. What he was, what he could be, and she didn't try to dismiss what he had been. It spoke to his demon as much as his own unbeating heart. His demon growled, wanting to claim her if it would keep her there. He pushed it down, knowing that wasn’t the way and walked over to her. Staring down with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"That's gonna be never. I’ll never understand you leaving. I need you. Here. Now." Flowery words weren’t going to work and he was no good at them. So he went for straight truth.

She couldn't do this. She thought she could, but now that she had to say good bye she knew she couldn't. She couldn't do this and survive, her soul was being ripped in half. Everything had been for him, and now, now when they could possibly have a chance, she had to leave? Shaking her head she went to stand up, trying to take a step back from him and finding she couldn’t. Silently she cursed the Powers. They should have known. About Jasmine, about her ascension about everything. It shouldn't have come to this. It wasn't anger for herself, it was the feeling they had abandoned their champion, they had put Angel in this position and while she would do anything to get him back on track, hadn't she just proven that, she shouldn't have had to.

"Don't make it hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road... and this is my off-ramp. The Powers That Be owed me one, and I didn't waste it. I got my guy back on track." She smiled again, a false smile but it was all she could do to try and convince him.

"Cordy, there's just—" So much to say, he couldn’t get it out. It was stuck, like a knot in his throat.

She knew what he wanted to say, she knew it and hoped he knew she felt the same. The only problem was, she couldn't bear to hear it. She just couldn't. Not now. She took that step then, but towards him, close enough to feel him, she always could. He didn't have heat coming off of him, he didn't breathe so there was no breath on her, but she felt him, as real and solid as anything else. No, more so. He had always been more real to her than anything else. While he might have held onto her to ground himself, he had always been grounding her. Lifting a hand she cupped his face and tried for a smile.

"We take what we can get, champ, and we do our best with it. I'll be seeing you."

There, she did it. She said good bye. It was probably the best performance of her life, and she was never prouder of how stoic she was being. Turning she headed for the door. She knew within three steps that she'd never make it and shook her head, the tears threatening to spill. Turning she rushed towards him.

"Oh, what the hell. One for the road? "

She was leaving him, and he couldn't stop her. She wouldn't let him. He would have told her, everything. Laid his heart and soul out for her, let her know that he couldn't be here without her. That his Shanshu meant nothing, without her, but she wouldn't let him. Knowing that it would have changed everything. Part of him wanted to blame her for that. What was so important that she had to leave him? Whatever it was, he knew she wouldn't be leaving if it wasn't important, he had faith in that. Even as he fought to stay still, to not follow her. His entire body had tensed with the need to stop her. Then she turned and his arms opened for her before she even got there. A flicker of hope that she was staying, though he knew that wasn’t it. It was meant to be a goodbye kiss he knew it the moment their lips touched, but he refused to let it be just that. He put everything he had into the kiss. Every emotion and need, every missed chance, every unspoken word. He was hoping, praying silently to the powers that it was enough. If he'd done anything right in his long life, they wouldn't take her from him. Not this time.

He didn't hear the phone, filtering it out of his mind, wanting this moment to be forever. She pulled back and then he heard it, seeing her glance to the desk.

"You know, um... I don't...I don't need to get that." He tried, hoping to somehow just sink back into each other, to make the moment an eternity.

She knew what it was as soon as she heard it. It was her cue. The Powers reminding her that her time was up. She'd obey, she'd leave, she had done what she came to do, they had held up their end of the bargain. She was still planning on giving them an earful when she got backt, however. They may not understand human emotion, but they were going to get a crash course. Stepping back she smiled sadly, giving her hands something to do seemed imperative and so she fixed his lapel.

"That you have to get." She swallowed.

He looked down at her, a feeling of dread like nothing he'd ever felt flooded him. He couldn't let go of her, he was sure if he did, she was lost to him. The moment he let her out of his arms, she would be gone. She was already pulling back and reluctantly he let go of her to get the phone. That quickly she had moved to the door, watching him.

"Oh... and you're welcome." She whispered, and was gone.

*************

There was light, blinding both eye and soul, and she closed her eyes against it, until finally she had become a part of it again. Cordelia looked down at herself, she wasn't wearing the white gown she had been the first time or even the second time she met up with the Powers. She was in that stupid hospital gown from Wolfram and Hart. With a frown she looked up to see them standing across from her. Quietly watching and boy did she have plenty to say to them. Her hands went to her hips and she narrowed her eyes at the twins, who seemed more interested in the water bowl in front of them.

"Someone want to explain? I did what you said, I didn't tell him about me, at least not the truth, and I got him back on track. So now what? Or was that goodbye punishment enough for me? Look I get that emotions might be foreign to you guys, but they are a lot more dangerous than you think. And you shouldn’t be just, just, playing with them!"

"You are not being punished. You are being rewarded."

"You both are."

The look of confusion was quickly replaced by a narrowing of the eyes. She knew better. These two had an odd idea of punishment and reward. They had weird ideas on a lot of things. Not to mention the fact that they still hadn’t looked up at her. That’s when it hit her. They were keeping an eye on Angel, she took a step towards them, hands falling to her sides.

"You didn't believe I could do it! That's it isn't it? You thought he was too far gone!"

"There was concern that the champion had gone too far off his path."

"However we granted your request that you try and reach him.”

Finally they looked up at her. The unmoving and emotionless looks she had grown accustomed to, though still didn’t like. Her own face fell into a look of surprise, that quickly morphed into one of anger.

"My request? Excuse me, but you owed me, big time! As a matter of fact I would say you still owe me! If you had a little more faith in your champion he wouldn't have gotten so far off track!"

She had been trapped, given little to no choice to what happened. Not to her friends, not to Angel and definitely not to what happened to her own body and soul! It was a violation and allowing her 24 hours as some solid spirit thing in order to at least give her friends a chance wasn’t some favor! It was, to her mind, a crumb of what she deserved.

"We realize this. We also heard his request."

"And we have granted it."

Cordelia blinked, his request? Who he? Wait, they must mean Angel, but, what request did Angel have time to make? She was thoroughly confused and opened her mouth to ask but then there was a hand on her head and she felt weak, tired. Images flooded her mind and a whisper that she would understand, given time, and then just like that, it was gone. She drifted back into the void.

The light had receded, she remembered that, there had been nothing but darkness, and images flying through her brain. Yet now there was some light battering at her eyelids. She felt groggy, still not fully in her own body and with a groan she raised her hand to cover her eyes. It was almost impossible, her arm felt like it was leaden, like she didn’t have the strength she needed. Slowly she blinked and opened her eyes. Above her were lights, bright lights, and she felt sick. Shouldn't heaven be nice or something? Maybe a beach but not this! It looked like, the ceiling, in the hospital. Realization dawned on her and she tried to sit up, but suddenly there was a nurse there pushing at her, trying to get her to lay back down. She panicked and pulled at the IV, another nurse was there and suddenly she was overwhelmed, people talking over each other, to her, and she felt weak and sick. She had to get out of there. Was it a reset? Did she have to do the whole day over?? She couldn’t, she didn’t have the strength. The doctor entered and frowned as he came over and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Ms. Chase! Please! I have called Mr. Angel and he is on his way." It was the worst thing he could say.

"What? Angel? No no no no nononono! He can't see me like this! I'm not supposed to be here!"

She renewed her attempt to disconnect herself, the doctor barking orders to get a sedative and a nurse trying to quickly take care of the IV before blood went everywhere. He didn’t understand, how could he, she didn’t! She was confused, panicked she knew but she had said goodbye! She had done what she was supposed to and she had made her exit. A pretty damn good one too! She pulled at the thin sheet and blanket to try and get up but found she could barely move her legs. The flurry around her died and she stiffened then slowly looked up.

*************

Angel glanced back and found Cordelia gone. His eyes closed in pain. It hadn't been enough, he hadn't been enough.

“Thank you.” He whispered, hoping somehow, she could hear him. His attention back to the phone.

"Yes? Yes I’m here. Wait, what? But she was just here, I. . . "

Confusion furrowed his brow but as the words sunk in, the truth hit him and he looked around his office. He couldn't smell her in the office anymore, not even the lingering scent she had seemed to leave everywhere she went. There was nothing to say she had been there, nothing on the chair to say someone had sat there, nothing. She wasn’t there, it hadn’t been real. Not really.

"I'll be right there." He growled and hung up, leaving his office.

Angel rushed down to the med bay, Cordelia had shown signs of waking up they said. Which made no sense since she had just been there with him! He still didn't understand what was going on but he was getting a clearer picture. She must not have woken up, or she had died and come back. It wasn't his first time getting a visit from someone that shouldn't be around anymore, so he knew that her goodbye was not her choice. That her time had been limited, again. Which also meant if she was waking up, truly waking up, he was going to make sure no one and nothing was taking her away again. He had pushed through the nurses and luckily by the time he got to the room they knew enough to let him through. He stopped, everything stopped. There she was in the bed, she'd never actually gotten up. She couldn't have because the Cordelia he was looking at was not the one he'd spent the day with. She was thinner, weaker. He could see bags under her eyes like bruises, her cheeks hollowed out, her hair a mess. Still, he couldn't believe she was still there. He could smell her, hear her heartbeat and frantic breathing. Her eyes slowly raising to his and he could read the confusion and the fear in them.

"Uh, hey." She tried. She had no idea what was going on, and was afraid to even take the chance that they would see each other, only to be torn apart again.

"Hey." He breathed.

It was real, how could he have thought what happened before was real? Her smell, it was here, as well as the smells of the hospital. The smell of death receding even as he noticed it. Walking slowly to the bed the doctor got up, motioned to the others to back away. Angel barely noticed them as he sat down in the place the doctor had vacated. His eyes never left her, he didn’t dare. Afraid she would disappear again. Lifting a hand to her face, he brushed hair behind her ear and then slowly smiled. This was real, she was real and solid. Pulling her into a hug he let out a shuddering breath, the first he'd taken in so long. His words coming out thick and low as he held her.

"They heard me, thank you. Thank you."

#fanfic #cangel #mature #angel the series #cordelia chase

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