kara / sett, FIN, 23, she/they, ace | AO3 dolldaughter | alter's wife. i love my losergirl
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we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies
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really is embarrassing being known for being obsessed with a certain character bc if you start typing ‘arghhh i love Character so much Character is so peak’ it’s like yeah everyone knows. aw look grandma’s going on about her favorite old story again the fifth time this week
#me with alter like genuinely everyone in my life atp knows how obsessed i am 😭#im so happy when people randomly send me alter stuff or stuff that reminds them of alter#im like YESSSSSSSSS THATS MY GIRLFRIENDDDDDDDD#i think about her every day i make everything about her. Literally everything. my mind is unstoppable#if id just write more...
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remembered my youth (few years ago)
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the things alloromantics consider "more than platonic" never cease to baffle me. cuddling? sleeping next to each other? petting each others' hair? kissing? telling each other how much you mean to each other? why WOULDN'T you do these things with your friends. why DO you need to be romantically attracted to someone in order to express your affection for them.
i guess all these things feel obviously platonic to me, because i've had my friends since we were all mentally ill autistic teenagers, but it feels absurd that some people think anything beyond a hug is automatically romantic. acts of affection and their intentions are defined by the people involved, nobody else. and frankly, some of you don't know how wonderful it is, to be a sleepy aromantic embraced on all sides by a group of people you'd trust your life with.
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(crouching down to lay my hand on a post, trying to determine if my mutual could still be online) still warm...
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ouuuuggg i miss my wifeeeee i miss her i miss her i miss my princess i miss yingling lui alter apex legends i miss herrrr i miss you alter i miss my wifeeeeeeeee
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affirmations for writers: i know how to write. i have seen sentences before, and i know how to make one. i can identify up to several words and their meanings. i am not afraid of semicolons.
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Yuzuha doodle :) I used rgb sliders to color and it’s really satisfying
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i need to yap about being aroace while being hypersexual in the height of my being undiagnosed and unmedicated for years.
mdni!
i run this blog with the intention of freely writing from my imaginations with the characters i love and freely talk about all things that a fan would usually do. it started with toji. and yes, i simped for him and all. i found him hot and even wrote smutty reader-inserts… and it just branched off from there.
but my god… i just never find anyone in real life sexually attractive. and im so not interested in a romantic relationship either, at least not now. i just don't feel attraction, and most of the time i get uncomfy seeing pda, and shitty people disgust me so it doesn't help. im neurodivergent, and it's not that i don't like people. i do. i really do and i wish i can let go of my standards and connect with people and accept them for who they are.
but i've been hurt and betrayed a lot. i am very careful of who i let in my life and this resulted in lots of acquaintances and superficial relationships. which i dont hate. networking is important. but im on a quest in finding my people. and i have faith i will get there.
anyway. stop reading if you're uncomfy!! this is just me yapping to the void about my sexuality.
i like the idea of sex. when i was still unmedicated, i pleasured myself a lot. i was so obsessed with the feeling. it didn't matter who i was thinking about, i just wanted to feel good. but imagining myself having sex with another person just doesn't do it right for me. because if i'm not attracted to you, then why should i be sleeping with you? it will take a lot of work for me to actually open up and be intimate with someone.
i need to feel attracted to be in a relationship, let alone have sex. and me feeling physical attraction is little to nonexistent makes it hard for me to navigate seeking relationships, so i kinda just gave up on it. most people my age where i'm from don't really understand/are not compatible with people like me, so why bother? when i find people hot, i just find them beautiful. and there really is nothing beyond that.
so in a way, writing about fictional characters helps me with my frustrations and it helps me get to know what i want in a partner. which makes it even harder but like, i don't know. if love happens to me and some miracle that i actually fall in love, then it happens. at this point i'm really doing my best to accept love with open doors, but yeah, i have to actually be in love and like i said, it's hard when you just don't feel it!! 😭
oh my god. when i had a crush, i didn't realize it until i felt hurt when i saw him confessing his feelings to someone. or that one time when a former friend pointed out to me that i hang around too much with a girl and told me that's how crushes work. i was a teenager and had no idea that was how attraction works.
now that i'm an adult and taking medication, i still feel sexual urges, but it's not as bad unlike before.
if you ask me how i want to be loved, surprisingly, sex is out of the picture. i want to do things for them, and i want them to do things for me. i want to take care of them and make them happy, but i also want to feel the same way. point is, i want it to feel mutual, and i want to feel understood for my sexuality, and accept me for who i am. because i will do the same.
if they want sex, then okay, we could do that, but like, i can genuinely live without it. and i would prefer it that way until i'm comfortable enough to be vulnerable with them.
this is why i don't date around, have flings and casual sex and all. i don't have anything against it and people who do them, but yeah it's more of a preference, the influence my sexuality has on me and MAJOR trust issues 💀 plus im mentally ill and i really dont want people knowing about how crazy i can get 😭
anyway to end this, if you're an aroace reading this, your feelings are valid. you are valid. don't let anyone make you believe otherwise. you are free to explore and live your life and you WILL find people who understand you. love is not just about romance and sex. humans are not one-dimensional beings and we are all multifaceted. i know it's going to be hard to be in romantic and sexual relationships and connecting with partners, so i'm letting you know that it's okay to indulge with the idea of love from time to time!! you're not behind in love. it will come to you ー to us.
don't beat yourself up for not being like everyone else. you're perfectly fine just the way you are. ♡
L
#i hope this is ok to rb#dm me if it isnt and ill delete it!!#but i wanted to rb because i just feel the same way#as an aroace who cant really label myself other than this umbrella term#my view on romance and intimacy has always been so so different from those around me#ive even had people ask “how could you even think that isnt literally romantic” about something ive thought can be platonic or familial too#and now TW for SA — but i was SAd as a kid and it left me scarred#my mind blocked it but i became hypersexual#i didnt do anything with anyone but with only myself and it was constant. id even do it in public#(which is also why it icks me to see people romanticize and misuse the term hypersexual on ig and tt. it was a real problem for me)#every time i try to date someone it just feels wrong because i just cant feel the same way. so i break it off shortly#even if i love them. my love isnt the same kind. i cant describe it. its real but its not the same. so i feel like a fraud#so im better off alone really because i dont think ill ever meet anyone who understands#but if i ever do.. i dont know. even the idea feels so weird#but either way#op reading this made me feel so validated and so seen because ive never seen anyone say it like this. like how i feel#and it comforts me to know im not alone
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if you say “but aros can still date!” about your aromantic blorbo, I need you to mean it. you can’t make the ship just boring old romance.
your blorbo is still aromantic, so how would that color their relationships? how would that affect their daily life? do they struggle with feeling “greedy” because they can’t love their partner back the way their partner loves them? do they have a hard time with an allo partner because on a fundamental level they don’t quite understand what romance is like, even if they’re experiencing it? on the positive side; what societal boundaries of romance do they cast aside or embrace? how do they navigate a romantic relationship differently than their peers? if it’s an aro4aro partnership, how is it unique? how much does being aro define their relationship vs. just their own personal quirks? is that even a line that can be drawn?
an aro relationship is different from an allo one. I promise, it’s so much more fun to explore what that means and the consequences of that than just “oh aros can date so they’re dating in the same way any allos would”.
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getting one (1) note from the Rare Mutual is like


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