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^^he gay

MASCULINITY AND HOMOSEXUALITY

The problem is that homosexuality and effeminacy are virtually synonymous in the modern public’s mind. All men who love men are stigmatized as being intrinsically effeminate. Men who engage in homosexual sex are expected to embrace gay culture and are believed, especially by other homosexuals, to be ‘girls on the inside’—no matter how they look and behave, or what their interests may be. As I mentioned above, a sense of manhood is important to most men. Yet, simply by acknowledging same-sex desire, men are expected to relinquish their manhood. They must submit to psychological castration. While this may seem like no great loss to effeminate men who never put much stock in manhood, what of those who do hold masculinity in high regard? What of those androphiles who love men and love being men, for whom masculinity is a thing of beauty and value? I don’t love men because I see myself as girlish; I love men because I’ve developed a deep-seated appreciation for men and for masculinity itself. Men fascinate and inspire me. I love them in their finest moments, but also in the midst of struggle. Just watching men is a pleasure; I see in them innumerable qualities that women often fail to appreciate. I appreciate these things precisely because I am a man, because their masculinity is a reflection of my own. And yet, for this, in some perverse twist of reason, I must give up my own manhood? For this, I am regarded as effeminate and expected to entertain myself with girly things? Fuck that. - Jack Donovan

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Helping the twinks at Gigis

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update 8.8.13.

The last time that I wrote a blog like this, I was in a completely different place. If you want any of that, I’ll attach the link. Here’s for the new stuff. I admit, Detroit has grown on me in a large way.  To be honest, for a large part of the year that I was here, I faced a lot of struggles alone. My friends would be there, but I kept a lot of things in my head. I was not confidence in my ability, my appearance, my future, and my purpose. In the last few months, I have managed to turn things around in a very large way. I learned to let myself be free. I allowed myself to enjoy life. I paid off my debts. I began accepting myself. I began to see the potential I have, and all of the opportunities that have come my way.

Detroit is not a horrible place. Nor is it the best place. But it is an importance place, where I learned a lot. I cannot say that I would want to spend the rest of my life here, but I am absolutely glad I came to WSU. Midtown is truly the gem of the city, with a community not unlike (but not very much like) a college town. The sense of community is remarkable here, and there are tons of things to do.  You just have to be open to experience new things.

A casual remark that I get is that I’m leaving because I didn’t like the dance program at WSU. That could not be farther from the truth. I cherish greatly the education I received in my two semester pit stop at Wayne State. The professors are top notch, with varied skills, specialties, and credentials. Most professors I never felt uncomfortable talking to after class, or asking a question.  The dance training I received at WSU will carry on with me and influence me for the rest of my career. The academic dance work was quite engaging; it opened up my mind to a whole new world of thought. I think of dance completely different that I did when I arrived in Detroit. While performing in Company One (a freshmen performance company), I learned a lot about work, practice, and about commitment. I’ve never invested myself in a piece as I did in that company.  I had such an amazing experience dancing for WSU, and I’m grateful to be able to take it with me as I further my training.

Kalamazoo is where I began my adult life journey, and I have hoped and dreamed to attend the school since I was a sophomore in high school. The ultimate goal was to go to WMU as a dancer, and stay there and graduate. I put in some valuable attempts, unsuccessfully, and went soul searching and ended up in Detroit.  I lived here, I learned a lot, but when I go to Kalamazoo, I am home. There is a swell in my heart, when I get off the Stadium Dr. exit. I am 100% myself when I am in Kalamazoo. Every time I had to leave the town, I never wanted to and would stall hours, making myself late to whatever obligation dragged me away. I am invested in the city of Kalamazoo, and its events and activities. I love WMU, a school that I call home, and will forever call home.  The tight-knit community is so warm and welcome. People are afraid to say hello to a stranger. You can walk at night with little fears.  It’s a different experience than Detroit.

So when I got my acceptance letter to WMU Dance, I knew within one minute that I had reached my destination. With perseverance, training, and a healthy dose of reality, I made my dream come true. I knew it was time to go home.

To all the amazing friends that kept close to me throughout my one year excursion to Detroit, thank you so much for making the journey as adventurous as it was.

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We all agree that Josh Hutcherson looks like Squirtle

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I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to any of the Glee Cast.

I don’t think I ever will be.

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Dear Gleeks,

I know we fight a lot saying you stole Darren away from us and we just tend to bicker about almost everything you guys do, and you do the same to us. We fight with the fans that found us through your show and we’re just flat out selfish, but even in the recent events, we’d like we extend out arms to you and give you that brotherly shoulder to cry on.

Cory was an amazing person and loved each and every one of you, never forget that.

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more tears

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tears.

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“come on, give me a hug before i go”

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started from the bottom and i am currently still at the bottom

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Chris - and almost everyone’s - doubts on Glee

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sweet fucking god 

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my future husband