mycatisblued

[mycatisblued]

who are you fucking

im fucking tired bitch that’s who

[mycatisblued]

My greatest tragedy is that I literally always want a nap, right up until ten pm, when I feel utterly alive and electrified.

[mycatisblued]

Losing suicidal ideation is naturally more complicated than I thought, because isn't everything always?

"Now That She's a Tapestry"

Death was a blanket.

I wore her for comfort.

I wore her to stay off the cold.

I joked about her, kept her name in my mouth at every turn.

I stopped trying to find clothes that fit.

I wrapped her around me while whispering that I would never touch her.

Not like that.

I understood that it was an easy trap to fall into.

Somehow I was an exception.

I wanted her more than anything.

She was my deity.

My certainty.

My stability.

She still is.

And yet...

Death was a blanket.

Now she's a tapestry.

She'll help with the cold, but I have to do my part now to find other ways to keep the heat.

Isn't that a pain?

I get so angry about the absense of that want.

I glare at the wall where she hangs in fury.

I pace and I rage and I collapse and I cry.

I never knew how badly I craved her until that craving was gone.

Never knew how loudly she sang until the noises of the world were left to compete with silence.

At first, when I threw her off, I was just happy.

A weight lifted, I had thought.

And then the thoughts came around again, the ones that creep and crawl and let the chill in.

She wasn’t there.

I missed the weight.

She stares at me now.

Reminds me that she is so much more than what I had used her for.

That she is bigger than just this one body.

I'll joke about her again.

In time.

She's funny, after all.

A unique sense of humor.

I hate her and I love her, just like anyone.

I'm the one that left her.

Technically.

She should really be the one that's mad.

But she's patient.

Unlike me.

She can wait.

It's me who has to learn.

Now that she's a tapestry.

[mycatisblued]

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

[mycatisblued]

the weirdly vengeful and petty tones aborted babies take in pro-life propaganda images are so funny like this passive aggressive "was it worth it mommy?" and "it's a shame you can't join me in heaven mommy 😔" like do you ever wonder if you were aborted for a reason you little bitch ass baby

[mycatisblued]

[mycatisblued]

Putting those words on a dating profile in the area of what I'm looking for with an asterisk about how i may require more than just one

dude.... the job market's in absolute shambles

[mycatisblued]

I'm sorry, I don't have the money to fund this or else the job "service animal for beautiful women" would be available

dude.... the job market's in absolute shambles

[mycatisblued]

“these are the most beautiful women in the galaxy, but where are the men?” happy pride to bisexual bones

[mycatisblued]

not having a beverage can kill you. you can’t live on water alone that’s insane

[mycatisblued]

I just think it's poetic that Ava, the character introduced as someone whose fall to villainy was intrinsically tied to her chronic pain and relies on her suit to literally stay together, is the one to immediately grab Bucky's prosthesis.

THUNDERBOLTS* SPOILERS BABY!

Bucky getting his arm ripped off again and being thrown across the room, only for Ava to quickly snatch up the arm, as Walker is already pulling Bucky upright, so that Alexei can toss him over his shoulders like a rag-doll, while Yelena runs for the elevator.

— Thunderbolts*

i love how they all came together for Bucky 😭

[mycatisblued]

Happy Easter to everyone!

No disrespect, today I am personally celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ aka Tashi Duncan following her crucifixion (Stanford vs Pepperdine match injury etc.) and death (the moment where she is leaning against the tree and accepting that her dreams of becoming a pro tennis player etc. are officially dead etc.)...

This is my fan theory/analysis and I am sticking to it lolll...

[mycatisblued]

Like for real, fuck you, if they can't work then I'm happy to work a little harder.

I fucking hate that the general response to RFK Jr's eugenist take on autistic people is "autistic people do pay taxes, autistic people do work, autistic people do date!"

Some autistic people don't and that shouldn't make them less worthy of life. Some autistic people do need constant help and support and that shouldn't make them less worthy of life.

Once again we're falling in the right wing trap of :

They make a hateful, fascist statement

Instead of focusing on the fact that it is hateful and fascist we try to show them that they are factually wrong

We throw our own allies and the most vulnerable of us under the bus in the process

We legitimise an only slightly less hateful, fascist view as we go

They have completed their goal of making us accept the still hateful, fascist second version, hurrah. What a victory.

Right now what we're getting to with that is that autistic people who can work and pay taxes are okay, and the others aren't. Fuck this shit.

Same thing happens with the people who are being deported ("they have a visa!", "they didn't even have a criminal record!" -> even if they didn't have a visa, even if they did have a criminal record, deporting them and detaining them in what's essentially a concentration camp wouldn't be okay, you absolute tools of fascism.)

[mycatisblued]

A dog who is very very shy became obsessed with me because I was just openly telling a story very passionately.

She was scared at first because she's always scared of people.

And then I ignored her because I wasn't gonna pressure her, and was focusing on telling my aunt and uncle a story, and she approached me and literally jumped up on her hind legs for pets and attention as I kept telling the story while petting her.

My aunt made a confused face and said, "This is very unusual behavior. She has never done this."

[mycatisblued]

This was exactly the lesson I learned after my latest manic episode - need to watch this movie again after having given myself intensive therapy lmao

Literally my version of a bipolar person believing they are God or have superpowers is just believing something without literally any doubt

"Leave room for Jesus" aka a healthy amount of doubt loll

This was why I did not understand what the hell my nurse practitioner was talking about when she was trying to give me examples of what I should be looking out for during my manic episode.

She needed to flat out say "ma'am, have you been TOO CERTAIN of anything lately without any doubt??"

Because my ass is probably autistic so I take things too fucking literally, so when she gave those as examples, I just thought, "well I don't think I'm a deity or a superhero so I must be okay even though I'm manic right now" 🙃🙃🙃

So, yeah, that's literally just it. Believing something without a doubt is probably just any bipolar person but my ass didn't get around to doing the research that probably says exactly that lmaooo

Conclave 2024, dir. Edward Berger

[mycatisblued]

When I was a kid, my uncle asked me if I liked my name because I always said it didn't feel right and I didn't like it. And he asked me what I would like to be called instead, and he said he would call me that if I wanted it, and he would tell other people to as well.

Loll he has always been very loud, so I know he would have made people listen.

I said the name I liked the most at the time was "Max" and we tried that out. He tried calling me it a few times but I said it didn't feel right, so it was fine and he could just call me Amy.

I think we all go through times where our name does or doesn't feel right, and we should always get to choose it.

But I think that even though it felt strange sometimes, I also remembered that my sister, who has always been a mother to me, was the one who picked it.

And honestly? She has really good taste lolll.

Especially when it's one of the names that means "beloved."

[mycatisblued]

Thank you, that's just it and I couldn't remember at the time that I saw the TikTok lmaooo

Okay I get the joke about the like dinner for schmucks with republicans scenario and how that would be so fun but also there's the other scenario people mention all the time too that I think sounds more fun even though it's a lot harder and takes more time and energy.

It's the one where first you gotta like sneakily get really close to them and be really nice and get to know them and their strengths and weaknesses and kind of learn to love them a little despite their flaws and have them fall for you.

Then the moment they're faced with all your amazing friends (who you have warned and they've said yes it's okay I'm okay with that as long as we are in a safe space where they cannot harm me) if they try to act like a dick to them we all bully them into submission by telling them the truth very sweetly and gently, especially you, and if they can't take it and they run away screaming and crying then oh well, we are still having fun at our party while they are crying into their pillow.

And then we cut them off completely and tell them it's because they disrespected our friends and therefore us and themselves, and you will never even speak to them unless they show you they've changed and won't purposely hurt the people you love.

This part can be changed depending on if you're willing or able to be in their life safely in any way but still very firm and consistent with your views etc.

Then they either decide to stay the same but always wonder what could have been or they do decide to change their ways because they really want you in their life. And you only let them near your friends with supervision and always make sure your friends are safe first until you're sure they changed.

And if they do stay the same maybe they get super rich by being a total asshole but then one day when they're old and grey they realize that no one in their life was ever as loving and honest as all the people at your party.

And then they realize they fucked up and it's too late for them, but maybe they could give away all their money to help the people like the people you loved and they have a Scrooge moment basically.

That has absolutely been done before like a million times, right?

That's just real life loll

This has to be a post that has been posted by a million different people in a million different ways over and over again throughout the years.

These plans were drawn in the sand with children's fingers and with blood on cave walls.