mypissedoffsandwich - Tumblr blog

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sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

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When I say the Black brothers are dramatic little cunts, what I really mean is that Regulus is dramatic and Sirius is theatric. Regulus is out here writing sad boy poetry and regularly lays prone in the middle of the floor when he’s had a shite day, while Sirius is tossing out Shakespearean-level insults while dancing on the bar.

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Frank: I don't know what's worse.

Frank: The fact that I used to think I was related to Octavian,

Frank: or the fact that I'm related to Percy.

Percy: *drinking pure lemon juice* Why is that a bad thing?

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How zionists talk about the murder of 4, 8 and 10 years old children

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No PJO headcanon got me in a tighter chokehold than Percy being Rhea's lookalike and Jason being Kronos' lookalike.

The FLAVOUR!!! The POTENTIAL!!!

The Big Six mixed feelings about them, the uncanny feeling of seeing your parents in kids that look up to you

Jason doing everything to make Zeus proud, but nothing will ever be enough to get his attention and care because he'll always have the face of the person his father hates the most

But then, Percy is the mini Rhea, so even though Zeus hates Percy by default (because that's Poseidon's spawn), he can't stop but paying attention to whatever Percy is doing ALL THE TIME, because he looks like the person he loved the most in his life (before he became everything she despised)

Also, yeah, very nice Percy looks like mom 🥰🥰🥰 hey 🤨 wasn't mom the one to trick dad and ultimately start his downfall??? Maybe we should worry about that 🤔

Hera!!!!! Zeus gave her his DIY version of their father, and he's a mortal that she can rule as much as she likes. The emotional confusion of it all. And, hey, Poseidon just made a DIY Rhea? Yup, she's stealing it from him. Yay, time to play dolls with mom and dad, literally the closest thing she'll ever got from bonding time with her parents.

Luke having to listen to Kronos rant about how much Percy looks like his wife (creepy)

Krios looking at Jason before their fight like "Bro, why do you look fifteen? Weird."

Poseidon accidentally calling Percy mom and never talking about it again

Makes every time Percy complained about the gods sound like a Mom Scolding Time

Jason and Percy being at the same time and place with the Big Six and they're ALL uncomfortable

Zeus SEETHING that Poseidon got little Rhea and HE is stuck with a little Kronos (I'm sorry Jason, my baby, you deserved so much more than him 😭)

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Jason who was raised by a brutal vicious wolf lady and then indoctrinated into the military. Don’t tell me he wouldn’t be the weirdest (most violent) kid in the world

Jason: (seeing a mortal working with Gaea. (I know that didn’t happen roll with me)): well they probably know information

Percy: yeah.

Jason: we should kidnap and torture them!

Percy: WHAT?

Jason: for information. Obviously. It does work if you do it right

Percy: WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!?

Jason: what?

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Jason: I have never broke a law :)

Thalia: you’ve murdered people-

Jason: that doesn’t count bc execution isn’t murder silly :)

Thalia: yes… never mind

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Can it just be canon that Percy just keeps muttering things like "Jesus" or "Christ-" or both together and Annabeth will just be like, "dude, we're Greek."

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i just adore him

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the most "fucking, fair enough i guess" response ive ever gotten to something i said was in the ER

me: hi, i need a rabies shot triage nurse: oh? why's that? me: i got bitten by a bat triage nurse: what were you doing that you got bitten by a bat at 3 in the morning? me: removing a bat from my bedroom

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Imagine being Percy, having to travel to the other side of the fucking country as a 12yo to enter the Underworld and then a few years later you find out there was an entrance in your fucking city. I would be pissed off tbh

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kids who werent raised christian being like "lol baptising children is whack if they tried to do that to me i would start doing things to make it look like i was possessed" no you would not. you would bask in the pride and approval coming from the adults around you and you would quietly wait your turn because you were told from birth that sinning sends you to hell and baptism is The Promise that youre dedicating your life to jesus that youve had hyped up for years and watched other people be fawned over as they cry happy tears about it and you do NOT want to fuck up your One Big True Promise To Love Jesus Forever So You Don't Get Tortured For Eternity when you are literally 8 years old. im begging yall to remember its a thousand times easier to see the church's bullshit for what it is when you're not actively in the church. eight year old you is not thinking about trying to fight back against an oppressive religious group indoctrinating children because You Are The Children Being Indoctrinated. stop acting like you would've magically known better if it were you.

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I’ve always wanted to chug a jar of mayo

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young artist posting your work online, heed my warning. im holding your face so gently in my hands, you have to stop caring about numbers right now and start caring about making the weirdest and most self-indulgent art you possibly can

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finally, it's completely canon

gifs by @alexisrosemullens

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all of the seasoned stardew valley players starting a fresh, year 1 farm today for the 1.6 upgrade