n0isemaker - Tumblr blog

[n0isemaker]

I’m in Poland and they keep showing this pizza advert and it’s amazing.

It starts off with rival pizza makers who argue over who has the best pizza and are driving the customers away

Then there’s this crazy old lady who yells at them from a window to quit it (because where else do you yell business advice from?)

So they work together and do some obvious flirting via pizza montage

And the old lady is all like “just kiss already”

Then they create a pizza together, combine restaurants and live happily ever after with the crazy window lady

[n0isemaker]

occasional posts from users

[n0isemaker]

i want to share with you some of my favourite graffiti from Pompeii

“Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!“ 

“Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.“ 

“We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.“

“Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.“

“On April 19th, I made bread.“

“ I have buggered men.“

“If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend.“

“It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times.“

“Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!“

“Epaphra is not good at ball games.”

“Two friends were here.  While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus.  They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.“

“Secundus likes to screw boys.“

[n0isemaker]

[n0isemaker]

High five?✋🏻

Down low! 🫴

[n0isemaker]

LIVE (nothing wrong with me)

LAUGH (nothing wrong with me)

LOVE (nothing wrong with me)

[n0isemaker]

Why bother arguing in support of trans people if you’re not trans?

very simple concept called believing in human rights

[n0isemaker]

It is imperative that you assemble a collection of tumblr mutuals who are vocal about their deeply specific, highly involved kinks that you don’t share at all. If you humble yourself with the diversity of the human experience enough you can become inoculated against reactionary puritanism permanently

[n0isemaker]

[n0isemaker]

This happened to me, can confirm :3

[n0isemaker]

Mutuals I want you to know that if you are feeling down I am handing you little heart stickers through the computer

[n0isemaker]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

[n0isemaker]

remember in School of Rock where the black girl was afraid to say she wanted to be a singer because she was fat and didn’t want to get laughed at but Dewey was all “who gives a shit, I’m fat too and so is aretha franklin but we’re still valuable and we rock” and then the girl felt better without having to be told that beauty comes in all sizes or some other bullshit. thats the kind of body positivity I’m looking for. tell these babies that they’re worth a damn without tying it to any other arbitrary ideals

[n0isemaker]

Shoutout to whoever it was who informed me a few weeks ago that some types of Zofran have stevia in them because I got to tell my doctor about it today, and he literally made this face behind his mask because he had no idea, and he is also stevia intolerant:

[n0isemaker]

Not all heroes wear capes

[n0isemaker]

[n0isemaker]

If some of you don’t understand why I’m so passionate about helping people understand the DIY and anti-consumerist themes of alternative fashion it’s because I just read an article about punk fashion that had a section dedicated to “shopping some of our punk favorites” that included a $53 pair of fishnet tights

I get my fishnets from the dollar store, I make jewelry out of safety pins and soda tablets cans, I buy “normal” looking clothing at thrift stores and cut it and sew it and wear it so it fits with my style. That’s what it’s about. When punks, goths, emos, scene kids, etc tell you that dressing this way should be cheap it’s because it IS. Don’t let big corporations tell you otherwise