nejackdaw

[nejackdaw]

To have the highest incarceration per capita rate in the world, Vatican City would need to imprison 13 people.

[nejackdaw]

imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey

[nejackdaw]

[nejackdaw]

uncle iroh would be proud of you I think

[nejackdaw]

hello disabled person who is dithering about whether or not to ask for a certain accommodation because you could "technically survive without it". that is the devil talking. you are allowed to demand more than "technically surviving". the world is a shitty ableist place, but if you have the chance to have your needs met in any tiny way you are allowed to take it. and yes, it's still a need even if you can kind of almost technically mostly survive without it

[nejackdaw]

[nejackdaw]

"Yeah hold on, let me change out of my work clothes" [undoes a single button on my hawaiian shirt and nothing else]

[nejackdaw]

dude omg i did NOT “come back wrong” you just remember me as imperfect and now i’m a divinely elevated version of myself with no capacity for wrongdoing. i’m still me dude i’m literally the same basically *all electronics within three feet of me explode* sorry i mean i meant to do that

[nejackdaw]

"you gotta play with the cards you're dealt" WRONG. i play pot of greed which lets me draw two additional cards from my deck

[nejackdaw]

oh shit my leitmotif is on here hold my drink

[nejackdaw]

can I come over and dodge roll into all your breakable furniture

[nejackdaw]

me when i have a bone to pick Lol idk.. im not really sure which one to choose

[nejackdaw]

Admitting it didn’t expect to “see [him] so soon after the beating [his] pale ass took,” the sun expressed surprise Thursday upon discovering that pasty fuck Arnold Walden, 33, had apparently failed to learn his lesson from last summer. “Well, well, well. Look who brought his exposed, lily-white neck back for more,” said the 10,000-degree star, adding while Walden’s baseball cap and SPF-45 sunscreen were “cute,” the local man would need more than that to avoid the ass-whupping its intense ultraviolet rays had in store for his doughy complexion this time.

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[nejackdaw]

I like it when characters are really close friends but theyre like. Bad at friendship. like theyre not great people . theyre not necessarily always good to each other. But they are friends!! Incredibly close friends at that!!!! They're Just Not GOOD At It

[nejackdaw]

in a fandom called my unnamed oc world

[nejackdaw]

um sorry for moaning when you stabbed me. it's been a really long time since anyone touched me like that

[nejackdaw]

I Know What You Want

summary: hornyposting over text. sexting even. smau gn reader, no pronouns or y/n used. feat: Brynjolf, Farkas, Teldryn, Miraak, Vilkas, Mercer warnings: explicit sexual content - minors should not read or interact with this post. lotta swearing, joke about violence. masterlist