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[nxmeolvides]

no but hear me out. ex goes through a loss at the same time that ana loses her grandmother, they essentially get to know each other for the first time despite having been at school together for years. there's bonding, she has someone to confide in, maybe it's the first time she even tries to open up to someone about losing her dad. whole thing of "nobody gets me quite like you do." ana thinks he understands that she's immensely protective of her family/wants to stay with them and stay in uvalde, and it hits her like a sledgehammer to find out he's actually planning on leaving for college. she's too hurt to have any kind of reasonable talk with him about it, and he's not exactly kind in voicing that she can't just stay in uvalde forever and that she's too stubborn over it. they break up after a bad fight, and then it all does just culminate in ana being very reckless and determined to find maria once she goes missing. maybe she's a little too frustrated by everything that's happened to think clearly, and it means she doesn't exercise as much caution as she should when poking around newt. maybe she's a little too curt with drayton after encountering him at the gas station. maybe it helps to seal the group's fate.

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idk there's just something about the implication ana really doesn't have anyone she's close to in uvalde without maria or her mother. there's no close friend going with her to find maria, no family friend, nothing. just a group of her sister's friends from university that she barely knows. i think about it a lot.

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continuing my summer themed thoughts but just thinking about ana really loving sundresses ever since she was a little girl - especially showing them off to her grandmother as she grew up, and deeply treasuring being told she was beautiful in them. she still grew up a little more of a tomboy than maria, but those dresses were so special to her. maybe her grandmother even embroidered a few for her growing up, and that led to her treasured blue shirt. idk. thoughts

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"You know me; I'm always careful!" ( from lucy who's doing something very uncareful-like )

There’s a pause that hangs audibly in the air, then. Ana stares at the woman before her, exasperation and apprehension filling her expression before she shakes it off and steps after her. “There’s careful, and then there’s stupid,” she warns, the yawning mouth of the cave swallowing them both. The ground juts downwards near immediately, Ana lowering herself over the ledge and keeping a careful eye on Lucy to make sure she doesn’t slip too far ahead. That careful eye then drifts to their surroundings, searching for any shapes skulking around in the dark. Maybe she’s being a little too cautious. But it just doesn’t feel like her flashlight’s beam stretches far enough. “You’re really sure we need to go down here?”

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happy pride everyone i write is bi, pan or a lesbian

to specify: maria: pan julie: heavily fem leaning at the very least ana: closeted/unaware bi chrissy: either heavily closeted bi or lesbian depending on the verse and what i'm feeling and the position of the planets in the sky

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but on the OTHER hand ana as a kid in the summer. racing around in the heat in her sundresses, crowding around a sprinkler system with the rest of the neighbourhood kids as they play in the spray. her going down to the community pool with maria, sweaty hand in sweaty hand, and doggy paddling desperately as her sister tries to teach her to swim. mrs flores maybe taking a moment to stretch out on a sun lounger next to them and relax, the times that she comes along to supervise. ana chasing down ice cream vans, sticking her face in front of the rickety electric fan they own and closing her eyes as it blows her hair from her face. exploring the neighborhood in search for bugs and butterflies and cute tiny lizards, and playing make believe in the front garden. just something about her absolutely living for the summer, at least when she's younger.

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thinking once again about mr flores having this addiction to smoking until his dying days, and ana craving the smell of it so desperately afterwards even when it makes her wrinkle her nose.

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since i'm getting more into writing her again, my activity is gonna be split at least slightly towards aerith for the time being. still got a lot of love and muse for ana and my multimuse girls, i'm just trying to give aerith a little more love again too. and, of course, if anyone wants to write some extremely silly crossover shenanigans, just hit me up! this is just a heads up for blog activity moving forwards

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Friendship Starters, Vol. 3

(Sentences for friends, with an assortment of feelings. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I can handle my own problems! I've done it for a long time before you came along!"

"Wow! Is this yours?"

"I wonder what your mum would say if she could see us now?"

"Have you ever told your father what you just told me?"

"Don't worry, I can take care of myself!"

"I wish that it could always be like this."

"Is he really your father? He's scary."

"Maybe you should tell me what's bothering you?"

"One day, you'll decide to live a little!"

"My dad doesn't even like me."

"What? Is there some rule against having fun?"

"I will always be there for you when you need me."

"That's the last time we do that!"

"We've been through a lot together. Maybe too much."

"You're not getting rid of me, so get used to it."

"Do you need a hug?"

"Can you at least pretend to enjoy yourself?"

"Don't be so grumpy!"

"So, this is what you do with your retirement?"

"I know you better than you know yourself."

"Well, that is a deeply odd thing to say!"

"I am cool, aren't I?"

"You know me; I'm always careful!"

"Why are you smiling at me like that? It's creeping me out!"

"You're the first person that I've talked to about any of this."

"Don't you ever listen to me?"

"You can't hide out here forever, you know. You have to go home sometime."

"Promise you'll take me with you?"

"You're in a very strange mood today!"

"I came as soon as I saw the morning paper. I thought you might need a friend."

"Remember how much fun we used to have? Why can’t we just have fun like that again? "

"Don't you dare!"

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me and my love of giving ana a narrative of grief and loss to drive the impact of losing maria even harder vs wanting to just give her a nice time in her childhood sometimes: fight

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ana <3

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double flores angst day for me <3

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“I’m going to lift you up, okay? Tell me if it hurts.” | from danny (':

Everyone has a point where they break. A point where things just get too hard to do alone. The world too heavy, their heart too lonely, their bones too bruised to keep themselves together. Ana, for so much of her life, has prided herself on her ability to continue past that point. To keep a stiff lip, to pack her insecurities down into a too-small box, to occasionally cry, short wild and angry, and then gather her stubbornness and move forwards. It was only a matter of time before she broke in a way that she couldn’t fix. As it turns out, that way is two, deep puncture wounds, dealt by a cruel knife just below her ribs. She doesn’t know how she hasn’t bled out. Maybe it’s that same stubbornness. It certainly keeps her mouth pressed together so tight, the skin surrounding it is bloodless. There’s a bloodstain on a wall near her, fresh and painted in the print of her hand, where she had stumbled against it and then crumpled to the floor. Her mind had argued that slipping to the floor would be easier, lessening the frustration of falling by reasoning that it was better for her to be there. Less stress on her, if she wasn’t standing. She could figure out what to do next, how to staunch the bloodflow, if her head wasn’t spinning. Danny doesn’t seem to agree with her tentative decision to stay on the ground. And what a godsend he is. Appearing before her like an angel, bulking form blocking out the light in a way that briefly had her heart stop before she heard his voice. And then, all Ana knew was sweeping relief. Her ears feel like they’re beginning to stuff with cotton wool, but she listens to him, each word he says, nods and shakes her head where necessary. Tells him what happened, even though her words are strained and clipped. She doesn’t think she can stand, not right now, and winces through her teeth when she tries. It’s too much, to both try to cradle her wound, and plant a palm against the floor to get up. It slips out from her immediately. It’s an easy decision, then, for him to lift her instead. Danny checks in with her, one strong arm hooking under the bend of her knees, the other coming around to press against her back. Ana knows it’s going to hurt. Knows that they need to go, too — that their hunters could find them at any given moment. And, already, part of her mind is berating her for becoming a burden. Danny can’t protect them both while holding her. Can’t achieve much, like this – not unless his sole goal has become carrying her, and part of her wants to cry that she isn’t worth it. That it’s her own fault she’s here. Her own fault if she bleeds out, after doing what she did. She’s useless now, isn’t she? How can she help anyone if she can’t fight back? Dark eyes meet hers, checking in again, Danny still the solid, sturdy figure he’s always been in her life. He grounds her now, more than ever. Ana nods, the motion of it tight and uncomfortable, hooks one arm around his shoulder. She sums up all the tight-lipped, stubborn courage she can find in her body, and wills herself not to cry out, to hold herself together as much as she can. It can’t stop her from whimpering when he lifts her up. Both her arms tense, her other hand clamped right under her ribs, and Ana’s expression cracks from the pain. Fingers tense, spasm, painted by her own blood, the material surrounding them a deep dark red. It hurts, she thinks, and twin tears bead at her eyes at the thought. She’s never felt so scared. So desperate, for the company of a group that she barely knows. Ana doesn’t want to do this alone, not any longer - regrets thinking she could take on any of that family that way. Regrets having that attitude for all of her life. That man had seen her and her bravado coming, and stuck her like a pig, and now she was going to be a hindrance to everyone. “It hurts,” she manages. Voice quiet, with tears barely held back as she attempts to hide against him. Body curling upwards, gaze retreating in shame to his shoulder. “It really hurts. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I should have never – I was so stupid–”

[nxmeolvides]

"how many times are you gonna write about ana in those weeks of maria going missing" yeah

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gonna be on holiday from tomorrow til thursday, so unless i pump something out today, i won't be able to get any responses out till then - planning on hoarding them on my phone and writing when i have time though! while i'm gone, i will still be around on discord though to talk goofy, brainstorm, etc - you can find me at purpixe.

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final girl thoughts but they're horrifically sad

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she simply is ana flores to me idk what to tell you