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Never Say Never to Being a Hotwife - this is what changed my mind!
As the expression goes: ‘never say never’. I would certainly have said ‘never’ if anyone had asked me a year ago if would ever become a hot wife for my own pleasure and willingly fuck men other than my husband to fulfil his voyeuristic fantasies.
In most ways we are just like any young married couple. I was twenty-six when we married and Alan was twenty-eight, so we had both had partners and relationships before we met. I had four long-term boyfriends since I lost my virginity at seventeen and three sex 'flings’ including a really hot one night stand with a Dutch guy whose name I never asked! Alan had a few more conquests and I had known three of his former girlfriends - it was one who introduced us.
Like most couples we occasionally talked about our ex lovers and John always seemed fascinated to hear about mine. He especially liked me to tell him about my one-night stand and he said he was lucky to be married to a sex vixen as he called me. It did seem to turn him on and sometimes he wanted me to pretend he was a stranger. That always led to some hot and crazy sex.
Unlike Alan, who never seemed to mind my previous sexual activity, I was always a bit jealous of one of his ex-girlfriends, Monica, who I had known through work. She was the most stunning tall leggy blonde imaginable and she had done some modelling. She looked like every man’s fantasy, with awesome firm large tits, a tiny waste and a pert rounded bum that she could wiggle with a hip swinging sexy walk. Her face was cute and her mouth seemed to hold a permanent sexy pout with full lips always just open enough to suggest they would accept a cock at any moment.
I would quiz Alan about her and I was always surprised that he insisted she was lousy in bed despite looking so hot. One day I bumped into her at a local caf? and all my jealousy came rushing back. Compared to her I felt frumpy and plain, so that night in bed I couldn’t help myself asking Alan about her all over again. This time, I just kept asking more and more questions until Alan revealed a few details I had never heard before.
“Yes, I admit she has an amazing body”, he conceded, “But she would just lay there admiring herself in the mirror while we fucked - she barely reacted to me. She is such a narcissist; she only cares about how she looks. Sometimes, I really wondered if it mattered to her that I was doing it to her!”
“She had a mirror just to watch herself?” I asked.
“Her closets had full length mirror doors, there was another huge mirror which covered almost the whole of a wall and a mirror above the bed-head. She could watch herself from all angles”, explained Alan. “It was like having a porno movie going on all sides, except she wasn’t watching it for the sex, just to see how good she looked as the star of the show. She would adjust her hair or change position and even comment that she looked better at a certain angle”.
“Did you like watching yourself too - after all you can be pretty vain!” I teased.
“A bit. But not the way you think”, Alan hesitated and I could tell he was deciding how much to reveal, so I gently ran my fingers across his chest, trying to appear nonchalant.
“In what way then?” I asked eventually.
“I liked watching her being fucked. I was kind of being a voyeur”.
“How so?” I asked, not really understanding.
“Well it was a bit like watching a porno. I could imagine that I was watching any man fucking her - not necessarily me. That was the part I enjoyed. I could make up any fantasy I wanted about the scene in front of me. In the end, that became the only turn on. If there hadn’t been any mirrors, I would have grown bored of sex with Monica very quickly”, explained Alan.
Now I was intrigued. This was revealing more about Alan than I expected.
“So why did you break up with her?” I had never asked that question before.
“It was the other way round. She broke up with me. It was because of the mirrors and my fantasies. She didn’t like them”.
“Because it wasn’t about her?”
“No because it WAS about her. I told her that I liked to imagine I was watching other men fucking her. Then I asked her if she would do it for real while I watched and she ended the relationship after a big argument”.
“You wanted to watch her fuck other men?” I asked, completely shocked.
“Yes. I really did”.
It took me a few moments to process this information and the next obvious question came to mind.
“Have you ever wanted to watch me fuck other men?”
Alan was quiet and sheepish. He had a guilt look on his face, so I already knew what the answer would be. I reassured him that I would be OK if the answer was yes.
“Yes”, he finally confessed, begging me not to be furious with him.
“I’m not angry”, I explained, “just a bit surprised and confused. I’m not quite sure where to go from here. But at last I understand why you like me to tell you about my fuck with the Dutchman. I often wondered why it made you so horny”.
“I’m sorry Susan. I didn’t want to lose you or make you angry. I love you so much and I didn’t want you to leave me like Monica. I’ve had to keep my fantasy a secret. Please forgive me”.
Alan seemed so worried and sincere. Really, I couldn’t see how he had done anything wrong except keep a secret.
“I’m really not angry darling. It’s only a fantasy, so I’m not upset”.
Alan took me in his arms and we kissed tenderly, relishing the intimacy of our newfound understanding. I realized I would need to find a way to accommodate Alan’s fantasies in our relationship.
“I don’t think I could fuck other men for you Alan but if you like to fantasize about it, that’s OK. And if you like we can have mirrors in the bedroom. That way I get really nice brand new closets and you can come out of the closet with your dirty mind!”
“I love you Susan. Thank you for understanding”.
Alan started to cover me in kisses and I could feel him becoming aroused. I was getting pretty hot too wondering if we made love now, what dirty thoughts would be passing through Alan’s mind.
“Would you like to imagine me with someone else now?” I asked, my hand caressing his hardening cock.
“Yes I would! Can you imagine it with me?”
“Yes darling - but I have to warn you, he is very handsome and big. He’s Dutch and I don’t even know his name!” With those words, Alan’s cock sprang to attention and he started to caress my pussy with his expert fingers. My mind began to wander back to my Dutchman and my orgasm came quickly.
Soon Alan entered me and began to thrust powerfully into me.
“Are you imagining fucking your Dutchman?” asked Alan.
“Oh yes!” I moaned, “He is fucking me so well!”
“Good! I like to watch him fucking you Susan!”
I could see the lust in Alan’s eyes. He was so happy to be talking about his fantasy. I knew just how to tip him over the edge. I pulled his head down close to my face and whispered in his ear.
“I’ve never told you this my darling. My Dutchman had the biggest cock I have ever had. It was so massive that it was almost painful! I just couldn’t get enough of his big cock inside me. Fuck me hard so I can imagine his beautiful cock inside me!”
Alan gasped a few times and came instantly, moaning repeatedly as he pumped his hot seed into me.
“Oh yes, fuck his huge cock! I want you to fuck his huge cock for me!”
Alan collapsed next to me and looked lovingly into my eyes.
“Thank you for understanding, Susan”.
“I don’t fully understand”, I answered, “But I can’t see much harm in your fantasies. Especially if I get some nice new closets with full length mirrors!”
We laughed and cuddled and went to sleep happy in each other’s arms.
Little did I know where this new road would take us!
CHAPTER TWO
I’m not innocent and I’m not na?ve but somehow I never thought that putting the mirrors in the bedroom would lead to any more than just fantasy play with Alan.
Once the new closets were in and Alan put another mirror above the bed we started to fuck much more often. We had only been married three years, however we were back to sex almost every night and sometimes more, just like newlyweds.
Steadily the bedroom talk began to escalate. Alan would describe what he was imagining in great detail and I began to look forward to fucking the strangers in his mind. I watched in the mirror as he pretended I was fucking a banker, delivery men, a colleague from work called Doug who I reckon is super hot and all manner of other men. Gradually I began to like watching myself being fucked and we tried all sorts of positions so I could watch his cock from the best angle.
One evening, when I came home from work I was feeling particularly horny. Alan was in the lounge and I called in to him from the doorway.
“Hi darling, just letting you know that I have brought home a hot guy called Tom. I’m going upstairs to let him fuck me. You can come up and watch if you like”
With that I ran upstairs and stripped off and just lay on the bed waiting. Alan was up soon and we had the hottest fuck imaginable. I called Alan 'Tom’ which made the fantasy even better. This was the first time that I really 'lived’ the fantasy and I realized that I could now go though with it. I was ready to fuck another man.
Lying in bed afterwards I told Alan.
“I’m ready darling. I could do it. I could fuck another man if you really want me to!”
“OMG! You would? You mean it?”
“Yes lover. I want to. It’s time to do it for real”.
Alan was so excited. We discussed all the possibilities and started to hatch our plans. It was fun doing this with my husband - because we were doing it together. Somehow it seemed so natural and loving. The most important thing was to have Alan watch me fuck the other man and for me to watch it in our mirrors.
We were worried that it might be hard to find another man who would be happy to fuck me in front of Alan, so Alan suggested that we fill the empty wall with a full size two way mirror and Alan could sit in the spare room next to our master bedroom and watch all the action. He could even film it secretly from there.
In a couple of weeks we were ready and Alan had tried out filming me masturbating from the other side of the mirror. Everything worked perfectly and I enjoyed exhibiting myself to my dirty husband, knowing he was jerking off too!
The next problem was finding a suitable first candidate. We thought about me going out and seducing total strangers. In the end we decided that I should go for Doug, my co-worker who I had always fancied. He was married but I was sure I could persuade him to have a little on the side!
I started to dress sexier at work and find excuses to visit Doug in his department. On Friday of the first week, Doug invited me for a drink after work so I knew I had his interest. We went to a quiet bar and sat in a booth away from prying eyes. After a couple of drinks I was relaxed and started to flirt with Doug, touching him on the arm, getting real close and looking deep into his eyes. Our conversation became more intimate and we confessed we were attracted to each other. The sexual tension was amazing.
“Do you think we should be doing this?” asked Doug, “After all we are both married”.
“Doing what?” I replied, with a coy smile, “I don’t think we have done anything wrong yet except have a drink and talk a little?”
I sat back slightly and fixed my gaze into Doug’s eyes and continued.
“But if we did this”, I said, putting my arm around his neck and pulling him towards me until our mouths met in an open sexy kiss, “then I suppose that would be wrong?”
“Probably!” smiled Doug and we started to make out. I was shaking with lust. We caressed each other, Doug cupping my breast and me feeling the sizable bulge in his pants.
Between the erotic kissing Doug told me we should probably stop and he got cold feet, saying he should go home to his wife. I didn’t push him because I knew I would be able to get into his pants the next time around. I felt like such a scheming slut and I loved it!
“I just want you to know that my pussy is wet for you”, I said, giving him a final kiss as we parted in the car park. “Why don’t we have lunch next week and you can tell me what you would like to do about it!”
I smiled at Doug’s helpless lustful look as I turned and got into my car. Then I rushed home to Alan to tell him what I had done. Alan was so excited when I told him about Doug that we fucked twice on the lounge! The whole weekend we just talked about seducing Doug and spent hours fucking in front of the mirror trying to imagine Doug was fucking me.
On Monday, I passed by Doug’s desk late in the afternoon, on some business pretence; making out there was some project going on between our departments.
“When are we going to get together to go deeper into this subject?” I asked him.
Doug was obviously trying not to smirk and he answered very earnestly, checking his calendar.
“I can make any time from lunch onwards on Wednesday. I’m free pretty well all afternoon”, he announced in a business-like tone.
“That suits me fine”, I said nonchalantly. “I can make sure I have nothing on and it doesn’t matter if we take all afternoon to get to the bottom of it!”
“OK”, said Doug, hardly daring to look me in the eye. “I will send you a calendar invite. Why don’t we have lunch first and then we discuss how we want to go about it before we get into the detail”.
“That sounds like a plan,” I smirked. “I will make sure we get a room”. Then I headed back to my desk and called Alan immediately to tell him it was on for Wednesday afternoon, so he could arrange to be home to watch. While we were chatting, the Outlook invite arrived titled “Exploration of Un-penetrated Areas”. Alan and I had a good laugh and I sent Doug back a cheeky little email.
Thanks for agreeing to take a deep dive into new areas of opportunity with me. I have a feeling that we will find out how much we can both contribute and get a great outcome.
Wednesday lunchtime just couldn’t come soon enough and I met Doug at a nice restaurant less than ten minutes from my house. We had a light lunch and shared a bottle of wine. I explained I was only doing this for casual sex and bit of variety - I wasn’t looking for an affair and I had never been unfaithful to my husband before. We talked about sex and held hands. When nobody was looking he leaned over and we kissed. I told him that it was OK to go to my house because my husband would not be home until well after seven o'clock. Just to make Doug comfortable, I sent Alan a text with our pre-agreed coded message.
Do you want me to fix dinner tonight?
No thanks; I may be a bit late. I will be locked away until seven at the earliest. Why don’t you go ahead and I will look after myself.
I showed Doug the reply and we were all set.
“I hope you are going to like my bedroom. I have lots of mirrors because I like to watch myself being fucked. I hope you don’t mind?”
Doug liked the idea and said he had always wanted to have a mirror so he could see the bed.
It was a little after two thirty when I entered our bedroom with Doug. I smiled at the full wall mirror knowing Alan would be the other side of the mirror watching me.
Doug and I stood at the end of the bed kissing and slowly undressing each other. I wanted this to last for my own pleasure and to give Alan a great show. Eventually I released Doug’s rock-hard cock and I got Doug completely naked while I still had my sexy underwear on. I had just let my skirt slip to the floor and I kept on my high heel pumps and kicked it away. I wanted to look like the slut I was about to be.
I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Doug towards me so I could suck his cock. It was about the same size as Alan’s, perhaps a little ticker and glistening on the tip with pre-come, which I licked off before taking the head into my mouth and lovingly sucking it. Alan would have the perfect view and I wondered if he was already jacking himself off watching.
The sensation of exploring a new man was really turning me on. Everything was a thrill. His smell, the different way the hair surrounded his cock, the weight of his balls as I cupped them in my hand, the way his cock responded to my sucking and as I teased his cockhead with my teeth. All my senses were heightened and I was heady with lust. This new cock was my sex toy and I intended to play with it for my own total satisfaction! I looked up at Doug and our eyes met. He was completely at my mercy!
My pussy was burning hot so I released Doug’s cock and fell back on the bed.
“I’ve got the perfect place for that nice cock!” I said, pulling the gusset of my panties to one side to reveal a dripping love hole.
Doug immediately dropped to his knees between my legs, placing his tip between my labia lips and massaging my juices over my clit. Wow, that felt good!
After some teasing, Doug pulled away a little and dropped his mouth onto my mound, expertly pulling my clit between his lips. He was good at this and in no time I could feel my orgasm building. With Doug busy between my legs, I could safely turn to the mirror to watch the porno-like scene. I knew I was looking directly at Alan and I mouthed 'I love you’ and gave him a big smile and a wink. As I watched myself with another man sucking my pussy, I was thankful that my husband was such a dirty-minded bastard! Maybe it was being an exhibitionist that really turned me on, but at that moment I had a mind shattering and belly wrenching orgasm. I just screamed out, holding Doug’s face to my pussy as I convulsed with pleasure.
Doug didn’t give me much time to recover and he was quickly on top of me. He didn’t even attempt to pull off my panties, again pulling the gusset to one side to position his cock perfectly at my hole. With a firm powerful thrust he was in me and it felt SO GOOD!
Doug knew how to use his cock and I wrapped my legs around him as we found a beautiful fucking rhythm. Doug was also looking over to the big mirror. We were both looking towards Alan and it was a great scene! We looked great. I still had my stockings and shoes on. I looked like a total whore and I loved it. I was putting on a show for Alan and myself and I hoped he was getting it all on video.
“You look so fucking sexy,” Doug called out, his eyes fixed on the mirror.
“WE look fucking sexy,” I replied, “It’s so hot watching a different man between my legs! You are the first man apart from my husband to do me in front of the mirror. I want to try lots of positions so I can watch you fuck me!”
“You are a such a dirty slut!”
“I hope so! That’s what I want to be!”
Doug withdrew and I slipped off my shoes, panties and bra, repositioning myself on all fours for a doggie fuck. I watched our new position, seeing his juice glistening cock as he re-entered me from behind. I was in heaven as he pushed his full length into me and I had to struggle to keep my eyes open as the first waves of pleasure started to hit me. Each thrust sent a shock wave through my body and my bum and tits jiggled with his rhythm. After a while I slumped my head onto the bed and let his heavy balls slapping against my clit bring me to a beautiful orgasm. Shortly afterwards, Doug grabbed my thighs and increased his pace. I kept smiling at the mirror, knowing that Alan was going to see another man unload his sperm into his wife’s willing pussy. Doug let out a huge groan and I felt his hot come flood into my womb.
I wasn’t done yet and I got Doug to lie on the bed so I could lovingly clean his cock with my mouth. Every now and then I watched myself and hoped Alan was enjoying it too. Slowly Doug began to get hard again and when he was fully stiff I straddled him for another a hot fuck, grinding my clit onto his pubic bone and coming another three times before he shot a second load deep inside me.
I fell forwards onto Doug’s chest and we kissed and cuddled in the afterglow. He kept telling me how sexy I am and what a hot fuck I was. He really enjoyed the mirror too and I said we could probably do it again one day as long as he didn’t get all clingy and think I wanted an affair. Doug joked that he had always wanted to be a 'fuck toy’ and would be available if ever I wanted to 'use’ him. If only he knew how much he had just been used!
I slipped on a robe, let Doug out of the house and went upstairs again to find Alan waiting for me in bed. His cock was completely rigid and I slipped into bed beside him taking it in my hand.
“So I take it you enjoyed watching me with Doug?”
“Oh yes, darling! It was fucking amazing - literally! You were so hot to watch”
“I really got off putting on a good show, knowing you were there watching us!”
“Do you want to see some of it again? I got some good video and photos”
Of course I did. We connected the video camera to our bedroom TV and spent the next few hours watching me fucking Doug again and again, choosing our favourite moments. Alan took me from behind so we could watch together and he timed his comes to match Doug on the video. We watched the video dozens of times over the next few weeks and I decided lots of ways to improve my performance and other things I wanted to try.
And so that is how I became a hot wife. Alan and I are totally into our new life now. We have made improvements like adding tiny microphones in the bedroom so Alan can listen to the action and we can get good quality sound on the videos he makes.
I have had a total of nine men now including Doug who has returned a few times. I have convinced Doug that I love to watch me sucking his cock close up and I blow him kneeling down as he sits in a chair we have placed just a few feet away from the mirror. This is one of Alan’s favourites too, especially if I can get a couple of squirts of come on my face, although I am usually too greedy and like to drink the whole load of come.
I once managed to bring home two strangers in one day. There was an industry trade exhibition in town for a few days and I brought home one guy in the afternoon and a different one home that night. Alan fucked me between the two sessions and then again afterwards. I was sore, tired and completely satisfied that night!
My number seven fuck is also one of Alan’s favourites. He had an enormous cock, possibly even bigger than my Dutchman. I knew it would really turn Alan on so I sucked it a lot and talked dirty about loving big cocks. I even told the guy it was the biggest I had ever had and begged him to fuck me as hard as he could. He did me three times in the end and I came dozens of times on that glorious monster cock.
After my fucking sessions, Alan videos my pussy full of my lovers’ come and I talk dirty for the camera about my conquests. Alan is also getting into eating other men’s come out of my messy used pussy. We even video me squatting over his face and pushing out another man’s come into his willing mouth. Sometimes we video Alan sticking his cock into my come soaked cunt and he talks about how hot it is to be enjoying sloppy seconds. Alan then edits all these things to the end of each video so we have a complete record.
The next challenge is to have two men fuck me at once. So far we haven’t had the chance to do that. I am thinking of asking Doug if he would have a threesome with Alan. All I know is there is plenty of excitement still to come and lots of sexy videos to watch in between.
So my advice to would-be hot wives is simple. Find out about your husband’s fantasies and find a way to join in. If you do it together it adds a lot of fun and spice to your life. Go on - I dare you!
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This piece about slut-shaming is some kind of expansion of this post and companion to this post about prude-shaming. None of my stuff is ever intended to be totally comprehensive or the last word on any subject. For example, in this piece I didn’t even have a chance to talk explicitly about gender, or mention intersections with race, or overlaps with rape culture, or the way slut- and prude-shaming work together to create a terrible double-bind. But if you follow SexEdPlus, maybe I’ll get to some of that stuff later!
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Why wife sharing/hotwifing?
Wife sharing has definitely been a process for me. A process that has lead to a lot of self discovery and personal growth. It has been one of the most unique and powerful experiences of my life. Its very unusual to me that letting my wife sleep with other men could impact our lives in such a positive way. I would go as far as to say that it has impacted my life to a greater magnitude than hers. The sheer thought of what most would consider betrayal, being not only a positive experience, but an experience that would create a culture inside of our marriage of trust and communication that would lead to a greater sense of closeness and love. It is a bit of a mind fuck, but none the less very true.
However, I feel as though, I have many questions that need to be answered. Questions about myself that I want answered. I mean, am I just a hormone driven man that is into some freaky shit, or is my desire derived of my gentleman nature, or maybe something in between. Why do I like wife sharing and what has it done for me? Why does my wife like the lifestyle, and what has it done for her? What has it done for my marriage? There are just some questions that are obviously going to be multi-layered and are probably going to evolve in the coming years. From what we have seen thus far, we have seen positive growth in both of our personal lives as well as in our marriage.
It is up to us to create a marriage that we both love. It is our responsibility to each other to create a marriage that enriches both our lives. Happiness takes many forms, and there are many ways to achieve happiness. The most important part of our wife sharing lifestyle, is that it is not something we need to be happy. There are plenty of other ways for us to be happy. Our marriage doesn’t lack anything, so as far as the marriage goes, we don’t need to add anything to it to make it satisfying. Things were really good before we got into the lifestyle, and we couldn’t imagine our relationship going to another level, everything felt really good. So why mess with a good thing, right.
It wasn’t easy for me to ask my wife if she would like to sleep with other men. I mean the notion of asking your wife to sleep with other men just seemed crazy. Crazy enough that I often felt broken. I knew my wife was an open minded person, but still I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it or if she was ready for it or if our marriage was ready for it. I also at this time didn’t know that there was a wifesharing or hotwife lifestyle out there. I seriously thought I was all by myself and that I just had a really strange kink. I grew up super conservative, so I had my own conscience working against me for over a decade. I just kept burying it deeper inside of me.
It wasn’t very long after we started dating that I had a dream about her being with another man. That dream had really turned me on, though I never brought it up to her. Then I started occasionally fantasizing about it, but always felt guilty about the fantasy. I know I dropped hints about wanting her to be with another man sexually, but I never pushed them. I at this time was not ready for it, that was for sure. It wasn’t for about 12 – 13 years into our relationship that I realized I was finally ready for it. We were at a point that things were more natural. No more toxic friends. We figured out what kind of people we wanted to have in our lives, we had all the children that we wanted, we had grown passed all the immature growing pains, and we were just in a really content place in our lives. Most importantly our marriage was bullet proof.
So I was trying to tell her for months, it may have been over half a year that I just finally blurted it out in the car on our way back from a weekend get away in the mountains. I was probably a bit awkward about it, but I said “I think I want to see another man fuck you”. She only said “okay” in a quiet not so sure what to say kind of way, I could tell she was short of breath and at a loss for words. I continued on to explain to her that I think it’ll be just a one time thing. Just something I thought I needed to get out of my system. Well that conversation started a lot more conversations. Over about a years worth of conversations to be exact. We talked about rules, and boundaries, we talked about each others fantasies. We saw sides of each other we had never seen before. This broke down nearly any wall left in our lives. We trusted each other like we never trusted before. The communication was amazing. It spilled over into all parts of our lives. We were living some sort of dream marriage.
This started as a kink of mine. One that I was embarrassed of, but my wife was very accepting of it. Not ever judgmental of me in any way. One may say, well she is the beneficiary of the true benefit here, and that being she gets to play with other men sexually, so of course she was accepting. While this is true, she never just jumped on board and took the fantasy and ran away with it. She considered it carefully, and she also considered and suggested that I find women to sleep with. So that door is open for me, and I do consider my options, believe you me. So even though this was born of a kinky pleasure, it has grown into something so special. It has increased the frequency of sex and flirting. It has made us emotionally closer. “She loved me enough to be faithful to me, but I loved her enough to want something more for her” - anonymous.
So the question, why do I like wife sharing? Or better stated more specifically. Why do I want my wife to fuck other men? A decade ago up to about a couple years ago, it was about a very specific kink that I wanted fulfilled. One that I thought if I saw it, I could move past it and go onto having a more stereotypical male fantasy. Well the accepting and non-judgmental nature of my wife is actually what turned it into something I (we) want to do long term for now. It became so much more than just getting off for me. It became another way to tell my wife I loved her. Another way to tell her I trusted her. Another way for me to spoil her. While it still turns me on, it also takes us to a level beyond other marriages around us. I see people suspicious of infidelity in their marriages. I see marriages dealing with insecurities and immaturaties. Marriages that lack trust and communication. I see that wife sharing would likely break these other marriages as well. It make me realize that my wife and I have something very special. We are dedicated to making our marriage work. No part of this lifestyle should ever effect our marriage negatively as long as we communicate honestly and openly.
So therefor I want my wife to fuck other men because it allows her to experience her sexuality in a variety of different ways. A woman’s sexual capacity is enormous, and no one man can peel back every layer of her sexuality. It takes many different personalities to peel back different layers. She deserves to experience that. I also want her to fuck other men, because I believe she deserves it. To give her a break from being a spouse, mother, and successful professional in the work place. I believe she has earned a good dicking and some time where she doesn’t have to think about anything other than just getting dicked really hard. Just letting her stress and inhibitions go. I also want her to fuck other men for my own selfish reasons. She comes home horny and I want to reclaim her. She is my personal pornstar and takes videos and pictures for me. I really enjoy helping plan her dates, give her some in-site as to what he may want, as well as helping her choose outfits and under garments.
In return, after the heat has died down and normal life takes its reigns again. We go through our day to day routines with a refreshed mind set. A refreshed closeness and love that helps keep things in perspective. Some people have different ways of achieving this same result, as do we, but for now I am only talking about the one peculiar thing we added to our marriage that made such a profound and uplifting shift in our relationship with each other that it is worth discussing and exploring.
As far as what this does for my wife and how it effects her. I think it effects her in a very similar fashion as it does me. Some of the differences are that she can flirt and play with other men with my full knowledge and support and not worry about judgment. She doesn’t have to worry about competing with other women, because honestly she is my fantasy. So I don’t really pursue other women, but when I do, I also do it with her knowledge. She also sees the genuine trust that has been magnified by this lifestyle. She has told me that she wants to add more men to her variety, but for now things are good the way they are. She can have as many lovers as she wants to as long as it doesn’t disrupt our marriage or our lives. She has my full support in exploring her sexuality. We live a very monogamous existence with each other, with the exception that sexual infidelity is allowed with the full knowledge of each other. Some would say that, that would automatically define our marriage as that of an open marriage or some sort of non-monogamous relationship. I simply don’t don’t see it that way and don’t really try to gravitate to defining it to particular words or groups. As far as we are concerned, we are monogamous in nature and we consider our marriage monogamous with benefits.
For anyone that would be skeptical of the lifestyle choice or of anything that I have had to say. I would applaud their skepticism. The choices we made were made cautiously and with much deliberation. We did not rush into anything and met the lifestyle choice with our own skepticism. The lifestyle is not for the many, it is for the few. I only hope it is viewed with an open heart and open mind. Just know that elevating your marriage can be found in the oddest places. There is no specific formula that works for everyone. Just be aware that it is through trusting each other and communicating with each other that anything may be possible. Even in this specific lifestyle we have made compromises with each other to make it work for us.
“My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small. You never need to carry more than you can hold, and while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to. I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too. Yeah, this is my wish’. ~ Rascal Flatts
The Artful Throbber
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The Release: Ideas for the Ultimate Reward
Ok great - he's been a good boy and you feel he deserves a reward in the firm of good old fashioned penetration. Or you feel like having traditional sex but don’t feel like the consequences of having him ejaculate. Well, here's the rub (haha):
He's going to be super sensitive.
He's not going to last very long.
Therefore, it's not going to be very enjoyable for you.
So, here are some things to try things last longer when his big moment comes (again, pun).
1 - Foreplay (for you)
Firstly, make sure that he spends a significant amount of time giving you foreplay, without any contact on his nub. He should go down on you, use a vibrator, finger, or whatever you absolutely love. Ideally, he is still locked at this point, or at the very least wearing tight underwear to ensure no accidental contact. Remember, he's SUPER sensitive after days/weeks/months of no release.
2 - Desensitize
Before you allow him to penetrate you, put a desensitizing condom like Durex Extended Pleasure on his nub. Condoms, of course, have the added bonus of no need for clean up.
3 - Extend
Finally, and my favorite, is to use a sleeve / extender. Sleeves are worn on the unlocked penis like a very thick condom. Not only will wearing a sleeve help him last longer, but you can choose one that is bigger than his “naked” nub. Tell him to put the sleeve on over the condom, and use a little lube. Enjoy the ride.
Ideally, you can have a really fun time and if you get everything right, there is a good chance that he will not ejaculate. It helps to tell him that he needs to ask for permission in order to cum. This will ensure he has to concentrate very hard. Ideally you are satisfied and he is still on the edge. In this case, once you are done, wait for his nub to decompress and then lock up again. Perfect!
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Introducing Male Chastity Play
My name is Ella, I am 36 years old and I work for an insurance company. My husband, deliberately not named, is 37 years old and works as a senior engineer. We have been happily married for 12 years, with two daughters, and I am created this site to share my experiences and advice for Tease and Denial and Male Chastity. (If you are not married, please mentally replace husband with boyfriend when reading this website, it all applies just the same.) As you are reading this website, I am assuming your husband or boyfriend has told you that he wants to try something called male chastity play with you, or you have heard about it somewhere and have suggested it to him. Either you have found this website through a search engine, or you have been sent the link. Your first reaction probably was surprise. Why would he want chastity? What does he want me to do?
Step 1: relax! When you read through these paragraphs (I kept it short, I promise!) you will understand why chastity is a fun, exciting idea for the two of you to try. You may find it’s simply that - a fun game to spice things up in your sex life. You may also find that male chastity brings a new closeness and renewed desire to you as a couple. Before you continue reading, make sure you have nothing else planned for a little while and that you are not distracted by anything. Relax, take your time, and try to be as open-minded as you can.
To get started, I recommend reading this 101 article. You will need to make notes - digitally or on paper, as to do this properly there are some things you need to choose and then write down.
After this 101, I do recommend you read through subsequent articles linked here, as there is more detail on some key topics, and the more you know, the better you will be at this!
But… First, what is male chastity play?
Simply put, the man uses a so-called chastity device to lock his penis, and then he gives the key to his partner, making her what is called a “keyholder”. Chastity devices are sex toys made of plastic or metal that lock around the penis, making it impossible for him to masturbate or get an erection. In chastity play, the keyholder (you) has the power to decide when to unlock the device and when to allow him sexual pleasure. That can be five times a day or five times a year. The ‘game’ of it is the transmission of ‘power’ regarding his sexual pleasure.
You may not typically be the ‘dominant’ sexual partner in the relationship, but in chastity play it is essential that you assume this position - even if you are just acting or role-playing initially until it becomes the norm. He is not giving you inanimate metal keys - he’s giving you possession to his sexual release and the position of power. Enjoy it! Embrace it and take charge.
I have always felt that being well informed about something enables you to do it well. There is a lot on the internet on chastity, and there are several internet forums and chat rooms which seem to start up and die down as people move around. I have communicated over the years with over two dozen wives who keep their husbands locked. I have met several of them in person and the one thing they all agreed on was that the benefits of chastity for their husbands were incredible. It may amaze you, as it did me, to find out that so many men and women use chastity as part of their relationship, really more than you could imagine. There was a Canadian newspaper article in 2019 stating that 6% of men are caged with the key given to their wife. This just goes to show that male chastity is less rare than you probably thought and there is a lot of it being practiced, probably by some of your girlfriends.
There are two major types of chastity - ‘play’ and ‘lifestyle’. Play is relatively short term and used as part of sex play and diversity. Short term, in my view, falls into the category of 2-week to 3-month lock ups. This is where most couples’ chastity journeys start. It’s vital that the first lockup is at least 2-3 weeks, and is 24 hours a day for that period. Read why here. No ‘nighttime only’ or ‘daytime only’ - the lockup period must be erection and orgasm free.
Even in short term play, chastity has to be a 24/7 thing. 24/7 is the foundation; it is the most positive/enjoyable/effective because the cage is a constant reminder about the power exchange. Most of the day, the male will forget about it and only be subconsciously aware that anything is different. However when they do get a tingle of sexual excitement - for whatever reason, Boom - they are reminded that their erections (and more importantly, sexual release) belongs to you. That’s what’s fun about Tease and Denial (T&D). Life goes on as it always has, employment, financial, family issues and decisions are all still there. But it’s a little secret you two share - a fun, slightly ‘naughty’ way to mix up the relationship’s ‘sexual dominance’.
What are the benefits of Male Chastity?
The motivation why a couple would want to begin with male chastity play is straightforward: It is simply a sexual fantasy or sexual experimentation to mix things up. With the dramatic rise in popularity in chastity play over the last five years - with story arcs in mainstream media (Californication), articles in The Independent, Cosmopolitan, Vice…), it may have piqued their interest as something fun to try.
he large global movement called “Locktober” is practically everywhere, and is an entry point for many males and females who want to experiment in this way.
Or it is a matter of circumstance that allows for a different style of sexual ‘play’ - long distance relationships, work trips or other reasons where vanilla lovemaking is limited/not possible.
For males, chastity play can be very VERY exciting. For the male, chastity play is about having a relationship where male orgasms are limited but erotic heat is abundant. As part of the game, he is giving up something that is a very standard part of a male’s life, his freedom to masturbate. Young men have an abundance of testosterone, so masturbation doesn’t seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women. However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband losing sexual desire for at least a couple days. Male masturbation can create an emotional barrier in relationships and allows a man to remain somewhat disconnected in a very selfish and self-serving way. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido.
Males in chastity will almost always have increased energy. Noticed he hits the gym more? Trimming the body fat? Need less sleep? More productive? Yup. Other changes will likely happen too. He will be more focused and task-oriented. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. This is because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases, he will divert that energy towards pleasing you - especially if he has asked you to be his keyholder, rather than you coming up with the idea to keep him locked. His non-stop offers of massages and oral sex are a very welcome side effect of the redirection of his sexual energy.
What do I actually ‘do’ as a Keyholder?
Chastity is just that, chastity. There is no need to entertain other kinks your husband may have if you don’t want to. In fact, it is likely that your husband doesn’t even expect you to do anything more than hold his key. Just be yourself and do what you want. It doesn’t have to become a time sink and your life doesn’t need to revolve around your husband’s desire for chastity.
As counter-intuitive as it might sound, when you take away a man’s erections, orgasms and his ability to play with his cock whenever the mood strikes, he finds it very arousing. Chastity is a huge turn on.
The sexual frustration a chaste man feels is intense, so intense he experiences a euphoric high from the change of control. That is why a guy becomes super-focused on his partner and the extreme arousal coupled with sexual frustration is what makes the chastity game so much fun for couples to play. The more aroused a locked male stays, the more he likes it. Teasing is what keeps a guy’s arousal at high levels.
Being a keyholder involves:
1. Holding the keys and controlling when and how release takes place (see links)
2. Setting and communicating your keyholding rules at the start of the first lockup.
3. Teasing - to keep arousal in peak state throughout lockup.
Let’s look at some of this in more detail.
Teasing
You don’t have to be an expert at sexual teasing or spend loads of time learning how to become one. Chastity with teasing keeps the arousal and positive energy / endorphins / oxytocin at ideal levels. Chastity without teasing will lead to frustration and grumpiness - pretty soon the game will be up. ��
So, teasing is essential to keep your husband’s arousal peaking, but there are plenty of simple ways to do that which don’t require a lot of time. It’s important to remember that you and not him will be the one making the (bedroom) decisions once he is locked. There are no fixed rules how often you should test him, unlock him or let him ejaculate, and chastity does not need to change your everyday life, certainly not outside of the bedroom. I would suggest you give it a try and then just go with the flow.
Teasing Ideas
So how do you do ‘teasing’? I don’t mean making fun of him. We’re not in middle school. I mean turning him on, only it’s teasing because he can’t get hard, let alone have an orgasm. It’s the ultimate cock tease and it makes chastity play so much more satisfying for you and your man.
The great thing about male chastity play is how little effort it takes you, as the keyholder. My ideal teasing effort is 2-5 minutes a day, or every second day… mix it up. Make it a rule that he is not allowed to ask for it. In bed at night, roll over and tease for a bit. Then say goodnight. Other nights - do nothing, say nothing. That is half of the fun - for you and for him! Look at the list below and jot down some of the ones that appeal to you…
Some simple teasing ideas: 1: Non-physical - Talk about it: Talk about his chastity cage. Tell him you like how it looks, how tight it must be, how full his balls look… Ask him to show it to you as a ‘cage check’ at random times… The simple act of talking about it will drive him crazy! Men are hilarious. - Choose his underwear for him. Tell him to wear a particular color, or tell him to wear the tight white ones, the compression shorts, swimsuit… or no underwear today…whatever. You’re taking control, and that’s hot. - Tell him to sleep naked every now and again - Even wear some sexy outfits and parading around will drive him crazy!
2: Physical - Play with his balls. Even while locked, his balls are exposed, unless you have a full chastity belt where the balls are locked too. With his cock locked, his balls become infinitely more sensitive. Stroke / tickle to start, but then squeeze and pull. Then slap. Start slowly and build up the slapping in intensity, and tell him to tell you when to stop. Then start again..! Women are way too gentle with balls in general - most makes prefer far more rough play than they let on. Let him guide you if you are unsure.
- Play with the Cage: while most cages do a great job of making erections and orgasms impossible, playing with his cage is a great way to tease him. If it’s an enclosed cage (better in my view) then he will not be able to feel anything at all if you are stroking it - but he will imagine it and it will blow his mind. Any exposed parts will become hyper-sensitive, so touching them or poking/licking… you name it - will drive him the best kind of crazy.
- Kissing: It’s the fastest way to turn him on and he’ll never turn it down. Even though he knows his cock is going to ache because it can’t get hard, he loves to kiss. For added heat, hold his cage / balls while kissing.
- Body contact: Make him worship your body – This is an absolute must when he’s locked up. He craves your body. He craves you. Have him worship it. Have him kiss you all over. Have him give you a massage.
- Nipple play: men’s nipples are almost 5x more sensitive than female nipples. With his cock locked, his nipples will heighten in sensitivity further. You may have even noticed they stiffen or harden more quickly or for longer than usual. Play with them by using nipple clamps, clothespins or even just by pinching and squeezing. Be careful, some locked males have been known to cum from just nipple play alone!
- Shower with him: Ask him to rub lotion on you or whatever you prefer. Being locked naked with you in the shower will blow his mind. - ‘Have and Hold’: If you want to unlock him as part of teasing, a fun one is to make him stand next to the bed or across the room, and unlock the cage. Once the cage is off, he is not allowed to touch his cock. He will almost certainly get hard. You carry on with reading or whatever you were doing and tell him to inform you when he has gone soft. Make the odd comment and watch to see how easily you can make him react. As soon as he is soft, tell him to relock the cage.
- Anal play: You may know that men have a P-spot near their prostate which is similar to the female G-spot, although most hetersexual males never use it. My husband is not into anal play, so I don’t have much experience there, but there are some incredible resources out there if it’s your cup of tea!
- Finally, if you want to play with his cock while unlocked as part of teasing, I’ll drop some notes on the ‘Release’ over here. Focus on edging and the touchless release (if you really want to give him a treat). Remember - teasing means no cumming. A little bit every day or every couple of days will form the foundation of your chastity play!
Basic Keyholder Rules
At the start of the first lockup, you need to set rules. Writing them down and send them to him on email or text message is the easiest. That way he has them at all times. And send them to him at work while he’s locked and you will really get him squirming! Or you can inform him in person. These are your rules and are not a discussion - he has asked you to be the keyholder, so he must play by your rules or you call the whole thing off.
The most typical rules for keyholders are as simple as this:
The Wife can choose the chastity device.
It’s not called a cock or penis or whatever when it’s locked. Come up with a name for his locked cock. Tell him that is what it is called from now on. The most common name is 'nub’, so feel free to use that. And it’s ‘your’ nub, your balls etc, not his. Make sure he gets that right.
The Wife will hold the keys to the chastity device and will not make them accessible to the Husband.
The Wife decides when the Husband will be unlocked, allowed and erection, or allowed release. Separate the concept of ‘unlock= orgasm or'unlock=erection’. In most cases it’s none of those.
The Husband will not ask for release and there will be no discussions about chastity unless the Wife brings it up. Infringements can be extending lockup or some other forfeit ;)
Chastity play will not intrude into the Wife’s daily life or restrict her own sexual satisfaction.
The couple will give chastity a try for at least 3 months. First timers should lockup for 3 weeks at least and then evaluate / discuss. The keyholder does not have to (and should not) tell the planned release date. Keep him guessing.
That’s it: give it a go!
Give it a shot! You don’t have anything to lose, it may add a new level of intimacy to your relationship, and you will have a lot of fun doing it. I promise. Show your love to your husband, have sex freely and frequently, tease him, be playful and enjoy each other. The only thing you need to do is control is his ejaculations. Getting comfortable with male chastity can be challenging at first but it won’t be long until it becomes a normal everyday component of your relationship. Having talked to many women, the most common regret was that they didn’t start male chastity much earlier!
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