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oldidhrenniel · 5 years

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Lost Him // Sirius Black

➴ Summary: Sirius’s braincell is malfunctioning, again.

➴ Pairing: Sirius Black / Reader (3rd POV).

➴ Warnings: Truly just Sirius being an idiot.

➴ Wordcount: 1030.

➴ Tagged: @charmedevans @angelaiswriting @songforhema

If she killed Sirius but didn’t use magic, would she still go to Azkaban or to a muggle prison?

Azkaban was a horrible place and she wouldn’t risk being imprisoned there - although he was making it difficult to think about the consequences, but a muggle prison? She wouldn’t think twice before kicking his ass into the afterlife.

“You’re not listening to me, huh?” She was. Much to her own despair, she was.

Grunting, she got up from the couch and walked up to him. Sirius felt her anger and it scared him enough to make him walk backwards until he hit the wall.

Standing at arm length from him, she cleared her throat. “So, let me get this straight - James being the idiot he is thought that to make our uncle-aunt-nephew night more interesting, it would be fun to use the cloak for hide-and-seek?” Sirius nodded. “And I dared to leave for a second to get some water, so instead of using his actual blanket to wrap him up and put him to sleep- like I asked… You wrapped him up with the cloak and… lost him?” Another nod.

Even if it meant going to Azkaban, murdering him sounded like an appropriate response. But first, she had to find the four months old running through her apartment… being invisible.

Sirius didn’t lose him on purpose, alright, but he still did. He was old enough to understand that giving a child a cloak that would make him invisible was not a good idea at all but there she was looking for an invisible kid after his parents entrusted them with his well being.

“Fine,” she sighed. “Let’s split. You look through the kitchen and living room and I will check the bedrooms and bathroom. Be careful while walking, use a stick or something.”

Before he could agree or disagree - which he wouldn’t, she left for the master bedroom.

She walked with caution through the room, taking steps so small it got her wondering if she was moving at all. She wanted to see the comical part of the situation, imagine Harry running around and the two of them searching like idiots - it did sound fun, but it was also dangerous and what scared her the most was that, it didn’t seem like Sirius understood that. He was so used to be reckless, to not think about the consequences of his actions that sometimes he’d put other people in danger without realizing. Of course, Sirius didn’t want people to get hurt, but he needed to start thinking before he acted, otherwise it wouldn’t be long until he found himself in a dark corner, with no escape option whatsoever.

Kneeling down, she checked under the bed but all she found were her sneakers. Since she had checked the rest of the room, she got up from the floor with a long sigh. After exiting the master bedroom, she went into the guests’, carefully opening the door and stepping inside. Repeating the same process again, with no sign of Harry there either. Now, even more worried than before, she sat down in the bed and tried to think. Where would have Harry possibly go? Their apartment wasn’t big and all windows and doors were locked with magic and locks to ensure their safety with the ongoing war. He couldn’t have gotten far, right?

She looked towards the crib Sirius was supposed to put him to sleep and then a thought entered her mind. What if? Oh, Merlin! She scolded herself for not thinking about it earlier, then she ran towards the living room, where Sirius was still searching through for the child. Upon seeing her running around, all colour disappeared from his face.

“Be careful! You could step on him!” He caught her in his arms, forcing her to a stop.

She had the gift to laugh at the most inconvenient of times - hell, she couldn’t attend funerals because she would laugh the pain off. However, this time as she fell into his arms, shaking as she laughed and laughing even more as she watched Sirius’s confused face, she had a good reason. All the time she had worried Sirius had lost Harry, however, she had missed one important detail. When was the last time he saw him?

“I can’t believe I’m being the mature one but… I don’t think this is a laughing matter.”

“Sirius,” she shook her head and took a breath before continuing: “when was the last time you saw Harry before losing him?”

He thought about it for a moment, then replied: “when I wrapped him with the cloak.”

“And where was that?”

“In the room, where his crib is.”

She nodded. “Right, and now explain to me how could a four months old jump from his crib without us noticing? Or at least without me noticing?”

She waited for a few seconds and then, boom! Realization hit him right in the face and he let go of her and sprinted towards the room. Still giggling she followed him, a bit slower though. She had run enough for one night - and one life as well. When she reached the door to the room, Sirius had Harry in his arms - the baby was still asleep, unaware of the mess his uncle had just created for a simple distraction. Sirius was relieved, kissing him on his head and whispering words she couldn’t hear from where she was standing.

It got her thinking… She was sure as hell going to wait until he grew at least one brain cell before having children. Next time - and she was sure there would be a next time, he’d end up losing him for real. It was bad enough it was happening to her nephew but, her own kids? Oh, hell no, then she would murder Sirius without thinking twice and then her babies would grow up without parents because she would go to Azkaban. She couldn’t let that happen.

“Love!” Sirius called her out of her thoughts, smiling at her. “I didn’t lose him! You should have a little bit more of faith in me from now on!”

You know what? No children also sounded good.

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oldidhrenniel · 5 years

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When We Were Young / Levi Ackerman

➴ Summary: Forgetting is not simple, neither is loving him.

➴ Pairing: Levi / Reader (3rd Pov).

➴ Warnings: N/A.

➴ Wordcount: 1958.

Everybody loves the things you do

From the way you talk

To the way you move

Everybody here is watching you

'Cause you feel like home

You're like a dream come true

You and Erwin arrived late due to an accident on the road. After apologizing to the guests, he left to chat with some business partners. You were left alone - which didn’t come as a surprise, next to a group of people that seemed too concerned with wealth and power to see more than that. It was as exhausting as it was sad.

That was more than three hours ago. You had been walking around the place ever since, talking with some and ignoring others.

Leaving was still an option, she told herself. Leave and go to the closest fast food restaurant that could remind her there was more to the world than expensive dresses and fake laughs. But she couldn’t, it was an important night for Erwin and, whether he ignored her or not, she had to be there and show her support and love. Even if no one believed it.

As she took another glass of wine, a soft laugh caught her attention. Her head moved so fast towards the sound she felt her neck crack. The pain disappeared as soon as she saw him.

Levi stood tall - as tall as he could, next to an old man that was fascinated with him. It wasn’t a surprise, either. If she looked around all the guests were keeping an eye on him. Levi was being nice that night, but even if he wasn’t, he’d still be the center of attention.

But if by chance you're here alone

Can I have a moment

Before I go?

'Cause I've been by myself all night long

Hoping you're someone I used to know

How long had it been? A lustrum, perhaps. She thought that after so long, it would be easier to see him in person, but at the sight of him her heart stopped and when it started working again, it hurt more than she would admit.

Levi must had felt her presence; he turned his head to the side and looked at her. He wasn’t surprised to see her there, how could he? It was Erwin’s event, his wife had to be there, but he didn’t hide his deepest thoughts as good as he could had. The pain was there for less than a breath, but it was long enough for her to catch it, to feel it too. Then, as if ashamed, he turned his attention back to the guests, with her gaze fixed on his now clenched jawline.

He wasn’t looking but he was watching her - knowing this, she was quick to excuse herself and cross the room, exiting through the garden doors into the cold and silent night. It was as if she had moved to a whole different world - no chattering, echoing heels or laughing. There she could breath without suffocating, feel her emotions without fear or shame.

So she continued walking, deep into the gardens until she was far enough to see but a faint light where the mansion was supposed to be. Not sure how she got there so fast - she didn’t, but she felt no soreness whatsoever so she didn’t think it had been a long walk.

She felt his presence before she heard his voice and although she had braced herself for it, the hit was still hard. “Disappearing like that is not a smart move.”

“Following me isn’t one either, but here we are.” He chuckled. Gosh, she rubbed her arms in a vain attempt to hide the goosebumps.

What was wrong with her? She didn’t want to feel what she was feeling but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t want the sound of his voice to be able to calm her down and set her on fire, to look for him in a room no matter where she was; to wake up still hoping for him to be the one besides her. She didn’t want to, but she did.

If he would leave her alone, then perhaps the temptation wouldn’t be so strong. But if he had been able to, he would’ve done it.

You look like a movie

You sound like a song

My God, this reminds me

Of when we were young

Let me photograph you in this light

In case it is the last time

That we might be exactly like we were

Turning around, she was surprised to see him standing so close to her. An inch closer and their noses would touch. Her hand trembled at her side, urging her to touch him.

Would he refuse her touch? No, of course he wouldn’t.

She could see it in his face, he was just as desperate as she was.

It reminded her of a time when being so close together was normal for them and didn’t feel a sin. When all of her fantasies were true. That was so long ago, though, she thought. It felt as if a millenia had passed since then. Yet the feelings were just as strong.

Before she realized what she was doing, she put her hands on his shoulders and her fingers wrapped around a loose strand of hair. Levi didn’t think twice before wrapping his own arms around her waist, allowing their bodies to touch as he leaned in.

Levi looked beautiful in the moonlight; carefree and blissful as he lead them on a dance. The music from the mansion was too far and faint for them to follow it, so Levi had to improvise it and started singing one of their favourite songs. He used to blast it all the time when she had no reason to be sad, but was nonetheless. She couldn’t stop the tear that ran down her face at the memory. Levi wiped it off; his hand lingered on her face for a minute before it returned to her waist. He spun her around, making her laugh and scream at the same time.

In that moment, she and Levi were in an apartment downtown, doing their best to survive. As broke as rats, but happier than ever. Young, in love with no fear of the future. Together.

“Levi…” she whispered. “What happened to us?”

I was so scared to face my fears

Nobody told me that you'd be here

And I swear you moved overseas

That's what you said, when you left me

That was a stupid question, she knew what happened to them. She did. When Levi started to get busier with work - and richer for that matter, she started to shut herself up. Soon, Levi realized he no longer knew her and didn’t share the same ambitions, although he believed to be helping them both fulfill their dreams, she had stopped walking with him without warning. It hadn’t been lack of love, love was all she could feel towards him; but she got scared. Of not being good enough, of Levi becoming a different person - that fear consumed her to the point she didn’t realize she had been the one to become someone else. It was too late when she noticed: Levi had accepted a position in Japan and their paths diverged.

“Fear.”

His answer surprised her and she looked up at him to make sure she had heard him right. Not that she expected him to blame her and her insecurities, that wasn’t Levi, but to hear such a word coming out of his mouth in such a soft, broken voice, leaving him bare and open for her to see… Levi was ever the one to hide his emotions behind a hundred locks, but there he was facing his fears in front of her.

If she had just accepted the support he never failed to offer. How did she ever thought Levi wouldn’t be there to help her face her fears? Had she not known him at all?

It's hard to admit that

Everything just takes me back

To when you were there

And a part of me keeps holding on

Just in case it hasn't gone

His smell, his hair, even the feeling of his hands on her waist brought her back to a time when Levi was still hers and she was still his, and the biggest fear she had was failing class and losing her scholarship. To when Levi would wake up at 5 am on a weekend to help her with her studies, because he was the smartest of the two and he worked insane shifts.

She would trade all she had just to be able to go back to that time.

I guess I still care

It was a dangerous move, but her fears took enough from her and she couldn’t allow them to keep on doing it. Her hand went from his neck to his face, cupping his right side. She felt him take a breath; her touch made him nervous. It had been so long, he wasn’t used to it.

She stood on her tiptoes and leaned in, connecting their lips.

Do you still care?

Levi didn’t move at first, but when she was about to pull back he tightened his grip on her waist and kissed back; hard and desperate, as if he was drowning and she was all he could grab onto to keep afloat. It was fine, she knew the feeling. Because as soon as she felt him, he was all she needed. She could run out of air, he’d keep her alive.

At the sound of steps, Levi pulled back. He was still close enough that she could touch him if she wanted, but far enough that no one could know what had just happened.

She was still confused when a voice spoke from behind her. “You’re here!” The sound hurt, but she couldn’t tell who was in more pain, her or Levi.

Of course, she should’ve thought things twice before kissing her ex in a public place, but she had realized something: she was growing old, and not with him. Things weren’t as smooth as before, times were more difficult and their positions made it harder for them to be able to make a decision and stick to it. She could leave Erwin, right there and then, and choose Levi but then, Levi would risk losing all he had worked for.

Nothing was as simple as before. It was killing her.

“It’s too late,” Levi said before the person reached them. She wanted to argue, to fight for the future she wrecked in the past, but she stopped herself when she saw Erwin had reached them.

Erwin was a good man - a terrible husband, but a good man. He didn’t deserve that pain.

“You’re here! I was afraid something might happened.” He wasn’t, but she smiled at him and decided to let it pass. “Shall we?” Erwin offered his arm. She hesitated for a second before accepting it, grabbing her dress to not trip over it while walking.

She and Erwin started to walk back to the mansion, leaving Levi behind. Before she was too far, she turned around and looked at him one last time, remembering the last Christmas she spent with him, his face when she surprised him with a gift - how hard she had worked to get it. Levi’s laugh at her cream moustache, the cuddles in bed that seemed to never end, how he asked her to be his wife and how he made love to her that night, ring on her finger.

If only she could go back.

It was just like a movie

It was just like a song

All she wanted was to go back.

When we were young.

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