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Are you working towards your dreams
Omg no I’m not!!! But thank you for asking
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A husband notices his wife’s hearing is deteriorating and decides to visit her doctor for advice.
“I can’t speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc.
“There’s a simple trick you can try to determine her hearing” explains the doctor. “Simply ask her a question at a distance and if she doesn’t hear you, move slightly closer and ask again until she does”.
That night, the husband arrives home and sees his wife in the kitchen cooking. He thinks to himself, “what a perfect opportunity to test her hearing”.
He stands in the doorway of the kitchen and promptly asks;
“What’s for dinner honey?”
No answer. He moves closer.
“What’s for dinner honey?”
Still no answer. He moves even closer.
“What’s for dinner honey?”
Still his wife doesn’t answer. He now sees how serious her hearing problem is. At this point, he is stood right next to his wife.
“What’s for dinner honey?”
“FOR THE FOURTH FUCKING TIME WE’RE HAVING CHICKEN”
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Dude 1 : Hey, Bro? 
Dude 2 : Yeah Bro? 
Dude 1 : Can you pass me that pamphlet?
Dude 2 : Brochure
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oh, crime confession time? this isnt illegal, but it is very funny and my family hates me for it. context: my brother is 20, in the army, and has an 18 year old wife fresh out of high school, because he wanted an apartment and more benefits because army wife shit. he is a trump supporter. i am also 18, and a lesbian. bro gets booted from the army cause of asthma, divorces his wife, and moves back to florida. i made friends with his wife. i slept with his wife. anyway his wife is my wife now lol
HFNDGDHFHDHJSD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCK. INCREDIBLY ICONIC OF YOU A LEGEND WALKS AMONGST US
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Gay songs and their vibes
She - Dodie ✨y è a r n i n g✨
Bad idea! - girl in red Toxic relationship with an ex
Girls like girls - Hayley Kiyoko Just come out - aggressively gay and proud
Wish you were gay - Claud Fell in love with a straight girl
1950 - king princess Never being able to get over an ex
I wanna be your girlfriend - Girl in red Desperately in love with someone you can’t be with
Girls - Rita Ora “Straight” girl experimenting
Sweater weather - The Neighbourhood Bisexual ✌🏼
Girls - Girl in red Closeted/baby gay
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Enough already
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losing it over this
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the reason bisexual and nonbinary people get so much hate is because we challenge the idea that people can be separated into little boxes to stop them from mixing with and “corrupting” the others. doesn’t matter which bathroom i use, if they’re marked with a binary gender then i’m gonna be in there with people who aren’t my gender. doesn’t matter who i date (or don’t), there’s always the potential that i could date someone with a gender different from previous partners. we are living breathing proof that any attempt to contain human gender & sexuality is doomed to failure and i think that’s very sexy of us
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So last night I dreamed that it was winter and I was at a shopping mall and I looked outside and saw this guy walking his borzoi, who was wearing this giant snow suit.  But then the guy heard me laughing through the window and got REALLY mad at me.
Anyway, the dog looked like this.
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PLEASE tell me people on tumblr have been keeping up with that wannabe riot grrl band with disney-level "punk" aesthetics that came out of nowhere and people are calling them an industry plant because im so invested in this
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pulling stunts that strengthen the public’s perception of gay people as satanic perverts is a shitty thing to do. the end
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they got that they/them Ăľussy
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things are going to be difficult. But you
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Mad respect and love for what this soul just unleashed <3
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hallowed be thy ween
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