one-pavlov-dog - Tumblr blog

[one-pavlov-dog]

I hate jasper as much as the next guy but with his gift he could be an incredible therapist

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i bought midnight sun after pirating it for so long (still havent finished)

the fact that they do insider trading is hilarious to me

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please give me the aftermath of massacred bio class

What if in that bio class, instead of cowering, Bella got all agressive at Edward for staring murder at her like: "Do we have a problem or what?"?

Edward was barely holding on to his sanity and concentration.

I think something as little as that, one such provocation, could have been enough to tip him over and then it's a massacred Biology class.

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i can’t believe hasbro would air this

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The Gang Gets Ponified

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remind me to make a gamer emmett edit, or draw it ig

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Vampirism makes any and all speedruns done by said afflicted into a tas run

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I have two separate questions:

1. Bella suddenly turns into a talking dog somtime after Twilight but before her birthday. How do the Cullens react? Do they still leave?

2. In a completely separate universe, Edward suddenly turns into a talking vampiric dog in the same time frame. Do the Cullens still leave?

This is very important data.

"It's for science"

I look forward to your fic, anon, starring Bella the crime fighting talking dog and her supernatural companions the Cullens. I also expect them to be on a spaceship.

Bella Turns into a Talking Dog

Pfft, how do the Cullens react. Oh, oh honey, you just set Edward up as a primary murder suspect.

Bella disappears at some point during the summer with no trace. She's simply gone. There's a search party out for her. And guess who she's dating at the time?

The boyfriend/husband is always a suspect, always, and Edward's going to look so shady with his family that keeps to themselves, his hot and cold behavior during school, his odd behavior in Port Angeles with Jessica and Angela as witnesses.

And the Cullens absolutely cannot afford Edward to get fingerprinted (if vampires even have fingerprints which I rather doubt), have DNA tested, or any of the above.

The Cullens have to leave town.

Now.

Worse, the Cullens have to die, perhaps forever. Edward's face is going to be in a police database, this story could go viral even with the early internet, Dr. Cullen will be a known quantity who cannot look exactly like the Dr. Cullen who disappeared off the face of the Earth when Edward was suspected of murder.

This is all rather fortunate as Bella is now a talking dog.

I imagine she finds herself with the Cullens and tells them her plight: she's a dog now! Help!

Well, the only place to take her is Volterra where Aro suspects she must have some bizarre shapeshifting gift among other things. He has no idea what's going on, but they should try to turn her.

There's much todo over who should bite Bella the dog or if she should be bitten while she's a dog or if she can even be turned at all. She does still smell delicious, though.

Carlisle gets the honors as he has the best track record.

Bella wants Edward to do it.

Unfortunately for Bella, Edward has been in deep despair this entire time. He's upset that he's suspected of her murder by the entire town of Forks and especially the Quileute Tribe, he's upset that the era of the Cullens is apparently over because he's a murder suspect and they now have to go live in the woods for decades at a minimum, he's upset they're in Volterra asking the help of Aro, and now he's upset that even though Bella's a dog her life is ruined and she's being turned into a vampire.

Or a dog.

It's unclear which is going to happen here.

I imagine Edward mercy-eats Bella the dog before we can find out whether dog + Bella + venom = vampire.

No one has any idea what to say to any of this.

It's a dark time in the Cullen's lives that they don't discuss.

Edward Turns into a Dog

Well, they can't stay in Forks now, because Carlisle's going to be suspected of murdering his own son.

Edward, of course, wants to break up with Bella because he's a dog and now even more of a monstrosity than he was when he was a vampire. Bella, however, beats down the door to see him when the Cullens tell her he's sick.

She swears to him that she loves him even though he's a dog. She's always loved dogs. Their love is true and pure, and they'll get through this together and she will love Edward the dog for eternity when the Cullens turn her into a vampire.

Cue looking at the Cullens expectently.

They look back.

They... hadn't thought about that.

Alice can't see Edward anymore because he's a dog. She can't even see the family anymore because Edward's here and he's a dog. She has no idea if Bella and Edward can work out long term (or short term) when he's a dog.

The rest hadn't thought Bella would factor into this.

They haven't been sure what to think of Bella's integration into their lives or relationship with Edward. Edward did seem happier, when not a dog, but this all has been a little fast? And Bella's human?

There's a very quick discussion Bella's kicked out of.

Rosalie is not in favor of turning Bella. She'd be throwing away her entire future AND EDWARD IS A FUCKING DOG. Edward the dog, while hating being called a dog, agrees in that they can't let Bella waste her life and become a vampire and pursue a relationship with a dog.

Edward, in fact, is wondering if they shouldn't put him out of his misery.

Esme is pro Bella if only because Edward can't lose his girlfriend and his humanity all in one day. He just can't. Too tragic.

The Cullens veto Edward's assisted suicide request as well as Bella's becoming a vampire. They have to deal with this Edward dog issue first.

They tell Bella. And by they, it's Carlisle, as Edward refuses to talk to her in his miserable canine state. He can't bear for her to look at him, wretched mongrel that he is.

She doesn't take it well.

Edward then, as a dog, has to tell her it's not the dog thing: he's gotten bored. She was a temporary distraction, it just happens to be time to move, while he's a dog, and he'll get over her quickly enough.

She has the rest of her human future to pursue, and she'll forget all about him! It will be like he never existed.

And definitely was never a dog.

Bella falls into New Moon disappear and the Cullens begin the process of leaving town, Edward being sick and Carlisle getting a suddenly new job across the country, look at that.

Bella helps to vouch for Edward being alive to her friends and family, sobbing all while she does so.

We get New Moon, but Edward's a dog.

Edward the dog wanders in despair to Rio where he's a miserable wretch through Carnival. If he's an immortal dog, he survives, if not I imagine he gets hit by a car somewhere.

Bella, meanwhile, falls into depression and has her friendship with Jacob. Jacob gets told by Bella that Edward, too, turned into a dog. Jacob... does not feel great about that.

The first time she sees Jake shift, she cries and nearly has a panic attack, because it reminds her of Edward and causes the black hole in her chest to expand.

Hallucination Edward is a person and that makes her cry too.

Because Edward's a dog now and rejected her in his time of need because she was dead weight.

If Edward's an immortal dog, he goes to Volterra to kill himself when Bella jumps off a cliff. (How he operates that cellphone he carries in a plastic bag around his neck is a question for another day.) Aro then gets the singular joy and surreal experience of a talking dog named Edward Cullen, Carlisle's son by the way, asking him for assisted suicide because his human girlfriend killed herself after he abandoned her because he became a dog.

Unfortunately for Edward, he can't break the law because he's a dog. He can neither walk in sunlight nor eat all of Saint Marcus' square. Because he's a dog.

And because Alice can't see him, Bella never runs to save him from certain doom.

Edward has to settle for being the annoying talking dog who asks Aro each morning if he please won't kill him.

"Not today, Edward, not today. Hang in there, Spot." Aro says, then desperately goes elsewhere to do something else, wondering if he should tell Carlisle that his suicidal dog-son is here and asking to be murdered.

[one-pavlov-dog]

You get isekai'd into the Twiverse as a newborn vampire. Thoughts of the Volturi, the Cullens, and Bella Swan are far from your mind, as you look and see the person that turned you is Eleazar. What do you do?

...

Anon, I don't think the question you asked is the question you think you're asking.

What Did Anon Ask?

This isn't an SI insert of Muffin with full knowledge in Twilight, this is a Muffin style insert with little to no knowledge who suddenly finds themselves feeling a lot like they're on meth.

In other words, I'm not sure why we're putting me into this scenario.

But okay.

What Happens?

I'm very fucking confused, that's what happens. I've been turned into a crystal demon, told to eat deer even though I suddenly want to eat people, and I'm a part of a harem maybe? Unclear, I just know a lot of men walk into that door and seem to have sex with multiple women and I am now one of those women. Probably. Though they tell me it's okay not to do it yet as I'd probably eat them.

In fact, I realize very quickly there is drama abounding. The Denali had a great thing going on and then Eleazar had to go and fucking turn someone.

Now, there's a newborn vampire in the house, which gets in the way of sexy times as you can't bring in human men when there's a vampire who's probably going to eat them, Carmen's wondering what this is even supposed to mean for her relationship with Eleazar, and no one is believing Eleazar when he says this is a super awesome thing and Dear Muffin will be a sister in no time.

They would kick me out, but that's against the law to abandon a newborn. But it is decided that I must leave. Sex must be had and I am in the way.

I find myself on a road trip with Eleazar, I imagine he takes me to visit the Cullens as he now finds himself technically homeless. He tries to dump me off onto them, but they are also not having it for similar reasons (newborn vampire is getting in the way of the high school routine, there's already a fuck ton of them, etc.)

I feel very very awkward about all of this.

But I'm dumped onto Carlisle who agrees to take me when Eleazar refuses to leave until he takes me. The Cullens have to leave the town of Forks early because of this, as they will now have to hang out in nowhere for as long as it takes for my control to be reasonable.

If the Bella thing is going on at this point, I have no idea until Bella comes over and confronts the family about this sudden departure. I... probably end up eating the very delicious smelling Bella at this point.

I am forever the vampire who ate Edward's girlfriend.

Edward then goes to Volterra to kill himself and I am forever the vampire who ate Edward's girlfriend and thus made him kill himself.

The family breaks apart, the grief and blame and tension too much, especially when I'm still there and not kicked out after murdering (sort of) Edward, and it just ends up being me and Carlisle.

"Sorry for ruining your family, man"

"That's quite alright."

[one-pavlov-dog]

why is my partner’s family flipping out over my cat having a 10 day recovery period from her spay??? she had literal organs removed and you think she should be up and at em immediately???

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Bella in bd be like

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some random woman’s thoughts: oh hey, he’s kind of hot.

Edward Cullen: Dear Diary. Today another WHORE vies for my affection. Existence is agony.

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here’s edythe, who could have just been named edith but it was real mormon hours when steph decided to write the same book. anyway, i always think about how edward/edythe is supposed to look really young - actually like a 17 year old. going more for the sculpture corpse look here. anyway, here’s edythe trying to get bella to eat some fruit bc she clearly has low blood sugar and could use the vitamni c.