onecantsimply - Tumblr blog

[onecantsimply]

Headcanons for (if your ok with it.) Jack,Noah,Hlokk,and Heracles if the reader showed them the movie Damsel (2024) on Netflix. It’s a good movie.

The trailer makes it look woke but the main girl is NOT the girl power,strong,bitchy woman,who can beat the enemy from the start kind of main character that we see in so many movies now a days.

But she’s not, it’s a survival movie and she LEARNS how to survive in the place she is literally thrown.

I’ve unfortunately never watched that-

[onecantsimply]

Do you... Perhaps... Write for Arthur Gray?

Yeah I’ll write for Arthur lmfao-

Send it in-

[onecantsimply]

No winners except Jack who got the fucking Holy Grail- That man got practically no opps-

Genuine question: Is Morton hotter with white hair or black hair?

Ngl I kinda hated his black hair at first since I was more accustomed to his white or blond hair-

But after I read it a little more, I started to get attached to the black hair-

I think the white hair’s the OG, but I do like the black hair more-

It may be a little more generic but it’s kind of the same either way-

Morton is… chef’s kiss to me lmfao-

If he’s ugly af behind that mask I’m literally going to collapse-

[onecantsimply]

One group meat rides their skunk haired “Demigod” and deadbeat father of a leader while the other group survives the warning known as Arthur for the entirety of Chapter 24 lmfao-

Genuine question: Is Morton hotter with white hair or black hair?

Ngl I kinda hated his black hair at first since I was more accustomed to his white or blond hair-

But after I read it a little more, I started to get attached to the black hair-

I think the white hair’s the OG, but I do like the black hair more-

It may be a little more generic but it’s kind of the same either way-

Morton is… chef’s kiss to me lmfao-

If he’s ugly af behind that mask I’m literally going to collapse-

[onecantsimply]

I didn’t translate it yet but god damn I know this man was rambling- He fr chewing everyone’s ears off- I feel bad for Gina- That girl got smacked with an old man cane before getting straight up KO’d by a “A new fighter has appeared!” kinda thing from Arthur- Skunk looking ass-

Genuine question: Is Morton hotter with white hair or black hair?

Ngl I kinda hated his black hair at first since I was more accustomed to his white or blond hair-

But after I read it a little more, I started to get attached to the black hair-

I think the white hair’s the OG, but I do like the black hair more-

It may be a little more generic but it’s kind of the same either way-

Morton is… chef’s kiss to me lmfao-

If he’s ugly af behind that mask I’m literally going to collapse-

[onecantsimply]

That old man has his smacking cane and the ability to throw people under a bus. That’s all- That’s literally all I’ve seen him do other than look at people with that resting bitch face- Real bitch face- Like, old man fuckery face-

Genuine question: Is Morton hotter with white hair or black hair?

Ngl I kinda hated his black hair at first since I was more accustomed to his white or blond hair-

But after I read it a little more, I started to get attached to the black hair-

I think the white hair’s the OG, but I do like the black hair more-

It may be a little more generic but it’s kind of the same either way-

Morton is… chef’s kiss to me lmfao-

If he’s ugly af behind that mask I’m literally going to collapse-

[onecantsimply]

That man needs that info, and Morton has it- Albeit for a price, that man knows everything- He is the all wise lmfao-

Honestly Pimon just got that going on- He a fucking rat that can’t hold his tongue when it comes to blaming-

“Due to our incompetence”- Atp just blame it on Morton. His men were doing more than he could-

Genuine question: Is Morton hotter with white hair or black hair?

Ngl I kinda hated his black hair at first since I was more accustomed to his white or blond hair-

But after I read it a little more, I started to get attached to the black hair-

I think the white hair’s the OG, but I do like the black hair more-

It may be a little more generic but it’s kind of the same either way-

Morton is… chef’s kiss to me lmfao-

If he’s ugly af behind that mask I’m literally going to collapse-

[onecantsimply]

He literally cannot aim for shit- Any time he hits anyone it’s gonna be by pure luck- Or it’s gotta be point blank-

Genuine question: Is Morton hotter with white hair or black hair?

Ngl I kinda hated his black hair at first since I was more accustomed to his white or blond hair-

But after I read it a little more, I started to get attached to the black hair-

I think the white hair’s the OG, but I do like the black hair more-

It may be a little more generic but it’s kind of the same either way-

Morton is… chef’s kiss to me lmfao-

If he’s ugly af behind that mask I’m literally going to collapse-

[onecantsimply]

Nah- Morton can’t even hit a single one of his shots lmfao- The only time he almost landed one was when he almost shot Jasper in the ass-

Genuine question: Is Morton hotter with white hair or black hair?

Ngl I kinda hated his black hair at first since I was more accustomed to his white or blond hair-

But after I read it a little more, I started to get attached to the black hair-

I think the white hair’s the OG, but I do like the black hair more-

It may be a little more generic but it’s kind of the same either way-

Morton is… chef’s kiss to me lmfao-

If he’s ugly af behind that mask I’m literally going to collapse-

[onecantsimply]

God may forgive everyone for their crimes but he will never forgive Morton for that haircut.

And god, if only he were like V from V For Vendetta. He’d probably be an enemy of the Thames Trading Company- Wouldn’t say he’d be on Jack’s side either since The Sentinel works for the government.

Genuine question: Is Morton hotter with white hair or black hair?

Ngl I kinda hated his black hair at first since I was more accustomed to his white or blond hair-

But after I read it a little more, I started to get attached to the black hair-

I think the white hair’s the OG, but I do like the black hair more-

It may be a little more generic but it’s kind of the same either way-

Morton is… chef’s kiss to me lmfao-

If he’s ugly af behind that mask I’m literally going to collapse-

[onecantsimply]

Genuine question: Is Morton hotter with white hair or black hair?

Ngl I kinda hated his black hair at first since I was more accustomed to his white or blond hair-

But after I read it a little more, I started to get attached to the black hair-

I think the white hair’s the OG, but I do like the black hair more-

It may be a little more generic but it’s kind of the same either way-

Morton is… chef’s kiss to me lmfao-

If he’s ugly af behind that mask I’m literally going to collapse-

[onecantsimply]

So how we feeling about Chapters 23 and 24 (*cough* and also the reveal that Pimon is one big Arthur simp)?

I was mostly focused on Morton ngl-

But the shit is actually getting started-

Yeah… It’s all getting put together-

Really I got no idea of what to think other than the shit is finally fucking starting-

[onecantsimply]

My man Hercules deserves more love fr fr

Indeed he does.

He doesn’t get much love aside from sketches, unfortunately

[onecantsimply]

If you're currently accepting requests, I would like a somewhat angsty fluff with MReader arriving in Valhalla many years after Jack's death.

They of course become their prime age, but they're like much physically older than Jack now, and he probably wouldn't recognize them at first cuz of how much they've aged compared to them. ((Like mid 50s and very handsome lol or some-))

They also have a nasty disfiguration on half of their face and missing leg, which made them more unrecognizable, but eventually Jack sees a fea features that resembled their beloved and finally recognizes them.

After that, you can decide how Jack would react and what they would do after recognizing his long awaited husband.

In the form of a request this is my half assed apology about the two angst thingies earlier lol-

Jack was in a rather cozy building, fixing up something to eat. Suddenly, he heard the door creak open, making him faintly stop.

(... I don't believe anyone should be in my afterlife. -Jack)

He looked back whilst he dried his hands. There, he saw an older looking man step into the building. His back was turned, but Jack felt something familiar about this man. "... Something smells good." The man spoke.

That voice. What was so familiar about it? Was it someone he killed before? Was it someone he knew that he forgot? There was an odd pressure that wanted him to remember so badly... and yet, he could never put his finger on it.

"Ah, excuse me, Sir." The man stopped. He then looked back. Jack's eyes faintly widened once he saw the burn scar on one half of their face. "... Jack?" The man called out. He began to walk towards the silver haired man, the wooden peg on his leg softly tapping against the floor. The closer he got, the more weak Jack could feel his legs becoming.

How could he forget? His own lover from so long ago...

"Jack?" The man held his hand out to the other. "Are you alright?"

Jack never wasted any time, immediately embracing the man in front of him. This seemed to make his eyes widen faintly. But yet, they immediately went back to normal as he smiled faintly. "I'm home." He spoke, gently hugging the silver haired man back. "What happened-?" After a second, he pulled away to trace the burn scars over (Y/n)'s face. "I got blasted in the face." He smirked faintly. "I look good, don't I?" He questioned. Jack softly sighed. He then chuckled faintly. "I suppose you really weren't the type to worry about things such as this..." The man pulled (Y/n) into a soft kiss, finally getting what he's wanted for so long. After a small while, the pair pulled away. "... Do you mind helping me with the food?" Jack questioned. "I just died. Seriously?" (Y/n) chuckled. "I have your favorite getting prepared right now. Do you truly wish to miss it?" The silver haired male arched an eyebrow before (Y/n) walked towards the ingredients. "I wouldn't miss this for the whole world." The man spoke.

Jack took the chance to analyze his own husband and his figure. He was surely more different than before. And yet, Jack knew fully well that he acted the exact same as when he were younger.

"You know..." The man smiled faintly. "You look like Sir Pimon." (Y/n) stopped. He then looked back at Jack. "... You're gonna get it. I'm not that old." The male snorted. "And just how old are you, then?" He questioned. (Y/n) held up a finger to protest, only to stop to think. "... Around... 50...?" He looked to the side to think more as Jack snorted. "You're older than me." The silver haired man spoke. "Crazy, right?" The pair started to cut and prepare the ingredients together.

Something seemed so much better about the house now.

At least Jack knew he finally had his husband again.

[onecantsimply]

He Has Only Ever Loved But Twice

Another angst let's go lol.

If and when Jack ever speaks of the one he's loved before, it's a must that you will keep it to yourself. Jack has only ever loved but twice. He's loved his Mother, and he's loved another. Another that he met in his younger years.

It was a time where he knew he may have had his younger years pushing at him to do things he would never do now. But, through one of those instances, he found you.

You were a simple person, running a cafe and doing whatever you needed to make sure it kept running. Customers were always in and out, but through a simple instance of where Jack was having a certain craving, he met you. The wonderful person behind the counter, and the person he would keep in mind for the rest of his years.

You were a gentle soul, keeping your kindness and your purity on your sleeve. He didn't even need to remove his monocle to see what you were feeling. And frankly, he thought it was beautiful either way. Your lovely face and your lovely appearance, or your truly beautiful colors lining your silhouette.

Jack has only ever loved once by then. But yet, when he interacted with you while buying a treat for himself, he could only feel the unbearable warmth that coursed through him. He didn't even know you, and yet your energy brightened his day.

He visited another day. Same result. And he visited another day. The same result. Those days turned into weeks, and those weeks turned into months. Those months turned into years. By now, you had his order memorized by heart. You knew he always wanted a slice of apple pie with some darjeeling tea with two teaspoons sugar and a small splash of milk.

Within these years, Jack grew more accustomed to a gentleman-like behavior. But only once did he manage to ask you out. You were rather flustered with the request. But yet, you knew this man for perhaps years.

You two had small talk, and sometimes managed to see each other outside of the cafe. How different would this be?

You agreed to his request. Words couldn't express how happy he was. He took you to many places and took his time with you. Seeing you for a much longer time than he usually does seemed to take him into a world of love. Truly, he loved you. Truly, he wanted to be with you for the rest of his years. You knew his feelings as well, and you agreed to it. You were his.

Jack thought this was finally an upside to his situation. He thought he could finally have someone with him.

But he wasn't a simple man. You were a simple person that ran a cafe. He was an assassin. A man that had many targets on his back because of how he killed and how much he managed to murder. Of course it placed a target on your back as well when he left someone alive on one of his jobs.

Of course the cards dealt to him on a certain day made him lose you. He wanted to give you a gift, so he stayed out a little later to get flowers. If he hadn't, perhaps he could have been able to save you. If he were just a little faster in his choosing, perhaps you would have lived. He knew it was simple excuses when he saw that you were lifeless in his arms with others approaching to kill him.

Jack never paid attention to anyone else when this happened, and instead kept his eyes on you. It felt like his world was gone. Taken from him in a manner it shouldn't have been. He knew there were people rushing at him to kill him. Truthfully, he wanted to die because he couldn't protect you. But he didn't want to let go. At least not yet.

He didn't let any of them take you away from him, but he knew pieces of his being were already long gone by the time he saw you.

That weight never left his being when he knew he had to let you go. He never did, even when his eyes watched you being lowered in your own grave.

 Jack only ever loved but twice. Once for the mother that used him for another man. And twice for the significant other unfortunate enough to be caught by his eyes.

[onecantsimply]

Love Is Silent

Jack The Ripper x Reader

Just a small angst- Here we go-

• Jack always expressed his feelings in ways that weren’t words. He expressed it in acts of service, and the simple bliss to be with you. He may not have known it was love until he fell hard. But he never minded.

• Somewhat, he doubted that someone like you could be with someone like him. He sometimes thought that you would be better with someone more normal. Someone that hasn’t shed blood for the sake of a purifying color.

• It wasn’t something he wanted. He didn’t want you to be with anyone else. He didn’t want to be in a constant craving for fear either. But he just had to. It was uncontrollable at some instances, and he needed a satiation.

• The reason he grew so infatuated was because you cared. You worried for him. You were the one that found him injured in an alley, and you were the one that put him back to top shape. You were the one that helped him recover, and you were the one that cared for his being.

• Jack viewed you as a person he owes his life to. He’d do anything for you, and he’d do anything to keep you safe. It was an unusual feeling in his body. And it was a heartthrob that he couldn’t exactly take.

• He wanted to be near you, and he wanted to be the one that could hold you in his arms.

• But he always kept his love silent. Even if Jack is a man that wants your love, and even if he is a man that would kill for it, he knows you aren’t deserving of it. You don’t need a husband that would kill others just to force you to love him. You don’t need someone that would force you to look at him and choose him.

• That’s why he remained as your friend, watching from the sidelines when you got married to another man. It was a pain he wished he could recede, but you were happy. You probably could have been happy with him. But he knew you would have been happier with another man.

• A man that could treat you better. A man that could treat you without having the thought of killing anyone. If you were happy with another man, he was happy for you.

• Jack always kept his love silent. Maybe if he were a bit more selfish, he could have gotten you. But if he were like so, would you truly be happy with him?

• He always pushed away those thoughts when he slowly began to disappear from your life until he was no more.

• But there remained the feelings he had for you, even after so long.

[onecantsimply]

Hi. I'm back. After like a month or two. Maybe more of not updating, I'm back. I've basically been doing things on Wattpad and Ao3, but I've never took the time to go on here unless I needed to take in my daily dose of Jack content. For once that I didn't update... that's my bad LOL-

Okay. I’m doing a JTR oneshot on here- I discussed something with my best friend over on Discord- And I want to try it on here just to give a sample-

So I present to you... Metal Bat, the Yandere JTR Jikenbo x GN Reader I actually want to update lol-

This is basically a Goro Majima Reader x Yandere JTR Jikenbo characters. But be aware that Reader is already in a relationship. With Jack. And he will not let them go HH-

Characters like Kiryu and Jack do not belong to me, nor does the concept of Majima belong to me.

Now that we're done with that... let's get this going.

Warnings: Some violence, Gender Neutral Reader, Reader being addressed as Sir because "Mx" sounds too weird in a non-disrespectful way, Reader being crazy because they're basically Majima-

————

"Wh-Who are you?" A male mumbled to a black haired man who carried a suitcase of money. 

"I saw that shit, Kiryu-chan!" Another person's voice spoke. The pair looked towards it, seeing someone carrying an umbrella over their shoulder with a grin. They had an eyepatch over their right eye, as well as a suit over their figure. "M-Mx-?! Kiryu-?! You mean..." The first man mumbled. "Yep! The Dragon of Dojima, Kazuma Kiryu-chan!" The black haired man silently bowed his head. "It's been a while, Sir (Y/n)." Kiryu spoke as the person in front of him chuckled, the two men behind them following after with soft glares over their faces. "Put a lid on the formal shit. Heard you were gonna head up yer own family soon." They spoke while walking around Kiryu to the man on the floor. "By the way... this bar over here." (Y/n) looked up at a building. "That's where your sweetheart works, right? And I hear she's real easy on the eyes. Everyone's sayin so." (Y/n) continued to walk around Kiryu's figure. "They all just want in on the action!" He stayed silent with his same expression as he saw the person lean in. They then looked back at the man on the floor. "Anyways, whaddya wanna do with this fool?" He jolted. "I'm sorry! I didn't know it was you, Sir Kiryu!" He shook his head. "No, it's fine." The male spoke. "Too soft, Kiryu-chan! Soft as a marshmallow! You gotta make things right! Like this!" 

(Y/n) whacked their umbrella into the man's face. 

"I ain't even done!" 

They continued to smack their umbrella down on the unfortunate man's face again and again. 

(Y/n) then turned the umbrella around, aiming to stab the man right in the face. 

Well, that was until their wrist was suddenly grabbed, stopping the man from his own possible death. 

"The hell?" (Y/n) glared at Kiryu. "He's had enough." The male replied. "But I was only doin' it for you." The person tilted their head with barely saddened eyes. "And I say it's enough, so-" Kiryu was cut off. "Oh...? Well, fine then." (Y/n) nodded. "But when ya get your own men, you're gonna have to lay down the law. Let's roll." The person turned as their men did the same. "Yeah. I'll keep that in mind." Kiryu replied. "But..." This made (Y/n) stop. "Huh?" They looked back at Kiryu. "But what?" They questioned. "I'm going to do things my own way." Kiryu answered. (Y/n)'s eyebrows seemed to furrow as they walked towards the male. "And what way is that?" They questioned. "It'll be the right way." Kiryu answered. "The hell? You tryna start shit?!" (Y/n) leaned closer to him, their remaining eye glaring into his face. "I'll fight ya right here, right now!" They spoke. "No." Kiryu firmly answered as he stood his ground. "I've got no reason to fight you." He spoke. "There's no point." He added. 

(Y/n) immediately slapped the male across the face. 

"How 'bout now?" They questioned with a grin. "That enough reason to fight?" The person asked again. "... If I've made you angry, Sir (Y/n), I apologize." This response only seemed to irritate the person even further. "What was that?" They questioned. 

(Y/n) then whacked Kiryu across the face with their umbrella. 

"C'mon! Show me you've got some balls and fight back!" 

He received another hit to the face, making blood trickle down the side of his head. 

"And with that... Are we done here?" Kiryu questioned. "Huh?!" (Y/n)'s eyebrows furrowed yet again as they tossed their umbrella off to the side. They then took out their Demonfire dagger, pointing it up to Kiryu's face. He stood entirely firm without any sense of hesitance. "You talk tough... But I wonder how long that'll last." (Y/n) spoke. 

(Y/n) pulled their knife back before stabbing it at Kiryu's face. 

Yet, he stayed entirely still, his figure still entirely still. 

Just like a statue. 

As (Y/n) expected... 

"... Whatever." They sighed as they tilted their head. "No point? You're just makin' things harder on yourself. Deprivin' yourself for no reason." (Y/n) slightly leaned towards Kiryu while sheathing their dagger. They then placed a hand over his shoulder. "You think the world gives two shits about if there's a point or two? Keep that up, and it'll break ya." 

(Y/n)'s eyes somewhat reflected of sadness. 

"You can see it however you want. But... Nothing you can say is going to change my mind." Kiryu answered. "... No matter what happens?" (Y/n) tilted their head again. "... Right." Kiryu nodded. The person took a few steps back with their arms crossed in thought. But in a simple minute, they grinned while looking at him with clear mischievous intent. "You got it then! I'm gonna see those ideals of yours to the end! I'll have my remaining eye on ya 24/7!" Kiryu could feel his brows somewhat furrow with confusion. "What?" He questioned. "And then, when there's a point... Are ya gonna be willing to fight me?" (Y/n) leaned forward with anticipation. "... I won't know till the time comes." Kiryu answered. "Hell yeah!!" 

The person clapped their hands before punching their fist into the air. "Then all I need to do is come up with a plan to make ya fight me! Let's bounce, guys!!" They turned to their men with a laugh as they bowed their heads. (Y/n) walked past them before stopping, looking back at Kiryu. "See ya soon, Kiryu-chan! Looking forward to some fun!" He only stared with narrowed eyes as (Y/n) continued to walk out of the alley. "Man, this is gonna be sweet!" They jumped into the air before clapping one side of their foot with the other. 

- Later on - 

It was now night time within London, with (Y/n) silently walking down the dark streets. Rain showered down on the surfaces of the ground and the roofs as the person continued to make their way down the soaked streets. They could both hear and feel the pattering of the rain on their figure. It felt... odd. Weird. It didn't feel right. The person then continued to walk forward as they heard men ushering prostitutes towards them. Some had played along as others immediately walked away. (Y/n) then made their way towards a certain house. As they walked towards the window, they saw a silver haired man cooking something. A post it note was beside him on the counter.

(The man kept that. -(Y/n))

They softly chuckled before tapping on the window. The man looked back, only to stop once he saw them grin faintly. He only smiled in reply while walking over, opening the window. "You could have used the front door, Dearest." He spoke. "So? It was easier gettin' your attention like this, Jacky." (Y/n) crept in through the window before shutting it behind them. "You're drenched!" The silver haired man spoke with worry. "Eh? This? Nah, don't worry about that." (Y/n) smiled. "You'll get sick! You brung an umbrella. Where is it?" Jack questioned. (Y/n) stopped. "Ah... Wanna leave that for later, Prince?" They answered with a question. "That's the fifth one you've lost, (Y/n)." The man sighed. "Ah, come on, Prince." They walked over to him. "I was talking to Kiryu." Jack looked towards (Y/n). "Do you mean whacking him?" He questioned. "You know me so well." They smiled as well before they looked back at the food. "Watcha cookin', Prince?" They questioned. "I planned on serving this to you when it was actually ready. However, you got home a little earlier than I thought." Jack smiled faintly. "Oops?" (Y/n) arched an eyebrow. "The only thing you need to say that for is being drenched and getting the floor dirty." They looked down at the ground. "... Oops." Jack gently pushed them out of the kitchen. "Go take a shower." He spoke. "Fine, fine." (Y/n) took off their shoes before heading up the stairs.

Whilst they had done so, Jack had continued to cook.

It didn't take long until (Y/n) had came back down with more casual wear. "My Dear... Why do you wish to wear that?" Jack questioned. He turned off the stove before gently adjusting (Y/n)'s snakeskin blazer. "Is it not comfortable?" They smirked faintly. "... You know... You don't need to be like this with me." Jack gently placed one of his hands by their face, seeing their smirk slightly drop. "... You know fully well I can see through you like a mirror. What's wrong, Dear?" He questioned.

(Y/n)'s amused expression, as well as the rest of their smirk seemed to drop when they leaned into his figure with a tired sigh. "... Difficult day?" Jack questioned as he gently hugged them close. They silently nodded as the male brushed his hand through their damp hair. He then gently pulled away. "Why don't you tell me about it by the table?" Jack smiled faintly. "Alright, Prince." (Y/n) faintly nodded with a soft smile.