oneofhagridsmonsters

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..

Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......

Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.

Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...

Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.

A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.

Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.

PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.

Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.

Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.

Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.

Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.

Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.

An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere

Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.

Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.

Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?

Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.

Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.

Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.

Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.

Cows: The shit you go through.

This post: Started off as a post that explained different governments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

Achievement Hunter: You have one cow and he gets put in a hole.

Captain America: You have two cows, one is brainwashed and the other falls out of plane. The first jumps out after him. Everyone cries a lot.

Hannibal Lecter: Doesn't have any cows, but somehow still has hamburger

Will Graham: Rescues 2 cows and 5 more dogs. He now has 13 dogs and 2 cows living on his property. This is his design

Dean Winchester: Sold his soul for 2 cows. He is now in Hell.

Sam Winchester: Just wants to be a normal cow.

Castiel: Gripped 2 cows tight and pulled them from perdition.

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

I like clingy. I like when someone purposely grabs my hand to show other people I’m theirs. I like that when something exciting happens during the day, I’m the first person you want to tell. I like coming back to an “I miss you” text message when I’m in class or taking a nap. I like that random call at one in the morning just because you wanted to hear my voice. I little gestures that show I’m important, and you enjoy having me in your life.

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

whenever i use scissors i always have this brief thought of “ohoho man imagine if i accidentally snipped off my nipple”

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

do some people actually pronounce pecan as pee-can..oh my god

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

A Message to All Boys:

Wearing eyeliner doesn’t make you “girly” or “gay” a lot of girls actually find it attractive. If you wanna put concealer on that pimple go ahead. It doesn’t make you less of a man. Makeup is not intrinsically feminine. Don’t let society’s screwed up gender roles stop you from expressing yourself.

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

Reblog if you've actually SEEN the movie "The Aristocats"

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

im fucking crying my therapist has these little mamushka dolls in her office and the first one is so pretty like

and then it just goes downhill from there

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

A small post of Sven Nordqvist’s wonderful art.

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

mother nature: so what kind of weather do you-

northeast: just fuck me up

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

Baby goats freaking out when they can’t see their owner.

[oneofhagridsmonsters]

[oneofhagridsmonsters]