ososimilar

[ososimilar]

Chapter 10- Sam

Sam's mind was racing. What the fuck are they doing up there. He didn't have to rub his newfound relationship in my face like that. But it's fine. It's not like I like him. It's just temporary, in a week or two I’ll be over it.

He plopped down on the couch and layed down, staring at the ceiling. He laid there for a few minutes until he heard the rattling of the doorknob.

“Hey.” Sam heard Sebastian's husky soft voice from the doorway.

Sam didn’t look at him and continued looking at the ceiling. “Can I go now?”

”Oh.” There was a tinge of hurt in Seb’s voice that Sam enjoyed hearing. “I figured you would want to play a game.” He could feel the heat from Sebs gaze. “But you can go home if you want.”

San was comfortable laying there for a while longer. “What game?”

”I was thinking maybe...” He hesitated, stammering through his words. “… Junimo Kart would be fun. I wanna get good enough to beat Abby.”

Sam tensed. “Fine, but only because I’m comfy on the couch. You set it up.”

He layed there for a minute and listened to Seb setting up the game. His legs were picked up, held there, then placed back down into Sebs lap.

“Here.” Sam looked up and took the controller from Sebs hand.

The controller was wet. Sweaty. He turned to look at the Tv, ready to focus on the game.

____

They played a few rounds and Sam won every time, but in the end Seb was solidly second place.

“Your’e getting better at this bro. I dont think vincent could beat you anymore.” Sam said through a yawn then gave a soft chuckle.

“I don't know. Vincent can be pretty ruthless.” Seb playfully responded.

“What? You scared of kids?”

“Only the scary ones.”

“My brother’s scary?”

“Well only because he's YOUR brother.”

“What's that supposed to mean? Am I scary? Do I make him scary?” Sam was a little hurt by this. Was this meant to be an attack on him?

“I don't mean it like that, I mean kids are scary when you need them to like you.” He paused to think and Sam watched him lean back into the couch. “And when they have a cool older brother like you they’re harder to impress.” His voice was calm, but there was a touch of frustration.

“Why do you need to impress him? He's just a kid.”

”Because he’s YOUR brother.” He pleaded. “…and kids are mean. UNLESS they like you.”

“You don't need to impress Vincent, he already likes you.” Sam put his hand on Seb’s shoulder and squeezed; Just how his father used to comfort him.

Seb took a deep breath. “Thanks bro.” They sat in silence for a while. “Do you want kids someday?”

Sam was not prepared for this question. “Someday. I think. In the future. When I’m married. Then I’ll have kids. For sure. In the future.”

“I think you’d make a good dad. Just judging on how you are with Vincent.”

“Yeah…” Sams voice trailed off as he thought about having a kid someday. Could I ever do that with Seb? We couldnt have a kid.

Seb let out a yawn. “Its late, I should probably head to bed soon.” He stood up and walked to the closet, tossing a blanket at Sam. “You can sleep there or you can go home, its up to you.”

I shouldnt stay the night. I’m trying to move past these feelings. Staying would only make it worse. “Its fine I’ll go. I have stuff to do in the morning.” Sam put the blanket on the couch, gathered his stuff and walked out the door.

CHAPTER 11- SEB

Sebs stomach rumbled. “God im hungry.” He looked up at the ceiling from his desk then at the time, it was almost dinner and he’d been working all day. He got up, got dinner, then went back to work, and repeated the same thing the next day.

[ososimilar]

CHAPTER 8- SAM

Sam pushed open the door to Emilys house and was swiftly greeted by a glare from Emilys sister Hailey.

“Hey, I'm just here to see Emily.” Sam said as he walked toward Emilys room.

“Everyone’s always here to see emily.” Hailey muttered under her breath as Sam approached Emilys room.

The door was already open and Emily was hunched over some fabric spread across the floor. “Hey.” Sam called out as he entered the room.

“You're back already? Just a sec.” She turned around and it was clear Sam is not who she thought had just came in. “Oh, funny you two come at the same time.” Emily got up and walked over to the drawer and pulled out a white quartz pendant. “Sebastian walked in just as I was finishing it so I had to stash it away.” She handed Sam the pendant. He observed it, taking in the craftsmanship and the beauty of the crystal.

“Thanks Emily.” he pulled the pendant close and hugged it. He hugged Emily too. How could he not? She did such a good job he wished he could pay Emily with something nice. But Sam didn't have a job, and his parents didn't have much money. “I know its not much of a payment but once its spring time I’ll go fishing with uncle Willy and give you some fish.” He looked at her hoping she’d agree to that deal. There was no way she was getting him to let go of that pendant.

“Well I guess that works.” She smiles at him then adds. “Though it'd be nice if you could get your mom to grow some flowers and give some to me.”

“I will definitely talk to her about that. Thank you so much Emily. You don't know how much this means to me.” He turned to leave the stopped and turned back. “Oh and thanks for being so chill about all this.”

“No problem, I'm glad I can help. If you ever need someone to help you figure things out I'm here.”

“Yeah thanks.” He leaves and walks out the house, passing hailey on the way and making sure he doesn't disturb her. “Figure things out?” What does that mean? Does she think im gay? There had been rumors about Emily being a lesbian a few years ago, but then she ended up dating some guy for about a year before they broke up. He walked to his house next door, muttering to himself. “D&D tonight, it's the end of the campaign. I have to go all out. Sebs Birthday is in two days. I already have a gift. I should do something else too.” He entered his room and began preparing his costume.

He pulled the shoddily cut and taped cardboard armor from his closet and put it on. Looking in the mirror he smiled to himself. Then he pulled an old fishing rod he modified with a can of joja cola and some cardboard out from under his bed. He swung the sword around a bit before posing with it in front of the mirror. Perfect! He put on his snow boots before setting out to Sebastian's house.

[ososimilar]

Chapter 7- Sam 

“So youre saying if I’m writing a song I should write the instrumental first?” Sam asked, leaning over the railing of the bridge. He was staring into the water, watching driftwood float by. 

“Well there's no specific way to write a song, it just depends on you.” Penny leaned over the railing, mirroring Sam. “If you want to write the lyrics first you can. If you've already written them you should just use those.”

He turned his head to look at her and their eyes met. They did this most Saturdays, came and stood on this bridge and talked. Sam used to have a crush on Penny when they were kids but he grew out of it by the time they were old enough to actually date.

“I already wrote a song… or half of a song.” He couldn’t help but notice how beautiful her eyes were. “I was actually hoping you could tell me what you think?” He scratched the back of his head nervously.

“I’d love to, Sam.”  She waited as Sam fumbled around pulling a notepad out of his pocket and handing it to her. “It's probably not any good but maybe you can make it better.” He chuckled nervously as she looked at the notepad. He watched her read, taking in the words. It only took a minute or two to read, but to Sam it felt like 10. As she looked up from the notepad she was met by Sam's eager eyes, desperate for her to say something about it. “Ahhh… its… ahh… different from what I expected from you.” When she saw Sam's’ reaction she pivoted. “It's a good different, a more mature tone.” She handed the notepad back. “So who's this boy in the song?”

Sam's face flushed and he clutched the notepad, hiding it from her. “Well.. its… its… uhhh…. Hes…. its a metaphor.” Sam sputtered trying to think of what to say. I can tell Penny can't I? She wouldn’t  care. But no one needs to know. Besides I’m not gay. 

Sam could tell from Penny’s reaction that she didn't like that answer. “I… okay, you don't have to tell me.” She said dejectedly.  

“Its umm… the songs are about Seb but…” he paused to think and quickly added, “but it's nothing romantic. I just think he's a good friend and want to spend more time with him is all.”

Penny Sighed in relief. Could she really believe that?

“Oh, I’m glad you have such good friends Sam.” She put her hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you, we've known each other for years and nothing could change my perception of you.” She stood there for a while, looking up at Sam and getting lost in his smile. Eventually Penny seemed to come to her senses and said, “I have to go work on some lesson plans.” Her voice wavered like she made that up on the spot, but Sam believed it. So she walked away leaving Sam alone on the bridge. 

Why is she acting so weird? OOH, Emily should have finished my gift for Seb by now! He skipped with glee toward Emily's house. He looked down the other street and saw what appeared to be Seb, walking toward Pierres. Is he going to see Abby? In that moment all the joy left Sam’s body and was replaced by dread. 

He wasn't thinking straight. Took off toward Sebastian. Before He caught up to Seb. Sam grabbed him by the shoulder. He couldn't process what he'd just done. Unable to process his actions he stood face to face with Sebastian. 

Shit, you can't just say nothing, say something. Anything. 

“Hey Seb…” he said in a long drawn out fashion stretching his words to pad for time. “I saw you in the distance and thought I'd come say Hi.” He took his hand off Sebs shoulder and put it behind his head like he always did when he was nervous. “So where are you headed?” Hed come over in such a rush he failed to notice the bag Sebastian had in his hand. 

“I was just headed home.” Seb said, still stunned from the confrontation. 

“Oh, cool.” Sam chuckled nervously. “So whats in the bag?” he got onto his tiptoes to try and get a better angle on whatever was in the bag but still couldnt make it out. 

“Oh um… its just some stuff I got from Emily. You'll probably see later.” Seb pulled the bag toward him, hiding the contents from Sam

“Later?” Sam had to stop and think for a second. “Yes! D&D later! Our campaign comes to an end!” Sam was easily distracted and his worry about Seb and Abby had lessened. 

“Yeah… I have a couple things planned and I’m just preparing.” They stood there for a second, looking each other in the eyes. “Well I should get home.”

With that, Sam was once again left alone. He could hardly remember what he had to do. Eventually he remembered he'd been on his way to see Emily. 

[ososimilar]

WINTERSTAR LOVERS

CHAPTER 6- SEBASTIAN

He walked around the corner, far enough away that he figured Alex wouldnt find him and fell to the ground crying. Alex’s words echoed in his mind. “I was beginning to think you were a homo or something.” Those words played on loop his head. Is it that obvious? He knows he looks stupid, he knows it's embarrassing to sit there in the snow crying. He knows he has no explanation for this if somewhere were to stumble upon him. Pull yourself together. He willed himself to stop crying. After a few minutes he was able to compose himself enough to get up. He was still sniffling but he figured he could blame it on the cold.

He stood up, straightened his jacket and began his walk home. He kept rubbing his eyes, trying to hide the fact he was crying 5 minutes ago. I hope Robins is not working right now, I don't need her seeing me like this. He got to the door of his house, took a deep breath, twisted the doorknob and went inside. He closed the door, and as quiet as possible he dashed around the corner and down the stairs into his room. He threw open the door, took off his jacket and collapsed onto the bed. He put his face in his pillow as his sobbing continued. He hated himself for only being able to stop it for the short trip home.

He hated himself for not being stronger. Not being able to stand up to Alex. He hated himself for being gay. Should I have said something to Alex? Should I say something to Sam? Should I have even been born in the first place? That comment from Alex had sent Sebastian into a complete downward spiral. Seb felt like he could never face the world again. He felt like rotting away in his room. So he laid there, crying. Until he couldn't cry anymore.

He had no idea how much time had passed. From his position in bed he heard a chime come from his computer. He didn't want to move, all he wanted was to lay there forever. But then there was a second, and third message chime. “Ugh.” He groaned and got up to look at the messages. They were from Abby.

The first message was in a private chat with just the two of them: “Hey, are you doing okay?” The other two messages were in their group chat for D&D. From Abby: “hey we still on for tonight?” Sam responded: “Hell yeah! I’ve been waiting for this finale! You better not let us down Seb.”

He clicked on the chat with Abby and tried to think of how to respond. Should I ask her what happened last night? Should I ask her what Alex was talking about? Maybe I should have her come early so I can meet with her. But if people knew that would send the wrong message. “Ugh!”

He typed out his message, being careful of his word choice: “What exactly happened last night? I had a weird conversation with Alex today.” He read that message over a few times before hitting send. His eyes wandered to the group chat. He didn't feel like responding. Sam seems excited, if I don't respond he’ll probably just show up anyways. He stared at his keyboard, trying to think of what to say. He couldn't form the words, couldn't think of a way out of this.

His eyes wandered to his mess of a bedroom. If they're gonna show up I guess I could clean a little bit. He got up, made his bed and tried his best to hide any evidence that he wasn't currently in the best headspace. He took out the trash, picked up all the laundry from his floor, and shoved it under his bed. Trying to give the room a semblance of cleanliness. He then grabbed all the dishes from his room and brought them to the kitchen. When he came back he stood in the doorway and scanned his room for anything he should clean. He saw a pack of cigarettes sitting on his desk. His body ached for a cigarette then he thought of Sam. The thought of Sam almost cured him of his withdrawal. Sam doesn’t like me anyways. Quitting is stupid when it wont have any effect. He argued with himself. Eventually he picked up the pack and threw it in a drawer where neither he, nor Sam would see it.

He stood and went back to looking at the room and once it passed a visual inspection he took a deep breath. This deep breath however, was a bad idea. As he breathed in he was hit with the smell of his room. His room reeked of depression. The room smelled stale, like the air there hadn’t moved in ages. Now this scent, this air, was suffocating to Seb. How do I fix the smell? A candle? Where do I even get a candle from? He knew his mom had candles somewhere in the house, but he figured the scent would just remind him of her. Which is not what he wanted.

He didn't know where to get a candle but he knew one thing; he couldn't stay here after noticing it, and he couldn’t let his friends notice it either. He grabbed his coat and wallet then headed out the door. He walked into town with his hands in his pockets, not wanting to see anyone. I could go to Pierre's place, but then I’d run into Abby. But maybe that's a good thing? But there may be other people there. At the end of the day he didn't have much of a choice as Pierres was the only store in town. He walked in and made a quick pass of all the shelves but he didn't see any candles. He went to look again when Pierre called out.

“Can I help you find something Sebastian?”

“Umm…” His voice got caught in his throat, maybe going out wasn't the best idea. “I’m… um… looking for scented candles.” He looked down at his feet, avoiding eye contact with Abbigails father.

“I dont sell scented candles, all the candles I have are unscented. But I know my wife has some. I think she bought them from Emily, I'd go check with her.” Pierre was awfully kind to Sebastian. Even though Sebastian knew Pierre Thought he was a bad influence on his daughter.

“I… Thank you.” He nodded to Pierre and turned to the door.

“So, I hear there's a chance you become my new son in law.” He said, his voice was incredulous. “You better treat my daughter well.”

“I will sir.” He didn't look back and left the door. It seemed like every time he left his house there was someone waiting to bombard him with questions. The worst part of it all was he still had no idea why people thought all of this. He walked toward Emily's house, looking at nothing but the path in front of him. In his mind if he didn't see them then they didn't see him.

He entered Emily's house and walked to her room. “Hey,” he said in a nervous voice as he knocked on the door.

”Come in!” She called from the other side, he opened the door and looked at her meekly. When she saw him she did a double take then swiftly put whatever was in her hand in the drawer. “You are not the visitor I was expecting.” She gave him a warm smile.

“Y-yeah.” he hesitated, avoiding eye contact with Emily, looking around the room instead. “Pierre told me you had scented candles I could buy.”

“Well he sent you to the right place, what kinda scent are you looking for? OOH! Even better, what kind of energy are you trying to bring with this candle?” She looked at him, her large eyes full of curiosity.

“Umm… I… uhh…” he looked at her trying to tell her he didn't know. “I just wanted my room to smell good .”

“Okay, is there an issue with the smell? What kind of smell do you want?” She walked over to a shelf and started listing off the scents. “I have pine, sea spray, lavender, cinnamon, vanilla, rosemary, peppermint, sage…” She listed a few more but Sebastian was already lost. She turned and looked at him. She saw his confusion and gave some suggestions. “I think if you want a natural smell, pine or sea spray, but if you want an herbal scent I’d say, sage, lavender, or vanilla.” He still didn't get it so she continued. “Sage is good for cleansing, lavender will help you sleep and help calm you, and vanilla is for attraction.”

Sebastian's face flushed as he heard the comment about vanilla. Emily must be very observant because she grabbed the vanilla candle and brought it to him.

“Smell this one.” She held it out at face level for him to sniff and he took in the sweet aroma.

“This one smells good. But… Love’s not really what I wanted it for.”

She looks at him unconvinced, but she's not one to argue.

“I'm having a group thing with Sam and Abigail so, it's a group thing. Not really the setting for love.” He gave a nervous chuckle hoping she’d drop it.

“Then try this one.” She brought him one with an earthy smell he couldn't place.

“Its sage, good for cleansing negative energy.” She handed it to him practically forcing him to take it from her.

“I guess ill take this one. H- how much do I owe you.” He set down the candle and fumbled with his wallet.

“20 dollars.”

He pulled out 20 dollars, handed it to Emily then put his wallet away. “T-thanks.” He picked up his candle.

“Wait.” Emily stopped him and brought him the vanilla candle. “Take this one too, it's on the house, I'm sure you'll need it.” She winked at him causing him to blush. He took the candle in his free hand before leaving. He felt better after talking to someone who wasn't digging for relationship gossip. But that comfort was short lived. As he left Emily's house he saw in the distance, Sam and Penny chatting on the bridge. Sebastian's heart dropped.

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Chapter 4- Sam

AUTHORS NOTE: I cant figure out how to put italics on tumblr so if you want proper format go to AO3

He let me win, why? Sam stood there dumbfounded. Maybe I should just drop it. He tried to shake it off and think about something else. BUT WHY! His thoughts were racing eating away at him. After standing there looking stupid for an embarrassing amount of time Sam began cleaning up. He set up the table, and the pool cues away. Then he put his can of joja cola in the recycling. Before rounding up the 3, 4, 5 empty glasses Seb had drank.

He brought the glasses to the counter, setting them all down with a thud. “Here Gus.” He said as he sat down.

“Thanks bud.” Gus looked at Sam with a warm smile. “Say, Sebastian and Abigail rushed out of here quickly. They grow up so fast. But y'all are about the age to be getting up to stuff like that.” He looked at Sam. “Just be careful.”

“Oh.” Sam hadn’t thought of that. “I will. Its late so I should head home.” He waved goodbye and turned to leave, nodding to Willy and Clint who were sitting at the table by the door. As he pushed open the door he felt a blast of cold wind hit his body. He stepped outside into the moonlit snowy street. What'd he mean by “getting up to stuff like that?” What are they doing? What's happening? Should I go check it out? He turned around and looked in the direction of Sebs place. No, no, he was mad when I worried this morning I should just leave him alone. He turned back and walked home. Gazing up at the stars and looking at the snow covered bushes near the path.

He stopped in front of his house. The lights are still on. If I go inside mom will ask me how things went. He stood there contemplating his next move. Should I sneak through the window? Maybe this is a sign I should go investigate what Seb and Abby are doing. But I trust Abby. He scolded himself for not trusting his friends. Then he spun himself around and trudged off in the other direction. I want to hear the ocean. He trudged down the beach, reaching the point where the snow turned to sand. He took a breath and stepped into the sand. Then walked onto the dock.

He sank into the bench next to Willys boat house. Gazing up at the stars. He began a rhythmic tapping on the bench with his left hand. He took a deep breath. Why do I feel this way? Why am I jealous? It's none of my business what Sebastian does. But why does he let me win? “Ugh, this is exhausting.” Sam let out an audible groan with his frustration.

“Then maybe you should get some sleep, kid.” It was Uncle Willys voice from around the corner. “What are you doing out so late? It's cold out here.” He walked closer to Sam and gestured to the empty spot where Sam had been tapping. “Can I sit here?”

Sam moved his hand and watched Willy sit next to him.

“You know,” he looked at Sam. “Yer pops and I used to sit here and fish every morning when we were yer age. I know it's hard, him being away and all. And yer pals movin’ along without you.” He put his hand on Sam's shoulder. “Yer dad used to sit here, yapping away about this girl he liked. Name was Jodi.” He chucked. “He thought I was trying to date her since our parents were close. But whenever we were together she’d just ask ‘bout him.” He sighed and looked at Sam. “‘ventually he signed up for the military. Jodi was heartbroken and confessed to him. They got hitched and moved away to a military base somewhere, where you were born.” He looked at Sam trying to gauge if Sam understood his point. “Look all’m tryna say is that ya shouldn’t wait till she makes a move, ya gotta do it yourself.” He looked at Sam, hoping for conformation.

Sam nodded. “I understand. Thanks Uncle Willy.” Does he think I like Abby? Is that why I’m jealous? No, I've never thought of babies that way.

“Well, don't stay out too late pal. Im gonna hit the sack.” He stood up, patted Sam on the back, and walked toward the door. “Goodnight.” He walked inside and closed the door.

Sam sat there in silence. Listening to the waves, and the wind. Taking in the sounds, and the moonlight reflecting off the ocean. Someone could write a song about this. He resumed rapping his fingers on the bench. Just describe the environment, the story. He reminded himself of the advice Penny had given him when he asked for advice on songwriting.

In the silence I can hear the waves

But they are drowned out by my thoughts of you

The waves reflect light, from the moon and the stars,

Though they're not the brightest thing in the night

My thoughts of you, the Image in my head

Of the boy that I want in my bed

You were there the other day and we laughed about

The size of my bed and the the stupid action movie I put on

Sam tapped away, as he thought of these lyrics. It wasn't the type of music he thought he'd wanted to write, it was… what did Penny call this type of song? Free poetry? Free verse! That's it. He continued.

My uncle told me to confess

But I can't even confess it to myself

I should tell my father, in the church on sunday

The boy that took over my thoughts, turned my brain to a warzone

Hey there, boy in my head

He's real I think

My childhood friend

Not the one I thought it'd be

The boy

Who opened up to me

He stopped tapping. Do I like Sebastian? Is that why I'm jealous? But I used to have a crush on Emily, I can't be gay. He shivered and stood up, running home to write down the lyrics he'd just come up with

[ososimilar]

Chapter 3- Seb

The fucks his problem? Seb fell back into his gamer chair, wheels sliding back until he hit the wall. Why would he just walk in like that? He was extremely flustered. Since I'm dressed now I guess I'll get breakfast. He got back up and walked upstairs, knowing he wouldn't be able to focus on work after that whole ordeal. Walking into the kitchen he opened the fridge, contemplating grabbing a beer before deciding it'd be best not to. Instead he opened the cupboard, grabbed two pieces of bread and threw them in the toaster.

He waited, leaning against the counter. Why would he do that? Does he know? No! He shook his head. There's no way. Unless…. Does he feel the same way? Seb pushed that thought to the back of his head. Just because I didn't feel good for one night he had to go and blow it out of proportion. The toaster ring brought him back to reality. He grabbed his toast, put some strawberry jam on it and walked toward his room. He was so deep in thought he barely noticed his mom trying to talk to him.

“Sebastian.”

“Oh, hey Rob- Mom.” He caught himself. She didn't like it when he called her Robin.

“Sam wasn't here long. Just rushed past me, didn't stop to make conversation or anything.” She said, “I hear you haven't been feeling good recently.” her voice wasn’t prying but concerned.

“I'm fine.” Seb took a bite of his toast; the crunch enveloped the silent room. He went to say more, then stopped and turned around. “I'll see you later mom.” He walked back to his room, sat at his computer and took a deep breath. I just have to finish this. I can do it.

He worked, thoughts often drifting to Sam, before he would scold himself and focus again on his work.

After a few hours had passed he looked at the clock. It's almost 6. Sam and Abby will be at the stardrop soon. He took a deep breath, preparing himself to go. He showered, then looked at his hair in the mirror. Double and triple checking that it looked good. As he walked out the door he stopped, and went back inside to his parents room. Maybe I should ask. No. That'd be embarrassing. He knocked, and after a few seconds passed with no response he went inside. He walked to the closet and grabbed some of his stepfather Darius’ cologne. He was reading the label.

Dior Perfume

For men

Pine and _____

“Is there a reason you're trying to smell good?”

FUCK! Sebastian practically jumped out of his skin. He turned to see his stepfather in the door. He stood there, staring at Darius, perfume in hand.

“I wasn't trying to scare you.” He looked Sebastian up and down. “You can use that, it's fine.”

“T-thank you.” Seb said, still in shock from the scare.

He went to spray the cologne before Darius interrupted. “Do you know how to put that on?”

“Is there a wrong way to do it?” Seb snarled.

“You spray it once on your wrist, then rub your wrists together. Then do it once on the side of your neck. That's all you need, otherwise it'll be too strong.” Darius smiled at Seb.

“Thanks.” He relaxed a little before spraying the perfume like Darius instructed. After he quickly set down the cologne, he thanked Daruis again and rushed out. He was wearing a black knit sweater, with tan slacks. Which he paired with the blue and gray snow boots his mom had bought him when he was 15.

He walked to the Stardrop. Checking his breath and reflection. I don't know why I’m like this. I check my breath as if there's even the slightest chance I'll get that straight boy to kiss me. He arrived, opened the door and walked to the billiards table nonchalantly.

“Sup.” He gave an awkward dudebro nod in the direction of Abby and Sam as he arrived.

Abby giggled.

Fuck that was embarrassing. Who says sup? And Whyd I nod?

“Hey bro, it's great to see you! I take it you're feeling better.” Sam smiled at him. Sam's smile always had a way of making Seb feel less alone, like he wasn't a social outcast no one wanted to talk to. “You feel good enough to beat me today?” Sam's smile turned into a triumphant grin.

“We’ll see.”

“Youre saying that like there's no chance I win.” Abby chimed in.

“You’ve never won before,” Seb shot back.

Abby looked at him, doing a double take. “Maybe todays the day.”

Seb walked toward the pool cues and as he passed Abby she whispered in his ear. “You look awfully dressed up today.” She said it in a taunting voice. Seb froze.

Abby sniffed and continued, “oh and is that cologne?” She gave him a look he could tell was meant to be playful, but it was hard to take it that way.

Shit, has she caught on? No it's fine, just act like normal and laugh it off. Seb gave a halfhearted laugh. “No silly.” He grabbed his pool cue and walked to the table. Abby followed suit then so did Sam.

“Who's gonna break it today?” Sam addressed the group.

They all stood there in silence, no one wanting to volunteer.

“Not me,” Abby said. “I'm terrible at it.”

“That's true.” Seb added.

“How bout I teach you how?” Sam said, looking at Abby.

“I guess that's fine.” Abby lined up the shot then Sam waved his hand to stop her.

“Let me help you.” Sam positioned himself behind Abby, wrapping his arms around her and grabbing her hands to guide her. Abby tensed up and Seb looked away. With a lump in his throat he said, “Imma get a beer.” And walked away avoiding looking at them. As he walked away he heard the clacking of balls.

“Can I get a beer please.” Seb said as he approached the counter.

“Sure thing buddy.” Gus said.

Seb looked back toward the two playing pool. He leaned against the table and watched as Sam lined up his shot.

Thump. Gus set the beer on the counter next to Seb.

“Thanks,'' Seb said as he picked the beer up and walked back, not even bothering to look at Gus. He walked back toward them, chugging the beer as he went. Drinking the entire thing then slamming it against the edge of the pool table. “I take it, it's my turn.” Seb said, with the added confidence of one beer under his belt. He picked up his pool cue and made his first shot. As they played and the alcohol set in Seb loosened up.

By the end of the game seb had drunk one too many beers. They were tied three ways. It was all up to whoever made this last shot, and it was Sebs turn. He drunkenly lined up his shot as the other two watched, but his hands were shaking. He took a deep breath then felt someone come behind him, grabbing his hands to stabilize them.

“Need some help bro?” Sam said.

Seb could feel Sam's body on his, and it felt incredible. “Thanks.” Seb stammered. Sam helped Seb as he sunk the final shot.

“YOU WON!!” Sam cheered.

But Seb was still in shock from the feeling of Sam's body on his. Suddenly Seb realized that he couldn't back away from the table or else he'd be very embarrassed.

Abby joined in on the cheering before Seb drunkenly said. “Of course I won, I've always been better at pool than you.” His words were a tad slurred but they could still understand him.

“What?” Sam laughed. “You're funny bro.”

“No, I'm serious. I only let you win because…” A wave of nausea hit Seb and he doubled over like he was about to vomit.

“You've had too much to drink, you should probably head home.” Abby came to his rescue.

“Oh I'll walk him.” Sam said.

“No, I got it.” Abby snapped. “Let's get you home pal.” She grabbed his shoulder and helped him to his feet. Leading him outside while he looked at Sam, ashamed.

They were now outside and Abby was leading Seb home. “But, Sam.” Sebastian said.

“What about Sam huh?” Abby prodded him.

“I… He is so cute the way worries about me, and how he plays and his banter.” His words were slurred but he looked at Abby, eyes pleading for someone, anyone to understand him. Suddenly a second wave of nausea hit him and he doubled over and vomited. “shit,” he looked down. Abby got him back up. “Abby.” Seb stopped and looked up at her. “I’m gay.” He looked at her, waiting for the shock to set it. He didn't expect rejection but in his head he knew it was possible. He didn't know any other gay people in pelican town. As far as he knew he was the only one.

Abby raised her eyebrows. “Wow, shocker.” She said with dry sarcasm.

He looked at her and began tearing up. “I don't know what to do.” His tears turned to sobs. “Is that all you have to say?”

“Man you're a mess.” she looked at him. “And I don't care if you're gay, it's pretty obvious to anyone you guys like each other.” He hated the way she said it as if it's not a big deal.

“It is?” Seb said, trying to hold back his sobs.

“Dude, the way you reacted when he put his arms around me.” Then she muttered under her breath, ”Though that did shock me too.” She gave him a look of sympathy. “What are you gonna do about it?”

“I dont know!” Seb cried.

“Well you're gonna have to figure it out. Sams not the brightest but he’ll understand.”

“Should I tell him?” He looked up at Abby, pleading for an answer.

“I don't know man, it's up to you.” That was not the reply he wanted to hear. “It's probably best if you do. I think you'd make a cute couple.”

“Ugh, I just wanna kiss his stupid face.” Seb whined.

They walked home in silence. Seb felt a weight lifted from his shoulders. Finally, he was able to share his feelings with someone other than himself.

[ososimilar]

Winter Star Lovers

Go to chapter 1

Chapter 2- Sam

“Hey Maru.”

“Sam, come look at this,” Maru steps away from the telescope and watches as Sam gets into position to look through the telescope. “So Sebastian's sick? That's terrible.”

A monotone “yeah” escaped Sam's lips while he bent down to look through the telescope. I hope he's okay. Was I overstepping when I asked him to stay? Sam looked at the stars before backing away. “That's really cool Maru, thanks.” Sam smiled while making eye contact with Maru.

Sam began walking away but after a few steps he stopped and turned back to Maru. “Sebs birthday is soon. I wanted to do something special for him this year. Any idea what I should get him?” He turned to Maru, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Umm…. Hes always looking at the quartz Dad brings back for me to use. He also really likes those frozen tears Abigail gets from the mines.” Maru always had this confidence when she spoke, even if she was unsure.

“Cool, thanks again Maru.” After learning this information they stood there in the awkwardness before he gave a nervous hand wave and walked away.

Quartz… Sam spent his walk home thinking about what he could do for Sebastian.

Quartz…

Quarts…

Quartz…

Sam lies awake in bed thinking of what to get for sebastian. what can I do with quartz? Quartz is a rock. No. gem. Emily knows gems, ill ask her iin the morning.

Sam struggles to calm his thoughts at time like this, his thoughts on what to ask Emily and what to get for Seb, Eventually, he did manage to fall asleep.

—--

Sam woke up and looked at the clock. It was 10:14. I hope mom isn't mad I slept in. He dressed, showered and practiced his guitar like he usually would, but his mind was elsewhere, still on Sebastian, who hadn’t left his mind since tucked him in last night.

Sam began getting ready to go meet emily. How did my coat end up on the floor? I must have just tossed it there last night. He picked up his coat and left.

*knock knock*

Sam waited a minute. I think most people just walk in. That's impolite though. He opened the door then walked to Emily's room and knocked on the door. “”hey , uh, Emily. Its me Sam, I wanted to talk to you about something.” he sounds nervous, but he knows there's no reason to be nervous; he grew up with Emily.

“You can come in,” Emily said from the other side of the door.

Sam pushed the door open gently, “hi.” he said and gave a nervous little wave.

“Sorry my hands are busy,” Emily said, her sewing machine chugging away at the fabric in her hands. She's focused on the fabric, pushing it forward slowly. Sam watched until she finished the line she was working on. Once she was done she leaned back in her chair and looked at Sam. “What brings you here today? your energy says you're nervous.”

“I wanted to talk to you about rocks. No, quartz.”

“What about quartz?” Emily stood up and began walking slowly to the dresser on the back wall.

“Sebastian likes quartz and I wanted to see what you know. It's his birthday soon so…"Sam's voice trailed off.

Emily rifled through the top drop before pulling out a shard of quartz. “Quartz, was thought to be fossilized ice. It's used to bring balance in health. Both physical and mental. ”Emily pauses and looks up at Sam. “its even said that part of this balance is building romantic relationships. ” Emily winks at Sam after she says that last line.

Huh, why'd she wink? What does she mean by romantic relationships? “So would it be a good gift for Seb?” he looked at her, suspense building.

“Yes” she stares at him.

“Where can I get quartz?” Sam asks eager to move on.

“I can give you some. But how do you wanna give it to him?”

“What do you mean? Wrap it up like a present and give it to him on his birthday. ” He looked at her like she was stupid.

“I meant are you giving him a ring? A pendant? A bracelet? How are you giving him the quartz?” she looked at Sam, waiting for an answer as he thought.

A pendant is a necklace right? He imagined Sebastian on his birthday, wearing a quartz pendant. “A pendant.” Sam said with so much confidence he himself was shocked.

“Okay,” Emily said. She looked at him like he was a puppy asking for food. She put the quartz on the dresser and shut the drawer. “Ill put it on a pendant for you. Come back later and ill have it for you.” Emily’s voice was sweet; calm and caring like she knew what he needed more than he did.

“Thanks Emily. You're the best!” He turned around and left, a beaming smile on his face.

I should go check on him. He walked out of the house, past Hailey and out the door. As he stepped outside the world stopped, the sun seemed less bright, now competing with Sam's radiant smile for the role of lighting the earth. Sam practically skipped to Sebs house. When he arrived he opened the door like he had done hundreds of times before. As he rounded the corner he took the steps down to Sebs room two at a time. He grabbed the door know then stopped, and knocked on the door.

“Seb…” Sam called out softly. “Its me Sam.” He opened the door slowly and looked inside. Seb was already up and sitting at his computer. “Are you feeling better?” Sam asked as he entered the room, Looking toward Seb. I dont think hes noticed me. Sam walked toward the computer when suddenly he stopped, noticing that Seb was wearing nothing but his boxers. His face flushed, but he didnt know why, it's nothing he's never seen before. I should leave and knock louder. As he turned around Seb looked up. Dear Yoba. They looked at each other in shock for what seemed like an eternity. Sebs face turned red to match Sams.

“S-Sam,” Sebastian sputtered. “What are you doing here?” He scrambled to grab a shirt and some shorts.

“I wanted to check on you,” Sam looked down in embarrassment. “I thought maybe you were sick and needed company, or that I could do something for you.”

“I… I’m fine. It was just a headache, you're overreacting.” Seb said.

Sam couldn't tell whether or not Seb was mad. He sounded kinda mad? Is he mad? Is it because I barged in? Or is it because I'm worried? “I'm sorry I barged in on you.” Sam looked up at Sebastian, taking in his figure. They stood there in the silence staring at each other before Sam broke the silence.

“Well it seems like your fine and if you need anything at all please call me ill be here. Well not here but i can be here if you need me.” He was speaking fast, no breaths or breaks. “Oh and I hope to see you at the Saloon tonight so we can play pool.” Sam rushed out before Seb could even get a word in. practically sprinting past Robin, out the door and back home.

______

Authors Notes: thanks to “fire mountain gems encyclopedia” for the information on quartz. Also the tense changed from present to past between chapter one and two, thats my bad, itll be all past tense from now on.

[ososimilar]

Chapter 1- Seb

“So… which of us do you think would end up in jail first?” Abigail asked.

“Uhhhhhhhhh……” Sam said.

“Interesting question,” Sebastian said. “How does this help us write another song?”

“It's just a thought experiment.”

“Well you'd go to jail for trespassing,” Sebastian said. “Or….” He paused and thought. “If we were caught smoking that shit your mom grows.”

“Wait, you guys smoke?!” Sam said.

“Why'd you tell him that?” Abigail chided.

“You should join us some time.”

“I don't think he'd be into that Seb.”

“Well I'm not a baby.” Sam pouts.

“I dont think youre a baby Sam.”

“Three, two one!” Abby says half heartedly as she begins playing the drums.

They play together, Abby on drums, Sam on guitar and Seb on the keyboard. For Sebastian the keyboard is the only thing he has, he was never smart enough to gain Darius’ attention. So he lost himself in the keys, hoping to gain Robin's attention. When that didn't work he locked himself in his room closing himself off while he would work on his computer.

As he listened to Sam sing he couldn't help but smile to himself while thinking about the boy who managed to get him to leave his room. Abby too had done a lot for Seb, during her trips to the mines she’d gather frozen tears for him. They were always there for him when he was depressed. Robin tried to empathize but she didn't understand him. But these two didn't pry, they were simply there for him.

“WHOOOOO!!!”

Sam's shout pulled Sebastian out of his thoughts.

Abby cheered. “We’re getting pretty good!”

“Pretty good? Why not super good?! Or totally tubular?!” Sam chuckled at his own joke.

“Guys it's getting late and Vincent is going to bed, you guys can stay but you have to be quiet” Jody shouts from the other room.

“I guess that's my queue to leave,” Abby says as she stands up from her drumset.

“Awe, you guys dont wanna stay and hang out” sam mopes. “We can watch a movie, I heard of this cool one about a guy who goes to space.”

“Wow it sounds so interesting, '' Abby says in a mocking voice. You have to be super obvious with sarcasm around Sam or else he won't get it.

“Don't be rude,” Seb says. “I’ll watch it with you.” He looks at Sam then quickly looks away.

“Yes!”

Sams so cute when he celebrates Seb thinks. He looks at Abby.

“I'd rather not,” she says.

“Awe come one,” Sam whines.

“Seb will keep you company.”

Sam looks at Sebastian, “guess it's just us today.”

Seb looks at Abby, eyes pleading with her to stay. Abby pretends not to notice what's written all over his face as she walks out the door.

They stand there in silence for a moment until they start hearing Jodie and Abigail talking outside the door.

“Mom’s still up,” Sam says. “Wanna just watch on my bed so we don't have to bug her. To be honest she's been kinda uptight lately. I think it's because dad comes home soon.” He sits on his bed and begins clicking away on his laptop. “Oh sorry,'' Sam scoots over. “You can sit too.”

fuck ive just been standing here awkwardly Seb thinks. He goes and sits on the edge of the bed making sure to leave space between them. Just act normal, nothings changed, Sam probably hasn’t noticed anything yet. “I can't believe you still have a twin sized bed.” He laughs. “It can barely fit just one person how is it supposed to fit both of us?”

“Well… it's not like there's anyone I'm trying to share it with.” Sam says. “Wait, don't you also sleep on a twin sized bed?”

“Well yeah… but I'm the only person in my room ever. Besides, I've never been interested in sharing a bed before.”

“Twin sized mattress” Sam wonders aloud. “That'd be a good song title.” He sets the laptop near his feet and starts the movie. “Can you turn off the lights?” Sam looks at Seb when he says it.

Fuck, i cant focus when he looks at me. Why's he got to be so damn cute. He thinks while he stumbles to the lightswitch.

As he sits back on the bed the movies not even registering in his mind, his thoughts are solely on the space between him and sam. Sam is focused on the movie, making cute comments here and there about whatever is happening in the movie.

“Seb are you okay?” Sam asks, a tinge of worry in his voice. “You look super pale.”

“Oh, uh, I just have a bit of a headache is all.”

“You don't have to stay, you can go home and rest.”

“That… that's probably best.”

Sam pauses the movie and closes the computer. He gets up and grabs a jacket.

Sebatian looks at him confused. “I can't let you walk home sick by yourself, what if you fall or pass out or something”

Sam opens the door and Seb stumbles out. “Mom im gonna walk Sebastian home, he's not feeling good,” Sam shouts as they leave.

How did this end up happening? It's almost surreal, walking home in the moonlight with snow falling, Sam at his side walking past the steps to the old community center. As they enter the clearing their moment is interrupted by Maru, gazing at the stars through her telescope.

“Oh hey sam!” Maru exclaims. “Come look at this star cluster.”

“In a minute, Seb doesn't feel good so imma get him in bed then i'll come look, '' Sam shuffles inside with Seb. They walk down the stairs to Sebs room, a room that's normally cold but Seb can't help but feel Sam's warmth. Seb lays down in bed, Sam looks at him and tucks him in.

“I'd give you a kiss goodnight but that'd be weird wouldn't it” Sam chuckles nervously.

Seb just lays there, looking up at the boy of his dreams.

“Feel better” Sam says, before walking away. Seb can't help but feel like that's the last time he's ever gonna Sam the same way. As he dozes off he can't help but wish he dreams of Sam.

Chapter 2