perma-compulsive

[perma-compulsive]

ive had this on my mind for a bit and i think a lot of radqueers also feel this way

i want radqueers to become more widely accepted, but that wont happen unless we get wayyy more vocal. we wont make any progress unless we are loud.

but also its understandable why we stay so confined to tumblr, there are lots of possible consequences that can come with being open about being radqueer. judgement, losing friends, even possibly being harmed.

i also find comfort in how the community still feels relatively small. in a way it feels "secret" to me, like were having secret meetups behind a school or something. the thought of the radqueer community getting really big makes me nervous and i think a lot of us feel that way.

idk where im going with this tbh. basically i want radqueers to be more accepted but im also scared.

[perma-compulsive]

Go fake those disorders, go lie about your race, ethnicity, nationality! Go make up your backstory! Go have fun, lie about yourself if it makes you happy. You're not obligated to tell anyone anything, you're what you say you are and no one can change that (no matter how much they kick and whine about it)

[perma-compulsive]

kiwis are very radqueer but i cant explain why

[perma-compulsive]

"you don't owe anyone anything" You are a tar pit. Speak for yourself. I personally owe the cafe employees my dishes put away and my friends a listening ear and small scared insects a cup and a gentle trip outside. Hyperindividualism is a rancid infection borne of capitalism and willfully misinterpreted therapyspeak and I will defy it by continuing to be kind regardless of whether or not it benefits me personally

[perma-compulsive]

OUR MOM IS RADQUEER ?

[perma-compulsive]

Being casually useful to me is not enough. I want the thought of my dissatisfaction to make your heart sink. I want your first consideration in every decision to be whether or not I would approve. I want to drill into your mind the habit of choosing your words carefully, to my liking. You should always feel like you're walking on eggshells. Anything less is not enough.

[perma-compulsive]

Being told by someone I trust that they're raising my standards and treating me how I deserve, but with the added bonus that they are actually going to abuse me and make my entire mindset and self worth revolve around them and split headmates just for them and constantly seek their satisfaction and opinion

[perma-compulsive]

it feels like for a lot of people in the community programming is just like. hypno kink 2.0 — what i’m looking for is more than that. i’m looking for someone to break me completely. i’m wanting them to make our existing programming worse and giving them the freedom to do whatever they want to our mind. that’s what i’m looking for.

[perma-compulsive]

absolutely need to be in control of someone’s programs. knowing their triggers, names, knowing exactly what to do to them, to get certain reactions out of them to satisfy myself. triggering them to my liking, akin to a doll or machine.

[perma-compulsive]

im so transtradwife... i need to coin that if.it isnt real yet.....

[perma-compulsive]

🌷

how do you know im not already obsessed goober??

[perma-compulsive]

🌺

ooo who are you nonniieee

[perma-compulsive]

hes mot gna help?

[perma-compulsive]

i want a stalker sigh

[perma-compulsive]

its not you its how people act about it 🥀

being a lesbian with a boyfriend is NOT for the weak... shout out to other lesbians with boyfriends

[perma-compulsive]

being a lesbian with a boyfriend is NOT for the weak... shout out to other lesbians with boyfriends

[perma-compulsive]

fyi i do not “crush” i experience violent, all-consuming devotion and yearning that leaves me physically ill