pidgeapodge

[pidgeapodge]

the eeper

[pidgeapodge]

he's so silly! :3 (he kills for a living)

[pidgeapodge]

@shkika got me into cells at work, have a shitpost

[pidgeapodge]

So rude that you can’t say “okay, I’m done thinking about that” and then actually stop thinking about it

[pidgeapodge]

me double checking that the ask i’m sending isn’t going to contain my ip address and a photo of my own ass that i never took

[pidgeapodge]

i was at a coffee shop in some random town once waiting on my drink. i was the only person there until someone walked in and walked up to the register and they said something crazy like "don't fuck up my order this time, bitch" and i was sooooooo exhausted i stepped forward and i was just like [firm angry mom voice] "no. no. hey. you need to leave right now." and the barista and the customer both turned to me in abject shock and the barista started laughing and the customer looked horrified like they hadn't seen me when they came in and they said "i'm so sorry oh my god I work here. we're friends. i was just messing with them."

and i was like OH! that's a relief.

the barista was still laughing and they said "you were really about to fight for me. i love that." I said was in food service long enough that i'm always ready to fight a customer at any moment. i would have gone for blood. i would've used my teeth.

[pidgeapodge]

Hi, can you pray for Connie Francis (Pretty Little Baby) ? She just passed on and the victims of the church bombing in Gaza. So far, two are dead and others injured.

Of course 🖤

[pidgeapodge]

[pidgeapodge]

when you die, you walk into the cold unknown hand in hand with a girl you met once when you were five in a hotel pool and her hand is warm.

[pidgeapodge]

[pidgeapodge]

Damian is still a child guys

[pidgeapodge]

nature doc narrator just described a snake's failed hunt as 'leaving empty handed' and that just makes me laugh like dawg of all the metaphors. why that one.

[pidgeapodge]

Having haters doesn't make you special. Everyone's got haters. You forget to use your blinker in traffic just once, and the driver behind you is like "fuck that driver, I bet they never use the fucking blinkers ever, fucking dipshit", that's a hater. You're halfway to being born and your older sibling realises they're going to have to share all their shit, that's a hater. And if you don't have haters before you were born, you'll be in the hospital crying your first breath and someone else hears you in the hallway and thinks "oh fuck there's a fucking baby somewhere here." One minute old, did one thing, and already got one hater.

[pidgeapodge]

Describing the woman as bafflingly at peace with the simple enjoyment of her hobby, confused sources confirmed Monday that a local fucking weirdo was really good at something that she wasn’t trying to capitalize on. “She’s so good at this it could be a secondary source of income, and yet she seems to have absolutely no interest in monetizing her skill, so what’s the point?” area man Brandon O’Brien said after watching his total oddball neighbor craft yet another dazzling wood sculpture that she would either display in her home or give away for free, even though it could fetch her $1,000, easy.

Full Story

[pidgeapodge]

Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way way opened to it?

[pidgeapodge]

Friend group chats are fun. Today one of my friends, who keeps pet crayfish, found babies in a tank that was supposed to be a males only. No choice but to empty out the whole tank to fish out the babies of unknowable origins. But lo and behold, there was a culprit: one teeny tiny little female had somehow escaped containment, evidently specifically going out of her way to break into this all male tank to get railed by like 15 males twice her size. Possibly completely different breed, too. Monsterfucker supreme.

So for a good solid hour or so, the whole group chat was focused on. slutshaming this one specific little crustacean. With like 300 babies.