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Sounds hot

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but when will it be my turn to be strapped down on an examination table in the zoology wing of an alien spaceship like i'm an animal being experimented on and be forcefed a pleasure parasite by the master as he, fascinated, watches me succumb to the lust it induces in me.

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BDSM

Bondage

Dondage

Sondage

Mondage

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seeing strange fetishes im not into on my dash is like observing an edible herb on a walk. Hmm. someone wise ☝ could make use of this... but i shan't 👴

you paint such a beautiful picture with your words anon thank you

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You have my gun

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i've started reading tvl and no amount of posts telling me there's a "huge tonal shift" could have prepared me for this HUGE TONAL SHIFT this is the funniest fucking thing i've ever read it genuinely goes like:

louis, narrator of iwtv: as i wandered the streets of paris, i wished most of all for death. i had called to god, to satan, anyone, to find meaning in it all. but for an evil creature such as myself there is no place in this world. there can be no love where this evil lies. it was as though a veil separated me from all that could be good and righteous. i did not deserve to love and be loved in return, not by claudia, lestat, armand. to attempt it would be a sisyphean task, a fools tale. and yet...... the need for hole from armand was so great. greater was only the need for........ living human blood.

lestat, narrator of tvl: hey guys, my name is lestat, you may know me because i'm really hot and sexy. english isn't my first language so sorry if i make any mistakes!! okay here's my story: after rotting beneath the earth for decades, my hot and sexy body has finally risen from the ground. i used to be depressed, but now i'm slutting it up again in the 20th century! first thing i did was get some (hot and sexy) new clothes and then wore them while riding my (hot and sexy) motorcycle and listening to bach on my sony walkman. while i was watching this super niche indie film (you've probably not heard of it) "apocalypse now" i realized that i'm so evil that i shouldn't exist. but then i realized what could make me deserve to live on this planet: rock n roll music.

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yknow what i love about lotr is how DRAMATIC legolas is. he cannot do anything normally. does he just climb onto a horse like a normal person NO he grabs onto the underside of the horse’s neck and swings backwards and up and around to get on top of it. he’s always saying shit like “there is a specter of evil in the air…i feel it…” like you could just say man it’s cold in this room. he’s so abnormal. rip legolas you would’ve loved local theatre performances of shakespeare

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Tumblr is odd because you’ll see a mutual post something really profound like “the birds still sing for those who listen” and you see them 5 minutes later saying something like “need to be pegged.grilled cheese style”

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The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

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I just saw a gifset that split the word "beautiful" into 3 gifs and I think this one may be the new t hanos

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My sister and I worked out the perfect cast for Muppet Dracula

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i love the specification of "alive" in the people magazine "sexiest man alive" award. clearly they're worried about ötzi the iceman sweeping the competition. as they should be.

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thinking about when my coworker told me they were surprised to find out im not a lesbian and i was like out of curiosity why did you assume i was a lesbian and they were like well you love bruce springsteen

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it's such a sadness to me that kids eventually lose that 'no filter' thing when they grow up. my niece asked what 9/11 is and someone explained it to her and her unfiltered conclusion was "bro. is that it"