profoundlyhopefulmentality-blog - Tumblr blog

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Me in the future. But I am the zombie or the lady?

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Clearly.

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Same, princess, same

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No, I didn’t want to look at his butt.

“Butts.” - Tina Belcher.

As hilarious as it is, I don’t quite share the same sentiment as the awkward but physically intrigued Tina Belcher.

As a teenager I had a difficult time in relating to other girls my age, mainly because common topics and interests were absolutely unrelateable to me. Boys, boys, boys. Who was cute. Who was close to your age. How close. Did they live close? Their clothes? Hair?

It was worse when the topic changed to sex. Friends drawing penises with little captions reading “faves”. People they’ve had sex with. People they want to have sex with. What they want to do when they have sex with them. All of it made my chest freeze up inside and my body tense. Inevitabley someone would ask me my preferences. I had nothing to offer. I didn’t have crushes. I didn’t gush over boys. Or girls. I felt indifferent to the idea of wanting to have sex with someone. It’s awful to feel out of place as a teenager as many do. It’s terrible to not even share a basic desire and drive as your peers.

When I was fifteen, I was at Red Robin with my friend and her cousin. Our waiter looked a shocking amount like Chad Micheal Murrey. They would watch “A Cinderella Story,” frequently. Sure, he was attractive. Objectively attractive, as I used to say. Only because I had never felt a subjective attraction, so I always felt the need to slip that in otherwise I felt I was somehow admitting a shared attraction. Which I wasn’t. My friends kept giggling about how cute he was. How cute his butt was. They wouldn’t stop talking about it, as if all of a sudden that was the night’s main attraction. I did not see the point. I felt ashamed to be sitting with two girls who were openly dissecting this young man’s appearance as a two dementional character.

It felt wrong. It felt wrong to even think about looking his body over, an invasion of his personal space. “Just look at it really quickly,” the girls giggled falling into each other. They kept popping that question to me. “No,” I kept repeating. I didn’t want to talk about it and that was that. Towards the end of the meal they were tag teaming pressuring me into looking at his butt. My anxiety escalated as a silent scream in my mind. “No! I will not. I have told you no and no again. I WILL NOT,” I ended in the deep voice that takes over as my I feel my eyes practically about to burn a hole in them in response. Their smiles turned to flat as they realized they hit a nerve.

The mood shifted and they barely talked to me the rest of the time they were there. It took me a while to understand why I felt so cornered to their pressuring, besides the obvious. I couldn’t have agreed about his butt. Yes, he was nice looking. How could I admit I liked a body part on someone if I don’t know them? Why would I? It didn’t feel right. Not at all. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I couldn’t shift into that boy mode that my two friends lived in. Their lens of the world of bodies and desires were far different from mine.

I was troubled to feel left out over something I had no control over. I certainly couldn’t lie to them. I can’t pretend attraction like that. Instead I stood my sexually indifferent ground and started the path that would lead to a different kind of isolation in my life. I lacked the attraction that occurred to others naturally.

They didn’t mention it again. I didn’t seek their friendship out as often and neither did they.

“Generally, the first reaction is the correct one.” - Coming to America.

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----> Definitely me no. 5 especially

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Random Facts about INFJ Personality

Although people with INFJ personality type appear calm, they aren’t weak and cannot be told what to do. They will probably listen to your suggestions, then do what they intended initially

INFJ’S spend a lot of energy making others feel happy and comfortable only to find themselves stressed out and drained in the end

INFJ people will sometimes disregard logic and follow their intuition

INFJ’s are very observant; they are able to see things other people don’t even notice

INFJ men and women are prone to overthinking and often feeling mentally exhausted

Because the INFJ is the rarest personality type, people who belongs to this type often feel like outsiders - they don’t really fit in anywhere

An INFJ individual can confuse others by being amiable and introverted at the same time

The INFJ forgives easily even when treated poorly

The INFJ may act differently with different people - this doesn’t mean that they don’t have personality; it only means that they are highly rational adjusting to the individual needs of others they interact with

Despite the fact that INFJ people can’t take criticism, they are their own toughest critics The INFJ may open up to you and talk about their feelings only to apologize afterwards

INFJ’s can see others weaknesses, yet they don’t typically use them to their advantage

Unless the INFJ is comfortable with you, she or he may appear boring

Although INFJ’s understand other people’s feelings very well, they don’t spend much time sorting out their own emotions and still need your support

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I love short stories.

the mbti types as genres in literature

comedy: ESFP

horror: ESTP

romance novel: ISFJ

satire: ENTJ

thriller: ESTJ

fantasy: ENFP

classic: ESFJ

science fiction: ENTP 

historical: ISTJ

essay: ENFJ

poetry: INFP

dystopian: INTJ

short story: INFJ

fairy tale: ISFP

comic: ISTP

encyclopaedia: INTP

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Despite popular belief, Distance makes the heart grow colder. Nothing’s getting better, I’m just growing older.  How does it feel to hold onto love by a thread?  It feels like you’re waiting your whole life to take a breath. If I said anything, what would come of it? An avoidant lover for sure.  So why keep me in this empty place?  Our heartstrings have been inconveniently entangled.  So you laced us together with your sweet excuses, And I tied us into a knot with my withheld thoughts.

Distant Lover  (via infj-ish)

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INFJ and Emotions

INFJ: *cries over fictional character’s pain and suffering*

Also INFJ: *avoids feeling their own pain and suffering*

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Yeah.

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MBTI Types When They’re Not Thriving OR Surviving

Scl(any sort of stress/sadness)

INTJ: Super withdrawn, swings between gratification and wanting happiness, and unhealthy single-mindedness. Existential angst. Needs people’s support but rejects company. Bottles up issues and then it bursts out.

ENTJ: Prone to attack others, often over the very issues they’re insecure about. Becomes a workaholic and ignores feelings of deep dissatisfaction, or stops giving a crap about anything. 

INFJ: Despairs of all things, just can’t see The Point of it. Goes through days mechanically, without purpose. Resists all help, considering it to be probing. Can’t get anything done. 

ENFJ: Laughs a bit too loudly and smiles a bit too widely. Escapes to private places, but feels lost. Tells their problems to someone close to them, but doesn’t accept any advice.

INFP: Isolate, isolate isolate. Sees the negative in everything and can’t see others’ love/affection for them. Loses their ‘purpose’ and drive, can’t find meaning in anything. Idealizes what they can’t have. Perpetual self-pity-party. 

ENFP: Super excitable, overdoes everything. Cannot focus at all, and their own emotions/reactions are out of their control. Breaks down sobbing. Unwilling to actually move forward. 

ISFP: Mull around in their own feelings, hates the world around them, because it’s failed them. Spiraling moodiness, “what ifs,” “should’ve done this,” but no one will ever see that. They themselves won’t admit it.

ESFP: Unusually critical, closed-minded, and overly concerned with matters of appearance over substance. Terrible sense of logic, yet argumentative all the same. Delves into the physical world in order to escape their mental one. 

ISTJ: Scattered mind, unable to think coherently. Becomes judgmental and passive-aggressive. Super pessimistic, takes on a me vs. the world mentality.

ESTJ: Intensely prickly, will take offense at anything but prefers to strike first and strike hard. If you hit a nerve, they’ll cut you out of their lives (for the time being). Tries to act happy and in control, but actually really moody. 

ISFJ: Withdrawn, tries to please everyone but is really passive-aggressive about it. Takes on a martyr complex. Refuses help while throwing a pity party because “no one cares about them.” 

ESFJ: Seeks control of people and surroundings, bossy and irritable. Might manipulate others into feeling bad, too. Denies that they’re the problem. 

INTP: Makes a lot of jokes about how things aren’t okay, but aggressively resists anyone’s sincere attention. Turns flat and emotionless, takes compartmentalizing to an unhealthy extreme. 

ENTP: Scatterbrained, cannot focus. Swings between extremes of emotions, but makes a point to show a falsely sanguine face to people. Feels like they’re crumbling from the inside. 

ISTP: Compulsive and reckless. Has a “screw this” attitude and pushes away actual problems. May or may not confide in people, but too down to take any advice. 

ESTP: Use bravado and ‘self-confidence’ to mask their insecurities. Get a rush from attention, whether it’s positive or negative, and thus seek it out. Obsessive mentality, particularly concerning negative outcomes.