Broken, Scarred Orphans
Chapter 3: Scarred
This fic is inspired by the fic All The Young Dudes by: MsKingBean89 (on a03), Following the events of chapter 175: 1982. It's an AU where Remus went for custody in Sirius's absence and raises Harry as his own. This will follow the years before Hogwarts up through the seven books. (I haven't decided how much canon divergence I will have in the later chapters)
Chapter 1: Grief
Chapter 2: Begrudgingly Sober
CW: Recovering acholoic, previous child abuse
*
Remus's knit fell oddly over his boney shoulders. he attempted to straiten it for the thousandth time, stretching the neck this way and that to no real satifaction. Long hair dusted over his eyebrows, tangling through his lashes. It was fluffy from continuous wash now and he silently reprimanded himself for not cutting it before now.
The kettle nearly cannonballed through the wall with a flick of his fingers. Maybe two days before the full moon wasn't the ideal time he'd imagined it would be. It crashed onto the stove sending water dribbles over the walls and countertop.
Remus couldn't find it within himself to care too deeply. He paced around the flat skinning his bottom lip with his teeth. Dumbledore was never late, but neither early. He hadn鈥檛 so eagerly excepted Remus鈥檚 invitation as he had before. He waited an entire week to respond, but agreeing to come was good enough, for now.
Air filled his lungs in large gulps, a few choking him. Somewhere between then and becoming sober he'd begun cooking meals again and the smell of burnt ground turkey was pungent within the small flat.
Just as the fireplace began to elongate Remus threw himself down into a chair and attempted (and failed) to take on an air of casual disposition.
The Dumbledore stepped off the cobblestone landing, his hands clasped behind his back. Ever the stoic, his expression gives no sense of his emotional state, but Remus caught what he was looking for.
He鈥檇 been fantasizing about it in various degrees for days. It was subtle, of course, a pleasant eye sweep across the room. but it was enough. Dumbledore was pleased.
Despite himself, Remus鈥檚 chest warms. He could do this. "Tea?" He choked.
"With three sugars," Dumbledore said as he lowers into a seat at the dining table.
Remus prepared it by hand. His limbs still hadn't completely steadied from his sobriety journey. Sugar grain scattered over the counter congealing with the spilled water. It was a problem for future him.
Right now his worry lay with the fact that, despite weeks of practice, visualizing this conversation in all its variants, suddenly Remus couldn't taste any of his prepared words.
"Am I to assume that this meeting is in regard to our last chat Mr. Lupin?" Dumbledore asked as he took the steaming mug between wrinkly palms.
Good, Remus thought. Right to it. "Yes."
"Mr. Lupin, as I told you before Harry needs somewhere indiscriminate and-"
"Stable. That was the word you used. I will concede that a hidden home is likely safest for him. Though I don鈥檛 think a muggle home is best. With no source of protection, any wizard could find him with a simple tracking spell."
"You don鈥檛 think we鈥檝e taken the necessary precautions to ensure his anonymity?"
"No," Remus said flatly. "Because I found him in a matter of minutes."
This time there was no hiding the surprise on Dumbledore's face.
"I am not the strongest of us, nor am I the foulest," Remus continued. "Harry represents a very loaded past and future for the wizarding world. This flat has all the makings of a muggle home with all the protections of the order. If protection is your worry I would the deterrent of a werewolf would be beneficial."
"So you鈥檝e decided to register then?"
"No, not yet, but almost anyone who would want to cause Harry harm knows what I am. As the protocol son of Greyback, my reputation reached far within those circles. They will not come for him."
The silence that stretched between them was vast. Seconds turned to minutes. Remus held Dumbledore's eyes, refusing to be the first to look away. Finally, the old man sighed and stood.
"Thank you for the tea, Mr. Lupin." His knees knocked as he hobbled back into the fireplace without another word.
Remus鈥檚 jaw had previously felt sore from the weight of his proposal. Now it slacked from its empty resolve. He had it in him to shout after Dumbledore, to make him listen.
Once his thoughts were less scattered he began to write. Pages upon pages covered the table, some sensible fragments of rebuttal others crude warnings that Remus should just take the boy and disappear.
His bottom lip bled now and the insides of his fingers bruised from unused callouses. He fell asleep there awaking with an ink stain of expletives tattooed across his face.
With a renewed sense of defeat, he collects the mugs from last night and fed the letters into the fireplace. Halfway through the stack, the flames begin to flutter.
Remus stepped back just as a large boot came storming through the ashes. Black bush-like hair ducked beneath the mantle. Hagrid stood hunched, still grazing his head on the ceiling. Brown doe-like eyes peered down at Remus.
"Remus," he greeted in the same gruff voice from his childhood. Somehow the man had become taller since Remus's time at Hogwarts. Thicker too.
"Hargid," Remus retorted awkwardly. "What do I owe the er- pleasure."
Hagrid gave a sort of knowing laugh. "Only here to drop off Harry."
He presents a blanket bundle cornered in his elbow. Remus reels back like the child might combust.
"He won鈥檛 bite," Hagrid soothed.
Holy shit. He did it.
Remus looked at Harry first, unsure of the child. The last he'd seen him there wasn't that scar bursting across the better half of his face. Despite it, Remus recognized him.
His tuft of curls brought about by James, though it was considerably lighter thanks to Lily. That was mirrored similarly in his complexion. Mixing the fairness of his mother and tan of his father.
In Remus's opinion, that was where the resemblance ended. The scar that spanned his face pulled milky mountains across his skin etching down the bridge of his nose, making hairless valleys through his bushy eyebrows.
Just like Remus's scars.
That last time he'd held him it was a begrudging arrangment filled with apprehension. This time wasn't much different, but as Hagrid passed Harry into Remus's arms, he just stared.
聽Harry was asleep. No doubt from the help of a sleeping draught. He felt light for his age and thin, but Remus wondered if it was only his lack of experience with two-year-olds that made him think so.
"Oh," Hargid said, "I also brought this."
A white cardboard box fought at the corners to free from his coat pocket. He plunked it down on the counter and flipped open the lid.
It was a cake. Completely smooshed on one side. with red frosting and blue icing that spelled out "Rimus."
"Happy birthday!" Hagrid shouted.
Remus counted the days off in his head- was it? Sure enough. His lips broke into an unfamiliar sensation. A smile. The expression pulled his skin uncomfortably taut from unuse, but it was a good kind of sore.
"Cheers Hagrid. You should open a bakery," he jeered, half-jokingly as he recalled the other cakes he鈥檇 made over the years.
Hagrid looked away. beneath the mane, Remus could have sworn there was pink. "I quite like Hogwarts, but that's veryy kind of you to say Remus. Between you and I, I think little Harry鈥檒l be better off here. The Dursleys nearly threw him at me when I went to collect 'em."
He looked down at the bundle in my arms. Scrappy kid eh? Remus had experience with those.
"He鈥檒l be safe here," Remus assured both Hagrid and himself.
"Oh, I have Sirius鈥檚 bike," Hagrid added. "I know you two er- would you like it back, I suppose it would belong to you now anyhow?"
At the mention of his name Remus鈥檚 muscles tightened. He鈥檇 avoided the name even within his own thoughts, to hear it out loud was enough to pull the air from his lungs.
Hagrids logic was sound. It was the same string of thought that got him the child in his arms, but-
"No, keep it," Remus said, voice much meaner than intended. He apologized, but Hagrid waved it away taking a last look at Harry. He had a similar gleam of determination to Remus in his eye. It was comforting.
"Hagrid, you still live on the Hogwarts grounds don鈥檛 you?" Remus prodded.
Hagrid nodded gleefully. "Dumbledore鈥檚 got me set up in a proper place now. One where I can fit comfortably, not like that ordinary room from before."
"Good," Remus said, "I鈥檒l need someone to make sure the little git stays out of trouble when he鈥檚 at Hogwarts." Hagrid took the words in like a sworn oath. Like a law had been set for him to enforce. "You can count on it, Remus. You and Dumbledore both."
Hagrid left soon after ducking low into the fireplace. Remus was left alone with Harry for the first time.
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