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and in the next fifty years, you will ache and you will glow. you will fall in love with people who don’t stay and still carry their names like pressed flowers in the folds of your memory. you will eat meals alone and meals with people who make you laugh so hard you forget the sting of silence. there will be mornings you can’t get out of bed and nights where you walk home humming under a sky so wide it forgives you. you’ll cry in public and smile at strangers and sometimes it’ll be the same thing. you’ll hear a song that reminds you of someone you promised you’d never forget and you’ll realize you already have, a little. you’ll outgrow versions of yourself you once thought permanent and mourn them like old friends and still you will keep going. you’ll see sunsets that make your chest tighten. you’ll be held when you least expect it. you’ll feel the cold on your face and remember what it means to be alive. and it won’t always be gentle but it will be yours.

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Hanif Abdurraqib, In Defense of Despair

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fireflies lighting up a rural Pennsylvania field at dusk

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"When the veil has been lifted on the day of judgement revealing the value of good deeds for the people they'll not see any action better in reward than the remembrance of Allah (Dhikr).

At that time a group of people who'll sigh because they missed out and say:

“There was nothing easier for us than dhikr and yet we did not do it”

—Ibn al Qayyim | al-Waabil al-Sayyib | 11

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میرا گُڈا / mera gudda

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🗡️ Be your own knight carrying-a-box-of-donuts! 🍩

I’ve been craving a donut for a few days now and bugging baby bro to pick some up from my fav shop when he’s in that part of the city. Problem is, he hasn’t had a chance to go, so today, I decided to make my own dream come true ‘cause it do be like that 99% of the time. I mean, it was either that or ugly crying and donuts are infinitely more fulfilling than tears. So, alhamdullilah for the ability to fulfill my own wishes.

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Talking myself off the proverbial ledge every.single.day is taking everything out of me.

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no weapons against me shall prosper

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We weren't meant to live this fast. That's why our bodies push back with anxiety, exhaustion, illness. We were made for slowness, connection, care, nature, laughter, and deep presence. That's where we belong. That's where we can return.

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Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.

And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."

And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.

And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.

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Based on Ashfaq Ahmed’s short story Sanam Gazida from Aik Mohabbat Sau Afsane

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id love to be a golden ray of sunshine

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Get well soon InshaAllah 🌻

JazakAllah khair for the kind sentiment. InshaAllah🌻