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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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I’ve made plenty of mistakes as a husband, God knows and my wife can certainly testify.

I guess that’s partly why I can help people in their relationships is because I’m pretty clear at seeing all my mistakes, and I have no delusions of getting it perfect.

Speaking of not getting it perfect, I wanted to share a quick story with you of one of my many failings and how I overcame it.

A while back, I used to be the kind of husband that was critical of my wife for not “doing her part”. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I used to shame her and criticize her for not being a good wife. Ugh….I’ve had better moments.

I would complain that she wasn’t attentive enough.

I would tell her she expected too much of me.

And I, like so many guys, would play the victim when we weren’t intimate enough.

Have you ever been there? Or is it just me?

This was all around the time we had our first son…

She, can you believe her audacity…..devoted most of her resources to caring for an infant, and I felt sidelined.

I felt that she was cold, distant, uncaring, and aloof.

I felt that our son was more important than me (it was was, and should have been).

And it pains to admit this, but I told her all of those things…WHILE. SHE. WAS. CARING. FOR. A. BABY.

**Don’t judge me please**

The truth is, I wanted to be the baby, and there certainly wasn’t room for two of us

And then I was confronted…..

One day, as I’m talking to our couples therapist about how wronged I’ve been (cue the sigh), he asked me this:

Why don’t you take ownership of the marriage?

I said, “What do you mean?”

And he said, “Well, considering all that she’s doing to keep things afloat, it seems like it’s the least you could do”.

Dang…so much for that warm empathy!

Here what he broke down for me:

ALL THE THINGS MY WIFE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR:

Baby surviving

Nannies

Doctors’s appointments

Groceries

Cooking/Meal prep

Cleaners

Vacations

Social calendar

Outside appointments

Etc.

ALL THE THINGS I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR:

Income provider

Our therapist was right.

She had a gazzilion things she was juggling. She was understandably tired and overwhelmed, and I was taking it personal.

The least I could do was take ownership of the marriage.

I want to say that again…

The least I could do was take ownership of the marriage.

I had a lightbulb moment and right then I made a personal declaration that I would take ownership of our marriage.

I would take the lead on making it run well and I would totally take that off her plate and expect nothing in return.

And it was the best thing I ever did.

I decided….

If I wanted more love, I would show more love.

If I wanted more kindness, I would be that kindness.

If I wanted more peace, I would have to be peaceful.

If I wanted more playfulness, I would be more playful.

And just to be clear in case it sounds like I’m throwing my wife under the bus for not being a great wife….I’m not. My wife is absolutely amazing.

I’m so thankful she was patient with me when I was totally trying to run our ship aground….

This story is not about her, but about how any of us can take ownership of our relationship.

And for many of us, we need to look at these “lists” in our lives, and really ask ourselves: “who really here has capacity to take the lead?”

Generally speaking, I find that many men could do themselves a giant favor by taking ownership just like I did.

When we take ownership, we move out of the victim role, and move into an empowered role, and it’s a great switch.

If you feel like you’re not getting all that you want from your relationship, ask yourself two things:

1. Ask yourself if your partner truly has the capacity to be the kind of partner you are expecting. They might not.

2. Are you willing to be the kind of person that takes total ownership of the marriage?

Blessings to you,

Quentin “taking ownership” Hafner

However, if you feel like partnering together would be a good fit in meeting your needs, and you’d like to start a conversation about how we could work together, please click here.

#marriage #marriage counseling #couples therapy

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Couples Therapy in Orange County

MODERN COUPLES THERAPY. HEALTHY CONNECTIONS. SUSTAINABLE RESULTS.

As a marriage counselor and couples therapist practicing in Orange County, CA, I take pride in working tirelessly until partners in relationships feel massively more content, have greater levels of peace, and generally feel much more satisfied to be together than ever before.

Through counseling, we achieve this by helping couples understand the very subtle but extremely important, and often overlooked, nuances in relationships that contribute to feeling frustrated, lonely, or sometimes, downright ready to leave the relationship.

More than ever before, couples need a roadmap to navigate their relationships in our modern age. So much has changed regarding relationships, yet so much of the advice we receive from well meaning people, including many other marriage counselors, is too simple and outdated.

From navigating shifting gender roles, to changing spousal expectations, to how we share parenting responsibilities, many couples feel lost on “how to do it”.

And working with a competent and caring marriage counselor can be just what you need to get your relationship back on track.

IF YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND FIND YOURSELF STRUGGLING, YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE. THE FOCUS OF MUCH OF MY CAREER HAS BEEN HELPING PEOPLE IN MARRIAGE COUNSELING MAKE MEANINGFUL AND LASTING CONNECTIONS THAT ARE SUSTAINABLE FOR THE LONG TERM.

HANG WITH ME IN COUPLES THERAPY FOR A LITTLE WHILE AND I CAN HELP YOU GET THERE TOO.

If you’re a husband…

and you feel like there’s nothing you can do to make her happy…

that she’s always frustrated with you…

and you’re always disappointing her…

Hang with me for a little while and I can help you change all of that.

If you’re a wife…

and you feel like you’re not as important as you used to be…

that you don’t matter as much…

that you’ve been neglected and sidelined and

now you’re frustrated….you’ve landed in the right place too.

I BELIEVE A GREAT MARRIAGE IS AVAILABLE AND POSSIBLE FOR ANYONE. AND WORKING WITH A COMPETENT COUPLES THERAPIST CAN HELP YOU ACHIEVE THAT. PLEASE EXPLORE ALL OF YOUR OPTIONS BEFORE DECIDING TO END YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

If you’re wanting to take your relationship to a new level, or, if you’re currently trying to solve a seemingly unresolvable dilemma in your relationship, please contact me.

_______________

5 ELEMENTS THAT CREATE WINNING TEAMS AT WORK AND THRIVING FAMILIES AT HOME

LEARN THE 5 THINGS EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE KNOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIPS

Signup Now!

#couples therapy #relationships #relationship counseling #marriage counseling

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I was interviewed on The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast with Kate Anthony and we had a great discussion about relationship struggles and the ultimate relationship question: Should I Stay or Should I Go.

I break down the three biggest reasons why marriages often fail.

In addition we also cover:

My 6 non-negotiables in a relationship and what they should really mean for you.

How we’re approaching men about going to therapy all wrong and how to better invite them into the process.

My view of the 3 most common reasons people leave marriages—and if they’re actually good enough reasons to leave.

My view of the 3 most common reasons people leave marriages and—if they’re actually good enough reason to leave.

Why the fact that 68% of second marriages fail and 73% of third marriages fail really matters to the choice ahead of you right now.

Why 69% of marriages are ended by women, and what men can do to not be a casualty of that.

We cover so much more! You can listen to the full podcast here!

#divorce #relationships

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Personal Relationship Challenges

HELPING SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ACHIEVE GREATER FULFILLMENT WITH IMPROVED RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEMSELVES AND OTHERS SO THEY LEAVE THE LEGACIES THEY TRULY DESIRE.

As a licensed therapist, I take pride in guiding men and women to feel massively more content, create greater levels of peace, and generally feel much more satisfied about their lives than ever before.

Achieving greater levels of personal fulfillment comes through taking a closer look at the very subtle, but extremely important, and often overlooked, nuances in emotional and relational health that are at the root-cause of feeling frustrated, disconnected, or sometimes, downright feeling hopeless.

Whether we’re dedicated to working individually on our personal growth, or in the context of couples therapy & marriage counseling, more than ever before, people need a trusted partner with emotional and relational expertise to navigate the shifting paradigms in our modern age. So much has changed regarding what is expected of us, yet so much of the advice we receive from well meaning friends and family, including many counselors, is out-dated and doesn’t work.

HERE ARE A FEW OF THE COMMON PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGES MY CLIENTS FIND SUCCESS IN OVERCOMING

Improving Relationship Intimacy & Emotional Connections

Coping with Checked-Out & Disengaged Partners

Contemplating Divorce? Should I Stay, or Should I Go Marriage Evaluation

Workaholism, Lost Purpose & Burnout

Career Driven Anxiety & Depression

Affair Recovery; Rebuilding After Infidelity

Conflict Resolution for Relationships

Relationship Crisis Geared Toward Saving Your Marriage

Substance Abuse Challenges & Alcoholism

Healthy Communication Skill-Building

If you are currently at a place finding yourself struggling with a personal relationship challenge, you’re in the right place. The focus of my work is helping successful people achieve more personal and lasting fulfillment through improved connections with themselves and others.

Click here to contact me now.

#relationships #relationship counseling #couples therapy #marriage counseling #Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Teams come in all shapes and sizes. It might be the personal team of your family, or your management team at the office; the principles are always the same.

This blog is a quick look, backed by research, of the most important relational elements that make great teams, whether inside of an organization or at home.

The great part about all of these elements is that they are all easily implementable, no matter the current status of your team!

Wherever you’re at, I hope you can apply these 5 ideas to the key relationships in your own life.

1. GREAT TEAMS HAVE BUY-IN AROUND A SHARED MISSION & VISION.

Great teams have a shared mission/vision that their people can get behind. Before your team can ever become a real team, the team members have to have something that drives them to be a great team. Something bigger and more existential that will motivate them to pursue greatness. The teams vision sets the team on a shared path with a shared direction.

It’s the teams North Star, and without it, the team will not rally.

Too many teams (even family teams) flounder because they don’t have a shared vision that inspires them to stay united and grounded as a team.

Does the team you’re part of have a purpose-driven shared vision?

2. GREAT TEAMS PRIORITIZE PROCESSES OVER OUTCOMES.

Taking a play out of Apples play book, they were famous for saying, “culture beats strategy.” Apple obviously got it right considering their incredible success. Great teams place a higher emphasis on how they go about reaching their goals as opposed to the goals themselves.

Focusing on the process is analogous to focusing on healthy roots of a tree, and not the fruit of the tree itself. Focusing on the fruit and neglecting the roots will be a short-lived tree. But focusing on the roots will produce fruit for the long term.

Too many teams place too high an emphasis on key performance indicators at the expense of culture, morale, and keeping their people engaged in the team. KPI‘s are obviously very important to look at, but not at the expense of the health of the team.

Focusing on how we are going to get there as opposed to getting to the destination at any cost, is a sign of a great team.

Is your team more process driven or outcome driven?

3. GREAT TEAMS CREATE SOLUTION-FOCUSED ENVIRONMENTS OF OPTIMISM.

Another hallmark sign of a great team is one that instills a “can-do“ attitude amongst the members. On these teams, each member has a mindset that is optimistic and solution focused.

As opposed to a mindset of pessimism which kills the teams momentum and positive energy.

Great team members are always encouraging one another to see what is possible as opposed to what is not possible. This type of mindset is powerfully contagious and helps great teams achieve great things.

For the team that you are part of, even in your family, do you see it defined by solution focused optimism?

4. GREAT TEAMS COMMUNICATE EARLY & COMMUNICATE OFTEN.

Great teams communicate early, and communicate often.

Me to my client: “How long is that been bothering you?”

Client: “For a really long time. Feels like since the beginning.”

Me: “What’s happened when you’ve addressed it?”

Client: “I haven’t had a chance yet.”

I hear this a lot with teams that aren’t performing as well as they could. Something is happening and no one is talking about it. At least not directly tackling the problem head-on.

Great teams master communication with each other. They talk early, and they talk often.

For the team that you are part of, what does the consistency and clarity of communication look like?

5. GREAT TEAMS CEMENT TRUST BY CREATING INTERDEPENDENCE.

It’s not enough for the members of the team to rely on the leader. They also need to rely on each other. Great teams understand that trust is built and solidified by creating a healthy interdependence amongst the team members.

Healthy interdependence is: “I need you, and you need me”.

On great teams, there are no rogue operators going solo, and there are no “useless” under-performers.

Everyone has a crucial role on the team. They all need each other and lean on one another.

For the team that you are part of, how interdependent are the members?

Creating healthy and high-performing teams is a critical part of being both occupationally, and personally successful.

If the key relationships in your life are not operating as well as you know they could, consider implementing one or more of these five ideas and see how powerfully improved your team can become.

Contact me today if you are wanting to improve the quality of the team you are part of!

#team

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Ways To Build Trust In Relationships

Check out this quick video where I talk about the 5 things any of us can do to promote more trust in our relationships.

Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship, and without it enough of it, we’ll always be limited in how much life-giving goodness comes from people we surround ourselves with.

I talk about trust in a business relationship in this video, but it’s just as applicable in any personal relationship.

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However, if you feel like partnering together would be a good fit in meeting your needs, and you’d like to start a conversation about how we could work together, please click here.

#relationships #relationship counseling

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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In today’s episode, we’re having a conversation with a special friend of mine, John Davidson.

John is a psychotherapist and happiness coach in the UK, and the owner of Happiness Hacks, an international training program to help people increase their level of happiness.

John and I know a lot about happiness because we both spend nearly all of our waking hours helping people become happier through therapy and coaching. Me in Newport Beach, and John in the UK. And we cover some really important ideas in this show that just might help you get happier today!

We talk about:

What are some unique challenges or obstacles to happiness and fulfillment to those that are busy professionals?

Is there a difference between happiness and fulfillment?

There’s so much in the world that promises to make us happy. More money, new jobs, new relationships, material possessions, etc. Why don’t these things ever really make us any happier?

What are the secrets that happy people know about happiness, that others don’t?

How can someone listening cultivate more happiness in their lives?

Click here to listen to the podcast.

#relationships

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Buy Black Belt Husband Book Online

HELPING GOOD GUYS , TRANSFORM THEIR MARRIAGES, BY BECOMING GREAT HUSBANDS.

Struggling in marriage can feel very difficult. We can feel uncertain, confused, and frustrated about it all. Sometimes, it’s such a terrible feeling because we feel that, no matter how hard we try, we just can’t seem to gain headway in a positive direction.

I know because I’ve been there myself. But there are solutions, thankfully.

Black Belt Husband is a program designed to offer guys a clear plan, and an actionable road-map to transform their marriages so we move from feeling frustrated and confused, to feeling peaceful and happy.

HELPING GOOD GUYS, TRANSFORM THEIR MARRIAGES, BY BECOMING GREAT HUSBANDS.

MARRIED MEN WHO HAVE PARTICIPATED IN THE BLACK BELT HUSBAND PROCESS HAVE REPORTED THE FOLLOWING IMPROVEMENTS TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR WIVES:

91%- Improvement in Reducing Conflict

77% - Increase in Confidence as a Husband

87% - Improved Listening Skills

92% - Improvement in Empathy

86% - Increase in Sexual Intimacy

HELPING GOOD GUYS , TRANSFORM THEIR MARRIAGES, BY BECOMING GREAT HUSBANDS.

If you’re anything like me, you want to have a great marriage. And being a great husband is important to you as well. I believe those are values and ethics inside most men. If that’s you, you’ve landed in the right place.

I know how difficult it can be to struggle in marriage. It can feel hopeless at times; feeling like there isn’t anything you can do to make it better. I get that. As a licensed marriage & family therapist, the majority of my career has been about helping people solve personal and relationship challenges. I have helped thousands of individuals & couples, probably not dissimilar to you, restore and transform their marriages and families.

And I’d like to guide you too. The Black Belt Husband process guides men from feeling uncertain, worried, and confused about their marriage, to feeling supremely confident, peaceful and excited about the future. And that’s a great shift. The Black Belt Husband process helps good guys, transform their marriages, by becoming great husbands.

BUY NOW!

#relationships #couples therapy

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Why “Being Nice” Isn't a Compliment for Husbands

We’ve all been taught since we were little boys that “being nice” was the way to go.

That “being nice” was the higher road.

Conventional wisdom and even other marriage counselors suggest “being more nice” as a way to improve your marriage or relationship.

“If you were just nicer, things would be better” they say….

I want to share with you quickly 3 reasons WHY this is absolutely the wrong strategy for being a better husband and having a great marriage, AND 3 things to do instead:

Instead of “being nice”, be KINDLY HONEST.

We’ve been taught since we were little boys that “being nice” meant stuffing our feelings and giving up what felt important to us.

Messages around being “sacrificial” have been totally contorted to the point where we’ve come to believe that being honest about what’s important to us was somehow wrong.

When we stop being honest about our thoughts and emotions, we can’t help but become resentful, angry, and depressed.

Your wife craves your honesty I promise, we just have to learn HOW to deliver it in the right way. You can still be a really good guy, and be honest about things.

Instead of “being nice”, be KINDLY ASSERTIVE.

Similarly to honesty, society has taught us that the “right way” to be good husbands was to be passive and deferential.

It’s sounds nice in theory but it ends up creating a bunch of passive-aggressive and miserable husbands.

Then your wife complains that she doesn’t really know you or feel close to you because you’ve spent so much of your life believing that letting her win and “being nice” at the cost of you losing was the better way.

It wasn’t. But it’s not your fault.

You were taught to be passive and deferential. When we’re passive for too long, we’ll end up flipping the switch to aggressive, if we don’t know how to be assertive. We have to learn HOW to be assertive. Assertiveness is simply being true to yourself and not being afraid to honor it.

Instead of “being nice”, BE PRESENT.

We’ve been taught also that what it means to be a good husband is to simply show up and be a “good listener”.

Like it’s our jobs to act as surrogate therapists for our wives. It’s not.

Being a good listener is only half the equation. We have to be good share’rs too. We have to get into the game of the relationship.

We have get in the game and show up and learn how to express ourselves. Being a good husband isn’t just about catching all your wife’s feelings. You have feelings too (you and I both know this) and it’s important that you learn HOW to share them with her.

Culture and society have lied to you (and me) and tried to convince us that we just need to “be there for her”. That’s only 1/2. Your wife craves for you to show up and reveal more of yourself too. We just have to learn HOW — likely something we haven’t been taught.

The good news is that all of this is totally learnable.

There’s a better way. No, it’s not just a better way, it’s really the only way. The quicker you realize you’ve been lied to and the way you’re likely doing it won’t work, the quicker you’re going to have the peace and content you’re looking for in your marriage. I promise.

Let’s change the world together and reclaim the nobility in being a great husband.

Connect with me now.

#relationships

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Quentin was interviewed on The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast with Kate Anthony and we had a great discussion about relationship struggles and the ultimate relationship question: Should I Stay or Should I Go.

Quentin breaks down the three biggest reasons why marriages often fail.

In addition we also cover:

My 6 non-negotiables in a relationship and what they should really mean for you.

How we’re approaching men about going to therapy all wrong and how to better invite them into the process.

My view of the 3 most common reasons people leave marriages—and if they’re actually good enough reasons to leave.

My view of the 3 most common reasons people leave marriages and—if they’re actually good enough reason to leave.

Why the fact that 68% of second marriages fail and 73% of third marriages fail really matters to the choice ahead of you right now.

Why 69% of marriages are ended by women, and what men can do to not be a casualty of that.

We cover so much more! You can listen to the full podcast here!

#divorce

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Couples Therapist in Newport Beach, CA

MY NAME IS QUENTIN HAFNER AND I HELP PEOPLE FIND SOLUTIONS TO LIFE'S CHALLENGES THROUGH IMPROVED RELATIONAL & EMOTIONAL HEALTH.

As a therapist, counselor, and coach in Orange County working with individuals & couples, I help people move from feeling frustrated, confused, and distracted by challenges, to reclaiming peace-of-mind, feeling more energized, and ultimately discovering sustainable solutions to life’s challenges. As a licensed therapist in Orange County, and a consultant to business leaders & organizations, I combine my expertise in clinical psychology and relationship dynamics with real-world and practical applications that result in positive and measurable results for my clients. I like to say I have a therapists heart and a results-driven mind. Together, we will accomplish your goals through a 3-step process:

1 DEVELOPING CLARITY AROUND DESIRED GOALS AND OUTCOMES.

2 CREATING A CLEAR STRATEGY TO REACH GOALS AND OBJECTIVES.

3 IMPLEMENTING SOLUTIONS TO REACH YOUR DESIRED CHANGE.

HELPING SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE CONNECT BETTER TO THEMSELVES, AND TO OTHERS.

Prior to working as a therapist & leadership consultant in Orange County, I spent many years in the corporate world working for Big 4 public accounting & commercial real estate private equity firms, before realizing how much I enjoyed helping people create and sustain the lives they truly desired through improved connections to themselves and others. Eventually, I made the decision to leave my corporate job, and launch out to start a therapy & counseling private practice with the focus of helping people in leadership roles and their families solve people challenges.

I have spent over 15,000 thousand hours doing one-on-one counseling and group counseling, and just as many hours learning, consulting, and studying on all things related to what’s necessary for optimal relational and emotional functioning. Since completing my Master’s Degree in Psychology, I have gone on to teach at a local University and I have continued my education journey through doctoral level trainings, workshops, and supervision in the most cutting edge theories of relationship dynamics, leadership, emotional intelligence, and personal development. In 2020, I started pursuing an additional Master’s Degree is Organizational Leadership.

In 2018, as a way to help men and husbands solve challenges in their marriages, I published an Amazon #1 best-selling marriage book specifically for husbands; Black Belt Husband.

I AM A LOVER OF LEARNING AND HOLD ONTO THE TRUISM THAT I CAN ONLY TAKE MY CLIENTS AS FAR AS I’VE GONE MYSELF.

That is why I continually remain in my own personal development work too; to continue growing for myself and my clients. When I’m not working, I love spending time with my family and being active with friends. I am happily married and a father of two young boys, Levi & Samuel. In my sparetime, I love training Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, surfing, camping, and getting lost trail running in the most incredible nature preserves in Orange County.

I believe that true, lasting change, happens in the context of a trusting relationship with another person, and that is what I hope to gain with all my therapy and counseling clients. I know choosing a therapist or counselor can sometimes be a difficult decision. If there’s anything I can do to ease your mind or help you in this process, please don’t hesitate to let me know. Please send me a message through my contact page if you feel like I may be a good fit for what you’re looking for, and we can set up an appointment to meet each other in person, or over the phone. I would be honored to meet you, and would like to hear your story.

#relationships #relationship counseling #couples therapy

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Depression can feel like a scary word. Sometimes, when we hear someone talk about being depressed we think of someone that is suicidal, or can’t get out of bed. Although being severely depressed can look like that for some people, depression for most doesn’t look as severe.

But even if we’re not feeling suicidal and we can get out of bed, feeling depressed can still be really tough.

We can feel a bit flat. Low energy. Low motivation. Difficulty focusing and concentrating. Our sleep can be impacted; either sleeping too much or too little. We can be really irritable.

With the novelty and initial surge of anxiety around COVID-19 starting to wane, the normal, predictable, and natural next phase of our emotional experience is often feeling some depression.

I know I have.

Depression isn’t something we need to be afraid of though; it’s a normal and natural part of the human experience when we go through challenging times and experience unanticipated change.

I created this 15-minute video where I share 6 things you can do to help if you’re feeling a little depressed. Please feel free to share with someone you know that may be feeling depressed too, it may help them feel empowered to take control of their experience.

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And as always, if you’d ever like to talk with me about a challenging time you’re going through, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. We’re all in this together!

#depression #mental health

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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At the roots of all interpersonal conflict, are unmet core human needs. Whether we’re talking about conflict inside the workplace, or we’re talking about conflict at home, it’s always about unmet needs.

Unhealthy conflict is exhausting, draining, and will take the life out of anything good. I’ve been there, and maybe you have too!? And there’s no quicker way to end a potentially good relationship, partnership, or team dynamic by not knowing how to manage conflict.

Conflict has been historically misunderstood and wrongly dealt with as a behavioral issue. Teaching people conflict management skills, or “fair fighting principles” are well intended, but they never get to the heart of conflict, which is deeply emotional, and a foundational part of my counseling and leadership consulting practice.

Addressing conflict or difficult relationships without addressing the emotional component is like showing up to the hospital with a torn off arm and being asked if you wanted to do your routine annual physical while you’re there.

It totally misses what’s necessary and essential to resolve the real problem.

This 30-minute video is a segment of a larger series I use to coach leaders and management teams on how to create more psychological safety amongst their team members; by addressing conflict and difficult people through the lens of unmet core needs.

CLICK HERE to see my other blog called, “5 Questions to Ask Before Entering Any Partnership”.

I get so excited to share this stuff with people in a corporate context and watch their relationships at work get better instantly. Also I know they’ll take the information home and it will positively change their marriages and parenting styles in a way that is transformative too.

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Please reach out to me if there’s anything I can help you answer about this video or if you’d like my help to improve the relationships that matter most in your life.

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Workplace Relationship Challenges

HOW ARE RELATIONSHIPS THRIVING INSIDE YOUR ORGANIZATION?

When things at work aren’t clicking well, it results in people feeling uncommitted, marginally productive, or in some cases, feeling completely checked-out from work. When relationship disconnection happens in the workplace, it bleeds into our personal lives and we start to feel flat, lifeless, anxiety filled, and increasingly dissatisfied.

If you’re in a leadership position and you can relate to this, I am really glad you’re here because I’m passionate about helping people connect better in the workplace, which always results in improved economics.

IN A RECENT GALLOP SURVEY, IT REPORTED THAT 75% OF THE AMERICAN WORKFORCE WAS DISENGAGED; DUE TO UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS.

Relationship dysfunction in the workplace results in costly units of human capital with minimal return. If these relationship challenges are not addressed, it may go for weeks, months, or years undermining the momentum of an organization. The good news, is that nearly all of this can be solved with becoming a more relationally effective leader.

It’s been long understood that people challenges in the workplace can lead to unnecessary and costly turnover, but what about the relationship challenges that persist between key personal such as unnecessary conflict amongst board members, members of management teams, and small business partnerships; all of which undermine the critical importance of a healthy workplace culture. The financial toll for workplace relationship challenges can’t be overstated.

And what about the emotional toll that being in a disconnected workplace environment takes on our personal lives?

RESEARCH HAS SHOWN TIME AND AGAIN THE SOBERING TRUTHS ABOUT WHY PEOPLE LEAVE ORGANIZATIONS; THE CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE SEEMS TO BE OVERWHELMINGLY RELATIONAL.

Research shows that across the organizations hierarchy structure, people leave organizations due to dissatisfied and dysfunctional relationship dynamics. Relationship dynamics with supervisors, board members, partnerships, and management teams. Across the gamut, the results are the same; it is unresolved relationship challenges that can erode the organizational culture. By contrast, organizations with high relationship health ratings are more productive, more profitable, and have higher customer satisfaction ratings than those organizations with unresolved relationship challenges. Top companies know the best reason to be concerned about solving relationship challenges in the workplace is an economic one.

STUDIES HAVE REVEALED THAT ON AVERAGE, LEADERS & ORGANIZATIONS WITH RELATIONSHIP INTELLIGENCE SCORES IN THE TOP-HALF, AS COMPARED TO LEADERS & ORGANIZATIONS WITH RELATIONSHIP INTELLIGENCE SCORES IN THE BOTTOM-HALF, HAVE:

86% — Higher Customer Ratings

70% — Lower Team Turnover

70% — Higher Productivity

78% — Better Safety Records

44% — Higher Profitability

As a relationship problem solver for leaders wanting to specifically solve workplace relationship challenges, my specialty is working with leaders move from feeling stuck in conflict and disconnected, to solving the relational issues that impede on the organizations mission and vision. As a consultant for leaders & organizations, with formal training in clinical psychology, I understand what makes people thrive and what makes people simply try to survive in the workplace, and the impact these two differences have on an organization’s bottom-line.

AS A CONSULTANT WORKING WITH BUSINESS LEADERS & ORGANIZATIONS, I OFFER THE FOLLOWING SERVICES SPECIFICALLY TOWARD SOLVING WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGES:

Comprehensive Relational Team-Building Coaching

Emotional & Relationship Development Coaching for Key Personnel

Key Personnel Mediation & Conflict Resolution Coaching

If you have any questions or want to learn more, please click here.

#workplace relationship #Leadership coaching

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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In today’s episode, we’re having a conversation with a special friend of mine, John Davidson.

John is a psychotherapist and happiness coach in the UK, and the owner of Happiness Hacks, an international training program to help people increase their level of happiness.

John and I know a lot about happiness because we both spend nearly all of our waking hours helping people become happier through therapy and coaching. Me in Newport Beach, and John in the UK. And we cover some really important ideas in this show that just might help you get happier today!

We talk about:

What are some unique challenges or obstacles to happiness and fulfillment to those that are busy professionals?

Is there a difference between happiness and fulfillment?

There’s so much in the world that promises to make us happy. More money, new jobs, new relationships, material possessions, etc. Why don’t these things ever really make us any happier?

What are the secrets that happy people know about happiness, that others don’t?

How can someone listening cultivate more happiness in their lives?

CLICK HERE to listen to the podcast.

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Gaining Clarity On The Most Difficult Decision Of Your Life

Not sure if you should stay and fix your marriage, or initiate a divorce?

SHOULD I STAY, OR SHOULD I GO?

Gaining Clarity On The Most Difficult Decision Of Your Life

FIND OUT WHY PEOPLE GET STUCK & AND GET CLARITY TODAY...

YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY CONFUSED...

There's nothing more difficult than struggling with this particular life-changing decision.

We can rarely bring this stuff to friends and family because we know they are impartial.

Whether or not to stay or go in your marriage has surely led to many sleepless nights. I get it; it's likely the hardest decision you'll ever have to make.

It doesn't have to be this way anymore.

As a licensed therapist, I've worked with thousands of people to help show them a systematic way to make this very difficult decision.

GET THE CLARITY YOU'RE LOOKING FOR BY EVALUATING YOUR RELATIONSHIP THROUGH AN EXPERT SYSTEMATIC PROCESS.

SHOULD I STAY, OR SHOULD I GO 45-MINUTE WEBINAR & 85-QUESTION DIAGNOSTIC MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT

DISCOVER THE 3-MYTHS - Look at how most people incorrectly evaluate the sustainability of their marriage, and what to do differently.

EXPERT ADVICE YOU CAN TRUST This webinar is taught by a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in helping people make this specific decision.

GET CLARITY & DIRECTION - Use the 45-minute webinar and complimentary 85-question assessment as a methodical way to evaluate your marriage.

100% QUALITY GUARANTEE - If you don't find the webinar and assessment helpful, we'll gladly refund your money.

Meet the Webinar Presenter, Quentin Hafner, LMFT

Hey there, my name is Quentin Hafner, LMFT.

I work as a professional therapist and executive coach where the focus of my practice is working with people trying to sort out really tough decisions.

I've worked with thousands of people in the Should I Stay, or Should I Go scenario and I know exactly what needs to be considered and evaluated if this is the place you find yourself in.

Too often, we leave this challenging life-decision to complex and complicated emotions without thoroughly considering all of the important and nuanced factors that are involved, which can have really big long-term implications.

I simply want to share with you what I've learned having walked through the Should I Stay, or Should I Go scenario with thousands of men and women over the last 15 years.

HERE'S WHAT WE'LL COVER IN THIS WEBINAR

How to get clarity on this life-changing decision so you can stop the back and forth and finally feel a sense of resolve.

The step-by-step process you’ll need to go through in order to make the right choice for you and your family, and to make it confidently and with peace of mind.

How to get out of the ambivalence and confusion and get ready to take action – one way or the other.

The top-3 Relationship Ending Myths that can lead people to making risky decisions around divorce, and how to avoid them.

How to assess where you're at in your own relationship - objectively - and what this means for you and your family.

The resources available to you while you navigate this major life change {no matter what you decide to do}.

INFORMATION. EVALUATION. DECISION. EXECUTION.

Become informed regarding Should I Stay, or Should I Go - This webinar is not a templated approach. We know every single person is unique. We want to give you all the data in the webinar so you can make the best and right decision for YOU.

Evaluate the specifics of your unique situation - Friends and family will give you advice, but it's rarely something you can trust because they don't know the nuances and the uniqueness of your situation. The webinar takes this factor into consideration when evaluating relationship.

Decide which direction is best for you - The webinar can't tell you which way you should go, but the webinar can help you get informed in a whole new way that will help you decide which direction is best for you.

Make a plan & execute - The Should I Stay, or Should I Go 45-minute webinar will equip you with new understandings and tools to evaluate your marriage. The 45-minute webinar and relationship assessment often are what people need to make a plan for their marriage and finally execute.

Making the wrong decision can be costly. You owe it to yourself to get this right.

Purchase the 45-minute webinar and 85-question marriage assessment & report and get the answers you're looking for today.

Purchase Now!