ragamuffinkingblog

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Sick of blocking the worst of the TDS posts. Repeating a lie will not make me believe you.

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You’ve all likely heard me boast of a BBQ place near me that was a casualty of the Covid restrictions. It was in the top spot of places I wanted any visitor to experience because, well, it was THAT good. Shucks, when family from Wisconsin would visit, I’d even just go all out and buy all the meals myself just so they wouldn’t skimp and miss out. It was an honor to share with them something so incredible that we’d talk about for a long time after. Something that an outsider may doubt, because they had never tried the food there. But it made them curious about why we were sooo sold on the place.

Now let me tell you about Jesus.

Get it?

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Why was Oedipus against profanity?

Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.

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Never interrupt your enemy while they are making a mistake.

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I bumped into an old friend whose whole world has changed. He still smiles.

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You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy. — Nightbirde

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I am soooo tired of adulting.

I’m only kidding.

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I’m out shopping for buttons, zippers, and Velcro. I don’t actually need them, but I’m looking for some kind of closure.

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I used to sit at the back of the classroom, sucking on sunflower seeds. I was pretty irritated when someone else was voted “Most likely to Suck Seed.”

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the opossum it could be done.

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Checked out a book called “Surgery for the Novice” but when I got it home, the appendix was already gone.

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My weird uncle invented a thought-controlled air freshener. Sounds crazy, but...

...it makes scents when you think about it.

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I was in a bar and asked a pretty woman how she liked her eggs in the morning. She stomped on my foot and yelled, "UNFERTILIZED!"