raindtopia

[raindtopia]

[raindtopia]

You Are Going To Have So Much Success In 2018 (pass it on)

[raindtopia]

Childhood

When i was little i thought everyome had the same childhood as me. I thought every mom got beat by their husbands. I thought that once parent broke up the dad was no longer apart of your life. I thought that when your mom remarried you just have no right to know and live with a stanger. I thought that the mental abuse i got for years was normal. That fearing everything was normal. When i was little i thought i didnt matter. I shsould ignore how i feel. I thought that i someone beside my mom giving me food was a luxury and that i couldnt afford it. I thought that kids should take care of there kids. I thought is was normal to have your mothers funeral planned by 3rd grade because she can "die at any moment".

I thought this was normal until 7th grade when i made actual friends. I seen their families. The dad is nice and caring and takes care of the kids. Hes not a drunk. He buys his wife gifts not to apologize for hitting her. The kids didn't even think of their parents passing yet. They felt loved and understood. My friends family is amazing. She has a step mom and dad and they treat her just like their own kids. They have mutual respect and undertsanding in the house. They were never scared to say im hungery. They never had to call 911 before. They have never had to clean up their moms faces. They didnt have to jump in the car with their drunk mom to make sure she didnt kill herself. They had a happy childhood. Full of good memories.

Ive never had that. Now i struggling with issuse from this abuse. Trying to seperate from a controling mother and her new abuser. Trying to find my feelings and what i want. But how can i do that when your whole life you had to feel your mothers feelings. So now she still tried to tell me what to feel. I try not to listen but if i dont im disrespectful. I dont know what to do.

[raindtopia]

This is the money pentacle. Reblog and unexpected money will come to you!

[raindtopia]

This is the money pentacle. Reblog and unexpected money will come to you!

[raindtopia]

[raindtopia]

My best friends dumped me. They just decided I wasn't right for them or they had enough after 9 years. Weeks apart they dumped me. They just dropped me like i was dead wieght. And of course I couldn't understand. Was I dead weight? Did I cause this? Was there any possible way to win them back? What did I do to deserve loosing my two best friends... my sisters. For months those questions haunted me. I didnt sleep. I couldnt eat. I was nauseous. Sometime late at night it still haunts me. But what kills me the most is that I loved them so much that it broke me when they left. And yet they seem like they havent missed a beat. It seems like they are perfectly fine. Or that I was never apart of their lives. And now I wounder why am I still hurt and they are fine? Why do I get all the pain from this break up? I dont deserve this pain. I have loved them with all my heart. I have given my all. If they needed something I did my best to help them. Yet they dumped me and left me in shattered pieces on the floor. They left me a mess for someone else to clean. They no longer cared. I wasnt there problem anymore. Nine years of giving my all and thats what they did to me... left me a shattered glass on the floor.

[raindtopia]

Litchfield’s tribute to a masterpiece!

[raindtopia]

sad as fuck but i’m gonna act like i don’t give a fuck

[raindtopia]

How can you say i pushed you away when you were already stepping back?

c. k. reyes (via undeniably-amaranthine)

[raindtopia]

Fuck fake friends. We don’t need them.

Bebe Rexha // F.F.F. (via forgottenfeeelings)

[raindtopia]

Book of the week: Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed

Get the FREE Kindle Reading App

[raindtopia]

This is important hello (x)

[raindtopia]

Reblog if you’re definitely not straight

[raindtopia]

I fucking hate the way this site glorifies gays. Gays are not something to be supporting or romanticizing. If we don’t stop the gays now they will merge into the solarcanon and destroy the fucking sun with their fucking gay beam, so stop fucking joking about it.

[raindtopia]

So Iggy Azalea is running around town, saying that  Beyonce using the phrase, “Becky with the good hair is racist”… girl go sit down with your irrelevant racist ass.

But before you do… let’s pull the receipts showing how racist your ass is.

[raindtopia]

thank you, science side of tumblr.