reallybigshark2

[reallybigshark2]

i swear to god that social cue wasnt there before

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Having one-sided beef with one specific character is so funny. Like I can see a million characters who do terrible things and be like “whatever.” But then there’s one specific motherfucker who pissed me off so bad that I’d run them over at a red light if given the chance.

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i would pay stephenie meyer the entire contents of my bank account (7 dollars) to write the rest of the twilight books from edward’s perspective ESPECIALLY new moon. i need to know what that weirdo was doing in rio every day

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stoned and autistic at a party trying to make conversation: I find the comparative lifespan of organisms so interesting. Spiders are comparatively long lived animals. Female black widows can live up to 3 years but their male counterparts rarely live four months. Some tarantulas live upwards of 20 years. The longest lived spider was around 43 years old when she was cruelly assassinated by a parasitic wasp. Domestic rats have a lifespan comparable to female black widows. To put things into perspective, there are spiders that remember a pre-pandemic world but it is likely every rat on earth was born post-COVID. There could be a spider out there born when Reagan was in office.

[reallybigshark2]

there are a lot of undiagnosed adults out there but i do think it's a shame that we've reached a point where having hobbies and interests past the age of 20 is seen as a touch of the tism. i know many older adults who suppress all their childish desires and throw out all their old toys and for what. are you scared of being 'weird' ? who give a shit.

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a bad show? that's nothing? a good show? sure. but a bad show that, for a brief moment, becomes very good, and then never is again? that'll drive a person to madness

[reallybigshark2]

You know for the first 18-ish years of your life everyone your age is mostly doing the same things and then all of a sudden every year for the rest of your life somebody your age is getting divorced while somebody else just learned what a leaf is and you have no idea what’s going on or what you’re supposed to be doing

[reallybigshark2]

I woke up super anxious today for no reason and then I read today's Dracula Daily entry and I gotta say as bad as it sounds I feel a little better that the worst thing I have going on in my life is just a job search and not The Horrors™

[reallybigshark2]

pyramid conspiracies are so funny cause like yeah theyre extremely impressive feats of engineering but its not like. crazy unbelievable. i think even as a kid if you asked me how i thought the pyramids were built id be like "i think they probably cut rocks into rectangles and stacked them. it probably took a very long time." aliens or power plants would not remotely be on my list of options yknow.

[reallybigshark2]

Jonathan Harker and Count Dracula have very realistic employee-customer interactions; every response from Jonathan is like this

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truly never getting over the greatest loss streaming services caused: the disappearance of DVD special features. behind the scenes, bloopers, deleted scenes, commentaries, I will never forget you, I will never stop missing you.

[reallybigshark2]

"The last I saw of Count Dracula was his kissing his hand to me with a red light of triumph in his eyes, and with a smile that Judas in hell might be proud of."

Not this motherfucker effectively doing

before damning a full grown man to death.

Who knew Dracula was so cunty?

[reallybigshark2]

twilight: the vampire uses his supernatural abilities to parkour into the window to watch the mortal sleep

dracula: the mortal uses his supernaturally questionable human strength to parkour across the castle exterior to watch the vampire sleep

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Currently losing my mind over this comment about the fact that Charlie is the only character that isn't genderswap in official Twilight genderswap reimaging

[reallybigshark2]

Guys it’s john seward, quincey morris, and arthur holmwood

[reallybigshark2]

"Let me not think of it. Action!"

Jonathan Harker is scared but he does it scared.

[reallybigshark2]