redreadredemption

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Is your husband being held captive in a far off castle by some weird homo vampire? Why not take this opportunity to explore the wonders of lesbianism!

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LOG OF THE DEMETER: 0 days since our last accident ✌️

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Please understand that when we get a written out accent in Mina's section it is probably because she is using shorthand to transcribe phonetic sound and can do so with reasonable speed and accuracy.

As a reference... for the future... please also understand that should we get a written out accent in Jack's section, it will be because he is talking in that accent as he speaks into his phonograph.

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Renfield: If my pokemon don't evolve I am going to scream.

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@extremelycompressedjpeg i like to imagine he burrows in like one of those fish that conceal themselves in sand and is just

or

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“If Mr. Stoker has a problem with this he is cordially invited to rise from his mouldering grave and take it up with me personally.”

Death of the Author is out, challenging long dead writers to posthumous cage matches is IN.

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It should be noted that Bram Stoker's unrelenting love of physiognomy means that he, as an author, probably believed that a qualified doctor could diagnose homicidal mania from a patient making a mean face at them.

Still Jack cerebrating his way from "What an interesting dude. Redeemed by his love of animals :)" to "Ruh-roh! Sudden fierce, sidelong look! :(" does not register as the pinnacle of medical insight.

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Everyone's been posting their admiration for Matt's gumption here, but I feel that it should be mentioned that Bram Stoker was cremated, and his ashes (intermixed with those of his son) are on display above ground at the Golders Green Crematorium.

Matt Kirkland should know that he isn't throwing down to fight zombie or vampire Bram Stoker; he's throwing down to fight a father/son tag team of dust and small bone fragments.

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Dracula Daily is now Dracula Saily

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Captain: Well, there's no strange man here. We searched everywhere.

Captain: Even behind these large wooden boxes that look like a body could fit in them.

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Me 🤝 Matt Draculadaily

Being down to personally fight Bram Stoker

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“We searched EVERYWHERE on the ship for a stranger. Our only cargo was those person sized boxes of dirt we didn’t open so there was nowhere for the creepy guy to hide”

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No because I actually want this so badly for my Dracula collection

I'm absolutely dying at this kids adaptation of Dracula.

Obviously I'm not gonna post the whole book because we support the authors in this house, but omg, everyone just going, "Dracula! No biting!" and Dracula being like :(

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Jonathan Harker: Supplemental—I broke into Dracula’s room.

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If only Dracula had a women’s volleyball team to care about, it might help him learn to be less selfish…

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Since his clothes have been stolen, Jonathan has been copying Dracula's lizard fashion™