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[reincarnatedonthefirst]

The dinner date client for next Monday chose a restaurant.

😑

Let’s just say there’s no need for me to go glam. In fact, one of the restaurants he suggested was too low end for a dinner date to begin with (the kind of place people bring their stupid, rotten kids for lunch and dinner).

But, honestly, I have this impression that clients who request dinner dates actually want to have a sophisticated social experience with a hooker even if it’s just at a mid-end steakhouse like Ruth Chris. But in the sex worker forums, it seems that clients book dinner dates and actually prefer to eat at… diners…? I’m sure it’s because they either don’t want to spend the money or they don’t like fine dining, but if you’re booking a dinner date with an escort just to eat out at a diner, why bother with a dinner date at all…? I don’t understand sex worker client psychology. Eating out at a diner with an escort seems like a waste of money to me…

Maybe one of my seasoned professional followers can shed some light on this for me.

Anyway, now I have to struggle with finding a dress that looks appetizing but isn’t out of place for a mid restaurant like the one we’re going.

I don’t have an overly sexy, vixen wardrobe, but this is when a dress like this would come in handy. Simple, sexy, and basic (also, I love a sweetheart neckline and I love black)…

I may actually try and find a dress like this… 🤔

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

It was so thrilling to flirt with a civilian man last night. We made lots of eye contact. And, as I mentioned, he is my type, physically.

This is the part of vanilla dating that I miss - the thrill of “dance”.

Even though I played coy and somewhat prude (I love doing that), I’m pretty sure he could see I was attracted to him as well.

In any case, I can’t risk letting a man have an advantage over me. He is single in a city full of gorgeous black women - he probably gets a new phone number every night of the week. And to let myself be one of the girls he gets to sleep with for free doesn’t sit well with me…

Eh…

You know, I keep speaking of this as if he would be the only one benefiting but if the sex is good, I would be benefitting too… Unfortunately, I’d also put myself at risk for catching feelings. 🙄

The point is that I just know sleeping with a 30-something little fckboy for free would come back and bite me in the @ss somehow…

But to be taken out on a date and experience the thrill of genuine mounting sexual tension would be lovely. It’s been so long since I had that feeling! The men I sleep with as an escort is just… work.

Maybe I need to market myself for more dinner dates… 🧐

Hm…

I shouldn’t see this guy… right?

You know, the solution to all this is probably just masturbating. 😒

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

I got a chance to wear that new Diane von Furstenberg x Target dress last night. Wow. I looked good as fck. The dress is amazing. I had to stop breathing and suck in my stomach all night but it was worth it.

I would love to wear this dress on the dinner date next week but it’s really more of a daytime dress so it would not be appropriate.

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

The garden party was okay. For the first time ever, our women’s group had a 90%+ attendance rate! That’s something to celebrate but there were really too many people to keep up with. But the weather has been nice lately so, understandably, everyone wanted to go out to an outdoor event. On top of that, the event was more crowded than the first time I went (🤮).

Anyway, the girls enjoyed themselves. Some of them are brand new to the city and others just needed to get out and socialize. We actually saw a few reality tv show celebrities there so that was cool.

I ran into a dude that me and my friend met the first time we went. I am attracted to him physically and mentally but he’s young and a little childish. He’s also a little fresh. I gave him my number when he asked for it, knowing I probably wouldn’t answer his call. I should have just said no.

Anyway, on my way home, I toyed with the idea of sleeping with him but I can’t do it. I feel like I would be lowering myself and I’ve raised my standards so much over the last few years. But he’s adorable, he’s short (I am very attracted to short guys), and he’s smart. I already know the sex would be bomb. And his getting fresh with me made me want to discipline him but he’s probably not into that.

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

YES! It’s raining! YES! That means at least 5 people aren’t going to show up to the garden party! YES! 😂

I invited the women’s networking group to the garden party this evening and I kind of regret it because 24 people signed up to go. There’s usually an attendance rate of roughly 60% which means I have to pay attention to a little over 10 people instead of listening to the DJ play.

FCK! I pray that only a quarter of them show up. But even that’s too much. 😑

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

How old are you ? And are you a full time sw ?

I’m working my way up to getting more clients so that I can make sex work full time. I don’t see enough clients yet for it to be a full time job.

I’m over 30.

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

I started taking an organic coconut probiotic drink everyday (since Saturday) and my poops have been A1 TODAY!!! I pooped once in the morning and just now in the afternoon. BOTH poos were whole/formed! A 10 out of 10 on the Bristol Stool Chart!!!

I don’t know if it’s the probiotic drink that’s working it’s magic but it’s definitely one of the two things I’ve been taking lately that are new to my diet (the other thing I’ve been taking is a Chinese herb for digestion).

If my bowel movements stay healthy and regular like this, I’ll naturally lose at least another five pounds over the next few months.

Anyway, it may be too early to call it but I suspect the coconut probiotic drink is bringing that fire. Straight heat, baby!!!

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

Oh, my God, it’s 2PM and everyone is still going. No one has changed their “I’ll Be There” status. 😑

I invited the women’s networking group to the garden party this evening and I kind of regret it because 24 people signed up to go. There’s usually an attendance rate of roughly 60% which means I have to pay attention to a little over 10 people instead of listening to the DJ play.

FCK! I pray that only a quarter of them show up. But even that’s too much. 😑

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

I invited the women’s networking group to the garden party this evening and I kind of regret it because 24 people signed up to go. There’s usually an attendance rate of roughly 60% which means I have to pay attention to a little over 10 people instead of listening to the DJ play.

FCK! I pray that only a quarter of them show up. But even that’s too much. 😑

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

The best thing I did for my sex work business was upgrade my camera. I originally thought I made a mistake by selling my starter Nikon digital cam (I sold it for too little on eBay) but the Canon I replaced it with is on par in terms of quality. Additionally, it is wi-fi enabled.

I shot myself again today and ended up with two amazing photos after editing.

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

I just got my second multi-hour booking under my new low end persona. 🥳 I can't believe how well my new persona is going. After a little over three years, I'm finally understanding this business and having success.

I had only one multi-hour booking under my first and main persona but, here, I've booked both a three-hour dinner date and a two-hour appointment under my new lower end persona within the first two months. The fuq...

I need to start working out... Period... If I want to get more new clients and keep them, I need to tighten up. As it is with other women who make money off their looks (escorts, sugar babies, sexy influencers, "trophy" wives), I need to make it part of my job to keep up my appearance.

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

five finger tips?

Gym everyday for 30 days to start.

Cardio, Pilates, Light Lifting, Rowing, Incline Walking, and Sauna. All you need to get toned. Start by talking a walk today or following along with an online workout video and stick to it; you should work out as a habit and try to get 10,000 steps in every day, you should hydrate, and you should keep both your body and mind active. I used to hate working out but I found fun workouts, I started doing wood therapy and using a stepper, I met a friend who wanted to start her own gym journey and we started going together, and I found ways to get myself to the gym and haven’t stopped. Everyone needs to be active and get their blood moving and you shouldn’t discount the social, mental, and physical benefits that being in shape will bring you.

Eyebrow and Eyelash Serum Religiously.

I mean it, the eyes are the windows to your soul and your brows and lashes frame your eyes. I use The Ordinary’s Brow and Lash serum and it works miracles to help my brows and lashes look lush, feel healthy, and grow super quickly. This isn’t super important but I do believe that having a physical glow up is just as important as having a mental glow up. I love using serums, I love my skincare routine and using sunblock, and I love how it feels to explore and find things that work for my face and body. Having good hygiene is the base for everything; you could wear the best outfits and have the most beautiful personality but none of that is going to matter if your hygiene is lacking. I’m just going to focus on eyes here as I truly believe that they’re a key part of beauty but everything needs to be in line and taken care of before you focus on any of the smaller details.

Calorie Deficit and Healthy Eating.

You can start this process by learning how to cook or spending more time making meals at home. Packing lunch, meal prepping, and doing your best to clean up your eating habits is what will help you get in to shape. You don’t have to abandon your favourites completely, you can still enjoy things in moderation, but you should think about how your diet affects your results. I woke up this morning, was craving my usual hangover food, and so I made myself my own version McDonald’s Sausage Egg McMuffin. You can enjoy the things you love and enjoy without restricting yourself.

Realise that you’re NOT the exception.

I’ve said this same line a million times and I’ll beat a dead horse and say it once more. I’ve met women who are overweight, who don’t take care of themselves, and who wouldn’t be considered conventionally attractive but have still married well and found happiness. They are the EXCEPTION to the rule, exceptional cases with plenty of other skills and accomplishments, and you are not them. It’s rare to meet women like this, they don’t tend to be of our generation, and life and competitive dating both feel so much easier if you put in time and effort to maintain your mind and body.

Work on your social skills.

You really can’t hope to go far in hypergamy or competitive dating if your social skills aren’t up to par. If I’ve said this one time then I’ve said it a million but people seem to not understand just how important having the social skills of a well adjusted person are. There are a lot of social tips on hypergamytumblr but not all of them come from people who are well adjusted and not all of them will work; you need to experience life for yourself and learn what works for you, you need to become comfortable with the people who surround you and make friends and acquaintances, and you should learn the customs of the area you’re in so that you don’t stand out like a sore thumb. I personally think it’s very important to be up to par socially because being desired doesn’t always have to do with your beauty, your social skills greatly influence the way your peers will see you.

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

Speaking of BDSM, I’ve had about 4 young men fill out the screening form for my BDSM persona, claiming to all want sessions. They all ask for toilet services on their forms (they want to get peed or shitted on). The kicker is that they’ve all been under the age of 23.

Some young black men (I don’t know if this is true of other ethnicities) have some hardcore fantasies about being dominated and in the worst way. But of course, none of them are serious enough to follow through with the appointment. They can’t afford to anyway.

When I’ve ignored their emails, a few of them have even had the nerve to follow up by email and try to get a response. I sent one of them my CashApp, requesting the deposit knowing full well they wouldn’t send it and of course, they ghosted me.

But isn’t it fascinating how much these young men have such extremely degrading kinks??? These kinks are all probably just fantasies for them and given the opportunity, would probably not want to be shitted on in person. But with the way young black men shame one other about their lack of masculinity and talk down on young women in real life, you would never guess they’d be jacking off to videos of poop porn in private. 💩

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

Since I started learning more about BDSM, I’ve seen some traits of submissive people in myself. I’ve wondered a few times whether or not I used to have a humiliation kink but dismissed it. I think I really do… or, at least I did, when I was younger…

Humiliation kink is just getting erotic pleasure from being humiliated. When I was in my early twenties, I was infatuated with this guy who would treat me like sht. At one point, we somewhat drifted apart and he found another girl to abuse.

When he and I started talking again, he would tell me about the time he spent with the new girl and how wonderful she was. He was being cruel to me and purposely trying to make me jealous. But I would not stop listening to him talk about her. In fact, I think I asked him questions about her. The point is that I would endure this psychological abuse and not walk away when I should have.

And I remember doing this with other men before: asking them about other women they’d been with even though I was embarrassed and hurt to hear the details. It was as if I needed to know. I wanted to take as much pain as I could, hearing about these women that I believed were better than me.

Now that I’m working all this out in this post, I think the main difference between me and humiliation kinksters is that I don’t believe I was aroused by those feelings of embarrassment. This is the hallmark of a humiliation submissive: they get off on the embarrassment.

So, perhaps I don’t have a humiliation kink. But I did seem to enjoy the feeling of being belittled by men who dated women that I thought were superior to me. Wow.

The reason I even came to this conclusion is because I’m reading a book on BDSM. I’m on a psssage where the author talks about the reasons that submissives commonly give for enjoying humiliation. One of the most common answers they give for liking humiliation is: “To prove I can take it”.

Bro… this was me! This is why I would listen to men talk about their exes or girlfriends. I wanted to experience as much pain as they could give… to prove to myself that Ivcould handle it…?

Oh, man…

I think I still do this from time to time. Honestly, I don’t understand why but it’s scary and fcked up. I don’t like it but it’s certainly interesting.

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

I’ve been doing bicep curls with my weights at home and I think my arms are getting more toned. My friend told me the other day that she thought I was a professional athlete when we first met. I think she may have been flattering me a little bit but I do think that she put me in the athletic arena because my legs are a little toned as well.

I want to continue building up my arms. I love that track star look: skinny and cut. I’m going to continue doing my mini workouts on my legs at nights and picking up my weights during the day.

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

OF Boy hit me up for some more content yesterday. I didn’t have any prepared but pretended I did because I didn’t want to disappoint him. I made a masturbation video and sent it to him for a measly $10. 🙄

He messaged me about the video this morning and said he enjoyed it. He asked me what time of day I made the video and where I was so that he could think about what he was doing at the time I was masturbating. I liked that. He’s a thoughtful and imaginative guy. That makes him even more attractive to me.

He sent a dick pic as well. I’m actually not crazy about dick pics but I don’t mind seeing him. Men think we really get turned on by dick pics and that’s just not the case. Dick pics are just a nuisance. And also, ew. But I don’t have the guts to shut down his dick pics. He really thinks they’re doing something for me. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Ugh… He’s so fcking fine. He used to be a college athlete and has a side gig in youth sports. He gave me a look into what his weekend was like, overseeing a youth sporting event. Thinking about him dealing with teens and their parents presented him in a different light for me. He definitely has the intellect and temperament to deal with kids so he seems well-suited for that kind of project. He’s good at dealing with people and that turned me on.

OF Boy’s peen isn’t small but it’s not fat and long like Derrick’s. But he definitely has something to work with. Also, I have huge fibroids so I don’t need to be messing with a massive dong like Derrick’s anyway. I’m getting older and I need to face the fact that I can’t handle and shouldn’t be handling huge dicks anymore. Fck that pain.

Anyway… OF Boy is sexy… He’s taking too long to book me though. I mean, the rate for my main persona is not very high but I can see why he is taking his time to book.

sigh For now, all I can do is dream about him.