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renneiscent · 8 months

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— THE WAY I LOVED YOU

pairing: theodore nott x reader

summary: in which theodore nott will do anything to get you to go out with him, but you’re just as stubborn rejecting him

warnings: swearing, kissing, dangerous stunts and theo being stupid (ryan gosling in the notebook style), unedited since i wrote this in the middle of the night on no sleep again lol. enemies to lovers if you squint a bit

author’s note: since everyone loves theo i’ll pretend this isn’t just for my own selfish needs <3 (especially the notebook reference) also surprise surprise mc is a gryffindor as always, you’d never know i was a slytherin my bad guys… as always let me know what u think! enjoy, angels 💌

The first time Theodore Nott asks you out, you spill a pot of ink directly into his lap.

It’s not like you meant to do it. But when there’s a Transfiguration worksheet to be getting on with, the Slytherin boy seated next to you by Professor McGonagall asking you out would surely take anyone by surprise.

The second you twist in your seat to look at him in shock, your arm slides the pot right off the desk and directly onto his grey trousers, instantly staining them with the black liquid before you have a chance to speak.

Your hands fly to your mouth to stifle your gasp and you look up at him, anticipating an angry glare in return. Instead, he looks mildly surprised at the ever-growing stain on his crotch, but mostly… amused?

“A simple ‘no’ would have sufficed, darling,” he says, raising an eyebrow and suppressing a smile.

You begin stuttering out an apology and scrambling for your wand to wave away the stain before you can do something stupid like attempting to rub it off with your sleeve. Your cheeks instantly heat up at the humiliating image now plaguing your mind and you barely contain a sigh of relief when you realise the lesson has finished.

It’s a miracle your shoes haven’t left scuff marks on the ground in a cartoonish trail with the speed at which you leave the classroom. Godric knows why Theo Nott of all people wants to ask you out, but since it can’t possibly be for any good reason, you’d rather not think about it too much. This, however, isn’t helped by Hermione pestering you about why you look so flustered for the entire walk to the Charms classroom.

Twenty minutes later, her attention is finally diverted. On the other hand, it’s because she’s berating you for accidentally burning the end of her left eyebrow off with a charm gone wrong.

The second time Theo asks you out, there are thankfully no ink pots around.

“Hey,” he whispers from behind you, making you jump within an inch of your life despite his low volume. You swivel in your chair to glare at him, incredulous. Seeing that he’s startled you, Theo grins. “Sorry. What are you doing?”

“Baking a cake,” you deadpan, once your heart has started beating at a normal pace again. Holding up your Potions book, you feel the annoyance start to seep in when Theo continues looking at you, undeterred. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

Apparently unfazed by your sarcasm, he drags out the chair next to you and spins it around to sit on it backwards. Settling his arms on top of the backrest, Theo rests his chin on them to look at you. “You never did answer my question.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you mumble, eyes scanning the page in front of you but taking in nothing. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to study-”

“Are you going to make me ask you again?” he sighs. You panic a little at his bluntness and continue pretending to read, not knowing what else to do. Theo takes your silence as encouragement and shuffles his chair closer to your own. “Go out with me.”

The arrogance practically drips off his voice, and the pit of anxiety in your stomach immediately turns into irritation instead. “No,” you grit out, slamming your potions book shut to scowl at him. “And I don’t hear you asking anything.”

“Okay,” Theo says slowly, nodding as though he understands. It’s clear that he doesn’t though, because the next words out of his mouth have you stunned. “Please, oh please, will you do me the absolute greatest honour of going out with me?”

”Merlin,” you exhale, pinching the bridge of your nose. Dropping your hands into your lap, you see no solution other than gathering your things to return to the common room. “You’re having me on…”

“I can assure you, I’m not,” Theo says quickly, stopping you from leaving by gently grabbing your elbow. You stop in your movements to catch him looking more unsure than you’ve ever seen, and you’ve never been more perplexed. “I’m completely serious right now. Go out with me?”

“Wh- I don’t even-” you sigh, cutting your senseless muttering off to cross your arms over your textbook. “Whatever happened to a simple ‘no’ sufficing, darling? Aren’t there a million other girls for you to go and pester? Godric knows you’ve got an entourage following you half the- What are you looking at?”

Amazingly, Theo’s expression has lost all trace of vulnerability and now displays a slightly faraway look, his signature lazy grin in full effect. “Sorry, I didn’t hear a word after you called me ‘darling’.”

Resisting the urge to hit him over the head with your textbook, you take a deep breath and grasp the potential weapon tighter in your hands before speaking. “As hard as it is for me to believe that girls actually fall for this rubbish, your history with them shows that they do. Don’t think for a second, I’m going to let you use me like they do.”

Theo considers your words for a few seconds, mulling them over as carefully as though he’s trying to solve a brain teaser. Eventually, he seems to come to a satisfying conclusion, because he tucks his hands into the pockets of his trousers and tilts his head. “So you need me to prove I’m serious about this… and then you’ll say yes?”

“Oh, for the love of-” Huffing, you turn on your heal without saying another word and storm out of the library. Theo doesn’t follow you, allowing you to clear your head and think about the incredibly odd interaction.

You’re climbing through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room when you realise you never actually refuted Theo and his theory to make you go out with him. Whether or not it was on purpose, you can’t quite decide.

Over the next few weeks, you start wishing you had stopped Theo before he could start trying to prove himself to you.

You can’t go a single day without the question of going out with him popping up. Much to your bewilderment, it isn’t always him asking. Sometimes it’s his friends, sometimes it’s students at the Gryffindor table who are sick of the multiple owls every morning flocking to your table with a note in their beaks. Sometimes it’s even your friends.

“I mean, really,” Hermione says at breakfast, huffy as always when reprimanding someone. “It’d be benefiting everyone if you just went out with him. Why don’t you, anyway?”

“He’s a Slytherin,” Ron butts in, talking to Hermione as though he’s explaining something to a child. He takes a gigantic bite of his toast before speaking, his next words coming out muffled. “Surely that’s reason enough.”

“No, that isn’t reason enough,” Hermione says sternly, furrowing her brows. “A good reason would have been all the girls he’s always with. Of course, that’s flown out the window recently. He’s also never given them as much attention now that I think about it.”

“He’s definitely not the worst of the group either,” Harry adds, leaning in as nosily as Ron. “Not like we’re talking about Malfoy…”

“Don’t you two have Quidditch tactics to be discussing?” you snap, exhausted by the subject already. The two boys hold up their hands in surrender, before shuffling down the bench. Whether that’s to be closer to the Quidditch team, or to get away from you before you start throwing hexes - you aren’t certain.

The fact you’re awake early in the morning on a Saturday isn’t helping your sour mood, and the Quidditch match being between Gryffindor and Slytherin only adds to this.

“We’d better go and get a good seat at the front, so we aren’t on our tiptoes for the whole game like last time,” Hermione says, already sliding off the bench. You give your cup of coffee one last longing look before you allow yourself to be dragged away.

You haven’t even made it onto the Quidditch pitch before you’re already wishing for that cup of coffee to give you strength, because you find none other than Theo standing outside the Great Hall in his green and silver Quidditch robes.

As soon as he spots you, Theo plasters on that charming smile of his and opens his mouth, no doubt to ask you if you could talk privately.

Hermione interjects before he gets the chance. “Don’t bother, I’m leaving.” She simply sighs when you look at her, betrayed. “He’d have convinced you anyway! I’ll save you a seat.”

You watch her leave, helplessly before turning to Theo and crossing your arms. “Yes?”

“I have a proposition for you,” he says simply, getting to the point. The proposition has, without a doubt, got something to do with you and him and a trip to Hogsmeade, but you gesture for him to continue nonetheless. You can’t deny it’s been entertaining watching Theo come up with new ways to ask you out these past few weeks. “I’ll throw the match and let your lot win if you go out with me.”

This startles a laugh out of you, something between a chortle and a gasp. “Oh, you cheeky bastard,” you exclaim, but you can’t help grinning. That was quite possibly the last thing you expected him to say. “First of all, I think my lot is perfectly capable of winning on their own. And secondly… as funny as it would be, I’d rather not have your death and Malfoy’s subsequent imprisonment in Azkaban be on my conscience.”

You only realise just how wide your smile is when it starts to fade under Theo’s unwavering gaze. His lips twitch up into a smile and you immediately frown as an automatic response. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re bantering with me,” Theo says, grinning as though he’s extremely pleased with himself. You realise with a jolt, that yes you were bantering. “One step closer to agreeing to go out with me.”

“That’s not happening,” you protest, but it sounds fairly weak, even to you. “Like I keep telling you, I’m not going to be one of those girls.”

Theo shrugs. “And I think you already know you’re not one of those girls. It’s fine, I can wait.”

The relaxed manner in which he says this has you flabbergasted to say the least. Truthfully, you aren’t completely sure why you haven’t just agreed at this point. No one in the whole school is used to witnessing such extravagant displays from Theodore Nott, so you’ve accepted the fact you’re an outlier in this particular subject area. You’re starting to think Hermione’s right, and it’s pure stubbornness that’s keeping you going.

“You’ll be waiting a long time then,” you say, giving Theo a bland smile.

“Nah,” is all he says, the smile still gracing his unperturbed face. “Keep an eye out for me in the Quidditch stands.”

Theo winks at you before walking away in the direction of the pitch and you linger in the castle for a good few minutes before snapping out of it and walking in the same direction.

You find Hermione quickly at the front of the Gryffindor stand and you’re about to ask how long until the game starts when Lee Jordan’s voice begins to boom from the commentator stand.

“Strong start for Gryffindor with Katie Bell taking the Quaffle and- nope, Vaisey’s taken it and passed it onto Urquhart, his fellow Chaser and the new Slytherin captain.” You’re thankful for Lee’s commentary as it’s easy to follow and you probably wouldn’t have a clue if it weren’t for him. Surprisingly, he keeps it professional enough for a while. “Ginny Weasley tries to take the Quaffle after a near hit there to Urquhart, thanks to new Gryffindor Beater Jimmy Peakes and that very solid Bludger over there. Unfortunately, he missed-”

“JORDAN.”

“Sorry, Professor McGonagall, I meant fortunately. Slytherin Chaser Mattheo Riddle now has the Quaffle and seems to be aiming to score and- oops! He’s missed, thanks to Gryffindor Keeper Ron Weasley. Good on you, Weasley,” Lee says, unable to be impartial as shown by McGonagall’s glare. “As for the Slytherin Keeper, Nott seems to be distracted by something in the Gryffindor stands. Or should I say someone.”

Laughter echoes in every stand, much to your utter humiliation and some people even start whooping and cheering in your direction. Theo’s antics are common knowledge at this point, but it doesn’t make the laughter any less embarrassing. You try and maintain a shred of dignity by standing still and glaring as hard as you can at Theo. Horrifyingly, he starts to fly in your direction.

Lee looks at McGonagall before speaking, but she merely shrugs helplessly, looking flustered herself. “Er, well it seems Slytherin are open for Gryffindor to score. No one seems to be taking advantage, however, as I think I can speak for everyone when I say we want to know what’s going on with Nott and Y/N.”

Glancing at the others, you realise Lee is right and all the players are hovering in place, making no move to continue the game. They look partly confused, but mostly nosy.

Theo stops just outside the Gryffindor stand, his attention focused wholly on you. You raise both eyebrows in question, waiting for him to speak. “Go out with me.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t quite hear what Nott is saying, but I think we can all guess he’s asking her out again,” Lee says, causing a few more cheers and even a couple groans. “Take the hint, mate.”

“Theo, get back to the game!” you hiss, wrapping your arms around you as if it’ll shield you from everyone’s eyes. “You’re embarrassing m- What the fuck are you doing!”

Theo swings a leg over the side of his broomstick so that he’s sitting completely facing you, legs dangling dangerously off one side. Lee sits up a little in his booth and McGonagall looks positively horrified. “For unknown reasons, Nott is balancing precariously in a position no Quidditch player wants to- Merlin, he’s hanging off his broomstick!”

Everyone in the crowd screams and shouts when Theo slips off his broomstick, but they quieten down and watch with fright when they see he’s still holding on with both hands. You think you’re going to faint.

“Theo,” you plead, with the same voice you’d use to coax a bloody kitten out of a tree. “Get back on your broomstick. Please.”

“Only if you go out with me,” Theo says, eyes determined despite breathing a little heavier. The broomstick is thin and despite his strength, it’d be hard for anyone to maintain a grip for long. “Say you’ll go out with me and I’ll get back on.”

“Just say it!” Hermione grabs you by the shoulder to shake you.

Professor McGonagall seems to have shaken out of her previous daze and begins scrambling around for her wand while Lee narrows his eyes to better assess the situation. “Godric, Y/N. Just say ‘yes’ and end everyone’s misery already.”

“But…” you trail off, hands shaking as you keep your eyes on Theo’s white knuckles still gripping the broom. “I don’t want to encourage this stupid behaviour.”

Theo rolls his eyes as though he can’t believe you’re still objecting. He shakes his head at you, though his chest is shaking with laughter. “Go out with me, and I swear I’ll never do anything stupid again. Fucking hell, I’ll quit Quidditch altogether if you want.”

You open your mouth to say something, you’re not sure what, but before you can get a word out, Seamus Finnigan pipes up from beside you. “Personally, I say let him fall off the bloody thing.”

Tutting, you turn to Theo just to find the idiot raising an eyebrow challengingly. His left hand begins to loosen on the broomstick, deliberately.

“Theo, don’t you dare.”

He drops his left hand completely and you scream, the noise drowned out by everyone else’s yells.

“OKAY!” you yelp, heart in throat as you watch Theo dangling from his broomstick with one hand, clearly struggling. “Okay, I’ll go out with you, you stubborn idiot!”

The Gryffindors that hear you, begin to cheer, setting off the other houses and once McGonagall sees Theo begin to pull himself up on his broomstick, she visibly relaxes, slumping in her seat as she clutches her chest. Lee soon gets the message. “Finally, after a good month of watching Nott pine pathetically, Y/N has agreed to go out with the poor bast- Er, beggar. Sorry, Professor. By the way Nott, you’ve got detention for a week.”

Now sitting normally on his broomstick, Theo grins at you like the cheeky bastard that he is, with elation clear as day on his face. You struggle to fight off your own grin and you can tell by his expression you’re not doing a very good job at it. “Pull something like that again and I’ll push you off your broomstick myself,” you warn him, though it lacks any real threat. You were more worried than angry, and it definitely shows. “Okay?”

“No more stupid behaviour,” Theo promises, sounding sincere as he nods, messy hair falling into his eyes. The wind blows it out of the way almost immediately and you find yourself wanting to do it with your fingers. “After this, though.”

You furrow your brows as Theo flies close enough to the Gryffindor stand to get off his broomstick and hop right into the crowd, landing next to you. Broomstick in hand, Theo doesn’t take his eyes off you when he holds it out to Hermione. “If you don’t mind, Granger.”

Clearly baffled, Hermione gingerly takes the broomstick from him and watches the two of you, as enraptured as the rest of the school.

You face Theo properly, looking up at his eyes to see them glittering with pride and achievement. You tilt your head in question, wondering why he hasn’t yet returned to the game.

Theo answers you by gripping your waist to pull you into a stupidly dramatic, dizzying, wonderful kiss. His lips are soft against your own and cold from the wind, but the shiver that runs down your spine has nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with the way Theo is pressed against you.

You could go on forever, but the cheers and claps and hollering around you remind you that you’re surrounded by all your peers and, Godric, your teachers.

Pulling away, you clear your throat and attempt to gain back some of your dignity by keeping a serious face. Theo attempts nothing of the sort as he’s still wearing a silly grin. You try and avoid his eyes for the sake of your nerves and you mutter the first thing that comes to mind. “Erm, good luck then. I hope you win.”

This is the wrong thing to say surrounded by your fellow Gryffindors as a few of them boo at you.

Theo rolls his eyes at the dramatics, while you simply scowl, pointedly at Seamus who seems to have boo’ed the loudest. Hermione is beaming at you when she hands Theo back his broomstick, though she also gives a little frown directed at Seamus.

Getting back on his broomstick, Theo hovers near you outside the stand. You lower your voice to a whisper that only he can hear. “I still hope you win.”

Theo shrugs, looking more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him during a Quidditch game. “I’ve already won, darling.”

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renneiscent · 10 months

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Two Sides of The Same Coin

Note: Just little explanation before we are going to action part. I made up some stuff and it somehow doesn’t make any sense in my head, but we love artistic liberty, don’t we?

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Chapter 9: Dot the i’s and cross the t’s

I’ve been awake since 5 in the morning. I’m still amazed about the fact that I can wake up without the help of annoying sound from my alarm clock. It’s either because my body already make the pattern for me waking up every weekdays or because Jake is sleeping in my place and I didn’t want to bother him with my annoying alarm.

Weirdly enough, I did already clean up my flat, wash and dry my clothes and Jake’s, take a shower, and brew some coffee which is I only managed to finish all of those tasks inside my head. What an improvement. I kind of wonder what motivates me to be so this diligent in the morning which is once in a blue moon kind of event that rarely happens in my life before.

“Mmh,” Jake moves a little.

Yeah, this is what motivates me.

It is already half past 8 and I’ve been sitting and staring at Jake who is lying in front of me for like an hour, he is sleeping on his stomach with both of his arms are wrapping and embracing beneath my favourite pillow. His massive figure is invaded whole side of my bed but I don’t complain, while his face is so peaceful and it lures me to take dozen pictures of him sleeping like that. But I didn’t do it. Instead, I’m watching every feature on his face, caressing his hair, stroking his spine, keeping all of these moments in the folder that named ‘Precious Treasure’ inside my brain.

“MC,” he calls me. Half-asleep. With both of his eyes still close.

“Jake,” I call his name too. Smile shyly. Blush a little. Hearing his deep and husky voice calling my name first thing in the morning when he’s half-awake make my heart skips a beat.

He rolls onto his back and slowly gets up. While sitting down, he rubs his eyes with the back of his fist and stretch up his arms. I hold my breath. “Good morning,” his sleepy smile greets me.

God, he is so adorable but also hot. How can someone be so contradictorily attractive like this?

“Good morning.” I smile widely, still enjoying the view in front of me.

“What time is it?” he asks, blinking several times before looking at me.

“Almost 8,” I choose to sit beside him and ruffle his fluffy morning hair. “You slept like a baby so I didn’t want to wake you up,” I explain which is true because Jake slept so deeply and peacefully as if he is a born baby that just come out from womb and rest on his mother’s arms. You clearly don’t want to bother that baby, do you?

“I see,” he nods in approval. “I have never slept that well in years,” he explains softly.

“How does it feel?”

“Feels like home.”

I blush. Try so hard to ease my ego that boost up because of his words, try so damn hard to calm my heart that almost exploded because of the soft smile that forms on his face or even his alluring gaze that makes me hold my breath again. “It’s not fair,” I quickly change the subject, try to not stutter. “You slept whole morning even though I did almost all of the work last night.”

He chuckles. “You little… come here.” Then he reaches my wrist and pulls me closer, brings me to his bare chest and embraces me tight.

I rest my head on the crook of his neck with my arms around his back, tracing onto his skin. The scent of him that is filling me makes me serene as I close my eyes and feel the warmth of him that invades me. He is truly my home.

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

And my home, my comfortable and safe home, just remind me that I have work to do which now in 10 minutes it will be 8 and I’m still here… in my bath gown, clutching onto his toned body for expecting more warmth, feeling nothing but staying here for all day. “I am,” I sigh; not wanting to move for an inch in hoping that Jake won’t pull away, which is, annoyingly he did.

“But?” he looks at me; patiently waiting why I am still here in the need of cuddling him, rather than being drowned with pile up of articles that I need to read and edit.

“But.” I exhale sharply. But I don’t want to when I finally have you in my arms, on my bed, inside my place, after years. I have been waiting for this moment and it’s finally happening. But then I have to give up this domestic-adorable-moment-first-morning-after-sleeping-together kind of troupe because we are living in the capitalism world and we are separated because I need to pay my bills. “But I’m afraid you won’t have breakfast. Go take shower, I already prepared new toothbrush. The red one. And your clean clothes on top of the coffee table. I will get change soon.”

I immediately go to the small room which I crafted to be my dressing room where I put my clothes and shoes and bags. Luckily, I already prepared my outfits for today so I don’t have to waste more time. But I still stand still, watching my figure in the reflection that is now wrapped in only bra and panties. I really don’t want to work today.

So instead of wearing linen shirt and a pair of paper-bag trousers that I already prepared, I’m wearing my oversized shirt and short pants. I quickly grab my phone from my purse and start typing a lie, an excuse, a deceit, a fraud. After all, it’s my first absence after working in Racounter for year and half. It won’t cause pretty big harm in the environment. I hope.

“You are not going to work?”

My eyes shift from my phone screen to Jake who is now standing across me, with damp hair and unfortunately clothes on. I bite my lower lip nervously, avert my gaze from him, “I’m not in the mood for working.”

He walks slowly toward me then put his big hand against my forehead, I flush. “Are you okay?”

I look up to stare at him, feeling his figure that towering over me invaded me and I feel nothing but safe. I nod my head slightly, still enjoying the warmth that he delivers through his palm. “I’m good,” I say it again, feeling like Jake didn’t quite catch my nod.

His hand is still there, on my forehead, while he is making that ‘you look okay but I still want to make sure’ kind of face. “Really?” he lifts one brow.

“Yup. Really.”

His hand then moves from my forehead then to the back side of my head, stroking my hair gently. He is staring at me for a while before plant a peck on my forehead. “Good,” he says in completely relief tone. “I thought I hurt you somehow.”

“Why did you think that?” I laugh, slipping my arm on his arm and clutching onto him.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “I thought I was kind of rough last night.”

My heart beats even faster and my cheeks are warm all of sudden, until at first I believe I’m really sick and not just faking it. But of course no, it’s just my body reaction that suddenly remembers about what happened last night. And to answer that, no… Jake is far away from rough. He is such a gentle and good and sweet, he is very far away from that as if it’s such an impossible seeing the word of rough and Jake is next to each other. “No, not at all.” I release my arm from him and make him coffee. “You were such a gentleman, which is I’m surprised after hearing the last time you did it was… 10?”

He nods, taking the coffee that I already poured into his mug. He takes a sip before answer me, “10 years, yeah.”

“Right. After hearing that, no doubt that I was kind of terrified since it’s such a pretty long time,” I sip my own coffee, recalling the small talk between thrust from last night. “I thought that I need to handle a wild beast.”

He chuckles, “you little—”

“But apart from that, you did really hurt me though.”

His smile faints, studying my expression if I was joking or being serious. “MC—”

“Jake,” I put away my coffee. “Can we talk about the reason why you left me?”

There is silence between us, his expression is quite unreadable and the mug around his grips looks like it can scream; asking for help to be released from his fist. “MC.” He stands up from the dining chair and walks toward me; closing the gap and once again, invading my personal space which is I never hate it when it comes from him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. What can I do to make it better, to make you better?” he takes my hand and put it between his big and warm hands.

“Continue the conversation from yesterday,” I say calmly. “You promised me.”

He inhales deeply and exhales sharply; his shoulders drop as if there is this huge weigh fall down on him. “Of course,” he closes his eyes and rubs the back of his neck while another hand still holding me tightly. “You deserve it after all.”

I nod, waiting patiently for him to continue.

Jake opens his eyes and his gaze on me is like when my parents told me they are going to get divorce, or when my mom is going to marry again, or when my dad said he cannot go to my graduation. My body stiffens.

“Come here,” he pulls me gently to the sofa and makes me sit down next to him. “Okay, where should we start?”

“The day you left me,” I say. There is a sting inside my chest.

“The day I—” he swallows hard. “Okay.” He takes a deep breath, squeezing my hand not too hard and not too soft. “When I was in the mine, I barely managed to escape. The fire was too rapid and disastrous. The way-out seemed unattainable. I was in bad luck that day.”

I clench my jaw, squeeze his hand around me. I understand what he meant by ‘bad luck’ is. I have noticed, shit… I have noticed some scars on his back but I didn’t realise. “The scars on your back,” I whisper painfully. “I’m sorry… it should be me.”

“Hey.” His fingers brush my face, his warm smile hurts me. “Did you forget that I would never allow you to put yourself in danger? I have made the decision to protect you at any cost. Even if you were there with me, I would do anything to forbid you join me.”

“What would you do, if I was there and ruining you plan?”

“Hmm,” he leans on to the sofa with his gaze is still on me. “I probably instruct you to do something which not in any way related with the plan, but I insist that it’s important just to keep you safe.”

I chuckle, didn’t realise my eyes are teary and it makes me drop single tear brushes my cheek. He notices that and gently wipes it with his thumb. “Which is unlikely since you are annoyingly quite observant. You will know when I hide something, you always know.”

“That’s what you got me for,” I smile. “Then, how could you get out?”

“Just when I thought I ran out of luck, while I kept walking and trying to find way out, I found this secret passage that weirdly not showing up in my maps.” His voice sounds so far as his eyes are looking somewhere else, over my shoulder or something. I’m not quite sure. “I managed to get out, thankfully. But there was an agent that unfortunately there and he saw me when I was just trying to get out from the mine.”

He clenches his jaw, his body is tense, but his thumb on my wrist is still gently caressing. “We fought and I managed to take his gun. But my back ached because of the burn and I suffocated because of the smoke. I barely processed everything…” he trails off. “I thought I will not be able to see you again.”

I bite my lower lip, trying so hard to not burst any tears. “But you managed,” I say quietly, trying so hard to not choke. But my voice sounds weird and it feels like there is some gravel in my throat.

“But I managed,” he presses his lips against my forehead. “Hannes luckily there to save me, if it wasn’t because of him, I don’t know anymore.”

“Hannes?” I’m puzzled, never heard about that name before.

“The guy you saw in the restaurant,” he says. “Oh and you might see him in the motel as well.”

“Your mom’s friend?” I frown, still not getting any clear with this. “Wait, who did I see in the motel? I only saw Athena though.”

“Oh,” he smiles. “You didn’t realise. The receptionist yesterday was him. He keep praising himself about how he is good con-artist, he might be more arrogant after seeing your expression.”

“What? The motel from yesterday… is that his building too?”

He shakes head. “No, an old lady is running the building but he applied for the job there—just another part of the plan.”

“The restaurant, is that part of the plan too?”

“No, it’s really his family restaurant that he inherited.”

My mouth escapes a soft “oh” as I keep nodding with every explanation that Jake just said. It’s just the tip of iceberg that I want to dive inside Jake’s little secret. “Then, how could this Hannes found when you were in the mine?”

“When I was on my way to the mine, I told you that I have been on the run for four years. Remember?”

I nod.

“I lost everything in a single night. My home. My identity. Every single person in my life. There was nobody I could trust and I did not want to. I cut off my interaction with everyone that I know. But…” he clenches his jaw. “But that night when I was about to the mine, I was kind of scared with what will I face that time.” He scoffs, feeling humiliated with the fact that he also could feel fear. “Then I contacted Hannes, tell him everything in one message. Hannah’s story, our relation, and even my location… I was hoping if he could lend some hands.”

“Where was he before?”

“He was in the Canice Hill, on his way to Duskwood.” I cannot help myself but gasp, feeling surprised. He notices it and smiles. “I know. I also surprised. But then, apparently my mother told him about everything in her life when she was alive, especially the fact that he also know about Donfort’s family and the relation we have with them.”

“What did he have in Duskwood? Why did he go there?”

“He said that he always look for me since I was on the run. But he didn’t find any trace about me, so he changed his plan and went looking over Donfort family, which he found out that Hannah already missing for few days. He was kind of father figure in my life. He is always there. He taught me how to shave, talk to a girl, and assemble a simple computer. He taught everything about life, about everything.”

I bite inside of my cheeks, feeling complicated over the fact that Hannes is replacing Jake’s real father’s figure; the empty room that’s supposed to be filled by Mister Donfort, now it’s filled because of someone else. Frustration? Pity? Rage? I don’t know, but for now I’m thankful with Hannes’s figure in Jake’s life.

“I was lucky, because of him.” He strokes my hair gently.

I hum in approval; I need to send my gratitude to this old man. “Was it Hannes who took care of you all this time?”

“Yes.” He nods. “After that, he asked me to join him so we can have each other’s back. I owe him and don’t have any chance to repay it back yet, that’s why I choose to join until now.”

“Did he ask you to cut the contact with me too?”

“No,” he sighs. “It was me. I decided to do that because…” he opens his mouth but there is no word coming out there. He straightens his sitting position and his gaze occupies me. He wets his lips before continue to speak, “I was afraid, MC. I was scared to the death if I pull you into something that will harm you and I wasn’t capable to be there and take care of you. It drives me mad. You are always my priority. Your safety is what I’m wishing for and I will do anything if that means to keep you away from me. But I have realised now that I couldn’t do it. It feels like no matter how much I’m trying to evade, every road I take always lead me to you.” He rubs my hand and plays with my fingers; his gaze never escapes from me. “I’m really sorry. Tell me, what should I do for you to forgive me?”

Wow. My brain cannot even process about what kind of response that I should give to him since it’s not working properly anymore with the amount of sincerity Jake pour on his words. I have noticed that Jake is such an alpha male, the protective side of him and how he is way more relaxed when he is in charge of the situation, when everything is under his control. It’s on his DNA and he cannot help it. But I wonder did Hannes teach Jake how to speak with woman this good or is it just Jake’s pure talent?

“I always thought that you left because of my safety,” I say quietly as if I’m scared the wall will hear me. “But it’s a lie if I said it didn’t hurt. It just felt like it is unfair when I always put you into danger while I’m living my life blaming you while you are struggling like this. So, Jake… will you forgive me?”

His eyes sparkle and his shoulders weren’t tensed anymore as if the burdens there already disappeared. He smiles then lean closer, stealing a ton of light kisses from my lips. It makes me giggling till I need to cover his mouth with my hand. “How old are you actually?”

That’s too sudden, I know. I cannot help but asking. I know too little about him.

His brows furrow as he didn’t expect my question, but he still answer calmly. “Twenty-nine.”

My eyes widen, that’s unexpected. I never have any assumption about his age; is he younger, older, or same age with me? The thought of his age never cross in my mind. But hearing the exact number of how old is he still giving me confusion. “Wow. I’m still twenty-five.”

“Still?” he chuckles. “Why did you ask? Having problem being involved with older guy?”

What did he just say? I look at him, bewildered. “Did you mean that… we are dating?”

“I’m yours, aren’t I?”

I bite my lower lip, preventing myself to not smile from ear to ear. “Yup. You are attached with me, sir.”

He leans again and makes me laying my head on the armrest, kisses me, this time it’s more passionate. This is a great temptation, but I am trained to be great journalist, I need to hold it little longer. As I push Jake gently, breaking our kisses, I can see his expression is showing that he’s disappointed. How adorable. “I still have questions,” I grin.

“Okay.” He sighs, trying to sit in the good posture as he puts my legs on his lap.

“Is Jake your real name?” I poke his belly.

“Of course,” he draws circle on my thigh. “Is MC your real name?”

“Of course,” I chuckle. “Why did you give me your real name back then? Aren’t you supposed to hide your identity?”

“I felt bad to put you, the random stranger, into the bizarre situation of Hannah’s disappearance. Telling you my real name is what makes me feel better. And my name is really common, so I don’t mind about it.”

“Why Orion?” I ask, intrigued with the story behind it.

“I used to be alone all the time, that’s why pseudonym and such things, I don’t really need that. But now I’m joining Hannes, then I need to find something like code name. I was clueless. I really couldn’t come up with anything. Then Athena just joked around like, ‘why not Orion? He was great hunter and a beautiful constellation’ such things. All of them agree, I just follow the majority since I really couldn’t think about anything else.”

Knowing his code name is chosen by Athena makes me little bit jealous. How immature of me. “Yeah, the constellation is clear and so beautiful. But Orion himself wasn’t good person.” I shrug, talking as if I have known the Greek hunter for so long. “I have read somewhere that he had so many affairs.”

“Then I should change it,” he smiles. “Tell me when you have an idea in mind.”

“I never say you need to change it,” I frown.

“But you look you don’t like it either.”

My hands reach his shoulders and pull him closer to me, making him to be on top of me as he presses his body against me. He grins as I pull him then his lips trace my temple then to my neck, and to my collarbone. I can smell the scent of my floral shampoo through his hair, never I been grateful with that shampoo in my life.

“Jake,” I call his name between my heavy breaths.

“Hmm?” he hums, still busy giving mark on his land.

“The language that you used back then in the restaurant with Hannes,” I play with his hair. “Was it Deutsch?”

“Correct,” he smooches below my ear.

“So, you are German?”

“I am,” he smooches again.

“Can you say something to me in Deutsch?”

He looks up, staring at me who is now beaming full of hope. It takes short pause before he is smiling at me then pokes my nose with his finger. “Wenn ich trotzdem weiß, was Liebe ist, so ist es deinetwegen,” he says then lean closer to kiss my forehead. His voice is much richer and deeper from his usual voice. “Dich habe ich lieben können, dich allein unter den Frauen.” He sends a tiny peck to my nose. “Du kannst nicht ermessen, was das bedeutet.” He caresses my cheek as he looks at me. “Es bedeutet den Quell in einer Wüste, den blühenden Baum in einer Wildnis.” Then he lays his lips and kisses me deeply.

I have no idea what the hell Jake has said to me, I thought he will just say Ich liebe dich or another simple phrase that saying he loves me. But this whole level of paragraph that makes his eyes gleams and shines on me, it gives me a hundred shades of red colour over my skin.

I wrap my hands on his neck while his hand is slipping on my shirt and stroking my waist. The kiss is soft and gentle as if he wants to deliver his feeling to me and I gladly receive it. I have no idea about what he said earlier, but the way he expressed it already managed to grow spring inside me.

Just after I put my legs around Jake’s waist, I can hear the vibration across from us who are lying on the sofa. I guess it’s coming from Jake’s phone. I abruptly break the kiss and stroke his cheek. “I think it’s coming from your phone.”

“If you excuse me,” he says while he’s about to stand up from his position as I immediately let go off my arms and legs from him. After checking the screen, he immediately picks up the phone call. With his back is facing on me, he answer the phone call with short replies such as yes, okay, I know, I’ll be there, as if to make people who overhear couldn’t catch the thing they are talking.

I sit up while hugging my knees, my eyes not leaving him as I try to listen and observe him. I wonder what it is about. As the phone call is over, he put his phone inside his pocket then turns at me. He walks toward me and kneel down, making our eyes in the same level. “So it seems that I have some tasks to do. I have to leave.”

“May I know what is this about?” I try to find the answer from his eyes.

“Once the right time has come,” he stands up and kisses the top of my head. “I will write to you when I have the chance, okay?” he takes his stuffs and walk to the front door. His hand already pulls the door knob and opens it; but he still stands in the door frame, not walking away. “Okay?”

I give him my comforting smile, knowing he won’t leave without hearing my response gives me butterfly inside my belly. “Okay. Just be careful.”

“I will, love.”

And that’s how he left; leaving the empty space between my ribs, presenting me in absolute astonishment with the fact that Jake just called me with petname.

Wenn ich trotzdem weiß, was Liebe ist, so ist es deinetwegen. Dich habe ich lieben können, dich allein unter den Frauen. Du kannst nicht ermessen, was das bedeutet. Es bedeutet den Quell in einer Wüste, den blühenden Baum in einer Wildnis. If I still know what love is, it is because of you. I have been able to love you, you alone among women. You cannot fathom what that means. It means the spring in a desert, the blossoming tree in a wilderness.

Note: The German words that Jake said is poem from Hermann Hesse with little bit of change.

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