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reylei · 2 years
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Carole and Tuesday be singing for 1min is enough for me to cry out all the water in my body
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reylei · 2 years
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to do list :
- learn chapter 2~4
- finish to prepare presentation
- do exercise 6 and 10
what i did :
- 1h YT video about turtles
- 3 hours wandering on Twitch
- 2h staring at my wall
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reylei · 2 years
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the feminine urge to binge eat to cope with life
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reylei · 2 years
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you may love me
but never as much as my mother does
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reylei · 2 years
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me : okay, I’ll allow myself to play Stardew Valley until midnight
me at midnight : okay just one more day
me at 2am : i can’t control my own body anymore
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reylei · 3 years
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doubting yourself is tiring
i should stop doing that
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reylei · 3 years
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*at a doctor’s appointment*
Dr : Oh my, poor young lady you look completely asymmetrical !
Patient : And you look like a house keeper so what
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reylei · 3 years
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The Last of Us 2 is really a roller-coaster of emotions. And I am so grateful for it
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reylei · 3 years
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on the validity of recognizing emotions
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reylei · 3 years
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Excuse me, funny lighthearted comedy anime…. but what the fuck?
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reylei · 4 years
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God’s response :
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reylei · 4 years
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Life is unfair. We all know that.
So if you don’t have the genetics, the social status, the talent, or else, you are probably playing against the odd.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t win.
You can be the proof that the small 5%, even 1% can happen if you push and fight for it.
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reylei · 4 years
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I wish I was Chloe Burbank
and I am not talking about the person, but the album itself
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reylei · 4 years
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me: omg once i finish my finals this monday I am FINALLY going to play God of war
dad: no. Not God of war
me: why??
dad: because we’ll receive last of us 2 the same day
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reylei · 4 years
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I am someone who is into mental health and actively trying to be be a better person.
I listen to podcasts, watch youtube videos about productivity, mental health, how to handle your emotional mess, self-love, empathy and all that. 
And as I am trying to be someone better, I also want to inspire other people to take care of themselves. I want to share to them what I have learned, hoping that it can help them like it helped me.
But. Even though I try to do my best, even though I share what I have learned I feel bad. I feel useless. I feel like it leads to nothing. Because I can’t reach the person I want to inspire the most. My own sister.
My sister is 7 years younger than me. She is currently 15, in the middle of complicated phase of your life. When you are looking for yourself. But as you all know, with this social media age where we are all connected and where looks are so important, her 15 yo is different from mine. She puts on make up, wears crop tops, makes tik tok. A typical 2020 15 year old girl. And I am fine with that, society evolves and she is under an influence that I can’t take away from her. 
Sadly we don’t talk much. We are very close to each other, we laugh a lot together. But we don’t share deep feelings, or have philosophical conversations. We have never discussed about values and all that.
And just now, she told me that our parents are going to get mad at her. When I asked her why, she told me that our mother found cigarettes in her bedroom. She has already told me that she sells electronic cigarettes, and I told ther that I disapproved it, tried to to tell her to stop. But now she is also selling real ones too ? How can she be so unconscious ? That girl who doesn’t like seeing our father smoke sells cigarettes ?
I feel my heart heavy just thinking about it. How bad of a sister must I have been ? Me, who prone health and ethic, striving to be better and honest, I am just a hypocrite if I can’t even reach my own sister’s heart.  
I don’t know what to do. I have told her many times how sad I feel that we don’t talk much. Every time I tried to have some serious conversation, it always felt like she wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying (which gets on my nerves so much) and it discourages me. I lose my most sincere words when I am in front of her now. How did it turn this way?
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reylei · 4 years
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I don’t want to feel bad for not being enough.
But the human nature inside of me can’t help it. How many times do I have learn again and again that it’s okay to be this way? To be content with myself?
How many days are there left until I can find some peace of mind again?
Life is described as a straight line where you have to go forward. But it just feels like a circle.
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reylei · 4 years
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I love that the internet saw people comparing women and other alienated groups of people and went, “they’re dating,” and, “they support each other.” We’re improving as a society.
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