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shouto todoroki x fem.reader
shouto todoroki has been your best friend since your first year at UA, you’ve watched him blossom and grow as a person not under his family’s shadow. so why is it that neither of you can just admit your feelings for the other?
season six spoilers. manga spoilers. not everything will be accurate to either as this is a fic thank you <3
warnings: angst. mentions of death. violence. shouto being a dunce when it comes to love. frustratingly stupid idiots who are in fact in love with one another. drinking. anxiety attacks. vomit. ptsd flashbacks. everyone is in fact traumatized. brief mentions of sex, no actual smut though. a wee bit of drinking and driving, but don’t do that. it’s awful and bad.
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Those first few years after the war really affected and shaped everybody.
You remembered that first night, after the fighting was over and the sense of peace had returned. Every civilian was celebrating, and maybe you guys should have been too. After all you were just kids, you should all be happy that you kicked ass. None of you could do it though, instead, you all sat in the common room together. Everyone either bandaged, burned, or even just emotionally scarred. Aizawa sat in the room with you, and tried his best to find the right words to say.. He couldn’t though, he knew that everything you all just witnessed was something that couldn’t be washed away with a simple ‘you were heroes’ speech. Shouto was next to you on the floor, your shoulders touching. Neither of you had said anything, not since you first spotted him when the fighting was over.
“Where is Shouto?!” You were yelling at anyone you saw, any classmate. Kaminari was trying to hold you down, you were pretty banged up and the medics were certain you had a broken ankle.
None of that mattered to you though, because you didn’t know where he was. You saw Bakugo, and that was all you needed for your panic to start. The last you heard, Shouto was fighting Dabi, he was fighting his brother. You kept shoving past people, your ankle throbbing. Kaminari was calling after you, trying his best to get you to stop, to slow down. He even threatened to shock you a few times. They were empty threats of course, and he knew it was no use. Sero eventually joined Kaminari and kept threatening to tape you up. It wasn’t until there was ice bursting one of the medic tents open that they both realized they needed to just let you go.
Todoroki came out of the tent, at least three medics trying to stop him and pull him back saying that he was suffering from extreme exhaustion and that any intense activity could make him unstable. He just kept saying he needed to find her, throwing them off of him. Finally, after following the ice, you spotted him and he spotted you. Both of you stood still for a second, looking each other over to asses the damage done to the other. The voices and sounds around you muffled out as you stared up at the taller teen. His two-toned hair was disheveled, and an honest mess for once. There was something else though that was different, Shouto Todoroki’s eyes were filling with tears.
Without a care in the world about the fact your ankle was now sending searing pain up your entire leg, you took off in a hobbled run towards him. He did the same towards you, except he was much quicker and his strides were longer. When you two finally met in the middle you were being lifted off the ground as you sobbed into neck. Todoroki lost his balance but caught himself as he finally just sat on the ground with you wrapped around him. Anyone who knew Todoroki knew that this much affection, this much touching, went outside of any comfort zone he had. He didn’t care though, because he was holding you.
From the moment the fighting ended, the moment he saw how many heroes had fallen, all he could think about was getting to you. He was trying to find you when the medics finally caught him and tried to force him to relax. He was trying to be calm and rational, after all he knew his body and it was spent. Still though there was something that was keeping him going as he saw classmates being carried in on stretchers.. He needed to make sure that you were okay. So as you sat on the ground with him, and pried you away to look you over. He was gentle as he tried to assess the damage that had happened to you. Finally you winced when he touched your leg and his eyebrows furrowed. He stared at you intensely, like he was trying to read your mind as to what was wrong.
“I think my ankle is broken.” You whispered, finally noticing how close your face was to your best friend/long time crush’s face. He let out a distressed ‘tch’ sound before he looked up at the medics that were still standing around you both, he instructed them to take care of you first. They took you both back to a tent (one that wasn’t filled with ice) and started to treat you. Todoroki refused to leave your side after that moment.
After Aizawa finally did it in himself to give a speech about how he was damn proud that you were his students, nothing about how well you all fought, or what to do next. Just that he was proud of you all, you all knew it was his way of telling you he loved you guys. After awhile of sitting there, you all decided that you were going to just camp out. Sato offered to bake for everybody, Kaminari and Jirou suggested they played music for everyone, Momo even conjured up a projector screen to all watch movies on. Everyone went to their dorms, to collect any and every pillow or blanket you all owned. Todoroki followed you to your dorm, because you owned more blankets than anybody there really.
“I can carry more,” You suggested as you put another blanket in Shouto’s outstretched arms. There was a crash from down the hall, someone dropping something, and you lurched forward ready to fight all over again. Shouto dropped the blankets, and grabbed your now shaking hands, “I.. I..”
“I know,” He held your hands and stared down at them. The difference in temperature in both of his hands soothing you and bringing you back down to Earth, “Seems a little morbid to go and have a movie night as if we didn’t just fight a brutal war, huh?”
“G-glad you finally understand what doesn’t seem normal socially,” You teased, a small chuckle leaving his lips before he met your eyes again, “I was so scared that I was going to lose yo.. Lose anybody, the entire time I was fighting,”
He noticed that you almost said “you”, but he thought of it has just a misuse of words due to your current stress. That was when he finally realized that he was fighting for you. Especially when Dabi mentioned that Shouto had a weak spot, that weak spot was you. Dabi caught sight of it after his big reveal, when you were standing down below with Midoriya and staring in shock. When you rushed to his aid after Dabi originally tried to kill him. You were Shouto Todoroki’s weak point, because he.. He felt different for than he did for anyone else. He just didn’t know how to articulate that into words. He wanted to so badly, but he didn’t know what it was he wanted to say.
“Hey dudes, whoah, whoops, sorry,” Kirishima was at your door, and noticed Todoroki holding your hands. You both instantly pulled away from one another and looked at him, “We were wondering if you could bring down your beanbag chairs too?”
“Oh, yeah of course,” You smiled at him, “Mind helping us?
Kirishima helped you both collect the beanbag chairs, and the blankets. Both you and Shouto still awkward over the entire moment. Everyone in class found their spots on the floor, and again you were right next to Todoroki. You all watched kids movies that night, not wanting to watch the usual action movies that the boys would typically pick on these nights before. Aizawa and Eri had joined you all though, so Eri wasn’t complaining at all as she took turns sitting with everyone and hugging them all. Eventually, you all stopped fighting it and let yourselves find sleep. For two weeks, that’s how you would all sleep, together on the floor like that. That way if someone had a nightmare, there was always someone there to help them.
five years later.
Even after everything that happened with All for One, there were still villains that existed in the world. So most of you continued on to continue to becoming Pro-Heroes. There were a few that chose different routes, like you. You were still a hero, you were still a pro, but you were also one of many young advocates to reshape the Hero Commission and hero society. Hawks was the new leader of it, begrudgingly so, but you worked close underneath of him. Slowly but surely rebuilding the civilian trust in heroes. Midoriya was also at the forefront of this, demanding that things needed to be better. That some villains deserved that same outreaching hand. Seemingly enough, it was working. When a villain was caught, they were given the option of jail or a reform program and a mentor. Most chose the reform options. With the help of Shinsou, you both worked towards making sure that stigmatization of what “good” and “bad” quirks were, was brought down. Starting with UA, where you both made sure that the students were given the option of which courses they took.
Shouto had started working for his dad, which shocked plenty of you. His siblings especially. Endeavor was working towards retirement though, so soon enough the agency would be Shouto’s own. Rei Todoroki had been released from the hospital, and Shouto had helped her get a nice apartment set up. Shouto and his siblings would often go and have dinner with her at least three times a week, and eventually you started to go to at least once a week. Rei loved getting to meet the friends that helped her son see not all people were bad. Plus she also just thought you were the perfect match for her baby, but she wouldn’t say it out loud to either of you.. Mostly just to Fuyumi or Natsuo while she watched Shouto watch you.
This weeks dinner you were attending, was before you and Shouto were supposed to attend Mina’s birthday party. You both just brought clothes to get ready at Rei’s apartment after dinner, seeing as neither one of you usually dressed in party clothing to go to family dinner. It was particularly hot that week, and Mina’s birthday was at an outdoor venue, so you opted in for a baby pink sundress. As you were finishing up getting ready, Rei knocked on her bedroom door and stepped inside.
“Oh don’t you look gorgeous,” She smiled softly, you noticed that she was very soft spoken still, and that when Shouto used that voice you could see their resemblance even more, “Shouto is wearing a pink dress shirt, are you two meant to be matching?”
“Hm? Oh no, our friend is well.. She’s pink,” You laughed a little trying to find the way to describe it, “So every year she demands that we wear pink to match her,”
“Oh, I thought maybe you two finally breached that whole just friends gap,” Rei’s words instantly made a blush creep onto your face as you stumbled trying to find a way to deny it, “Honey, just because I was trapped in a loveless marriage, doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to tell when two people are in love,”
“No, no, Shouto just sees me as a friend, that’s all we’ve ever been really,” You smiled sadly, you had thought maybe after the war that things were changing between you two, and they did, but not in that way. Instead it seemed you had been buried even further into the friendzone.
“I’ve never seen someone look at somebody the way my son looks at you, and truthfully believed that they were merely friends,” Rei was folding up your discarded clothes for you, “Shouto, he struggles with emotions, we’ve talked about it and it’s something he still works on, if I had to guess he doesn’t know how to read you, so perhaps you should just lay it all out on the table for him?”
You blinked a few times, trying to process getting dating advice from the mother of the guy you were in love with, “I.. I have considered it, but I’m scared that it would, well that it would ruin everything,”
“I still think that you should try.” Rei held out your repacked bag for you, and walked with you back out to join the others. Fuyumi squealed when she saw you, and started gushing about how pretty you looked. You didn’t even notice Natsuo nudging his baby brother, who’s eyes were trained on you. The two of you said your goodbyes and you both walked down to Shouto’s car. At first the ride was silent, just the occasional small talk about dinner.
“My family really likes when you come around, you’re usually the reprieve before we have dinner with our father,” Shouto’s eyes were on the road still, and you glanced towards him.
“How are things? Between Endeavor and Rei?” You approached the topic gently, knowing it was still a sensitive subject for them all.
“They’re, amicable, he tries his best to make up for what he did to her but it’s..” He trailed off for a second, his hands clenching the steering wheel tighter, “It’s not an easy to forget situation so it’s hard, for everyone,”
“And.. Touya? How is he doing?” You two really never spoke about his brother. You knew that Eri had been able to reverse his own damage he had done to himself.. Physically at least. Mentally he was in the same kind of facility that Rei was in. She went to visit him often, and as of lately he invited Natsuo from what you understood. Touya was trying his best to put Dabi to rest, to set him aside and get better, but it was a hard thing to do. Any mention of Endeavor would send him into a spiral, and to him Shouto was still just an extension of their father.
“Better, he.. He asked if Fuyumi could come with them next week, and told our mom he was ready to see um pictures of me,” Shouto’s voice was strained as he forced himself to talk about it. You reached over and gently put a hand on his shoulder.
“We don’t have to talk about this now,” Your voice was gentle, and you watched his shoulders relax a little at your touch, “We do need to talk about how every magazine is going to have a picture of you in this shirt plastered on it though,”
Shouto cracked a small smile and glanced over at you, “They would be stupid to do so as if you don’t like you do in that dress,”
Your cheeks were red again and you smiled at him, “Was that a compliment?”
“Of course it was,” Shouto sounded offended that you even had to question it, finally the blunt side came out, “You look beautiful.”
Thanks to the flow of the overhead streetlights, you were almost certain you saw him blush too. When you arrived at the venue for Mina’s party, the paparazzi were already lined up outside near the valet. It wasn’t uncommon for there to be this much press at events that your class was at, after all you had all been semi-famous since you were fifteen. Shouto passed the keys off to the valet person and rushed to your door to help you out. You both started making your way inside as you were being bombarded with questions, the typical ones for the gossip columns. Once you were inside you were both led out to the deck where your friends were.
“Ah! You’re here!” Mina rushed forward and hugged you first, both of you squealing as you squeezed each other in a tight hug. Kyouka and Ochaco were not far behind to hug you when Mina finally split away to give Shouto a hug. Sero whisked Shouto away, and you were left with the girls to talk and catch up on a few things. Mostly them bombarding you about whether or not you and Shouto were finally anything to talk about.
“I don’t understand, you two have an apartment together, and there’s been no steamy make out session or anything?” Ochaco asked as she handed you the drink you had ordered from the bartender, “Have you considered maybe you need to make the first move?”
“I’ve tried dropping hints for years you guys,” You sighed, “Maybe he really just doesn’t feel the same,”
“Well I know someone who does,” Jirou shrugged and the three of you glanced at her, “Denki was telling me just the other night that Shinsou had a thing for you,”
“Hitoshi?” You tilted your head, “No, no we just work together,”
“According to my idiot, Shinsou is definitely into you, just doesn’t act it cause well you know everyone’s always assumed you were off limits,” Jirou explained, and you felt unbelievably nervous about it. Shinsou was attractive, there was some mild flirting when you worked together, but you had never seen it like that.
“Maybe you should take a little more interest in Shinsou then, I mean he is here tonight?” Mina suggested, “Oh you could totally see if Todoroki got jealous!”
“Mina, I don’t think it’s fair to either of them if she uses Shinsou to get Todoroki’s attention,” Ochaco pointed out and you nodded in agreement.
“Maybe I just need to man up and just talk to Shouto finally,” You stared over at him talking to Midoriya and some of the other boys, “I’m definitely going to need a few more drinks before I do.”
Mina had no hesitation in ordering shots for everybody in attendance, and soon enough all of the guests there were feeling a little more comfortable. The dance floor in the middle of the room was filling up with more people, you were with the girls and dancing, and probably drinking more than you should have. It wasn’t until you spotted Shouto at the bar that you finally broke away. You walked up and stood beside him as he waited for his drink, and unashamedly stared up at him taking in his features. It was incredibly annoying how as he got older, he just became that much more beautiful. He finally glanced down at you with a smile, and told the bartender to make you a drink too. Your heart fluttered a little that he knew what you would like.
“Are you having fun?” Shouto turned so his back was leaning against the bar, and he used his elbows for support. You had to stop yourself from staring at his arms, then his chest, and finally you went back to the eye contact he was still trying to hold.
“Yeah, it’s nice seeing all of us in one spot again,” You grabbed your drink that the bartender dropped off, “What about you?”
“I agree,” Shouto took a drink, “There’s a private lake that we can walk out to, do you want to come with me? Need a break,”
“Yeah, yeah of course,” You nodded and grabbed your drink. You tried your hardest to ignore the winks of your best friends as you walk down the steps with Shouto.
There were lanterns lighting the path out to the lake, and the slight breeze made the warm summer air cool down a lot more. Maybe it was the fact you were walking on Shouto’s ride side though. A pit of anxiety was in your stomach at how romantic the entire scene seemed to be, because what would be a better moment to confess to your best friend that you loved him? You both walked out on the dock, and sat down off the edge. Both of you took your shoes off and let your feet skim above the water. Shouto took a deep breath and looked up at the stars, you stared at him for a second before chugging the rest of your drink.
“The sky is always so much clearer outside of the city,” Shouto mumbled as he stared up at the stars, “They’re even clearer out here than they were at-”
“I think I’m in love with you,” You blurted out, and a heavy tension settled between you both. Shouto’s head stayed tilted towards the stars for a moment, like he was frozen in place, “Well, no, not I think, more like I am, I have been, for a really long time now, and I think that maybe you know this could well, it could be mutual?”
His head dropped down and he looked out at the water this time, still not looking at you. Shouto wasn’t saying anything, and for the first time that was really starting to freak you out. He was usually stoic, and hard to read for other people. Never for you though, you could read him like a book that you knew every word of. You kept your eyes on him, trying your hardest to just keep your cool.
“I get that you know that wasn’t the most calm way to go about that, especially blurting it out here and now, but Sho I want to be with you,” You reached your hand out to touch his arm, and for the first time in five years, he flinched away from you. Panic started to settle in as you started to conclude that he didn’t feel the same. He didn’t want you in that way.
“Oh, oh my gosh,” You stood up and grabbed your shoes, running your hand through your hair. Shouto finally seemed to snap out of it, and he stood up to look at you. The only hint of emotion was the confusion in his eyes, “Fuck that was so stupid of me, I know that it was, I shouldn’t have even said that, I mean I’ve been drinking, and you have been drinking and that was all just a mistake,”
“Are you leaving?” Shouto finally spoke, as he watched you put your sandals back on.
“Yeah, before I say anything else that’s stupid that I will regret tomorrow,”
“You regret saying it?” Shouto’s voice was monotone as he looked down at you. You tried to find any sign that you should say no, but from the looks of it he didn’t want that. He didn’t want you. It was as if you were sinking into a hole, a hole that meant no more Shouto. You needed to claw your way out of it.
“Yes,” You answered, hoping that was your ladder. Your ladder to get out of that hole, “Yes I do, I should get back, um, I’m sorry for all of that.”
You were practically running up the path before he could say another word. When you got closer to the deck, you made your way back to the bar and ordered a few more shots. After your third one the pain in your chest was dull, and you were starting to feel a little better. Shouto had made his way back on the deck, and seemed to be looking around. You wanted to duck and hide, but instead you found coverage elsewhere. In Shinsou.
“Hey,” You smiled at him after you rushed over to the table he was standing at with a few other people, “So, a certain purple birdy told me that you’ve been talking to a yellow bird about me?”
Shinsou choked on his drink a little, coughing before looked down at you, “Perhaps, I’ve been talking to some annoying yellow birds,”
“You should know that the yellow bird can not keep secrets to save his life,” Shinsou laughed before he leaned in a little more towards you.
“Maybe I didn’t want him to keep the secret?” He whispered, and you flushed a little red. Your head was somewhat spinning, maybe from the drinks, but you were going to convince yourself that it was because of Shinsou.
You were too far drunk to feel the immense guilt at using him for a distraction from Shouto. You were also too far drunk to notice Shouto standing back and watching as the two of you flirted. Sometime after Mina’s cake, you and Shinsou made a quiet and swift exit to his car. Then you made it to his apartment, where you briefly remembered drinking more with him when you got there. Those were all in fragments though, patches that needed to be filled.
When you woke up in his bed the next morning though, hungover and guilt ridden, you rushed to the bathroom to throw up. Shinsou came into his bathroom and grimaced at the sight of you, but tied your hair back for you anyways. You were coughing above the toilet, too scared to make eye contact with him.
“Oh fuck, did we..?” You mumbled, your head now pounding.
“No,” Shinsou reassured you, “You were way too drunk, and eventually started crying because you um.. Well you told me everything about Todoroki,”
You groaned and felt like you needed to throw up again, “Shit, I’m so so sorry Hitoshi, I wouldn’t blame you if you were pissed at me right now,”
“Pissed at you for what?” Shinsou sat down on the floor next to the toilet, “When I told Kaminari about my attraction to you, we both agreed and knew who you had your eyes on, everyone’s known it for a really long time,”
You teared up and took the mouth wash he had out for you, and swished it around before spitting it in the toilet. You flushed down all of it and leaned back against the bathtub with Shinsou, “I can’t believe I screwed that all up,”
“Maybe it’s still salvageable, so why don’t we get you some breakfast and I can drive you home?” Shinsou suggested, “You have to face him sooner than later, so why not get it over with?”
“You promise you don’t hate me?” You muttered, and Shinsou wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you against his side.
“I promise, now c’mon, let’s go before you throw up in my bathroom again.”
After breakfast, Shinsou dropped you off at your apartment building. You found yourself hoping that the elevator would get stuck, or maybe even crash. Luck wasn’t on your side though, so instead you just made your way down the hall. You stood outside of your door for a second before finally realizing you had left your phone and keys in Shouto’s car the night before. After muttering a string of cuss words, you finally knocked on the door a few times. Trying to prepare yourself from the look on his face at your current state of holding your dress from last night in one hand, while wearing Shinsou’s shirt and basketball shorts. You tried to prepare yourself for any possible outcome.
What you weren’t expecting though was some perky girl to open the door, wearing one of Shotou’s shirts.
“Oh? I’m sorry, can I help you?” She smiled, “Shouto’s not here right now, he left for patrol,”
You were too far into shock to even say anything. Instead you pushed past her and she followed after you claiming that you shouldn’t do that. You pointed to a picture of yourself, and the girls on the wall. The girl looked at it and then back out you before gasping.
“Oh! I know you! You’re Shouto’s best friend, I’ve read all about you on the news pages,” Her voice was so sickly sweet, “I didn’t realize you two lived together, he didn’t mention that he had a girlfriend last night,”
Your stomach churned at the thought of them together. Finally you looked around the apartment and noticed her dress tossed on the couch.
Before you knew it, the girl was now wearing Shouto’s shirt and your breakfast. She started screaming, and you rubbed your temples as you walked away to grab the cleaning the supplies from the bathroom closet. When you came out, Shouto’s now puke covered shirt was laying on the ground and the girl’s dress was gone. You started to scrub the spot on the floor where your vomit had landed, and then picked up the shirt and threw it in the washer.
After you were done cleaning up your mess, you were like a zombie as you went around and scrubbed any surface that she might’ve touched. That he might’ve touched her on. You stared at the couch, and contemplated making Kirishima come and remove it from the apartment for you. The longer you stared at the couch though, the harder it was to not let your emotions get the better of you. Not even thinking, you went into Shouto’s bedroom to use his bathroom. His shower was better than yours, so the two of you usually just shared it. On his usually made, unmade bed, was a note with a pink lipstick smooch at the bottom.
‘Thanks for last night, call me when you’re home xx’
You ran out of the room as fast as you could and made it to your own bathroom before you threw up for the final time that morning. You pulled yourself up off the ground just enough to turn on your shower. You stripped yourself of your clothes and climbed in, sitting on the floor of it as the tears finally started to slip out. A million thoughts and ideas started going through your head. Your head racing as your chest started to feel as though it was shrinking in on you. You were sobbing but you were convinced that you couldn’t breathe. All at once you felt like your entire world was falling apart, like you were broken into a million little pieces.
It wasn’t unfamiliar feeling, but there was always one person there who could at least put your pieces back together. Shouto could fit all of those pieces back together. Not in a “he fixes everything” way, no instead it was more like he would sit with you and help organize the pieces as you put yourself back together. Trying to convince yourself that you were still capable of doing it without him you pulled yourself up in the shower. You forced yourself to wash your hair, and your body. Sobs still slipped out every so often, but you were trying your best to force them back down.
Once you were finished in the shower you cursed the fact that you two didn’t really leave towels in your bathroom. So instead you just left a trail of water as you walked back into your room. Once you were dressed, you didn’t even bother to brush through your hair as you plopped down on your bed. You pulled the blankets right around you, and let yourself cry more until you finally could fall asleep.
Shouto was a mess. He had been a mess since last night, when you disappeared from the party. He saw Shinsou talking to Kaminari, so he could only assume that you didn’t leave with him. He asked everyone if they had saw you, but they all said no. After saying a quick goodbye to Mina, he went back for his car. His first destination of searching was the apartment, but when he opened the door he could tell that you weren’t there. Your shoes weren’t lazily kicked off by the door for him to fix and put back the right way. A string of cuss words left his mouth, and he started his search of the bars he knew you enjoyed going to.
There was no sign of you there either, just an incredibly too drunk girl that was clinging to him begging him to help her. So he did, he helped her and gave her a place to stay for the night where she could be safe. As soon as they were inside though, the girl stripped out of her dress and tried to pull him on the couch with her. After rejecting her more than he should’ve had to, she finally got the hint and started to cry. He offered for her to sleep in his bed, and gave her his shirt to sleep with so her bare chest would be covered. Even though he didn’t actually sleep, Shouto sat in your room with the door locked to keep away anymore potential unwanted advances.
That morning, he went into his room to gather his patrol clothes. He usually took Sundays off for himself, and because it was the one day you had off. He was going to patrol for you though, to try and see if he could find you anywhere because he was going out of his mind. The girl was still there, tangled up in his bed in nothing more than his shirt and her underwear. He awkwardly explained to her that he was leaving, but he would let her wake up more and she could see herself out.
He went to his agency, and then got ready to start his search for you. He even demanded some of the sidekicks helped him. Shouto was cursing himself for freezing up last night when you told him that you loved him. His entire plan for going out to the lake was to finally confess that he loved you. You beat him to it though, and you were so hasty in telling him you didn’t mean it that he didn’t know what to do. The two of you had both been drinking, so maybe it wasn’t the right moment for either of you to say anything. Before he could even ask you if you could talk about it the next day, just enjoy the party together, and maybe talk about it over breakfast.. You were saying it was a mistake, and you didn’t mean it. Then you were rushing off and avoiding any kind of contact with him.
After searching everywhere he could, he was finally starting to lose his cool. Shouto had seen you have your attacks, and you were the only person who was able to help him identify when he was having one himself. He didn’t even notice one coming on, until Midoriya was kneeling in front of him. He was trying to talk to him, and understand what was happening.
“She’s gone, she’s gone and I can’t find her, why can’t I find her? I s-should’ve stopped her.. I..” Shouto Todoroki knew you were his weak spot, you had been his weak spot since the moment you opened up to him. You were also his rock though, the only other person beside Midoriya who was completely and totally patient with his lack of knowledge when it came to relationships and people. Now he didn’t know where you were, and his brain could only assume the worst outcome or scenario.
“Shouto, I’m going to get you home okay?” Midoriya’s words cut through the clouds in his brain, “You and I will wait there for her, and I will get in touch with everybody else to see if they can find her.”
Shouto let his friend pull him up off the pavement, but was silent the entire way back to his agency. He was quick to change and grab his things, trying to avoid anybody else seeing him in the state he was in. Midoriya drove him home, and tried his best to get Shouto to calm down. In his head though, the worst possible outcomes were happening. Finally, Shinsou answered Midoriya’s calls.
Midoriya explained everything, and Shinsou sighed before saying, “She’s home, I dropped her off there myself.”
Shouto practically leaped out of the passenger seat at the last red light before your shared apartment. He was running as fast as he could, too impatient for the elevator he opted for sprinting up the stairs instead. His hands were shaking as he unlocked the apartment door, and he stepped inside to the smell of bleach overwhelming him… And your shoes and your dress from last dropped by the front door. Shouto fixed your shoes, and picked up your dress as he made his way down the hall to your room.
Shouto felt the entire world lift off his shoulders when he saw you curled up in your bed. Your soft snores filled his ears and he dropped your dress in your laundry basket before went and sat on your bed. Your hair was damp and in tangles. Your pillow was soaked. He wanted to wake you up and scold you, and tell you that you were going to catch a cold sleeping like that. Instead though, he opted for gently letting his fingers touch your face.
You shifted a little at the sudden cold touch on your face, and your eyes peeled open a bit to see Shouto sitting next you. For a minute, you didn’t remember anything that happened. All you saw was the man you loved, looking at you like you were the only thing that mattered in the world. Then the memories sunk in, of the previous night, and seeing that girl just hours prior. Your throat tightened up, and you shifted a little.
“You scared me,” Shouto sounded like he was scolding you, “When I couldn’t find you last night I thought something had happened to you,”
“I’m surprised you had time to worry,” Your words were so quiet, but they shocked him nonetheless.
“What do you mean?” Shouto’s eyebrows creased in the middle, “Did you stay with Shinsou? He said he dropped you off at home,”
“I did,” Your words were dry, and when you sat up Shouto finally noticed that you had been crying. Your eyes were red, and your lips looked like you had been nervously peeling the skin off of them. His heart sank a little, something had upset you and he wasn’t there to help.
“What happened?” Shouto whispered, and his hand reached out to grab yours. For the first time ever though, you pulled it away from him. Out of his grasp.
“Did you have fun after I left?” You hated that you sounded like a jealous lover. You were definitely jealous, but you weren’t a lover.
“No?” Shouto tilted his head, “No, I didn’t even notice you had left,”
“Yeah, I mean from the looks of this morning, your hands must’ve been pretty full,” You sounded angry, and Shouto was confused as to why.
Why were you upset with him for looking for you? Did you two have something planned?
“Well, I know I don’t usually work Sundays but I made an exception for today because-”
“Because you needed a way out of your one night stand? She left you a note by the way, with her number on it, maybe you should go bother her,” You snapped, and Shouto sat back a little. He was trying to read the situation, trying to read you. All he could pick out though, was that he was bothering you? Bothering you because he cares
“I didn’t realize that looking for you all night and all morning was bothering you?” He scoffed, “I mean you just disappeared last night, and I couldn’t find you anywhere so I,”
“Took home another girl instead? Since you would have the apartment to yourself?” You didn’t even let him finish the sentence, which just frustrated him even more.
“What? No,” Shouto stood up and looked at you, and you laughed. Actually laughed at him, before you stood up too.
“I mean hey it’s fine, she looked great, so I bet you had a good time,” You scoffed crossing your arms, “If you want to start doing that more often don’t let me stop you,”
“What are you even fucking talking about?!” Shouto finally snapped, the frustrating and confusion getting to him, “You think I had a good night?! I spent the entire night waiting for you to come back, then when you didn’t I spent my entire morning and afternoon trying my best to convince myself that you weren’t dead! Why are you mad about that?!”
You blinked a few times, “Because I came home to our fucking apartment after telling you I was in love with you, to find another girl walking around half naked!”
“Her being naked was a shock for me too! Imagine how I felt when I turned around and her dress was gone!”
“Judging by the state of your bed, and the note on it, you didn’t seem to mind it!” You were both confused, tired, and angry. Shouto was looking you over, like he was trying to assess you like you were some work problem. In usual fashion, you could see the pieces start to add up as his eyebrows unclenched. Shouto took a deep breath.
“I didn’t have sex with that girl, she was crying outside of the bar that I went to look for you at, and I offered to let her sleep in my bed,” Shouto explained the situation, and now it was your turn to feel stupid. You wanted to crawl back into your bed and hide from him like a scared little kid. You opted for just sitting down though, and he followed you in doing so.
There was a moment of silence as you tried to digest the embarrassment of how you just acted, “I don’t blame you, I supposed if I would have shown up at Shinsou’s and found you there I would’ve made the same conclusions about the two of you,”
“I stayed there, but nothing happened between the two of us,” You whispered, picking at your sheets slightly. There was another bit of silence before Shouto finally took a deep breath and turned himself completely towards you.
“I love you,” Your eyes snapped up to meet his, “I am in love with you, and have been since I was sixteen, I didn’t say anything about it because the person who started pushing me towards realizing it was Dabi, when he mentioned you being my weak spot,
I didn’t know what that meant at first, but I knew after he pointed that out I just wanted to be around you even more than I already was, I didn’t even realize what the feelings were that I was having towards you until Midoriya explained it to me, but then I was just too.. Too scared to even say anything about how I felt, because I had never felt that way before, so then instead I just kept you even closer to me, brought you around my family and watched the way you molded with them,
At dinner yesterday Natsuo finally convinced me that it was time for me to man up and tell you how I felt and I was going to at the lake, but you were talking so fast and I couldn’t even process what was happening until I couldn’t find you anymore and I started to get scared that I lost you,”
Shouto was looking right at you, not once breaking eye contact while he spoke every thought that was in his mind. You blinked a few times, and tried to force yourself to say something. Shouto fidgeted nervously.
“If you were telling the truth last night, and you didn’t mean what you said me then that’s okay and I won’t hold it against you, but if you did..”
You couldn’t find the words to say, so instead you sat up a little and glanced at his lips. He caught the subtle look, and as if it was second nature to him gathered what you were hinting at. What you wanted to do but you were simply too scared to. So instead, he placed a warm hand flat against your jaw and gently moved in closer. Both of you were hesitating, both of you watched the other for any kind of tell that maybe it shouldn’t happen. Shouto was surprisingly the first one to close the gap between you two, and pressed his lips softly against yours.
The kiss was gentle at first, his lips slotting against yours as if they were always meant to be there. His hand stayed on your jaw for a moment before finally sliding to the back of your tangled and damp hair, pulling you closer while always pulling himself closer to you. Both of your hands mimicked his, as you slid them to the base of his neck holding him in place. Shouto shivered a little, at the feeling of your nails gently scrapping the nape of his neck. His free hand snaked around your waist to pull you against him even more.
“Not close enough,” Shouto complained against your lips, and you let out that little laugh that loved more than anything. He went into kiss you again, but you tried to hold him back so you could tell him you felt the same way. So you could tell him you loved him too. He was a fighter though, and kept pressing his lips against yours.
“Sho,” You giggled again, and finally placed both of your hands on his face, “Let me talk,”
For the first time in knowing him, you saw Shouto Todoroki actually pout at the fact he wasn’t getting his way, “Hurry, need more of that..”
His words sent a shiver up your spine, and goosebumps formed on your arms, “I love you too, Shouto Todoroki, I always have, and I promise you I always will,”
His pouting lips tugged up into a small grin that made your heart melt, he pressed his forehead to yours before he whispered, “I have.. I have a lot to learn about this, about loving someone like this, so please.. Be patient with me?”
“I’ve been patient for five years waiting for you to even give a hint that I was more than a friend, I can be patient with you learning how to navigate me being your girlfriend,” Your thumb rubbed just below his scar, and his eyes opened up again to look at you, “I mean if you want me to be your girlfriend,”
“I want you to be my.. You are my everything,” Shouto breathed out, the words making you both feeling giddy inside, “Your minute is up though.”
Shouto pressed his lips against yours again, this time with a little more force. The two of you eventually were laying in your bed together, still letting the occasional lazy kiss turn into a make out session. Both of you just wrapped up in one another, as comfortable feeling settled between you both that you were together.. Finally.
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ASHLEY JOHNSON & BELLA RAMSEY as ANNA & ELLIE WILLIAMS THE LAST OF US | Season One
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Joel wanted to play Boggle so bad he killed like 50 people.
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I’m so in love with him
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“We just call him Brown Eyes.” “Brown eyes are great! Chocolate chips!”
PEDRO PASCAL
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guys i promise Joel and the reader will kiss in the next part
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Let Your Guard Down
you watch as Joel slowly starts to open up to you and Ellie more, and you talk to Ellie about her mom. when you make it to Kansas City, things get tense and Joel tries to mend the bridge between you two.
joel x fem!reader
one, two, three
Joel finally decided to stop and set up camp so everyone could get some rest. The three of you got everything set up for a camp, and you started warming up some of the Chef Boyardee. Joel had Ellie help him get the rest of the stuff to set up camp out of the truck. She was still talking his ear off, going on about how it was her first time camping in the woods. Joel was quiet, and eventually she gave up and came to talk to you.
“Did you and my mom ever sleep outside like this?” Ellie asked as she sat down next to you, and watched you stir the food in the pot, “Also, what is that stuff?”
“Hopefully some good tasting ravioli,” You smiled at her, “And for your first question, yes we did, there was a point and time where Anna and I slept outside for about three nights in a row,”
“Really?” Ellie looked hopeful that you would keep talking about this, about her mom.
“Mhm, we were supposed to be doing something for the Fireflies, your mom had the worst sense of direction, and hated being wrong,” You looked at Ellie, “So when I would suggest we were lost, she would tell me that she was sure she knew what she was doing,”
“Did she ever?”
“Oh yeah, she did, she was so smart, sometimes just had a tendency to rush herself and everything around her,”
“Did you ever, did you ever know my dad?”
You shook your head, “No, Anna and I got separated for about a month, then when we were reunited we found out about you,”
Ellie tried her hardest to not get a wider smile on her face, “It’s so cool that you knew my mom,”
“Yeah, and I want you to know that she would think you’re awesome.” You put some of the food on a plate for her, and whistled at Joel to let him know to come eat. The three of you sat down, and started eating. Joel was trying his best to be proper about it, cutting up his food. You just used your fork to cut the raviolis in half. Ellie on the other hand, was scarfing down the ravioli as if it was going to be her last meal.
“Slow down,” Joel sighed, and Ellie glared up at him.
“This is slow,” Ellie’s mouth was full so it sounded a little muffled, “It’s so good,”
“It’s twenty-year old Chef Boyardee,” Joel continued eating, “And I actually agree on it being good,”
“So how long are we staying out there?” You asked, “I could drive tonight if you want? I just need at least a small nap,”
Joel shook his head, “I figured I would sleep tonight, and drive all day tomorrow, make it to Wyoming by the next morning,”
“Should we set up a fire? I’m freezing” Ellie asked, but both you and Joel looked at her.
“Now why am I going to say no?” Joel snapped a little, and you lightly kicked him.
“The infected will see the smoke,” Ellie looked at you both, and you shook your head.
“They aren’t that smart, I think what Joel meant to say is we have to be careful of other people,” Ellie’s face flashed with a bit of nervousness. You tried to reassure her with a smile, “So we just need to take some precautions, that’s all,”
“Oh, would they rob us?”
“They’ll have way more in mind than just that,” Joel took a bite and you glared at him again. Ellie looked a little nervous for a second before she looked at you.
“Can you tell me more about my mom?” Ellie changed the subject, and you nodded your head. Joel glanced up a little, curious to see what you were going to say.
“Oh Anna,” You smiled to yourself, “We met two days before the outbreak, and she despite everything happening around us she still found a way to have a sense of humor about things, she got me through those first days,
We traveled together, Marlene was there too, but she started with the Fireflies and Anna and I got sent out together to try and recruit more people, so we just got even closer, after the first year she was my sister even if it wasn’t by blood,”
“Whoa,” Ellie looked at the lamp, “What did she look like?”
“A lot like you actually, you two have different eye colors, but there’s no denying you’re her daughter,” This made Ellie smile even more, which made you feel a lot better. Joel had been listening to the two of you, and watching you closely the entire time. There had been so much of your life that he didn’t know either, and it made his heart ache in the same ways yours did..
After everyone laid down, Ellie asked again if anyone would be able to find you all the way out here. Joel was the one to reassure her this time, and a little bit later you heard him get up from his sleeping bag. You rolled over and saw him standing guard at the tree line. After a moment of hesitation you stood up and went over to him, gently touching his arm. He jumped a little bit, then relaxed when he saw it was just you.
“You should get some rest Joel, I’ll do the watch,” You smiled at him, “I can sleep tomorrow in the truck,”
“I can handle it, Bill had coffee stored up so I can just make some of that in the morning,” Joel looked back at Ellie, “Just want to make sure I was right, and no one does come,”
“Well, then I guess I’ll stay up and watch with you, just in case you fall asleep,” You crossed your arms and leaned up against one of the trees. Joel stared at you for a second, before he nodded. He knew that you wouldn’t just listen and go lay back down.
“So, her mom.. What happened to her?” Joel asked quietly, you tensed up a little, “If you can’t talk about it, I understand,”
“A little bit after Ellie was born, she got bit by an infected, Marlene had to shoot her,” You clenched your jaw to try and force the sounds of her cries and that gunshot that filled your head, “I kept Ellie for about a month, until we made it back to Boston, Marlene thought she’d be safer in the FEDRA school, and I couldn’t argue,”
“Why not just, keep her? Stay in Boston with her?” Joel asked, but the underlying question was really him wondering why you didn’t stay where he could’ve found you sooner.
“Marlene had me convinced that I couldn’t do it, and maybe she was right, I hated leaving Ellie there though, so I left the Fireflies and left Boston,” You looked up at the stars, “It’s my turn to ask, what happened with Tommy?”
“Well, in true Tommy fashion, when Marlene approached him and told him that he could help change the world, he bought into it,” Joel shook his head, “Last I heard he quit the Fireflies, and is somewhere out West by himself, so I figured if we find him, we find the Fireflies,”
“Wyoming right? That’s the goal?”
“Yeah, between the two of us I have a feeling we will find him, then he can get us to where the kid needs to be,”
“And if we can’t find him?”
“We will, I’m persistent,”
“Oh really?” You didn’t mean to sound so offended, but you couldn’t lie that you were. If he was so persistent, why did he give up on you? Joel looked at you for a second, before he shook his head.
“That’s different,”
“Yeah, no, I bet it is huh? After all you can’t replace your brother, so why give up on him? But you did find Tess, so I guess that made it easier huh?” The silence was heavy between the two of you. All of the pain and anger you felt slipping through the cracks. You had tried to replace him too, you tried to give up, but you couldn’t. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t let go.
“Y/n, you have to understand that I thought you were dead, there was no word from you, no signs of you being alive,” Joel was trying to keep his temper under control, even after you threw Tess back in his face, “I had no reason to even think that you survived,”
“Yeah, I didn’t either Joel, zero reason actually, but I didn’t give up because I loved you, and dammit I still do,” Joel’s eyes widened a little, “I know it’s not fair, I know you’re mourning Tess, but you could’ve at least acted like you were a little relieved I wasn’t dead,”
“Y/n,”
“Or maybe a little more explanation on what happened to Sarah? She was the closest thing I had ever had to a child Joel, for almost ten years of my life she was the center of everything for me too,” The tears were starting to sit in the corners of your eyes but you didn’t care, “She called me that first night, she was so damn scared, and I couldn’t do a fucking thing to help, so I promised myself that when I found her, when I found you, I would never let go again,”
“She wasn’t your kid Y/n, she was mine, and maybe if you would’ve never went on that damn trip in the first place, we wouldn’t be in the spot we are now.” Joel said it so fast, and the words sat heavy between you both. Your eyes widened a little as the idea settled in your head, Joel gave up on you because he blamed you. He blamed you for Sarah’s death.
Except that wasn’t what he wanted you to think, he didn’t even think it himself. Joel just didn’t know how to say he had to give up, because it was just either to believe you were dead. So that he would never have to see the look in your eyes when you found out that Sarah was dead. That she was dead and it was all his fault. He knew how much you loved her, and how much Sarah loved you. Joel had been scared of finding you, because he was scared that once you knew he had failed, you would never see him the same again.
You walked away before he could say anything else, and opted for sleeping in the truck. You couldn’t fall asleep though, and you couldn’t cry. Neither one would happen, so you just sat and stared out of the window. The pain in your heart felt even heavier than you could bear, but Ellie was out there. Anna’s Ellie was out there, so you couldn’t let it sit for too long. You could still help her, you could still make sure that she would be okay. After whatever tests the Fireflies had in store, you would take Ellie somewhere with you. You would never let her go again.
The sun started to come up, and you could hear Joel getting stuff out of the back of the truck for coffee. You only moved from your spot in the front seat to the backseat. After Ellie was awake, and everything was packed up again, she went to get in the back but was surprised to find you there instead. You told her to just take the front seat, and told her you wanted to get some more sleep. Joel was tense when he got into the truck, and couldn’t bring himself to even look at you. The feeling was mutual though, so you just closed your eyes and laid in the back. You listened to Ellie ask him questions, about Tommy mostly.
“If you don’t think there’s hope for the world, why bother going on?”
“You haven’t seen the world so you wouldn’t know,” Joel paused, “You keep going for family,”
“I’m not family,”
“No, you’re cargo, plus I made a promise to Tess, and she was like family,”
Then she asked the same thing you did last night, “What if you don’t find him?”
“I will.”
“How do you know?”
Joel hesitated for a second, he took a deep breath, “I’m persistent.”
Finally you fell asleep, and you didn’t wake up until the next city. Joel was looking at the blocked road, and Ellie looked back at you. You asked her what was happening and she shrugged her shoulders, she had been asleep too. Joel got back in and explained the plan was to find another way around. So you started to help Ellie with the map, trying to find a way out of the city. You were taking side streets, when you first spotted the QZ. It was abandoned, and empty. Then the man stumbled out onto the street. Joel told you both to buckle up, and Ellie was confused why he wasn’t going to stop and help him, but you told her to just listen to Joel.
It happened so fast you didn’t really understand what had happened at first. Something smacked into the windshield, and then Joel lost control of the truck. It started to spin out, and crashed through a building. Then the bullets started, as you were trying to get out of the backseat, one almost hit you in the arm. Joel pulled you out the rest of the way, and looked you over.
“You okay?!” He yelled, his hands shaking slightly, you nodded, your body hurt but it wasn’t too bad, “Ellie you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah I think so,” Joel looked around the room before he pointed out a hole.
“Do you think both of you could climb through there?” Joel asked, you looked at it, and you thought it might be a tight squeeze for you but it was possible, “When I say go, you two start for that hole and don’t come out until I say so,”
“No, Ellie, you go, I am staying and helping you,” You glared at Joel, “I’m better with a gun than I was twenty years ago Miller, accept the help and shut up,”
Joel wanted to argue with you except there was no time, so instead he focused in on Ellie, “They’re not going to hit you, you go through there and you stay until one of us says it’s clear to come out,”
Ellie couldn’t focus on him, there was too much happening around her for that to happen.
“Hey! Look at me,” Joel got her attention, “They’re not going to hit you, you stay down, you stay low, you stay quiet.”
“Go Ellie, it’ll be okay.” You reassured her too.
Once she was safe behind the wall, you and Joel started to fireback at the other guys. Joel hit one of them first, and once the other was closer you got him. You thought the coast was clear, and it got quiet for a second. Your ears were ringing from the sounds of the gunshots, but all you could think about was making sure that Ellie was still okay.
The door behind you busted open, and a third guy came through it. Joel was trying to get his gun to reload, but was able to smack the guys gun so he couldn’t shoot either of you. You tried to grab his gun from him, but he ended up shoving you backwards. Your head smacked against the counter that was behind you, and you slumped down into it seeing stars. The back of your neck started to feel warm, and you were trying to focus in on what was going on. The guy was on top of Joel now, and from the looks of it about to kill him. Ellie slowly started to come into view, and she had a gun. Where had she gotten a gun? You wanted to yell at her to get back behind the wall, but you couldn’t talk or even move. Then she shot him, and you couldn’t hold on any longer. Your vision went out, and you went unconscious.
When you started to come back to it, Joel was slamming himself into a door. Then he picked you up bridal style, muttering something about you still being too light. He got you inside and set you down, then had Ellie help him blockade the door. Ellie kneeled down and looked at you, she came more into focus as she tried to talk to you. Joel kneeled down too, his hands gently leaning your head forward. You hissed a little from the pain as he did.
“I’m sorry,” He whispered, trying to move you gently, “Can you hear me?”
You nodded, and touched the back of your head. Your hair felt sticky, and when you pulled your hand away you could see blood on it. You grimaced a little, and tried to shake it off. Ellie looked at you nervously, but you started to push yourself up. Joel was quick to help you, and he looked at Ellie.
“I’m okay, I’m good, I have my pack and I grabbed Y/n’s off the ground after I..” Ellie trailed off, she looked back at you, “You’re okay right?”
“I’ll be fine,” You tried to smile, “We need to move, get out of here before more show up.”
Joel carried your backpack for you, and the two of you snuck out the back. A couple of trucks went by, and you could hear them yelling about someone named Bryan. The three of you ran across into another building, and made your way into another hiding spot. You slouched against the wall, your breathing a little uneven. Your head felt like it was going to explode at any second with how much it was still throbbing. Ellie looked at you nervously, and Joel had you turn around so he could get a better look. He moved your hair gently again, his fingers gently brushing through it.
“It won’t need stitches, but you did cut it open,” Joel sighed, “You feel okay?”
“Yeah, yeah I know where we are at, and I remember what happened so I’m good, probably just a concussion,” You sighed, Joel went to peek out of the newspaper covered windows. You all could hear trucks rumbling through the streets now.
“Are we safe in here?” Ellie looked at Joel, and he nodded.
“Looks like they’re checking out apartment buildings first, then they’ll probably start looking into these,” Joel sighed, and moved away from the window. Ellie looked out of it, pointing out a really tall building.
“Yeah I saw, as soon as we don’t hear trucks, we move,” Joel looked at you, “Fast as we can,”
They both sat down, Ellie on the floor next to you. She pulled her knees up to her chest, and looked at Joel, “Are you okay?”
“I’m all right,” He hesitated before he looked at her again, “Are you.. All right?”
Ellie just nodded, and you looked at Joel. He gave you a look that said he would explain later. You leaned your head back against the wall, and closed your eyes for a second. Joel started to talk again though, so you opened them back up.
“Thing is, I didn’t hear that guy coming, you shouldn’t have had to..” Joel sounded like he was trying to be comforting, but he didn’t know how to actually do it, “You shouldn’t have had to, you know,”
“Well you’re glad I did, right?” Ellie looked up at him, “I mean he was going to kill you, and probably Y/n,”
“You’re just a kid,” Joel’s voice was softer when he looked at her, “You shouldn’t know what it means to, it’s not like you killed him, but I know what it’s like the first time that you in hurt someone like that.. If you uh, w- I’m not good at this,”
“Yeah you really aren’t,” You and Ellie said it in unison.
“I mean, it was my fault, you shouldn’t have had to.” Joel looked at the two of you again, but you were looking at Ellie, “And I’m sorry,”
The tears started for Ellie, and she tried her best to hide them. Both you and Joel watched her. You knew if you tried to comfort her, she would just reject it. She was a lot like Anna on that front, she didn’t want to seem weak. Especially now, when from the sounds of it, she had to do something to save both you and Joel. You looked up at Joel, who was still just watching Ellie try not to fall apart in front of you both.
“It wasn’t my first time,” She said it so quiet, you almost didn’t hear it. Joel pulled the gun out, and moved towards Ellie.
“Show me your grip, finger off the trigger,” Ellie held the gun, he scoffed a little bit, “Now, who taught you that?”
“FEDRA school,”
“Figures,” You watched Joel show Ellie how to properly hold the gun. Once she had a good grip on it, he grabbed it and shook it to show her that it wasn’t going anywhere. Ellie finally giggled again, and you were smiling at them both. He reloaded the gun for her, and handed it back to her. She went to put it in her pocket, but both you and Joel stopped her.
“Put it in your pack,” You laughed, and held a hand out to Joel to help you up. He shook his head at Ellie, and helped you up off the ground.
“You’ll shoot your damn ass off,” Joel started to un-board the door, he sighed a little and looked at both of you again, “We’ll get through this,”
“We will.” You smiled, and Ellie agreed.
The three of you made it to the building, and both you and Joel groaned at the sight of all the stairs. You all started to make your way up, and you made it to the thirty-third floor. Joel slid down against the wall, and you were knelt over breathing a little heavy. Ellie looked at you both, before she held a hand out for Joel.
“Get up you lazy ass,” Ellie laughed, and helped him up. Joel glanced up at her.
“Lazy ass” He muttered, “I’m fifty-six you little shit, Y/n’s not too far behind,”
“Hey fucker, six years is significantly far behind in my book, I haven’t even hit fifty yet still got a couple months,” You laughed, trying to catch your breath. Ellie smiled at you, and you both followed after Joel.
After you finally found what you believed to be a safe room, you and Ellie started setting up some pillows to make into makeshift beds. Joel started spreading glass around, and you and Ellie looked at one another confused.
“Joel?” Ellie asked, but Joel didn’t hear her the first time so she said his name a little louder.
“What?” He looked back at you both sitting on the cushions.
“What are you doing?”
“Do you guys want someone to sneak up on us while we’re sleeping?”
“Ohh, I get it, crunch crunch crunch,” Ellie nodded, before she flopped back on her pillows. You smiled and laid down too, it was a pretty good plan, “You sure you gonna hear it?”
“Yeah that’s the whole point,” Joel walked over to his, and Ellie just accepted it and said goodnight, “Yeah, good night,”
After a few minutes of silence, Ellie finally started to talk again, “Can I ask you guys a serious question, I meant to when we were camping the other night but Y/n made me go to bed,”
“What is it?” You looked at her, and Joel turned back.
“Why did the scarecrow receive an award?” Ellie was trying her hardest to sound serious, but the smile on her face was starting to give her away.
“Because he was outstanding in his field,” Joel answered it in such a serious tone, both you and Ellie started to laugh.
“You fucker! Did you read this?” Ellie smiled at him, but he shook his head, “Okay, hold on, here’s my actual question did you guys know that diarrhea is hereditary?”
“What?” You and Joel said it in unison.
“Yeah, it runs in your jeans..” Both of you stared at her, and she finally snickered. Then all three of you were laughing together, Joel tried his hardest to hide it.
“That is so goddamn stupid,” Joel said between laughs.
“You laughed, motherfucker,” Ellie accused and he shook his head, you were still laughing.
“I didn’t laugh,” Joel said, while still laughing, “Jesus I’m losin’ it,”
“Oh you’re losing it big time,” You laughed, and he looked back towards you. His smile looked the same as it did twenty years ago. All three of you laughed for a little bit, until Ellie finally fell asleep.
Neither you or Joel could fall asleep though, not when there was too much to say. He looked over at you, and nodded towards the other side of the room. You nodded yes, and got up to follow him quietly over there. Joel leaned against the wall, his arms crossed. Your mind flashed back to the first time you two had got into an actual fight. Even if it ended with you making up in the end..
1997
Joel got out of the truck, and slammed the door behind him. You groaned to yourself, still a little drunk. Joel walked over and opened your door for you. The sun was starting to make its way up, and you couldn’t remember if Sarah was at her sleepover or not. Joel helped you out of the truck, and inside the house. Once you were both inside, he let go of you and walked away from you. Part of you wanted to follow him, but he had never been this mad at you before.
“Joel?” You followed him into the kitchen, your voice smaller than you had ever heard it before. You felt like a little kid again, just waiting for the punishment.
“You want some breakfast? Since it’s five in the morning?” Yeah he was angry.
“I’m sorry, I lost track of time, and my phone wasn’t working,” You were standing next to the table, watching him get into the fridge. He wouldn’t even look at you, “If I would’ve known Tommy was there sooner, I would’ve had him call you sooner..”
“You were supposed to be at the bar, so how exactly did you end up at a house party?” Joel scoffed, “Also what happened to, ‘I’ll either call you or a cab at 12?’”
“Well, the girls wanted to go with some of the guys they met that night, and I felt bad ditching them,” You whispered, “I didn’t realize it was going to be a house party, or that those things were going to happen,”
Joel slammed the fridge and you flinched back, “I get that you’re young or whatever, but going to some sketchy ass house is seriously stupid and naive Y/n,”
“Oh, so that’s the card you’re going to pull, that I’m young?” You hated the way he was talking to you, “Jesus Christ Joel, you’re only six years older than me, stop acting like you have a decade over me,”
“No but clearly we can see where maturity levels are in this relationship,”
“Oh forgive me, I didn’t realize that acting like a normal person in their twenties means I’m immature?” Your voice was now getting louder, “I understand that you didn’t get to do it, you had Sarah, but I told you I wanted to call you sooner but my cellphone wouldn’t fucking work!”
“You know what? You’re right, you wanna be a normal person in their twenties? You go right ahead, go fucking crazy, but you won’t be doing it near me or Sarah!” Your eyes widened a little, and you nodded slowly. Joel’s face was red, a clear sign that he was pissed. You turned on your heels and went upstairs to start throwing the clothes you had left here into a bag. Joel was sitting on the couch when you came back down with your bag over your shoulder, “What are you doing?”
“From the very beginning I have done nothing but tell you that I love being here for you, that I love being here for Sarah, I love getting to do these things because the bars, parties, all of that shit doesn’t even matter to me,” You were crying now but you didn’t care enough to hide it; “I have one bad night, where things don’t go the way I planned, where I end up uncomfortable and scared because I don’t know where I’m at, and you threaten me with that shit?”
“I wanted to call you sooner, but I couldn’t find a way to, I wanted to come home sooner but my friends made me feel bad that I hadn’t been out with them in awhile,” You grabbed your keys off the hook, “Then by the time we’re at the house I realize how drunk I am, start asking everyone for a phone to call you until finally I come across your brother and he calls you for me, I didn’t realize we were an hour away, by the time I found Tommy I started crying because I was so relieved,”
“Y/n,”
“I’m not finished,” You cut him off, “So yes you are rightfully pissed, I shouldn’t have stayed at the bar later, I should have called you sooner and none of this would have happened, I will give you that, but don’t act like I am some out of control twenty-six year old who is a danger to your fucking daughter,”
“Just put your keys up, we can talk about this after you sleep,” Joel stood up, but you stepped away from him and shook your head, “You can’t fucking drive right now, don’t be stu- no I don’t mean stupid Y/n,”
You laughed and walked out of the front door, slamming it behind you. You got in your car and started sobbing finally. You weren’t worried about driving yourself now, everything that just happened was enough to clear your mind up entirely. There was a brief hesitation, hoping that maybe Joel was going to come outside and stop you. He didn’t though, so you took that as your sign and started driving back to your apartment. Luckily it was only a ten minute drive. You got inside and let yourself crumble as soon as you were laying on the couch.
You didn’t know how long you had been asleep, but you woke up to the sound of someone in your kitchen. You laid on the couch a little longer, trying to convince yourself it was just a dream. You could see your kitchen from where you were laying though, and you could see Joel in there at the stove. You tried to decide whether you should go talk to him, or avoiding this for now.. Avoiding was the option, and you went to your bathroom to take a shower. You locked the bathroom door behind you though, even though you had a feeling he wouldn’t try to follow you right now.
After a good shower, you got dressed in a pair of pajamas pants and one of Joel’s shirts. You came back out of the bathroom, and he was leaning against the counter in the kitchen, his arms crossed. You looked at him, the tears threatening to spill over again. Joel shook his head, and uncrossed his arms to pull you into a tight hug. He held you as tight as he could, as if you were going to float away from him. Joel kissed the top of your head a couple times, and apologized at least fifty times.
2023
Joel’s arms being crossed the way they were, reminded you of when he apologized to you. When he told you that he would never think of you as a bad influence for Sarah, that he just said those things out of fear and a little anger. You wanted to be hopeful, that maybe another apology was coming, but you also were starting to wonder if there was any part of the Joel you once knew left.
“Sarah, she.. I..” Joel looked down at his feet, you could’ve swore his eyes flickered to Ellie for a second, “You were her mom, you were a damn good one too, so I shouldn’t have said what I did earlier Y/n,”
You were a little shocked by his apology, you didn’t know what to say. Instead, you started to cry again. You hated breaking down in front of him, but instead of pushing you away.. Joel pulled you into a hug, his arms tight against you. You pushed your forehead against his chest, trying to muffle the sounds of your cries so Ellie wouldn’t wake up. Joel held on tight to you, and he rubbed your back slightly. You held on tight to his shirt, afraid that he was going to slip away again.
Joel didn’t cry, he couldn’t let himself cry over it. Yet in that moment, he felt relieved that someone shared his grief. The same amount of grief for that beautiful little girl who was his daughter. For the first time in twenties years since it had happened, Joel didn’t feel as alone in dealing with the loss of Sarah. He finally realized that he had been grieving you too, but he didn’t need to do that anymore. You were here now, you were there and you were alive..
“Move your mats closer to me?” Joel whispered, you were shocked but also relieved, he was finally letting his guard down with you again. You nodded your head, and the two of you walked back over to your spots. You moved the cushions you were using closer to his, on the other side so he could still face you.
The two of you fell asleep that night, not holding each other, but just looking at one another..
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Text
Everything Lost Can be Found
You leave with Joel, Ellie, and Tess to get Ellie to the rest of the fireflies. Things are tense for you and Joel, as he tries to navigate how to approach this situation. Neither of you seem the same anymore, so could your feelings ever be the same?
warnings: angst, violence, sadness, Ellie fluff because we love her, Joel being a grumpy old man, all the drama I could try to put in there
previous part, first part
Pairing: joel x fem!reader
“Ellie, you okay?” You looked at her, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at Joel. Not right now. It didn’t feel real, seeing him standing there. You felt like if you stared any longer your heart might rip in half.
“Yeah, this fucker just threw me but I’m good,” She nodded, and stared at you like you were some kind of hero. Ellie grew up looking at that picture of you, and the small note you left for her. A note explaining that you loved her mom, and that you loved her. She had just assumed you died when her mom died, whenever that might have been. You looked different than you had in your picture, a bit older. Your hair had a few pieces of gray in it, a couple small scars on your face.
“Perfect, now that Y/n’s here, Joel and Tess can go with you and Ellie,” Marlene sighed, still holding her side. Joel turned and pointed his gun back at her.
“You knew she was alive? You fucking knew? I know my idiot brother had to have mentioned something about her,” Joel shouted at Marlene, the woman next to him gave him a look.
“We don’t have time for this shit, FEDRA will be here soon, you three get Ellie into the city, you’re all more than capable,” Marlene snapped back, “Then Joel and Tess can get their truck battery, Ellie will go with the Fireflies and Y/n,”
“Marlene,” You warned, but then looked at Ellie, “Fine, I’m in.”
You left with Joel, Tess, and Ellie. Ellie stayed close to you, keeping her head low. Before you left, Marlene gave you a note and told you to read it in private. You got back to what you assumed to Joel’s apartment, the tension in the air made you incredibly uneasy. Tess kept glancing at you and then back at Joel, as if she was trying to figure you both out.
“Maybe the adults can have a conversation?” Tess sighed, going to close the door on Ellie. You stuck your foot in the door and shook your head.
“I’ll stay with her, you two do whatever it is you have to do,” You finally made eye contact with Joel, and frowned a little. Something about him seemed different, closed off. The door closed on you and Ellie, and you two looked at each other.
“I have so many questions for you,” Ellie whispered, “I can’t believe you’re alive, if you’re alive why the fuck was i with FEDRA? Also, how do you know that dick out there? He seemed extra pissed over you? Where have you been? Who was my mom?”
“Ellie, Ellie,” You laughed and grabbed her shoulders, “I promise we will have all the time to answer questions okay?”
You heard Joel shouting no to Tess outside the door, and then he came inside. He looked at you and Ellie, before focusing in on you. Suddenly you understood how Ellie felt, you had so many questions. Joel did too, so he asked you to talk in private. Ellie was more than pissed about it, but you promised her to answer her questions when you were done asking your own. Joel took you back to his bedroom, and you suddenly understood Tess’s extra curiosity about you. The woman’s clothing in the room gave it away.
“Where’s Sarah?” You didn’t want to ask about Tess, you didn’t think your heart could handle it right now, “Plus Tommy, where is he?”
Joel was silent, and avoided eye contact. Then it settled in for you, Sarah was gone. There was no sign of her around here. No hint of her living there with them, she would be thirty-four now. She could’ve had children of her own.
“It happened the first night of the outbreak,” Joel said it quietly before he shook his head, “Tommy and I looked for you for awhile, but eventually after the dead ends we just.. I just assumed you were gone,”
“I was with a few people from the nursing convention I was at on outbreak day, we made our way around, eventually I broke off from Marlene,” You tried your best to keep your voice from cracking, “There was a conflict over that girl sitting in the living room,”
“What’s your connection to her anyways?”
“Her mother was someone important to me, I wanted to keep her, Marlene wanted me to continue my work for the Fireflies and made me take her to FEDRA, after that I lost all respect for her and left the Fireflies,” You paused for a second, “So, you and Tess, are you..?”
“We should go keep an eye on the kid.”
Joel walked past you, and went to lay down on his couch. You and Ellie sat at the table, looking through a book of music he had. She wanted you to help her break the code on whatever it was he had set up with his radio. Ellie reminded you so much of Anna, but you couldn’t bring yourself to laugh at her little jokes. It was settling in that Sarah was really gone, you had come to terms that you might never see them again. Except you were seeing Joel, you were looking right at him. The only one of the Miller’s you would never see again, seemed to be Sarah. Sweet Sarah. Your eyes stung with tears, but you tried your best to fight them back.
“We’ll be safe right? Going outside the wall?” Ellie looked out the window, “It’s so dark out there, and no one really goes out there,”
“It’ll be fine Ellie,” You smiled, and looked back to see Joel was awake. He looked between the two of you, before he nodded in agreement.
Tess came back to the apartment, and the four of you headed out. Ellie stuck close to your side, as you all made your way through the QZ. You thought you guys were in the clear, and that you would be able to actually pull this off, you were proven wrong. There was a FEDRA officer you tried to sneak past, but he caught sight of you. From the sounds of it, Joel knew him. He had the four of you get on your knees, so he could use the scanner to see if you were infected. Joel and Tess were trying to reason with him, to get you all out of it. When it was Ellie’s turn to get scanned, she panicked and stabbed him in the leg with Anna’s knife.
“Ellie!” You shouted and grabbed her, trying to calm her down. The soldier pointed his gun at the two of you, and Joel sprung into action.
“We can fix this!” Joel yelled, but the officer just told him to move. Joel paused for a moment, and then lunged at the officer. He tackled him and started to punch him. Ellie pulled away from you, and stepped closer as Joel beat the guy to death. You stood in shock as you watched it happen. Joel was never a peaceful man, he would punch anyone in a bar who deserved it. This was different though, this felt personal.
“Joel!” Tess called out and held up the scanner. Ellie’s face dropped and she looked at the red screen, and then back at you.
“No! No! I’m not sick! Look!” Ellie pulled up her sleeve, “Look! This is three weeks old! People don’t even last three fucking days!”
You moved in front of her, glaring at Tess. Joel looked back at the officer and then at you and Ellie again.
“I couldn’t tell them! I couldn’t tell you! You would’ve killed me!”
“I should kill you!” Tess shouted.
“You aren’t going to fucking touch her! We don’t have time for this shit!” You yelled back at Tess, “We need to move! FEDRA is going to be here soon!”
The four of you cleared out, and found a place to hide out. You sat with Ellie until she fell asleep on a patch of grass, looking back at Joel and Tess who were both ready to shoot her. The pieces started to fit together to you, Anna was bit while Ellie was still connected to her. The cordyceps was inside of her already, more than likely just enough that made her immune. It was a miracle, she was a miracle. You looked up at the hole in the ceiling, and told Anna to check out her girl.
“Y/n, you shouldn’t be too close to her,” Joel finally spoke, and you glared at him.
“If I move, you’ll shoot her,”
“She’s infected,”
“No, she’s bit, and the bite is nothing more than a scar,”
“You can’t-”
“Jesus Christ I’m taking a piss,” Tess sighed and stood up, walking to the back room. Joel watched her leave, and looked like he wanted to follow. His eyes went back to you though, and you could see the conflict going on in his head.
“You can go make sure nothing happens,” You sighed and looked back at Ellie, she looked so innocent like this. All curled up with your jacket as a blanket, “It’s been twenty years, I couldn’t expect you to wait that long,”
“Tess and I, we aren’t,” Joel sighed, “Doesn’t fucking matter, the kid could turn at any minute,”
“She isn’t even twitching Joel, she’s sleeping, and if you want to shoot her, you’re shooting me first.” You didn’t back down, and Joel stared back at you. Neither one of you were ever one to back down from a fight. Sarah always said it was an equal stubbornness that kept you two so close.
The next few hours, you sat next to Ellie. You felt like if you moved, they would do something. Joel was clearly annoyed at your optimism about this, but he didn’t understand the connection. He didn’t understand that you were there for the first week of her life. That you and Anna both sat and watched her together, talking about who you both thought she would be. Anna was never keen to kids, in fact she didn’t really like them at all, but damn did she love Ellie. Even when she started to scream and cry because she was getting hungry, Anna just kept saying ‘you fucking tell them Ellie’. Anna was family, you were there the entire pregnancy. You swore to her that Ellie would be loved, and protected. That was something you would never go back on.
The note from Marlene reminded you of this promise.
“Morning,” Ellie whispered, sitting up to see Joel with his gun pointed at her. You were still positioned a little in front of her, ready to protect her if you needed to.
“Ellie, I think you need to tell us what’s going on,” You whispered to her, “I won’t let them hurt you, but we need the explanation.”
Ellie hesitated for a second, and looked at you to make sure that you were sure about this. When she was reassured she explained that Marlene needed you to get to the Fireflies because she believed Ellie was the key to the cure.
“Oh yeah, some new miracle thing, of course, Tess we need to go,” Joel sighed, “We can find another damn way to get the battery,”
“Fuck you man I didn’t ask for this,” Ellie snapped, and you held held her arm. Joel looked at you again, like he wanted to yell at you for even touching her.
“Go use the bathroom,” You whispered, and she looked at Joel and Tess before walking back. Tess threw a magazine for her.
“There’s not going to be anything bad in there?”
“Just you.” Ellie rolled her eyes at Joel and muttered under her breath. You looked at him and Tess.
“You guys help us through the city, help us get to the Fireflies, and get your shit then be done,” You sighed, and Joel seemed to soften a little bit, “That’s all you have to do,”
“You need to stop looking at this like she’s got some kind of future Y/n,”
“I say she’s right, we get the kid to the Fireflies, get the battery, and go get Tommy,” Tess grabbed Joel’s arm. He looked at her, and looked extremely guilty when he looked back at you.
“You guys will be done with it by the end of today.” You looked at Joel, and half expected him to proclaim his love for you. To say that he wouldn’t let you go again. He didn’t say it though, just nodded.
You all took a little bit longer of a break, and started eating your lunch. Ellie had a chicken sandwich, and offered to share some of it with you. You almost took her up on the offer, but instead told her to keep eating.
“Where did you even get chicken?” Tess asked Ellie, you were relieved she didn’t say it in a total asshole tone.
“Smugglers, apparently that’s what Marlene told me,” Ellie shrugged, and then smirked at them, “Guess not you guys though.”
You tried not to laugh, but couldn’t help the giggle that slipped out. Joel and Tess looked beyond annoyed with you both. Once everyone had eaten enough, you all started packing up again. Ellie kept asking for a gun, and all three of you had to continue to tell her no. When you started to walk again, Ellie had started following close to Tess and talking to her. Leaving you and Joel to walk together in silence. Shockingly he was the first one to break it.
“So, did you ever, well do you have a um,” Joel was awkward about it, but he wanted to know if you had something like he had in Tess. You glanced at him before shaking your head.
“No, there was a brief moment with someone, but really I’ve spent most of my time looking for..” You trailed off, because how could you tell him that instead of moving on like he seemed to have done, you were still holding out hope for him. Joel looked at you, but you kept your eyes forward on Ellie.
“Are you really going to go with her? To try and find this miracle cure?” Joel sighed, “You don’t really believe that it’s something that could work?”
That comment annoyed you, the cynical tone in his voice, “I’ve held out hope for twenty years that I would see you alive again one day, and although the circumstances are different, here you are.”
Joel went silent, and didn’t really talk to you the rest of the time. After discovering the original plan was off limits due to a swarm of infected, the four of you made your way to a museum. Ellie went back to staying close to you, you tried your best to reassure her that things were going to be okay. When you got inside though, you quickly learned they were far from okay. Judging by the body on the floor, there were clickers somewhere inside of there. You were all right of course, and they found you. You got separated from Joel and Ellie when they attacked, and you were with Tess when she got bit. She did it to protect you.
“You don’t owe me anything, I’m sleeping with your ex-fiancé after all, but don’t say anything okay? We are almost to the end, and I just..” Tess was shaking, “I will end it before I turn, but please Y/n?”
You hesitated for a minute before you grabbed her arm, gently, “Why did you save me?”
“Joel could never fully open himself up to me, because his heart still belonged to you,” Tess whispered and grabbed the ring on the chain, “He would never forgive me if I would’ve let you be the one to get bit,”
“Thank you Tess,” You whispered, and the two of you made your way to find Joel and Ellie. Ellie ran up to you once she saw you, and you checked her over to make sure she was okay. There was a bite on her arm.
“Damn, are you fucking kidding me?” Ellie sighed, before she looked around, “Well if it was going to happen to one of us..”
You and Tess exchanged a look.
“You guys okay?” Joel looked at the two of you, and Tess told him she had just hurt her ankle. He looked at you, and you shook your head. Tess just threw her life away for you, she deserved to have his attention. You guys got up to the roof and you walked across the wooden plank.
“Just across there?” Ellie asked, and started walking on the plank after you.
“Yeah I know it’s scary,” Joel said and started to help Tess with her ankle.
“That was scary, this is wood.” Ellie quipped, and you held your hand out to help her off the plank. You both exchanged a grin and walked over to the the edge. Joel came up behind you guys, and stood on the other side of Ellie. He asked Ellie if this was everything she had hoped for, and Ellie shrugged a little.
“You can’t deny that view.” Ellie sighed, then you realized that this was the first time in her life she was seeing the real world. The world on the outside of the QZ.
Tess walked ahead of everybody the rest of the time. You were watching carefully to make sure that she didn’t lose control too soon. Then you guys found the rendezvous point for the Fireflies to take you and Ellie. Except something was wrong, there was no other people. The four of you made your way inside the building, after Tess practically dragged Ellie in there. She was looking around, trying to find any kind of information on what they were doing with Ellie.
“Marlene just said that we have to go West,” Ellie was stumbling over her words, not understanding why Tess was suddenly freaking out. Joel was trying to get Tess to stop, he even yelled at her that it was time to go home.
“That’s not my fucking home!” Tess snapped, and Joel deflated a little, “I’m not going anywhere,”
Ellie gasped a little, “Holy shit, she’s infected..”
Tess explained to Joel that she had been bit. You felt awful for him, and watched him deflate as she explained it to him. Tess told him he had to get you guys to someone named Bill and Frank. She made him promise to get you guys where you needed to be. As she was still trying to convince him; one of the infected Fireflies started to move. Joel shot it, and you all watched anxiously as a tendril wrapped around its hand. The rest of them were coming, Tess started to dump out the gasoline and the grenades. She told Joel to save who he could save. You were ready to run with Ellie. Joel hesitated before he looked at you and grabbed Ellie to start dragging her out. Ellie fought like hell against both of you. The three of you made it out, and down the hill when the explosion happened. You and Joel aimed, waiting for infected to come running out. Once the coast was clear he started walking away. Ellie looked at you, her eyes wide. You had her start walking with you.
Later that night, a little bit outside of Boston, the three of you stopped to rest. Ellie was taking a nap underneath Joel’s jacket, the two of you were sitting in silence while she snored quietly. You sighed and looked at Joel.
“I’m sorry, about Tess,” You whispered and Joel looked at you.
“Did you know, that she was bit?”
You nodded your head slowly, “She asked me to not say anything, she wanted to be the one to tell you, seems like she really loved you,”
“If you were alive and looking for me this whole time, how did we never find one another?” Joel sighed and rubbed his face, “I mean Tommy and I looked for months, we asked anyone we could ask, and all the shit I did.. maybe it..”
He looked at you, and for a minute you saw a glimpse of the man you loved. The two of you watched one another. Neither one knowing what to say, before you sighed.
“I am happy to know you’re alive, but I need you to understand and know that Ellie is my top priority, her safety,” You whispered, “It was her mother’s dying wish, and her mother was important to me Joel,”
He looked at her before he looked back at you, “I’ll get you guys where you need to be.”
When you all got to Bill and Frank’s, they were both gone. They had died together, and left a note behind to not go into the bedroom. Ellie read the note to you guys, and you watched Joel as she did. The entire hike here, the two of them started to talk more. You couldn’t help but notice she was increasingly interested in him. The three of you decided that you needed to take a shower, especially because they had hot water. Joel told you that Frank had some women’s clothing that he rescued from the boutique that used to be in town. He had given some to Tess once. You shuffled through the house, and finally found some.
You got into the shower, and sighed happily as the feeling of hot water hit your skin. Your mind floated back to all the times you took showers at Joel’s house in Texas. That most of the time he would sneak in, and join you. The way the two of you used to just hold each other. Finally in the comfort of the shower, you relaxed enough to let yourself start crying.
First you cried for Sarah, and how desperately you wished you could’ve been there. You could’ve not gone to the convention, it wasn’t mandatory. You could’ve stayed home and maybe things would be different. Joel hadn’t even said what happened to her, you didn’t know. All you knew was that she was gone. The day after she finally called you mom, she was gone.
Then you cried for Anna, and how much Ellie reminded you of her. Six years you spent with her. The two of you wanting to find a way for the world to be a better place. You wondered how damn proud (and cocky) she would be if she knew her daughter might be the key to fix all of this. Even if you hadn’t figured out how it could work, you had to believe that it could. That Anna’s baby girl was going to be a damn superhero.
Finally, you cried for Joel. He wasn’t dead, he was in the same damn house as you. For years you imagined what your reunion would be. You imagined him running to hug you, to hold you in his arms. Except now he felt even further away, he felt like a stranger. There was a distance between the two of you, a kind of cold distance that made you want to throw up. It made you angry because in another life, you two would’ve been getting ready to celebrate twenty-years of marriage. Maybe you two would’ve had another kid. Maybe you would’ve still gotten to know Anna, and Ellie one day.
There was a slight knock at the door that brought you out of your moment. You shut the water off and wiped your eyes. After you wrapped a towel around yourself you opened the door a crack to see Joel standing there, he looked at you for a moment.
“We should probably hit the road soon, and I found some deodorant for us to use.” He held it out for you, and you took it before you closed the door. You stared at the clothes on the counter, and quickly got dressed.
You gathered some of the supplies you had grabbed, and the gun you took. You helped Joel get the truck loaded up, this time it was your turn to be silent. You didn’t trust yourself to say anything without crying. Joel made Ellie promise that she listened to him too, she looked at you for reassurance and you nodded your head. The three of you started on the road. The first few hours
“Hey! Look what I found,” Ellie handed you a tape, “Joel does this make you all nostalgic?”
“It was actually before my time,” Joel nodded as you put the tape in, “Still a classic though.”
After finding a certain male magazine, Ellie was done torturing you both with her fifty million questions. She passed out in the backseat, mouth hanging open. You looked out the window, and watched everything going by in the window. You were going through the Midwest at the moment, in what used to be Indiana. You remembered taking a trip there with your parents when you were younger, to visit the town they went to high school in. Part of you realized that you were happy they passed away when you were eighteen, because then they didn’t have to live through all of this. You absentmindedly started to play with the ring, sliding it back and forth on the chain.
“You kept it all this time huh?” Joel whispered, the last thing he wanted was to wake up Ellie.
“Mhm, wore it on my finger for awhile, then I almost lost it one day so I found a necklace for it instead,” You looked at him, your head leaning back against the seat.
“When we find Tommy, he isn’t going to believe his eyes that you’re alive,” Joel looked at you, “He never gave up hope that you were still out there,”
“But you did?”
Joel stayed quiet, and went back to keeping his eyes on the road. You watched the side of his face, and noticed his jaw clenching. Then your eyes focused on the light scar, you remembered him explaining to Ellie earlier that it was from somebody who shot and missed. He looked older now, but in a sexy silver fox kind of way. The same way you always imagined him to look when you used to picture your lives together. There were a few more scars than you imagined, but they seemed to make him that more attractive.
“You know, your face is still too easy to read, it’s okay that you gave up Joel, you lost a lot,” You whispered, and paid close attention to his face, you looked down at your lap, “Sarah, did she… Was she in-”
“No,” Joel shook his head, “No it wasn’t because she was infected.”
The tone in his voice told you to stop pushing the subject. So you stayed quiet, and watched out of the window again. The obvious coldness and distance from Joel made you uneasy, it made your heart ache even more than it did when you thought he was gone forever. He was right there, you could reach out and touch him right now…. Yet he never felt so far away from you.
next part
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the fucking realization on her face as it settles in what he means 😭. poor girl got the rite of passage “dad trauma dumping” moment
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Little Moments in Time
You and Sarah make dinner for Joel and Tommy before you leave for a business trip. The world then falls apart, and you find yourself separated from your family. 20 years later, a weird twist of events leads you back to the man you loved.
Pairing: joel x fem!reader
themes/warning: oh yeah, there is angst this time, death and violence, pain and sadness, with a little bit of fluff if you squint <3 also, there are some parts that i tried really hard to do extra research on so it wasn't like completely off trail from the canon storyline, but I couldn't find much.
part one
september 24th, 2003
You and Sarah both danced around the kitchen, while you made barbecue chicken and rice. It was supposed to be spaghetti night, but after your recent trip to the doctors and finding out you had celiac disease, gluten free options started to be incorporated. Joel and Sarah definitely didn't mind though, because both of them thought the things you cooked instead were great. Joel didn't even notice some of the differences in the things you made sometimes.
"So, what is it you're doing again? On your trip?" Sarah asked as she grabbed down a can of corn from the cabinet. You looked at it and made a mental note to make sure Joel went shopping for groceries.
"So now that I am an actual nurse, I am going to Chicago to help out with some younger college students somethings I know about nursing," You explained to Sarah, who smiled and nodded. She loved your job, and was always so curious about the things with it. Joel teased that Sarah would follow in your footsteps.
"When you get back, we are going shopping for my maid of honor dress right?" Sarah poured the corn into a small pot.
"Yes we are, are you excited?" You nudged her with your elbow, and she giggled before nodding.
Things had been official between both you and Joel since the week after your second date. You went everywhere with him and Sarah by then, all of her soccer games, every school recital, and every moment. By the fourth year of dating, you gave up the apartment life and moved in with them. Then last year, Joel finally proposed after dragging his feet for so long. You didn't mind the delay though, because life for the two of you already seemed so perfect.
"Oh damn it smells great in here!" Tommy exclaimed as he came through the door, he grinned at the two of you when he came into the kitchen.
"Hey, how was work?" You turned off the stove, and grabbed the plates that Sarah had already gotten down. Joel came in behind Tommy, and gave Sarah a quick kiss on the head. He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, as you made Sarah a plate.
“It was shit, don’t let Tommy tell you any different, the bastard didn’t tell me how anyone the guys we have to work with are this time,” Joel laughed, “The plans are coming along though, and we should be able to start on it within the next day or two,”
“Well hopefully your string of good luck continues babe,” You kissed his cheek, and handed him Sarah’s plate, “Tommy you can come make a plate,”
“Thanks Y/n, you know I still don’t understand why Joel got to end up with you?” Tommy made his eight year old joke. Joel flipped him off and made his plate and made a plate for you.
“Hm, I mean if I remember correctly, you were too busy making out with one of my best friends?” Sarah laughed, covering her mouth to stop the water she had just drank from spraying out. She started coughing a little, but she was still laughing at your comeback.
“How is my dear old friend doing?” Tommy came behind Joel and grabbed his plate to start making it. You grabbed three beers out of the refrigerator for the Miller brothers, and yourself. Everyone sat down at the table together, and started talking about your days. Sarah talked about a test she passed. Tommy told an embarrassing story about Joel from the day. Joel squeezed your hand while you talked about your flight leaving in the morning. Tommy headed out a little bit after you cleaned up from dinner. You helped Sarah get her curls into a style that would help keep them from getting ruined during the night. Once she was all set, you and Joel started your night time routine.
Once you thought Joel was done with the shower, you climbed in. You sighed happily as the water rinsed over your skin. Before your hair was even completely wet, Joel climbed back into the shower. You rolled your eyes but turned to look at him. Joel was unapologetically looking you up and down, and pulled you against him.
“I figured I could rinse the grime off of me before I ambushed you,” Joel shrugged, and explained his reasoning for not just suggesting a shower together in the first place.
“Joel Miller, are you trying to seduce me before marriage?” You teased, and he shook his head.
“Mm, no, no I don’t think I would ever do such a thing?” Joel started to kiss your jaw and neck, his hands resting on your lower back, fingers just barely tracing the top of the curve of your ass.
“Sarah isn’t asleep yet, so this is holding off for right now,” You played with the hair at the nape of his neck, not really wanting the touches to stop. Joel groaned but still pulled back, smoothing your now wet hair down and out of your face.
“I don’t know how her or I are going to do without you for a whole five days?” Joel whispered, and kissed your forehead, “Sar’s cooking lessons better have been paying off, if she’s going to be cooking for me on my birthday,”
“She will do phenomenal, she wants to make you pancakes, I know you’re super stressed with work, but I left you a grocery list so you can make sure you make her dreams come true,”
“Isn’t it supposed to be my dreams coming true? It’s my birthday?” You glared at him, and started washing your hair. Joel swatted your hands away and helped you scrub the shampoo into your scalp.
“I’ll get the pancake mix, we will call you while eating our pancakes, you can sing me happy birthday while I do,” Joel teased, and helped get your hair rinsed out. You leaned your head back and he kissed your neck gently.
“Then when I get home, her and I go to pick out her dress, pick up my dress, and then we will be two weeks out from me marrying you, old man,” You wrapped your arms around him, and pecked his lips, “Cold feet?”
“I’m about to be thirty-six years old, and I’m marrying the most beautiful, smart, and loving woman I have ever met,” Joel’s voice was softer now, “The same woman who loves that awesome daughter of mine, plus she’s a bit younger than me so that totally boosts my ego,”
You raised an eyebrow and he laughed a little.
“My feet are as hot as they could be Y/n.”
september 25th, 2003
Joel drove you and Sarah to the airport in your car. Sarah teared up more the closer you got to the security. You were quick to pull her into a tight hug.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay, it’s only five days and I will be home,” You whispered, trying your hardest to fight back your own tears, “You can call me each day too, I won’t mind, I have my cell,”
“I love you mom.” Sarah blurted it out so fast, that both you and Joel were taken aback by it. You didn’t hesitate for too long though before you were holding her even tighter. Joel pulled both of you into a group hug, and everyone said their I love you’s. No one said goodbye, just reminders that you would be home soon. That this was only a temporary thing.
You didn’t let yourself fully cry until you were on the plane, and you cried until you landed. Sarah called you mom, for the first time in eight years, she called you mom. It made your heart swell ten times the size it already was. Sarah held such a special place in your heart, that was never a doubt. There was a certain kind of satisfaction knowing that you held the same spot in hers.
You got off the plane and took the cab to the hotel, that was where you first met the next person who would change the course of your life for the next twenty-years. She was twenty-four years old, and with her best friend. The two of them were laughing in the lobby of the hotel, but hers was the loudest. She was going to be your mentee during the trip, but in the end she was so much more.
“Oh!” She finally saw your name tag, and waved you down, “You’re Y/n! I’m Anna, I guess you’re in charge of me for this whole thing huh?”
“Anna, it’s great to meet you,” You shook her hand and then her friend’s.
“I’m Marlene, not here for the nursing stuff, just this annoying person right here.” Marlene nudged Anna, who had no problem nudging back.
Marlene went on her own adventure, while you and Anna went to the first activity. It was in the local hospital, and the senior nurses explained how the next five days would be. Anna was a jokester, and you knew that she was going to cause a bit of trouble. Still though, she was fun to be around. The first day went by really quick just with her jokes alone.
That night after a bar outing with Marlene, you and Anna were in your hotel room together. She was sitting in the chair that was to your desk, with her feet propped up on the bed you were sitting on. The two of you were talking about anything and everything. Just bonding over whatever you could find.
“Okay, so you’re only thirty, you’re about to be married and a step-mom?” Anna laughed, and you nodded with a grin on your face.
“You know, I don’t like the step part of it, but I do like the sound of mom,” You smiled, thinking about Sarah, “Joel, my fiancé, does nothing but tell me about how I saved them, but in reality they saved me more than they know,”
“I can’t even imagine where I will be in six years, at thirty, but it definitely doesn’t feel like I would be a mother.”
september 26th, 2003
You, Anna, and Marlene were all in your hotel room. The emergency broadcast was going off, and you were all watching everything unfold. When your cellphone started to ring, you answered it before the second ring went off. It was Sarah, and she was asking if you knew what was happening.
“I woke up and Dad isn’t here, and-” Sarah screamed a little, and the line went dead. Your entire body started to shake.
“Sarah?! Sarah, baby! Sarah!” You were yelling into the phone, hoping that her voice would come through the dial tone. You never got to hear her voice again though.
The next three days, were more torture than you could even imagine. The three of you were all escorted out of the hotel by military eventually, and made your way to a safe zone. It didn’t feel safe though, none of it did. You put Sarah, Joel, and Tommy on a name list. So that it could be broadcasted soon enough. Eventually you were all within a QZ. You waited everyday for any sign of the Millers, hoping they would eventually show up. It didn’t take long before you all started to catch onto the bullshit that was FEDRA, and that was when the Fireflies became a part of your life.
2009
You found the safe house, Marlene should have been there already. Then you heard the screams, and you ran around to the backside of the house. You went through the back door, and busted into a bedroom. Anna was on the floor, a baby with an umbilical cord still attached laying in front of her, and an infected dead off to the side. Anna was breathing heavy, and the baby was crying.
“You k-know how I said I couldn’t see my self being a mother at thirty?” Anna was breathing heavily as you rushed closer, she cut the umbilical cord with her own knife and started to tie it off, “Looks like I was wrong, but also right,”
She bent her leg out, and you saw the bite on her inner thigh. Your entire heart stopped and you dropped down to your knees. Anna was shaking a bit, but she picked up her baby anyways. The tiny infant calmed down looking at her mother.
“Anna, what are we going to do? I mean Marlene should be here soon, but was the baby? I mean?” You were stumbling over all your words. The girl who had become your family was dying, and there was nothing you could do.
“You are going to take Ellie, wait for Marlene downstairs, and I am going to ask you one last favor Y/n,” Anna whispered, “Make sure she’s loved, make sure she’s safe, and please kill me before I hurt you,”
“No, no, I’ll take her soon, I’ll go downstairs, but I can’t.. Marlene will be here soon, she needs to get to say goodbye Anna, and you h-have a little time, spend these last minutes with your daughter,” You sat against the wall next to Anna, watching her with the baby. She glared at you for a moment, before giving up and looking at Ellie.
“She’s so damn beautiful Y/n, and I will.. I will never get to see what she becomes,” Anna whispered, “If anyone asks, y-you know I cut the umbilical cord before I was bit? They would never let her live other wise,”
“If they ask, I was here the entire time.” You whispered, and laid your head on her shoulder.
2023
Every part of you wanted to kill Marlene, for dragging you back to Boston. After you knew Ellie was safe, you decided to set out and try and find whatever you could about the Millers. Any kind of sign of what happened to them. Now, fourteen years later you were back at your original QZ. After they ran their tests, and you lied and explained you were coming from the fallen QZ in Chicago, they let you inside. You showed up at the building Marlene had explained to you over the radio, and made your way inside. You quietly snuck your way in, your gun ready to shoot at any sign of trouble.
You slowly went up the stairs, and then heard a loud thud. When you made it to the top, you saw Marlene holding her side, with another woman standing next to her. There was a man and a woman with their backs turned to you, and a younger girl on the floor.. A girl who looked almost identical to her mother.
“Get your gun out of her face.” You snapped, and the man turned around. Then your entire heart fell down into your stomach even more than it was seeing Ellie.
He was standing there, and he was alive. Marlene was watching the both of you, waiting for the blow up. His eyes though, they stayed on you, and then trailed to the chain around your neck. Hanging off of it was a simple diamond ring, that he remembered clear as day picking out with his daughter. He looked older, seemed different, but yet you felt like home was standing only a few feet in front of you. You lowered your gun and glanced at Ellie, who was staring at you like she knew exactly who you were. In reality, she might have, she did have a picture of you that you slipped in with her stuff when you left her at the military school. It was your picture name tag from the convention you met her mom at.
“Y/n?” Ellie and Joel said your name at the same exact time, and for a moment it sounded like the world stood still.
next part
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Mundane Moments
Joel forgets to cancel his second date with you when Sarah gets sick, you show up at the house thinking you’re still going , and instead get to meet his daughter for the first time.
Pairing: joel x fem!reader
themes/warnings: a bit of an age gap (6 yrs), fluffy lovey dovey stuff, pre-outbreak, a bit of angsty sadness, should there be more parts? i think so but idk. ok thanks byeee
june 1995
You were anxious, trying to decide the best time of early to show up at your date’s house. He had insisted on just picking you up, but you were staying later at work so you insisted back that you just meet him there. It was casual, just a movie and then some dinner. So you just decided to put on jean shorts with the satin blouse you had worn to work that day. As a joke you bought him flowers, to tease the fact he was offended you wouldn’t let him pick you up.
Technically you met Tommy Miller first, at the bar with your friends. He had been flirting with one of your best girlfriends, and offered to buy you all drinks. Then about an hour later, his brother showed up. Joel was older than the rest of you, six years older than you at the time. Everyone teased him about looking like the grumpy-old dad hanging around. Eventually Tommy had snuck off somewhere with your friend, and Joel looked bored of every other person there.
“You know, if you pretend like you’re having a good time, they might leave you alone,” You whispered, as you sat down in the chair next to him at the table. All of your other friends were off doing who knows what.
“Tommy dragged me along here, I told him I really didn’t want to, my daughter has a soccer game in the morning and..” He paused as if he had just said the wrong thing, “Sorry, you don’t care about that, you’re what? Twenty-one? A bar on a Friday night is your playground,”
You laughed, “I’m twenty-two actually, and really I’m only here to make sure no one ends up dead, also who said I didn’t care about your daughter’s soccer game? How old?”
“She’s six, her name is Sarah, I’ve got a picture here..”
After Joel showed you the picture of his little girl, the two of you sat and talked all night. Eventually he helped you get your friends back home, offering to drive whoever was still there so you didn’t have to call a cab. No one else wanted to leave at that moment, but you took him up on the offer. During the ride back to your apartment, the two of you continued to ask little questions about one another. He even got out to open your door, and walk with you to the front door. That was when he asked you out on your first date, and it went perfectly. So perfect that half-way through you both knew you wanted a second one.
You pulled into his driveway, and knocked on the front door. When Joel opened it though, he looked shocked to see you there, then disappointed. He was still wearing pajama pants, and an old t-shirt. Then you started to feel embarrassed, and thinking that you might have misread the situation. Maybe even forgot what days you had decided on.
“Did I..”
“I called your home phone instead of the work phone, I left a voicemail, I have to reschedule, Sarah has the stomach flu and she’s been puking all day,” Joel sighed, “Y/n I am so damn sorry, she’s only been sick one other time, and I’m trying to get her to eat but everything makes her more sick,”
“Joel, take a breath,” You smiled, and behind him you saw a little girl in a nightgown/t-shirt that was clearly Joel’s come into view behind him, “Can I come in?”
“Uh, yeah, place is a mess but yeah,” Joel turned around and saw Sarah standing there, he picked her up and moved back so you could come inside. You smiled at the fact that it really was a mess, and he wasn’t just being dramatic. Then you noticed Joel’s attempts at getting her to eat, and all of it was definitely too heavy for a sick six year old’s stomach.
“How about this, I am going to run back out to the store, and get stuff to make a soup that my grandma always made for me, and some gatorade for her too,” You looked at everything on the ground and table, “Then I can grab us some drinks, and help you get this place back in order,”
“I really couldn’t ask you to do that Y/n, if you want to just head home and I’ll call you when she’s-”
“Oh you’re not asking, I’m telling how this night is about to go, Sarah is that okay with you?” You smiled at her, “Oh, I’m Y/n Y/l/n, I’ve heard all about you being a soccer champion,”
“I’m Sarah Miller,” She smiled back at you, before she whispered rather loudly to Joel: “Uncle Tommy was right daddy she is super pretty she should stay.”
Joel smiled at her, before he told you to wait so he could grab his wallet for you. After he gave you some cash, you left for the store. You got all of the necessary ingredients, and even got Sarah some popsicles and crackers too. When you got back to the Miller house, Joel was waiting by the front door to help you with some of the bags. He got Sarah settled on the couch, with some water mixed with her Gatorade. After he turned on a movie for her, he came to the kitchen to help you.
“Do you need anything? Like ingredients wise? We got some seasoning up top,” He sounded nervous, and it was making your heart swell that much more. Joel looked like he belonged on the cover of some magazine that talked about how to build a log cabin with your bare hands. He was muscular, and incredibly handsome. Yet, seeing how nervous and awkward he was fumbling around his own kitchen was enough to make you like him even more.
“No, I pretty much have everything I need, really it’s just like canned chicken noodle soup, just no chicken or noodles,” You continued to cut up some of the carrots, “The broth will help her stomach, and the veggies will give her some kind of nutrients,”
“And the popsicles?”
“Oh, those are just for fun,” You shrugged. Joel looked at you for a second, a soft smile on his face, “Actually, if it’s not too much to ask, could I borrow some clothes? If I’m not going out into public I would really like to get out of these,”
“Yeah, yeah I’ll go grab you some stuff.” Joel went and grabbed you what he called his “old tshirt” but you could tell it was relatively new, and a pair of sweatpants. You had him take over on making sure the carrots and celery got softer, and went to change. When you got back into the kitchen, he was pouring some into a bowl for Sarah.
“I grabbed us some actual food too by the way, I figured we could make it after she gets to sleep,” You offered and Joel paused for a second.
Then he walked over to you, and pulled you into a kiss. When he kissed you at the door the night of your first date, you were convinced nothing could be better. This kiss right now though, topped every kiss you had ever had. Joel held your waist, pulling you closer into him. Your entire body melted against him, pure bliss filling up every part of your body. It wasn’t until the two of you heard a quiet giggle from the doorway that you broke apart.
“I’m soooo telling Uncle Tommy.” Sarah teased and both you and Joel were bright red. He picked her up and took her back to the couch. You followed behind with her soup, and sat down with them to watch the movie she had decided on. After Sarah had soup (and a popsicle) in her stomach, Joel carried her upstairs to her bedroom.
You went back to the kitchen and put the leftover soup in a Tupperware container. You got started on making burgers for you and Joel . By the time he came back in the kitchen, you were putting the patties on a plate for you both.
“I left the stove on low, I wasn’t sure if you wanted cheese on it or not,” You started making your own plate, and Joel grabbed two beers out of the fridge for you both.
“Hey, I didn’t really, y’know properly apologize for our plans being ruined,” Joel sighed, as he put his patty back on the pan to let some cheese melt onto it, “I owe you an actual date,”
“I mean, the bar was incredibly low, but I think this might be one of the best dates I have ever had,” You took a bite of your burger, and watched as his face lit up, “Sarah is even cuter than I imagined she be,”
“Yeah, she knows it too, she seems to really like you,” Joel turned the stove off, “It’s just been her and I for a long time now, so I wasn’t even planning on introducing you guys until I could see where this was going,”
“I’m sorry if I intruded,”
“Hey, no, you didn’t and she was able to actually keep something in her stomach without wanting to puke again,” Joel cut you off, “Last time she was sick the neighbors next door helped out, but they’re out of town right now,”
“You can tell me to shut up if this is pushing too hard, but is her mom in the picture? I would hate to step on toes,”
“No, she um, she split when Sarah was still a baby,” Joel took a bite of his food, the silence settling between you two, “I know that’s pretty heavy, but yeah Sarah never even knew her really,”
“I can’t imagine ever doing that to a person, especially my own baby,” You frowned, “Well even in the few hours I’ve known her, and the three weeks I’ve known you, she fucked up big time,”
“Sarah and I get by, we’ve got Tommy too,” Joel looked at you, “And hopefully you haven’t been scared off yet and maybe we can start throwing you into mix?”
“Are you kidding? Sarah and I are besties now, didn’t you hear? She’s going to make me a bracelet and everything, so I guess you get that third date Miller.”
Joel nodded, a small smirk on his face. The two of you finished your food, and went out to the couch to watch a movie together. Joel wrapped his arm around you, as you leaned into his side. Your head was somewhat resting against his chest, and you could hear every heartbeat and breath. It didn’t take long before you found yourself hoping for another kiss. Luckily, he seemed to have the same idea, and tilted your chin up towards him.
His lips were soft against yours, and your entire body was practically tingling from just his touch. Soon enough you were on his lap, your hands in his hair, as the kiss deepened. Joel’s fingers were calloused, but the way they traced against your lower back was so gentle and soft. He started to kiss down your neck, your head leaning back a little bit to give him more space. When he started to lightly suck on the soft spot of your neck, you couldn’t help but whimper a little. You tugged his hair, and could feel that same smirk from earlier against your neck.
Things probably would have escalated even further, if it weren’t for the sound of Sarah getting out of bed. You both were quick to fix to yourselves, and go back to just sitting next to each other. Joel got up when he heard Sarah actually come down to the bottom of the stairs, you followed to go check upstairs and make sure that she didn't need her room to be cleaned up.
"Hey baby girl, you okay?" Joel whispered, picking her up. She nodded and laid her head against his shoulder, her eyes heavy.
"Can I snuggle with you and Y/n?" Sarah got the words out in between her yawns. Joel looked at you for a second.
"I can head out if you need me to?" You offered, you didn't want to intrude anymore on their night than you already had. Sarah shook her head quickly though, and so did Joel.
The three of you went back to the couch, and you switched the movie to something else Sarah would want to watch. Sarah requested that she get to be in the middle, and she laid her head in Joel's lap with her feet across you. Joel wrapped his arm back around you and pulled you closer into his side. Soon enough, the three of you were all asleep.
All snuggled together on the couch, with the beginnings of a short lived happy family.
part two
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Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey Behind the Scenes of The Last of Us (2023)
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