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schmergo · 1 day
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i can not believe how much doing the bare minimum stresses me out
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schmergo · 1 day
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Dracula voice: I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for my lawyer, his wife, his wife’s girlfriend, his wife’s girlfriend’s fiancé and their extra boyfriends the Cowboy and the doctor and the doctor’s thesis advisor who knows how to kill vampires for some reason!
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schmergo · 1 day
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thinking about them
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schmergo · 1 day
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schmergo · 1 day
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Today I learned there has only been one documented birth of a hybrid African/ Asian elephant.
His name was Motty, he was born at the Chester Zoo, and he only lived for 10 days due to an umbilical infection.
I was so curious to see what he looked like, so I looked him up.
He looked ANGRY TO BE ALIVE.
Same, Motty.
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schmergo · 10 days
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Anon said: This one may be stupid but mine color change so I never know
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Feel free to tag your eye colour!
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schmergo · 10 days
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Yes, these Muppets have taken Manhattan. The question now is can they HOLD it
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schmergo · 11 days
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schmergo · 11 days
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phrasing of this is taking me out
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schmergo · 11 days
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dream job is to be that one rotted hand that bursts out of the grave to snatch some stupid idiot by the ankles and pull them under the earth
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schmergo · 11 days
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Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. But you can hear it and more Sith legends thanks to today's sponsor, Audible
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schmergo · 12 days
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Guess what day it is!
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schmergo · 12 days
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I KNOW I told this story before on my old blog but I don’t care bc it’s topical.
In second grade we kept a journal and every day when we got to class there was a prompt on the board to journal about. I LOVED this because it was my daily chance to draw in class. It was the only thing in school I was good at.
One day we were prompted to describe our favorite thing about the field trip we went on the day prior, and I said I liked going to the fast food place with a playground for lunch.
I drew an intricate scene depicting children playing in a 1990s indoor fast food playground, but I included a skeleton at the bottom of the ball pit, which I thought was a true stroke of comedic & artistic genius.
But my teacher found it disturbing so after class she brought my mom in and put the drawing in front of me and asked me to explain my thought process, which is already a lot to ask of a seven year old,
but luckily my artistic vision could not have been clearer and I did indeed have the backstory for the ballpit skeleton all laid out in my mind’s eyes.
I looked at them both and said as obviously as possible, “stayed in there too long.”
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schmergo · 12 days
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schmergo · 12 days
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schmergo · 12 days
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listen up chucklefucks, i just gotta say. I'm not defending zir, but I'm sad zie deactivated. Like, i get that trauma lasts a long time and the good stuff is maybe easy to forget?? so maybe it's just like that. And my beloved mutual @/pompeyspuppygirl made a post about zir clout chasing behavior, which is pretty shitty behavior if it's true (and if we're canceling someone it had better be pretty severe). anyways now that zie's gone pompeyspuppygirl said it was okay to make this post (again, thanks ppg everyone go follow her --really everyone in this whole drama is worth a follow)
ANYways yeah zie was my mutual and like, reblogged a lot my smaller posts. (that isn't to discredit what my mutual pompeyspuppygirl is saying about zie clout chasing ofc). AND idk zie was always reblogging art from new and undiscovered artists and reblogging donation posts (which if you don't know is really bad if you're trying to clout chase...) (again, though, ppg is my mutual i believe her.) and like, remember on valentines day i tried to blaze zir posts and zie told me to stop because zie didn't want the posts to go viral? (but again ppg is my mutual and has a lot of proof in the Google doc I'm not trying to disprove that I'm just saying what else I know)
Idk, like i feel like a lot of people loved zir's blog a while back, bc like zie DID make some good posts?? So idk why everybody's acting like they aren't even a little bit sad.,. like ngl this feels like maybe all the reasonable people left to Twitter and all the Twitter refugees who love drama came here??? shdfhhdhdhdhdh haha but idk...look idk, i just, julie i do miss you. idk. more thoughts later sorry I'm getting worked up shshs
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schmergo · 12 days
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chess the musical is like the theatre version of ‘i can fix him’. the show is nearly 40 years old. every single production seems to fundamentally misunderstand it in some way. yet somehow every single chess enjoyer listens to it once and becomes convinced that if you were allowed to stage chess the musical your version would actually be the Best and Most Correct and you actually understand it better than anyone else who’s staged it before
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