servantborn - Tumblr blog

[servantborn]

having to make soren sad is the hardest thing about playing this sentient trash heap

[servantborn]

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’ ‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’ ‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’ ‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’ ‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’ ‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’ ‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’ ‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’ ‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’ ‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’ ‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’ ‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’ ‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’ ‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’ ‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’ ‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’ ‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’ ‘  i am fucking divine.  ’ ‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’ ‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’ ‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’ ‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’ ‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’ ‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’ ‘  i bow to no man.  ’ ‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’ ‘  i cannot be saved.  ’ ‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’ ‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’ ‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’ ‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’ ‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’ ‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’ ‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’ ‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’ ‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’ ‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’ ‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’ ‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’ ‘  i have no home anymore.  ’ ‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’ ‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’ ‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’ ‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’ ‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’ ‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’ ‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’ ‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’ ‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’ ‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’ ‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’ ‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’ ‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’ ‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’ ‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’ ‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’ ‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’ ‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’ ‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’ ‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’ ‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’ ‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’ ‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’ ‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’ ‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’ ‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’ ‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’ ‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’ ‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’ ‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’ ‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’ ‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’ ‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’ ‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’ ‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’ ‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’ ‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’ ‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’ ‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’ ‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’ ‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’ ‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’ ‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’ ‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’ ‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’ ‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’ ‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’ ‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’ ‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’ ‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’ ‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

[servantborn]

trasic‌:

“NO!” Spoken fast, panting and already panicked. He feels warm; like the heat of the sun is upon him. There’s an anger inside him. He can’t deny that… they have taken away both of his parents; have intended to his brother away too. There is so much wrong with that – two wrongs never made a right. But what about making a wrong… a right.

That’s all dark magic is. Doing something for a purpose – being strong willed enough to endure.

“You’re talking crazy! We can’t, we can’t keep hitting harder every time they hurt us. It will just keep making people get hurt! Haven’t we lost enough already?!” Callum doesn’t know why he’s pleading with him – Viren’s always been determined. That’s how he views him; determined and scary. The way he carried himself, always so sure, never stumbling… more confident than his step-dad; wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around?

“I still have Ez. I haven’t lost everything, I have Aunt Amaya and Gren and…”

He’ll never feel one of his mother’s hugs again. Ezran won’t even remember her face within a few years. He can’t remember his other father’s face; why would Ezran be any different? All of that was taken from them… and for what? What was the reason? Callum was never told – he’d be more angry, he thinks, if he did know. He shuts his eyes tight, just for a moment, for a moment he can remember the allure to dark magic…

But now he doesn’t really need it does he? Only when necessary – an extra tool in his belt… the sky arcanum is one of the first he’s learned – there’s more, there’s more… he can keep Ezran safer.

…it’s dangerous when Viren makes sense.

“We’re not burning anything down.” Callum speaks with strain; a tremble in his voice. He is more scared of himself for listening than Viren’s own words.

snoitpecrep rieht dnoyeb ssergorp ot dna;;

Never did he suppose that the RABBIT-HEARTED boy might turn FLIGHT INTO FANGS.   His folly, then, that blinded his focus and turned to chaos an unyielding disgust for the choice to DIE LIKE A CORNERED DOG in the stead of leading your people onwards against the force that claimed all that you loved.          They believed they were LESSER than even the mounts they rode,                         they were content to burn them down as insects.  This was not some grand struggle against equal forces looking to claim territory,    it was a MASSACRE each time,  one that he barely managed to reap a single victory from. And now, only NOW, was the playing field at all in their favor.

        “And yet, only we recall the names of those they have killed. Quite a bit unmatched, when one can get miffed at vipers for biting an individual in their attempt to claim food,            Only to turn around the set fire to the whole nest for their ‘crimes’.“

A WHOLE NATION HAD BEEN SAVED, and not once did the DRAGON KING inquire as to why they were there - The reason? BECAUSE THEY WERE LESS THAN VERMIN IN HIS EYES. A flourish of the wrist, and writhing power slithered as a ghastly fog across fabric at the High Mage’s forearm - the horror wrenched uneven jaws asunder, the image of a serpent crying havoc to the sky.

        “We, who were born with nothing, chose not to be stomped out completely.  We eat living creatures and plants, do we not? Think about it, Callum, if you consume an animal for sustenance,                                or use it for a spell to protect a loved one, is it so different?“

Patience and softness that rounded the edges of intense, rich bass, he was a father and a teacher, after all, and this was a grieving youth.

                                                                                                   | |MSITAMGARP EVITAERC ruo fo                                                                                 noissessop ekat tsrif tsum YTINAMUH sa ew

[servantborn]

i lied everyone else make me starters and send me things

[servantborn]

novalign‌:

                ❝  your losses are your own, or are you choosing instead to blame me for your shortcomings —- ? ❞  a gentle click of their tongue against the roof of the archmage’s palate. truthfully, they don’t seem too hurt if viren became otherwise cross with their performance atop the storm’s spiral. celestial elegance given corporeal form —- alas, no one said such a countenance came without a price. their wish for humanity’s dominion over xadia would ultimately cost the newly crowned king of katolis his humility. this is the truth that they can see ; that they acknowledge, and know —- for perspective history has a particular habit of repeating itself. down to the undermined stars falling so dearly for a human vassal, unconditionally —- and thus sundering their heart with the sheer pressure of it all.   ❝  but isn’t it such a thrill, darling —- ? ❞   they whisper harshly as they emerge from the magicked chrysalis, reborn anew. as their vessel was, as their daughter had managed to decrypt the woven spell to reanimate and revitalize the dead.   ❝  to gaze utter decimation in the face and to conquer it. to come back from it —- ! ❞  their existence is a cycle ; a star flickers in and out of reality on a cosmic scale. and they fear naught amongst the living —- nor death itself.  ❝  you truly are a spectacular human, your majesty. ❞  for the gilded crown, as tarnished as it may be, shall remain viren’s. 

snoitpecrep rieht dnoyeb ssergorp ot dna;;

TO DIE FOR CAUSE AND KINGDOM, to take hold of mortality in a quivering vice and cast it to the ever-distant horizon - the weight of a CROWN was one he chose to shoulder in order to set the future ablaze, each loss a crackling inferno that would bring them PEACE one way or the other.       And yet, they would rather hold hands with the same MURDERERS that looked down upon them prior, who protected that which SLEW THREE MOTHERS IN ONE EVENING.    Failures upon failures, there was no trust he could have gained, he supposed, in sacrificing his existence - too far gone, they all said,                          so he swore HELLFIRE WHILE ON HIS KNEES. No - that wasn’t quite right, there was one who, if nothing else, had the capacity to comprehend his plight, a voice in your ear when you needed it... strength at your back when you could not stand.     Salacious bass a familiar cradle to worn senses, he bore witness to the BIRTH OF THE COSMOS with ill-gained, bated breath, a bed of stone and ash still holding the fallen sorcerer’s frame in the derelict outline of a coffin.

                           “Thrill...?”

An inquiry that dropped from bruised lips like an anchor, frustration blossoming in rich tenors as the calm before damnation - gravestone teeth grit then parting as a tirade formed in his throat, only to hitch, sputter and die as slate reflected wide the shimmering landscape by which the High Mage was now able to map down to the subtle hills and slopes.

                     “T ch - - !        Was it really that difficult to incubate some propriety before you emerged?                               Clothes, Aaravos.”

                                                                                                   | |MSITAMGARP EVITAERC ruo fo                                                                                 noissessop ekat tsrif tsum YTINAMUH sa ew

[servantborn]

@trasic​ for Rhys!

snoitpecrep rieht dnoyeb ssergorp ot dna;;

As such, the folly of HUMANITY was that their tenacity tended to outlive a fear of rebuttal, and a curiosity spurred by PROGRESSION allowed for ridiculous feats of bravery in the face of POWER.         BORN WITH NOTHING, YOU FIND CREATIVE WAYS TO SURVIVE. This excursion into enemy territory was... solitary, for the most part, and unmentioned to the ray of light bearing the crown of mismatched towers - supplies were required, certain items that none in their right mind would assist him in acquiring.       Ancient artifact held tight in hand, so close to the sky-touched spire that held such a gruesome enemy to their very existence... he would have sent soldiers, but subtly was a trait lacking within the Crownguard. A glistening jar at his side held fluttering remnants of Xadia’s wildlife, rife with life and magic, as other herbs were gingerly collected and stored as swiftly as was manageable without breaking delicate leaves.

                                                                                                   | |MSITAMGARP EVITAERC ruo fo                                                                                 noissessop ekat tsrif tsum YTINAMUH sa ew

[servantborn]

@loergan​

snoitpecrep rieht dnoyeb ssergorp ot dna;;

As was the paramount of suffering, a CYCLE by which escape was ill-suited to his favor, revenge was sought, and won, again and again and again - he had desolate experience with tragedy and the repercussions it wrought, that it was almost LAUGHABLE that he would have to seek vengeance for (your closest friend) a DAMNED FOOL.             (A FOOL WHO DID NOT HAVE TO DIE.)        And yet, here they were, here he was, staring down the sentient blade that cut down their precious crown, slithering DEATH embracing his form as hell alit dusky hazel, the very life essence of this elf  RIPPED from the coinprison he had first crammed the creature into.

             “ u̥̯ͅo̺͇y̸̰͈̺ͅ ͚̟̞̠̥̥̱ḑ͈̦̮̝̱ͅlo͍̗̳̮̦̻̜h̭͇͕͙̫̀ ̻̦t̩̘̦͚̘a͉̯̮̜̭͍̻ḥ̠͉̣͕t̳̭͍̰͕̱ ͙͎̩͉͚̱͕̕s͏̬̣̟̲d͉̻̮͍̪̠ṋ̲̰͙͠i̩b̶ ͕̩͜e̝h̖̤͓t̜̺̰͖̥̬ e͕̻̖̕s͘ą̪e͈̣͍̬̞͝ͅl̝̹e̛̮̥̳̫̰̩r͖̱̤̟͚̦͉ ...”

The spell complete, freedom would be fleetingly, if not potentially agonizingly, granted, though the minuscule cell was held aloft between a forefinger and thumb to emphasize how sparing the moments were.

                     “I assume you have time to chat.      As you could have guessed, you have very little choice in the matter.                    Any less than gracious intentions,                                   and you will relive your first transference tenfold.”

                                                                                                   | |MSITAMGARP EVITAERC ruo fo                                                                                 noissessop ekat tsrif tsum YTINAMUH sa ew

[servantborn]

@wickedxlegacy​ for best(?) son

snoitpecrep rieht dnoyeb ssergorp ot dna;;

A BRIGHT LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS, a TOWER built high upon a need for affirmation that was unduly genetically won, and it was not distaste that bade the High Mage to distance himself time and time again, merely a lack of definitive comprehension.     - - the boy had a good pair of shoulders to burden the physical, even if his mental agility wasn’t entirely suited for the processes by which his sibling excelled, and while he himself did not balk at direct combat, brute force was not a preferred method by which to achieve victory.

                       “It isn’t as difficult as it seems, Soren.                                      There are spells dedicated to enhancing weaponry,             if you would take the time to learn them.”

An offer, as subtle as the brisk night air, and a quiet insistence that he was not solely dedicating his time to his daughter for petty reasoning.

                                                                                                   | |MSITAMGARP EVITAERC ruo fo                                                                                   noissessop ekat tsrif tsum YTINAMUH sa ew

[servantborn]

insert your life energy i mean LIKE FOR SOMETHING

[servantborn]

It's been a loveless year, I'm a man of three fears;                                                integrity, faith and crocodile tears. //Independent Lord Viren invoked by TURTLE.||

                                                          So look me in the eyes, tell me what you see,                                                                                                            Perfect paradise t e a r i n g at the s e a m s.                                                                               //Independent Aaravos loved by LILY.||

*

[servantborn]

ugn.