skzruby

[skzruby]

Hunting for blood

Chapter warnings; mentions of depression, suggested panic attack and crying (with eventual comfort YIPPIEEE) missing persons (not yippie..)

Word count; 2.5k

ꫂ ၴႅၴ

Chapter 2

A new face

As you entered your usual office, a shocked expression spread across your face. Your eyes widened, a small gasp leaving your lips at the sight. Someone had been in here. They.. Cleaned it? It looked as tidy as ever. All your files were back where they belonged and the surfaces had been wiped down to clear any dust.

“Hope you didn’t mind me cleaning your office. It was collecting too much dust.” A voice spoke up from behind you.

“No— It’s alright. Thank you, Minyun…” I mumbled, turning round to face my boss. He was leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at you with a pitiful expression.

A small, teasing smile tugged at the corners of your lips at the sight before you spoke up playfully. “Ohh I see, you care about me.”

“No— Well yes— But no, it was collecting dust..” Minyun replied back, stumbling over his words as he tried to get them out in a way where you would believe him. You were rather close with Minyun, he didn’t tend to show care or any form of affection to anyone but you think he sees you as a child, someone to be cared for and looked after.

“I appreciate it.” You spoke up sincerely, honesty laced into your tone as you nodded once at him, pressing your lips together in a thin line to imitate a small smile. He nodded back, mimicking your expression.

“How have you been?” He asked carefully, his voice noticeably quieter than it was before. He shifted on his feet, moving further into your office as he closed the door behind him and opted for leaning against your desk instead.

“Uh, I’m doing okay..I think.” You spoke unsurely. You knew you were doing bad, you just didn’t know how to say it without feeling dramatic. Were you just meant to blurt out ‘I’m depressed!!’ or ‘I hope to never wake up again!’?. Of course not, that's absurd. Isn’t it?

“You can tell me the truth, I would never judge you Ruby. You know that.” Minyun spoke up again, his voice more sympathetic now. His eyes showed a hint of hope that you would open up or atleast give him some insight into how you were feeling. Keeping it bottled up wasn’t a good idea, you would eventually explode like a bomb. A ticking time bomb, huh?

“I’m— I’m getting there. Well, I’m trying to.” You mumble eventually, your eyebrows curling in a frown as you look down at your feet, your fingers picking at the skin around your nails, a nervous habit you had picked up as a kid and never let go of. You weren’t exactly the best at expressing yourself through words, your emotions felt like puzzle pieces that were impossible to put together. Jisung helped you figure out the words, and in return you helped him with his problems but of course he wasn’t here now and you had seemed to forget everything.

“I’m always here, even if you just need someone to listen.” He added softly with a small sigh as his eyes were trained on your weakening expression. He could tell you were struggling, but he wasn’t going to force you to talk.

He let out another sigh, rubbing the spot in between his eyebrows to ease some tension. “Don’t work too late, alright? I can’t have my best detective burnt out.” He spoke up again, trying to lighten the mood as a small chuckle escaped from his chest.

A small smile pulled at your mouth, his way of refreshing the atmosphere making you feel slightly better, more comfortable.

“I know, I won’t– Oh, and I wanna be working on Jisung’s case, please.” You spoke, looking at him with slight nervousness at the last part. You already figured what his answer would be, but it was worth asking.

“Absolutely not.” MInyun replied immediately, already heading out of your office without another word. He wasn’t annoyed at the request, he just knew you would pester him, and he definitely wasn’t going to stick around for that. You chuckled as he walked out with a shake of his head, turning round the corner until he was out of your sight. You turned around, looking at your desk with a heavy breath before shaking off any thoughts and clearing your mind as you moved round swiftly, taking a seat in the all too familiar chair.

You understood his perspective and why you weren’t allowed to work on the case, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to try and be allocated as a detective on it. This was your job. You unpacked your bag– Well, taking out your half full water bottle and the singular pen you decided might be useful.

As your eyes scanned over the checklist that Minyun had left on your desk, you couldn’t help but longer on one of the bullet points. A while ago, you had been placed on a case about a missing boy. Ironic, right? That's besides the point. The boy had mysteriously gone missing, and it was a case you were working on with Jisung. Hwang Hyunjin. It was weird, he had only been missing for a month and you guys still had no evidence or idea what had happened, Although it had only been a month – And you were guaranteed to find more information down the line – A month was still a long time for a missing person.

Jisung was so interested in this case, rambling down your ear every second of the day about how peculiar it is or giving his own stupid theories. ‘Maybe he fell through a magic portal!’ The memory of his words echoes in your mind, encouraging a slight smile to tug at one corner of your lip.

“Pshh.. A magic portal..” You mumbled, shaking your head in disapproval and humour at the memory of what he had once told you. Jisung was a weird kid, always was and always will be. He constantly had his head in something, whether that be a new case or some stupid fantasy book. Not that you weren’t also interested in fantasy books, but that boy was downright obsessed.

One time, you bought him a book off his wishlist he’d been wanting to buy for a while for christmas. And you won’t believe what he did. He actually cried, real tears. You laughed at his reaction, giving your usual head shake as you patted him on the top of his fluffed up blonde hair.

You hadn’t realised how zoned out you had become until your eyes glanced at your phone. 12:34PM. You had been sitting here – daydreaming – for an hour. Maybe you should start working..

Despite loving your job as a detective, today's shift only seemed to drag on. You felt as though you had been working for days in a row even though you had taken an entire month off work to do nothing, lay in bed and contemplate your existence. Over, and over again. You realised you might not have been ready to come back to work yet when you dug through one of your desk drawers, eyes landing on a silly picture of you and Jisung. You ran one of your index fingers over his face, wiping the dust up. Oh, Jisung.. Where were you?

You felt your breath hitch in your throat that felt like it was closing up more and more by the second, your bottom lip catching between your teeth as you bit down on it in hopes your tears would shrink back into your lifeless eyes. You feared once they started, they would never stop.

The sound of items rattling, and wood slamming together echoed in your office space as you swiftly closed the drawer. With your elbows on your desk, head in your hands, you tried to take calming breaths like Jisung once taught you back in highschool. In for 5, hold for 4, out for 7 and repeat.

Your eyes squeezed shut, fingers curling into your hair as you dug your nails into your scalp. No, It’s okay. You got this. Right? You had been too focused on breathing normally to notice the tears that had already begun rolling down your face and soon enough, loud sobs were leaving your lips despite your palm trying so hard to muffle the pained noises. You tried to imagine Jisung beside you, telling you it’ll be okay and just to take a few deep breaths. You need him, you always have and you always will.

Minjun was already on his way down to your office after being informed of your arrival by other staff members when the sound of sniffling and hiccuping reached his ears, becoming louder the closer he got to your door. He let out a small, sorrowful sigh before cracking open your door and slipping inside. Once the door was closed, he silently moved to your side of the desk, careful not to frighten you as he grasped your upper arm and pulled you up to which you complied.

His arms wrapped over your shoulders, one of his calloused hands over the back of your head where he held you to his chest, the other hand rubbing soothing circles into your shaking back. He opened his mouth to speak his first words since entering the office, his own eyes closing as a small frown pulled at his eyebrows.

“We’ll find him. I promise.”

That was it. But you knew damn well that he meant it.

He sent you back home for the day. Instead of returning home to the pit you called your bed, you called your bestfriend Yeji to let her know that you had finished early for the day, so she could meet you now instead of later on as previously planned.

You stood outside the station, back against one of the brick walls as your eyes scanned the people passing whilst you waited for your brunette friend. You were a people watcher, and everyone close to you knew it– They were curious things, people. The next person who passed by, you thought about what they could be up to or where they were headed to. Were they going on a date? Or perhaps to the nearby hospital to see a loved one. The possibilities were endless, and you couldn’t help but to skim over as many as you could. You never knew what people were thinking or going through, which is why you always aimed to be kind. That was probably just the psychology major in you though, it definitely changed your perspective on life and those who roamed this planet.

You jumped at the sudden hand on your shoulder ripping you from the deep thoughts in your mind, body jolting slightly as your head twisting to the side to see who had interrupted.

“Hey, It’s just me.” Yeji mumbled, looking at you pityingly when she noticed the exhausted, zoned out look on your face. You knew what she was thinking even if she didn’t utter a word. ‘Damn, you look like shit.’ or maybe, ‘When was the last time you slept?’. Of course she would never say that to you, Yeji was too soft for all that brutal honesty stuff unlike you.

“Yeah I know, I look like shit.” You spoke as a half assed chuckle slipped past your lips. I mean, you weren’t wrong. You had no makeup on, revealing the dark eye bags under your usual sparkly and bright blue eyes full of life. Now they were just a way to see out of the lifeless vessel you were trapped in. Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic to say, but it doesn’t erase the fact that you felt like that.

“I– What? I never said that!” Yeji blurted out, stumbling over the words she tried to put together to sound believable. Although you knew she meant no harm – She never did – You decided on teasing her anyway.

“Oh yeah, sure you didn’t. But you thought it.” You spoke, hiding back a small teasing smirk that threatened to tug at the corners of your lips. You watched her expression change from panic, to slight annoyance but you could see the care behind it.

“Yah. That’s not funny– I care about you, you know?” She spoke, a silly and grumpy pout working its way onto her face at your playful nature despite everything going on.

Miraculously another chuckle, one that actually sounded real, escaped your mouth at the sight of her frustrated look. You lifted a hand, gently patting her shoulder before beginning to lead her away from the station and down the road. Not that you knew where you were planning on going.

“Yeah, yeah. I know, I love you too.” Yeji smiled at that, walking at the same pace beside you now.

After a few minutes of walking with some light chatter and occasional giggles, both of you reached the usual cafe you would hang out at ever since you were teenagers. You always ordered the same thing - not exactly a fan of trying new things - an iced latte with 2 pumps of caramel. You always claimed coffee was too bitter for you, yet you’d accept any form of iced coffee when offered it.

“Have you– Have your co-workers found out anything about Hyunjin yet?” Yeji spoke, bringing you back to earth as you focused your attention on her instead of the window where you both took residency inside the cafe.

Shit. Hyunjin.

“Uh, no, I don’t think anyone has yet.. I’m sorry Yej..” You mumbled back, swirling your coffee around with the straw placed inside as you watched her expression fall into one of disappointment and.. Grief?

“He’s still alive.. He has to be– We’ll find him, Yej. I’ll find him” You spoke up a little more confidently now, trying to sound strong for her. There you go with that false hope again. Wow, you were surely giving out a lot of that recently huh?

“I-.. I know.. I refuse to believe he could be– My baby brother.. He wouldn’t die on me.” She shakes her head as the words tremble past her lips. You could see the slight glisten forming on her lash line. Reaching a hand over the table, you enveloped her hand inside yours as a way of showing silent support.

“He wouldn’t have just run away, right? I mean, he would have told me.” She spoke with a small dry laugh emitting from her throat.

“Of course he would have, you’re his sister. This is Hyunjin we are talking about for Christ's sake. He wouldn’t abandon anyone without saying anything– Unless they did something reasonably wrong.” You said, watching as Yejis mood began to increasingly lift, slight hope filling her eyes. A sigh of relief quietly escaped you as you gave her another soft smile.

“Yeah– Yeah.. Thanks Rubes..” You mumbles, giving the same soft smile back before retracting her hand and taking a swig of her now lukewarm coffee.

a/n; this chapter was lowkey depressing to write (for me), i hope you enjoyed it though! did you expect yeji and hyunjin to be siblings? is it too niche and stereotypical to add? maybe, but i wanted yeji to have depressing lore too (sorry for the self-projection🙏🏻)

thank you for reading this one! stick around for chapter 3 next week?

[skzruby]

Hunting for blood

Chapter warnings; mentions of depression, suggested panic attack and crying (with eventual comfort YIPPIEEE) missing persons (not yippie..)

Word count; 2.5k

ꫂ ၴႅၴ

Chapter 2

A new face

As you entered your usual office, a shocked expression spread across your face. Your eyes widened, a small gasp leaving your lips at the sight. Someone had been in here. They.. Cleaned it? It looked as tidy as ever. All your files were back where they belonged and the surfaces had been wiped down to clear any dust.

“Hope you didn’t mind me cleaning your office. It was collecting too much dust.” A voice spoke up from behind you.

“No— It’s alright. Thank you, Minyun…” I mumbled, turning round to face my boss. He was leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at you with a pitiful expression.

A small, teasing smile tugged at the corners of your lips at the sight before you spoke up playfully. “Ohh I see, you care about me.”

“No— Well yes— But no, it was collecting dust..” Minyun replied back, stumbling over his words as he tried to get them out in a way where you would believe him. You were rather close with Minyun, he didn’t tend to show care or any form of affection to anyone but you think he sees you as a child, someone to be cared for and looked after.

“I appreciate it.” You spoke up sincerely, honesty laced into your tone as you nodded once at him, pressing your lips together in a thin line to imitate a small smile. He nodded back, mimicking your expression.

“How have you been?” He asked carefully, his voice noticeably quieter than it was before. He shifted on his feet, moving further into your office as he closed the door behind him and opted for leaning against your desk instead.

“Uh, I’m doing okay..I think.” You spoke unsurely. You knew you were doing bad, you just didn’t know how to say it without feeling dramatic. Were you just meant to blurt out ‘I’m depressed!!’ or ‘I hope to never wake up again!’?. Of course not, that's absurd. Isn’t it?

“You can tell me the truth, I would never judge you Ruby. You know that.” Minyun spoke up again, his voice more sympathetic now. His eyes showed a hint of hope that you would open up or atleast give him some insight into how you were feeling. Keeping it bottled up wasn’t a good idea, you would eventually explode like a bomb. A ticking time bomb, huh?

“I’m— I’m getting there. Well, I’m trying to.” You mumble eventually, your eyebrows curling in a frown as you look down at your feet, your fingers picking at the skin around your nails, a nervous habit you had picked up as a kid and never let go of. You weren’t exactly the best at expressing yourself through words, your emotions felt like puzzle pieces that were impossible to put together. Jisung helped you figure out the words, and in return you helped him with his problems but of course he wasn’t here now and you had seemed to forget everything.

“I’m always here, even if you just need someone to listen.” He added softly with a small sigh as his eyes were trained on your weakening expression. He could tell you were struggling, but he wasn’t going to force you to talk.

He let out another sigh, rubbing the spot in between his eyebrows to ease some tension. “Don’t work too late, alright? I can’t have my best detective burnt out.” He spoke up again, trying to lighten the mood as a small chuckle escaped from his chest.

A small smile pulled at your mouth, his way of refreshing the atmosphere making you feel slightly better, more comfortable.

“I know, I won’t– Oh, and I wanna be working on Jisung’s case, please.” You spoke, looking at him with slight nervousness at the last part. You already figured what his answer would be, but it was worth asking.

“Absolutely not.” MInyun replied immediately, already heading out of your office without another word. He wasn’t annoyed at the request, he just knew you would pester him, and he definitely wasn’t going to stick around for that. You chuckled as he walked out with a shake of his head, turning round the corner until he was out of your sight. You turned around, looking at your desk with a heavy breath before shaking off any thoughts and clearing your mind as you moved round swiftly, taking a seat in the all too familiar chair.

You understood his perspective and why you weren’t allowed to work on the case, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to try and be allocated as a detective on it. This was your job. You unpacked your bag– Well, taking out your half full water bottle and the singular pen you decided might be useful.

As your eyes scanned over the checklist that Minyun had left on your desk, you couldn’t help but longer on one of the bullet points. A while ago, you had been placed on a case about a missing boy. Ironic, right? That's besides the point. The boy had mysteriously gone missing, and it was a case you were working on with Jisung. Hwang Hyunjin. It was weird, he had only been missing for a month and you guys still had no evidence or idea what had happened, Although it had only been a month – And you were guaranteed to find more information down the line – A month was still a long time for a missing person.

Jisung was so interested in this case, rambling down your ear every second of the day about how peculiar it is or giving his own stupid theories. ‘Maybe he fell through a magic portal!’ The memory of his words echoes in your mind, encouraging a slight smile to tug at one corner of your lip.

“Pshh.. A magic portal..” You mumbled, shaking your head in disapproval and humour at the memory of what he had once told you. Jisung was a weird kid, always was and always will be. He constantly had his head in something, whether that be a new case or some stupid fantasy book. Not that you weren’t also interested in fantasy books, but that boy was downright obsessed.

One time, you bought him a book off his wishlist he’d been wanting to buy for a while for christmas. And you won’t believe what he did. He actually cried, real tears. You laughed at his reaction, giving your usual head shake as you patted him on the top of his fluffed up blonde hair.

You hadn’t realised how zoned out you had become until your eyes glanced at your phone. 12:34PM. You had been sitting here – daydreaming – for an hour. Maybe you should start working..

Despite loving your job as a detective, today's shift only seemed to drag on. You felt as though you had been working for days in a row even though you had taken an entire month off work to do nothing, lay in bed and contemplate your existence. Over, and over again. You realised you might not have been ready to come back to work yet when you dug through one of your desk drawers, eyes landing on a silly picture of you and Jisung. You ran one of your index fingers over his face, wiping the dust up. Oh, Jisung.. Where were you?

You felt your breath hitch in your throat that felt like it was closing up more and more by the second, your bottom lip catching between your teeth as you bit down on it in hopes your tears would shrink back into your lifeless eyes. You feared once they started, they would never stop.

The sound of items rattling, and wood slamming together echoed in your office space as you swiftly closed the drawer. With your elbows on your desk, head in your hands, you tried to take calming breaths like Jisung once taught you back in highschool. In for 5, hold for 4, out for 7 and repeat.

Your eyes squeezed shut, fingers curling into your hair as you dug your nails into your scalp. No, It’s okay. You got this. Right? You had been too focused on breathing normally to notice the tears that had already begun rolling down your face and soon enough, loud sobs were leaving your lips despite your palm trying so hard to muffle the pained noises. You tried to imagine Jisung beside you, telling you it’ll be okay and just to take a few deep breaths. You need him, you always have and you always will.

Minjun was already on his way down to your office after being informed of your arrival by other staff members when the sound of sniffling and hiccuping reached his ears, becoming louder the closer he got to your door. He let out a small, sorrowful sigh before cracking open your door and slipping inside. Once the door was closed, he silently moved to your side of the desk, careful not to frighten you as he grasped your upper arm and pulled you up to which you complied.

His arms wrapped over your shoulders, one of his calloused hands over the back of your head where he held you to his chest, the other hand rubbing soothing circles into your shaking back. He opened his mouth to speak his first words since entering the office, his own eyes closing as a small frown pulled at his eyebrows.

“We’ll find him. I promise.”

That was it. But you knew damn well that he meant it.

He sent you back home for the day. Instead of returning home to the pit you called your bed, you called your bestfriend Yeji to let her know that you had finished early for the day, so she could meet you now instead of later on as previously planned.

You stood outside the station, back against one of the brick walls as your eyes scanned the people passing whilst you waited for your brunette friend. You were a people watcher, and everyone close to you knew it– They were curious things, people. The next person who passed by, you thought about what they could be up to or where they were headed to. Were they going on a date? Or perhaps to the nearby hospital to see a loved one. The possibilities were endless, and you couldn’t help but to skim over as many as you could. You never knew what people were thinking or going through, which is why you always aimed to be kind. That was probably just the psychology major in you though, it definitely changed your perspective on life and those who roamed this planet.

You jumped at the sudden hand on your shoulder ripping you from the deep thoughts in your mind, body jolting slightly as your head twisting to the side to see who had interrupted.

“Hey, It’s just me.” Yeji mumbled, looking at you pityingly when she noticed the exhausted, zoned out look on your face. You knew what she was thinking even if she didn’t utter a word. ‘Damn, you look like shit.’ or maybe, ‘When was the last time you slept?’. Of course she would never say that to you, Yeji was too soft for all that brutal honesty stuff unlike you.

“Yeah I know, I look like shit.” You spoke as a half assed chuckle slipped past your lips. I mean, you weren’t wrong. You had no makeup on, revealing the dark eye bags under your usual sparkly and bright blue eyes full of life. Now they were just a way to see out of the lifeless vessel you were trapped in. Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic to say, but it doesn’t erase the fact that you felt like that.

“I– What? I never said that!” Yeji blurted out, stumbling over the words she tried to put together to sound believable. Although you knew she meant no harm – She never did – You decided on teasing her anyway.

“Oh yeah, sure you didn’t. But you thought it.” You spoke, hiding back a small teasing smirk that threatened to tug at the corners of your lips. You watched her expression change from panic, to slight annoyance but you could see the care behind it.

“Yah. That’s not funny– I care about you, you know?” She spoke, a silly and grumpy pout working its way onto her face at your playful nature despite everything going on.

Miraculously another chuckle, one that actually sounded real, escaped your mouth at the sight of her frustrated look. You lifted a hand, gently patting her shoulder before beginning to lead her away from the station and down the road. Not that you knew where you were planning on going.

“Yeah, yeah. I know, I love you too.” Yeji smiled at that, walking at the same pace beside you now.

After a few minutes of walking with some light chatter and occasional giggles, both of you reached the usual cafe you would hang out at ever since you were teenagers. You always ordered the same thing - not exactly a fan of trying new things - an iced latte with 2 pumps of caramel. You always claimed coffee was too bitter for you, yet you’d accept any form of iced coffee when offered it.

“Have you– Have your co-workers found out anything about Hyunjin yet?” Yeji spoke, bringing you back to earth as you focused your attention on her instead of the window where you both took residency inside the cafe.

Shit. Hyunjin.

“Uh, no, I don’t think anyone has yet.. I’m sorry Yej..” You mumbled back, swirling your coffee around with the straw placed inside as you watched her expression fall into one of disappointment and.. Grief?

“He’s still alive.. He has to be– We’ll find him, Yej. I’ll find him” You spoke up a little more confidently now, trying to sound strong for her. There you go with that false hope again. Wow, you were surely giving out a lot of that recently huh?

“I-.. I know.. I refuse to believe he could be– My baby brother.. He wouldn’t die on me.” She shakes her head as the words tremble past her lips. You could see the slight glisten forming on her lash line. Reaching a hand over the table, you enveloped her hand inside yours as a way of showing silent support.

“He wouldn’t have just run away, right? I mean, he would have told me.” She spoke with a small dry laugh emitting from her throat.

“Of course he would have, you’re his sister. This is Hyunjin we are talking about for Christ's sake. He wouldn’t abandon anyone without saying anything– Unless they did something reasonably wrong.” You said, watching as Yejis mood began to increasingly lift, slight hope filling her eyes. A sigh of relief quietly escaped you as you gave her another soft smile.

“Yeah– Yeah.. Thanks Rubes..” You mumbles, giving the same soft smile back before retracting her hand and taking a swig of her now lukewarm coffee.

a/n; this chapter was lowkey depressing to write (for me), i hope you enjoyed it though! did you expect yeji and hyunjin to be siblings? is it too niche and stereotypical to add? maybe, but i wanted yeji to have depressing lore too (sorry for the self-projection🙏🏻)

thank you for reading this one! stick around for chapter 3 next week?

[skzruby]

Hunting for blood

Chapter warning; Mentions of kidnapping/missing person, depression suggested, mentions of death

Word count: 2.2k

ꫂ ၴႅၴ

Chapter 1

a plummet

You were previously sleeping in the early hours of the morning before you received a phone call. You groaned at the loud ringing beside you, rolling over to grab your phone as you cracked open your eyes. It was Jisungs mom.

"Hello?" You said groggily, rubbing the sleep from your eyes with a clenched fist. What time was it? You took a momentary glance at the lit clock on your bedside table. The numbers 08:00 AM flashed in white on the black screen.

"Ruby? Sorry to wake you dear, I just needed to call you." Jisungs mom, Han Yuseo, spoke. You frowned at the tone of her voice. She sounded- troubled, which definitely was a stark contrast to her usual bright and bubbly voice.

"It's okay- why did you call? Is everything okay?" You said, a pang of worry forming in the centre of your chest. You know, the one that makes your thoughts spiral into a deep hole that consists of nothing good. She hadn't even said anything yet and here you were, overthinking as always.

"I was just calling to see if you had spoken to Jisung today? He didn't come home." Yuseo spoke, the last part coming out in a hushed, strained voice. You felt your heart plummet into the pit of your stomach. Jisung always came home. He knew how much his mom worried about him. Even if he wasn't coming home that night or day, he'd always call or text prior.

"What do you mean he didn't come home? He was there yesterday morning, right?" Your voice came out strained, practically mimicking her own. You tried your best to keep your breathing steady. You're sure everythings fine. It has to be. It's Jisung for god's sake. He had to be okay.

"Yes, he left for work yesterday morning at- 6, I think.. He hasn't called or texted me since. Have you spoken to him?" She added. You could hear her voice trembling, it made you want to tell her everything is okay and that you're sure Jisung is okay. But you're not a hypocrite, and you certainly hated giving false hope. You had no idea what was going on.

"No, I haven't, I'm sorry Yuseo.." You said with a shaky breath, not wanting to disappoint the woman. Your stomach churned with anxiety as you spoke up again.

"I'll try to contact him and let you know if I get anything, okay?" You added on, trying your best to be reassuring, to sound like you weren't also spiralling out of control into thoughts any person would pray to never come true.

"Thank you, Ruby.. I'll talk to you later" She spoke. You could practically see the tears brimming on her lash line, her voice quivering with fear.

As you were about to hang up, you spoke up again, your voice wobbling subtly. "Yuseo?"

"Yes dear?" She responded, her tone low and fearful.

"Everything will be okay. It's Jisung." You replied, reassuring her the best you could whilst letting out a small chuckle at the thought of the man. He was anything but the type of person to get into trouble.

"I'm sure it will." Yuseo mumbled back before the line beeped, her presence disappearing. The quietness of your dimly lit room weighed down on you, leaving you to deal with all the troubled ideas forming out of your own will. You took a deep, trembling breath as you attempted to ground yourself, grabbing the water you always had on the bedside table and taking a few sips.

You re-opened your phone, deciding to try to give Jisung a call. You closed your eyes as the phone rang against your ear, silently praying for him to answer, to hear his voice calling out to you on the other side. After a few rings, it went silent. Had he answered?

"Jisu-" You began, hope filling you before the sound of the voicemail automated response cut you off, that feeling immediately dissipating into the abyss. You let out an unsteady sigh, staring down at the phone in your slightly weak hand. As the response finished, you knew you had to leave a voicemail.

"Jisung? Where are you? Please, just call me back when you hear this. Your moms worried, so am I. Bye.." You spoke, your voice a little frantic.

You didn't get a response back that day. Or the next, and not the day after that. It didn't matter how many voicemails you left, none of them were returned. You didn't even know if he was just ignoring you, or if something truly terrible had happened. Obviously, you had hoped for the latter. But not everything you hope for comes true.

Days passed by slowly. The hours were long and torturous as you grew more and more worried everyday. Soon, months had gone by, each one the same every time. You continued leaving voicemails, contacting his friends or anyone he worked with to try and get even just the smallest, most simplest piece of information about him that they remember from the day he disappeared.

You kept in frequent touch with Yuseo and the rest of Jisungs family, often giving them comfort and reassurance. Huh, maybe you were a hypocrite. You hated false hope yet here you were telling his family that he's okay. You knew you were doing it more for yourself. Of course you didn't want to believe something had happened to him, he was your best friend. The one person who knew you the best. You couldn't recall a day where you didn't talk to him and now it had been months.

[ONE MONTH AFTER HIS DISAPPEARANCE]

Sudden gasps of air left your lips as you shot up in bed, my brain scanning over the excruciatingly painful nightmare that had ruined your sleep, again. It was the same one every night, Jisung being- Well, I suppose you could figure out what it was about. Although you had seen it a thousand times already and knew exactly what was going to happen, it never got any easier to witness. Of course it was just a nightmare, I figment of your imagination, of one of your worst fears.

It had only been a month since Jisungs disappearance, and you tried your best to work everyday to find him but it was so hard to leave the house, or even get out of bed. Saying you were depressed was probably- most definitely an understatement. His disappearance left a hole in your heart, one that screams to be fixed, refilled. But it wasn't possible without Jisung. It felt like a blackhole had formed in your soul, swallowing you whole from the inside out until you were nothing but thoughts. Sometimes you wished for that, for the peace of eternal darkness, but you couldn't. What if he was still alive? What if he came back and you were the one gone this time, except forever? You wouldn't- You couldn't wish that type of pain on him. You needed to be here for his family but you couldn't even be there for yourself.

You dragged a clammy hand down your face slowly, taking a few deep breaths, some turning shaky near the end. You hadn't allowed yourself to cry over this yet, and you wouldn't. If you did, you might never stop.

Your shallow gaze glared holes in the wall ahead of you, you didn't know what to do with yourself. You needed to get up and do something. Showering first considering it had been days since your last one. You physically grimaced at the thought. How could you let it get this bad in just a month?

Slowly crawled out of your bed, sliding off on your butt and onto the floor, dragging half the duvet with you as you sat with your back against the side of the bed. A small sigh escaped your lips before you crawled on all fours towards the bathroom attached to your bedroom. You didn't even have the energy to walk despite sleeping away all hours of the day and night. You finally mustered motivation to stand up once you reached the bathroom, walking straight into the shower with your clothes still on. The hum of the shower filled the room before splattering water followed, spilling down your body and soaking you and clothes, the fabric immediately sticking to your skin.

You must have stayed in there for at least an hour because by the time you came back to your senses the sun had finally risen, casting a warm glow into the bedroom and bathroom. Steam filled the room and your fingertips had become wrinkled. Slowly turning the shower off, you stepped out of the shower, water droplets still sliding off your skin and onto the mat beneath your feet. You peeled off the wet clothes, tossing them on the floor as they landed with a small squelch. Sounds of scrubbing bounced off the walls as you brushed your teeth, then combing through your tatted hair that was previously tied up in a pony, the same one you tied up a week ago. Of course you shouldn't brush your hair wet but at this point you didn't care.

Once you regained some more motivation, you got changed into appropriate clothes for work, deciding you should get out of the house. Maybe you would feel better when surrounded by a distracting environment. Even though your work was about Jisung..

You strolled down the street towards your usual bus stop, headphones placed over your still slightly damp hair. Thoughts swirled around your head, thinking about what you would do today, who you would talk to - basically every possible scenario and its outcome. Once you had finally got onto the bus - sitting down in your usual seat in the back at a window - you scrolled through the mass amounts of missed calls and messages from your best friend before looking at the most recent ones.

JiJi🐈

Monday 16:49

how are you holding up?

you still haven't responded to any of my previous messages

please be okay, i'm always here

are you okay?

Monday 18:34

you can always talk to me you know? i wont judge you

Monday 21:56

ruby please answer i'm worried

Tuesday 12:23

please call me or even just text back? i love you

The 10th sigh of the day slipped past your dry lips as you read the messages she had left. You felt bad leaving her to worry about you for so long, you hated when people worried about you. Pressing the call button, you listened to the ringing through your headphones. It rang twice before her voice came through.

"Hey Yej.." You mumbled, resting your head on the bus window beside you.

"Ruby?!- Oh my god I am so happy you called, are you okay? You were unresponsive for weeks!!" Yeji rambled down the phone loudly. You winced at her loud voice coming through the headphones, lifting a hand to pull one of the sides off your momentarily and placing it back down once she went quiet.

"Yeji, I'm okay- I'm sorry for going offline, can I see you after work?" You spoke quietly, trying to refrain from closing your eyes due to the tiredness running through your body. You had no idea why you were tired, you had been rotting away in bed for over a week.

"What- You're going to work? To do what?-" She replied.

"And- yeah okay, I'll meet you outside the station." She finished off. You heard her sigh over the phone. You knew she was worried about you, but you were here now, and you were fine. Kind of. Not really.

"Okay sure, and yes I'm going to work. I have to do something or I'll probably stay cooped up in bed for the rest of my life." You spoke back, a small chuckle leaving your lips even though you weren't exactly joking. You would have stayed in bed longer if you weren't hit with the real reality of the fact you needed to do something about finding Jisung instead of helplessly hoping he would just magically re-appear.

"Okay- Well, I'll see you later Ruru, Stay in touch?" She said, her voice full of hope and concern. You knew she wasn't really asking, more-so telling you to.

"I will." You replied back shortly before hanging up just in time for the bus to approach your stop. You shuffled off the bus, heading down the street towards the station. Walking inside, your co-workers casted double glances at you when they realised it was actually you before turning back to whatever they were doing or whispering to the others about your sudden return. It was immature to say the least, but you would probably do the same if it was to be the other way round. Afterall, you hadn't shown your face in a month, or even talked to anyone. Not even your boss.

AN; WAHHHHH first chapter done! is it good? is it the best thing you've EVER read? of course it is im just amazing right? joking, joking. i hope this was a good start to the story and not too quick of a dive in. i didn't want to make a big chapter lingering so i thought jumping right in would be a good way to get ur attention... i hope it worked.. anywayyy, the second chapter is called 'a new face', can you guess who it is? heheheh

let me know your thoughts and feelings about this :3

[skzruby]

Hunting for blood - Straykids

ꫂ ၴႅၴ

pairings; straykids x oc

Warnings: gore (blood, description of wounds etc), character death, kidnapping, missing people, talks about NC, attempted murder, unrequited love, perhaps enemies to lovers, vampires, eventual fluff mehehehe (more to be added on chapter warnings if i forgot any)

Summary: You knew they existed. Vampires. Yes, the blood-sucking demons usually written about in fantasy books. Of course, people never had run ins with vampire’s — I’m sure those who did are now, well, dead. Everyone knew about them, but you were different. You aimed to exterminate, eliminate and make them exctint. But you became distracted when your bestfriend went missing and you didn't see what was right in front of you the entire time. Would you keep looking? Or would you just give up on finding him.. Him? Han Jisung. Your best friend. You refused to give up on him, because if you didn't find him, who else would?

Chapter 1 .���� ݁ ˖ the plummet

Chapter 2 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ a new face

Chapter 3 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ????

Chapter 4 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ????

more chapters to be added in the future.

back to the masterlist

AN: wahhh! i'm so excited to write this, i started it a few months back and didn't continue but now its up and running again! i don't think i'm going to write smut for this but if thats something you want to see perchance… i’m gonna do like chapters every week perhaps depends how fast i can think of ideas but i already have a few ready to go😊it won’t be a ship between all of them and the character/reader but i haven’t figured that out yet soooo…

[skzruby]

slow down, you’re doing fine. you can’t be everything you wanna be before your time.

navigation ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ —————

currently only writing for straykids + won’t be doing requests if they aren’t skz!

any page with no age stated, or pages that indicate its owner is a minor will be blocked. please do not spam my account as it will also result in being blocked!

requests .ೃ࿔

- if you wish to request things whether with a name, anonymously or with a claimed emoji, you are more than welcome to in my bio! i'll try my best to respond to them as soon as possible :3

๋࣭ ⭑ masterlist | my rules | about me

my current work : “Hunting for blood” a SKZ book.

i currently don’t have a taglist, so feel free to turn on my notifications instead! :3

[skzruby]

Hunting for blood

Chapter warning; Mentions of kidnapping/missing person, depression suggested, mentions of death

Word count: 2.2k

ꫂ ၴႅၴ

Chapter 1

a plummet

You were previously sleeping in the early hours of the morning before you received a phone call. You groaned at the loud ringing beside you, rolling over to grab your phone as you cracked open your eyes. It was Jisungs mom.

"Hello?" You said groggily, rubbing the sleep from your eyes with a clenched fist. What time was it? You took a momentary glance at the lit clock on your bedside table. The numbers 08:00 AM flashed in white on the black screen.

"Ruby? Sorry to wake you dear, I just needed to call you." Jisungs mom, Han Yuseo, spoke. You frowned at the tone of her voice. She sounded- troubled, which definitely was a stark contrast to her usual bright and bubbly voice.

"It's okay- why did you call? Is everything okay?" You said, a pang of worry forming in the centre of your chest. You know, the one that makes your thoughts spiral into a deep hole that consists of nothing good. She hadn't even said anything yet and here you were, overthinking as always.

"I was just calling to see if you had spoken to Jisung today? He didn't come home." Yuseo spoke, the last part coming out in a hushed, strained voice. You felt your heart plummet into the pit of your stomach. Jisung always came home. He knew how much his mom worried about him. Even if he wasn't coming home that night or day, he'd always call or text prior.

"What do you mean he didn't come home? He was there yesterday morning, right?" Your voice came out strained, practically mimicking her own. You tried your best to keep your breathing steady. You're sure everythings fine. It has to be. It's Jisung for god's sake. He had to be okay.

"Yes, he left for work yesterday morning at- 6, I think.. He hasn't called or texted me since. Have you spoken to him?" She added. You could hear her voice trembling, it made you want to tell her everything is okay and that you're sure Jisung is okay. But you're not a hypocrite, and you certainly hated giving false hope. You had no idea what was going on.

"No, I haven't, I'm sorry Yuseo.." You said with a shaky breath, not wanting to disappoint the woman. Your stomach churned with anxiety as you spoke up again.

"I'll try to contact him and let you know if I get anything, okay?" You added on, trying your best to be reassuring, to sound like you weren't also spiralling out of control into thoughts any person would pray to never come true.

"Thank you, Ruby.. I'll talk to you later" She spoke. You could practically see the tears brimming on her lash line, her voice quivering with fear.

As you were about to hang up, you spoke up again, your voice wobbling subtly. "Yuseo?"

"Yes dear?" She responded, her tone low and fearful.

"Everything will be okay. It's Jisung." You replied, reassuring her the best you could whilst letting out a small chuckle at the thought of the man. He was anything but the type of person to get into trouble.

"I'm sure it will." Yuseo mumbled back before the line beeped, her presence disappearing. The quietness of your dimly lit room weighed down on you, leaving you to deal with all the troubled ideas forming out of your own will. You took a deep, trembling breath as you attempted to ground yourself, grabbing the water you always had on the bedside table and taking a few sips.

You re-opened your phone, deciding to try to give Jisung a call. You closed your eyes as the phone rang against your ear, silently praying for him to answer, to hear his voice calling out to you on the other side. After a few rings, it went silent. Had he answered?

"Jisu-" You began, hope filling you before the sound of the voicemail automated response cut you off, that feeling immediately dissipating into the abyss. You let out an unsteady sigh, staring down at the phone in your slightly weak hand. As the response finished, you knew you had to leave a voicemail.

"Jisung? Where are you? Please, just call me back when you hear this. Your moms worried, so am I. Bye.." You spoke, your voice a little frantic.

You didn't get a response back that day. Or the next, and not the day after that. It didn't matter how many voicemails you left, none of them were returned. You didn't even know if he was just ignoring you, or if something truly terrible had happened. Obviously, you had hoped for the latter. But not everything you hope for comes true.

Days passed by slowly. The hours were long and torturous as you grew more and more worried everyday. Soon, months had gone by, each one the same every time. You continued leaving voicemails, contacting his friends or anyone he worked with to try and get even just the smallest, most simplest piece of information about him that they remember from the day he disappeared.

You kept in frequent touch with Yuseo and the rest of Jisungs family, often giving them comfort and reassurance. Huh, maybe you were a hypocrite. You hated false hope yet here you were telling his family that he's okay. You knew you were doing it more for yourself. Of course you didn't want to believe something had happened to him, he was your best friend. The one person who knew you the best. You couldn't recall a day where you didn't talk to him and now it had been months.

[ONE MONTH AFTER HIS DISAPPEARANCE]

Sudden gasps of air left your lips as you shot up in bed, my brain scanning over the excruciatingly painful nightmare that had ruined your sleep, again. It was the same one every night, Jisung being- Well, I suppose you could figure out what it was about. Although you had seen it a thousand times already and knew exactly what was going to happen, it never got any easier to witness. Of course it was just a nightmare, I figment of your imagination, of one of your worst fears.

It had only been a month since Jisungs disappearance, and you tried your best to work everyday to find him but it was so hard to leave the house, or even get out of bed. Saying you were depressed was probably- most definitely an understatement. His disappearance left a hole in your heart, one that screams to be fixed, refilled. But it wasn't possible without Jisung. It felt like a blackhole had formed in your soul, swallowing you whole from the inside out until you were nothing but thoughts. Sometimes you wished for that, for the peace of eternal darkness, but you couldn't. What if he was still alive? What if he came back and you were the one gone this time, except forever? You wouldn't- You couldn't wish that type of pain on him. You needed to be here for his family but you couldn't even be there for yourself.

You dragged a clammy hand down your face slowly, taking a few deep breaths, some turning shaky near the end. You hadn't allowed yourself to cry over this yet, and you wouldn't. If you did, you might never stop.

Your shallow gaze glared holes in the wall ahead of you, you didn't know what to do with yourself. You needed to get up and do something. Showering first considering it had been days since your last one. You physically grimaced at the thought. How could you let it get this bad in just a month?

Slowly crawled out of your bed, sliding off on your butt and onto the floor, dragging half the duvet with you as you sat with your back against the side of the bed. A small sigh escaped your lips before you crawled on all fours towards the bathroom attached to your bedroom. You didn't even have the energy to walk despite sleeping away all hours of the day and night. You finally mustered motivation to stand up once you reached the bathroom, walking straight into the shower with your clothes still on. The hum of the shower filled the room before splattering water followed, spilling down your body and soaking you and clothes, the fabric immediately sticking to your skin.

You must have stayed in there for at least an hour because by the time you came back to your senses the sun had finally risen, casting a warm glow into the bedroom and bathroom. Steam filled the room and your fingertips had become wrinkled. Slowly turning the shower off, you stepped out of the shower, water droplets still sliding off your skin and onto the mat beneath your feet. You peeled off the wet clothes, tossing them on the floor as they landed with a small squelch. Sounds of scrubbing bounced off the walls as you brushed your teeth, then combing through your tatted hair that was previously tied up in a pony, the same one you tied up a week ago. Of course you shouldn't brush your hair wet but at this point you didn't care.

Once you regained some more motivation, you got changed into appropriate clothes for work, deciding you should get out of the house. Maybe you would feel better when surrounded by a distracting environment. Even though your work was about Jisung..

You strolled down the street towards your usual bus stop, headphones placed over your still slightly damp hair. Thoughts swirled around your head, thinking about what you would do today, who you would talk to - basically every possible scenario and its outcome. Once you had finally got onto the bus - sitting down in your usual seat in the back at a window - you scrolled through the mass amounts of missed calls and messages from your best friend before looking at the most recent ones.

JiJi🐈

Monday 16:49

how are you holding up?

you still haven't responded to any of my previous messages

please be okay, i'm always here

are you okay?

Monday 18:34

you can always talk to me you know? i wont judge you

Monday 21:56

ruby please answer i'm worried

Tuesday 12:23

please call me or even just text back? i love you

The 10th sigh of the day slipped past your dry lips as you read the messages she had left. You felt bad leaving her to worry about you for so long, you hated when people worried about you. Pressing the call button, you listened to the ringing through your headphones. It rang twice before her voice came through.

"Hey Yej.." You mumbled, resting your head on the bus window beside you.

"Ruby?!- Oh my god I am so happy you called, are you okay? You were unresponsive for weeks!!" Yeji rambled down the phone loudly. You winced at her loud voice coming through the headphones, lifting a hand to pull one of the sides off your momentarily and placing it back down once she went quiet.

"Yeji, I'm okay- I'm sorry for going offline, can I see you after work?" You spoke quietly, trying to refrain from closing your eyes due to the tiredness running through your body. You had no idea why you were tired, you had been rotting away in bed for over a week.

"What- You're going to work? To do what?-" She replied.

"And- yeah okay, I'll meet you outside the station." She finished off. You heard her sigh over the phone. You knew she was worried about you, but you were here now, and you were fine. Kind of. Not really.

"Okay sure, and yes I'm going to work. I have to do something or I'll probably stay cooped up in bed for the rest of my life." You spoke back, a small chuckle leaving your lips even though you weren't exactly joking. You would have stayed in bed longer if you weren't hit with the real reality of the fact you needed to do something about finding Jisung instead of helplessly hoping he would just magically re-appear.

"Okay- Well, I'll see you later Ruru, Stay in touch?" She said, her voice full of hope and concern. You knew she wasn't really asking, more-so telling you to.

"I will." You replied back shortly before hanging up just in time for the bus to approach your stop. You shuffled off the bus, heading down the street towards the station. Walking inside, your co-workers casted double glances at you when they realised it was actually you before turning back to whatever they were doing or whispering to the others about your sudden return. It was immature to say the least, but you would probably do the same if it was to be the other way round. Afterall, you hadn't shown your face in a month, or even talked to anyone. Not even your boss.

AN; WAHHHHH first chapter done! is it good? is it the best thing you've EVER read? of course it is im just amazing right? joking, joking. i hope this was a good start to the story and not too quick of a dive in. i didn't want to make a big chapter lingering so i thought jumping right in would be a good way to get ur attention... i hope it worked.. anywayyy, the second chapter is called 'a new face', can you guess who it is? heheheh

let me know your thoughts and feelings about this :3

[skzruby]

𝐫𝐮𝐛𝐲𝐬 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

a/n; some things may be removed or change over time, as well as things being added so make sure to keep a look out if you are thinking of requesting ideas or wondering if my page is for you! <3

rules °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

- no minors (-18), interact and you will be blocked.

- have some form of age on your profile whether it’s a specific number or just 18+ !!!

- do not plagiarise my work or post on other sights! i'm only on here and wattpad (will give out username as my main books will be on there eventually)

- no pressuring for updates or new works, i'm busy and have a life outside my phone to attend to

- no spam liking content

what i will write

- fem!reader and neutral!reader

- fluff, hurt+comfort, general fluffy stuff

- angst, hurt+no comfort etc.. i love angst.

- a/b/o (omegaverse)

- fantasy things like fairies, vampires, hybrids and all that jazz!

- most gore related things (fight scenes, character death, you get the jist.)

- abuse but not too descriptive, mostly for awareness reasons or if requested.

- age regression (SFW!!! only if requested!)

what i wont write

- male!reader (1, i'm a female and have no idea how to do that but maybe in the future if i can improve my writing skills)

- descriptive/scenes on NONCON, CNC, DUBCON or anything like that.

- anything that’s TOO descriptive about abuse.

- smut (if requested then maybe but i'm not confident in writing it nor willing/comfortable in producing my own yet)

- pregnancy.

- related to fantasy but im not writing centaurs or anything similar. thank you.

- BoyLove (again, not a boy but like i said for male!reader, this might change in the future.)

- kinks like DDLG or any age play, bondage, too aggressive manhandling/pain kink (borderline abuse)

request any of my don’t writes and i will not respond.

[skzruby]

Hunting for blood - Straykids

ꫂ ၴႅၴ

pairings; straykids x oc

Warnings: gore (blood, description of wounds etc), character death, kidnapping, missing people, talks about NC, attempted murder, unrequited love, perhaps enemies to lovers, vampires, eventual fluff mehehehe (more to be added on chapter warnings if i forgot any)

Summary: You knew they existed. Vampires. Yes, the blood-sucking demons usually written about in fantasy books. Of course, people never had run ins with vampire’s — I’m sure those who did are now, well, dead. Everyone knew about them, but you were different. You aimed to exterminate, eliminate and make them exctint. But you became distracted when your bestfriend went missing and you didn't see what was right in front of you the entire time. Would you keep looking? Or would you just give up on finding him.. Him? Han Jisung. Your best friend. You refused to give up on him, because if you didn't find him, who else would?

Chapter 1 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ the plummet

Chapter 2 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ a new face

Chapter 3 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ????

Chapter 4 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ????

more chapters to be added in the future.

back to the masterlist

AN: wahhh! i'm so excited to write this, i started it a few months back and didn't continue but now its up and running again! i don't think i'm going to write smut for this but if thats something you want to see perchance… i’m gonna do like chapters every week perhaps depends how fast i can think of ideas but i already have a few ready to go😊it won’t be a ship between all of them and the character/reader but i haven’t figured that out yet soooo…

[skzruby]

my introduction.ᐟ

here’s a little bit about me!

hi my name is ruby, i’m 19 and i love reading a writing books (clearly, why else would i be here..) im new to posting on here so apologies if im not consistent but i've been on tumblr for a while!!

i love music — specifically kpop, my favourite group being straykids! (han jisung biased ^_^) i also enjoy some G-IDLE or aespa but my ult is definitely skz. i like marvel films and will enjoy a harry potter binge watch occasionally.

i've never written a book before but have my first one in the works soo lmk if you’d want me to post it as i write it!

thank you for taking the time to read this, i really appreciate it and i'd love to make friends! byee byeee! <3

my masterlist for those interested :3

[skzruby]

rubys masterlist ── .✦

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ a new masterlist

OT8

Hunting for blood - CHAPTER 1 OUT NOW

———————————————————————

bangchan

not started

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lee minho

not started

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seo changbin

not started

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hwang hyunjin

not started

———————————————————————

han jisung

not started

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lee felix

not started

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kim seungmin

not started

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yang jeongin

not started

[skzruby]

my introduction.ᐟ

here’s a little bit about me!

hi my name is ruby, i’m 19 and i love reading and writing books (clearly, why else would i be here..) im new to posting on here so apologies if im not consistent but i've been on tumblr for a while!!

i love music — specifically kpop, my favourite group being straykids! (han jisung biased ^_^) i also enjoy some G-IDLE or aespa but my ult is definitely skz. i like marvel films and will enjoy a harry potter binge watch occasionally.

3 fun facts :D

- i have a dog and she’s the best baby everrr

- i’m currently writing my first ever book after years of only reading!

- i study psychology and its so much work but really interesting!

thank you for taking the time to read this, i really appreciate it and i'd love to make friends! byee byeee! <3

my masterlist for those interested :3

[skzruby]

told myself i wouldn’t cry. i cried. chan better stay true to his words bc it certainly better not be over😡

the skz house: ch 30 (18+)

a/n: the word count for this chapter is 6090. and my editor is enjoying the trip of a lifetime, so please forgive any typos! also, at certain parts it may feel a little choppy, but i wanted to provide brief glimpses into what each day of y/n's last week is like.

[ read chapter 29 here ]

Chapter Thirty: Of Rainy Days and Goodbyes

TUESDAY – Five Days Left

The following morning you wake up surprised to hear the rain still coming down with a vengeance outside. Chan has one arm wrapped around your shoulder, holding you against him. With your head resting on his chest, you take the moment to appreciate the view from your vantage point—his chiseled abdomen. From the steady rise and fall of his chest, you can tell he’s asleep.

You both needed last night to happen.

As damaging as his behavior has been, you at least now have a better understanding of what he was trying to do. Protect himself. Seeing it from his perspective, the one time he’s allowed himself to feel this way about anyone, it ends up like this. The pain and hurt he must have felt is different from what you experienced. You’re not denying that it was cruel and hurtful to you in other ways, but you don’t want to hold it against him too harshly. He was acting, unironically, as a wounded wolf.

You bring your hand up and lightly run it down his chest, then trace the lines of his abs causing him to flinch. His hand shoots up from beneath the blanket covering your lower halves and grabs hold of yours.

“Stop. That tickles,” he warns, still half asleep.

You pull your hand away and resume running your fingers along his exposed skin.

“You’re just all around disobedient now, aren’t you?” he asks with a touch of playfulness.

“You didn’t seem to have a problem with it a few hours ago,” you reply.

“That’s fair…I didn’t mind it as much as I thought I would.”

“Ah. Progress,” you muse, to which he lowers his hand from your shoulder and lightly smacks your ass. “We should probably get up.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“You want to stay in bed all day?”

“Why not? We can skip class,” he shrugs.

You try to sit up, but he puts his hand on your waist to keep you from moving.

“Stay here with me.”

“What time is it?” you ask.

He lets out a yawn and grabs his phone from the nightstand. He holds it directly in front of you so you can see the time—8:30am. There’s a weather alert and a few missed text messages displayed on the screen; he punches in his passcode, either oblivious or not caring if you see. You realize you’ve never seen his phone like this before and catch a quick glimpse of Berry as his background before he opens his messages. Among the list of texts, you spot your name with a doctor emoji next to it and can’t stop the smile that spreads across your face.

The text he opens is an alert from the school.

Due to inclement weather, classes are

canceled today. Please stay safe and

beware of flash flood areas.

“Well, would you look at that,” he releases his hand from your waist, allowing you to sit up. “Looks like we can’t go anywhere, anyways.”

You smile down at him wistfully—you are happy for the excuse to spend more time with him, but also strikingly sad that you finally have this Chan back now that you’re leaving.

“Should I go make us some breakfast?” you ask, feeling a sudden need for a little space to shed a tear in private.

“No. I don’t want you to leave my side today.” 

“Chan,” you shake your head as the tears swell in your eyes.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, y/n,” he says immediately. “What did I do? What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” you shrug helplessly.

He sits up, too, and moves you around until you’re sitting directly in front of him. He hooks each of your legs over his thighs before pulling you to him. He then cups your face in his hands and uses the pads of his thumbs to wipe your fallen tears away.

“I know what you’re thinking, because I’m thinking it too,” he tells you. “I know this could have all been so different. You have no idea how much I regret it.”

“This fucking sucks,” you say, resting your forehead on his shoulder as he rubs your bare back.

“I know, I know,” he tries to soothe you. “I don’t have enough time to properly make it up to you, either, but I want to try. No pretend fiancé bullshit, I just want to genuinely spend the time we have left being happy with you.”

“Will that be enough?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I had my heart set on forever with you, y/n. Even if you stayed the last two months, it wouldn’t have been enough.”

He has an incredible way of causing your heart to soar while simultaneously making you want to ram your head against a brick wall. All you can do at this point is hope he has learned a valuable lesson that may be of use in his future.

“You’re capable of saying some really romantic shit when you want to, you know,” you say, lifting your head from his shoulder.

He leans forward and places a quick peck on your lips without responding. He picks up his phone, unlocks it again and opens an app before handing it over to you.

“Let’s order breakfast for the house.”

You awkwardly take the phone in your hand—it feels like some sort of newly appointed privilege—and navigate through the food delivery app until you find the place everyone routinely orders from. Thankfully it’s not too far from the house, so the driver shouldn’t have any trouble delivering it in this weather. Chan leans back against the pillows, resting his hands on your thighs as he watches you. By now, you know what to order for every single person. The total comes out to a whopping $250, plus a generous tip for the driver. You hand his phone back when you’re done, he grabs it and tosses it aside on the bed.

“Shower?” he asks.

You hardly start to nod before he’s already cupping your ass and sliding you both off the bed. You hook your legs around his waist and hold on to his neck as he carries you to the bathroom. You didn’t think you’d get to have a moment like this with him again.

For all the drama leading up to this, and the impending devastation in a few days, you can’t shake the thought that this still feels right.

In the kitchen, you’re seated between Hyunjin and Chan while everyone eats breakfast. Beneath the table, Chan has draped your leg closest to him across his lap—he eats with one hand and caresses your leg with the other. He really hasn’t let you leave his side all morning, you haven’t been further than his arm’s reach.

Hyunjin seems to notice the change between you and Chan, too. He offers you a wink and kisses your cheek, leaving sticky syrup residue behind to which you feign annoyance. You’re far from annoyed right now. You’re incredibly content.

After breakfast, when everyone disperses throughout the house, you spend a while hopping around to where clusters of people are hanging out. This rainy day could not have come at a better time. You were worried you wouldn’t have enough free time to spend with everyone.

That’s the reasoning you give to Chan when he tries to pull you back upstairs. He begrudgingly nods in understanding, saying he’ll come find you in a bit.  

You make your way down to the basement and join Felix, Seungmin and Allie in playing video games. Seungmin teases Felix mercilessly each time he loses—and even when he wins, saying he took it easy on him. Allie tries to mediate to no avail. You’re going to miss frustrated gaming Felix. As kindhearted and delicate as he is, that’s the only time you’ve seen him anything close to angry. When you leave back upstairs, Seungmin is laying on the floor, cackling while Felix straddles his waist, pretending to strangle him.

In the workout room, you bother Jeongin and Changbin. You talk casually for a bit before resorting to playfully mocking them as they lift weights, staring at themselves in the mirror.

“I could have sworn your arms were bigger last week,” you tease Jeongin. “Maybe my eyes are deceiving me.”

“You should get them checked out—nothing but gains over here,” he flexes and brings his bicep to his mouth to kiss.

Truthfully, you’ve seen how much he’s grown physically from the start of the year. He seemed so quiet and reserved, all those months ago when he helped you out with your fashion aversion. You’ll always be thankful to him for that.

“No teasing my protégé,” Changbin defends him. “Either hop on a machine or get out.”

“Okay, okay,” you hold your hands up, slowly backing out of the room.  

As you interact with everyone it starts to set in, little by little, how alone you’ll be when you move out. Going from living with eleven others to being completely on your own? It will certainly be an adjustment. The reality of that hasn’t truly sunken in yet.

Next, you head to the den to find Charlotte but immediately regret your decision when you walk in on her riding the fuck out of Han in her computer chair while moaning, “It’s so big, Hannie.”

They both pause for a moment, seeing you there at the door.

“S-sorry,” you squeak out.

Han hides his face behind her long, curly hair and she just giggles as you promptly exit and shut the door behind you. You can’t run away fast enough, stopping only when you reach the safety of the living room. You plop yourself down on the couch to watch Hyunjin get his ass beat in chess by Lee Know.

“Have you heard the word ‘pabo’, y/n?” Lee Know asks, taking another one of Hyunjin’s pieces as you shake your head.

Hyunjin rolls his eyes.

“It means fool…or stupid.”

Those aren’t the words you would choose to describe Hyunjin. You’d have to disagree. He’s simply wise in his own way.

“Don’t listen to him—he has an unfair advantage. He’s basically a grand wizard or whatever.”

“Grandmaster,” Lee Know corrects. “See? Pabo. And that’s checkmate.”

You laugh as Hyunjin lets out an annoyed sigh before coming to join you on the couch.

“I was waiting for you to come back here,” Lee Know says, “How about that announcement now?”

You feel yourself shrinking into the couch at the thought, but slowly nod your head. Lee Know loudly calls out for everyone to come to the living room, and you don’t feel prepared for what is about to come. Outside of you, Hyunjin and Chan, everyone else seems confused about what’s going on.

Hyunjin has one arm slung around your shoulder, holding you to him for comfort, and Han takes the empty spot on your other side. You can’t help but notice how heavily he’s breathing and you know exactly what caused it.

“Is this going to take long?” Jeongin quips, looking in desperate need of a shower after his workout.

“If I want it to,” Lee Know replies smugly, lifting one shoulder in a half shrug.

Jeongin rolls his eyes and Lee Know clears his throat, waiting for the chatter to die down. In the moment of silence, all you can hear is the sound of the rain pouring outside.

“I have an announcement to make,” he says. “This doesn’t happen often here, and not typically with such short notice.”

You don’t miss the way his eyes flicker to you when he says that.

“One of our assignees will be leaving the SKZ house earlier than planned.”

The others all look around at each other, confused expressions on their faces.

“Y/n,” Lee Know continues, “has given us her notice, and will be moving out on Sunday.”

A chorus of “What?”, “Why?”, and “Are you serious?” echo throughout the room as everyone turns to stare at you. You force a small smile and nod, wanting to appear strong and confident.

“It’s not required of her to tell us why—she has the freedom to make this choice. All of you do. None of you are hostages here,” Lee Know attempts to quiet their hushed whispers. “We’ve enjoyed having you, y/n, some more than others, I’m sure.”

He gives a pointed look to Hyunjin and Chan and you feel the blood rush to your cheek. You, and everyone in this house, knows exactly how much sex takes place within it’s walls. And yet, after all this time you still feel shy to have it broadcast so openly.

“But we will all miss you,” he concludes with a curt bow in your direction.

“Thank you,” you say quietly.

Silence fills the room again—you hadn’t anticipated how awkward this would be. It feels like you’ve put a damper on the overall vibe of the day.

“It’s Changbin’s fault, isn’t it?” Seungmin jokes, pointing at the accused culprit.

Changbin scrunches up his face in confusion as everyone laughs, including you. You spare a glance over at Chan and see even he’s smiling, too. You’re thankful for Seungmin’s uncanny ability to ease the tension of any situation with his impeccable comedic timing.

As quickly as they were surprised about the news, they move on just as fast. Ironically, that’s probably how they must approach this whole situation. They’re probably sad when the year ends and they have to say their goodbyes…but ultimately, it’s what’s expected of them. There’s no reason for them to linger in the murkiness of it all.

“That was all—you’re dismissed,” Lee Know flicks his hands, shooing everyone away.

You feel a hand grab hold of yours and look up to see Rhiannon standing in front of you.

“To the den?”

You nod and stand, leaving Hyunjin’s side to follow her with the other girls trailing close behind. The four of you enter the den and sit in your papasans. You notice the ceiling fan is now spinning, more than likely a result of Han and Charlotte’s attempt to air out the room after their tryst.

“Are you okay?” Allie asks when you’re all situated.

“Yeah…I’ll be alright,” you reply. “I’m just finding the responsibilities of staying here to be a lot and need to focus on my studies. I’m going into a vet program that starts right after the semester ends and need to prepare for it.”

It’s not a total lie—you do have to prepare for vet school, but it’s not the real reason you’re leaving.

Allie eyes you carefully, after that explanation. She’d already picked up on what was happening between you and Chan. Rhiannon and Charlotte seem to believe it, though, from the understanding looks on their faces.

“Should we have a going away party?” Charlotte asks.

“Dear God, no,” you shake your head vigorously. “That moment in the living room was more than enough.”

“I wonder what happens next,” Rhiannon muses aloud. “It would be weird having someone else here.”

Your stomach starts to knot up at the thought. Chan did mention, at the beginning of the school year, that someone else would take your place if you ever left. That hadn’t been at the forefront of your mind throughout this but the queasy feeling it gives you isn’t enough to make you regret your decision. Whether you stay or go, both Chan and Hyunjin will eventually move on to someone else. And you will, too.

You remain in the den with the girls for a little while longer. The subject eventually changes from you leaving to some of the memories you’ve all shared with the members. You never thought you’d become so close to these three women and were admittedly concerned there would be drama. But there never was. You all managed to get along and take care of these boisterous men with no issues.

You spend the evening upstairs with Chan, cuddled together in his bed. He mocks being hurt that you spent so much time away from him during the day. You push him on his back and straddle his waist, removing your shirt as you tell him you’re his for the rest of the night. He stops complaining after that.

WEDNESDAY

Outside of going to class, you and Chan spend the entire day together. You start packing your belongings and putting them into suitcases, gym bags, and a couple of boxes. He takes you out to dinner, and afterwards the two of you drive aimlessly around the city. Neither of you mention anything about it being your last night together but the reality of it lingers in the air. He holds your hand as he drives and asks you for a kiss at damn near every red light.

When you’re back at the house and in his room, his mouth is on yours before the door fully closes.

It's a perfect night.

THURSDAY

The fact that you’re leaving Sunday really starts to sink in. This is the final mid-week switch, now that you’re back with Hyunjin. The conversation at dinner is lively, but you find yourself remaining quiet most of the time, just sitting back, smiling and observing. Chan lays his hand down on the table, palm up, and looks at you pointedly. You bare a sheepish grin as you place your hand on top of his and he laces your fingers together. Hyunjin claims a spot on your thigh, palming it as he eats.

You have to keep reminding yourself to enjoy these moments, in the present. You can’t focus too much on what’s to come, or you’ll spend all the time you have left bawling.

After dinner, you and Hyunjin cuddle up in his bed and watch a movie on his laptop for old times’ sake. You don’t even make it halfway through before he starts kissing you. He takes his time undressing you—there’s no rush, so he draws everything out for as long as he can. He’s slow and methodical. He’s loving and gentle. He’s everything you ever needed him to be.

FRIDAY

In the evening, Hyunjin helps you start to pack your things in his room. Your vision is blurred as you zip up a gym bag stuffed full of shoes. Hyunjin comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, sensing your sadness.

“It’ll all be okay,” he reassures you.

“Did I make the right choice?” you ask, turning around to face him.

“I can’t answer that,” he replies. “But depending how you choose to take on each day moving forward, you can make it the right choice for you.”

You look up at him with a slight pout, tugging on his shirt.

“What am I gonna do without your words of encouragement?”

He takes a deep breath and lets out a long sigh. He doesn’t answer that question. There isn’t much he can say. He will never be around to comfort you again. You both know this.

He cups your face and leans down to place a delicate kiss to your forehead, then square on the lips. You wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss, seeking more from him, and he happily obliges.

You don’t want to leave Hyunjin’s arms or his bed, but he convinces you to go down to the basement. He tells you you’ll regret not spending more time with everyone else if you don’t. And he’s right.

He holds your hand as you walk down the steps and as soon as the basement room comes into view, a loud chorus of “SURPRISE!” fills the room. You shoot daggers at a grinning Charlotte. She’s obviously proud of her handiwork.

Though you specifically did not want this to happen, you start smiling, too. There’s a ‘WE’LL MISS YOU’ banner hanging across from the pool table, balloons, streamers, and every single member and assignee in this house that you’ve been dreading having to say goodbye to.

The atmosphere of this going away party makes it a little easier. At some point, you find yourself on the couch, seated in Chan’s lap. He doesn’t hold back, touching and kissing you in front of the others. You embrace his rare public display of affection. You realize this is the closest you’ll get with him again, since you’re with Hyunjin tomorrow night as well.

The thought starts to sadden you, but when Jeongin pulls out the karaoke machine it’s a welcome distraction. You keep up your brave face and smile, willing yourself to enjoy the night and make a few final memories with this group you’ve come to cherish for all its unorthodox, familial chaos.

SATURDAY – One Day Left

You finish packing everything in Hyunjin’s room and the den. You spend the afternoon with the girls, and everyone eventually convenes in the backyard for dinner. It’s the first semi-warm day of the season. You can’t help reminiscing about your first time back here, your first time in the pool…the hot tub with Chan and Hyunjin. You’ve experienced so much in the past seven months. If the version of yourself that arrived at this house could see you know…she wouldn’t even recognize you.

When you make it back to Hyunjin’s room, you find him waiting on the edge of his bed. He beckons you to him and you stand between his legs.

“This is it, huh?” he says.

“Unfortunately,” you reply with a frown.

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m okay, all things considered.”

“Good,” he stands from the bed and wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you in for a hug.

He typically holds you from your waist, so this hug allows you to burrow yourself into him. He holds on to you for what feels like forever, and you’re in no rush to break the embrace either.

“I’ll see you in the morning, then.”

“What?” you ask, leaning back to look up at him.

“You should spend your last night with Chan,” he tells you. “I mean, I’d gladly have you here, don’t get me wrong. But I think you should go to him.”

He’s literally the most selfless person on the planet.

“Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss him on the lips.

“Thank you,” you tell him.

“Go,” he urges, pecking you on the lips once more.

You let out a deep breath and step away from him. He nods his head in encouragement as you back away towards the door. You exit his room and make your way up to the third floor at the speed of light. You don’t even bother knocking on Chan’s door, you just burst right in.

You hear the shower water running and see his empty bed. You close the door softly behind you and tiptoe across the room. You sit on the bed, on top of the covers, upright with your back against the pillows. As you wait, you contemplate hiding somewhere to scare him, but then a better idea crosses your mind.

You lean over to open his nightstand drawer and quietly fish around for the pair of handcuffs you bought. You leave them on the bed and then go to your packed bags to retrieve the collar he gifted you. You hook it around your neck before removing your shirt, then bottoms and underwear. You grab the handcuffs from the bed, lock it around your left hand, then place your arms behind your back to lock in your right hand.

You lower yourself to the ground in the middle of the archway separating the bedroom and bathroom. The shower water turns off just as you’re situating yourself—seated with your legs beneath you. You straighten your back, eyes on the shower door as you wait for him to exit.

You’ll remember the sight of him stepping out of the shower for as long as you live. Droplets of water still falling down every part of his body; dark, black curls drenched and sticking to his forehead. As soon as he steps onto the mat, he catches sight of you and freezes.

His eyes look you up and down and you can see his cock visibly react.

“What are you doing here?” he inquires.

“Spending my last night with you.”

He fully steps out of the shower and closes the door behind him. He reaches for his towel, but then reconsiders. He leaves it hanging on the rack and walks slowly towards you. You’re torn on where to look—every exposed inch of him is delectable. You involuntarily start to squirm as he comes to a stop in front of you.

“Be still,” he instructs, and you immediately stop moving.

He stands above you, hands at his side, still just staring. The water dripping down from his hair lands on you, hitting your face, your breasts, your thighs. Each drop makes you anxious for his touch.

“Hyunjin?” he asks.

“It was his idea—well, not all of it,” you look down at your naked body, then back up at him. “But he wanted me to be with you tonight.”

A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips, and you can only imagine he’s feeling any equal amount of love and adoration for Hyunjin right now, too.

Chan grabs a hold of the messy bun in your hair, pulling back on it and forcing you to look up at him. He takes his cock in his other hand, guiding it towards your mouth and you lick your lips in anticipation.

“You’re all mine, then?”

He was the first to have you in this house and now he’ll be the last.

“Yes,” you nod.

You open your mouth to take his cock inside when he presses it against your lips.

He shoves it in, gripping your hair tightly as you relax your jaw to take in as much of him as you can—until you’re literally gagged. When he feels your resistance, he eases up, withdrawing with a groan, seeing your saliva coating his cock.

“You look so good like this, y/n,” he tells you, slowly withdrawing again. “Sucking my cock.”

He repeats the process several times, and you keep your eyes trained on his face. He’s torn between staring back at you and watching himself fuck your face. Like he can’t choose which is more desirable.

He reaches down with his hand and loops a finger through the heart of the collar. He tugs on it and you slowly get to your feet. He releases your hair and without any direction, you turn towards the counter and bend at the hips over it. The marble is cold against your torso and your face is dangerously close to the mirror, each exhale fogging it up a little. You lock eyes with him and wiggle your ass.

He stands at your side, one hand palming your ass as the other pulls at the collar.

“This right here,” he smacks your ass, “is what drives me crazy the most.”

He caresses the spot he just hit, then slips his fingers between your legs.

“You’re such a good girl. No one could ever guess by just looking at you—but I know,” he rubs his fingers along your slit. “I know this side of you—wet, dripping, needing my cock.”

You moan as he slides two fingers inside. He leans onto the counter as he fucks you with his fingers, putting his head directly next to yours. You turn to face him. His lust filled eyes cool off ever so slightly with his next words.

“Thank you for sharing it with me.”

“Chan—” his lips crash against yours and cut you off.

As soon as his tongue invades your mouth, you can’t even recall what you were even going to say. You kiss him back, rocking your hips against his hand. Suddenly, he removes his fingers and smacks you on the ass again, leaving it wet from your own juices.

He continues smacking your ass, taking a turn on each cheek. He turns your chin to make you face the mirror before grabbing hold of your bun again. He pulls back on it, and you arch your back, lifting up from the counter slightly, your hard nipples just barely grazing the countertop.

“You love this, don’t you?” he coaxes, slipping his fingers back inside of you.

You try to nod your head but can’t move it too much.

“Don’t you?” he repeats.

“Yes,” you whimper.

“With me?” he takes his fingers out to rub your clit, causing you to squirm against his hand.

“Yes.”

“Only me?”

You’ve certainly never been like this with anyone before and you simply don’t know what the future holds. You don’t know if anyone else can bring it out of you. You don’t know if you want anyone else to. You lock eyes with him through the mirror again before replying with an unwavering—

“Yes.”

He lets go of your hair and positions himself behind you, you remain hovering over the counter. He grips your hip with one hand, and your cuffed hands with the other as he lines himself up at your opening. As soon as the tip is inside, you can’t help yourself. You moan as you push back against him, taking him fully inside and catching him off guard.

“Fuuuuck,” he moans.

And then he’s off, thrusting into your pussy, quite literally, like it’s the last time.

And it feels so good.

He takes a tiny step to the side to adjust the angle of his thrusts and you let out a loud moan as his cock continually pushes against the most sensitive part of your body. His hand leaves the cuffs to grab a handful of your breast, pinching the nipple between his thumb and pointer finger.

“Chan, wait—I’m gonna—”

“Do it,” he urges you.

You don’t need to hear anything besides that. You close your eyes and focus on the way he’s making your body feel. Your orgasm crashes through you as you cry out in pleasure, pushing your hips back against him with fervor.

When your legs start to tremble, he slows down his pace to a stop. He takes a step back, pulling on the handcuffs so that you do, too. He walks you towards his bed and gives you a light push onto it. He grabs your legs, pulling you down to the edge before dropping to his knees behind you.

Both of his hands palm your ass, pulling your cheeks apart before his mouth latches on to your pussy.

“Fuck, Chan—the cuffs,” you plead, wanting nothing more than to touch him now.

He pays no attention to your words, instead continuing to focus on the feast in front of him. He laps, licks, and fucks you with his tongue until you come again, right on his face. You force your head into the mattress to muffle your screams as your entire body shakes.

You feel him move away from you; your face still buried in the mattress as you embrace the moment of calm. You hear him open the nightstand drawer then he returns to stand behind you.

“I should leave you like this…” he trails off.

“You’re going to hold me captive forever?”

“I would, if you’d let me.”

He unlocks the cuffs and removes them. You turn around to face him and rub your freed wrists.

“But I’ll settle for the next twelve hours.”

You arch an eyebrow at him as he advances towards you, crawling on top of you until you’re forced to lay down on the bed. You hook your legs around his waist, arms around his neck, and pull him down for another kiss.

You feel his cock hardening again between your legs and rock your hips up against it.

“You planning to keep me awake that long?” you ask teasingly.

He chuckles, lining himself up at your entrance.

“Absolutely.”

He thrusts inside of you, and his lips land on yours again.

This time it’s slow and soft and quiet.

This time it’s love.

SUNDAY

True to his word, Chan keeps you up for most of the night. At times you lay there, cuddled together and talking about whatever comes to mind. Other times, either of you start touching and teasing the other, then you’re right back to fucking.

As the sun begins to rise, you reason with him that you need at least a few hours of sleep to get through what will be a long, tenuous day of moving and unpacking. He agrees, and you fall asleep in his arms until your alarm goes off at 9:30am.

You quietly slip out of the bed and take a quick shower. It feels surreal. Your last shower in Chan’s room. Halfway through, the door opens, and he steps in to join you. You hold each other in silence, for the most part, standing under the spout.

After your shower, you make sure everything you own is packed up. You join the others for a solemn feeling breakfast and by 12:00pm, a large, black SUV arrives to pick you up. All the boys help put your bags and boxes inside while you stay in the house, hugging the other assignees goodbye. You then hug six of the eight members, telling them you’ll miss them as you hold back your tears.

Your stomach is in knots as Hyunjin and Chan walk you to the car. Your mind, your heart, your everything is spinning. Hyunjin holds your hand, keeping your grounded, as Chan walks a few paces behind the two of you.

Once you reach the car, Hyunjin pulls you in for a hug while Chan walks around to the driver’s window to speak to him, but you’re not sure what he says. Hyunjin kisses you firmly on the cheek before opening the rear passenger door for you.

“I left something for you, it’s under my bed,” you tell him.

He arches an eyebrow.

“You thought I’d forget your birthday?”

He shrugs, “I figured you had more important things on your mind.”

“More important than you?” you scoff playfully, “Don’t insult me, Hyunjin.”

He laughs and embraces you once more.

“Be good. Be happy,” he says, stepping out of the way to make room for Chan.

You and Chan just stare at each other for a moment before he comes to you and embraces you. He wraps his arms around you, squeezing so tightly you can hardly breathe. You have a fleeting thought that you don’t want to anymore—every breath you take from here on out will be without him in your life. Without any of them.

You lean back and tilt your head up towards him, eyes brimming with tears. He places a hand on the back of your head and kisses you on the forehead before stepping back. You push aside the fear and alarm bells ringing in your head as you climb into the car and roll down the window, waving to Hyunjin and the others standing at the front door. Chan is still right next to the car, a soft reassuring smile on his lips but his eyes reflect the havoc you’re feeling inside, too.

“You ready, miss?” the driver asks.

“Yes,” you nod, sitting back in the seat.

“Wait,” Chan calls out, stepping forward again.

He comes to the open window, and you lean forward to speak to him.

“Take care of yourself for me, ok?” he says.

You silently nod in response.

He grabs a hold of your head with both hands and smashes his mouth against yours. You forget about the driver being less than two feet away and kiss him back. It’s passionate, it’s sad, it somehow feels promising and that just makes it all hurt worse. You’re both left breathless when he finally breaks the kiss.

He’s still holding your head as he leans towards your ear and whispers three words that send you reeling. He pulls away, taps on the car door and gives a nod to the driver. As he puts the car into drive, you give one last look to Chan before rolling up the window. As soon as the car takes off you dissolve into a puddle of tears.

You don’t know what he means by what he said, and you know even less what would possess him to say it. And so, his last words will haunt you for quite some time.

“This isn’t over.”

[ read chapter 31 here ] (coming soon)

a/n: i feel at a loss for words, myself. how are we feeling? i'm here for you! two more chapters left. the next one is lengthy as well, so be prepared haha